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(Chatham QccovtX. II. -A.. LONDON, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. BATES or ADVERTISING TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, One square, one inaertion One square, two insertion! $1.0 l.S MO $1.50 PER YEAR Strictly in Advanct. one square, uu mvu n-nr Wffur adverUtemenU liberal VOL. XVI. PHTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, AUGUST 2, 1894. .acta will be made. CI)atl)aw ttrtorfc. j i NO. 41). Thru ( oincs I In- Kftln. Whnn tho ruin .m ho down It dimpled tiio strro s of llu- dusty town) Ainl llm Holds where the eorn drooped, burnt am brown Smiled when the rain oniuo down I When the rain ea:no down The hills worn it gn'ua nnl glorious crown i And sweet to the w orld was tint IjIucIc sky's frown When tlio rain citniu down! When the ruin enine down Tho panting lilll"n wen- uhid to ilrown ; O, tliojoy of tlm woodlands tho joy of tlm town When tin; rain enmo ilown! Atlanta Constitution. Eomanco of the Thimble. It was in tlm beginning of t lie six teenth century. A wonderfully lino Siimlity morning in winter had dawn ed ; the clenr, cold winter sun whs sparkling mi the snow-covered roofs of Antwerp. Tho sunbeams climbed Mid glided merrily along tliu houses, gilding the glittering stunicd-gliiss window-panes. Then they jumped gleefully over to the ttinuoth fields of iee formed by the froen eniialn which encircle the city. At tho iinrlh end of the town, n Biimll, well-frozen lake hud been form ed by tin outlets of tho Hinaller canals. Church wan just over; tho liiHt sounds of tho bells were Btill trembling on tho crisp nir, ns they died awiiy. A merry throng was on the hike ; a delightful picture of youth ful gayety presented itself to the visitor. The slender forms of yotitliH mid maidens, with their glittering skutc.i, Heemed to Hkini nloiig ns if driven by the wind.. Two by two, the older ones skated by, followed by boys mid girls, forming long chniiiH. Every now mid then, a pretty fdrl swept by nil tho other skaters, who bowed to her respectfully mid watched her with admiration, lint, like u proud HW.iu, kIii! went on farther and farther. Her elegant dress betrayed tho wealthy patrician. A blue velvet gown, falling in rich folds, mid trim med with lino fur, enveloped her form, and under the turban which sho wore, mid which was trimmed with flow ing red plumcH, gleamed n mass of golden hair which fell in two heavy braids to the edge of her gown. Tho wonderful, dreamy eyesiu her beauti ful aristocratic face, often looked Henrchingly among the, young pntri eiaiiH, but only to turn away in disnp- poiutmeiit and iutciiso longing. Finally tho form of n young man, coming from tho other end of tho lake, came gliding toward tho pretty skater. Her eyes sparkled with joy, ho bowod to her reverently but then ho confidently gripped tho little hands stretched toward him. They glided on in silence for homo time. "Why did you remain all alone, Antje?" ho nsked suddenly, "tlm young patricians will think it haughti ness on your part." A tit jo drew up her rosy lips in Hcorn. "Thut just suits ine, Cousin Adrian !" she laughed, "I wanted to wait for you undisturbed !" "Oh! Antje, you must not do it; ns grateful as your cousin is to you for your friendship, you must never for get what a deep, immeasurable abyss Bcpanttes tho wealthy Anna Van Der Solst from tho poor goldsmith, Adriuu Van licuschottcii !" Tho handsome man spoke earnestly and mildly, but not without a painful twitch of his finely curved lips. "Oh!" pouted Antje, "but suppose I do not like anyone else ns wi ll ns poor Adrian!" mid with u proud, lov ing look she scanned his noble, stal wart form in its plain brow n doublet. "Adrian ! do you know whom you resemble in comparison with tho gaudy patricians? You aro like tho falcon among tho bullfinches I" "Sweet child, it is well that you can jest; I feel ns if I should like to die for I coino to you today for tho last tiino to bid you farewell I nm go ing to England !" "(lo !'she Bitid icily. Sho pushed him from her, but only to drnw her self up again, closer and more confid ingly to him. It seemed as if they were made olio for tho other, for they were tho most distinguished looking coujdo among tho crow d of yoiug peo ple. "You bco, Antjo I must go, hard os it is for mo to do so. My honor demands it. It is my duty. Shall I uotice, Autjc, how my little cousin's affection grows stronger day by day? To say nothing of my own heartache ! And to know that wo may never come together I It is better that I go while my Antjo i still young, bo thut sha may more easily forget tho poor gold smith. You w ill know and love a bet ter uiau, Utit I shall remain true to my first love!'' "Adrian I I shall never love uuy one also but youl" "Poor Antje! It is in vain; the proud Mynheer Van Dor Solst will never givo his only child iu marriage to a poor uppreiitieo " "You are an artist, Adrian," Antjo answered vivaciously. "Even today I will bo tho wooer for you ut my fu tiler's feet!" Adrian shook his head. "You don' understand Mynheer's patriciau pride!" He tore himself away, vio lently. "Farewell Antje i" "(Soon I will send you good news! Antje called niter him Ho smiled sadly, waved one linn farewell, mid disappeared. The finest house on the Scholdo quny belonged to Mynheer Van Der Solst. A stately repose reigned ill tho re cejit ion-hall, covered with rugs and decorated with large chests, mirrors weapons mid shields, which led to n suite of furnished apartments. The last one was A lit jit's own, a charming mid dainty room. Rare tropical plants adorned it, Costly silver covered tho toilet-table. Heavy red silk draperies fell from tho golden crown of tho tester of her bed. (locblin tapestries from lirabaut show ed scenes from the Bible. In the midst of this splendor, Antje sat, in the cosy, upholstered bay-window, and gazed out upon tho dead winter landscape. Her eyes were red from weeping; now and then a soft sob escuped her half-opened lips. There had been a terrible scene. Mynheer her father, who had always been so kind and lenient now swore high niiil low tli it only a wealthy merchant should b count tlm husband of his .only daughter. "I will never give you to that r beggar!" was his last word. It was not on account of tho differ i nee in rank, for tlio goldsmith's art was greatly honored in tho sixteenth century, but Mynheer considered Adrian an idle dreamer. "Profession has no golden bottom with that fellow!" grumbled tho excit' cd man. 1 shall never entrust my great est blessing to a man who will never be prosperous !" Time crept by slow ly mid weighed heavily on Antje; finally bho found soiuu diversion iu her embroidery frame. The beautiful lace collar upon which she was at work had been in tended for a bridal gift for Adrian. "Now the collar shall ornament mv shroud!" thought Antje, mid gave way to somliro thoughts. Sho did not even notice, that she had repeated ly pricked her middle linger, until tho drops of blood from it hail alre'idy made a largo red spot ; tho lino Brus sels cambric was spoiled. Antjo an grily threw tho frmuo into a comer Just thou Oretn, her maid, entered and handed Antjo a small pnekng bearing Adrian's hand-writing. Quickly Antjo broko tho seal; a small silver nrticle, Kit with a blue stone, fell out and rolled down to Antje's feet. Inquisitively, Antjo picked it up, mid looked at the strange trinket in astonishment ; then put it down indifferently, took up the parchment mid read : 'My dear, sweet Antje, I knew very well that you would not tend uiu a good niossag No v I nm on my wuy to KukIiuuI; Mievo mo, I ''t only from motives of pare, ilisln toostnl love. Hut you, my dear child, must olioy your liolilo father, who Is anxious for your welfare only. 'Farewell, my ilarllnj! Ho happy, ami try to forgot. 'Kvcr your loving "Adrian 'T. S, IVrhupil msy clve you jii-st a little souvenir! The silver trinket is a little eap which I thought of for Ihe protection of your delicate flii,'u:, wh 'n I noticed how oft.u you pricked it at your oiuliroldery," Then Antjo alternately pressed the letter and tho littlo finger-cap to her lips, and held tip her hand us she uiado tho vow: "Adrian I will wait until you return to take, your Antjo with you !" Threo years have passed : a long magnificent wedding-procession is moving to tho gruud Jacob's cathe dral at Antwerp. Tho pretty bride, who smiles so happily under her laeo veil, is Antjo Van Der Sulst. She has not lost any of tho freshness of youth, but has blossomed out even more beautiful and queenly, a full-blown, fragrant rose. The bridegroom is a wealthy, stately-looking mun from Sheffield. He looks his best in his costly velvet waistcoat, decorated with a wide gold en -necklace of honor altogether a distinguishsd figure among tho patri cians following t'uo bridal pair. Antjo is following tho man from Sheffield to the altar, with her father's blessing and still sho has kept her vow, for the bridegroom is Adrian Van ISensehotteu, tho iuvcutor of tho thimble. Tho practical Englishman had soon appreciated tho value of the invention, mid through it Adrian had attained riches and honors. Tho renowned goldsmith of Ant werp lived a long, happy life with his faithful Antje. At their golden wed ding, however, the venerable couple still showed their great-grandchildren the origin of their fortune tho first t .limbic. Romance. Hlack Eyes, Blue Eyes. Common opinion, the fairest arbiter in a mutter of such general interest, is probably agreed that ill the human eye color does not control our estimate of beauty. "Black eyes or blue eyes, hazel or gray," as tho song says, aro equally admired iu the proper setting. But in the eyes of all other creatures color does make a marked differenco iu the impression which they convey to us, though tho reason for this dif ference is obscure. Light colored eyes of any shade seem to detract strangely from the depth mid signifi cance of animal expression. The us ual tint in these light colored ryes of animals is a bright golden yellow. Creatures of very similar form and almost identical shape of head and face appeal, or fail to appeal to us by tho expression of their eyo largely on account of this slight difFcrciicr,thoiigh the probable range of emotion and seopo of intelligence iu the one can hardly bo believed to differ greatly from the same powers iu the other. The yellow eyes of the sheep nnd tlio gont have probably never been tho subject of a word of commendation, while poets mid painters have never tired of celebrating the dark eyes of their cousins, the roebuck anil the ga zelle. In birds the contrast is even more marked. Asa rule, the eyes of the hawks are light yellow, bright and piercing, with wonderful pjwers or vision. The true falcons, which do not sur pass tho haw ks either iu si.o or cour age, hnvo black eyes, which lend a nobility and dignity to the expression of tho bird which tho goshawk, with all its nobility of carriage, never at tains. Thero is something infinitely roguish and mischievous iu tho light blue eyo of tho jack daw, which would be pure ruin to tho character of its grave cousin. "Parson" rook, if, by some unkind freak of nature, one were born with such disfigurement ; indeed it may bo doubtful il thoeolony would not pronounce sentence of execution at once upon fciieh a discredit to the tribe. Sat u rday Review. Tlio Indian As a Claimant. I was in Tahlequah when tho dis tribution of tho purchase money for tho Strip of tho Cherokees com menced. A moro interesting sceno than this collection of Indians could scarcely bo imagined, but tho most peculiar sight to me was tho action of a young brave, who declined to ncccpt tho amount offered to him on the ground that the government owed him $101) from Homo previous apportion ment. Ho speaks English well, and I was among those to whom ho told his grievance. As ho has a wife mid children, his family apportionment offered him was over $1000, but ho leclilied absolutely to iicc.ipt it unless the other bundled were a ble 1. Ho was told very kindly that it was im possible to nivede to his demand, mid he was ndvisfld to take tho $1000 and make a special claim for tho 8100. Al most any white man would hnvo fallen in with the sn -gestioti.aud it is an in teresting illustration of Indian stolid- iicss and obitiu icy th.it this man posi tively left the town einpty-haiided and swore ho would never como back un til his rights wore recoguized. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Apologies. A certain Monarch, of Violent and Hasty Temper, beciimo offended at au injudicious Remark of his Court Fool, aud, drawing his sword, cut off tho Unhappy Fellow's Right Ear. Tho next Day, having given tho mat ter Thought, tho Monarch approached tho Couch where lav tho Fooliu Much Pain, and apoligizod Sincerely for his Conduct, expressing drcat Sorrow. 'Your sorrow is beautiful to See," CO.plaiued tho Fool, "but it does not restore my Lost Ear." "Tho loss of your Ear cuts no Ice," replied tho Monarch. "It is enough thut I have Expressed my Sorrow and put myself at Peace w ith my own Con science in So Doing," Moral : And that is w hat apologies anion ut to, as a general thing. Iu- iianapolis Journal. Not That Way. Pickio Dimmles You have turned my brain all topsy turvy, Miss Cold oaL (Tenderly) Can you read what is in my miud? Miss Coldeai I am afraid not, Mr. Dimiulos. I never oouldread upside Juwu. Hsrpor's Bazar. UUI.lllilv.VS (ObLM.N DAISIES AM) CI.OTKB. Daisies anil clover, l'lii) wide land over, riwaying and nodding and bright with IjIuoiu. Daisies and clover The Kreut fields cover, Aud till tlio winds wi'li their sw.et per fume. rml-des and clover, And each child lover, May KU'licr and pluck and hold th"in fast, Over and over, i'or daisies and clover Haven't wo watched, and they're here at lust. if irpcr's Young l'eople. TUB DASi'lNH l'KA. Push n pill through n green pen, making the two ends as nearly as pos" Bible the same weight, that is, let tho point come a little more than half way through. Then break the stein of a common clay pipe, mid the toy will be complete. To make the pea dance, put it on top of tho pipe-stem. Tho point of the pin sticking down the bore. Throw your heu 1 back so that the Stem may be held vertically, and blow gently. This will make the pea rise, keep blowing harder, until the pea rises entirely from the pipe nod is sup ported in th air. It will now begin to spin around nnd round mid turn over mid over, all tho while bobbing up mid down, us long ns the current of air is kept up. Tho ilanco m iv bo change I by pushing the pin up to its head. Tho pea will now rise to the top of tlm pipe and dance slowly mid with great dignity around the edge; or,- if tho blower stops to latlh, il is apt to full into the open mouth below. Detroit Free Press. I.KHKNl) OP TIIK rANST. A pretty fablo about the pnnsy is current among French and German children. The flower has five petals nod live sepals. In most pansics, espe cially of tho curlier nnd less highly developed varieties, two of tho petals lire plain in color, and threo are gay. The two plain petals havo a single se pal, two of the gay petals have a sepal each, and tho third, which is tho larg est of all, has two sepals, Tho fablo is that tho pansy repre sents a family, consisting of a hus band, wife mid four daughters, two of the latter being step-children of tho wife. Tho plain petals are the step childreu, with only one chair; tho two small gay petals tiro the daugh ters, with a chair each, nnd the large, gay petal is the wife, with two chairs. To find the father one must strip away tho petals unfl tho staiitius and pistils are bare. They have a fan ciful resemblance to an old man with a flannel wrnp about his neck, his shoulders upraisod, nnd his feet iu a bathtub. Tho story is probably of French origin, because th) French call tho pansy tho stepmother. House hold Magazine. IltntNO OS A lllllAI'FR. flenernl Sir Evelyn Wood is likely to remember his ride on a giraffe-back ns long ns ho lives. Many years ago, w hile passing through Jowrn, in India, with a party of friends, he was enter tained, says Little Folks, by tho N a wnl i, who possessed a collection of the rarer animals, such as giraffes, cheetahs, etc, Brigade Major Wood, as he was then, offering to rido the giruffe, the animal was brought out barebiicke.l, with no bridle save a rope around his neck. Wood vaulted from th J balcony on to the back of the crea ture, which started off at a great pace; but when it settled down into a gallop the curious movement made tho rider, although au old sailor, "sea-sick," if tho term may bo used of a laud exer cise. Hitherto ho had ridden well, the giriffo'H queer movements and awk ward bounds nffordiug the out lookers much amusement. At last Wood felj off, receiving a blow on the head from the animal's knee, aud then in tho face from its foot. Tho fun threat ened to end fatally ; but although ho was carried away insensible, he re covered after a few hours to rido a giraffe never more forever. Uhat She Must lo. "Maria," he said plaintively, "aro yougoiug to join tho woniau's suffrage movement?" "I am," was tho resolute reply. "Aud make spoeohes aud carry on?'' "Very likely." "Well, if that's the case, I've just one thing to say," aud his jaws shut hurd. "What is that?" "After this yort'll have to get up in the middle of tho night aud help chase Uuiylius." Washington Star. Till: OLDEST TOWN. A Cuban Port Founded Ten Years After America's Discovery. Immense Output of Bananas From Its Environs. "I have just returned from a visit to tho oldest town settled by white men in the western hemisphere," said Mr. Robert Hill of tho United States geological survey to a Washington Star reporter. "It is called Baraeoii, and issituuted at the eastern end of the Island of Cuba. Spaniards Blurted tho settlement ten years after tho discov ery of America by Columbus. It has been a scene of turbulence mid blood shed for centuries. During the great revolution of twenty-five years ago a battle was fought there, in w hich three hundred men were killed, tho high ground back of the city nffordiug a refuge ground for the insurgents, who sullied forth from time to time upon tln. town. At present, however, liaraeoa is most interesting as mm of the great est banana-shipping ports in the world. I should tell you preliminarily that, whereas the western part of Cubi is a vast plantation of suoir mid tobacco, the cast end of the island is a wilder ness covered, for the most part, with virgin forests. Such portions of the eastern half as are under cultivation produce chiefly bananas and coiinuts. The coast, you must under dand, is Very abrupt, iiseending in three re markable terraces to a general alti tude of 2, ODD feet. Beyond rise the mountains to a height of li,000 feet. "Tho banana plantations are not seen from the const. On the arrival of a fruit steamer messages are sent by telephone to central points in the in terior. From these points horseback riders convey the news to the banana plantations. The bananas are then cut, after which they are transported in panniers by cows to the edge of the plateau overlooking the coast. Thence they are run dowu by wire trolleys to the banks of tho Yuniiri river, where they are loaded upon Hinall lighters. Negroes polo tho lighters out of the river mid through the surf to the fruit vessel. As might be imagined, this is a dangerous performance, mid the lighters aro often upset. "Thi) mouth of the Yuniiri river in eighteen miles from Baracoa. After getting a load, the fruit steamer re turns to tho town for her clearance papers, aud twenty-four hours after her nrrival she is on her way back to Philadelphia, Now York and Boston. The planter gets TiO cents n bunch for his bananas, delivered at tho top of tho cliff. Ten cents n bunch iu ad dition is pnid to the trolley concern for fetching the merchandise to the river's edge. The negroes pass the bananas from tho lighters into tho hold of tho vessel, chuiii-fusliion. Tho bunches aro stood on end, two deep, upon a false deck. "Tho negroes are the happiest pen plo imaginable. They sing songs while they puss the bunches into the vessel. A man stands on tho deck of the ship nud examines every bunch. Any bunch that shows the leist sign of ripening is thrown nwtiv or given to the laborers. Tho craft being loaded, a free rido to Baracoa is given to the darkies. They bring w ith them dogs, goats, pigs, and chiokons, which aro their pets. Every negio possess one or more pet animals with two or four legs. Tho place of honor on board tho vessel is near tho door of the captain's cabin around which tho black passengers squat. Suhstllutt) for ('offec. The different substitutes fur coffee would seem to be innumerable. Dried apples and carrots, rye, malt, bran, peas, beans, barley and chicory, have all niado bids for popubir favor, be sides many others not enumerated. Among the latest candidate is the soy or soja bean. Its producer, Di rector Plumb, of Purdue University, says his attention was first called to the value of this beau for this purpose in 1S1U by a farmer, who told him that his family had used the bean in stead of coffee for several years, and had raised sixteen bushels to tho acre. In his bulletin Director Plumb says tho seed should be planted about thirty inches apart in rows, with a beau every six to nino inches in the row. Tho grouud should bo prepared as for any other beaus. The seed should not bo planted until the ground is well warmed, about tho latter half of May, though a satisfactory crop has been gathered at this station from seed planted about the middle of June Yet the season may be too short if the planting is delayed much beyond Juiw 1. After tho Ivans are ripo enough j the plants should be mowoJ off or pulled up and dried iu tho field in small pi I i.s or slacks, after which they may be taken to tho burn mid threshed out, (Jure should be taken to harvest before the pods are too ripe, or they will shell and waste iu handling. Analysis shows thut tho one main essential differenco between tho seeds of the soja nnd coffee is thut one coii un alkaloid caffeine to which is due. its peculiar flavor, which tho ; other lucks. Both contain consider- able fat, fibre and albuminoids, but ; the amount of available nutriment in cither case would bo inappreciable in a cup of co flee. That there should be bo close a relationship in the amount of fat iu each is of special interest. It is important to note that the soja beau roasted is more nutritious than the ar tificial coffee or barley coffee sold ill the market. New York World, Mental Sufferings of the (owlioy. "Jf young men who have the cow boy fever had any idea of the appren ticeship they lire likely to serve be fore becoming fllll-lledged Cowboys, most of them would be cured without the expense of u trip a thousand miles west," said Elius Miller of Hutchin son, Kan. "It is marly twenty years since I had the feier and went out to be cured. My first work was watch ing the line between Wyoming and Dakota, liiii" or fence watching is un assignment frequently given to u new-Comer, and the duties consist in riding up mid down the line nud pre venting cattle from straying over it. Several men have lost their reason iu this work, and I came very near do ing so myself. All the glory and ad venture we read of iu books is absent, and the solitude is terrible. I could cover in y distance iu about two days, nud did nothing else but ride up nud down the line watching for the stray cuttle, which never strayed my way. Sheep herding is said to be the must terribly monotonous work n man can be put to, but there are few cowboys in Ihe West who have not mi iieute recollection of the sufferings they en dured when doing such work as I de scribe. There nre hundreds of men doing it today, but each of them is looking forward to obtaining a new job with almost the eagerness of a convict who knows that his sentence has nearly expired." St. LouisGlobe Deuiocrat. He Curries a Passport. H. L. Benson of New York, accord ing to a reporter of a St, Louis paper, takes pains to be always provided with a passport. He says that it costs him but a dollar nnd n little trouble to get it, mid that it saves him n great deal of trouble whenever he is where he is not well known. Says he: "With this passport I never have to be iden tified at a bunk, postollice or other in stitutions where strangers transacting business alwavs havo to be vouched for by somebody known to the offi cials. You see that the body of the paper contains a most minute and un mistakable description of me, together with my age nud residence. The whole bears tho good s Mil of the United States government, thus making decep tion or unpostiro almost impossible. My description was sworn to by no taries public who know me before the state department nt Washington issued tho pnssport. With this affidavit, and another one certifying that 1 was n good citizen, 1 enclosed SI with my ap plication to the secretary of state and received the passport. "New Orleans Picayune. A Political Kxi'rienci A candidate for olliei was so sorely beset by undesirable visitors that after much patient suffering he gave orders to the servant to deny admittance to all callers save his personal friends. How well the order was carried out he hooii had evidence. The bell rang, and tho maid, upon opening the front door, was confronted by a body of "delegates" from a "willing" constit uency, when the candidate overheard the following colloquy : "Is Mr. (3-- ut horn.'?" said tho leader. "He is not," answered the maid. "When will he be in?" "Are ye personal friends of his?" "Well no," said the lender: "but "Then he's never com in in." And tho door was closed with a bang. Harper's Magazine. Coin' rniiii M ills. Somebody says that "lor breakfast a little ii enough, for dinner enough is too little, for supper a little is too much." This sounds ri'ther smart, but it will uot work well in practice at least with many people. A h-iilthv man with a good digestive outfit will rather sympathize: w ith the boy w lie said that his favorite meals were break fast, dinner, aud supper. Btiffsln Ooiiiu.ercial. 1 1m Ferry for fcliadowtowo. 0way to nnd fro in the twilight gray, 'I'll Is the ferry for Hhadowtown. It atwuys sails at the nud of tha day, Just as tha darkness closes down. I'.est, little bead, on my shauidnr, so; A sleepy klBS Is tho only fur. JJ ifting away from the world wo go, Jjaliy and I in the rucking clmlr. Aon where the fire-loxs glow and spark Olittorthi" lights of tho shadowlaua. The ruining drops on tba window, hark! Am ripples Inpplng upon its strain!. Tln-re, whom tho mirror ts glancing dim, A lukn 11ns shiuinxriiiK, cool and still, Sloftsoms nre waving shove its brim, 'J'lioue over there oil tho window-sill. Itock hImw, more slow, in the dusky light, (Silently lower the uichor down. Dour lillle passenger, say "(iood nlrlil !" We've reached theiiarhorolShadowtown ! New Oilcans Tiines-Jlemocrat JIUMOHOrS. Goes without saying A dent mute. The higher up a thermometer gets the lower it falls m tho public estima tion. It is true thnt doctors disagree, but then they don't disagree half us much ns their medicines do. Teacher I've explained to you the nature of a fixed holiday ; now givo mo un instance of a movable holiday. Class -May 1. Clara -Do you believe in tho doc trine of every man for himself? May No ; 1 believe that it should be every man for some girl. Jones That's funny. Smith What's funny? Jones Tho paper says that the police magistrate gave a mun .10 for being drunk, The fact that a woman doesn't "euro" I'or il man she mi'hl have had Ji ies not, u hen he weds another fair, K"cp Icr from K'thg mad. Kitty -Wo advanced women havo discovered that mun is u total failure. Tom I supjio.se that in why you aro claiming un equality with him. "There's a friend downstairs wait ing for you ; says he wants you only a minute," Mr. Cutchoii Here, James ; bike this $10 nud keep it until 1 como back. "I am married, but I think mar riage is a failure." "I'm married, but I don't. Difference of opinion, eh?'' "No; difference of wives, I fancy." The owner of a carriage, who wan upset the other day said that ho couldn't agree with the spectators who complimented him on his handsome turn out. Of nil mean men upon this earth. The champion litis Peen found. "J'is ho w ho puts Imrlied wire feiico Next to tho picnic ground. 'Speaking of persistency," re marked th bill-poster thoughtfully, "my trade is certainly one in which a inmi will never make a cent except by sticking at it." "How was it Perkins didn't get hin degree nt college this year?" "You don't suppose tho faculty is going to let a line foot bull player liko Perkins graduate, do you?" "1 shall celebrate my twenty-second birthday next week," said MissGiddey to her dearest friend. "I suppose you forgot it when it came around eight or nine years ago," was Miss Flypp'a reply. "Mr. Dawson isa lovely man," said Miss Welloii. "1 told him I was twenty-two years old, mwl tho dear thing said 1 didn't look it." "Well, you don't," said Misn Porte; "you look thirty-two." "Look here," said an irate artist to a member of tho hanging committee, "what Hindi) you sky my picture?'' "My dear fellow," replied the com mitteeman soothingly, "your pictures always come high you know.' The cost of drills aud medicines, Are ImviiiK sii 'h a tall. Cut prices wi 1 bring sickness s Within the reach of all. Bertha -Sometimes you appear really manly, and sometimes you are absolutely effeminate How do you account for it? Harold -1 suppose it is hereditary. Half my ancestors wero mules nnd the oilier half females. Teacher Sammy, in the sentence, I have a book, what is the case of tho pronoun 1? Sammy (promptly) Nom inative case. Teacher Next boy, tell me in w hat case to put the noun book. Next boy (thoughtfully) Bookcase, They were discussing a man whoso financial methods hud been called into question. "Why," exclaimed ono man, "ho wouldn't steal as much as a dollar." Tho other reflected a mo ment and said, "1 guess you mean as little as a dollar." Gentleman (savagely to hairdresser) You villain ! That stuff you war ranted to do away with the bald patches I had has taken every hair off niy head. Hairdresser Well it has done away with the bald patches, sir. Your head's alike nil over now.
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Aug. 2, 1894, edition 1
1
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