North Carolina Newspapers

(lxatltam Ucard. f)atl)am fUcoru. mm RATES or EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, ADVERTISING Oil square, one insertion- tl.GO One square, two insertions - 1.60 One square, one month 8.10 For larger advertisement hberl rcts will be made. $U0 PER YEAR Strictly In Jldvanei. VOL. XVIII. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, APRIL 16, 18. Ml NO. 3-1. Faster Hope, Wlii'ii winter's minions have w ithdrawn Their spectrul tents from hill uud plain, Auil drawn by vi'rmi'il-niiiiitli'il dawn, Comes spring to I'liiiin her own again. TllO willdlloWlT ill Its SUIlll'Sslecp Within its prison cliuuihcnfiill Feels sudden through ItslH'iliij; leap A vernal and ecstatic thrill. (opi hlils then look. O drooping heart, Heyond death's dark environing, When like the Mower thou, ton, shall start, Kcncwcd ns with tlio touch of spring. Clinton Scolliircl in Harper's Uazar. OALLA LILIES. ''C)h, Miulgo, I lmvo found tho dearest shell uud such a lot of iuk seaweed. " "Well, I'm fairly loaded down with treasures. Won't llio homo folks at the East bo delighted when we carry our trophies back? Only think, Lucy, the winter is gone mid for once in our lives wo hnveii't heen hiiow. To morrow in Faster, you know." They were dragg'cd mid hnii'-disliev-cled, these two girls, whoso merry voices were caught by tho impudent west wind and carried over tlio hand domo piled up by the advancing Waves that screened the liltlo eottngo just beyond from tlio view of tho treasure seekers on the beach. Tin; breakers had dashed their pretty tour ist dresses with salt hp ray more than oueo when their interest in searching for sea secrets had made them obliv ious of their proximity. Such glad, happy voices they were, so full of youth's abundant enthusi asm, so vibrant with life's sweet im pulses that the solitary man standing in the door of his vine-covered cottage turned his face in the direct ion from whence they cnine, n nil, shading his eyes with one muscular hand, listened. His face was not 11 happy one, mid his eyes really tine eyes they were, full of possibilities of loving were brimmed with discontented shadows. The mini's form, as he stood there, quite filled the doorway, suggesting the thought that his measurement niu-t have been taken when the cabin was constructed, and the entrance, made an exact fit witli little or no spncu to spare. This suggestion of economy was carried nut even more noticeably in the interior arrangement of the tiny- abode. The lioil, a rude all'air of 1111 dromjd boards and army blankets, together wilh a chest of toulH, ex actly fitted across one end of the single loom. A few necessary cooking utoiisils and a more lavish display of garden tool-4 occupied every uvailahlespaec upon the walls of this diminutive i soiblisbiiiout, where, notwithstanding its compact ness, "order reigned supreme." Kvery article that could by any poisiblo means be hung upon tli - wall had its own particular nail, nnd was in its place. That tho man was orderly in all his belongings could bo seen at a glance. Even the (lowers in the garden grew in prim, deeided rows, and the cottage tloor was without the Usual in dications of masculine housekeeping. Having noticed these things, one nat urally becomes desirous of a closer ao quuiutauce with the man, who, living nn existence of utter isolation, sur rounds himself with so many refilling influences. i "Tlicro is Bomo uncommon el ment of attraction in the man's moody faei, and one cuu almost imagine the mouth to bo sensitively curved under its heavy growth of bnird. Looking at him hi he stands under the luxuriant Swaying vines hanging from li s cot tago eaves, you feel tint it is alio mistake, this hermit life of his. Nature nover intended him for a recluse. His heart is too large; too lavish with af fectionate impulses that have striven to Mud satisfaction in the flowers he Las cultivated for tho very love of them. There should bo a sweet-faced Woman at his side, nml children at play anion;; tho flowers. There are some p -opto so emiuoutly fitted for tho genuine homu liio that thoy carry suggestions of it about them like the fragrance of a per fume that cannot be separated from their personality. Hugh Andrews realized his weakness. Ho knew that the flutter of feminine skirts and tho ripple of chil lish laughter filled his Whole being wilh btrango tenderness, (tnd knowing this ho fought against it Vith stubborn determination rarely exercised in the completing of un worthy passions. Years ago he had vowel to hate hu manity, and because his better Helf would not permit him to accomplish his purpuRO in the active walks of life, Burrotiuded by warm pulsating hu man hearts, he withdrew from among them, and went West ; as far West as it was possible, and made u little houm for himself among tho solitudes of the Pacific coust. He was rich in broad acres of wild pasture land, and content that they should rcprescut his wealth. Hut of lute an eastern syndicate dis covering the future possibilities ot tho place had made hi in a magnificent offer fur his sage-covered acres, which he had indignantly refused. What cared ho for gold? His wants were few, and his scanty income jtiite sup plied them. His dog, his cow, his saddle horse inul his flowers were his companions. All ho asked of the woriil was to let him entirely alone in his lonely corner, and even this mod est request was denied. Failing in their ut tempts to secure his lands the syndicate had purchased those adj i ceiit, and the motor brought crowds of pleasure-seekers to his very door three times n day. Must ho go away from his friend, the ocean, and seek some lest attractive solitude? Was there any place in all the earth where curious, prying tourists would not venture? Ho thought he was trying to forget the dark chapter of his life, and all tho whiic lie was nursing tho mem ory of it in his resentment to man kind. "And so tomorrow is Laster, " ho mused, us tho girlish voices grew faint and fainter with tho lengthening dis tance between. "I used to keep holi days in that other life of mine; but I have kept no record of them for 10 veins. 1 was to have married Edna Lldrcd on Luster Sunday, 10 years ago." His eyes turned with pathetic longing to the bank of snowy ealla lilies swaying their waxen goblets in tho breezi at his side. Oa Faster Sunday, 10 years ago tomorrow," he repeated sadly. "I wonder that 1 have cared for calla lilies since, for they always reminded me of her; but somehow my lite would be incomplete, without thmi." Was it quito com plete with them. He seemed to think so, but his faco did not mirror the completeness. "J bought F Ina a calla lily bulb at Christmas time that year," ho con tinued, "and wv said that its first blossom should unfold for our wed ding day. How we watched that bin), my little sweetheart and I, for she was niino then, before my college chum, Walter licntoii camo with his greater facinatioii, and deliberately set iiliout winning her heart from me. That first calla lily bit 1 opened to full perfection on Lister Sunday, and crowned hi -i wedding feast, not mine. " Ho was bending over tho lilies, al most caressing them with his strong hands, and did not see the eager little face pressed against the rude fence by which his garden w.is inclosed. A moment later he w,n startled by a soft, childish voice lisping: "I'leasc, Mr. Man, may I have ono lily for my pretty mamma's Lister ?" Turning about, this picture met his gaze : A round, rosy face, w ide en treating biuo eyes, a dimpled chin resting on the topmost slat of the fence, the tips of teu rosy lingers, a wide-rimmed hat blown backward and a mass of fluffy hair tossing about in golden confusion. Had ho schooled his heart for nothing all these years, that such a strong desire to take the darling in his arms and kiss her soft little mouth should till him with long ing now ? " Mamma says that Lister is never a happy day for her," continued tho child with a inithotio break in her voice, like the beginning of a sob, "and I guei-B that one of those pretty lilies would make her forget that she cuu t bo happy on Latter. Lilies ought to make people very happy, but you h ivo such a many, and you dou't look vary happy. " A little lady came flying along the beach beyond the stud dome, calling distractedly : "Kthel, Libel, oh, whoro aro you, my child ? " 'Here, mamma. Do como and soo the pretty lilies." Directed by tho child's voice, tho little woman ciuie toward the cottage, and not seeing tho gentleman at first, began reprovingly: Only think what my naughty daughter has don) now. While f have been searching for you the last motor left for tho city, and wo must now spend tho night in this lonely place." Then becoming conscious of anothor presence, she tnruoil uer troubled face toward him. Thoir eyes met with iustaut recog nition. ''Hugh!" both hinds .vent out to him entreatiugl.v, "forgive." Walter?" There was a touch of the old resentment in his voice, and his questioning ghiuee fell ou tho child. One must remember only good things of the dead," she said softly. Vint naughty iniiii, you've made my pretty mamma cry, and you was going to give tier a Illy to make her happy," tho child's indignant voice protested. She shall have them if she will como ami taku tueiu. ill you, Edua, ? " The bitik ot snowy lilies was bo twecn them the lilies am1 the littli child in whoso dimpled hands tin gate stood open but tho fiiir-fueei. woman saw neither the lilies nor the child at that moment. She saw only the true lovo entreating her in the eyes of the man she had never ceased to love, nnd remembering tho great wrong she had done him, and his years of exile, she passed through tho gate and into tho circle of his arms. Detroit Free Press. Change of Color in Animals. In cold countries, upon the ap pronch of winter, tho fur of the ani mals begins to change in color. Tie black-coated creature begins to turn dust-color and gray, finally tho color fades out ami tho animal becomes pure white. Tins is tint lire's provision for their protection, as, were they to retain their dark color, it would be ex tremely easy to sue nnd cipturo them on tho snow-covered surface. The Arctic haro is an interesting exuuii of this change. In summer it is on the upper side black, with light-h'-own mixed; when cold weather approaches the fur fiules out nnd becomes snowy white, except ut the tips of the curs, which retain tho dark color. Tin si little animals are wonderfully hardy and prolific, nnd expeditions hav found them of great vuluo us n food supply in time of nocossity. There is also a much larger hare, know n ns the polar here. This animal has u some w hat fluffy coat, and it takes a very sharp eye to detect -it when ritnnin;j over n field of I'ght snow. Then also an Arctic fox that changes color in the same way. It is very small, and a most beautiful creature. In summer its fur is a delicate shite gray; when the snow comes the hair becomes won derfully thick and long, especially on the tail and feet. To bring the sum mer and winter coats of this animal together, it would seem impossible that they came from tho hiiiio crea ture. These foxes are very sly and till usually intelligent. They are most accomplished thieves, appearing to steal for the fun of it, as they carry ii way nrticli'H that coii'd by no possi bility bo of any use to them. Tho or mine is another of the coat-changing creatures. 1 n summer its fur is of rich mahogany brown, but in winter it acquires that beautiful white with which we are so familiar. New York Ledger. Stopping MurliiiH'i-y hy Electricity. Tho sad loss of lifo an I limb, which occurs much too often, should, if M. L. Lueicn Meyer's invention is adopted, bo minimized. Ho describes his contrivance ns one that is capable of bringing to immediate standstill all tho machines in a large factory at the moment a cry gives warning that some one has been caught by clothing, hair or limb, an 1 is being dragged between rollers and cog i. A number of elec tro magnets are brought into ncti'ou by tho pressure of any of a series of contact buttons, fixed up at very con spicuous points in a shop, and these control valves which shut olT the mo tive power, whether steam, air, water or electricity. At the bumo instant brake of great clT Mitivonoss is brought against tho periphery of the fly wheels. At a recent trial a twenty horse power engine, working at niuety revolutions, under a pressure of seven kilogrammes, was stopped by tho ap paratus in two-thirds of a second. Al though the starting and keeping in motion of machinery may bo taken as all important objects from an engi neer's point of viow, there is a very decided advautago to bo derived from being able to slop it, if necessary, ou tho iustaut. London Machinery Mar ket. The Meanest Mean Man." To tho largo number of stories of tho "meanest mau" which aro fre quently related should bo added that of a certain Frenchman famous for his habit of grumbling at everything and on every o-eision. Ho was attacked by intl iiutnstory rheumatism and was very carefully nursed by his wife, who was very devoted to him in spito of his fault finding dis position. His bufferings caused her to burst iuto tears some times as she sat by his bedside. One day a friend of this invalid camo in and asked how ho was a getting on. "Uadly, badly," ho exclaimed. an I it is all my wife's fault. "Is it posublo?" aske 1 his friend in sni p rise. "Yes; tho d ;tor t d.l m i that humidity was bad tor me, and tli-re that woman silt ami ci tes ju t to in iL it m list in the ro on. " -1'eannii Weekly. At tho I'niou depot in Cneugo there is au average of nearly ten train i an hour and of 31, Out) passengers a dt.whilo 1,000,000 pieoos of bijgigj a fear cae handled. CIIILDREX'S COIitM.V. WHAT lll'TIl WANTS. Hear little Hath went vlsilinif, And came home very sad, for all her hahy friends she'd found, (intiidpits ami grandmas had, And many aunts and uneles too Kin she had never known Though a sister kiwi, and hrolhers two, Ami parents are Iht own. Ho, si ralk'ht she sought her fond miiinma On her small lirow a frown And "dear mamma," she gravely said, "When next you go to town, I want you there to buy for mo A gray-haired grandpa pn, And some nice aunts and alleles, mid A darling grandmamma. J'or all the other little girls Have foHs like those I've named, Ami when they knew I hadn't one, 1 did feel ro nslui i ! " Detroit I'ree Press. A ri'.r nrrrKUKi.v. In a Huston paper, the Transcript, a correspondent, an invalid lady, tells of how idie made a pet in her sick room of a butterfly. It is an inter esting experiment that any of you can try later. In the early HUinmer she noticed a milkweed cattorpillar travel ing across tiie floor, and to slop it temporarily for a look at it she put a tumbler over it. To her surprise, tin; worm proceeded at once to spin his little web "and hang himself head downward, from the bottom of the covering gluss in such wise that in the course of two days we saw tho wholu process of change, even to tho split ting of tho caterpillar skin ami the final wriggle froiii it that changed him into a most exquisite transparent, Nile-green chrysalis, buttoned with gold. Toward the end of two weeks this began to grow opaque, ami grad ually we saw from nnd ,-r it the thorax antennae, head, wings and ab loininal rings in perfect coloring of black and red." Then one line morning he burst out a butterfly, though wilh tiny wings no bigger than dime pieces. Tho wings grew wilh great rapidity, and after the little creature expanded to his full size ho became very socia ble. Ho liked to bo held ou the lin ger, "and after I had onco unrolled his proboscis with u pin mid guided it to a drop of sugared water, he quick ly learned to find his feed and sucked it up greedily. A few days later he floated away out of the window." It must have been very exciting to watch him change and grow from a grub to a butterfly, and as milkweed cutorpil liyjj; aro very common, it will bu easy to repeat tho occurrence when warm weather comes again. New York times. A MOI'SR NTOHV. A lady living in my house in the Country announced to me that she had tamed a family of mice, consisting ol a father and mother and se ven young liiouso children, who hud made their nest iu tho partially decayed sash frame of tho window in her first floor bed room, which had an opening on to the sill outside. Sho further stated that she could identify each of the members of this family, mid could in duce them to como at hor cail and leeu out oi ner Hand. llicso statements appeared so incredible that I felt compelled to express my disbelief iu them in the absence of personal proof of their veracity, nnd she therefore requested mo to accom pany her to her room, there to receive such evidenc ) as would satisfy my loubts. I went and stood with her close to tho open w indow, and she culled tho mice by tho names, 'Tim," Tom," "Jack" and so on, to which sho assorted that she had accustomed them, ami I saw them como one by ouc, on to tho window lodge, where they ate bread out of her hand, and subsequently out of my own, not timidly, but as if in full assurance of safety. On the afternoon of tho same day I had a small tennis party in the garden ou to which this bedroom looked. My cousin, whoso Christian niinio is dim. was playing tennis, aud several of the party, including myself, wore sitting iu the garden beneath tlio house win- low, when afternoon tea was brought out to us, and I called loudly, "Jim," 'Jim," several times to communicate that fact to my cousin. At tho third or fourth cull something rau across tho path, mill one of tho party ini- ulsively threw his low hat at it, oud killed what we found to bo a mouse. Tho mouse turner was not of the party, and knew nothing of tho occur rence, to which, indeed, nono of us at tached more than a passing import ance. The next morning, however, still iu ignorance of tho incident, she distrcssedly informed ns that her little "Jim" hud disappearel from her fam ily, and that, although tho others ap peared as usnul at her call, he re inaiued absent; aud I know that he ueter reappeared. The Spects""', Till: ABYSSIXIAXS. They Are the Oldest Nation of Christians in The World. . The Conquerors of Thy Italians Scalp Tho Slain. The empire of Abyssinia fell into the hands of Italy through tho death of Meiielek 1., king of Shon, and the Italians find t hemeslves, alter luaiiy years of warfare, costing tho lives of thousands of men and millions of dol lars, in only partial possession of a land once thought to be tho scene of the c 'useless warfare between the lion and the unicorn, a laud where the rivers refu.-ed to flow unless overbeds of precious stones ; who-o mountains were of solid gold the homo of tho qu 'en of Shchu, w ho gathered from its riches tho treasures which iiiinized King Solomon, and Ii no 1 i v the land which, Ulidi l llu inline of Kthiopui.hiia a hititory m marvelous as that of I'.gypt, for whose throne, in fact, it actually furnished many inoir.irchs. That is the Abyssinia of traditiou. Iu reality it it; nothing to boast of. Italy has acquired nothing but u few thoiisiiid miles of extra territory, peo pled by inhabitants who eat their meat raw, w ho practice cruel tortures, w ho out a man's head oil' for debt.und who, strangely enough, profess to bo the oldest body of Christians in the world. The typic d Abyssinian is a tough cu-toiuer. Ho would cast his father into prison for a small debt, chain his mother-in-law to a .o-t for some slight infraction of domestic disei pliins, and then calmly go to church to worship with a clear e m-cieiiee. His torians tell us that he was originally a Caucasian, but ho has welcomed i:,-yitian, Hebrew, Arab, Greek and l'ol'tiiguc.ic into his civilization without restraint, and as ho stands today he is literally all things to till men. There are probably half a mil lion of him scattered over lUO.OOO miles of territory, and ho has ached to get a chance at the Italians, who profess to despise him, but who iu half a hundred buttles and t-kirini.-dics hnvi) had their hands full. The Abyssinian has boon fighting against Fiiiopeau Hipreiiiuey foryears. Old king Theodore and then king John, iu the good old days, used to make prisoners of all embassies sent out to them by foreign governments, and then would tight the relief parties sent out for their rescue. These ex changes of courtesies continued for a quarter of a century, but the wily foreigner soon suppressed John. There are Homo lillO.OOO lighting men in the kingdom, lK.IIOH of whom have become possessed of rill s. Tho Abyssinian lights mostly with a sword which has a blade of good steel two feet long and u razor-like hook almost as long. Willi this he can reach over an enemy's shield ami pound a holo iu him before he knows what has hurt him. He is also fully armed with spears, javelins and other weapons, and when a cloud of warriors, thou sands strong, and thus armed, sudden ly appear iu front of a detached c.d u in u of lviropean infantry, annihila tion generally follows. Tho practice of scalping, strangely enough, is part of the Abys .iniati warfare, and the ghastly trophies thus gathered consti tute an Aby.isiniuu's best claim to rec ognition as a warrior. ButpsueoliH its victories for this strange people as well as war. Thus, for killing an elephant single handed ho is permitted to wear a silver chain, for a lion a similar ornament, etc. When ho has killed ono foo his head is shaved, with tho exception of a single plait ; for two enemies he is al lowed two plaiti, and so on until five adversaries have fallen before his prowess, mid thell ho is allowed to let it grow at will. Abyssinia has been governed for a century pust by kings who exercise a limited authority. The warrior popu lation is too independent to submit to tyranny, ns inoro than one monarch has found to his soriow. l'ach dis trict submits to the ipi isi authority of a chief, and this has le 1 to a queer administration of the law. Tho Mj aaie interpretations are earned out iu detail, and "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" is the basic princi ple underlying the Abyssinian code. The whole criminal code is merciless in ita infliction of penalties. Thieves are publicly whipped, and to heighten the moral effect of the chastisement on iho community the prisoner is made to cry out with each lash, "Take heed nnd profit by my unfortunate po sition. To test their insensibility to pain, a group of Abyssinian warriors will seat themselves iu a circle, haro their arms and invito their gill friends to place lighted tind'jr ou tho exposed tkitv. Then, while the flesh sizzles, he will smile uud keep up an animated con ver-ntiou, obvious to the pain. The strange features of 'his strange people, however, is their rclijion. They lay claim to Christianity, dating their conversion back to primitive times, and that they do observe the tonus and ritual of that faith there is no doubt. Kjligioiis feasts uud fasts ure incredibly nuineroils.aud are obsei ved with piinctillioiis regard. It is said that the fast days iu a single year number over l!(il. They do not practice the generally accepted doctrine of cleanliness being next to godliness, however, and tho feast of St. John is regarded ns the universal day when Abyssinia cleans up for the year. Tin; true Abyf-sinian regards it pagan at all times to wash his clothing or his body, with the ex ception of the hands or feet when starling on a journey. New York Dispatch. How Camphor is .Made. One of the principal products of tho territory which has come under Japanese udmiuistriitiou as u result of the war with China, is camphor. Small shanties arc scattered over the hills w hi r tin; camphor trees grow, and in all directions the clearing of the woods is going on at a lap.d late. Ou the hillsides are built distilleries, consisting of oblong-shaped structures principally of mud bricks, and about teu or twelve feet Ion,', six feet broad and four feet high. "Ou each Hide there are five to ten fire holes about a foot apart and the sunn; distance above the ground. Oil each fire bole is placed an eartheru pot fuil of water, and above it a cyl indrical tube, about a foot ill diame ter and two feet high, passes up through tho Ktrileturo and appears above it. The tube is capped by a large in verted jir, with a packing of dump hemp between the jar and the cylinder to prevent the escape of steam. The cylinder is filled with chips of wood about tho size of the little linger, which rests ou a per forated lid covering the j ir of water, so that when the steam rises it pusses up to the inverted jar, or condenser, absorbing certain resinous matter from the wood ou its way. While distillation is going on an es sential oil is produced and is found mixed with the water on the inside of Iho jar. When the jar is removed, tho beady drops aolidlfy, ehrystalizu tiou commences uud camphor iu a crude form, looking like newly-formed snow, is detached by tho hands, placed in baskets liued with plantan leaves uud hurried ofT to tho nearest border tow n for sale. With regard to camphor as in other commercial matters, the Cuiuesii gov ernment has acted very foolishly. For over thirty years there has been a constant demand for camphor, uud yet the administration his dotie noth ing to prevent tho reckless waste of the forests and tali en no steps to pro vide for the reafforestation of umu habited tracts useless for cultivation. Scottish (icograpnic.il M ga'.ino. (mo Antique Phrases. Some interesting bits of philology aro given in a recent number of the (ilaegow Christian Leader. "Conspic uous by its absence," we urc tmld, is an expression used by Lord ltus,ell in a speech iiuido by him in IMol), but tho expression is us old us Tacit us, having been employed by that histo rian in exactly the sniiie way ns by Lord John Kussell, w ho, being it tin ished classical scholar, nodoiibt trans lated uud adapted it to his own uso. The phrase "to die iu tho lat ditdV' was first used by William, prince of Orange, who, during tho war with France, was naked what he Would do iu case the troops of Holland weio de feated in the field, and who replied: "1 will die iu the last ditch." The "baker's dozen," meaning 1 hi i toon, dates back to the time of Kdwurd I, when very ii;id laws were euated re garding the sale of bread by linkers. The punishment for falling short iu the sale of loaves by the dozen was so severe that iu order to run no risk the bakers were accustomed to give thir teen or fouiteeu loaves to tho dozen, and thiisaiose this peeuliurcxprcssion. The t-obriqiiet "Father of his coun try" dates further back than the time of Oeorgo Washington, being first ap plied to Murius, the Homuu, who, I!. C. 10'J and 101, won signal victories over tho northern burburiaus. Matins declined the houor, but tho name was afterwards given to Cicer;, then to several more or less worthy Uoiuui. emperors, and liually to Washington, win', by Ins enemies, was also termed tho "stepfather of his country." Port Slid, tho terminus of the Sueas canal, enjoys the reputation of beiug the wickedest place iu the world. Wishing and Working. Tho boy who's always wishing 'J lint this or that miizl t he, lint never tries his inetlle, Is the hoy Unit's hound to son His plans all come to failure, His hopes end in defeat; i'l.r that's what eomes when wishing And working fail to meet. The boy who wishes this thing Or that tli oik' with a will 't hat spurs him on to le'timi. And keeps liim trying still When effort n ts with failure, Will some day surely win : 1'or he works out what he wishes, And that's where "luek" eomes lilt The "luek" Hint I believe in Is that whh'li comes with work, And no one ever llnds it Who's content to wi;-h and shirk. The men the world culls "lucky" Will (ell you. every one, That success comes, not hy wishing: lint by hunt W ork, bravely done. - -KlIKN I'.. ItEXlolin. Jl I'M 01(0 1'S. It is not iic-cowiry to uso water in pouring over a book. "Hcwiiro of imitation," us tho mon key said o the dude. A good lawyer is not a necessity, for necessity kuows no law. Full's iu the newspapers help many merchants to "ruise the wind." All men aro not homdess, but some in e-u are home less than others. A telegraph wire is like a mous tache. It is of no uso when it is down. When a convict's watch runs down it does not necessarily follow that his time has expired. When a cow gives you a horn it is more polite than truthful to say you have hud a milk punch, A disagreeable old bachelor says that tho only time a woman does not. exaggerate is when she Is talking of her age. 'I he j t (.'mailed in deep iimny 'Neath CMinnicntH nualviic, '(Hi. fur some pen," they heard him say, "To criticise il ritie : "' Willie I knew you were coming to night. Custletoii-Why, Willie. Willie S. Hler h is been nidcop all af ternoon. The evil that men do lives after tin in. Kvetl when an amateur Cor nells! dies, ho leaves the fatal instru me'it behind. There was one; a professor who being asked what ho knew upon a certain subject, replied "Nothing; I have not even lectured on it." A smart young man picked up a flower iu the ball room after all the girls hud gone, mid sung, pathetically. "Tis the last rosj ol some her." It rather annoys a woman after sho lias hud a child christened some 1 1 in t lit i; Indian name, to learn that the inline, translated, melius "old boots." A young lover paid $ bl for a loco motive to run him do miles to see his girl, and when ho got there the fainily buildog ran him two miles and didn't charge him a cent. llortense Did yoiisay Mr.Spooner swore all sorts of things on his bonded kuetvs last night? Henrietta Yes. there was an upturned tack on the curpct just where he kneeled. ".Maid of Allien-., ere we part, (iive me buck my silver heart, "1 enu't," the el -vei damsel cried, "My le w l"'tiu's pi lure i inside.'' "Yes," said lb; wool dealer, 'T prefer to sell Wood to in- u w ho do their own sawing. You can't convince a man who has wmktd all day at a wood pile that there isn't a full cord of it." "With all my experience of legis lation," says the vet ran councilman, "ihere is .ne lull to which J am op posed, but wh.c'i I nm always com pelled to pis, and that's my wife's millinery biil." A I'iiiladelphiii hoardim; house keeper won't take any but pretty girl and s isceptiblo young men. Thosa who full ill love ale seated together lit tiie table, and, of course, lose their appetit.H. She is getting rich. Some genius bus invented a ma chine l . .In y pianos. This will fill u l.iliL.; felt want. W hell t w o young peo ple of opposite sex are in the parlor iu the evening, the old lady don't be gin to saunter iu until the piano stops. Win-ii a woman i uho9 out into tin) y-ird, her eyes flashing with executive determination, and picks up a piece ol boar 1 to throw ut a hen, it is interest iu ; to si- liow quickly all tho children i ,e in : in the vicinity will run iu Ii a: id her to prevent being hit. A lawyer recently lost a bride iu a peculiar way. Ho appeared jit tho Wedding, but ou being called to the c lemony, from sheer force of habit, protei-ted that ho was uot ready to pioc vd, and demanded delay. Aud ao the bride got mad aud shippad him.