North Carolina Newspapers

&l)c Cljatljam Uccorb. H. -A. IOIVOOIV, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. She Chatham Becoro .'1 RATES OF TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, ONE DOLLAR PER ' YEAR Strictly fnAdiance. AyAyA Ay ADVERTISING One square, one insertion- - $1.00 One square, two insertions - -. 1.60 One square, one month - 250 For larger advertisements liberal con tracts will be made. vol. x. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, AUGUST 30, 1888. NO. 52. 1 1 Wf 111! G G rnrlty. Like a shy startled thing she stood In ttn wild tangle of the wood; tfor violet eyes in sweet surprise Seemed some fair shadowing of the skies', In her white hands some bluebells spent The'i d ing breath in soft content Her p i te 1 lips their white pearls showing, Her cheeks like rose-hues paling, glowing, And all her child-like innocence. Ttuide, guard, protector and defense. What started her? A heavy tread Through the dim aisles, arched overhead By sun-flecked leaves and vibrant boughs, And what of heaven such shade allows. All day sweet soun Is had been a-stir Thi soft, far-reaching orchestra Of birds, bees, whispering winds and over The nearer fields of grass and clover C'anie I inkling cow-Lolls sifting through, As v iolets tint the dusk and dew. A tramp comes on! the pine-leaves sweet Shulder beneath his naked feet; He stops, wild.bungry, outlawed, fierce; His haggnrd eyes the girl's eyes pierce; But something in their tend r light Checks his half-savage mood, despite The lawless, dtsperate soul within That seldom stops nt soil or sin: He moves aside she passes by, Sared by the power of purity. LMarj' A. Denison in Frank Leslie's THE EIVALS. Br JOHN P PJOLANDER. Now trnt wvs understand each other let u shake hands and be friends." That's it." 7h:ir hands met in n firm grasp. Tiny looked into each other's faces, one ith a merry twinkle in his eye and a broad smile over his jovial feature: the other, with a glanco long drawn o'ir, gn vo ai d soli um, that seemed to tit t a shadow of gloom on everything about the scone. "YouM d j your best, and I'll do my hest. That' wh.t wu'vo agreed on, ain't it, Zip Tif.dn?" That's it, Ben Button, acd which ever of u wins, the other shall bear no ill n-lM I ' "J -nt so, Zip." "And everything except murder shall bo counted fair." "Eh?" 'Aod murder, loo, if you an willing to take the consequence?.'' "Say, Zip, hold on!' "Sj if I shoud pi t you out of my way right here,"" continued Zip without seiroiog to notice tin interruption, and drawing a small pistol out of lm boot leg as ho spoke, "and it would nev.rbo fund out on me, why it would bo al right,"- J5ut, Zip, say " ' Or if I were found out," Zip still continued, raising the pistol higher and hi ;htr till it pointed straight for Ben's onast, "and I wero willing to lake all tlu risk to get clear, which I think I am ready to do, why that, too, would bo all right." 'Hello, Ban, where are you going?' shouted Zip, as the former turned and ran down thoroa l at what seemed to bo almost breakneck speed, frequently casting scared and anxious glances be hind him. Ben, howiver, did not ft p to answer, but kept straight on until ho was lost to sight in a bend in the road, while Zip, 1-ending almost double with laughter, a nt peal after peal of merriment ring ing out on the balmy evening air. ' 0.' all the chickons in Christendom Bja Button lakes the worm!'' cried Zip, a broad grin still on his fac, as he also turned and walked away. Zip Tilkins, fulof life, .'ua and frol ic, had for the last few weeks loen p ityiag rival to Boa Button in the af fections of Mclinda Spratt. Bon was seriously in love with Melinda; . Mclin da's young heart was fond of Zip, and Zip, homeless, careless, fun-loving rover thut ho was, had nevet a thought that reached into the future for an hour. Bm an I Zip had met ii the road ac idintally. Ben was on his wy to the Spratt homestead to lay further siege to M liada's heart. For the last few days B m had had hut one thought, and that was how to get rid ot Zip as a rival. So, when he met Zip, he pleaded from the fullness of his heart and in the most persuasive language ho could command, that Zip would relinquish all claim to Melinda' s Vnrt and hand. Zip, in pure fun, feigned love also, ad with well-ait ned earnestness tried in turn to prev il upon Bsa to with draw from the race. Neither, however, would givo in. As a last rescrt they finally agreed that each should in a fair, friendly way, bo permitted to plead his own cause with Melinda, and let her decile. With Zip, so far, it was only a good joke, and as such he had made the mobt f it, as has been seer. Bin Button with regularity spent two veoings of the week at the Spratt domi ri'o. With Mclinda ho made very slow, if any, progress into favor; with Mrs. Spr.tr, however, he won golden opin ions and stood in high gruce. Siace the compact let ween Ben and Z p the latter had visited Mclinda but oace, and then she had, ii a very shy and sweet way, teasingly upbraided him for having tried to take the life of her constant admirer, Ben Button. "And would it bieak your heart, Mc 1 daf if he were to die?" asked Zip, with an engor undertone in his voice, watching her faco close'y. 4 'It would almost of course, if tut Zip, you have no right to ask such question,' she answered, looking up shyly and blushing. ' We'1, you needn't bo uneasy about him. I wtuldn't hurt Ben Button ly a single thought or word, much less take his life," replied Zip, with an earnest, ness unusual with him. 4 'I was only joking, Zip. But you seem to bo awfu ly in earnest and sol emn this evening. "What is ailing you, any way?' 'Nothing much, only I have made up my mind to go away," answered ip, looking asid "Go away?" 1 Yoa, Meliacln." "Where are you going?" "Anywhere. It makes no difference, so I get away." "And ain't you coming back?"' "Some day, maybe, if ever I get to be of any account to myself or anybody els?." "Yiu are of some account now, Zip, and you had better stay right where you are.'' "No; I've made up my mind to 0, and I m sure it is the b st thing that could happen lor us all around, so III stick to it, ' said Z'p, resolutely. Mclinda was looking cut of tho win dow. When she saw a man coming up the lane toward th? h u, and recog nized in the comer Ben Button, a shad ow of annoyance fluted ovor her face. Zip had been watching Melinda; and when he siiw the slight frown on her face, he too, glanced out, and seeing who was coming he roso to his feet, ready to depart, sayhg: 'Til call in again before I have and tell you all good by. Good evening." Mclinda glarced reproachfully after the retreating Zip. There was a sus picion of toars in her eyes, and a little quiver around her mouth, as sho mur mured to herself: "Foolih Z'p! Ho is going away because he thinks I am go ing to marry that hateful B.-n Button, and is jea-ous. But I can't make him see, and I won't ask him to stay. I'll die first. There." Tho truth was that a serious thought had at last come to Zip. He was in love, and ho knew it. Ho had looked at him'clf as in a looking-glass, and fouid out his own worthles3ness. More than that, ho had d tcrminod to go away, change his habits of shiftless ness, and become a useful man and citiz n. Ho wou.d not ask Mcliada for her love u'lil he had made him self wcrtliv of it. J', however, in tho meantime some oth;r naa Ben Button perhaps stepped ia ahsad of him, why, ho would still he the gainer by an ambition for higher things which, in an indirect way. would be a gift from M-jliada. That evening, Ben Button asked Melinda to be conic his wife: but sho was in no mood to answer him, then, lor Zips fooli-h determination to go away troubled her in no small degree. Sho knew. too. that her mother fa vored Ben above anv one else, and that she would be grieved if Ben re coivod a curt refusal, so sho told him sho would have an answer ready for him wh-ju ho should call again, and Ben was happy. Day3 passed away. They were days of hopo to Ben, days of doubt and ir resolution to M.linda,and busy days for hand and thought with Z'p. The decisive evening camo at last, and Ben was on hand with his usual clockwork regularity to receive what he fully expected to be a favorable answer to his suit. It had been a rainy day, but tne sun had broken through the cloulsinthe evening, and was setting bright and o K clear, casting its last rays upon Mrs. Snratt. Melinda and 11 jn liutton. as thev sat on the wo3t gallery of the house. "I declare, Melinda," said Mrs. Spratt suddenly, "if them welldiggers haven't gone off and forgot to shut tho gap in the fence around tho well. "And thcro is Blossie'a calf in the vard now . and going straight for the well. I'll go and fhut u the gap, mother: vou sit Etui, said JMeiinua. as f ' Mrs. Spratt was about to rue. Mclinda ran toward the well, heading the calf off at tho same time. She was about to closo tho gap in the fencj, when her eyes fell u;ion the wide open ing in the ground. Sho hesitated a mo- meit, then entered tho gap, and ap proached tho well cautioudy. On th3 brink, sho peered ov r and looked into tin depth below. She was about to withdraw again; but the ground unci r her feet gave way, and with a loud scream sho was hurled to the bottom of the well. Mrs. Spratt and Ben saw what hap pened, for their eyes had fondly follow ed Mclinda in her every movement, and they now rushed to the scene 6f the catastrophe. Stepping carcful'y upon some planks that wero lying across the opening of the well, they peered iito the abyss be 1 w them. Thero was no sound except of crumbling earih and pebbles fdiing from the si les of the well. Tho earth was loose fiorn tho rain during the Jay, and tho break where MaUnJahatkfallea ia had started the walls to caving all around. Then a large mass of earth fell crash ing to tho bottom of the well and laid bare a hu e bowlder hanging as if ready to topple the next moment. A faint moan from the bottom of the well reached tho ears of those above. ' Oh, Ben, sho is alivo! Savo herl" cried Mrs. Spratt. "I can't, Mrs. Spratt That rock in the side of the well will fall in di rectly," whined B.-n. "Oh, Bavo her, B.ml I'll lower you down with the windlass and hoist you out again," pleaded Mrs. Spratt. "'Taint no use. That rock will turn bio in in a minute," still moaned Ban. Just then Zip, with head bant, camo walking toward the house. Mrs Spratt saw him and called out to him excitodly: "Zip! Zip I como quick and save Me and a." Zip hoard and did not lose a moment in running to tho welL Ho took in tho situation at once. With allspeod possi'jlo ho unwound tho ropo from the wiadlas, and after tell ing Mrs. Spratt and Ben to stand rcadj to hoist, went down in tho well, hand over h ind, on the rope. Tho earth was still falling, striking tho bottom with a hollow sound, wheu Zip with a lusty shout told them to hoist away. Mtlinda was landed abovo ground at last, bleeding, bruised and unconscious The rope was lowero 1 agaii, and just as Zip's head was above ground, tho large reck in tho side of the well and masses of earth from all around crum bled in, and fell with a sound as of thunder to tho bottom of tho well. It wa3 a narrow escape. Mcliada was carrie I to tin house, and a doctor was sent for. B3foro ho ar rived, however, she regained conscious ness, and seeing Zip bending ovor her, a glad smile lighted up her fair young face, whilo sho murmured, "Don't go away, Zip. Dm't go away." Just then Mrs. Spratt, accompanied by the doctor, entered the room and ap proached tho bed. When the good mother saw the smile on her daughter' s face, and Zip bending low abovj tho pillow, glad tears came to her eye3, and her voice was low and tender. "You can kiss her Zip, if you want to,' she said. Zip did '"want to" and kissed Melin da on tor smiling lips. Then Mrs. Spratt put her arms around Zip's neck and kissed him too, and told him that lie must leave the room whilo the doctor attended to Molinda's hurts, which upon examination proved to to mere bruises after all. Ben hung around ih hou o for a while, but when ho saw that Ivj was left out ia the cold by cv-'rybody, even by Mrs. Spratt, he thought it bast to go. The Name of Gladstone. "I saw Mr. Gladstone onc at a gar den party, whero he was lion:zjd to an txtentthat is unknown in Amcrira," writes Blakely II dl in tta Now York Sun. "Everywhere he wont, droves of people followed him. When he began a conversation with any one, all the sur rounding crowd stretched forward as if their lives depvndtd upon hearing every word he uttered. In power or out, up or down, successful or unsuccessful, Gladstone is tho one prominent and majestic figure among his countrymen to-day. To say that he is tho foremost man in England ia to put it very mildly. He is of so much importance that tho mention of Gladstone's name among a group of sombre Britons in a railroad carriage, smoking room, or club in any part of tho kingdom, will set the crowd agog in a fashion wonder.'ul to behold. The name is a flaming menace and a terror to stupility and silence. I havo often amused myself, when traveling through England, by simply uttering his name and observing tho results. It was enough to set tho most taciturn of fellow traveler in a transport of volu bility; and tho result was always a long lecture on political events brought to a close by violent attacks on tho grand old man, stigmatizing him as every thing that was vile and treacharous, or elsa a long eulogy of tho most glowing and exalted nature." In the Mexican Congress. Whole sessions, sayi W. E. Curtis, pass away with nothing but rormal business, such as receiving communica tions from the executives of tho states, or petitions from the people which are raroly acted on. Occasionally a till is passed but it passes almost as a matter of course, some of the members giving a delicate little wave of the hand to the Secretary as ho calls their names by siht. others merely smiling at him, some paying no attention whatever to him, but none of them taking the trou ble to open their mouths or rise, as the rules require. Weeks and months pass away without a speech of any kind or even a point of order. Would Get over4t. "Tommy," said his penutioiis uncle, "how would you feel if I were to give you a nickel? ' . y:, "I think," replied Tommy, "that ;I would reel a little faint at first," rLifov v v CHILDREN'S COLUMN. 'Twill All Come Hl?lit. many is the kindness by ingratitude Oh, repaid, And many is the trusting heart that finds it! trust betrayed, And mmy is the bud of hope whose promise yields to blight, But do your duty, lad and lass; 'twill all come right. For all our griefs and troubles are bul blessings in disguise, , An 1 fiercest storms leave sweetest air, and calmest, bluest skies, And brightest stars are always born of very darkest night, So do your duty, lad and las3; 'twill al come right. Margaret Eytinge, in Youug People. How ffaipt Ventlla'n Their Home. An English gcntlci n lately took a small wasps' nest, about tho sizo of an apple, and, after stupefying its inmates, placed it ia a largo case inside of his house, leaving an opening for ogrost through the wall. H.re tho nest was enlarged to a foot in diameter, holding thousands of wasp?, and he was ab'.e to watch their movements, an 1 noted one new fact namely, their systematic at tention to ventilation. In hot w.'athor, from four to six wasps were continually stationed at tin hole of egress, and, while leaving sp ico for entrance or exit, created a steady current of fresh air by tho exceedingly rapid motion of their wings. After a long courso of tbh vigorous exercise, the ventilators w.ro relieved by ether waps. During coo! weath,r only two wasps at a time were usually thus engaged. Gal lea Days. How to Writ? on Ice with InV. Not many of you. my children, will care to write your letters on ice, even du ing the summer month. But I w s rather struck with the novel ilea, when a boy of the red school house told the dear littlo schoolma'am a bit of news that lately had como to this country from Austria. It appenrs that Francis Joseph, the E nperor of Austria, has a couitry scat near Vienna, aud on this fine royal estate is a lako which in win ter is used as a skating pond. Well, during ono of the latest Austrian "cold snaps," an expert Vienna gentleman went skating thore, with a litilo reser voir of ink adjusted to tho back of his skato in such a way as to allow the ilk to flow out in a fine steady stream. Then eff he started, and before he had skated long there appeared in his rapid track the namo of the Crowa Princess, beautifully and plainly written upon tho ice. St. Nicholas. Italian Sailor-Doj. In writing ol his experience with Ital ian seamen, Mr. Keane giv.-s them a first-rate character; but whit will in terest the reader most is what ho has to say of tho boys among the crow. There wero nine of these on board from twelve to twenty-one years of age. Tnese young boys serve for a period of seven years, beginning at a pay ol three shillings a month, which is in creased every year until it becomes niae shillings a month in tho last year of their apprenticeship. They are brought up in an extremely hard man ner; only those who are ia the last year of their tim are allowed to live below. The other poor littlo , wretches sleep anywhere, two or three of them in the galley during their watch below at night. Thy hava no proper mes', but the cook used to give them a great pan of food from the remnants of our mj3s and the cabin. It was generally a mixture of maccaroni, boiled beans, boiled corn meal, stockfish, olive oil, and scrapings from every other dish of the day. The five youngest boy3 would find the dryest place on deck, ai.d then sit around it, with one spoon among them all. Each one would take one spoonful and hand tho spoon to his righ-hand neighbor; so the spoon would go round until tho food all disappeared, each one having taken tho same num ler of spoonluls. A Faithful ttnardian. This story of a dog is vouched for by a lady who resided in Dresden, Ger many, and who knew all parties con cerned, from the baby to tho dog. It seems that a lady left her infant asleep in the cradle, sitting beside the child a nurse, and sleeping at the nurso's feet a largo St. Bernard do.jf. Returning home some hours after sho fcund the room empty and heard a low whine from a linen closet adjoining. O i entering she found her child on an upper shelf, held there by the forefeet of tho' dog. The little one was safe and crowing, all unconscious of its danger, while the dog fell exhausted to the floor when relieved of his charge. Ou inquiry it was found that tho nurso had been arranging tho closet and to have tho baby near her had laid it on tho shelf, and on being called off suddenly had left the child and forgotten it, while tho faithful dumb servant had stood an hour and a half watching his charge and holding it on the shelf. It is useless to say how grateful the parents were to their dog, who, after all, had done only what ev ery resf ectablc dog would do uadcr tho cii cum tan cos, Picayune, A CAVALRY- CAMP. ights and Sounds Around Bivouac on the Plains. Preparations Before "Boots and Saddles" is Sounded. Drawn ly a feoling of curiosity, a St. Louis Republic corrcsp ndent strolled down to the encampment of the Eighth Civalry, United States Army, which pissed through Arkansas City, Kan., rcccnt'y on its w:iy from the posts on the Lower Rio Grande to Dakota and Montana. The regiment had bivouacked on a broad, level plain, just at tho edge of the city. Long whito rows of army tents scattered here and there suggested one of the mushroom towns which in tho far west olten spring up in a day. E ich troop encamps by itsolf and so regularly are the tents pitched that from tho head tent to the foot tent a straight lino might bo drawn, touching each tent between. As soon as the tents arc pitched all the stock mut bo attend ed to aud the regular duties of tho day keep tho men occupied till evening. Then guard mount takes place, twilight gives plr.ee to dark, and soon nothing remains of tho busy hivo but a few ghostly tent", lit up by the flickering light of the camp fires. Every half hour tho sentinels pacing their weary beats called out the hour a d "all's well." Every two hour came tho guard relief, and thui the right passed just as the night before ha 1 gono and ju t as the many coming nights will go with th.so mon. At 4 1-2 tho bu lo rcmcd the sleep ing camp, anl just as the first faint streaks of dawn appeared tho camp once moro became a scone of busy activity. Thostcckmust bo galloped off to the river a mile away, and then horses and men return to thdr morning mea1. The horsos aro fed in fetd buckets which are fastened under their mouths by a land passing over the head. In a short time horses and men jaded with a thousand-mile journey, are reinvigora tid and ready for another day's march. To tho uninitiated these ordered pre parations appear like the most reckless con lu ion. Privates ia dirty . blue blouses and grass-itained trousers run to acd fro; every now and then some teamster gallops off to tho river fol lowed by an animated chorus of army mule3 ; wagons aro being loaded ; men rush here and there filling thoir can teens. A few mi:.utes before 6 general call is sounded and chaos assumes order. Shortly after comes the order to strike tent?, and in an instant, as if by migic. thi encampment has disappeared. Whilo you aro watching one tent pulled each man has done his work, and once again tho miniature town gives pb:ce to the plain of a day before. Tho tents are quickly rolled up acd put in tho wagons and then 'boots aad saddles" is sounded. Ev ery man takes his station. Thy are ranged ia troops men and horses alt.-r-nj.tng. Etch t ocpor has his right hand on his horse's bridle, faces vacant and expressionless, eyes adjusted a cer tain distanco to tho front, hoj ing noth ing, awaiting nothing, but the order to mount. This is presently given, and like an automaton cadi man springs to the saddle. Tho day s march has now begun. The men all wore cavalry boots, some what the worse for wear and dirt. Their coarse, heavy trousers were tucked tightly within. They wero seated on a light, cheap saddle, very unlike the cowboy saddle of tho West. It had a small horn, and looked like an extreme ly comfortless s?at. The stirrups are covered and worn very long, compelling tho riders to rest the weight of tin body on tho toe?. On the right side of the saddle the carbine is slu ig, and on the left the canteen and feed bucket must be disposed of. Strapp.d to the back of the saddlo aro the unfailing slicier (or waterproof rubber coat) and army blankets. A coarse, blue shirt and an army slouch hat complete the outfit, and tho private may pass on se cure in the consciousness that nobody will envy him all he possesses. The officers were but a shade better off. Their clothes looked a littlo newer and their faces were a littlo cleaner, but the bronzed faces showed a life of hardships.' Ojc fi i c-look ing old gentleman had a villainous looking old pipe and a sack of tobacco hanging to his saddle bow. It toolc about a quarter of an hour for the regiment to file past. A huge cloud of dust was raised, and "glory and dirt" disappeared together. The entire isolation of army life and its dreary regularity must become monoto nous in tho extreme. S cial advantages are entirely out of tho question ; friend must be forgotten as soon as made ; new scenes come to mean only so much ground passed over, and new towns arc only another camping ground. Ia win ter quarters, however, pleasure are cot so infrequent. Amateur theatricals and social events relieve tho unvarying mo notony of camp routin-. Tho life must ui.fit ono for any kind of business When a man has bee i a:ccustom'.-d to the routine of orders prepared by superior officers he finds it almost impossible to redirect his energies back into a plana of perfect independence. It is at its best a wandering life, with no horn ties. The Value of Advertising. Everybody has heard of Frank Millet. He paints pictures and writes magazine articles in times of peace, but when a war is "oa" ho becomes a "war corre spondent," and i3 likely to turn up ia tho Soudan, the Transvaal or the Bal kans. But there was a time when ho was not kaown. ne sent pictures to ex hibitions, to be sure, and good ones, but no one paid any particular attention to them or said anything about them. One day ho conceived an ides. Ho painted a picture of a lady in black sit ting on a bright red sofa standing against a vivid yellow background. The effect was just a trifle startling. Friends who saw it ia process of production ex postulited with him, and asked what ho was going to do with it. They wero simply astounded when he announced that he was going to send it to the cx hi.ition. Thev labored with him. but in vain. They told him th t the critics would "wipe the floor" with him. "They can't do that without mention ing me,'' said Frank, quietly, "and they've never even done th it yet." To the exhibition tho picture went. It killed everything within twenty feet oa cither side of it. You couldn't help looking at it. It simply knocked you down and held you then-. The critics got into a towering passion over it. They wrote whole columns about it. They exheu ted the English language in abusing it. They ridiculed the com mittee that permitted it to be hu ig. They had squibs and gibes about it, Lut every time they spoke of it they men tioned Frank Millet. II suddenly be came tho best known artist in town. Somebody, because of the stir that it had made, bought the picture at a good pric., and removed it to the seclusion of his own homo. When ths next exhi bition came off Frank had another pic ture ready, one of a very diff .-rent sort, and very good, lut no better than others which had been exhibited be fore. The critics had much to say about it, and "noted with p'easuro tho marked improvement" that Mr. Millet had made, "an evidence," as thy mod estly put it, "of tho v.ilue qf criticism, even though severe, to a yoirig arti.t." And a majo:ity of them nt-ver saw that Frank had simply compelled their at tention by a clever trick. Boston Herald. Money in a City's Garbage. "New York City drawi an income of $18,200 per annum from the utilization of the city garbage," said Jacob Dea bold, Deputy Commissioner of Street Cleaning, to a Mail and Express young man. Ho added that Chester M. Smith pay3 the department $350 weekly for the privilege of "trimming" the city ash and garbage scow. His "trim mers" glean bottles, lones, rags and the like from the mass of ashes and gar bage. The labor for trimming the scows 3 fur. ihed by tho contractor, which is a saving to tho department of at least $ 300 per week. The prcse.-.t contractor, who has only recently h: dthe privilege, proposes to make innovations on the old hand methods, and with the aid of ma chinery to clean and wash in hot water and disinfect the products. At the foot ofEist S.venteenth street he, with a number f associates, has been engaged for six years, at an expenditure of $100, 000, in pcrficting a "separator" and "crematory," in the former of which ingenious machinery separates the mixed refuse into its component parts of clean ashes, useful for filling behind lu khiads; coal and cinder, tonato cans, bottle?, bones, rags and garbage, which last composes about one-half of the mass. It is automatically conveyed to the "crematory," whero it is de stroyed by fire and the noxious gases are consumed. The Echo Maker. The popular Science Monthly de scribes a curious and ingenious device called "The Etho Maker" to bj used on ships at sea. A fining funnel is screwed to the muzzle of a rifle. When a sup posed ol staclc is near the vessel, tho rifle is fired in its dircc:ior, and if the obstacle is there the beam of sound pro jected through the funnel stiikes tho obstacle and rclounds, and as the echo is more or less perfect in proportion as the obstr.c'c is more or less parallel to the ship from which the gun is fired, and as it is near or remote, the position of tho obitae'e may be inferred. The inventor claims thit a sharp sound pro jected at or nearly at an object, and n ly when so, directed, wi Tin every ca?o . return some of the sou id sent, so that, I theoretically, there will always be an I echo, and the difference in the time be- tween tho sound sent acd tho echo, 1 will indicate the rcrr.oUnc-'S of .lic object. Th Naval B or J tried the ' echo maker and lound that a return -sound could be heard from the side of a fort half a milo away; from passing ; tc i mers a quarter of a mile off if broad side t"o; irom bluffs and sails of vessels at jibcut the same distance, and from ! sP"r buoy 300 Jards waj. Take a Lesson from the Farmer. There's a lesson in the saying of a farmer in the West "'hat of other things in life, as well, might answer for a test. Shall I givo the lesson to you ? Will you heed its teachings? Well, Listen to me but a moment and the story I will tell. We were out among the milch cows, speak ing of the best ones there, When the fai mer of my first choice said, w.th patronizing air: "Sne's as plump as any pigeon, and her coat's f as soft as silk, But tbe slickest looking heifer ain't the one that gives the milk. " Oft 'neath clumsy outward bearing beats a heart both true and brave, And the smooth and winning manners may conceal the vilest fcnave. So the lean horse does the pulling and is not afraid of work, While the fat and lazy pony is contriving bow to shirk. Would yiub .cka city dandy to engage in any strife, Or tho one whose hands are smoothest for the heavy work of life? Choose ilia homely for your milch cow and we'd then, sir, by your leave, Send the short-horn to the butcher, she will make him splendid beef. Take a lesson from the farmer, with his sturdy common sense, Who, unlike the politician, never sits astride the fence; Watch the smoothest talking fellow, he may prove the biggest bilk ; Know "the slickest looking heifer ain't the one that gives the milk." Matt W. Anderson in the Mercury. HUMOROUS. Small comfort A baby. A fascinating tail Tho peacock's. Sighs for lost beauty aro vain regrets. An astonished country Consterna tion. When a man has but ono match it doesn't go. Hogs do not marry, but they aro often bctroughed. Tho latest from Shanghai Cock-a-doodle-doo! The man of brass is always ready to show his mettle. The sign "No Loafing" seems out of place in a bakery. "I may bo a slave, but there's noth ing of the surf about me," said the Mill Stream. Washington has a summer home fox cats. It is said to bo surrounded by a caterwaul. It is tru3 that when a man bows to a lady and sho ignores the greeting, he becomes a left bower. Smith Whnl! moving again, Jones? Jones (gloomily) Yes. "Had a fire ia the house?'' "No; a fire out of tho house. '' Dead teats may learn a lesson from the fly. It never thinks of taking your sugar ai d things without "settling on the spot" for them. Western Judge (to prisoner who was arrested in tho gutter) Your re (hie) drunk yet, m' fr'cn'. Prisoner No, sir, (hie), sober as a judge. A Dr. Zachaiic c'aimsto have cut 15, 000 corns from soldiers' feet during tho war, and now he wants the Government to pay him $45,000 for it. Pretty costly corn crop, that for our Uncle Samuel. The day will come ia this country when tho man who carries a cane under his arm and the man who carries an umbrella on his shoulder will be taken out and hit with a squash, and hit hard enough to kill. Then the woman with the bai y cart want to look out. Chinese Gamblers in San Francisco The Chinese, writes a correspondent of the New York Star from San Fran cisco, arc inveterato gamblers. Their domino games, three or four to a block, may bo noticod on every street of tho gambling quarter thoyhivo converted from a clean Caucasian dwelling dis trict to a city as distinct from Aryan Sin Francisco and as exclusively Chinese as Pckin. Domino games are, however, the most innocent of the diversions of the heathen. In tho Chinese district there are probably two hundred lottery places, agencies of the eight or tea diff .-rent Chinese lottery companies that operate ia Sin Francisco. There are also dozens of tan games in the district, but these are conducted with much moro secrecy than tho lottery game . Fifteen or twenty years ago tho Chinese lottery places were run as secretly as counterfeit money mills, and no white man could get inside of one unless he was veryloso to some influ ential Chinese boss. Now the round of the lottery places is part of the trip of every tourist who visits San Francisco's cesspool. ' A Chain of Events. List year out in Iowa a mad dog bit a steer, which in turn bit a pony, which tried its teeth upon a bull, which, upon going mad, chewed up fence rails as though they were hay, and wound up by biting and goring his owner. So far the man has escaped rabie?, but his neigh bors have raised a purse to send him to Pasteur for treatment, and he is now, on his way in charge of a local phy sician. Chicago Times.