Cljr Cljatljam Eccorb. II. .A- TOIVX0, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, the Chatham ttctori -5 RATES IP II or AyAyy Ay y ADVERTISING One square, one insertion- $1.00 One square, two insertions-- - 1.50 One square, one month - 250 For larger advertisements liberal coir tracts will -be made. ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR Strictly "n Advance. vol. x. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, MARCH 22, 1888. NO. 29. If iW JJ yy .iJ) vy vv vy The Kettle on the Crane. How main' pleasant pictures does the recol lection bring Of home an 1 bygone pleasures that around the fireside cling! "Vhit 1 e uler reminiscences come thronging (. ;i the brain, "U Ik !i i;i ib cams I hear the singing at the kettle on the crane Hear it singing, singing, singing, Loud and merry, fast and slow; Heir it murmur, murmur, murmur, Soft, end low. Tliere's' th" 1 ror.d, wide c.pen chimney, with it-; riring, crackling fire, iv.u'.t i p w"'t lg of gen'rous sizj to make th - ll.m oi leap higher; A:ul mar. the waiting table stands, spread I nuntit'ul and plain, ! cheerily the kettle sings and sings n; -k t l.o civ. no, Hear it singing, singing, singing, l.i u land merry, f st and slow; Hear it murmur, murmur, murmur, Holt and lew. t; rand mother in the comer sits and softly to an 1 fro S!ie i cks. and dreams of friends and scenes in d ys of long ago; Her face grow sw.'t and tender as the past comes Lack tg iin, "While listening to the singing of the kettle u the crane. Hear it singing, singing, singing, Lou. I find merry, fast and slow; Hear it murmur, murmur, murmur, Soft and IjW. 1 see the children enpr, as with gleeful lauh and call They watch the dancing pictures of the shadows on the wall, And hear the b iby cooing to the mother's low refrain That follows tLe soft m isic of the kettle oa tLe crane. Hear it finding. hinging, singing, Loud and merry, fast and slow; Hear it murmur, murmur, murmur, Soft and low. And. ere the evening hour is done, with lingering step and slow, A youth ai:d uniling maidea come, and in the cullers glow "L r al the luture story, and they see a wedding train. And i I!s chi re with the singing of the kettle on the crane, Hear it singing, sinking, 6ingi:ig, Loud and merry, fast and slow; Hear it murmur, murmur, murmur, Soft and low. The. precious ol 1-time memories, they hold in? like a spell The ckx-k upon the mantel, where I learned the time to tell; The simple, homely furniture, the keepsakes few : n 1 plain, And ill? murmuring of rh? kettle as it hung ui- n the crane. lb-ar it ringing, singing, singing, L ud and worry, fast and slow; Ik-sr it murmur, murmur, murmur, Soft and low. Oh : thc-iv's Lli- supreme in honr?, when its joy. are pure aud sweat, A u l life's most sacred memories around the hoarthto:i" meet, A i I the tendered thoughts and s iddest ones r-iiie b irne upon th. strain ( K the singing of the kettle as i; hung upon the crane. Hear it singing, singing, singing, Loud and merry, fast and slow; Hear it murmur, murmur, murmur, Soft and low. Barbara Deane, RICHARD OGDEN'S DUTY Mr. Wagner wa9 superintendent of the great Bessemer Steel "Works ia Penrsylvania. One morning, about ten yean ao, a youig man came into lii oflicj "whom he rccog.niz d s Richard Ogden, assistant book-keeper ia a Phila delphia importing firm. Mr. Wagner shook hands with him hc.irti y. He had known 0;jdcn since he was a hoy, end li'.tcd hi.n thoroughly, lie was a kccn-3jcd, dogged y honest fel low, and, unlike most young men, al ways hmd at work. II j had married luteiy, too. Mr. Wagner ha I been at his little homo and seen the wife and hnby. ''Ilillo, Ogdsa! How came you here? lu the busy seasoD, too?" "It is not bmy for me, sir,'' said Og l;n, gravely; I m discharged. Th t:r.m, like all other Philadelphia firms, fnnd it nece-:s;:ry to lessen expenses, w:d di-thirgcd one-fourth cf their men. I wa the youngest look-keeper, and ha I to go of course." "That is Lad-bal." (It was in the lays when ths hard timet were hardest.) What are you going to do, Richard?" 'lean find nothing to do ia Phila delphia. There are twenty thouan 1 r?n thtrc leo'dng for work. I came to ak you for it." "-Me? My dear boy, cur book-keepers hnve been with us for yari!" Richard laughed. ''I did not come to r ust them from their desks, Mr. Wagner. I do rot hopi to get any work for my head. I must put my hinds to it now. Is there no plac ia t!u mi.l for mcl ' "Among the hands? You do not mean lint, Ogden? "Ye, I do," coloring slightly. "A man is a man, no matter how he cf.r:r Ii'h bread. I cannot afford to be i ile . w:e!. With the wages which you p y .Vfur puddlers or firemen, I can support hry and the boy in this village, wher Nving h so cheap, at leat until time T.'nd." "Very xvc my lad," aid 3Ir. Wag- hr-", after a mom.-nt's hesitation, 'yu iire light. I'll find a place for y.u"t - borrow. Ry the way, you ined to have a -ood deal of knowledge of chemistry, vh? 4,Yts, I thought of t saching it after I left colbge." "Very gcod; I II put you near Mr. Fciri . Hj can probably give you a few hints which may be useful; a son ef Judgo Ferri ycu know. E lucated as a raining engineer; but ha has gono iato the works, like any poor lad, to woik his way to a practical knowledge of the business. Ho has charge of ths convjitcr," he added, with a tone of respect, to which Ojjdcn, never having heard of the converter, listened with ia diflwTcaca. The next morning Ogden, in a work man's clothe, i resected himself at the office, and Mr. Wagner himself took him into the mill and gavo him his work, introducing him to Mr. Ferris in the tone which b.3 would me in speaking of an equal The familiarity wa9 kindly me nt, but injudicious. "Who's that young cub old Wagner's making much ol ? said Jake Crawford to the man r.t the coal heap beside him. "Dunno; one of his pets, I rcckoa." Jake was one of the most drunken and vicious- men ia the works. He scanned Ogden's gentlemanly bearing and white hands with a scowl of coa tempt, 'which changed to a positive glare when Mr. Wagner shook hands with him saying, ' Good-by, my lad, and good luck !' ' From that time Jake set down the young fellow as hi enemy, whom he was bound to overturn. Ogden pres ently noticed that this man shovel him unnecessarily when he passed him in the throng, and swore at him under his breath, but, supposing him to be a drunken fellow, thought no more about it. His indifference but enraged Craw ford the more. Poor RicharJ, whom he met on Sundays dressed like a gen tleman, going with hi wife to church, became in his eyes the embodiment of ' the "bloated aristocrats" whom he hated so heartily. 'Til fix his lordship for life ! he said every day, and watched his chance to do it. Ferris, on the contrary, as Mr. Wagner had foreseen, was attracted to the yeung man, and gave him work near to him, frequently explaining the processes to him. Oden's previous knowledge of chemistry made him an intelligent hearer. The ' converter," of which Mr. Ferris had charge, is an enormous pot ia which the molten metal aad carbon is subject-d to the force ot a terrific blast by which the carbon is dis-ipated. At ths in stant when the right amount is left, the huc vessel is ov.rturned into a pit, where it flows into tubes prepared for ir. Furris's duty was to watch the lurid fl imes of the metal, and when, by the change in their tiut, he sawthe moment had com, to press oa a levjr which, by hydraulic machinery, overturned the vast converter. Every time this was done, steel to the amount of fix thousand dollars was made. If he ir.isc 1 the time, was a second too early or too late, the firm were loosers to that amount. The men were not allowed to speak to him as the moment approached. Ogden always stood near, d.'afened by the thunderom roar of the blast, but watch ing F.rri 's pile, intent face. After a few weeks Ojdsn learned to distinguish the subtle change in the 11 imc which marked the critical mo ment. II i told Ferris so one day, jokingly aJdin;-, "I caa take your place now, on an emergency." "I hope I mny not have to call on you," said Ferris, lmghing. Jake Crawfor 1 was behiud the two men. His canning eyes tpirkled. He followed Ojden homo in the dark, loit ering about until he saw Richard's wife run down tho path to meet him. "How is Ben?" sail Oden eagerly. "Better. I think it is not croup, only an crdinaiy cold. "Bens the baby! Aha!" muttered J ike, "I've got it, I'll settle his lord ship, now," thumping his fist on his leg and chuckling drunkenly. Ogden's watch began at 2 o'clock the next moraii:. Little Ben was couch ing asd chokia ail niht;his father sat beside hi crib until it was time to go, and then set off with a heavy heart. "What is the matter?" said Ferris, passing him. 'Th3 boy is threatened with croup. I think I could not live, Ferris, if I should lose that child," said Ogden. Crawford overheard, nodded, and laughed. At nine o'clock that morning there was a blow to be mad?, About eight Ferri stepped aside to cat his break last, which was placed ia a tin pail on a barrel. He hnd some cold coffee, which ho set ia a tin cup to warm be side a fur. ace. "Look to that, Crawford, will you?" he sai I, aad Jake assiduously bent over ;he cup. Out of his dirty pocket he to;-k a white paper containing, not I i on, but a nauseating medicine, slow an d sure in action. This he hastily -hook into the coffee. Ferris mid2 a wry fac?, but gulped it d.w-. He was hungry and cold. A :t !c be .'ore nine Mr. Berringcr, th2 jiiwipd owner of the works, camei i and ftood near. Ferris. He never wcaiied of listening to the roar of the blast, or of watchiag tho great ma chiaery in motion, and the rush of whitt liquid metal from tb.3 caldroa. "Are you ill, Ferris?" ho said, com ing up to the ycuag man, as he sat with his hand upoa the lever and his ey upon the fbry fluid. "Your lips are blue." "Yes," said Ferris curtly. But 111 see this through." TJIr. Berringer watched him closely. "You can't do it! You are near faint ing now. How long will it be until it is ready?" " About ten minutes," gasped Ferris, with a shudder of pain. "Is there nobody who can take youi place?" " I I don't know," hs said dully. Then he dropped the lever, and stag gered forward. "I I cannot sceT he cried. "Great heaven 1 What is to be done?'' cried Mr. Berriager. A quiet voica was heard from among the startled men, " I think I can take Mr. Fcrris's place, if you will trust me." "Ogden? Yes; try Oglen," said Ferris, as he sank down. Some of the men carried him out Richard Ogden stepped up to his platform and put his hand on the lever which the mill owner held. "I'll try you, ycuag mm. It's all I can do. Reitember if you fail by an instant, it is a lo3S of several thousand dollars to u," "I know, sir, I'll do my duty as well as I cm," sail 0o'den calmly; but he breathed a hurried prayer to Gjd for help. The frightful roar of the blast drowned all sound's, the curious work men gathered around, watching Ricl -ard's eyes fixed cm the flickering fl-irne. It seemed to him as if the beating of the blood in his veins kept time with the fire. Suddenly, distinct and sharp, he heard, outside of tin window near which he stool, his boy's name. "Benny Ogden, he's dying of croup, where's his father?'' "Great Godl" He started wildly forward; then grasped the lever again with strained eyes and clutched teeth. His duty. H j had promised he would do his duty. Tho next instant, the flame as if ia pity fcr maa changed its hue, and the lever sank. Out from tha converter rolled the fiery flood. Rich ard sprang dowa from the platform, white and tremblinj. "Is it Benny you're goia' to?' said Dan McCarthy. "I'm just afther seein' the bye go past the mill wid his mother, an' its well and hearty he i-s. It wur Jake Crawford as played that durty thrick oa yee3, zur," turning to Mr. B;rringer; "an' it wur him as dosed the coffee for Misther Ferris." 3Ir. Berringer was a man of few words. "Sini for a policeman for Crawford. Young man, the firm owes you something, and we will pay it as best we can." They did pay it This was four years ago. 3Ir. Ferris has been promoted in the works and Richard Ogden holds his place at a hijh salary. In one of the prettiest cottages in ths village you may find Mary and Ben, who is the big brother of two youngsters as fat and chubby as himself. Youth's Com panion. Saved by Swift Running. At Iakermann, one of the most stub bornly fought tattles of the Crimean war, a young officer, who had learned at Eton not much from books but a good deal from its sports, was surrounded and made rrisoncr. While going to the rear in charge of two stalwart Russians, he looked at their long coats and said to himself: "They can't run." Watchiag his opportunity, he knocked one soldier head over heels, threw the other, by a wrestler's trick, into the mud, and took to his heels. Before his guardians were on their legs and could fire, he had got over a good piece of ground. A Russian lancer made at him; he ran as if leading an Eton foot-race, and cleared a good-3ized fence. The lancer cleared it after him, and with lance fixed pressed the fugitive hard. A swollen brook, running fiercely, haired his way. It was seventeen feet wide, but the old Etonian h id won the "long jump" when at school, having cleared niacteen feet over Chalvey ditch. He now jumped the brook; the lancer refused to follow, and the young officer ran back into the Eaglish lines. How Gladstone Eats, It is reported thnt Mr. Gladstone ascribes his splendid health and lon gevity, to having early learned one sim ple physiological le3soa, viz, to make twenty -five bites at every bit of meat. Although the twenty-five bites might not make any impression on the meat, in some cases the interesting process of counting in every mouthful must be a species of rumination very diverting to the mind, and congenial to the statisti cal bent of the great treasury minister. For the purpose of mastication, how ever, shaving the meat off thin across the fibre with a sharp knife would be more effective and more favorable to sociability at meals. Most people cut it ia chunks, and so swa'low it, after a treatment that is merely lubricative, like that of a serpent CHILDREN'S COLUMN. A Hurried Breakfast. Six WtJe brown-coated birds I see, TVisting red buds from my dog-wood tree; Sickly the seed from the scarlet coats Glide down their feather-muffled throats. I snatch my pencil to catch tbo sight, In a little picture for May's de'ight, When they see a facj at the win low-pane; And whir go a dozen wing3 agiin! If they only know who scattered the cake About the piazza, for their sweet sake, And watched their footprints with secret glee, They would finish their feast from the dog wood tree. Curing- a Sick Child In Cb'na. When a child is taken sick ia China the parents believe that one of the sou'.s ' has wandered away and is lost, so the j mothor runs to the open door and crie3 ' Lail la!" "Soul, come home! soul, come home !" and the fath :r hastens out into the street and crosses the near est bridge searching for the truant's spirit ne hears the mother's wail and shouts back the cheering answer, "Com ing! coming!" Then a paper horse is burned ia the house for the soul to ride home upon, and the mother still utter ing her weir J cry begins to search the corners of her floor mud, if she is poor, brick or marble if she be rich and the first thing of life she finds is supposed to contain the missing spirit. Often it is a flea or beetle. WThen it is secured she gives n great cry of joy, wraps it in paper and places it under the pillow of the suffering child and expects an ix mediate recovery. Hirtford Couract. A Canine Conacirnce. "Tell you another dog story? L?t me sec," and the invalid doctor lifted his lame leg into a chair and scratched his head. "I never told you about old Pedro. He was the special friend of all the children in the neighborhood and had a most remarkable memory. He was a water-spaniel with a big head, long ears and a kind face; was fat, lazy and perfectly harmless. The children used him for a foatstool, sat upoa him, dressed him in gay colored calico, pinned his shaggy cars back with bur dock burs, aad he seemed to like their frolics immensely. One summer an or dinance was passed by the village trus tees, requiring all dos to be muzzled. Pedro wa instead, fastened with a pe culiarly made chaia which had once .done service in a suction pump. It was not heavy, but one would never forget the odd shape of its links. A hole was cut through the side of a work shop, and the chain wa3 fastened with a strong staple to a joist which wa9 ex posed when the hole was cut. Pjdro was a very unwilling prisoner for a week, when, oae morning,he was found lying on tho doorstep collar, chain and alaple gone. He had gnawel the staple out and had pullcl the collar off over hi3 head. Nne of hi3 fastenings could be found, hijh or low. Two years afterward the chain and collar were dug out of a pile of adics in the far back end of the h t The diggers knew that Pedro had buried them. They whistled, and he soon came bounding to the spot expecting fun of some kiad. The dig gers pointed to the chaia. Pedro looked down at it, smelted of it, dropped his t;il between his legs, cow ered, whined piteoudy for mercy, know ing his guiit was fouid out at last, and expecting no m?rcy. Did he get whippid ? Not much. He got a big shank-bone to gnaw, and the children wanted to give him a medal." Buffalo Express. TU- Monkey and the Baby. Some time ago an Eaglish lady who was living at Kingston, Jamaica, took passage oa a homeward- bound vessel, taking her two-moath-old i if ant with her. A large, strong, active monkey which was on board took a violent fancy to the child. The monkey would sit all day long watching the mother as she rocked and fondled her littlo one, and follow her from place to place. Several times the animal tried unsuccessfully to get the baby. One beautiful afternoon a distant sail attracted the attention of all on board, and the captain politely off .re I his glass to the .lady. She placed her baby on the sofa, and had just raised tho glass to her eye, when a cry was heard. Turning quickly, she beheld a sailor in pursuit of the monkey, which had grasped the infant firmly with one arm, and was nimbly climbing the shrouds. The mother fainted as the animal reached the top of the maiamast. The child in the meanwhile was heard to cry, but the fear that the monkey was hurting it was dispelled by seeing the animal imitate the motions of the mother, dandling, soothing, and en deavoring to hu3h it to sleep. After tryiag ia mar.y ways to lure the animal down, the captain finally or dered the men below, and concealed himself on the deck. In a moment, to his great joy, he saw the monkey care fully descending. Reaching the deck, it looked cautiously around, advanced to the sofa, and placed the baby upoa it The captain restored the frightened infant to its mother, who was soon satisfied that her darling had escaped injury. Young People. MADSTONES. One Which Earned a Fortune for its Owner. Curing the Most Virulent Type of Hydrophobia. '- One of tho most celobrated madstoncs in this part of the wcrll, says the Des Moines (Ia.) Leader, is that belonging to Turner Evans, of Paris, Linn county, this state. This valuable little stono was formerly owned by a gentleman in Virginia, where it is said to have effected wonderful cures during the past 130 year. It has been in the hands of tho present owner for over thirty years. During this time it has been tc ;tcd several times and has always given entire satisfaction, never fai.ing to ff ct a cure. The word "cure" is perhaps not the word to use in this connection, for if I am rightfully in formed it is always made a point to use the stone as a preventive of hydropho bia before the actual appearance of the. rabies. Daring the past thirty years this stone ha9 been tried on not less than 750 persons, and as Mr. Evans charges $10 for a trial and $50 if it sticks fast to the wound, which it is said to do if there is hydrophobic poi son in th3 system, his income from this source must be considerable. Ia 188D a gentleman with whom the writer was very well acquainted, was bitten by a dog thoujht to be suffering with hy drophobia. I refer to D. C. McGillen, who formerly worked in a harness shop in this city. Inquiries were made im mediately as to where the possessor of a mid stone could be found. As soon as this Linn County man was located McGillen started on his race with death having no doubt that awful disease (hydrophobia) was at that moment sow ing its seeds of d;ath in his system. He arrived at Cedar Rapids tho same night, was hurried into a carriage and taken to the ''madstone man" as soon as possible. After his return he gave the writer most of the facts which have been embodied in this article. He said that a3 soon as he arrived Mr. Evans scratched lm arm with a pin (he had been bitten in the hand) and applied the stone. Bifore thi, as a sort of prologue, Mr. Evans had informed his patient that if the hydrophobic germ was ia his system the stone wou'd hold fast to the spot which he had sacrificed ; but if he had not been inoculated with the fatal poison, it would not stick. In this case my in formant sai 1 "it stuck like a leech," snd thit when removed it was full of a greenish fluid th it looked "like scum oa a pond in August." This the operator said, wa3 the poison virus which ha I been taken from tho system. When the stone had been soaked for a f-jw minutes in a bath com posed of about one part milk and three of water it was again applied. This operation was repeated for about seven hours, after which tho stone would not adhere, and the operator pronounced the patL-nt out of danger. McGillen described th3 stone as a whitcish, spongy looking HttL thinjr," not larger than a filbert, coae-shaped an I full of fine pores. A Mr. Bunco of Mechanics vilic, this st. t-, hul ths stone applied something liko s.vea hundred time3 be fore ail the poison was drawn from the system, the tims consumed for these operations being so ncthing like twonty thrcehour;. J. M. E-tes of O.ceola, it is said, is the fortunate possessor of one of these wonderful stones. Another is in the possession of John Nelson of Savannah, M . In May, 1883. Frederick Re my, of Red Oak, w.13 I itten by a mad dog, as were also six others of the same city, all of whom went to try the virtues of the Missouri sione. I be ieve Rjmy was the only one that di:d of hydrophobia. He was bitten May 18, and showed r.o symptoms of the dread disease for thirty-four clays, or until Juie 21. He died after three days of terrib'c suff jr ing. I am unable to tell you wherj the madstone is fouid or how procured, that is, to any degree of certainty, lut believe it is found in the bladder of deer and other animais of that kia 1, oerhaps in the gnll-bag instead of the blalder. At any rate, I think it is found some place under the skin of that class of animals wh n 'ound at all. It is rarely found, however". Thomas Padden, one of the best-informed mea in the south, says that it is frequently found in the south, but that mo t of the so-called madstonc3 arc of a very low grade, and are used on the bites of snakes and stings of poisonous insects. He also leaves the reader in blissful ignoranc3 of where the stone is fonnd. A Substitute for the Switch. One day Ernest had been seriously lectured by his mother, and fi sally sent to the yard to fiad a switch with which he was to be juni hed. He returned soon an I said: "I couldn't find any switch, mamma, but here's a stone you can throw at me." Hirper's Magaziae. Bitter strife prevails b tween Mil waukee brewers and their men. In other words, they are at lagerh;ads. The Career of "Boss Tweed." William M. Tweed was born ia New York City in 1823. and died ia Ludlow Street Jail April 12, 1878. After re ceiving a common school education he learned the trade of chair making. In 1852 he was made an alderman of Njw York, and was soon after elected tc congress, where he served from 1853 tc 1855. In 1856 he became a supcrvisoi of New York aad chairman of the board. He was a school commission ei in 1856-57 and a depu'y street commis sioner from 1861 to 1870. From 1861 to 1871 he was a state senator. In 187C he was appointed commissioner of the department of public works in New York City. It was while he was in this office that a corrupt "iag," oi which he was chief, was formed and vast sums of public money wera appro priated to private use. The building and furnishing of tho new court house in New York were taken advantage oi for these peculations, " and the money represented to be spent on this work amounted to many millions of dol lars more than was actually de voted to thi3 purpose. These coriupt practices were exposed, and ia October, 1871, Tweed was arrested in a civil suit on charges brought by Charles O' Conor in behalf of the city. Bail was fixed at $1,000,000, and was promptly furni-hed. Soon afterward, Tweed was again elect ed to the state senate, but did not talcs his scat Ia December, 1872, he wai arrested in a criminal action on charges of fraud, but was released on $5000 bail. In January, 1873, he was brought to trial, which restated in a disagree ment of the jury. In the following No vember he was found guilty of fraud, and was sentenced to twelve years' im prisonment in tha penitentiary on Black well's Island; also to pay a fine of $12, 550. In April, 1875, suit was com menced in behalf of ths people for the recovery of $6,000,000, and judgment was entered for this amount, with in terest Tho view was sustained by the supreme court that the cumula tive sentence of twelve years' im prisonment on twelve counts of the in dictment was contiary to law, ia June, 1875, who said the sentence was not lawful beyond one year. Twecl's release was therefore ordered. He was, however, held in bail to the amount ol $3,000,000, and ia default of this he was committed to Ludlow street jdl. Oa December 4th ha escaped from the custody of two keepers with whom he had been permitted to ride in the Park and vidt his residence. He remained concealed for several months, and then succecde 1 ia reaching Cuba, whencs he went to Spun. Here he was arrested by the Spanish government, and de livered to officers of th3 United States. Lite ia the autumn of 1876 hj was brought back to New York, and again confinsd in Ludlow street jail, where ho died on the date above mentioned. New York Dispatch. Natural Woods in Vogue. The great demand for hardwood trim mings in the interior finishing of dwell ings has developed the art of staining wood until any variety i? now imitated so perfectly that only an expert can distinguish it from tho genuine article, years ago ths finest interiors were paint, ed plain whi:c. Very heavy enamelled paints were used and great care was taken to prolucj a pure, dazzling white. Then graining came in vogue. The fashion then changed to painting tho woodwork and walls in delicate tints, and now an interior is not correct unless it is finished in natural or stained woods. New houses follow the styles very easily, but it is a more difficult matter to keep an old house up to the times. To change the painted woolwork of a parlor to mahogany or cherry requires much ingenuity and skill. Tho paint is first burned off by means of a gas jst worked with a blow pipe. Then the wrood is scrapod and rubbed until a smooth clean surface showing the natu ral grain is produced. Next the stain is put on and rubbed in, the wood is polished, and the room finally has the appearance of being done in solid mahogany. Old Eaglish oak, which is the most po pilar wood now, is very difficult to imitate. The grain of oak is so different from that cf other woods that the same effect is hard to obtain. American oik, however, is readily stained to look like the foreign wood, and nine- nths of the "old English" variety is produced in that way. Wal nut and cherry produced by staining arc much handsomer than tho natural woods. Mail aad Express. A Singular Affliction. John Burgess of Erie, Penn., is suf fering from a singular affliction. He is a railroad engineer, and a short time ago, after stepping off his engine, he slipped on a piece of ice and fell, strik ing the ground quite violently with tho back of his head. He was helped home, and now that he has begun to recover from the first painful effects of his fall una can raise himself up, he is very much alarmed to find that when erect he is totally blind. In a lying posture he enjoys hi3 sight a3 previous to his fall, but as soon as he assumes an upright position he can see nothing whatever. Her Dough Was All Wedding Cake. In brown holla nd apron she stool in the kitchen; Her sleeves were rolled up, and her cheeks all aglow; Her hair was coiled neatly, when I, indis creetly, Stood watching while Nancy was kneading the dough. Now, who could be neater, or brighter, or sweeter, Or who hum a song so delightfully low, Or who look so slender, so graceful, so tender, As Nancy, sweet Nancy, while kneading the dough? How deftly she pressed it and squeezed it, caressed it, And twisted and turned it, now quick and now slow; Ah! me, but that madness Tve paid for in scdness, 'Twas my heart she was kneading as well as the dough. At last when she turned from her pan to the dresser, She saw me and blushed, and said shyly "Please go, Or my bread I'll be spoiling, in spite of my toiling, If you stand here and watch while Tm kneading the dough." I begged for permission to stay she'd rot listen; The sweet little tyrant said: "No, sir! no! no!1' Yet when I had vanished on being thus ban ied, My heart stayed with Nancy while knead ing the dough. I'm dreaming, sweet Nancy, and see you in fancy. Your heart, love, has softened and pitied my woe; And we, dear, are rich in a dainty, wee kitchen ; Where Nancy, my Nancy, stands kneading the dough. Brooklyn Citizen. HUMOROUS. Rabid transit Mad dog on the fly. Shakc-spoar experts Tho early Ro mans. The only dairy which does not use water to excess is the dromedary. Locomotive engineers arc not dissi pated, although it is notorious that they lead a fast lile. If the pen is really mightier than the sword, we wonder why it doesn't turn on some of the poets and stab them to death. - "Now, my dear," said the teacher, "what is memory?" The little girl an swered, after a moment's reflection, "It is the thing you forget with." "There is another fashionable insti tution that should be sat on," said the lecturer on hygiene, "and that is the bustle." And every lady in the audi ence gave vent to an audible titter. Minister: "So you go to school, do you. Bobby?" Bibby: "Yes, sir." Minister: "Let mc hear you spell kit ten." Bobby: "I'm getting too big a boy to spell kitten. Try mc on cat" Clara Have you noticed the com plete control that cross old uncle of Hattie'3 has over her? What a will he must have! Julia He has, indeed; and Hattie's awfully afraid she'll be left out of it A correspondent wants to know where to go to take lessons on the accordion. Go down in a diving bell a mile or two, though that will bo pretty rough on the innocent fishes, but it won't bother your neighbors. Citizen to Coal Dealer S ly, I want a ton of coal. Coal D?aler All right Shall we send it up right away? Citi zenOh, no. If it's anything like the last, I'll just call for it on my way homo and carry it up in my overcoat pocket. A Box on the Ear Lands a Trout, Trout Creek is quite a paradise for anglers. The fish are large, and become quite plentiful when the waters of Lake Aicslie arc sufficiently warm to cause them to seek a cooler retreat in the flow ing stream. Oae half of the stories which arc told of the catches at this place would fi'.l volumes, but none of these has yet reached the sublime height of what is claimed for a small lake near Guysboro. The narrator's hero is him self. He says that one winter, being tired of salt beef and wanting trout for a change, he cut a hole in tho ice on the lake. He had evidently selected a good day, for the fish took his bait so rapidly that it was downright hard work to keep pulling them out So eager were they, indeed, that they would jump for the bait before it had even touched the water. Our sportsman was an inventive genius and decided to profit by this phenome nal appetite. Getting down on his knees, he dangled the bait about a foot above the hole and awaited further de velopments. Almost immediately a fine trout jumped for it, and promptly re ceived a dexterous box on the ears which landed him far out on the ice. So numerous and so hungry wcro the fish that the angler's hand was kept constantly busy slapping them as they jumped for the alluring bit of red pork which hovered over the opening in the ice. Every slap yielded a fih. This continued until sheer fatigue put an end to the novel pastime. A conservative estimate placed the quantity of fish at somewhat over four barrels. American Magazine. M

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