!)c l)att)am ftecorb. it. a. joistdcxn, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, She (Chatham ftecor&I I M ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR Strictly in Advance. Tho Last Kiss. ! I put the half -written poem, While tbe pen idly trailed in my hand, W rites on, "Had I words to complete it, Who'd read it, or who'd understand P ut the little 1 are feet on the stairway. And the faint, mothered laugh in the hall, Ami the eerie-low lisp on the silence, Try up to me ovr it nil. S 1 1 cathered it up where was broken The tear-faded thread of my theme, TV.IiHS h,w "s one nSnt I"sa writing, A fairy broke in on my dream A litile inquisitive fairy jl v ,.wn !i tle girl, with the gold )f the suu in her hair, and the dewy r.l H' oyis of the fairies of old. rv.'.-- tl)t tie ir little girl that 1 scoldod Wor was it a moment like this," "when she knew I was busy, To come romping in for a kiss me rowdying up from her mother And clam ring there at my knee For 'one 'ittle kiss for my dolly And one 'ittle uzzer for raef God pity the heart that repelled her And the cold hand that turned her avrayl And take from the lips that denied her This answerless praj-er of to-day! Take, Lord, from my memory forever That pitiful sob of despair, An 1 the patter an 1 trip of the bare little feet And the one piercing cry on the stair! I put by the half-written poem. While the peu idly trailed in my hand. Write on, "Had I words to complete it, Who'd read it or who'd understand?' But the little bare feet on the ttairway, And the faint smothered laugh in the hall, Anil the eerie-low lisp on the silence, Cry up to me over it all. James Whitcomb Riley. THE ROGUES OF INDIA. Many won J erf ul things have been v. :ittca about th3 jugglers of India, but t. ings still more wonderful could be written about the thieves. I have lived i i Bombay, Madras, Calcutta, and Ran goon, and have been knowing to some - rations of th:sc gentry which seemed . .credible. Every foreigner is considered fair i,-.ime by the natives. While there are plenty who will not rob him by force, there is none who will not swindle him if it can be done. Oa three different occasions, in different hotels, I sont out ly waiters to make purchase or get money changed. In each instance they T in away, although in no case was the t;-.n over a dollar, and in every caso the r.-.itivc ekur r.vuvc employment ia order t.) beit r.:e. It couldn't have been the i lea of gaia so much as tho idea of get ting ahead of a foreigner. While there h no p)itivo secu-ity from thieves ia I xlii, th 'rc is partial s;curity in hiring a chowkadar. This fellow is a thief from a way back. He is kuown to be, :i!id he is employed on this account. If yon pay him so that he can afford to be h xu st, ho will keep other thieves away. It is a point of honor with the fraternity not to steal from any one employing a chowkadar. His services are a species of blackmail, but you must either pay him or be at the mercy of the slickest, slyest set of rascals on earth. At Bombay I had a bungalow with a i E lglhh artillery Captain on leave of absence. As he had with him two ser vants whom he felt he could trust, wo determined not to employ a chowkadar. Several called to offer their services, and all seemed greatly surprised and annoyed when scat off. One of the fellows was an old mm with a foxy look, and he protested to tho Captaia. "I r.m a great thief, but too sharp for the officers, who have never yet laid hands on me. I. know all the thieves, and if I am with you no one will dare steal from you." "And if we do not employ you?'1 'Yen will surely be robbed." "Weil, wo shall try to get along without you, and if thievjs come, some one may get killed." The old man went away with a look f f running on his face, and we had no doubt that he would be among the first to seek to lay hands on our goods. There were but three rooms to our I ungalow a parlor, kitchen, and bed room. The Captain and myself occupied the parlor as a sitting room, dining room and bedroom, while the cook and his fellow servant occupied the other two. We kept but little money by us and had but few goods. The Captain was experimenting a little with a new x plosive, and I was making a report to the home Government on the various vegetable poisons of that peninsular. We therefore had plenty of leisure to plan for our protection a id watch all suspects. Oa the second day after the sly old man was sent away, a lame native woman, leading a boy about 4 years of ge, sent in word by the servant that 'he wanted to see the Captain on im portant business. The pair were ad mitted, and she began making inquiries "iout her husband, who she said was a member of the Captain's command. She :r; vc the name of a native known to the lUcer, and asked so many questions that she took up fifteen minutes' time. I was not much interested in her story, I ut was in the actions of the child. No ooncr did she let go of his hand than he began running about to inspect tilings. We saw afterward how hard -he tried to draw all our attention to herself. The Captain mid no heed to the A j w child; but presently, as I VOL. X. watched, I saw the little sharer grab something from a stand. lis then returned to his mother and took her hand. After a moment I re membered that ray field glasses rested on the stand, and as I rose up to look for them they werp not to be seen. I went over to the child, and notwith standing the fact that he shrank away and began to cry, as if scared at me, I picked him up and gavo him a shake. The glasses fell to the door from the folds of a cloth about his waist, anl with them three spoons which ho had stolen in the kitchen. He ran away as I put him down, and the woman hurried after him. It was '& put-up job to pilfer from us, and, while the child did not look more than four years of age, we afterward learned that he was over ten. In India everybody sleeps during the middle of the day. That is, everybody should. About a week after the occurrence related above, the Captain dim 3d into a hammock under the ve randa about 11 o'clock one forenoon for a nap. I should have climbed into another, but I had some letters to get off that day, and I removed coat and vest and sat down to a table in a corner of our room. The window before me was up, but a li;ht bamboo shade was down to keep the sun out. Tho captain had had plenty of time to go to sleep when I happened to look out through the slats of the blind. While I saw notninsr, i leit mat something was wrong, and I softly ro3C up and went to the door opening out oa the veranda. This door was, of course, wide open. My feet were in slippers, and I made not tho least noise as I reached the door. The vcrauda was about 20 feet long, and tho Captain's hammock was slung at the centre. I peered cautiously out, and I saw the figure of the sly old man right under the ham mock. His back was towards me, but I determined to see what he would do, and then capture him if I could. As looked he slowly rose up on the Captain's lo.'t, cocked his ears to listen, and then his deft black fingers began search of the sleeping man's pockets. I braced myself, took a full breath, and was on him at a bound. I seized him j firmly by the body, but he sank down, wriggled two or three times, and next minute he w.u goac, upsotting me by grasping my feet, a id heaving away as he went. It did not seem that he had been at work over tcu seconds when I grabbed him, and yet in that time he had extracted the Captain's watch and wallet, and several other articles. All were left behind, but the thief had dis appeared like a shadow. Perhaps the best way would have been to give in and employ a chowkadar but we were both determine 1 not to be bulldozed into it. All portable articles not in hourly use were put into a strong wooden chest and kept under lock and key and both of u? wero on the watch for any new movmnt. A couple of weeks had passed and we were begin ning to feel safe, when tho fellows at tempted a very bold game. A juggler came to the veranda an 1 began to per form and we both went out. While the room was left alone, the thieves there were three of them came through tho garden .alongside the house and cut a hole through the side exactly back of tho chest. Tho captaii happened to look in jut as the box was being moved and with a couple of bounds he crossed ths room and seizjd one of the handles. I could not realize the situa tion until the thieve had pulled the chest half way out, and by the time I had got around the bungalow they had disappeared. How they could have lo cated the chest so exactly was a mystery to u, as it had been moved several feet only the night before. They cut neither to the right nor the left, but exactly back of it, and the space was only an inch wider than tho chest. The next move created a sensation in Bombay. Opposite our bungalow, which was on a side street, was one be longing to a native a known thief. The fraternity had somehow got the idea that we had a great pile of money hidden in our bungalow, and that the Captain was making gold nuggets by the wholesale. He was, as I said, ex perimenting with a new explosive, an'd this probably started the idea. The ex plosive was cither dynamite or some thing very near it One day, after the Captain had been fussing around in tho front yard for half an hour, and while he was reading on the veranda, there was a terrible explosion. It seemed as if our house was lifted a foot high, and everything inside was thrown into con fusion as it settled back. It was an explosion which was felt for half a mile arouud, and when we got out doors we found a hole in our front yard into which a couple of bullocks could have been dumped. That wasn't alb had the low, however. A big ditch been opened straight acros street to the other bunga and the bruised and battered bodies of three natives were thrown out within thirty feet of the big hole. Ii took us some little time to figure out what had occurred. The sly old man and his pah had dug a tunnel from the native bungalow to within three feet of ours. It was intended to pass under PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, FEBRUARY 23, 1888. the house and break ground inside. there being no floors in our place. The explosion, which took place in an iron kettle, was almost over the tunnel) and tho force was mainly downward. The concussion followed along the diteh and blew the roof eff tho native bungalow. The thieves were either creeping for ward or backward in the tunnel, and death came to them so quickly that they never knew what hurt them. Next morning a native priest, accom panied by a scribe, called upon m to se cure our account of the affair. The Captain had explained matters to the authorities, and there had been no in quest. The priest said that the sly old man had been one of his most devoted followers, and as he was a person of considerable importance in Nagpoor, where he had many relatives, an account of his death was to be published in the native language. The visit was made us at an early hour in the morning, while everything was lying around loose, and the two men had scarcely left the house when we missed the field glasses, a pocket compass, a pair of shoes, and two or three other particles. A native detective assured us that the priest and scribe were two notorious thieves, who had come in that disguise to get even with us. I was bitten by a poisonous snake at Bengalore, and for several weeks was unable to leave my bed. While out of danger after the first two or three days, enough of the poison circulated through my system to keep me weak and feverish for a long time. While lying on my bed on my right side I could look out on an extensive back yard. Thera was a path running down to a summer house, and beyond the summer house was a thicket and a ravine. Midway between the bungalow and the summer house, and off to the left of tho path, were tho stables. One forenoon as I lay looking out oa this yard, I saw an al most naked native come out of the thicket, glide up the path and turn into the stables. I knew from his actions that he was a thief, but the hand bell had been accidentally removed beyond my reach, and I could not call loud enougn in my weaK state to give an alarm. There were three servant at the stables, but it turned out that they were Gramblin-T and deeply interested. The thijf entered the buildings and stole two suits of clothing and some horse goods, and went back down the path with the bundle on his back. The Captain was raving angry over the loss, as he had been bothered a great deal with thieves, and after dinner we had a consultation. He Avcnt to a friend and borrowed a steel trap which had once been sent for and captured a tiger. It was larger than the bear traps seen in this country, requiring the services of two men and a lever to set it. The stable men were sent away on errands, and, assisted by a corporal from the barracks, the Captain set the trap ia the centre of the path, between the summer house and the stables. An excavation was made to sink it out of sight, and then dirt and leaves were scattered over the spot The Captain's family was away, and the stable men never went beyond their quarters. If anybody fell into the trap it would be some native who had no business in the grounds. The loss of the stable goods had not been re ported to the police, and the thiof was not alarmed. He might not make another visit to the place, but it was hoped he would. There was a stout chain attached to the trap, and this led to a small tree and was made fast with a padlock. It was nearly a week before anything unusual occurred. A bell had been fixed in the housekeeper's room, with a cord running to the head of my bed, and it was arranged that when I gave a certain signal she was to run to the kitchen and send a native after the Captain, providing he was not at home. That signal would mean game in the trap. If any one came at night, all the people would be at home, and could do as directed by the Captain. I could not leave my room, and must certainly be a good sentinel if awako. If asleep, any noise out of routine would arouse me. The Captain did not come home, after leaving in the morning, until 1 o'clock. We had be gun to despair of luck in trapping a thief, when, one morning about 10 o'clock, ju3t after I had opened my eyes from a nap lasting half an hour, I saw the head of a native as he peered from behind the summer house. It was a thief spying out the land. I got hold of the bell cord, but waited to see what the fellow would do. In two or three minutes he stepped out in full sight, and I was quite sure he was the same who came before. Ho came boldly up the path, as if bent on an errand, and walked directly over the trap. I was so astonished that I forgot to ring until he had turned into the stables. The housekeeper had gone to the kitchen and was wrangling with the cook, and so my signal was unheard. The fellow was out of my sight seven or eight minutes, and when he reappeared he had a sack of horse feed on his shoulders. He hid caught the stable men napping again. I rang and rang, but no one came. He went dow the path bent over and seeming to glide, Ay v but as he reachod the trap the dirt and leaves flow in a shower, the fellow ieomed to spring into the air, and next instant I saw that ho Was fast in the jaws Ho pitched forward, and I could see his right ankle was held in the vise. Ho quickly scrambled tip, however, looked sharply around him, and then uttered a low whistle. Inside of thirty seconds four natives came from the thicket to assist him. The trap puzzled thorn. If they had ever seen one before, they did not know how to manage the springs. The prisoner must have been in terrible agony, lor the teeth, wenf to the bone oa each side of his leg; but he never brought a groan. While the five were consulting I rang again, and this time the housekeeper came and sent for the Captain. Long enough before he came the affair was ended. When the men found they could not liberate the pris. oner they designed to cut his leg off above the trap. He refused to agree, as it would doubtless have bocn the death of him. They had nothing with which to break the chain or lock, and, doubt less fearing that the prisoner would peach on the gang, the four plunged their knives into him and ran away. By the time the Captain got home the man was dead. New York Sun. The Use of Water at Meals. Opinions differ as to the effect of the free ingestion of water at meal times, but the view most generally received is probably that it dilutes the gastric juice and so retards digestion. Apart from the fact that a moderate delay in the process is by no means a disadvan tage, as Sir William Roberts has shown in his explanation of the popularity of tea and coffee, it is more than doubtful whether any such effect is in reality produced. Wrhcn ingested during meals, water may do good by washing out the digested food and by exposing the undigested part more thoroughly to the action of the digestive ferments. Pepsin is a catalyptic body, and a given qu rtity will v r'.c almoit indefinitely provided the peptones are removed as they are formed. Good effects of water, drunk freely before meals, has, however, another beneficial result it , washes away the mucus which is ste4 .'by the mucus membrane during the intervals of repose, and favor3 peristalsis of the whole all mentary tract. The membrane thus cleansed is in a much better condition to receive food and convert it into solu ble compounds. Tho accumulation of mucus is specially well marked in the morning, when the gastric walls are covered with a thick, tenacious layer. Food entering the stomach at this time wili become covered with this tenacious coating, which for a timo protects it from the action of the gastric ferments, and so retards digestion. The tubular contracted stomach, with its puckered mucus liniag and viscid contents, a nor mal condition in the morning before breakfast, is not suitable to receive food. Exercise b fore partaking of a meal stimulates the circulation of the blood and facilitates the flow of blood through the vessels. A glass of water washes cut the mucu5", partially distends the stomach, wakes up peristalsis, and prepares tho alimentary canal for the morning meal. Observation has shown that non-irritating liquids pass directly through the "tubular" stomach, and even if food be present they only mix with it to a slight extent. According to Dr. L?u, who has made this subject a special study, cold water should be given to persons who havo sufficient vi tality to react and hot water to others. In chronic gastric catarrh it is extremely beneficial to drink warm or hot water before meals, and salt is said in most cases to add to the good effect pro duced. British Medical Journal, A Watch Without Hands. The watch without' hands which has recently been brought before the public is simply a watch with ordinary wheel work in which the intermediate teeth are wanting and which gear every min ute and hour only. The contrivance, though admitted to possess some in con veniences, is on the other hand claimed to present some genuine preferences over tho ordinary make. Thus, th3 construction not only allows the reading to be accurate, but also permits of esti mating the time that separates each passim? minute. Ineieisnot only an optical signal given, but also an acous tic one, since at every change of figure the car pcrc eives a slight sound, and conseauentlv it becomes useless for one to examine his watch in order to meas ure a eriven interval of time a feature of special value to engineers, physi cians, officers, travelers and observers. The experimenter knows exactly when a minute beerins and ends. fNew York Sun. - - Fashion Tut Up the Price. Turquoise is the rage this season, and jewelers who had seen stocks of theso gems run down to prices almost nominal blessed fashion when it set its seal of approval on these pretty bits of blue. A year or two ago little turquoises could be bought as low as $1. To-day the 0 same stones are worth from $12 to $15, So says a well-known Boston jeweler. CHILDREN COLUMN. Two little Birds in Sine. Two little birdies all in blue. Airily flitted the garden through (Pink blows the brier in summer weather.) And they could whistle a rondel true, Which all of the neighbors loved and knew, j (rink blows the brier in summer weather., . Now, through the garden, the north Whii goes, And the bush is bent to the ground with snows, (Back turns the brier in winter weather.) Where are the little blue birds who knows! And where, oh, where is the pink briar rosel (Ah, sweet things come and depart together. M. E. Wilkins in Wide Awake. Hie Wiggles of WakvfnlneM. Some expressions are all tho more forcible for having sprung spontaneously into existence without the fostering aid of gr ;mmar. Lillian had an uncomfort able way of waking before light, and expecting the family to rise with her at what they considered an unbearably early hour. "Lillian, you must lie still and try to sleep," said her mother one morning, when this early bird began to chirp. Til try," sail the child, and so she did, but it was to no purpose. In five minutes she was sitting up in bed play ing with her little pink toes. This time her mother, growing impatient, as sleepy poople have been known to do, sum marily extinguished her under the bed clothe, saying, in despair, "Lillian, I told you to try once more to go to sleep 1'' "I know it, mamma," said truthful Lillian, "and I did try, but the wake wiggles in me so I can't keep still ! ' I Youth's Companion. Short Sermons for Children. Most boys and girls do not like ser mons they say that th y are too long for their highnesses. Perhaps they may like these short sermons. They will give food to thiak over, and must not be read too hastily. A Swedish boy fell out of the win dow and was bvily hurt, but, with clenched lips, h3 kept back the cry of pain. Tho king, Gustavus Adolphus, who saw him fall, prophesied that that b')j would make a man for an emergency. And so ho did, for ho became the famous Gen. Bauer. A boy used to crush tho flowers to ct their color, and painted the white side of hii father's cottase in Tyrol with all sorts of pictures, which the mountaineers gazed at as wonderful. Ho was the great artist Titian. A German boy was reiding a blood-and-thun ler novel. Right in the midst of it he said to himself: ''Now, this will never do. I get too much excited over it I can't study so wil after it So here goes!" and he 11 i tho book out into the river. He was Fchtc, the great German philosopher. Do you know whit these little sermons mean? Wny, simply this, that in boy hood and girlhood arc shown the traits for good or evil that make the man or woman good or not. Jewish Messen ger. Helen and Baby. "What is baby thinking about?'' asked grandma, smiling across the breakfast table at the tiny girl, who was forgetting her oatmeal and cream, while her spoon rested upon the rim of her plate, and her blue eyes were gazing into vacancy. 4 'She is thinking about God," said Helen. Five-year-old Helen never al lowed that any one was thinking of trivial matters. "No, I am not," said Baby Louise; "I am thinking about grandma. I don't want to have her go away to stay a month; for what if I should have a birfday while she is gone?'' At this tho children all laughed, for it was only a week since baby's birth day, when there had been a party, with two two-year-old guests, and a little cake, with two wax tapers, and it had been the sweetest little affair that ever was seen. "Why did you not let grandma sup pose you were thinking about God?" said Holen, after they had quieted down after their laugh. "Grandma loves to have us think about him, and how good He is to us. " "'Cause I wasn't, and it wouldn't have been the trufe," said baby. "That is light, darling," commended grandma. "Always tell the truth, and then God will love you, o. cause you are doing right." A few days later Helen was telling one of her mamma's friends about the birthday party, that was still consid ered an event of note by the children of the family. " Oh, Aunt Mary brought a great big cake, and seventeen great big wax candles in it." "njlen," interrupted baby, wV was standing by, 'I am thiuking about God now, but grandma isn't here to b glad." Helen's great gray eyes opened very wide for a moment, then she said, slowly: "If grandma was here, she would say, Helen's memory seems to be failing as she gets older.'" Harper's i'oung people. NO. 25. PEKIN. A Vivid Pen Picture of the Great Chinese City. ftg Dirty Streets, Queer Shops, and Emperor.8 paiace. When Sir Henry Parkes returned to Pekin he said he had come back to "dust, dirt and disdain;'' and most travelers will find this sentence, sweep ing though it may be, rather lacking in D's than otherwise. However much Pekin may be described, its condition would still remain inconceivable to those who have not seen it; all the filth thrown into the roadway a mixture of mud and abominations, in the ruts in which the springless cart-wheels are forever sticking! You get along Curio street supposed by some people to be the most beautiful in China by walking along the little bits of crumbling ground in front of each shop, and then swinging yourself around tho wooden pillar that supports the roof, so as to avoid getting soiled by the quagmire below. The shop fronts are of wondrous carved wood ; highly gilded signs hang out into the street; wonderful beams with curved cads project across the roadway, and strings from which dangle red feathers. But I must say that the last thing I am struck with is the magnificence of the scene. The shops arc oleasant enough, une goes into a back parlor, set out like a miniature museum; through that a courtyard; then an inner sanctum not overcrowded with pretty things, aud with plenty of chair3. But the prices of the curios are ex orbitant; so that one can only be glad that Pekin shopkeepers bow and smile as politely on non-buyers as on custom ers. Indeed, it is customary for them to send their wares on inspection to the different homes day after day. "Num ber one thing I six dollars," say thoy. Reply unwarily with "Half a dollar," and it is yours ; whereupon you feel sure at once the thin? is no real curio at all and worth nothing. This bargaining is a great amusement each day after break fast. Pekin furs are lovely, and there are lovely white feather-like Thibetan sheepskins, red-bicked Mongolian squir rels, and, mo3t fa cinating of all, cinna mon or crcarn-colored fox skins, so soft that they could almost be passed through the traditional ring. The great sights of Pekia are behind closed gates at present. Sometimes some arc open; othors never. AVc go to the clock tower; a wattle fence is hur riedly erected across the opening as we approach. We go to the examination hall sometimes open, but shut to lay. Of course you can go again, if you liked the smells last time. It ii adjoining the observatory; where the carved bronzj supports of the instruments weird dragons chained to mountains lest they should escape, redundant foliage, etc. deserve to be one of the wonders of the world. I am glad to have seen them; I should like to see them again. But, oh dear! the smells! and the man with loathsome sores and the hideous voice, who wants to try gentlemen's cigars for them and to touch ladies' dressci, who fights with strangers for a larger tip when he ha3 more than enough already. That man is of a piece withPeh.in. The outside of the emperor's palace all that any European has ever seen of it since the days of Marco Polo is ideal, a fairy palaco. High walls shut in the forbidden city; a moat surrounds them ; and then there are the glistening yellow tiles, tho roofs built by the old Mongols in imitation of their tents. Then there is the green hill with its trees, and palace roofs climbing up it. The entrances are of deep blue, bright green, golden dragoned, with here and there a touch of vermilion. The sky is blue above, the sun shines, and there ia the roadway sits a child stark naked, its face so dirty that it i3 impossible to seo what it is like, its head misshapen with disease. No wonder the present emperor never cares to come outride, and is supposed never to have done so. The world inside must be far more de lightful, if it matches with those glitter ing fairy roofs. St. James Budget Superstitious Indians. Lieutenant Cushing says that the Zuni Indians invest everything med in their daily life with a spirit of its own. A jar has its life and death and the twanging sound it gives forth upon breaking, es pecially when in tho oven, is the cry of the departing so'iL The lieutenant in order to learn the ways of the Zuai, sat down among the women who were turn ing pottery and imitated their work, ne began to whistle, when they threw up their hands in dismay and cried to him to cease. Any noi3e would excite the jar's spirit and cause it to break when in the oven. They always paint a band about the rim of a vessel, outside if it is a water jar and inside if it i3 iitendf d for cooking. But this band is never 'omplete, as thi3 would not. allow the spirit to escape when the jar dies. All the jars found in ancient Los Mucrtos ve banded, sometimes in three or four iolors, but the ring is never unbroken. Boston Journal, BATES .OF 7 ' ADVERTISING One square, one insertion - $1.00 One square, two insertions"- - 1.50 One square, one month - 259 For larger advertisements liberal con tracts will be made. Make Me a Song. Out of the silence make me a song, Beautiful, sad and soft and low: Iiet th.j loveliest music sound along Anu wing each note with wail of woe, Dim and drear; As hope's last tear Out of tbe silence make me a hymn . Whose sounds are shadows soft and dim. - Out of the stillness in your heart A thousand songs are sleeping there Make me but one, thou child of art. The song of a hope in a last despair, Dark and low, A chant of woe; Out of the stillness, tone by tone, Soft as a snowflake, wild as a moan. Out of the dark recesses flash me a song, Brightly dark and darkly bright; Let it sweep as a love-star sweeps along The mystical shadows of the night, Siug it sweet, Where nothing is drear, or dark, or dim, And earth songs melt into heaven's hymn. Father Ryan. HUMOROUS. Needs signal ability Man at railway crossing. Impressions of America Footprints in the snow. Wisely improving the present Sail ing a duplicate gift. It tikes a great deal of pluck to get the feathers off a live goose. 1888 is but little over a fraction of time, anyhow one and three eights. "Give me a dude egg, please," said the boarder. "A dude egg? What is that ?" "A fresh one." The friquent changes in the Cabinets of Europe lead one to believe that the Ministers are Methodists. A physician says: "If a child doef not thriv-i on fresh milk, boil it." This is too severe. Why not whip it? It has been averred that a lady with a diamond ring will scratch her no3e in a given period four times as often a3 other women. He (at a very late hour, with deep tenderness) How can I leave thee? She Really, Mr. Stayer, I can't tell you. I wish to heaven I could. A young lady recently presented her lover with an elaborately constructed penwiper, and wras astonished the fol lowing Sunday to see him come into church wearing it as a Cravat. Two young writers wero talking of iheir hopes, their ambitions. ' Tf I have ftot made a reputation Ly the- time I'm thirty I shall blow my brains out," as serted one. "My dear boy," replied the other, "you are as goo . I as dead." The most novel complaint of impure milk reported is that of a London boy, boarded out under the poor-law regu lation, who reported that the milk givjn him out of town, instead of being taken out of clean tins, had been squeezed out of a nasty cow, and he "seed 'em a-do-ing it" A teacher noticing that upon an cx aminatioi paper the Isthmus of Panama was every time spel ed "Panamaugh," was curiou to know the name of tho au thor of such extraordinary spelling, and turning to tho head of the previous page, found tho child's name to be Kitio Hummcbauf'h. Skill of Ancient Builders. A personal inspection of the pyramids cf Egypt, made by a quarry-owner who spent some timo recently on the Nile, has led him to the conclusion that the old Egyptians were better builders than those of the present day. He states that there are blocks of stone in the pyramids which r weigh threo or four Ume3 as much as the obelisk on the em bankment. He saw a stone vho?c esti mated weight was 880 ton?. But then the builders of the pyramids counted human labor lightly. They had great masses of subjects upon whom to draw, and most of their work was done by sheer manual labor anl force. Thero are stones in the pyramids thirty feet in length which fit so closely together that a penknife may be run over the surf acj without discovering the break between them. They are not laii with mortar, either. There is no machinery so per fect that it will make two surfaces thirty feet in length which will meet together in unison as these stones in the pyramids meet It is supposed that they were rubbed backward and forward upon each other until tho surfaces were as similited. -London Iron. An African Mockin? Bird. A Kiiffir vanished and groans were heard. He was searched for without result, but on the following night groans were still heard. The search continued and the man was found mur dered. His murderer was arrested and executed, but the groans still continued, to the dismay of their auditors. At last they were traced to a mocking bird. That bird alone of livings things had seen the deed of blood, and now from day to day reproduced the piteous moaning of its victim. Saturday Re view. Speaking from Experience. "Does your mother wear felt slipper-?" asked an old lady of a little boy where she was visiting. "Yes, ma'am, she do. I've felt 'em," answered the small boy, significantly. Detroit Free Press. - 9 1

Page Text

This is the computer-generated OCR text representation of this newspaper page. It may be empty, if no text could be automatically recognized. This data is also available in Plain Text and XML formats.

Return to page view