SI)c Cljatfjam Record ill,. $t RATES ED1TOH AND PHOPKIETOIl. or 8 AyAyA Ay TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, ADVERTISING One snunw nnp insertion- m H.Mt One square, two insertions - 1.50 One square, one month - 260 One copy, one year - One copy, six montlis . One copy, three months 2.00 .- $1.00 , . 50 vol. x. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, OCTOBER 27, 1887. NO. 8. For larger advertisements liberal cott tracts will bo made. Glljc iGljatljcuu Uccorfc. If 1L mi w 1 I 1 I Lore's Triumph. When tha m rn broke clear aivl tlw sun rose bright. And the son. nliiWi had tossed through that terrible iiitfht, n that rock-bound shore, Yn:-c: t surge ami to swell in waves moun tain high. refi ll to toss its foam angrily up towards t lie sky, 'cased its horrible roar. Tlien she slide from her rot, with her babe elosely pivssM (5ain-t lier heart, whiehhad wildly throbbed in her breast Through the wearisome night; .And she moved to the cliffs, which stood high and steep. And. with wi.e-UrinR eye. lioked out on the.ij in th" I'lear morning light. That vas' -'a as smo oth as n lake that's at rert; V..f n uave onld le seen upon its broad br-.-a . it rolled to the land; Yet it silently swept far up on the beach. Kverytim' it cm up striving higher to ' rcs-h 1'ni the bleak strand. For a moment her heart was tilled with af fright. While she rael on th" sea. lit by mornings clear light. And saw far and near, m the breast ( the dep. bits of hull and of niat. W hich told of the tempest that o'er it had passed In that night bleak and drear. "Twns her fisherman husband for whom she feared. For his boat on the ean she eagerly pee-ed, l!nr hi sad was in sight: Th-n her eyes chanced to turn from the sea to the land. And she saw a man's form lying still on the pand In the clear morning light. Something strange in that form fr a breath stopp-sl )).r heart. Jsnmething known in that form caused the life blo,d to dart Through her bosom ow-e more; For a moment she scarcely could gather her breath. For a moment her face was as ghastly as death. As she pad at the shore. Thr u she rufcfd to hr hut, took th babe from livr hrcm. And. leaving the i-hild in hi cradle to rest, Sh" h jstened to go 'I town the path, that was cut in the cliffs rugged si'!". To the sands where the ocean's still rising tide t 'ame steady and slow. "With a fast beating heart along the dry beach. "Which the incoming tide was trying to le.ich. She flew o'er the ground; In the form which lay there, as if dead, on its fide. In the spot where 'twas left by the last rising tidu. Her husband was found. At his side in on instant she dropped on her knee. And eagerly peered nt his features to see Were he living or dead; But she saw that his face was as ghastly as death. And there came from his lips not even a breath As sh lifted his head. Th'n the shirt o'er his breast she tore quickly apart. And her jnivei ing hand she placed on his heart For a moment's brief space; A '-he felt his heart's throb, uncertain and slight. Her breast filled with joy, her eyes shone with a light Which transformed her face. He was ghastly and cold as he lay on the sand At the spot unto which he'd been swept on the strand By that terrible storm, But her heart leajied for joy in the breast of that wife, For she'd felt his blood throb and she knew there was life In that almost dead form. With the strength of a giant, born of her love. She carried that form to the cliff -top above, From the surf -beaten shore; And she dared on the way not a moment to rest. I.estthe heart that so faintly beat in his breast Should cease evermore. To their cot, near at hand, her burden she lore, And. though her frame shook as she entered the door. Her heart did not quail; Yet she sighed when she'd placed his form on the lied, For his eyes were wide staring as if he were dead. And his face ghastly pale. With the courage of love she fought for his life. With the vigor of love she entered the strife An 1 conquered grim Death; For she saw, in good time, light gleam in his eye. And she 1 tea rd with delight from his bosom a Mj;h, And she felt his faint breath. l.oe had won. as oft times it had won bc b re: Love had won, as it will till our loving is o'er, Till we pass from this earth; Strength had come to her arms as her hus band she I lore, fstr tigth had come to her frame that she'd ne'er k'lown before Till love give it birth. -New York Graphic. A LITTLE HERCULES. A'Vit; hack in the Mtie; I was finan- i d iv i;. t r,"-t e 1 j.s two or three Texas iiiUiptiscs with a mm named George Sloano. That was his right name, but in many localities in Texas he was known only as Nervy George. I have seen a great many statements concerning his adventures in print, but all more or less exaggerated. Some of the adven tures which came about while wc were in company 1 will now give to the press for the first time. Sloane was an Ohio boy, and 1 made his acquaintance and chummed with him in Andcrsonvillc prison. Yc went West together after the war, and at that time lie was only 27 years old. lie was ." feet 7 inches high, weighed 160 pounds, and was the strongest man I ever saw outside of a professional wrestler or cannon-ball tosser. His flesh was so hard that he could crack a walnut on his leg. On two or three oc casions I knew him to break the bones in a man's hand by a single grip. He took no training of any sort, but the strength and ruggedness were born to him. As if not satisfied in making him a young hercules, nature gave him the most wonderful nerve and courage. He once told me that ho would give .$100 to realize for tivc minutes what fear was. I saw hitn in some of the hottest places a man could get into, and I never saw him falter or hesitate or make a mistake in doing just the right thing. Oue afternoon, after we had finished up some business in Dallas and were rjady to go, we entered a saloon. It was full of gamblers, cowboys and rough characters generally, and every man wore a revolver in plain sight. "Wo were sipping our drink when a burly, big ruffian, who was a tighter from way back, intentionally fell against Sloane with considerable force, and then stood oil and leered at him and said: "I'm wait in' fur ye to ax my parding for that, banty." Sloane never carried a weapon of any sort while ia town. lie looked the fel low over in a cool and quiet way, and finally asked : "Did you intend to insult me, sir?" ' 'Iusult ye ?" echoed the other. 4 '"Who talks of insults? Why ye little game cock from somebody's barnyard, I'll give ye two minits to get down on your knees to me." "If you do not beg my pardon before I finish this glass," replied George, "I will make a wreck of you." By this time everybody in the saloon had crowded around us, and it was easy to see we had no iriends there. There was something in Sloane's eye and tone which cautioned the big fellow, and if left to himself he would have retired from the scrape. But h" was egged on and braced up by the crowd who ached to see a row, and he stepped back a lit tle, drew his revolver, ami growled. "Now, banty, get down on your mar row bones, or you'll take a dose of lead." Sloane leaned on the bar with his el bow and sipped his wine slowly, paying no further attention to any one. lie was, perhaps, a minute and a half finishing his glass, and during the last half min ute he was covered by the man's re volver. When he set the glass down he wiped off his mouth, returned the hand kerchief, and then turned and advanced upon the ruffian. The man fired point blank at his head, cut off a lock of hair, and the bullet killed the bartender. Before he could fire again George seized him, one hand on his throat and the other on his knee, lifted him high in the air, and held him thus for ten seconds. Then he gave the body a fling upon some whiskey barrels ten feet away. It was an astonishing feat of strength, and the silence of death fell upon the room. When it was broken it was by a man who had tip-toed over to the barrels to look at the ruffian, and who hoarsely whispered : "Great heavens! Tom is as dead as a fish !" So ho was. The iron lingers had choked the life out o? him as he was held aloft, and when he struck the barrel al most every bone in his body was Broken. George stood there for two long minutes, lookiug from one to the other, and then asked : "Does anybody else want rnc to go down on my knees? ' Never a man replied. Never a hand was lifted and we went slowly out and mounted our horse and rode away un molested. A month or so later we were at Waco, and one night attended the perfor mance at a concert hall. A rougher crowd couldn't have been brought to gether. In the first fivejninutcs of our stay, I saw three tumblers of beer shot out of the hands of waiters, and a hat was knocked from the head of one of the stage performers by a bullet. i scented a row and wanted to go, but George asked mj to wait a bit. Direct ly in front of us sat an outlaw from the Indian Territory, lie was in an ugly frame of mind and anxious for blood letting, and pretty soon he turned on us with: ' "Which of you vermin spit on my hat?" "Neither of us, sir," politely an swered my friend. "You arc a liar!1' shouted the man, as he rose up. "No shooting! No shooting!" called a bundle I voices, and the stage perform ance was suspended to sec the row out. Wc wire chock up to the side of the hall, with a wide aisle in our front. Re treat was cut off, while we could be ap proached by three men abreast. Wc put our backs to tho wall, and I called out that We were Unarmed and wanted fair play. Twenty people shouted back that wc should have it, but in place of two men approaching lis a whole half do2cn jumped into the aisle. 1 'Leave them all to me," whispered George, and he obliged me to do so by stepping in front. The crowd came at us with a rush, sleeves rolled up and fists clenched. George stepped out to meet them. Biff! Biff! weut his iron knuckles, and every man was knocked down insido of forty seconds, and that before one of them j could get in a blow. Then George j picked each one up in turn, gave him a shake which elicited a howl of pain, and flung him among the spectators. Not one of them came back after more, and no one else lu the audience cared to meddle with us. It wa3 over in five minutes, and after the stage manager had tendered us a vote of thanks, the performance went on. Three of the five men received broken limbs in the toss, and one was made a cripple for life by having his spine injured. One of the nerviest things in Sloane's whole career happened at Navasota, on the Brazos Hi ver. We were sitting on the veranda of the hotel, when a lighter en tered the village on horseback, and armed with a Winchester and two revol vers. He took a drink or two, and then started in to capture the town. There was only one street, and he rode up and down this at full gallop, tiring right and left and uttering terrific yells. In five minutes he had the town. People dis appeared from sight with amazing celeri ty, ami everybody was thoroughly cowed. The fellow fired two shots among the sitters on the veranda, and we stampeded. I own up I had no desire for a closer acquaintance with the ruf fian, and I was among the first to seek cover. When we were all inside I peeped cautiously from a window and saw Sloane still outside. He was on his feet, leaniug against a column of the veranda and smoking a cigar as coolly as you please. I shouted for him to come in, but he shook his head. Appeals were made by others, but he turned a deaf ear. The cowboy had by tlm time reached the lower end of the street and turned to come back. He came at full gallop, but checked his horse in front of the hotel and fired three shots at Sloane from a distance of fifty feet. The first zipped past his ear. the other two cut cloth without drawing blood. Wc were looking full at the shooter from the windows, and as he fired his thirl shot without bringing his man a look of won der came to his face, and he bent for ward for a closer look, and shouted: "Who arc you, man or devil?" George sauntered along to the steps, slowly descended, and approached the man, and as he came near enough he grabbed for him. Next instant the cow boy was pulled oil hi horse and being literally mopped all over the road. He tried to use a weapon, but was disarmed with scarcely an effort, and whoa George got through with' him he lay as one dead. Kille, revolvers, and knife were broken and flung in a heap beside him, and George sat down on the steps to finish his smoke. He had kept his cigar alight through the fracas. I personally inter viewed the doctor who was called to sec the cowboy, and he gave me a list cf the injuries, as follows: Left arm broken, thumb oa right hand broken, three scalp wounds, right shoulder probably dislocated, three teeth knocked out, five bad bruises on various parts, ono eye closed. The fight did not last three minutes, and yet the little giant laid the fellow up for three good months and taught him a lesson he never forgot. I saw and talked with him a year later, and he told me he never was so scared in his life, and that he was not yet entirely well from the drubbing. New York Sun. Stowaways. Stowaways trouble English steamers more this year than ever before. To find ten or fifteen of them is a common thing. They make friends with the men who load the vessels, and are put away wher ever they can be secreted. In vessels that bring over brick the loaders will build up a little room around two or three men, and in several cases from a dozen to two dozen men have thus been secreted. Most of them are tramps. They only remain in their hiding places till the vessel is well out to sea, when they make their appearance to be sup ported during the rest of the voyage. Philadelphia Call. The Tired Boots. A little Boston boy, aged six, is of a very imaginative temperament. Quite recently his mother noticed that at bedtime- each night he laid his little boots together upon their sides, instead of set ting them upright. "Pray tell me why you always place your boots that way?" said mamma; and the child replied: "Because they must be tired walking so much all day; Hay them sideways so that they can rest." CHILDREN'S COLUMN. Nut-Time. The nuts are ripe in the hazel-wood And hang in many a cluster, Andj with merry dirt To gather thenl iiij The children quickly muster; The nuts are ripe on hedge and treej As the field-mice know with good reason; And each makes up his mind He won't be behind With ttores for the winter season. Little folks; The Sword of Damocles. You will sometimes read an allusion to the sword of Damocles. Perhaps you have not understood what it meant. This is the story. Some four hundred years before the time of Christ, Dio- nysius the elder was "tyrant," or ruler, of Syracuse, in Sicily. He Was sur rounded by courtiers, of whom Damo cles was one. This man having flattered the tyrant and spoken in the most glow ing language of the happiness of roy alty, Dionj sius resolved to teach him a severe lesson. Damocles was iuvitcd to the palace, but in the midst of the gor geous banquet he happened to look upward--, when he beheld a keen-edged sword hanging above his head, aud sus pended by a single hair. His fear lest the hair might snap at any moment de stroyed all hopes of enjoyment, aud from that time his notions of royal bliss became seriously changed. The amc idea of the cares of the kingly state was expressed by Shakespeare, when he put iuto the mouth of Henry the Fourth the well known sentiment -"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown." Uffeniliny a Mouse. I was visiting at a friend's house in Calcutta, says Mr. Keane in his "Three Years of a Wanderer's Life," and was on thiseveniug sitting at dinner alone. The table had been some time waiting for the host and I had at last received a note that he was not coming home. 1 had finished dinner and was still linger ing at the table, when a little monsa ran up on the top of a bowl with a sort of basket work cover on it, I should not have thought that of it self very singular, for the "tribes on our frontier" made most unexpected in cursions. But when he did get perched on the cover of the bowl, the little fel low rose upon his hind ks witb hi hands before him and began to enter tain me with the funniest little mouse song you can imagine. "Chit, chit, cheep cheep chit," he whistled, and he kept it up before me in the most unem barassed and self possessed little way. I must have been a trying audience, for I leaned back in my chair and roared with laughter. As I looked at the little performer I gradually became aware of a shadow, a somethiug strange gliding out from be hind a dish toward the mouse. Silently and slowly it ueared him ; in another minute a beady snake's eye glittered in the lamp light. My hand stole softly for the carving knife. The snake reared his head level with the mouse, and the poor little fellow's song, which had nev er ceased, became piercingly shrill, though he sat up rigidly erect and mo tionless. The head of the snake drew back a little to strike; out flashed the carving knife. The spell was broken instantly, for the mouse dropped and scampered. The snake was wounded, for there were I drops of blood on the table cloth, and it was writhing about among the dishes and plates. I could not make a bold stroke at any part of it for fear of breaking the crockery, and whenever I made a dig with the point it was like pricking the garler. I would not have believed, until I had seen it, how much of himself a snake can stow away under the edge of a plate. At last I saw tho end of hU tail pro jecting out from under a dish. A snake jheld by the tail and swung rapidly round cannot turn back and bite. 1 grabbed the tail with my left thumb and finger, and drew him out until I judged the middle of his body to bt under the knife - then I came down and cut him in two. He was a cobra a lit tle one about two feet long, but quite large enough to kill a man. Timber Snpply of the Conntry. Notwithstanding the great draw upon the wood reserves of the country, there is no danger of exhaustion at present. New England is by no means denuded of its timber. The great northwestern vineries arc comparatively unexhausted. There is also a vigorous second growth of white pine in New England, where the forests are already yielding between 200,000,000 and 300,000,000 feet of tim ber annuallj Southern pine, although 3trippcd from the banks of the streams flowing into the Atlantic, is practically untouched in the Gulf States, especially those bordering on the Mississippi. The hard wood forests of the Mississippi basin are still prolific. In Michigan, particularly the northern peninsula, hard wood is plentiful, maple espcciallj-. In the Pacific coast region the great forests -i fir arc practically intact. The forest capacity of the country is vst. Strange 'o say, the decimating element of most potence is fire, and not the axes of mer :cnary timber speculator. Boston Bul-etin. SUPERSTITION. The Belief in Signs Common to Many People. Some Old-Time Omens arid What they Indicate. It is astonishing what a hold super stition has upon the average American, and it may be safely said that there is not one in a hundred who has the force of character and strength of mind to unburden himself of all such foolish no tions. Among gamblers superstition forms as much a part of a professional's education as learning to-deal c irds, and until he has all the innumerable super stitions which prey upon the minds of his class at his fingers' tips he cannot expect to rank as a real "gam;'' Actors, too, are the most superstitious people on the face of the globe. In no company will the manager permit the "tag" or end of the play to be spoken during the preliminary rehearsal, and if, on the night of the first appearance an actor of the company or an attache of the theatre happens to look out front to "fizc up" the house before the curtain is rung up, he or she is in for a long squabble with the manager or his assis tant. In less intelligent companies this breach of "etiquette" would cost the offender a good part of the salary that might be due him. Housewives hive as many supersti tions as gamblers, even more, and some of them arc really laughable. In the country, if the back door happens to be open and a rooster crows near it, the in dustrious housewife who may bo in the kitchen scouring her knives, will drop them in a hurry and run and get on her clean "duds." She considers it a sure sign that a stranger is coming. But should that rooster turn his back on the open doorway and go off crowing his action will send a cold chill meandering up and down the spinal column of the housewife, for then she knows "for cer tain" there'll be a death in tV family. Bad luck, too, wi.l come if she sweeps dirt into her yard, a nm.it hi taken up in the house and burned iu the stove. This superstition should be cul tivated. Other superstitions, of the same char acter such as sweeping with a broom at night time or dumping crumbs ia the yard deserve universal commendation. But just let a hen crow in the yard of some old, way-back farmer. It will cause considerable commotion in the family. From the in frequency of this occurrence the belief in the minds of many people that it foretells a death is ineradicable. There arc many other su perstitions that are not common to any particular class, but find believers in all ranks smd every condition of life. Thus, the familiar verses If you love me as I love you, No knife can cut our love in two must have been founded on the old-time belief that to present a knife to any per son, and especially if he or she was loved by the donor, would bring bad luck, and in the case of lovers a separa tion. "Death ticks" and the sound as of bells ringing in a house arc cousins ger man of the Irish "banshee," and the same direful consequences that are sup posed to attend the appearance of the latter will result in the former instance. A superstition which finds believcr9 among really intelligent people is that of the "howling dog." If a dog howls or moans iu front of your house at night, to many people it is a sure fore runner of sickness or death in the family. The writer kuows of two in stances where the moaning of a dor at night in front of a house was followed by death that of the dog. When the time approaches for the newr moon to appear above the horizon young men and girls who are love stricken will hail it with feelings of mingled hope and fear. If by any mis chance they should first see the new moon by looking over their left shoulder, then good-by to all hopes of a successful issue of their affairs during the life of that moon. All are familiar with the lines: "See the new moon through the glass, the sign of trouble while it lasts." Should the reader ever happen to leave home and forget some bundle which he in- J tended to have taken, let him or her be sure to cither make the sign of the cros in sand or else sit upon a convenient horse block. Should thev return home without performing these rites to destroy the power of the Evil One, they are like ly to suffer some terrible calamity. To open and close an umbrella in a house is a sure sign of death. Perhaps the man who first said if you enter a house by one door and leave it by an other, or if you enter by a window, it will bring some evil consequences, hop:;d to scare off burglars who might I e con templating a raid upon his silverware and decorated china. Anyhow, it is a common belief. I At the breaking up of a merry crowd who have spent the evening in laughter 1 aud fun-making, should four persons in ' 1 iiil il i m tor.l, . Vi n terrr titntit .ni.i. si'-ivtju mvii vi&.i a jki iiiiui viw: their hands, there i a general shout aud the victims are assured that one or the other of them will marry soon. This is especially unpleasant iu the case of a young man who may be calling upon the fair daughter of the family with the most "innerccntcst" intentions. Another popular belief, and should it ever be expressed in your presence you may set the speaker down as country bred, is that should a tree-frog be killed his death will b3 shortly followed by rain. ''He is as cross as if he got out of bed on the wrotig side," is a c unmon ex pression. The custom of walking arm in arm may owe its origin to a belief in the olden time that if two pcr-on? were walking together and another passed be tween them, they would be disappointed in something they intended to do. The charm against this is for all par ties to say "G)od morning." Wash ington Star. A Chinese Hospital. In one of the most crowded thorough fares of the Chinese quarter of Shanghai there has stood for forty years a free native hospital mainly supported by the European community. Very strange its wards look at first to English visitors. The patients bring their own bedding, consisting of a bamboo and a wadded quilt. Those who can move about arc the only regular attendants of those who cannot. The house surgeon and dis penser is a Christian Chinaman, for thirty ycar3 connected with the hospi tal, and oue of the first converts of a mission school. Yearly about 800 pa tients pass through the wards and the projxution of deaths is s:nall. Last year there were oG and in the dispensary more than 22,000 cases were treated. From very far distances many of the poor suffering creatures come and back to their far-off homes many a healed one has carried a blessing greater than bodily healing, for we believe that nowhere, at homo or abroad, could bet ter proof be found than in the Shang hai of the benefit of combining medical and Gospel work. Daily the waiting room, seated for 300, is crowded with men, women and children, long before the dispensing hour, and daily an Eng lish missionary, as conversant with their language as his own, sets before this waiting multitude the Word of Life: "I believe," writes a Christian physician, wlio fui some ycuis inni tuu ovcrsignt or this work, "that the Chinese undergo more suffering for want of medical knowledge than any other nation in the world, lu an institution like this, al most daily under a good surgeon, may the blind receive sight, the deaf hear, the lame walk." Quiver. She Could Say II. The director of a large girls' school in French Canada, -which is patronized by many American families, tells a story of a pert New England girl, with whom the instructors had any amount of diffi culty, quite naturally, in getting her to sound the letter r. When a letter has been unpronounccd for general ions, it comes hard to the young. This New England girl had been labored with for so long a time over the sound of the r in French words that she came to re gard the instruction in this particular as a great bore; and when the director himself took her in hand one day, aud said: "Now, see here, Miss , I want you to pronounce the r for me," she put on a look of unutterable weariness. "Now, please pronounce for me an Eng lish word," he persisted, "that begins with an r, and be sure that you sound the letter." "Il-r-r-r-r-rats!" exclaimed the Amer ican girl, with a snap in her eyes. Philadelphia Press. A Hawk Drowns a Blackbird. The English paper Land and Water publishes and credits to a "local paper," a story told by a Scotch railrord laborer, who saw a hawk swoop upon a blackbird which was singing on a bush by the sidcof the Iliver Ettrick. The black bird, he says, was at once un perched and carried to the ground, struggling and screaming in the talons of his ad versary. The hawk, evidently finding considerable difficulty fn dispatching the bird, dragged it along the ground tc a shallow pool, where he put his head under water and stood on it till his victim was drowned. Fighting from Balloons. Military balloon experiments of vari ous kinds arc being tried in England off Dungencss. Thus range liiiag has been watched from a captive balloon, while a similar craft is sent aloft empty and fired at by shrapuel shell, to ascertain how near a balloon may pass to the enemy's lines without being, hit. Some capital photographs have been taken from a height of 4000 feet in a small balloon remaining only a few minutes in the air. The balloon carries an automatic camera, which produces a good view of tfi)f country beneath. Base Ingratitude. Featherly (to Dumley, who has given him a cigar) Somebody (puff) must have given you this cigar, Dumley. Dumley Yes: is it a bad one? Fert'icr y lo; it's a (puff; good one. I Puck. i No, Thank You, Tom." They met, when they were girl and boy, j Going to the school one day, j And, "Won't you take my peg-top. dearf Was all that he could say. I She bit her little pinafore, Close to his side she came; j She whispered, "No, no, thank you, Tom," But took it all the same. ! They met ono day, the self-same way. When ten swift years had flown; Ho said, "I've nothing but my heart, But that is yours alone. And won't you take iny heart f he said, And called her by her name; She blushed and said, "No, thank you, Tom," But took it all the same. And twenty, thirty, forty years Have brought them care and joy; She has the little peg-top still He gave her when a boy. "I've had no wealth, sweet wife," says he, "I've never brought you fame;" She whispers, "No! no, thank you, Tom, You'vo loved me all the same!" IF. E. Weatherley. HUMOROUS. The two-legged crank is the hardea to turn. It would seem natural for a carpentei to have a lumbering gait. "All But" is the title of a story Iv Hose Terry Cooke. Probably thchiston of a billy goat. Curiously enough the man who is al ways in a pickle doesn't preserve his tcm per worth a cent. A Canadian farmer has a calf whicl eats turkey whenever it gets a chance. The carnivorous bovine should bi named "The Czar." Edison has invented a graphophoni whose voice is clear and distinct. Mcr with well regulated wives don't need any of these new-fangled things. "Why is a small boy like a woman?' said a certain man to his troublesonn wife. No response. "Because he wil: make a man grown," said the conun drumist. Lady of the house (urging companj to eat) Please help yourselves. D( just as you would in your own house. I am always so glad when my friends are at homo. "What are chilled ploughs, papa?' asked the little son of an agriculture professor. "Oh, my son," was the wist reply, "tLey arc ploughs which hav SlUuU uul iu tlie fUlTOH all niutu. "My dear old friend, how were yot lblc to acquire such an immense for tune?" "By a very simple method. ' "What method was that?' "Wheal was poor I made out that I was rich, ind when I got rich I made out that 1 was poor." After the Battle. The aspect of troops of all arms ol the service, writes Colonel J. B. Gandol fo, in St. Louis Globe -Democrat, is verj different in battle from the trim and neat parade appearance, but nowhere is this difference so marked as in the ar tillery. It was always most interesting to me to watch a battery going into ac tion. The artillerymen were very careful at all times to dress strictly in accordance with regulations and when a battery took position every cannoncci looked as if he had just prepared him self for inspection. Nothing could be neater and more uniform than their ap pearance. But this did not last long. At the fire began to get hot a jacket here and there would be thrown off; next the collars would go, and often the shirts. The men were soon bathed ic perspiration, which they would hastilj brush off with their powder-blackcnec hands, leaving great marks wherever they touched themselves. When the men began to fall and were carried tc the rear by their comrades, blood stains were added to the powder marks, and at the close of the light the artillerymen, so remarkable for their fine appearance at its opening, presented the most hor rible spectacle that can be imagined. But they soon removed all trace of the fray, and by the next day were as clean and neat as ever. Fat? as Tonic?. Fats, especially tho.se wdiich aro ol easy digestion, like cod liver oil and sweet cream, are also essential to the : well-being of the nervous system. The peculiar substance ncurinc found in ; all nervous structures contains fat as an ! essential constituent. It is remarkable that most "nervous" individuals have a strong aversion to fats as articles of diet. i This is extremely unfortunate, for the : amission of fats and oils from the diet tends to not only continue the nervous ness, but to increase the irritability and weakness. Cod liver oil is a most valu able medicine in such cases, because it is already partly digested by admixture with the bile secreted by the liver of the fish, and thus rendered still more easy Df absorption. The labor of digestion is thus partly taken away from the tasks to be performed by the invalid. Of course, the fishy odor is objectionable at first, j but this is generally easily overcome by 'continuing its use for a short time. ' There are a few preparations on the mar ket in which oil of some kind has been .partially digested by admixture with ' pancrc dine. Emulsions thus made arc ' palntahlc but much more expensive than 1 the crude oi!. Globe-Democrat,

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