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PlTTSBOttO CHATHAM CO., N. C, JUNK 22, J81W.
Turning (ho Clock's Hands.
I found young Sliorlem standing thoro
On tiptoe on the highest chair,
Turning the bunds upon the clock
" Dm fas' ns I can make Vni walk."
" Why, naughty ShorU-ni," 1 protest,
" l.'p to the clock yon should not climb,"
" I fought," said Shorten), "it was best
To turn it roun' to supper time."
And then young Shorten) danced away
And went mirhiiled to his piny,
For do we not nil love to climb
And turn the laggard hands of time.
And whirl the slow-paced hours nw-iy
To some far, beiitillc ltt .'
I'p to the do k tlril ticks our doom
We, nil like Miortem love to climb,
And p.iss iron) this "between uicuD
And turn It round to supper time.
Sain Walter Koss, in Yankee B'ntlo.
The Bravest Deed I Ever Saw
ItV CAITAIN CI1.VKI.KS KINi, r. s. a.
It was n wretched morning wet,
dripping, will) misty wreaths bunging
low over every butlo and crag. For
Jays wo had born marching with
staiving horse over rolling prairies
from which t tic Indians had burned
every blade of buffalo grass. Not ii
lout bud wo in Ibo entire com maud ;
not n change of clothing, ami since
wo cro-so I ilio L'ttlo Missouri and
si i nek Ihc head waters of Heart River
not a full stomach.
Kitious were well nigh exhausted.
Wo were living on "quiirier portions"
of bacon, hardtack and sugarless
U was the mi minor of the terrible
Custer Massacre ( 1 870 ) , and night
nml day wo were pursuing I lie SiouX,
hoping to overtake and punish tin in.
Hut they scorn lo have scattered over
Ihc face of tin eailh.
.Silting It it I, wiili n great follow
ing, bail crossed the Yellowstone and
gono north. Crazy Horse, a brilliant
und during leader, with a host of
Oga lullus mid UmiIcs at bis back, was
known lo have made for the fastnesses
of the Had Lands of western Dakola.
Thither (ieneml Crook was now
lending us a column strong in num
bers, for we bad .01110 forty companies
of regulars, as well as a goodly force
of i-O' Hi , packers and other.
Our cointuund consisted of the cn
tiio third cavalry, most of the fifth, u
battalion "four iiiups of tbo second
cavalry, and a detachment of infantry
chosen fiont lluee regiments. We
bad men enough to ovcieuuc nil the
Indians in Dakota; but with starving
horses and half-starving soldiers little
can be done in i lie way of aggressive
Our rations practically gave out on
I ho t-ixtli of September. For several
days we lived on horso meal. The
choice was bo went that or our boot",
and as vc hud been scouting, Irump
hijf nml campaigning ever since l lie
spring, our boots wero worn as thin
us our Itoasts.
About 7 o'clock in tin) morning of
September ninth ihc iijws flew down
llio column like a (lush, ' Sioux village
blij one fifteen miles ahead I"
Oolouol Hills, then a senior captain
serving with Ibo third cavalry, had
boon sent for wind by (Icncntl Crook
Iwc n it hta before with orders to push
through lo the lUnck Hills with hi
eommaud 1 5t picked horses and nion
sod a pack train load up wiili all the
provltioiis hu could buy, and hasten
bsck to inoet lit. This very morning
si daybreak lie had dashed into the
village which his scouts "located"
during the night, and wits now
"hanging on'' to hi prize until we
could roach him.
Well, wo got there pushing ahead
lluoug mud, mit ami ruin, lljing
ndjutsut, 1 happened to lido at head
of column as we nearcd the scene, and
to obtained uenpltal view and a list
ing Impression of tho situation.
For the lime being there was a lull
in tbo light. Foriy-ono big lodges
wero scattered about tho ravines in a
iloop ainpithontro of the craggy hills
kuown is Slim Unties. Mills had M at
tered tho Indians ju-t at dawn, cap
tured a herd of four hundred ponies,
found several sovonlh cavalry horses,
one of Custer's beiiutiful silken
guidons, Captain Myles Kcoh's gaunt
lots, nnd other trophies which proved
that thesa fellows hail been concerned
in tbo massacre, ami ihat they must
bo part of Criuy Horse's big band.
Therefore their friend could not be
Laic that afternoon tho whole party
came Crazy Horse with bundled of
his warriors and a lively light we
bad with them; hut meantime, oc
curred what seems to me perhaps ihc
bravest ihii.g I ever saw in Indian
Look out for that ravine !" said
Colonel Mills to me, as I was
riding in among the lodge 'There's
a wounded Indian in there, and lie has
killed one of my men."
SjlU'O enough! Out in the slopes
near tho deep, brush-biddon depths of
tho little gorgo a cavalry soldier, Won
zel, was toppled forward on his
knee, etouc dead, and Sergeant I hiss
bad just got a bullet through tho arm.
It was plain that there must bo more
iliuii one Indian in there, for two
quick shots suddenly rang out, and u
couple of scouts crossing the lowlands
nenr tho mouth of ibo gully ducked
i heir heads and tan for shelter.
My orders required me to place the
fifth cavalry in position facing the
blull lo the southeast and south of tbo
captured village. After this duty was
performed, and I had seen the various
troop commander and given thcin the
colonel's instruct ions, 1 had leisure to
look about inc. I did not dream what
a living volcano there was at the head
of that lit'le ravine.
I bad found a liltlu patch of grass
down in a sheltered nook und had
thero ickctcd my poor old troop
horse and was coining back afoot tow
ard the big "lodgo" of skins beside
which the colonel had unsaddled,
when I caught sight of tlirco or four
scouts and troopers crawling toward
Ih') opening of the ravine, evidently
bent on getting a shot at the occu
pun'.s. In a moment those fellows were
Ibtlleued out on the ground like a
bunted squirrel on the trunk of n tree,
mid the moislurc-lnidcn air lang with
shots as the lend whizzed over their
Every one seemed to wake up nli at
once lo ibo rcallzitiou that there was a
nest of ivdskiiin up at ihe head of tho
gully. Presently a eoncerieJ effort
was made lo fe:cli I hem out.
Ha f a dozen ellieors und several
ill . 'ii soldiers and scouts took part
ami, as though by common consent,
tbe leadership devolved on one of the
bravest, manliest cavalry men it was
ever my lot to know l'hilo Chirk,
i lie it lieu count and aide-de-camp to
1 remember him vividly ns ho looked
I hat day, the broad b; i in of bis scout,
ing hat tossed back from his forehead,
the collar of hi buckskin hunting
shirl looso y fas ened at the throat
no sign of uniform about him, for in
iho-e days we rarely wore tbe army
blue on Indian campaigns.
He came striding forward, rill J in
hum!, and waving the lucii to "go in''
a ong tho slopes to the right and loft
of the ravine. He himself, to my
honor, c lolly pushed straight for
ward into what might be called the
mouth of ihe gull) .straight on past
ihe point where the venturesome
troopers had been flattened out so
shot t n time before.
In an instant, it seemed to me, the
clump of bushes at tho upper end
began to spit lire like a Fourth of July
1 1 1 i no. A blue cloud of sulphur smoke
bung over the Indian burrow. The
chit lor of rille shots was liko that of
u (hilling gnu. Several soldiers
dropped in their (racks along tho
Jim While, one of our best scouts
and a great friend of Buffalo Hill's,
gave ouo ghastly cry, "O my (iod,
boys!" clasped his bauds lo bis heart
and plunged forward oil bis face,
Keeling back from the sudden shook
our men at (ho moment sc ittcrcd right
and loft, for we had struck a formida
ble ambush. Not a vostigc of an In
dian could wo tee, yet that soooped
oul shelter of theirs was evidently
crammed with them.
1 niysolt was over on tho right bank
at the time, and ducked with amazing
proinptttudo when that storm of tire
and lead burst on us. My noxt thought
when I found myself unhurt was for
Clink. Wo had been warm friends
from our cadet days lit West Puinti
mid my heart was in my niouili with
fear for him.
Thero lie stood, just where I bad
seen lii in the inslaut before, with the
same quiet sinilo on his face, never
bending, never swerving, if anything
rising higher on liptoe, as ihough
striving to peer into that dark, lire
Hashing dopih up the gully.
Mechanically be was thrusting an
oilier cartridge into tho bnccli of Ids
rille. Rang! bang! went the Indian
guns. Whiz! z;p! spat tho bullets.
"Down, Claik! Down!' shouted
dozens of voices in tones of agonized
"Cuiiio out of that, l'hilo, for
heaven's sake!'' yelled n second caval
ry man close bondo me. Itut just ns
placidly and unconcernedly as be
would have strolled into bis troop
stables, smiling the whilo at the con
sternation he was creating, even find
ing time for a half-lnughiilg rejoinder
to the appeal of a conn. ado from our
side, Clark piishod ahead until ho
could peer in through the veil of
smoke, laiscd bis title, aimed ami
Then as coolly, he motioned, "Coino
on! Come on!"
It was too much for the crowd.
Everybody seemed to mako a siinul
t uicous flash then. In vain the hid
den Indians fired mid strove to sweep
A moment more and brave old Cap.
tain Miiiisoii had leaped in from one
side aiiil was half-di ngging, half. lift,
ing out some terrible squaws. Other
willing hands wero passing out some
creaming little Indian children, so us
to gel the women and papoose out of
harm's way before closing accounts
with (he warriors.
Then iinding their "non combat
ants" kindly (rented, instead of being
slaughtered, as would have been the
cisc hud wo been the lesieged, the
Sioux called out for quarter nml sur
rendered. One old villain who went
by the name of American Horso was
already shot through the body and past
praying for. Another fellow, who
called himself Charging Hear, subse
quently became an Indian scout in our
service, and behaved very well. The
others wero kept as prisoners until wc
got to tho agency al Red Cloud.
I had seen sonic Indian lighting
before this allair, und have been in
ono or Iwo campaigns since; but 1
recall no piece of individual daring
and bravery and e. n unimate coolness
under lire to eelip-o l'hilo Clark's ex
ploit at Slim Rut tea in 1870.
(iiiilunt fellow! He became a cap
lain a few years later, and was serv
ing in Washington City on the stall
of Licutcnant-Gcncral Sheridan, who
thought tho world of him, when
death, which had spared him :i hun
dred times over in Indian warfare,
cut him down in the midst of peace,
security, and in the very prime of a
vigorous life. Youth's Companion.
Timber 1000 Years Obi.
Experts teem to bo divided us (o
which of (he (wo hard woods jarrah
and karri of Western Austrulia is
the most d'trablo.
Jarrali wood piles two feet two
inches square, driven 153 years ago at
the Largo Hay pier, were found, on
examination, to bo as sound us tho day
(hey wero put, in,
S mo specimens of karri wood taken
fiom u fence were recently sent to
London, nnd. though the wood had
boon underground for 25 years, it was
perfectly sound. A specimen of
jirriih wood under similar circum
stances showed serious decay.
Timber of the luiuuri-k or shillini
wood has been found perfectly sound
in the ancient temples of Egypt in
connection with tho stonework which
is known In be at least 4OU0 years old.
In some tests made with small
squares of various woods buried oue
inch in the ground tho following re
sults were obtained: Kirch and aspen
decayed in three years; willow and
horse-chestnut in four years; maple
and red beech in live years; elm, ash,
hornbeam and Lombard)' poplar in
seven years; oak, Scotch fir, Wey
mouth piuc and silver fir decayed to a
depth of half an inch in seven years;
larch, juniper ami arbor vitae were
uninjured at lbs expiration of tho
The redwood of California, has the
quality of being nearly fireproof. The
root of thobiicr is the only wood
which does not burn when exposed lo
Coens-wood is the hardest knowr
wood; oak is tbo strongest. The
heuviest British wood is that of the
box-tree, which sinks in water. Horn
beam is tho strongest and toughest
wood for mechanical use.
Tho strongest American wood is t lie
nut meg hickory ; tbe most elastic the
Taiiiar oak; the heaviest, the blue
wood of Tcxhi.
In situations so fiee from nioisiurt
that wo may practically call them dry,
the durability of limber is almost un
limited. The roof of Westminster
hud is more than lot) years old. In
Stirling casllo arc carvings in oak, well
preserved, over tlUU years of age.
Scotch lir has been found in good con
dition after a known iuo of 1100 years,
and the trusses of t Ins roof of the
basilic of St. 1'aul, Rome, were sound
and good after U0O years of service.
Wood constantly wot in fresh water
is quite as durable. Files were dug
from Ihc foundations of (ho old Savoy
I'alace in a perfectly Hound state after
having been down Cot) years. Tho
piles of O il Loudon hi idgo wero
found sound ami pi'ifect fcOO sears
afitr they were driven. Detroit Frco
A Teuiler Spot.
Mrs. Screleaf (io away! I give
nothing to tramps.
Tramp (wiping away a shimmering
tear) Ah, lady! I once had ii wife
as good looking as you are, but
Mrs. Sorolotif (affected) (io around
to the kitchen, poor fellow, nnd while
you eat dinner, I'll listen to your sad
A CAItRI.KSS Pi IN If.
I took my rubber hoots one day
Ami put them on my pony's feet,
Whereat the pony ran nway.
Ami disappeared far down the street;
And when they brought that pony buck,
Although he'd kept his shoes all right,
My lovely rubber boots, ul.e k !
Were really in tin awful plight.
i St. I.'iiiis llep thlic.
A yt.'KKK IM'. lull st iiAl:. I
While llio ocean greyhounds have (
been busy cutting down the miming j
time bolwoon Sandy Hook and tj irens
town ly menus of a con-tuuily in- J
creasing consumption of coal, a Mn- ;
sachiiseits man has been at work on
an engine which be declares will on- ,
nblo a bin lo cross Ihc sea in a little 1
over three (biys and, that without the j
use of any coal at all. And what do 1
you think will lake its place as one of
tho chief sources of the motive power? ;
Simula like a fairy lale, doesn't it?
lint suppose you had lived two htiii- !
tired years ago and some one bad told
you that the steam causing tin) top of
a steam kettle to dance would result in
an invention capubln of carrying pec :
pie about the country at the rate of I
sixty milcH an lioui wouldn't you j
have declared thai lo be u fairy talo
Still, the sugar and chlorate of pot- j
nsh boat has not yet won its laurels. j
TO M IN I I'.ltHKI'.KX IiKUUM'.S j
Who sings your praises, bright
beauties, you pretty little winter- j
green berries? j
Yet you comi with your fragrance .
sub'le, and llio cowslip., dandelions ;
and early violet, who whisper "How
beautiful you are" with your rich ;
color and glossy, fragrant leaves. I
And nono need look on you with
scornful eyes nor despise your niode.t
loveliness, half bidden, on your lowly
parent vine, dose to the warm earth
that loves you. j
You are hardy, tnavbe is Ihe iciisoii 1
why yon get little notice, and expect ;
none, like other humble, rugged ;
Stiil, not in -,ro pica. ii o Imvu l.. '
first spring blossoms given the clul- i
(Iron than have you, y-n blight, deli- i
onto berries peeping, gay bits of color,
out from among your shilling leaves,
where you grow on ihe hillside,
sharing your home with the friendly
moss, or in tbo wood', modestly j
thriving at the feet of mighty forest,
giants, whero the shadows come and '
Hut the merry, singing birds and :
happy, laughing children love you
denily, you bright spicy treasures,'
very dearly. Detroit Free Frets. j
rot. i.ow r.tts ok thk t:i:iin:i.i!.
About the only properly of the pco-
tile of Lapland is their reindeer, and '
rich men do not estimate l heir wealth '
by tho number of dollars or pounds or
francs they possoss, but by the iiuin.
her of reindeer they own. Thi ani- -mill
furnishes not only milk and meal t
for food, but hides lor tents, shoos
nnd clothing, and is mo: cover. :i sub- :
slilulo for horses which nobody need i
ll os pi sc. Riding beliin I a reindeer on j
a long uariow Lapland sled is some
times swift, and exciting business. A
writer for Our Animal Friends says
that "the annual migration of ihc
reindeer from Lapland in search of !
food has now become a serious mat- i
In the lirst place it uccssitatc tho ;
migration of man, for if owners want
to korp their deer and their property
thoy must follow t ite m wherever Ibcv
wander. Secordly, the migrating ani
mals travel in such groat herds that
they do great damage to the meadow-,
ploughod lands und l'orcs's. rlieit '
j seems to be no stopping it. The deer I
! migrnto with more or less regularity,
I And within a week or two of the usual
! time U hundred thousand rciudeci
come to Tronnoe, which is the meet- i
ing point. !
"Tho owners simply seo that their ;
herds do not get away. Hut this in- ,
vusion of reindeer is viewed wiili !
alarm by Seaudidiivian farmers, who
have their crops tramphd down. The !
farmer may sue for il ini igo, but i
be ob ains a judgment in bis favoi
how is be to find (he defendant?
Some seven or eight years ago a ,
special law wss passed lo meet tho
cao. The country is divided into '
districts, and if the owners of ihc do- I
structive animals cannot be found, the 'f
district is held for the damage, each
family paying a proportion to Ihc '
number of reindeer it possesses."
Ilurpei's Young l'coplo.
During the lust two scars ihe num
ber of members of the Hiitish Socictv
for the l'rolcotion of Hiids lias in- i
et cased from 000 lo nearly 70W. j
NEW WORLD GATES.
The Ellis Island Immigrant Sta
tion Has Many Oddities.
Hov; the Arrivals from Foreign
Shores aro Received.
Tho immigrant station at Iv is Island
comprises a little world all in itself.
The steerage passengers arc brought
to the Maud on barges, and arc led to
a large room upstairs in the lamiliar
building, where they lire a-k''d to
legi-ter. Tin; physical cxainina1 ion
w liieh l' dlow s is searching and thor
ough. I f (he subj. et p.is.es, he and
his latni y are permitted to move.
in duo eoiir.se liie new arrival is
brought bef"re the idlieers at llio do
teiition d 'sic, where he must answer
nimtlicr li-t of questions and show his
money. The luoii"y changer does a
strange business, bundling the cur
rency of the civili.i-d world. Ho will
lake li.tiik of England Holes w ith the
fane lea liucss th it he handle S nit Ii
American currency. Soudi American
money is about tic same s !. and
shape us American piper, but. il is
printed in cinnamon brown and slale
blue, (ieru iin currency is printed in
black and green. I'ad ni note aro of
many sizes and shapes, printed in pale
blue and carmine, liit-siau rubles are
gridiroiicd with as many hues as there
lire colors in the rainbow. The notes
t f the li uiqiie do Fiance ate made of
white paper, printed in black and
blue, with numerous allegorical pict
ures on the face and back.
As soon us a ship arrives, and the
men, women and children arc fairly
within tlr; receiving mum, an attend
ant, mounting liiiuclf on a table, in a
conspicuous po-itiuii, call out ids
list of letteis, Too immigrants eag
erly crowd about b in. Ex pee am y,
hope and fear are written upon their;
ficrs. On days when the (i'liuan
steamer., come in, llm mail is I iri nian ;
on French days it is French; on Ital
ian days Italian, and soon. Strange,
rude foreign names ro-otnid through
the wide h ill. Those who get letter
retire to convenient nooks in the ile-
tulillilll -(. . , .,...! fr'o,,
their friends in Am-i ica.
One of the most interesting' places
at the station is the food section.
Many of the strangers bring with
them food of various soils, hard
bread and bologna, but for other,
who have a cent or two to buy, the
counter comes in b indy.
Once in every two or throe days,
over the seas, oouie a pair of Hoeing
lovers, who, after duo consideration,
lesolve not to outer the Ian I of Ihe
free until they h ive been 111 ide one.
Ellis Island weddings ate one of tho
unique features of the weil-kliowu
station. Th 'ie is on.' room where the
prospective bride and groom usually
go when the e-rriu uiy is to bo per
formed. Il is reached by a long hall
in a corner of the building. Many a
couple has be n united In re. If the
young- v.-oin .u il.sjie (ho liles of
soin,' chin cb, she i sent li one of
the numerous mi-s:oii h iiises along
Stub; slice', here she timls a pa-tor
to marry her in pn nipt order.
Soiih I iine-, too, :i iil mm l ies in
older lo siav in the land of her choice,
America. erv olleu she cannot pass
the linaiK i ll I'xamlnai ion, and, having'
matters explained lo b r. she linully
decides she will marry some good fel
low, who will be her piolccior, guide
mid f i ieinl.
Sometimes, a child will cross the
foa under the care of a stranger. At
the immigrant station th couple must
1 tut. The child is to go to one part
of the country, ihe friend lo the other.
Sad scenes of this son are aluio-l daily
marled. It the waif is too young to
bo trusted to I emeinlier her destina
tion, one ot the i lli iuls places around
her neck a tag, telling llio story, and
she is foi wauled u.tich alter the
fashion of live baggage. Tiiere is a
telegraph 111 "e, where detained peo
ple collllll uiiiealo w i I h friends. Tiiey
are fed, free of chat go, al luncheon
time, by tbe author t;o. The inea'
consists of a bowl of soup and dougli
liecent siutisiies show that fully one
lentil of titir agricultural l.-ihorcis are
immigrant. Estimating the source of
wealth of each immigrant as equal lo
that of a farm baud, per head,
il wou'd follow' thai the value of the
8 (1(111,01)11 j cople w ho left England,
Scotland and Ireland in III years be
tween 1S117 and I f7 ti w i. Inii.inii),.
(."io, or an average of l7,"),t!iiii,oii(l t)
a ieiir. During the past ear ihe
French have brought the mosi money
on the average, the Hungarian tbe
least, the sum being s.Vi per capita in
tho foiiuer in-iaiice and bill 1 1 in
Ihe It. tor. Occasionally the million
th' find a traveller w h i has from .fO al
lo 1,000 stone I :twnv when !.: 111-
rives at Ihe Island, but the majority of
the immigrants liavo barely $60.
New York Recorder.
A lltiller Who Stood on His Dignity.
A man who helped to muko a
curious diplomatic episode in the duvs
of Louis Fhiiippe's reign, died 11 few
days ago in l' .ssy, a fcubmb of I'aris.
lie was known among his neighbors
simply as Francois, and for half a
century or more bo lived at leisure on
tho prolits accruing to him from n
duel which he had fought in his youth
w ith tbo father of lie; present Earl of
i: cbci ry. .Secretary of State for
Foreign Affairs in Mr. Gladstone'
Francois bad resigned his place ns a
iion-coiiiinissioiie l lli ;er in the French
cavalry to iissttnie the more Initiative
duties of butler in the house of a con
spicuous Fiench statesman. One day
old L n il Ilosebery came to see his
ina-:er about the business of the Ilrit
ish government. Fruneois dec'arod
dial he could not deliver Lord R osi -ben's
caul to his master, who was
then engaged, and advised Lord R 0
hory, whom be did not recogniz", to
secure a letter granting un audience
an I 1 el urn letter.
Ti.is was too much for the Hritish
statesman, and thrusting his card into
Francois's hand, he commanded him
angrily lodcliverit at once. Francois,
after starting nway with the card,
stopped to read the naliio on il. Lord
I'oscberry reproved him so sharply
that Francois rep iod impudently. An
exchange of angry words followed,
and the muster of tho hou-e came to
the icreption room to learn the cail-o
of the disturbance. Francois was dis
charged at once. On the next day
Lord It iscberry received this note.
'Sir: Yesterday 1 was a i-ervaiit,
today I am a fro - man. I no longer
allow your insult to pass. As a
former officer in the cavalry of the
French army 1 demand satisfaction.''
Lord lloscbery accepted the chal
lenge, and Iwo shots were exchangee1
without injury lo anybody concerned.
Francois was satislie I, but Lord II e
bejy wn nettled at Ihe thought that
hi antagonist might al any time lay
aside the dignity of a retired officer
io become a bn'lcr again, ami inns
cxposo him lo the reproach of having
fought with a servant. IF', therefore
gave Fiancois an annuity of francs on
the condition of his abstaining from
do nestle service in tbu future, and
thus preserving bis personality as a
retired man of honor. Francois ful
filled his part of the agreement as
faithfully iis did Lord H iscbory, and
m ver woiked afterward; at least, that
is what is allirmed by Ihe French
newspapers which have incorporated
'his story in their obituary notices of
the butler of honor New Y'ork
Fooled by 1111 Ail 1st.
F.i nest F. -Neville le ts this gold '
story of an artist') prank at tbe Na- ,
tiotial Academy of Design in New
bines was sauntering about anil ',
chanced to meet a friend, a deaf 1
mute, who was cmver-ing with a 1
c un 1 i:t 11 i 0 it in sign language, drooling
Jones cordially, the deaf inntcdiew!
out a note bcolv and pencil, and, after :
a brief pencil and paper conversation, !
introduced his companion by the same '
moans, and shortly after withdrew. ;
,1 one and Ihc stranger discussed tho
pictuies pleasant. y for twenty minutes
or more, meanwhile covering the;
backs of sundry envelopes ami scraps .
of paper w ith their p.'licilings, when !
a font th character in this little di sum i
came upon the scene a friend of
Jones' new made acquaintance. j
'Hollo, (ieore,.. !" said the dumb
man to the new. Miner, familiarly;
'how do you like the pictures this ;
liy Jove!" exclaimed Jones in sur
prise ; "can you ink ?"
"Well, I should smile," said the
gent 'email, equal y mii prised, as lie
hislily put away pencil and paper. :
"Aren't you deaf :"'d dumb?-'
"Not by a big sight.'' Jones replied, j
h, 'listing into Ins pooet an envelope!
nearly coveied with pencil marks; j
but I'll ki'l Dummy next time 1 sea
An Ain'ulioiis Hoy.
JllV H.iy-l'. pa, may I study elo
cution? Frond Fnpa liub'od you may, my
hov, if you wi-h. You desire to be
come a groat orator, don't you?'
"Yes, that's it."
"Some day, perhaps, have your
Video ringing through the balls of
"1 shouldn't rate for lliat. I want
to bo an after-dinner speaker."
"Ah, you me ambitious for soi'ia'
"No, I wivit Hie dinner-"," liuml
The Honsfi of Never.
The house of Never is built, tbfjr st.
Just otst the hills of th By-and-By,
Its gates are reached by a devious way.
Hidden from all but an angel's eye.
It winds about nml in ud out
The lii I Is and dales to sever.
Uuce over the hi. Is of tlieHr-and-liy
And your re lost in the house ul
Tbe house of Never is fitted with waits,
With just-lii-a-miiiutes nnd pretty soons.
The noise of their wings as they bent tho
Conn s back to earth in the afternoons
Wben shadows fly across the sky
And rushes, rude endeavor,
To ijiiesti.n the hills of the Hy-ftmt-Hi-As
they n.-k for the house of
The house of Never was built with tours,
And lost in the hills of the Hy-aiid-By
Are a million hopes nml a million fears.
A buliy's sin iie and a woman's cry.
I hc winding way seems bright to-
Then darkness fall foreer,
J'or over the hills of the By-nnd-By
borrow waits in the house of
Chicago Dl-pat Cb.
As a uilc The yard-stick.
A poor barber is not able to shave
S.ife and sound A light conducted
over the telephone-
Some cf the strongest attachments
in life aic madu by officers of 'lie law.
A fly bus K.,000 eyes, but it never
is able lo sec its way to got around tho
The telephone-girl has an extensive
railing acquaintance in the most ex
The saying "A thing of beauty is a
joy forever," docs not apply loa band
tome woman with a hot leuiper.
"Theie is a groat deal of wear nnd
tear in this biisiues-,"' said I lie dry
goods salesman as ho ripped off a few
yards ol calico.
The coiitra.llctioiiS in onr slang
Should nnike us somewhat humble j
When we "get on" to anything
"lis thin they any wc "tumule."
Toiinii) l'aw, I have found out
whero the litllu birds jro to when
they leave. Mr. Figg Well, where?
Tommy To Wing land.
"1 don't see why you call bim
greedy when he gave you bis nice
huge apple 10 divide." "Thai's just
il. Of course I had to givo him tbo
biggest picco then.'"
Servant Flense, niu'ain, (hero's ft
poor man at tho door with wooden
legs. Y'oiiug II oii-cwifo Why, Ua
betie, what can we do with wooden
leg? Tell him we don't any.
"You find the typewriter useful in
your business?'' "1 should say so.
When a bore comes in I give the op
erator the tip, and the machine makes
so iiiue'i noise he oati'l hear himself
"Hello!" said tho earth when a
South American disturhaiij was
brought to bis attention. "I will have
to got up more than one revolution a
day if 1 am lo keep up wl b the.
A Horse With an Artificial live.
A line-looking brown trebling owned
by lr. Waller W. White bad one of
bis eyes injured about Iwo yearn ago.
and gradually lost ibo sight in Hint
optic. The case was brought to (he
attention of Dr. Ward, Ihe S nte Vet
erinarian, some weeks ago. It. is a
d.ftieult matter lo secure artificial eyes
for horses that wili not warp, bleak,
or fall out. Dr. Waid,know that the
proper article could be produced in
England, and in reply to a letter the
delicate piece of compound was re.
reived a few days ago. It is made of
a composition of vulcanite, and will
not change color or become easily In
jured. Several days ago dried tip the
inj.iie I eye, and placed a sninll circular
piece ef vulcanite in too socket so ns lo
accustom Ihe horse lo the new sensti.
lion. The imported eye was put in &(
4 o'clock yesterday afternoon. Dr.
Ward put a few drops of oil on tbo
disklike arrangement, ami, with the aid
of a lancet, laised the eyelids nnd
placed the eye in position. The arti
licial adornment looks exceedingly
natural. Baltimore American.
A Joke on (he l'cdagojuo.
Doctor F. C. Wines, founder of Ilia
National Frison Association, bad
formerly boon princi,,al of a bcys'
school. Oue day bo bad occasion
lo "tionncu" 11 boy, and il is supposed
did the work thoroughly. Tbo Ind
took his revenge in a way that tho
doctor himself could not help laugh
ing at. D tc'at Wines' front door
boro a plate 011 which was the one
w id "Wines." Tho boy wrote an
addition in big letters, so that the ln
sciption I'm: Wines nnd Other
L rkcrs. -Argonaut.