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riTTSB01U) CHATHAM CO., N. C, JANUARY 2, 1890.
lu the dark or In I lie ilnwn,
In tho sail niul (lad of life
In tho sunlight, in tin) stritn,
Hills to I'limli, nml rivers wid.
Hut the starlight's on tlio tiilo
(iroeu banks on tho oilier sliK
Where tlio oconn wanders fnr,
In tlio stnrmlivtt skies n P'.tr -Hells
tlnil ring across tlio liu,
In the tlurknc-a o( tho nights
I'altli tho distant hiiveo filils ;
Ami, bohold-tho hnrlior llghtsl
- I'. L. Stanton.
THE CAPTAIN'S PARTY.
HY MAltitAttr.T MOOUl'. I'lmmr.
Tlio Cnptuiii made up his in i ml to
pivo n parly. He fust thought of n
dinner i dinner it is called in tlmt
part of the world but upon mature
consideration decided tlmt nn evening
pnrly with n dunce Mould lie better.
"You cm get more pooplo in the
house tlmt way, " lui reasoned, "uiiil
tlien, Mummy is right, it lon't tuko
so ninny dishes. "
"Whur yer gwino tor git 'notigh fir
nil ilem folks to rut?" demanded his
tlictutor, fur tlio Ciiptniii liko many
nuuthcr southerner, whs Mill under
tlm euro of his "Mummy" nnil she
ruli'il liiui utnl his house with n roil of
iron. Shu lrul never even dreamed of
leaving tlio old phiiitut ion. Freedom
hud no churnis awuy irn;n all her lif-i
time associations, and tlio comfort of
lier "elnlo" was fur more important to
licr th in personal in depoud-Mio . Ho
(tho stayed nt I for post with her old
husband who would possibly hnvo
had some revolutionary ideas if Mam
i v had allowed him 1 Ik.' luxury of a
private ojiinioii mid i-ho cooked for
her one lituili left in I lie old fold,
nursed and ened f ir him, though ho
amis fortv as she had done when lie
It was tho first (!!m istuius nfler the
war, dreary, Mid mid hopeless; too
boon after tho stunning lilow of defeat
for in in: 1 1 react in ii even in the limit hi
ost tin' tire. ' The terrible poveity, the
desperate outlook over inany fields
left fallow, crushed even thu mwst
The Ciptnin was "pretty bin.-," lie
declared, and felt that Homebody must
cutiiu to tho front with something to
chei r up the neighborhood mid ns be
wns a linelielor, with a big lioiiso tin
touched by the chances of war, he was
convinced that he was tho one to do
it; but Mammy's question about sup
plies was pertinent and must be uu
dwercd. "Well, Mammy, I reckon there's a
wild turkey or so in the hollow, and
Uncle Jake can set nil his hare traps
Slid ho can cutch us a lot of old
hares" the Captain culled them "oh;
liynrcs" "and I can get Home squir
rels and partridges, and I don't think
we'll starve on that. "
"Huh! War yer (wins tor git
no cko, n n no ieo cream tier iiiithin?"
"Well, everything you cook tastes
Bo good, Muinmy.tbo folks won't know
tho ilifl'ereuce. "
"I don't min' cooki' : things, when
I got things ter cook," was Mammy's
parting shot ns she left the room, ob
viously mollified, mid the rnptniii
knew bis lirst ally was secured.
It was a dill'ereiit matter when ho
spoke to his sister-in-law of his in
tended hospitality. Sho bad been
widowed by the rrar, and she consid
ered the captain's "frivolity," as she
called it, a heartless proceeding, n
want of proper respect for his dond
"Is this ft time to dance?" she
"Well, yes, Molly, 1 think it is.
Wo'vo had time enough to weep, tin;
Lord knows, and wo'vo dotio plenty
of it, nnd we're going to do plenty
tuoro boforo wo get through. And
that's just the reason 1 took it into
my bend I'd liko to daneo n littlo
"Who'll dance with you ; who will
j' on invite?"
"Everybody, you nnd tho children
to begin with. They're young enough
to dance, sure, and I'll get nil tho old
folks to playing in tho littlo parlor,
and we'll begin enrly and keep it up
late nud forget our troubles for one
night, nnywiiy, nud dance thu old
j-enr out uud the Now Year in, ns we
always used to do. Tom's been dend,
poor fellow, these three years, you
"As if I coiiid forget Tom in three
years!" but she made no further ol
jrctioli, and n. tlio Captain expected,
every one who w,i-, bidden was only
too fjlud to come. It -mis the only
party in the country ude, the only
brenk in the monotony of that dreary
wiute.' uud everybody neucd upon
tho opportunity, aud everybody lnudo
Tho host's request to "eomo early
nnd stay Into" wus obeyed to tho letter.
Before 0 o'clock, it nondescript pro
cession of vehicles begnn to lilo in tho
"big gate." Horses were very scarce,
mules almost us much so; therefore,
tho carriage where one survived
was out of the question, if the w hole
family were to eomo which they did
in most cases, so tho usual chariot
wns tho farm wagon, drawn by the
mule nud horse with rope harness, or
whnt had once been ft "sure enough
harness, tied up in n multitud-j of
places with a collection of strings;
mamma nud tho children insido upon
straw, pillows or anything that' could
soften tho hard wooden Hour; pupa
driving, aud the whole parly bent on
enjoying themselves to the utmost.
A few young men rode a farm horse
or mule, but ninny of them walked,
miles nnd miles, and danced all night
afterward. The old colonial house
literally glowed with hospitality
through every ruddy window, for the
problem for enough light hud been
solved by Undo JakoV'elbow grenso"
nt the woodpile and countless chunks
of light wood wero heaped up to
brighten up tho festivities. There wero
a few caudles in thu parlor nud ill the
supper room, but tho long draw in
room, which had not been used for
yours tho war closed those doors-
hud a roaring wood lire in tho grcnt
chimney nt eneh end, upon which,
from time to time, tho fat pino knots
were thrown, and tho bright, flickering
flamo illuminating the large room
with a rosv light, throning deep
shadows in tho corners where som
times a shadow came handy, if ft man
and a maid we know the rc-t. (Jupid
had been very busy during these four
restlo.-s years, and it was nut to bo ex
pected that he would give up his old
"Long Muse" nn 1 "Yellow Sam"
were the tiddlers, and "Mammy's"
Jako "knoe'ied tlu tune" on tho
banjo with such good will ns well ns
good time that to keep one's feet
still necessitated the loss of one of
them, or a "Yankee bullet in the
knee." In the "little parlor wero tho
cards and the old folks, nud in tho
halls, up the old stairs, peeping
through the railing on the lutuliiigs.on
the floor among tho dancers, romped
From the open door a beam of rosy
liht tell across the lawn, the inooii
rose majestically over the mountains
across tho river, tho dry leaves of the
old red oak near tho lioiHe soughed
in Die mild breeze, the I'otomac silver
hero and there in the moonlight,
glided on ns peacefully as though its
current had never been tinged by
other red than tho glow from tho lire
light in the lockkceper's house under
the shadow of the mountain. lu the
ball room "Loug Mose" wns calling
tho figures for tho Virginia reel.
"Honor to yer partners," "Fust
couple forrard and back.
Mammy's supper was as great a tri
umph of the Csjilaiu's murkmauship
as of her cooking, for powder and hall
were too scarce to be wasted in a sin
gle uuprolitahlc shot, and every time
tho music of "Mars Dick's" rirlo had
been heard, some bird or beast re
gretted being within call. There
were partridges stuffed with little bulls
of sausages and baked "One o' old
miss' ways" there were three wild
turkeys cooked to a turn, a ham part
of tiie one hog that was killed that
year there were sipiirrels and rab
bits galore, aud real cofl'eo with sugar
Am the night wiih waning the ('up-
tain saw his sister-in-law crossing the
hall with her youngest boy last asleep
in her arms. He hastened to relieve
her of tho burden. As they entered
tho "chamber," thu down stairs bed
room sacred to the mistress of tho
house an I the usual family sitting
room also, Molly seated herself by tho
tire ii u I held out hrr arms for the
child, but tho Optaiu did not hand
him to her immediately. He stooped
to let tho firelight fall on the little
lace lying against his brc:ist.
"How much ho looks like Tom !
nnd yet ho is liko you too, Molly
like you looked when Tom aud I drew
straws to seo which of us should speak
first.'' She looked up quickly.
"Didn't becver tell you? Well, you
see, 1 made him proiuiso he wouldn't
when I found he was tlio lucky one;
but, all thesaui", I can't forget it; I
Ho bout foinnid over tho child
again, kissed the sleepy little mouth,
then laving him in his mother's arms,
said quietly: "Molly, I will ben
father to thorn ill if you will let me,
aud I have loved you nil my life."
"Miss Molly, Mammy says can't
yer come thor jest n iiiiuit." j
"Take him, Dick wou't vou?" th.' '
said, ns she rose, giving the child to
"For my owu sou?"
"Don't urge uicnow ; let mo think."
He sat with tho child on his lnp for
a while. Then, as Molly did not re
turn, and a burst of laughter from tho
ball room reminded him of his duties,
he rose, laid the boy on the bed nud
went out to his guests again.
They wero beginning to cave. Molly
was saying farewoll to soino of them
at tho door as he joined her. Iy the
time tho last one had gone the streak
of gray over the mountains had broad
ened almost to tho zenith : the cap
tain turned to hor aud said, ns they
watcheithe growing light:
"Well, Molly, my party wasn't so
bad after all, was it?"
"It was a great success, nnd I think
you were right to do it. I find we
need mirth sometimes, almost as miieli
us wo need prayer."
"Was it a success for me? See, the
New Year is breaking on the world
with thu now day. Shall a new and
happier day daw n for me, too?"
"Miss Molly, little Tom's n'.vike,
nnd Iio'h a crying for you."
As she caught up the child ho folded
both of thuiu in his arms. A "happy
New Year to you, my dear," ho enid.
lie Knew the I'laec.
The man with his coat collar turned
up and his hat pulled down over his
eyes, who was slouching along in the
shadow of tho buildings, suddenly
beckoned to tho man on the other
side of the street.
"Here's a graft, Hill," he said when
the other had crossed over.
"Wot is?" asked Hill, grullly.
"This here hoiln1," replied tho lirst
speaker. "It's just like finding things
all fixed for you. S imo blooniin'
idiot has gone away and left his key
in th'.1 door."
Hill took a long look at the house
aud then shook his lo ad.
"You kin hnve it," lu said. "I
don't want liuthiu' to do with tho
"Wot'n the matter?"
"The feller wot lives lu re nin't to
bo trusted. He's a low-down, mean,
tricky cuss. Ho ain't got no feelin's
"D'ye know him?"
"N'o ; but 1 was lure onet before,
an' I'm onto his game, Ho left tho
key j lst like that betore.uii' I thought
it ns dead easy. I went up' an tried
to turn it, au' thought I was bciu'
"Was bo watehiu 'or you?"
"Watchin' uuthiti'! He's one of
these here eleetricil guys, au' he just
sticks the key in there to catch suck
ers, turns a million-volt battery on nn'
goes to bed. I wouldn't touch that
key if it would let me into the Huuk
of England. ' Chicago Tost.
Passion For Horses.
The heroine of n romance in real
life has just died. This was Princess
Victoria of Capu t, daughter of tho
brother nt the King of Naples. A
very handsome woman of the Aniuzo
ii l it ii type, she lived nlouo for many
yean in her chateau near Lucca, her
one hobby and object ill life being the
breakiug in of wild horses, Tho peas
ants of the neighborhood used to call
her Diana. She would drive a four-iu-hutid
of half-broken animals
through the most rugged mountain
passes with a resolution which as
tonished all who met her. Ivpinlly
btruugu is tho utory of her birth. Her
mother was a beautiful Irish girl, who
having attracted thu love of the heir
presumptive to tho throne of Naples,
neeepted his hand, but refused to livo
nt court because his family refused
her tho privileges of her rank. So
the pair retired into obscurity and
lived mi the revenues of thu prince's
estates. She only had two children
the. prinec, whose death is just an
nounced, nnd a son, who hecinuo in
sane owing to hatred of women. So
fixed whs his delusion and so tierce
lid he become if n woman came near
him, or was visible from tho castlo
windows, that th'J walls ha I to bo
built up to nn extraordinary height,
thereby shutting out all view of tho
outside world. Chicago Chronicle.
The Wny to Make a Lawn.
"I should like to have such turf ns
this," once s.iid an American million,
aire to an Oxford gardener. "Tell
me, my man, how you manngo it,"
nud he fumbled significantly in his
pocket, ns though to indicate n will
ingness to pay for tho required in
formation. "Will, Sir," wns the reply, de
livered with tho 1 1 nn i ii t humor of an
old college retainei, "it's werry sim
ple; you tuts it as clo-ie ns ever you
can cut, au' you rolls it au' cuts it for
mx huudred years."
( IIIUUtKS'S COI.l .MX.
A KTIUMii: CAT- III II II.
In tlio tall olit eeihir tree that stainl
IJetore my cottage door,
A hiril's nest in hist the topmost luiigli,
1 Iits lieen a your or more ;
Anil looking from my wimlo-.v. I
This morning eliaiicd to
The queerest bird upon that in"t
In that oM cedar tree.
For wiiiK-i an extra pair of o.,s
H i Intel ; tor feathers, fur ;
I'or heak. n little pinkish nose;
Ami for a song, n purr:
A oat-bint lie; but no cat bird
That ever hopped or flmv
Would own lihn ns a brother bird
Or answer to his nenv.
Hut thorn ho was upon tlio nr-ii,
A blinking in the sun.
Ami thinking to liim"ll, no iluht,
Oh, this is jolly fun.
An I liny sllit inii'-h prettier
I'm sur i eoitlil never I"',
Thau that Kruv kitten playing liir I
111 our - lit eediir tree.
Iletroit Pre ? Pi
its' roil voi nii roi.K.
l'arents too ol'ten forget ,lhnt they
well- once young and liked ainilse-luriit-
A mother of my acquaintance,
with a house full of young people, is
a charming instance of one who re
members. Sho lately gate a unique party which
was a most successlnl aft' dr. The in
vitatioiis wero sent by little Ciiiiiest
nud Japanese dolls of tho kind sold on
the street nt two tor live cents, which
nre already dressed in guy Oriental
garments of paper. In the sash u
tiny envelope was thrust, addressed
to the person to whom tho doll wus
scut uud containing nn invitation to a
doll party, th i receiver being re-
I quested to come in a costume person
J nting a doll of some sort.
! Ouo of the most amusing fcature
j of tho evening w is u row of puprr
I dolls, dressed in white and. Irani ng
against the wall, with hull Is joined.
To do this well one must contrive to
l drive every bit of expression from the
! face, nnd by the aid of ponder to us-
Mime a ghastly ci mpli.xioii.
An ingenious costume of gray nii
j derwear, drawn over the shoes nud
stockings and sleivei, with short skirt
I and waist of gray sileMu, made a very
' good rubber .loll, In.t the b. iie of the
! evening was a lurhiiued black Dinah.
Of course, in most eases, masks nrr
worn, but these can be dispensed with
I early in tho evening. A prize is given
j to tho one who can guess the identity
of the greatest nuiiib. r. There is n
I field here for nn v amount of ingenuity.
I As this was in a suburban town tlio in
I vitation dolls wero delivered by e
A IU MMY Iil.rov.
The ostrich being one of the must
stupid of birds, nud the Husiimau nl
South Africa one of the euniiiiigesi
(and lowest) of men, it is natural that
the one should fall n victim to the
other. Any bird that will run hi.
head into n bii.-h and think he is en
tirely concealed deserves to have
hard time. The feathers of the o.sl ricl
nrc in demand by beautiful white
ladies across the sou, nud the eggs nro
in grcnt demand by himself, so the.
Dushmau does all ho knows to e.rcii in
vent tho ostrich, which, stupid ns he
is, keeps u pretty sharp look-out from
tho top of his long neck, six or eight
feet above the ground level, whereas
ih i wool of tho little savage who hunts
him is not much more than half that
height above the sand.
Sometimes the Bit diuim will m.ike
n burrow near an ostrich's nest, uud
wheu the' birds come back to it he
will polish them olT with his poisoned
arrows. Another, nud not quite so
menu a method, is that whi rr, the
Bushman gets into the skin of an os
trich (the neck ol which is stulVed
enough to remain upright) his own
bare lops doing duty for tho legs of
the bird. Knowing the ways of his
victims, thu littlo man walks and
manages his dummy so admirably thai
it is impossible to tell at a distance
that it is n bogus ostrich. The real
ostriches, not having bruins enough
to seo any dill'ereiieo whatever, allow
the fatal dummy to upprosrli quite,
close nnd even to come among tticm.
Twang goes the bow, ami down
goes an ostrich. Aud the rest ruu oil
nt thirty-live miles on hour? Not :il
all. They can't understand why os
trich No. 1 is lying down, and they
btnnd ami think it out. Tw.ui;; goes
tho bow ngain, and another ostrich
lies down. Finally, when it dawns
upon the sole survivor thut there must
be something wrong, tho bow swatigs
again and thesurvivor feels something
strike him nt the same time as the
idea. Bushini n get a good haul ol
feathers, and some bounty will ere
long, be fniitiing herself in Parisian
drwi;ig-io uiis with the produce ol
his cunning, or they may go into the
huts of the belles of the M:U l-.'ud
Road. New Yolk Merciirv,
DIN HI) IX GOTHAM.
-How the First Presidential Christ
mas Was Celebrated.
First Christmas Dinner Givo'i in
(i;;orgo Washington nt c bis Hist
presidential Christmas dinner in the
house w hich stood at 1'eiirl and Cherry
streets, Franklin Square, New Voik
city, and there wero present beside
tho president, Mrs. Washington, lo r
gruud-ehildrcii, nud a few invited
guests. Six years before this time he
hud laid down his oilier ns commauder
iu child' of tho nrmy. How little he
expected the honors that were, in store
for him is evident by a letter h" wrote
to Huron Steuben D -comber 17d.
"This is tho last letter 1 shall writ- ,"
he says, "in the s rviee of my coun
try. The hour of my resignation is
tixed at '2 today, niter which I shall
become a private citieii on the bunks
of the I'otomac.''
It is inti resting to reeiil the fue1
that he reached Mount Vernon, nlti r
having resigned, oil Christ ma i-ve,
and was there snow -and-ieo bound
by weather so severe that he was un
able to visit even his aged .iintlier.nho
lived in Fredcricksbur-. Tim seme
of his resignation in the Christinas
season is worth recalling; it was so
simple, so dignified, and yet so touch
ing that the chroniclers who recount
it agree that there were tears in the
eyes of all who heard the great in in
lay down the great oflieo he hu 1 used
in a great cause.
(leiieral Washington nppenred in
the hull of Congress el i 1 in a dirk
brown cloth suit, which is distinctly
said to have been of Ane ri manu
facture. His sword was i.tei-i inlt' d,
his stockings were of white sili,, and a
! plain pnir of silver buckles u lo-n. d hi.
j shoes. His huir was, of eour-e,
I powdered aud in "bug and solitaire."
The members of congress sat with
their hats on, ns they still do in par
liament, (leiieral Washington, con
ducted by the s -.'civtury of (' ingrem,
formally made his i esignuteui to tie-
, president, n:nl, coiielu ling, utlere 1
one of those sentences which, in its
simplicity nud nobility, recalls the
words of Abraham Lincoln.
Ho said: "I consider it an indis
pensable duty to close this last solemn
net of my official life by commending
the interests of our dearest country to
tho protection of Almighty tool and
those who have superintendence of
them to his holy keeping."
Verily a benediction and a prayer!
Scnrcly less graceful was the reply of
the iiresident, whose prophet ic words
wire; "You return from the tie-litre
j of action with the blessing of your
J feliow citieus but th ) gioiy of your
t virtues will not terminate with your
military commands but it will eoii
i tiuuo to animate remotest ages."
i The iiresident celebrated his next
. Christmas dinner in the rrsid'-m'e to
j which he move, I on the west s 1 of
', Broadway, ie'ai 15 ctor street, which
1 was subs .-qiicutly know n us Bu ik t's
j Mansion Hmi-c. Both of these build
ings have I.. 'en desti-oye 1. His n ill
I sequent Chrismas days were sp--ul in
1'liiluilelpliiu, where he occupied n
house on Market street.
At the close of his presidential
I career Washington returned to his
! ever dear Mount Vernon and busied
j himself among other thin ;s. with
I plans for the White House, which wns
j named after the former limn.! of his
j wife, and Ciereforc a m itler of deep
j interest to him.
j The Christuuistide of 1 .;.: siw the
close of this marvelous man's career,
j A cold contracted on the J lih of the
j month terminated filially.
I The lirst dinner at C iristmns time
j ever given in the White House was thai
j whi:h took place in the year ISO,
when John Adams was president ami
thrifty Abaga-.l his wife, sit at the
head of tho table us hostess.
It was not a comt'oi table
, ill- I
j though a splendid haunch of venison, ,
j the gift of Mis Washington, graced;
the board, and the coiiu'ry p-nple of
what Mrs. Adams c died "Tiie City in j
j the Wildi rucs.s" had gem imiisIv c;ui- ,
'rilmted gifts of nil soils to make the I
j feast us toothsome ns might be. I he !
j discomfort lay in the tact that the i
occupants of the White House toiind I
i reueetcii in tueir resnt n,v! evnteiie
of the same ha-te that cii tractcried
; the new government.
j In a delightfully feminine lelier i
.urs. An nus iieseriiuM tlio o m tiMon
ofiifl iits. Sh 's ixs: "The hone is
j upon a grand nnd snpeili s -uii , ie
j quiring about thirty servants to at
tend and keep apartments in order."
! Then follo-vs n hoiisewif-ly complaint
about tlu dirticiily in lighting tho es
tublishm .-nt uud the utter miser v
caused by thu lnck vl I. iting facili-
ties, not only is tho house dump with
its new plastered walls, but it is al
most impossible, to get wood; tho
price has risen sine the city became
the capital from 1 to and even at
that price there if Ho one to cut and
The reception niter dinner took
plae,. in thu oval room, which is tiow
the library, nud was at that time
barely habitable, though furnished, as
Mrs. Adams wrote, in "warm crim
son." The view from ihe window ou
that first ( 'lilisl inns day would have
disclosed what John S.uith describes
as "n deep morass covered with alder
Wltcn Men Weep.
It is one of tho lirst laws of the
philosophy of emotion that men
shall not cry. They must liud som-!
other outlet for their pent-up feelings.
The safest plan, perhaps, is to maiiu
I'n qui nt the u.so of the expressions,
"Dear mi!'' nnd "i lucss gra
cious!" which are perfectly harmless.
There nre, ns every olio must know,
times when even the stiongest men
are overcome by their feelings, nud a
terribly lieiirt-retidmg sight it is to
seen lug Inime convulsed with sobs
nud a proud, manly lace stained with
As a in'e. however, it is neither
puiu imr gi lef that w ill niiike a man
cry. Soldiers who will bear excru
ciating injuries without n moan, have
been known to bleak down when the
lights are lowered and sumo thilling
scene is portrayed on the Adelphi
Orators nnd singers are both subject
in nn i xiraoi-dniary degree to the
sway of emotion. Tears are- no un
common sight in the pulpit. In fuel,
there lift: lew pieacheis whose voices
ai-o not at times so fu.l that they ale
ehok.-d with leidtny, an I their eyes
bedimined with te,-irj. 'Fin n if yoil
glance around tie- husiu d assembly,
who nrc banging on the preacher's
words, yon will see many a man whose
cheeks are moist with sympathy.
The great Sptirgeoii would often
break down under stress of feeling
and Caution Liddon's utterance many
a time failed him from tho overwhelm
ing pathos which his emotional voice
Sims I! eves' "Tom Howling" nl
way.s affected tho famous singer, and
Mario was known break down
when the well of his gentle heart's
emotion was filled until the tears
Could no longer lu! held back.
When Charles Dickens put nn end
to the career of little I'.iul Dmnhoy,
the great writer went out into tho
darkness of the night nud found com
fort in tears. Many m. n nre over
come when reading books; ivrli
frivolous novels may contain a chap
ter w hic'i w ill make the threat husky
and b'.ur the pages till they become
Joh, i Bright was known on several
occasions to give way to his feelings
in delivering a public speech, while
Lord Kussell is often h. -atoii by the
pathos of his own impassione 1 lan
guage. Pittsburg I iispateh.
It is .-ry d.lli.-'ilt even I'm- u ,le I -r
in cheap clothing to g- t tiie better of
Put, a the follow ill ; story, told by a
London Journal, serves well to illus
trate. Fat was a witty Irisiiiuin, who had
just arrive 1 in L ni loii from the I'.mer
iihl Tsle. He was aimlessly wandering
about the town, when he perceived a
suit o! clotie-s at a sloqi door inscribed
"This superior suit of chillies for
half-price. " So in Pat wont and asked
"Just sixteen shilling, sir," said tho
"B.igolTii, that's cheap ell.iUgii!"
said Pat. "I'll take It."
When th - parcel w is tied up.he put
it under his arm, uu 1 laying eight
t-hilluigs mi the counter, was going
out -it tin-door, when tie? shopeeper
intercepted him, nud ilcinun led eight
shillings m itv.
'-Didn't you say, you spalpeen, that
the price ot tin- suit was sixteen shill
ings, ami sure haven't I given vou the
hall of il? And by this and by that I
won't o!e up my bargain."
A M'litM then ensiled and Pat wits
taken to the police cunt, where he
plea led his ciiisr so aldv that tlio
magistrate ili-ui; -s d th.! complaint,
nnd ndvis-,1 tie- t iilor new.-r ngnin to
ticket his g,, i li with "II t!f-price. "--Harper's
U iiiud Ta'i'e,
Tailor Thought I'd met some nervv
people, but - -
S en in iker Wh it now ?
Jailor I've had to press th e
tioiis, is lour times, and they uio not
even p-1 d for.
Shot maker That's nothing. I went
to collt-ei a bill for n pair ot shoe
yesterday and tl-w fellow k '!; , ;nj
out with Ibcni.
The sky is clouded, thu ro -k- an- bare,
Tho spray of the tempe-t is- white in air.
And winds are out with the waves at play
And I shall not tempt tho son to lay.
"Tho trail is narrow, the wood is dim.
Tho panther clings to ihe arching limb.
And Hi" lions uro abroad at play
And I shall not join in the rlmse today.
Hut the ship sailed safely over llie se,.
And the hunters earn" hoar' fr :n th" ehaso
And the town that was ln;ld -d upon tie'
Wns swall-'we I up in nn earth in shu'k,
Wife I wish you would put up
that curtain, J.ihn. John, nbs.'iitly,
How much do you think I c.iuld get
on It '!
Caller - Your oDici is ns hot ns nn
oven. Merchant -Weil it might be!
I make my dally bread here, you
First Poet Did you get a check
for your poem that you leu I to me a
little while ago? No; my usjiir.it s
got a check.
Old lady- Well, hero's t -n c.;iits
for ye; but 1 should hate to f-.el that
1 was enc eir.igiu' ye to drink. Trump
--I doiit ip-ed no encouragement,
in n in. "
Mazzig -Biowor was just remarking
to me that ail he is he owe, to his
mother, tinby Yes; nnd 1 under
stand that all he has he owes to III
father. Miss ( iiislni.gton llow did yuli
fei 1 w l.i u y on found that the ship
W'oiiM siu-ely go ,1 own iii tell minutes?
Cap'. S,,t ,i 1 fli ,,r a life pl
Miss Antique 1 don't see why
young married people make such fends
of tueins, Ives. O.d ti .udlellow -Maybe
II Is because they haw the
Dolor -An-you t rout. led w ith the
toothache'.' Moler (in ngoiiyi- Great
Caesar! Did you ever know a person
to have a toothache without being
troubled with it.
Passer, seizing pickpocket in the
net Here, what are you doing with
my watch? Pie'ipooket M iking it
Useful. You see, a watch is worthless
w ithoiit hands on it.
Wast I wish tin- restaurant fel
low would print his loll of fare in
Kugllsh so a fellow could tell whit he
is eating. (Vimsoub. mU 1 o you
want the fellow to lose all his ens
Teacher Now suppose th"i'e were
live bovs going skating, and th -v had
i only three pairs of sliates, how many
i boys Would have to look on? Boy I
j know ; tin: two that got tin; worst of
! the light !
Little I lai old - Mr. ('linger was
j bete last night. Fiddh bock Was
j he? Say, l'il give you n quarter il
1 yoti'il tell me whether he kissed your
! si-ier or not, "I can't do it. ' "Why
j Hot?" "She gave me a half dollar to
: keep quiet.
Piiilioad t 111 --1 :t 1 I m ist siy you
: put ratlu-r a high value on thai trunk.
; What's in il? P,s. i,g,.r 1 .1 lll't
i know. My wife piicited it. Olli'ial -;
Hum! Pel 'haps your estimate Is oil
! reel. Il'a woman ill I tiie packing,
I everything in the house is in it.
on'l Saw in 'their Yard.
I" lib rs a greater number of "way-
1'uivrs" l ban of Lit.- apply to tho
Inn ity b g-intat ion S iciely li.r aid,
the managers will lie oblige.! either to
; hire m ii to work in their woo 1 yard
- or suspend business.
j The Society conducts a Wayfarers'
Lodge at No. .Mi'. We; t Twenty --eighth
: street, and e ,11111 ct. d w ,th the lodge
is a woodya.d where applicants for
i-luiiity an-put to work sawing wood
for their board and lodging. Men
with homes are paid o" cenU u day
and live at home.
Since the stali'.ishini-nl of the
woodyurd th Society has I. mil up u
considerable trade, and lu-t year
kindling wood was s.,i,l to the amount
,,! .-slto.iHIH, which almost paid CX-
, -l Uses,
At present there nr.- very lew men
applying for work, hardly one-hall
the number of those who applied n
i venr ago, and if this co.iliuu ;.s the
i management will keoiuo embar
rassed, ; It is believed at the lodge thai tho
I reason so lew men nre apply ing foi
; aid is that more have obtained work
: this j-unr thuu last. New York Mail
I nud Express.
I Punished I'or Itnliuir n Boukej.
A private belonging to a legiment
of Highlanders ueeiitly ro-lo through
thu streets of (llusgo , Scotland, on
1 a donkey. Ho wus arrested uu 1 liuod
j Slo.To, or oue nuuth's imprisonment
1 for attaching rid culo to tlio Queen's