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PlTTSBORO1, CHATHAM CO., N. C, AUGUST 31, 18.W.
The Harbor .Mother.
Tho little bouts from tho ocean glide
Hurrying home with the cventido
Fur shelter ami rest
To til" peaceful hrcllst
Of th( hnrl"r-m"tli'r, whose iirmii stnt'.'b
As sho quiets each quivering, wonry wins,
lliii is tin1 song that I lnnr her sing,
While tin- stum hang 1w,
Aiitt tlu night winds blow,
Anil strong ami silent tin- slow tides swing :
"Itest, little boats, through the doi'l'i'Iiing
R.'st till the smile of the sun in bright j
'J'lien away and uwny
Through the loan, fair day !
Nothing tthall hinder your cuger flight.
".Sleep nw and rest ;
For Hint Is best.
And calm and safe is tin- harbr.r-hrut."
tlmee (iomhviii in tho Century.
The Minister's Substitute.
BY KATE M. CI.PAltr.
"Well, M Lit 1 is it, dear?"
Japhet Seribner laid down tho morn
ing paper nnd betim. d proudly at his
only daughter over 1';b gold rimmed
If i' had a good deal of reason to lie
proud of her. She whs n beautiful
fcirl, mid the best mid most ainialile of
daughters, aud only the day previous
he hud carried oil' tho highest honors
fit tho graduoting exercises nt Lake
"Please, pnpa, I wanted to tell you
"Out with it. Svl.il. )o you wutit
Borne pocket luoiiey?-'
Hut i 1 1 Sybil hesitated. She stood
1 y the big rosewood bookcase in tho
lil.rary, tapping one little silver
buckled slipper nervously on tho
Turkish rug, and twirling the spray of
liouey suckle she held.
She was tall and fair, with lutuinouti
piny eyes, curly, reddish gold liair,
nud an expression at one intellectual,
resolute and decidedly sweet.
"No, it is not aliout money, papa"
an 1 she was rosily pink from the
riifUiii.tr at the neck of her chullis
gown to tilt' reliellioiis tendlils on her
fort -head ' I I I'm engaged !"
"What I" roared 'laphet Scrilmer.
He wa.s not beaming now. He had
started to hi;-, feet. Hf looked uppul
Sybil hud faced the guzo of several
hundred people tho previous day,
snug, played the harp, and read the
aledietory without a tremor. Hut
this was different.
She Hushed harder than ever ns
ehe l.odded and looked a t her father.
"Engaged .' You must be crazy,
child. Ho you know how old you
"Exactly. An absurd age - absurd !
And talking of being engaged ! You
fduin't he cngoged with my cousetit u
ilny before you're twenty-five. Tell
liim, if he still wants you, to
Come around then."
"You want him to serve seven vears
for me, pupa?"
"I Want Von to leulli sense."
"You said yesterday, papa, that
there was not another girl who gradu
ntcd as sensible ns I."
"Well, I'm finding out to-day what
li mistake I mu le. Who is he, any
The (,'hl laughed out heartily.
"It is time for you to ask. He is stay
ing nt the Theological University, and
his inline "
"That's enough. Never mind his
Iiauie. If he is one of those penniless
young fellows over there who is study
ing for the ministry, X am more deter
mined than ever you shall have noth
ing to say to him until he him proven
"Hut he has proven himself!" she
Cried, aiiddeiily becoming serious and
a little indignant. "He has been do
ing missionary work among the Indi
ans iu the Northwest. He is only vis
ting tho Theological University. He
has a splendid record for Zeal and
courage and intensity of purpose.
"I can't spend a whole day listen
ing to h list of his virtues!" Japhet
Seribner interrupted, impatiently.
"Tell him to come and see me when
yon are twenty-live. If 1 tiud him tol
erably intelligent, I'll talktohimthen."
And lie strutted into the hall, put.
(hi his big 1 m ii ii in ii hut, aud took an
Left alone, Sybil sat down nud
fried. Two minutes afterwards she
"Tolerably intelligent ! This comes
of boarding at the school. If papa
had eer met Alfred, he would not
hpeak so sarcastically. I know Min
nie Merivale'a father thought him just
the cleverest of men. I'm in reg
ular quu.idory. I love Alf, and I
would like to marry him this summer
nud go to Montana with him in the
full, Ittit I would like t gratify my
father nlso. Oh, Gertie, I did not
hear you !"
She sprung up to greet the daughter
of the resident rector.
"What wero you crying about,
"Was I crying? Since you have
found ino out, 'listen to my tale of
win' !' "
Gertie was all sympathy when she
heard tho distressful tale.
Suddenly a happy thought struck
her. She sprang up, seized Sybil by
the waist aud weJit whirling down the
room iu a mad dance.
"Whatever is the matter, you unac
countable girl? "
(tertie paused, punting.
"Don't you see how delightfully it
can all be arranged? I'apa's health is
breaking of late and he has decided on
r European trip. I have frequently
heard him speak iu terms of the high
est praise of Alfred Vaughn. Now,
your father and niv father ure the best
of friends, and each values deeply t In
opinion of the other. If only pupa
would agree to have Mr. Vaughn
called iu his place ! And if only your
father would fall down and honor tin
temporary pastor of Grace church, as
ull have hitherto done who have come
under the Bpell of his eloquence and
magnetism why, it might nil turn out
exactly satisfactory. "
Although the possibility gave Sibyl
hope, she could not share in her
"There ure too nianv 'ifs,'" she said
However whether it was fate
feminine wire-pulling, or destiny
which persists iu shaping our ends
Miss Seribner heard announced the
following Sunday from the pulpit the
fact she hud hopelessly longed to hear.
Alfred Vaughn was to take the place
of the rector during his enforced vn
cation. The departing minister intro
duced his successor w ith many eul
gtstic reniiirks as to the voung mans
powers ami mental brilliance.
Her heart throbbed and her brain
whirled as she walked sedately home
beside her father, who spoke much on
the subject of the Hew pastor.
"Eli.ubcth," he said to his wife at
dinner, "I think we ought to place
th" gilest chamber at the disposal of
Mr. Vaughn while he serves iu Mr.
Decile's stead. "
"Mr. Vaughn!" ejaculated Mrs.
Seribner. "Wasn't that the name of
the young gentleman you met at the
I Merivules, Syb?"
But Sybil pressed her mother's foot
under the table and abruptly changed
The following day Japhet Seribner
brought home Alfred Vaughn to
dinner, introduced him to Mrs. Serib
ner ami daughter, ami triumphantly
installed him in the best room.
Very aggrieved was Japhet Seribner
when his daughter departed that even
ing to spend S week w ith (tertie Decile.
"Now that her father is gone, she
will be so lonely!" Sybil declared,
hy p icritically.
Her father missed Sybil terribly,
ne played chess with the minister's
substitute, found himself wishing he
had such a son, aud capped the climax
ono evening by telling Vaughn the
story of his daughter's ridiculous at
tachment. "You say yon do not know her
lover?" Vaughn questioned, quietly.
"I don't," avowed the choleric old
fellow. "What's more, I don't want
"You might like him if you did."
"Impossible! If he were a good,
straightforward, upright, generous
fellow like you "
"Do you mean to soy yon are will
ing I should win her?"
"Nonsense! You don't know her.
Hut Mr. Docno has told me so much,
1 know you. And I'd bo proud and
happy to see you cut out that other
The next evening Alfred Vaughn
walked into the parlor of tho Scrib
ners w ith Sybil blushing and holding
to his arm.
"Eh!" cried Japhet, scenting a sur
prise. "What's this?"
"I've taken your advice, sir, ami cut
out the other man!" said young
"And I've married the other man !"
declared Sybil. "Kiss me, pupa!" -Saturday
The Itritish Soldier.
Military imprisonment in the Itrit
ish Army is very different from the
civil kind, with more rigorous dis
cipline, worse diet, and far more slav
ish labor, of which the most common
form is 'Vhot drill." This, while ap
pearing to be a simple thing enough,
is capable of producing an extreme
amount of agony. The following is
the lununer of it, as described by an
expert iu the Philadelphia Times:
A number of soldier prisoners are
stood up in the prison yard, at dis
tances of eight to nine feet from each
other, a cannon ball weighing about 10
pounds, resting on the ground at the
feet of each one. The drill master
gives the word of command, and each
prisoner stoops, picks up his ball, raises
it almost to his head, carries it for
ward to the next man's station, mid
puts it on the ground there. He then
fnt os about, walks back to his own
place, where he finds another like
ball brought there by the next one of
the gang. This ball he picks up,
raises and again takes forward and
deposits, the process being repeated as
long ns the taskmaster chooses. The
constant stooping, the endless lifting,
raising aud putting down the heavy
weights b me after a little while nl
iuost unbearable. It is a heart-break
ing as well as a back-breaking business.
Other punishments, including severe
(logging, may be indicted, especially
on refaretory prisoners, but the shot
drill is the most customary.
Tl liniax of trouble iu the English
soldier's life, however, is probably
reached in the matter of marriage,
which plunges hiiii into worse ditliculty
than all other alllietioiis. First, mar
riage is only allowed to men who have
nerved seven years and hold at least
one good conduct badge. and then they
must obtain the Colon. l's consent,
which is never given, if any exeu- e can
be found for refusing it, it being n
standing rule to keep the inilllied roll
us small as possible. Still, ninny young
soldiers Hud wives, ju.-t like other
.voung men, and accept the inevitable
dire poverty, us well us tho most cer
tain separation when ordered on for
eign serv ice. When this oceers 1jie
poor young wife is h it to run th"
gauntlet of suffering and want alone,
us best she may, tin result being the
ruin of the lives of both. This it is
which makes the departure of a troop
ship a s t tw of sadness, which teii.hr
heurted men should studiously uvoid"
The ( onil Sen.
In no quart"!' of the world are the
partly -buried ocean wonders more lav
ishly displaced in all their endless va
ricty than oiT this northt atei n coast
of Terra Atistrulis, within the (.rent
Harrier Keof iu the Coral Sea. As
the boat is launched to take us ashore,
the wonders commence at once. It is
surely some fairy forest where t ltlli
Kings court Princesses in lishly guise,
or water babies sit and pout oil So mo
coral boulder. (r is it a submarine
llovvcr garden where the mermaids
Deep down in clear, bright water
wondrous shapes and colors are seen,
at first iudistinctly like a tinted pho
tograph out of focus; then, us the
water gets shallower ulid shallower,
more and more distinctly llash the
ewel tires, ami the picture is com
plete. Large tint bowls of milk-white
coral lirst attract the eye. Then oth
ers with branching aiitb rs like u fallen
deer, "idy the fairy herd there are ly
ing buried in a hiigh, confused mass.
Some are covered with ten thousand
sharp pinnacles of a light piirpl.v color,
cuch pinnacle having a bright blue
eye (or what looks like uu eye) at the
All in a sea of emerald, this dreiiui of
enchantment. We fear before we sec
half the glory of it we might awake
ami, alas! forget too soon. There
light aud feathery brunches of fern
like coral are blushin ( a soft pink or
pule nasturtium yellow. Here large
solid masses of brain coral, round ami
white, the surface ineriisted or en
graved with the most delicate lacti
tracings; and others green and shaped
like u course moss. (!ood Words.
A Literary Sandwich Man.
"That," said u publisher, "reminds
me oi u siory mni anoui v M. .lames
O'Hrien and Fletcher Harper, then
the head of the Harper publishing
house. O'l'.rieii had a habit of always
finding his way down to tho Harper
office when he was unsteady, us vou
cull it, and borrowing money. One
.lay the poet went down to Franklin
Square and begged Fletcher Harper to
let him have Harper refused,
and this made O'lirien mad. He
swore around, and linally seeing a
large placard with 'Livingstone's
Africa' printed on one side, he took it,
turned it over, aud on the blank side
Irew in large black li tters the wolds:
'One of Harper's Authors.
I am starving. '
"Before any one was uwarc of his
intention, OTrien had attached a
string to his cardboard, hung it about
his neck, walked to the street ami pa
raded up ami down before the publish
ing house. Of course u large croud
gathered, but O'Biieu was obdurate
against all entreaties.
"'Won't stop till I get some money
from Harper,' said hi-, aud ho didn't.
"A compromise wu. soon if. t I
through the medium .it a J", bill." -New
A Carious Occupation ia tho
Shaving, Clipping and Shampoo
ing Fashion's Tots.
Tlx crossing the Seimi at the Solferi
no bridge in I'aris, you s e hii odd
looking boat pulled up nt the side of
the water. At first it looks like some
kind of camd boat ; but it is too small
to be that.
As you stand wondering what this
queer boat can be - a boat with a little
house iu it a In ly with a black poodle
comes down the steps from the bridge
and approach s the boat. Immediately
n man appears nt the door of the cabin
and bows to the la ly. lie also speaks
to the dog and the dog wags his tail
and says iu his best manner that he is
Very happy to be there.
It is a warm tiny and tho poodle is
punting with the heat of his thick win
ter coat of hair. His mistress unfas
tens his collar and sits down on one
of a row of chairs m ar the boat, and
you wonder what 1his performance
Then t'ue man, who is n dog barber,
licensed by the government, takes the
punting poodle under uu awning at the
end of the boat and sits down near a
little green box. He opens this box
aud takes a comb from a large' assort
ment of shears, brushes, etc., and
holding the dog across his knees he
gently combs the long hair for a few
minutes. Then lie calls his wife, who
comes out with n pair of bright clip
pers. Th" j .He holds perfectly still
as tho man spreads out the little black
hairy toes and the woman carefully
clips between them and up his legs,
leaving bunches of hair jus! above the
The barber turns him over and
twists him around many times, but al
ways the little dog remains exactly as
he is put, while the sharp clippers run
over him and the hair falls down in
big bunches. They are giving him a
very stylish dip; they leave several
little hunches of hair on his hau.- 'hes
and nearly all there is on his fore
shoulders and neck. His face is clip
lied entirely with the exception of a
mustache, which gives him quite the
air of a cavalier.
When it is all finished the poodle
breathes a little sigh of r.-li.-f and starts
to run to his mistress. But the bar
ber laughs, shakes his le ad and says:
"Oh, no, sir; you've got to be sham
Then the barber rolls up his trou
sers, takes the dog iu his arms, and
wades into the river. This isn't so
much fun for the poodle. He groans
and sighs, and thinks how cold the
water is going to feel. But the bar
ber douses him iu, and holds him by
the tail while ho swims und paddles
around and gets soaking wet. He has
to have his head ducked too.
Then he is taken out beside a tub.
where he is soaped aud scrubbed. The
barber holds him between his knees
and shampoos him till tie' mice black
dog is u mass of white soapsuds.
Then he is again taken intothe river
and rinsed. Next the barber gives
him a good rubbing with a roue.li
towel. Alter that he carefully combs
und brushes him, net forgetting to
twist the ends of his mustache to
make it stand out like a dandy's.
The little poodle fairly dances for
joy when he is turned over to his
mistress, and she puts on his collar.
There are many different styles of
"cuts." There is one where only the
hind quarters are clipped; mil there
is the complete "hot weather clip,"
which leaves only the hair on th its,
the mustache aud a few bunches on
Some of the "cuts" ure very queer.
For instance, ii little reddish brown
dog is clipped to resemble a lion, and
his shaggy mane ami his tail, with a
switch oil the end of it, give him a
most ferocious look which is hardly in
keeping with his diminutive size.
The prices lor the dilVereiit cuts
vary according to the amount of work.
An ordinary clip for a poodle costs
SI.""; but if he is to have many
bunches of hair left and is ut nil
troublesome, it may amount to !?-.!".
A shampoo for a small dog costs
fifty cents, and from that it increases
to if 1. 20 for a big shaggy hound.
There are many dog barbers along the
Seine, but the one who lives in the
queer boat is the fashionable one and
rarely clips any but dogs belonging to
the best Parisian society.- New York
The British soldier receives doily as
rations forty-four ounces of food ; bis
nit. twenty ounces ; me.it, fourteen:
peas er b: an. sev. n; sugar, two;
The Shopkeepers of Fez.
The sun was sinking, and one by
, one the sleeping shopkeepers seemed
to awaken to the fact ihut another day
of toil was gone. For a moment they
I hustled about, covering their wures
with cloths, and then proceeded to
! shut up shop. Th'-y t,,k hold of a
j rope suspended from the roof und
gently let themselves down, feeling
cautiously for a foothold. The av.-a-age
distance from the lloor of a booth
in the Imiiius to the ground is about
two fe.t; but they are very brittle,
these merchants of Fez, and they let
! themselves down very gently, ns
though fearful that the slightest jar or
jolt would break their bones. Some
of the merchants even keep ill their
lilt If six by four booths a private step
ladder, by means of which they effect
, their exit., and their eiltraiiccs. When
I the booth is securely closed and can
i fully locked, tho merchant scribbles
all over tliu door with red chalk very
my -t' l ioiis and cabtili ..tie characters,
which do not mean "Will be back iu
an hour," or "flipped out across the
str. it for live minutes," but ure rather
iu the nature of threats to evil-do is
and jinn of what misfortune will over
take them should they dare to break
open the doors during his abs. nee.
And now our shopkeeper shook him
self thoroughly, as though his limbs '
were still benumbed with sleep; he ar
ranged his huik jauntily about his
shoulders, and then cheerfully trotted
oil' up the narrow street. Soiuetimes
I have seen them, ill the gla l antici
pation of a tilling dinner, purse up
their lips, as though th y too f. It tho
absolute necessity of whistling like all
other w. ll-eoiidilet -d shopkei -pi rs the
world over when they turn the key on
their shops for the day; but it is not j
advisable to whistle in Fez. The proe- j
tice bus fall- ii into disrepute, owing to
the general belief among the Moors
that people who whi tie are calling up
spirits and evil spirits from the invis
ible world ; and so it happens that
pie who whistle are v.ry apt to have
curved knives stuck into th. in as they
walk iu the d.ti-kii"si- of the narrow
streets. I ('. iituiy.
Arab Horse iiiiinslii.
The Arab, w hen he is a hors nian, is
a superb one, even though In' does not
conn: within our canons of the art.
When the horse is only a means of
transportation, or u beast of burden,
the Arab is no better than his ilk else
where. When, as iu the il.-s.Tt, the
horse is his p.-t, his companion, his
dream by day and night the Arab is
iu a sense incomparable. No master
can be more kind. No dog is mm-.'
intelligent than the dark, liquid-eyed
steed he has bred and trained, whosv
ancestor, a hundred generations buck,
his ancestors have loved and trusted.
This horse would that we human be
ings had not be.-n civilized out of so
many of our animal qualities! will
follow him day and night. He would
fret out his soul at being hitched to a
post, and his master would scorn to
tic him. He will stand immovable in
the midst of .l inger und fright which
would luakeauy civ ili.'ed horse frantic.
He will carry his m ister through lire
and water. He will untlineliiugly face
wounds and death, so long us the hand
which has fed him is placed upon hii
tieck. He will stand over his disabled
lord till help arrives, or le will g.:
alone to seek It. He will kneel fo
him to mount, oiul he will bear
bravely home, if h foils a sacrifice ol
his devotion at the door of his mas
tor's tent. Th"se ore not always fo
ld, s. The horse, treated us he
should be generation after generation,
develops a rare int dligenee, mil ha.
as ii.. He an alV.-cti.ni us the dog. But,
us above-said, even iu Arabia the horse
is the pearl of great price. Thric.
happy the caliph vv ho truly claims t.
own one. - Harper's Magazine.
Ovcrnlu'lniiiiir Bigness of the Fair.
To visit the Fair with profit or com
fort vou must leave uiir sense of duti
behind. Whoever goes there with in
tent to thoroughly "do it" is laving
up for lii'nsell' anguish of mind and
the complete annihilation of his mus
cular and m-rvoiis force. It is far too
big for any question of conscience to
be allowed to cuter in. Its bigness is
b, v i n 1 description. No words or
pictures can tell the storv of its size.
Experience alone can teach it. You
must go there day after day, to return
at night with tired eyes rnd aching
limbs and with the bitter and ever-in-creasing
knowledge that us an exhibi
tion you can never grasp it. Where
other exhibitions have been satisfied
with a display of an hundred cubic
feet of any special article, Chicago
must have at b ast an acre. Of what
ever the world has seen before this
time it now sees larger specimens and
more of them. This menus for the
x isitor nioi e steps, more fatigue, more
confusion, more tune and more money .
l'EAHLS OF THOUGHT.
Ignorance is a prolong! infancy.
Coarse kindness is at least better
than coarse anger.
Proud hearts nud lofty mountains
are always barren.
ltevcr. nc. , however sweet, always
costs more than it is worth.
(iieat good is often unaccomplished
because it is not attempted.
He who seems not to himself nioi i
than he is, is more than he seems.
Judge no man because the disposi
tion of his mind is not like your own
He who is most charitable in his
idgmellt is generally the least unjust.
It isn't so much what a man has that
makes him happy as it is what he
Leisure for men of business and
business for men of leisure would cure
The only thing which everyone can
do, and the only thing which anyone
need do, is his duty.
It is a sign of wis lorn to be willing
to receive instruction; the most intel
ligent sometimes stand iu need of it.
Hett.-r followthe sternness of a truth
than the glittering delusion of a lie.
Men often follow- lies bee inse they
A true conviction, anything thor
oughly believed, is personal. It be
comes a part of the believer's charac
ter us well us a possession of his brain ;
it makes him another and a deeper
Wh.-n the flesh presents th. e with
delights, then present thyself with
dangers; when the world pos-ess.-
thee with vain Imps, then poses.
thyself with true fears. The way to
be safe is never to be secure.
She Had Found Hi in (tut.
Belle was an Irish setter. All a tine
dark brown color, with a white star on
her breast. She had great, long, silky
brown ears, and altogether was a beau
ty. Better than this, she was Very
knowing. Aud, better still, she was
very faithful and alVeetioliate. Her
muster seemed to love her greatly. He
always fed her from his own hand on
the daintiest of beefsteaks and chops,
und, big us she vvus, ulwitvs made her
sleep on his ow n bed. After years of
nil this petting and coddling Belle's
master determined to move away and
leave the dog behind. Perhaps he
hadn't talked tibout this in Belle's
presence. Anyhow, sin; had not un
derstood about it. ami when her mas
ter's last load of furniture hud gone
and she was left alone in the empty
house, she seemed to think it her duty
to guard it. If a workman whom
she knew very well hud not be.-n with
them, the persons who came to clean
the house for the next coiners would
have had a hard time of it. For ner.r
ly four days Belle refused to leave tin
house, though very hungry, and tempt
ed with food. Then she heard her
friend Tommy telling another man
how meanly she had been deserted, for
her master was never coming back.
With her handsome heiul laid upon
her outstretched pows, with curs ere.'t
Olid eyes attentive. Belle heard it all.
She slowly rose, and without turning
to right or left, marched out and
across the fields to a hou.se where she
had often been before, and there took
up her abode. lit lie could not talk
about it, but words could not have
said more plainly l lint she now under
stood and resented the treatment she
had received. She certainly must
have understood Tom m.v 's words, just
us a person would. It was a good
while before she recovered her spirits,
ami a year later when her master pass
ed through the place, she absolutely re
fused to let him touch her. At the
same time she jumped with joy ut
meeting another of the family.- New
Millionaire Learns to Swim.
Says the Philadelphia Bccord : Pro
fessor Julius Payne, the well-known
swimming master, has since ls."S
taught till.ltll" people hon to swim, and
he tells a good many interesting anec
dotes. One of his most interesting
pupils was the late Joseph W. Prexel,
a brother of A. .1. Pre.xel. "Mr.
Drexel came to me nianv xcars ago,"
said the professor, "on.! told me he
was anxous to It-am to swim. 'I have,
determine 1 to master the art,' he said,
'and 1 thi not want you to stand any
trilling from me. If at any time I
should be late for my lesson I want
you to fine ine SI".' (Ill the day of the
third lesson Mr. Prexel was 10 min
utes late, 'f must tine you SI", Mr.
Drexel,' said I. 'Very well,' said he,
and he paid his line. He paid '10 iu
tines before he h-tu tied to swim, hut
he finally became one of the best pu
pils I tr had."
Parent ul Advice.
Keelin' streukid, uui't ye. Jolmiiv?
Wall, this is the way 1 view it,
That til"' (Jills would like to love y",
J I nt you've got to make eni do il.
Duu'l K" hrowsin' ul a dist.-men
lu some .iiFur' way olT yonder,
Doh't believe wllllt idiots tell VII
"Abseu' .' makes the heart grow fonder.'
Step up t" 'em Johnny, smarter -
Kerry Kate give you tic mitten ;
She'd said "Yes." as sure us g..s,. I
If you hadn't been s.e-li kiin-n.
Yea will learn to view this mutter
liilliebv j.'s tie- way i view- it.
That tin- gals would like to love
Uat you've got to make 'em do it.
Everybody's Im .und to have 'eul
All, at any rule, but few arc;
An' vv'en I was young an' lively
I was taken jest us you ui'-.
An t went in.' popped it to her
Skeered completely "Ut of l.lll'ir',
Tr.'iiil'liu' lik .. fi igliteiie.l rabbit,
lilusliin' like a red tenant. t,
After sli-' had t.." me "No, sir.''
1 Wll- je-t about us you be,
fioiu' round limp an" kinder dumpish,
J eelit,' like a blu-l-d In.oby.
I tut I llu'ly spunked ii i iirugM
I. ike ii nam to go an' win In r -
All' -lie's I ) blessin' to me
I emi t say u word agin' her!
"Idd I get her'.-" Now- you're .-i.-i.y.
Jlo Vol! s'pose I'd get another
Weil I loved the gill like 1 did ;-
(in an' nsk her---lie - yr niotlier.
.Kinec that time I t'-ll lie yoiu,g-ter
Jest the way 1 alius view it.
That llio g.-ils would like t" lov- 'em
Ilut they've got to make 'em do iu
.Sum V. l'oss in Yankee JSIadc.
Generally in the van The man who
.rives the furniture wagon.
Tom --"Yoiir best girl's father is a,
bank cashier, isn't he?" Dick "Yes.
H.-r small brother is a teller."
"These trousers nre awfully short."
"Well you t.dd my collector th" other
day that you Were awfully short your
self." Mrs. Neighbob - "Why do y..ii call
.Tuck 'The Fisherman?'" J.ss -"Because
he never goi s away without a
Mrs. Naggs - -"Words cannot ex
press my contempt for you." Naggs
"I'm glad to hear it. Now I will
have a little peace."
"Look lu re, now, when ure you
going to pay me the five dollars I h ut
you six weeks ago?" "How can I tell?
Do you take me for n prophet?"
Mrs. Wunghtitit --"Oh. I'd jn-t give
the world for u cottage at Newport."
Mr. Wii'ightitit - " Well, my dear,
that's pretty near what tin y cost."
"How did the rumor that Bill Cure,
the restaurant keeper, was financially
embarrassed get started?" "Si.nieono
saw him eating in hi - own restaurant,
Fred "The very (ii"-t thing she said
tome wlnn I called on her last night
gave me hope." Arthur "What was
it?" Fled "She said h.-r lit)!.'
brother was asleep."
Daughter - "Yes, I know Mr. Stav
Inte comes very often, but it i.-n't my
fault. I do everything I enii to drive
htm away." Old ( i. tit l.-miiii- "Fudge !
1 haven't heard you sing to him once ! "
Friend--"One of your clerks t. -lis
me you raised his salary und told him
to g.-t married under penalty of dis
charge." P'Usiin-ss Man- "Yes; I .1..
that with all my clerks wh.-n they get
old enough to marry. I don't want
any of your independent, conceited
men around my place."
A KetrNter for the Tremors.
The " tionoinetre " is a device of
Dr. (jbiintur.l, a l'r. i t'hmuii. f..r gaug
ing the treniHing of nervous people.
It consists of u metal plate pit ret d
with twenty holes of dill'er. nt sizes in
a graduated scale and a lie. die which
the putiellt enilellVoIs to put into tll.l
holes. Wh.-n he has succeeded ill
placing the needle in a hole he com
pletes an elect lie contact and rings ii
bell. The immoderate use of cotVeo
and stimulants, as well as lend or mer
curial poisoning, produce tremblings
which can be tested with this simple
appliance. It may also be useful to
marksmen and others. London
Fall" in Hivers.
Generally speaking, the slope of
rivers llow ing into t lie Mississippi from
the east is, on mi average, about threo
inches per mile ; those entering it from
the west have an average descent of
about six inches per mile. The aver
age descent per mile of the Missouri
after it leaves the mountains in reckon
ed at about a foo, ; t'le Dos Moines,
from its source to its conjunction with
the Mississippi, about 7.:l inches. Tho
entire length of the Ohio shows n fall
of five inches. The Mississippi, from
the mouth of the Ohio to the Gulf, has
B fall of about 2) inches, - St. Louis