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VOL. VII.
PITTSr01U) CHATHAM CO., N. C MAY 28, 1885.
NO. :8.
The Old Mill.
Her from the brow of the liill I look
Through n lit 'ice of houghs an J leaves
On the old gray mill, with its gmnbrol root
And the inoas on its rotting eaves.
1 hear the clutter Unit jars its walls,
And the rushing water's sound.
And I see the blnck floats rise and fall
As the wheel goes slowly round.
I rode there often when t wns voting.
With in; gtist on the horso helore,
And talked with Nelly, the miller's girl,
As I waited my turn at the door.
And while sho tossed her ringluts brow i,
And flirted and ehnttud so lice,
The wheel might stop or the wheel misfit go
It wiu all tho initio twine.
'lis twenty year since lust I stoo I
On the spot where I stand to-d ay,
And Nelly is wed mid the miller is dead,
And the mill and I are gmy.
Kut both, till we fall into ruin mid wreck,
To our loi tunni of toil uro bound,
And tho man goes and the stream II in s
And the wheel moves slowly round.
Thmnat Dunn Emjlith.
RUBY'S VISIT.
"Let her come to tho 'arm," raid oM
Mr. Fnnls. "She'll enjoy the blue-bells
and the peach orchards, and the white
clover blossoming along the roadside.
It will be a great deal cheaper than
Newport and more seniiblo than Cape
May."
"Oh. papa, do let ma go!" said Ituby,
clasping her pink fingers estatlcally
together. "Mamma, 3ay yes."
A year ago, Mr. and Mr. Aden Ar
cher would have considered this sort
of thing as nothing more nor less than
banishment. The Misses Archer had
never been anywhere elso than at Sar
atoga, Long Branch and Atlantic
City. 1 it times were altered now.
The "linancial pressure," whatever
that might be, had acted very unpleas
antly on the atmosphere f the Archer
household. Kuphelia, the eldest
(1; tighter, had just discovered that Mr.
Fontenoy F.ivrier, to whom sho had
engaged herself, was not next heir to
an English barone'ey, at all, but a de
faulting clerk liotii Tbreadneedle
S'reet, with half a do.en detectives
a ter him; and Alicia, the second
Uossi in of the family-tree, had been
unceremoniously deserted by Mr. Dal
las, of the I'olo Club.
"If a girl aw hasn't got money,
you know aw," said Mr. Dallas,
"there'i no use aw in keeping up
tho thing. We ain't like wavens now
adays, to be fed by aw--tie prophets.
Wo must aw have unh."
"JJut, mamma," pleaded Ruby, 'you
said 1 was to come out this winter."
"Child, don't be absurd," said Mrs.
Archer. "I said you .should be intro
duced into society, if Kuphy and Allie
were married, but they're not; and
can't go into ball-rooms at the head of
a regiment of daughters. What would
people say ?"
"It isn't nj fault that they are not
married," pouted Ruby; "and 1 win so
tired of the nursery. Mamma, can't 1
g i to Atlantic City with you?"
Certainly not!" said Mrs. Aieher.
"And mind. Rubiim, if any one asks
yon how old you are, you must say six
teen."
"Why? cried Unity, with open
brown eyes of astonishment. "Hut
was seventeen last birthday!"
"There's no sense in your growing
up so fast!" pronounced Mrs. Archer,
irritably.
"How can I help it?" said Ruby, al
most ready to cry. "I can t put a
Hone on my head, can 1?"
"Tha 3 are the girls to consider,"
said Mrs. Archer, sorrowfully.
"How are they to be bettered by my
telling lies about rny age?" retorted
Ruby..
And then her mother told her to
hold her tongue and not speak again
until she was spoken to.
So that old Uncle Ennis' offer was
truly welcome when it came, and
merry little Ruby was like a lamh let
loose upon the hills that sloped down
to tho blue tides of the majestic Con
necticut River.
She tore her dimpled brown fingers
with blackberry-briers; she rilled
birds'-nests for additions to her collec
tion of eggs; she romped like a child,
whistled like a boy, until all of a sud
den she was recalled to the facts of
real life.
She had come in from the blackberry
fields all sunbrowned and happy, her
cherry Hps stained with the purple
dyes of the fruit, to find Uncle Ennis
poring intently over a couple of let
ters. "Well, little one," said he, "what do
you think? Here are two surprises for
your
Two, uncle?" she cried.
"One to a picnic-party at the Great
Gorge."
"Oh, can 1 go?" exclaim! Ruby,
jumping up from her bowl of bread
and milk. "Jerome Franklin told me
that
' Hold on, lassie hold on!" said Un
cle Fnnls. "The other Is a proposal of ;
marriage. Mr. Dubarry wants my
sanction, and alt that, soft of thing."
"Mr. Dubarry, indeed!" paid Ruby
turning very red. "A stuffy old pro
fessor who don't know anything ex
cept about the ruins of rompoii and
Ilercnlanetirn!"
"You don't like him. pet?"
'No, indeed, I don't."
"Then." said Uncle Ennis, indul
gently, "there is an end of the whole
thing. Only when my little girl be
gins to receive offers of marriage, it
give tno a queer sort of feeling."
Ruby ate her bowl of bread and
milk silently.
"I wish they wouldn t!" said she.
"Son io day you'll wish they would,"
said the old gentleman.
And he laughed so heartily at bis
joke that Ruby could not but laugh
also.
"lint one thing you must mind, my
little lass," he added more gravely
"let that Jerome Franklin alone."
"Why, Uncle Funis?" said Ruby,
earnestly.
"II ''a a wild fellow," said Mr. En
nis. "These Franklins never any of
them came to good yet."
"Hut perhaps Ae will," said Ruby.
"I wouldn't try the experiment if 1
was you," said Uncle Ennis.
And just then Ruby lookod up and
saw Harry Safford standing in tho
doorway.
"I wonder," she thought, "if ho has
heard all we have been saying? I
don't like Harry SalTord one bit. lie
is so precise and dignilied, and Polly
Twitter says ho thinks I am a romp.
What business has ho to think about
the matter one way or another?"
So Ruby rose and went out of Ihe
room with the stateliest step that she
could command; and although Harry
waited until nine o'clock, she never
came back.
"1 wanted to ask her to go with me
to the picnic at the (!reat (Jorge, " caul
Harry to Mr. Ennis. "Do you think
she will accompany me?'
"Well, I don't know," said Uncle
Ennis, looking intently into the bowl
of his pipe. "I rather guess, by what
she said, t h at she calculates to go
with Jerome Franklin."
Salford's dark face flushed.
"Is he a lit associate for her?"
said he.
"No.. 1 don't think he is. But gals j
are queer!" reflectively added Uncle j
Ennis. "Just tell 'em you want 'em
to go one way, and see how straight
they'll start in the other!" j
Harry Safford went away with a J
heavy heart. One smile would have j
made him happy, and she had not even
vouchsafed him that.
But the next morning there came
news that Jerome Franklin had disap- j
peared most unexpectedly, and so had
n considerable sum out of the safes of
Fordyce & Fordyce, in whose legal
chambers he olliciated in the capacity
of clerk.
And the lirst thought that Hashed
into Harry Safford's mind was:
"Xom I can ask Ruby Archer to go i
to thetireat (iorge picnic with me!" I
And vet Harrv Saflord was not m ire
-
selfish than most men. i
Just within the cool shadows of tho j
Ennis woods he found Ruby hers If,
her hat hanging down her back, her 1 them an exhibition of his skill, which
tresses all disheveled, her blue eyes j to them seemed supernatural. They
drenched in tears. stared in open-mouthed wonder at all
"Why, Ruby!" he cried. "What is the tricks that were performed, and a
the matter?" feeling of awe crept over them as they
"I've lost him!" sobbed Ruby, clasp- ! saw the mysterious appearings and dis
ing her hands despairingly. Ile'sgont!" j appearings of various objects. But
A sudden chill seemed to gripe poor tho greatest marvel to them was tho
Harry's heart. Had sho then loved 1 apparent manufacture of cannon-balls.
his rival so well? Were they actually
engaged?
"And it's ail my own fault, too!''
continued Ruby, with a fresh burst of
tears. "Uncle warned me how it
would be. He warned mo againsc
having anything to do with him. But
I would have my own way. And now
1 am rightly punished. He's gone!
Jerry has run away!"
"Ruby, for heaven's sake do not
speak thus!" said poor Harry.
"But I can't help it!" wailed Ruby.
"Did you then love him so well?"
bitterly demanded tho young man.
"Didn't care a snap about him!"
cried Ruby. "But undo told mo to
let him alone, and I disobeyed. And j
now he has run away, and what will I
uncle say? Oh, I do wish the dog-1
catchers had captured him beforo
I .
ever unfastened his chain!"
"Ruby," said her amazed lover,
what on earl hare you talkingaboiit?"
"Why, about Jerry, the red Irish set
ter, to-be-sure! said Ruby. "What
should I be talking about?"
Is that all?" said Safford, with a
great sigh of relief. "Then you may
set your heart at rest. Jerry is safe
enough. I passed little Tommy Eaton
on the mountain--oad, a few minutes
ago, bringing him home with a chain
and a rope. It is of the other Merry' j
I am speaking Jerome Franklin. He,
has run away, also, with alot of m my ,
out of .Mr. Fordyce's safe." j
Has he?" said Ruby, apparently '
very bttleintereiteJ in this secondary j
piece of information. "W ell, I am pot
at all surprised. I always wondered ' YE STUI'IF.S STARS.
where he got the monry to pay for ! .
much jewelry. I'm Sony for his poor The Astronomical Ohserva
mother, though. Are you yuite sum lions of a Humorist,
that Jerry is safe, Mr. Saffotd?" I
"Yes, quite," said Mr. Safford. "And He Rummages Around Among tho flwav
now, Ruby, that you cannot go to tho m jn So.irch of Bran I Njw Sttrn.
Great f iorge picnic with Mr. Frank-
lin " j W6nre told tl.at there has been no
"But I w ain't going with him," said perceptible growth or decay in the
Ruby. "He asked me, and I said no." star business since man began to roam
"With whom, then, aro you going?" around th-oiigh space, in his mind.and
"With nobody at all," said Kuby.with make figurs on the barn door with
a.cliarming pout, "Nobody has asked red chalk, slowing the celestial time
me." : table.
And sho looked at Harry from under ; No serious (trident have occurred
her thickly-curling lashes with such a in tho starry hei.vi ns since 1 began to
laughing, mischievous glance, that ho observe and st inly their habits. Not a
promptly followed up his advantage. 1 star has va;il. not 'a star has waned
"Will you go with me, Ruby?" said to my knowledge. Not a planet has
he.
And Ruby made him a low courtesy
and answered, demurely:
"Yes, please, sir. Now let us go
and find Jerry!"
Uncle Funis was dozing over tho
weekly paper bo had read it twice
through aire nly, but be seemed always
to regard himself as devoted to litera
ture ' when ho fell asleep over the
weekly paper when Ruby ramo to
him with Harry SifTord, leading tin
red Irish setter by its chain.
"(Mi, uncle, 1 in so sorry! said she. $250. It was generally conceded by
penitentially. i astronomers that this was a brand now
"I am so glad, Mr. Ennis," said j star that had never been used, but up
Harry. ! on consulting Argolatuler's star cata-
"llut 1 let Jerry out for a run, and ' logue and pri e list it was found that
he got away from me, and littlo Tom j this was not a new star at all, but an
Eaton brought him hack; and please, : old faded out. s;ar of the ninth magni-
uncle, I'll never disobey you again.
But, uncle, that isn't all!" she added,
reddening exquisitely.
"Eli!" said tho old gentleman
"What next?"
"I've promised to marry Harry Saff
ord." "Hello!" said Mr. Ennis. "But I
thought you disliked Harry SalTord?"
"Oh, no!" cried Ruby, with earnest
ness. "Only I was afraid that ho dis
liked mi', lie called me a romp!"
"So I did," confessed Harry Safford.
"But you are the dearest littlo romp in
the world, and I love you better than
anvono else in existence!"
So Ruby was married to Judge Saf-
ford's son, and the two elder Miss Ar
chcis were forced to confess that "our
little sister" had led off the marriage
minuet with distinguished suo'ess.
"But only to think," said Ruby, "of
his being jealous of Jerome Franklin!
How silly nu n are, to-be-siire!"--M
Fori i it Urn rex.
How a Treaty was Hade.
During tho French conquest of Al
geria negotiations for peace were en
tered upon with the sheiks of certain
Arab tribes, and a meeting for the set
tleinentof terms was arranged to tako j
place at the French head-iiuarters. Tho !
French ollicers received their guests of
the desert witu great hospitality, and I
a banquet was given in their honor.
At this the utmost splendor was un- j
folded in order to dazzle-their eyes and '
captivate their simple minds. At its !
conclusion an ad iourninent to a laria
-- ---- o -
hall was proposed. Hero M. Uoudin, j
the celebrated conjurer, who aecom- i
paniedthe French forces, was to give j
The conjurer passed around among
them a high hat This they examined
very carefully, but without being ablo j have a rest- ever a.-k me again to
to discover anything unusual in either ' 't up all night and tako care of a new
its make or aimearance. AVhen it w;m ' born w orld whilo you lie in bed and
returned to him, M. I loud in placed it
on the floor in the middle of tho . stage
in full view of his audience. Ho then
proceeded to take from that hat can
non balls apparently without number,
and rolled them across tho floor into
tho wings. This terminated the per
formance. The chiefs consulted
among themselves, and came to the
conclusion that it was useless toopposo
an army that could turn out its am
munition in so cosy a mannor. They
therefore signod the required treaty,
and departed to tell their friends In
the desert of the wonderful power of
the invaders. Harper's 3Imja:iin'.
I He Hadn't Noticed It.
j "Aw, Miss Helen," smiled a sickly
! dude trigged out in nil his parapher-
nalia, promenading with a young j
lady, "will you be so kind as to notice
my new walking stick? It is the very
latest, I assuah you.
"Ah, yes, quite handsome," she re
plied, taking it from his hands and
twirling it gracefully.
"Aw, Miss Helen. I assuah you it is
quite too Incoming. I should think,
ah, don't you know, that you would
walk with a stick."
"I do sometimes, Mr. Fitzrlarenco,
a I, a r.,un.la.l an. I U. V I
, ' . '
;,,,' wpnt' p talking",.: .Ivi I
Traveller. '
season-cracked or shown any of the in
jurious i ll'ccts of cur rigorous climate,
i Not a star has ripened prematurely or
fallen off the trees. The varnish on
the very oldest stars I find on close
, and critical examination to be in
; splendid condition. They will all no
doubt wear as long as we need them,
and wink on long alter we have ceased
to wink back.
In lty)') there appeared suddenly in
the northern crown t star of about tin
third magnitude and worth at lent
! tilde, with Ho front breadths turned
i wrong side out and trimmed with
moonlight along the seams.
After a few days of phenomenal
brightness it gently ceased to draw a
j salary as a star of 11. o third magnitude
I and walked home with an "Uncle
. Tom's Cabin" company,
j Then, again, you take a certain style
of star, which you loam from l'rof.
. inion Newcomb is at such a distance
that it takes .MV"" years fur its light
! to rea b Bust on. Now we will sup
j pose that after looking over tho large
i stock of new and second-hand stars,
and after examining the spring cata-
, i,, .in, ,,rire list I decide that one
of the smaller size will do mo and I
buy it. How do I know that it was
there when I bought it? Its cold and
silent rays may havi ceased 4'., '
years before 1 was born and the intel
ligence be still on the way. There is
too much margin between sale and de
livery. Every now and then another
astronomer comes to me and says:
"1'rolcssor, I have discovered another
new star and intend to lite it. Found
it last night about a uiiiu and a half
south of the zenith running loose.
Haven't heard of anybody wdio has
lost a star of tho lilteenth magnitude,
about thirteen hands high, with light I
"""'e 'l tail, have you.-'" Now, how
I know that ho has discovered a I
brand now star? Hon- can I discover
whether he is or not playing an old,
threadbare star on me for a new one ? I
It is surprising that every little
while I contemplato withdrawing
from scientilic research to go and skin
n eight -mule team do'vn through the
dim vista of relentless vears.
There is much in the great field of
astronomy that is discouraging to the
savant who hasn't the time nor means
to rummage around t!irough the heav
ens. At times I am almost hopeless,
and feel like saying to the great yearn
ful, hungry world: "(I rope on forever.
Do not ask me for another scientific
fact. Find it out yourself. Hunt up
J'our owr' new-laul planets, ami let mo
reck not."
I get no salary for examining the
trackless void night after night when i
I ought to be in bed. 1 sacrifice in v i
health in order that tho public may
know, at once, of the presence of a red
hot comet, fresh from the factory.
And vet, what thanks do I get ?;
A .
Talil In His Own Coin.
William Hosea Ballon narrates In tho
Chicago Sut urdu ;i Ereniw lliruld
the following romantic story: In the
northern limits of the city of New
York isncolassal apartment house,
whoso spacious Hats are occupied by
many wealthy people. la one of these
large and roomy suits resides a widow,
whose twenty-live millions certainly
entitled her to recognition in the Iter-
aid list of the lady millionaires of the
metropolis, recently published. Dear
er to her than her vast possession is a
lovely daughter, gifted with all tho
weidth of refinement, graces and cul
ture that study, travel and contact can
bestow. Not many years ago, alius
cian noble was appointed to an impor
tant diplomatic mission to Washing
ton. He met the fair American, then
just budding into womanhood, and a
rvtAAtfif loVA nt. ll rt. si aht trananirail
. (lr. ... . ,.llr..- ,'.,;
followed the travels of the family
.,,, ,llA ,,rl, , BvhiIli,i hi. a..,'
"6 ' r
devlion before the gae ot all nations.
Far
in
U'.B .IS, me WIIIIJH
ceived an alarming dispatch from
New York, disclosing a theft by her
agent, his flight, and her possible pov-
erty. The Russian was consulted.
Instead of ottering advice and assis
tance, he congealed into Russian frig
idity. "I think," he said to his lady love,
"that as your status has not continued
as I found it, we had better part."
The lady did not reply. She turned
her back upon him.
The widowed lady and her daugh
ter hastened to America, found a 11 airs
in a mixed condition, but easy of re
pair. They spent six months in the
West, looking after their estates, and
as much more time in the East repair
ing their I'm tunes, so that, in one year's
time all of this former glory was re
stored. Not long thereafter his Rus
sian highness was sent to this country,
as Envoy Extraordinary. He paused
in New York to rest before proceed
ing to Washington, and met a cous'n
of his former love.
"By the way," said the cousin,
"spc ii'dngol the way shattered fortunes
are repaired in America, there is the
case of a member of our family, Mrs.X.
She had much of her property stolea
and tho rest left in a bad condition.
but in one year's time she has caught
and punished the thief, rcc vered all
her possessions, and is now better oil
than ever." j
"Where do they reside," asked tho
suddenly interested noble.
"At the Y Hats. But why do yoj '
ask?" " j
"Oh I am going there to tell tho
American girl 1 w II marry her at '
once." April 21, lsj.V-she was married to
That evening, nn elegant each drove : (me ,)f lh(, ymng sur(;(,ns who hwl
into the rotunda of the Y Hats. A i been captivated bv her beauty and her
gentleman in evening court dress, dec- l)rain;,f ,lir s,e possessed both to an
orated in me !als and ribbons denoting j unllsu;,i .iree. Without few or care
his many orders, ascended the elevator j fl,r tllL. futuro shfi wpnt on h,.r hrhM
immediately following a card bearing j tur to Europe, spending the spring
the title: "Envoy Extraordinary and j and ,..iry summer on horseback and
Minister Plenipotentiary to the Uni- j hy coasting steamers among tho very
ted States of America." i romantic mountains and seacoast of
Miss X was seated alone in tho Spain, winning her way everywhere
drawing room. To the eager Russian j by her beauty and wit, special enter
she had never worn such loveliness, ! tainments leiim arranged for her both
such stately demeanor. Mio arose as
he bowed to the floor and endeavored
to kiss her hand. He fill on his knees '
and caught the hem of her skirts. ;
"Forgive me, my dear." he implored,
"I was not aware of the reiu irkablo
changes in the American life. Be my
adored wife and you shall never again j
have cause to doubt me."
She regarded him coldly a moment j there to get a trousseau and secure a
and then turned her back toward him. j passage home. And here comes in
as upon a previous occasion. "1 think," ' the sad part of the story. 'I ho steam
she said, adopting his own language, i er had a tempestuous voyage of eight
"Ihat since your status has not con- ecu da vs. In tho midst of a hiirrt-
tinued as I found it, we bait better
part."
III .Maluli null flie .Menageries.
"'I he row in the Soudan is going to
play havoc with the wild animal
trade this year," said Superintendent
I Brown, at the Zoological Oarden.
Vs
long as there is a war there, of course
no animals can be exported from that
portion of Africa. I. ions are vt ry
high now, although the lion market is
dull. A good pair of African lions
are worth fJ.Miio or more. Most of
the hippopotami come from Nubia
and the northwestern part of Africa.
If all the hippopotami in this country
were to take a notion to die. we
couldn't get any more for a long
ljlrui"
"Are they apt to die in captivity.?"
"Yes; moving about isn't good for
them. Some animals seem to thrive
belter when they ire with menage-
ries, going from one part of tho conn-
try to another, but a hippopotamus
ought to stay in one place. Last year
there were thirteen of these animals in
the United States; now there are on-
ly eight. Giraffes come from the Sou- morphia, belladonna, hyoscyanius lup
dan, and they are very scarce and , Hlin an'1 even chloroform was freely
very highpecuniarily as well as in ' m!l(le "seof in the vain attempt to re
stature. I think there aro four Giraffes Reve the intense pamxyisms of pain.
in this contry now. We have one, and
there is nothing tho matter with him
except his hoofs; they are too long
We try to clip them, but he don't like
it, and ho is liable to kick a man lif
teen feet or so. (lira lies are great but
ters, too. They cm strike a blow
with their heads that would astonish
Sullivan. Two baby giraffes, only
seven feet high, sold recently for
$2,HM, It's almost impossible to put
a price on these animals now, they
are so scarce." l'hiludrlphiu Thms.
Hood Hare Thought It!
"Take her up tenderly,
"Lift her with care,"
"Ah, that is a beautiful thing, sir,"
said the pensive stranger.
"Wot is?" asked the man with a
cast in his eye.
"Hood's 'Bridge of Sighs, that I just
heard you quitting," replied thepensive
stranger.
"That ain't no -Bridge of Sighs,' " re
plied the man with a cast in his eye.
"That's the commencement of an ode
to a roller rink!" i'ittsbuiv Chronic'e.
'"Hlf? STORY OF A CANCER.
How a Young New York Bdle
i Suffered and D'ed.
!
Marrying Happily After Losing an Arm
j Only to Moet with a Fatal Accident
Oeneral (.rant's illness recalled to a
' New York doctor the touching histo
ry of a very attractive young lady
I who was well known in New York
J soeiety at tho close of tho war. Hav
ing graduated from Bellevuo hospital
. in the spring of 101, ho says in the
H'o7': I was invited, about a month
after that event to ho present at the
operation b,r tho removal of the left
(inn of a young lady living at No 11
East Twenty-ninth street, the only
' dauglilor of a resident practitioner
, now dead, Dr. John Tuttle. Quite a
number of young physicians were
there, and they, as well as their seniors,
: were struck with the remarkable beau
ty, both in face and form, of the young
lady, as well as her wonderful self
! possession. She even wanted to see
, the instrument:! that were to be used
; ,,pon .r iW t Jt, told their uses.
The injury h id occurred through th'i
fall of a saddle-horse on which sho
was riding while at her country home
at Rye the summer before. Tho
j bruise developed an encephaloid
in the arm, and the entire an
tumor
iirm was
skillfully removed by the celebrated
Dr. James R. Wo id. In ten days she
was about tho house, singing like a
bird, and that summer enjoyed in ap
parently perfect health all tho delights
of emancipation from school life, hav
ing just graduated from Rutgers with
high honors. Tho following vear
by the courteous ollicers at Gibraltar
and by the young naval ollicers of an
English squadron that chanced to
meet tho party at Barcelona, and ev
erywhere receiving that marked atten
tion which .she seemed born to com
mand, she continued through Swit
zerland and tiormany into Russia and
then back through (iermany to Paris,
cane the young lady attempted to go
on tho upper deck. She fell, crushed
her hip, was confined to her berth for
the last nine days and was unable
even to see the beautiful harbor of the
city she loved so well. Arriving Jan.
, 1, IK'.iti, the very day that she had
I looked forward to when she would be
I receiving the congratulations of her
i friends, she was taken in an ambu
lance to the house of Dr. James R.
j Wood, where a consultation was held.
Another encephaloid was ft und to
have developed itself and all hope was
j abandoned. Yet such was her vilali-
ty and cheerful courage amid untold
; agony that she not only lived for six
mthn. but buoyed up the rest of the
family with her inspiring words and
! manner. This is the history of one of
i tlie mnny forms of canoer and shows
' how insidious is their progress and
now fatal in the la this young
lady's case everything was done - even
a targe crauie was made ami in it she
' W!k3 rocked for twenty -four hours at a
( unlt- A'luea lo mis passive motion,
sedative treatment in the form of
The Plot.
Funnywag met a friend of his re-
cently w ho is something of a story-
writer. Extending his hand with a
broad-tread smile, he said:
"You're just the fellow I want to
see. I just thought of a fine plot
which you can work up this spring, if
you choose."
"I suppose I might manage to do
something with it. What is It?"
"It's a grass plot!" Hatchet.
The Infantile Match-Maker.
"Good evening. Tommy. Is your
sister Clarissa at home?'
"Yes, sir; she's out In the kitchen
! popping corn for you."
' "Popping corn forme? Why how
I very thoughtful! I like pop-corn very
i much."
j "Yes, sir. She said she was going
I .o put a pan of pon-eorn under vour
nose, and If you didn't take the hint
Rhe'd give yon the shake."
Something besides corn was popped
at evening. Mail and Express.
Contentment.
"My little worlil is vory mull,
S iiri'i; worth 3"Oiir nntirti, feir, lit nil,"
"J ho mother sni l.
"My gooil, k i n l Im-lminl, ns you see,
Ami Iho.-e tliri'O chiklri n lit rny knee
Who look to ui go ti-ii-tinlv
For ilnily hi t ii I --
"I-'oc their Mvret Hiikci, who lovfi mo v
I keep the lii.'iih'lit in n glow
In our ilenr home,
l'lmt, though llin ti'iii'0St tonr otitsi'lo.
An'l lii ii ely hi-nten liir nml whIp.
l'ho cheeiy hla. may wi ve to nui'le
Ilenr leet thnt ifmni.
"Anil in the merry Ket le hoil,
W e w elcninc hint wlmil nly toils
for ii e;ii-li tiny.
I if 1 1 lie I ive kiMM-i lull 11 si-inn
lie e,el-s I'm certain, if not more,
h. n (mill iihh ii ii-i-t him lit th Moor,
At twilight ruy.
"i me c;H the i-li iick tin hi- l'"i'l.
Another leail- huu to l.i- "cat
'1 lie hl ill ill rleiir
Ami nhile t lie -1 1 1 1 ' 1 1 in riinti'l turn -in;.
Aii'l make the ilenr olil r iftcM nn'.
Imp little ll.lllllti'l rinwii-i him kne
Willi I.Iiiviiih Ian-.
"Ah. sir, wp are not rich "i" (.'re it
'i'lie mvnpii nl a itl c-t'ite,''
The mother i-aiil ;
'Kill ue have hett' l far tint" :,"!
t ontf iftlllellt, ami II llllle f J'l
As lull ul love us il vim hoi I,
With ilaily hieml."
Mr. .1. .1. KM":
II UMOItOl S.
The giraffe presents tho most won
derful case of soar throat on record.
In these "shutting down" times it is
evident that ten mills do not make a
cent.
Spicer asks: "What is tho rate of
interest when distan-e lends enchant
ment to I he view."
"Of all rny family patients," said
Dr. Killemqtiick, "not one is sick."
"fitiess you haven't called on any of
them lately?" inquiringly remarked a
brother M. D.
Over new doctors were turned
out of a New York medical college
recently. This looks as though thoir
institutions were working on full time
to keep pace with the establishment of
skating rinks.
"Hello, Smith! Supposo a man mar
ries his first wife's step-sister's aunt,
what relation is he to her?" "First
wife - uni step-aunt er let's see
1 don't know." "Bright fellow. He's
her husband."
"What did 1 understand you to say
this is, ma'am ?" the new boarder asked
the landlady. "Spring chicken, sir,"
tartly replied the lady, "pray, what did
you think?" "That's what 1 thought
it was, ma'am, w ith all the springs left
in."
An honest man may bo about as
hard to find as a plumber with a mort
gage on his bouse; but when you do
stumble upon htm ho has his trade
mark upon his lace, and, whether in
homespun or store-clothes, might walk
through the town with an umbrella
under each arm without fear of unjust
suspicion.
A (joint Word for Ihe Turks.
'J he Turkish people have been ac
cused of brigandage, assassination and
every description of crime. I, who have
lived among them for lif teen years, am
proud to proclaim myself their cham
pion. As soldiers and sailors they aro
unrivalled when well commanded.
As peasants they aro industrious, long
suffering and good. In their religion
they are sincere, and never fanatical
unless roused lobe so by ill usage and
sneers at their faith. Let the sports
man, the traveller or the antiquarian
in pursuit of pleasure or business llnd
himself among the real Turks in Ana
tolia or elsewhere, and he will be safo
as to his person and property and re
ceivo every kindness and hospitality;
whereas, when ho goes among tho
Christains sett led in Turkey, ho will
frequently be robbed, and always un
der the levy of blackmail. Accusa
tions have been made against tho
Turks of cruelty and ill-usage, which
have been exaggerated, sometimes to
a ludicrous degree - such as when a
reverend divine reported that ho actu
ally saw a man impaled, who turned
out to bo a fisherman silting on a pole
watching for fish to enter his net. Se
riously speaking, tho statistics of crime
committed in Turkey by Turks would
bear favorable comparison with those
of many so-called enlightened nations.
Turkey and England.
Making the Rest of It.
Dr. Hough, bishop of Worcester.was
the most amiable of prelates. He had
a very curious barometer which cost
two hundred guineas; and one day a
young man called on him at the palace.
In placing a chair for the visitor the
footman knocked down the barometer
and smashed it to atoms. The young
man was covered with confusion at
being tho innocent cause of such., an
accident; but the Bishop, with a pleas
ant smile, said, "Don't mention it,
pray. The weather has been very dry
for long time, and perhaps we shall
have some rain now. I never saw the
barometer so low," J,oruton Tinte