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EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
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VOL. XVIII.
PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. 0., JUNE 4, 189G.
NO. 41.
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U
The Happiest Heart.
Who drives the horses of the sou
Rhull lord It hut a day:
Better the lowly ili'od were done,
Ami kept the humble, way.
Thti rust will flti rl the sword of fame ;
Tho dust will hide the itowii ;
Ay. none shall nail so high his name
Time will not tear it down.
The happiest .heart that ever beat
Was in Borne uiet breast
That found the common daylight sweet
And left to heaven tbn rest.
John Vonee Cheney.
IN A BOTTLE.
It was a beautiful day in midsum
mer, ami tlio bnlf-n-huudred-odd cabiu
passengers on tlio good steamship
N'autio wore listlessly lounging ubout
the deck.
Tbcy were already niuo days out
from Livorpool, and owitig to an un
fortunate accident, which hud occurred
early on tho voyage, only half the
distance to their port of destination
bad beau accomplished.
Tho accident bad boun attended with
no danger to tbo precious human
freight, but tho monotony of tho voy
age was becoming unbearable, and tho
passengers wore begiuuiug to grum
ble. Every artifice bad been resorted to
to relievo tbo tedium of tbo slowly
moving days, and now they were liter
wily at their wits' cud.
Charades, mock trials, skcttles and
amateur theatricals, had in turn been
resorted to, but now, with their faces
turned longingly toward homo, they
lounged about the deck, und bemoaned
their sad fate.
A particularly discontented group
leaned against the port-rail, nmid
ebip, composed of two young ladies,
showily dressed, two young men who
looked rather jaunty in their semi
sailor dress, a stoii', red-fueed,coarse-lookiug
man, and an equally stout
n d-faced and coarse-looking woman.
The two latter were culled "papa"
mid "iuiimni:i"hy the simpering young
ladies, nnd deferonti illy addressed as
Mr. and Mrs. (Sale by the young men
in semi-sailor diets.
They were venting their indignation
against tho steamship, and tho coin
liiuatiou of untoward circumstances
that hod delayed their voyoge.
Standing n little apart from the
group was a slim, pale-faced girl, in u
dress of rpiiot gray, unrelieved save
nt the throat, whero u bit of cherry
colored ribbon was gathered into a
prim bow.
This was Eisio Annabel, and she
was maid and companion to tho
Misses (rile, who were named re
spectively Agues and Eunice.
Sho took no part in the conversa
tion, but there was a sad and wistful
look in tho gray eyes, as sho turned
ber fuo toward tho western horizon.
"It's outrageous!" cried Papa
Gale.
"Shameful!" echoed bis wife.
"It's killing me!" sighed Miss
Eunice.
"I am roully faint with ennui!"
chirruped Miss Agnes.
"It's deueedly unfortunate!" cho
rused tho young men.
"If something would only happen !"
Continued Agnes.
"I tell you what," cried tho elder
of tho young men, addressing Miss
Eunice, in particular.
"Well?" interrogated that young
lady, with a listless attempt at inter
est. "Let's write letters to our friends,
enclose them in bottles, and throw
them overboard. They're iu doubt
coiisiderobly worried over our long
absence, and as it's impossible to tup
the cable aud telegraph them it in as -sage,
wo'll make old ocean's waves our
letter carrier."
"Pshaw, Rob !" retorted Miss Eu
nice, shrugging her shouldrs. "How
Boutimentul you are! As though a
lotter put into n bottlo ami thrown
into tho sea would ever reach any
where !"
"I've read somewhere," said Rob
Carringtoti, "that shipwrcckid sail
ors often send mesagos to their
friends that way. We're about as bud
as shipwrecked, why can't we?"
"Let's ask the captain !"said Eunice ;
aud alio walked toward that officer,
who was moodily pacing up aud down
the bridge.
The others followed.
"Yes, Miss," answered the captain,
when Euuiei had asked him about the
possibility of tho bottlo being washed
ahore. "I've no doubt they'll each
laud somewhere. Tho steward wili
furnish you with bottles if you desiru
to make the experiment."
There was something novel in Hie
idea, and every empty bottlo on ship
board was soon brought on deck.
Everybody, young and old, began
to write let' era everybody except
Elsie Ancabcl.
No wafting kindrtd anxiously ex
pected ber return, nnd the only real
friend sbo bud ever bad, handsome
Ony Chalmers, was lost to ber.
Two years beforj she bad engaged
herself to tho young artist, but they
had quarreled, and separated iu anger,
as lovers will.
She was too proud to ask bis for
giveness, and bo was too stubborn to
ask hers.
Gradually tboy bad drifted apart,
and fiually they lost all sight of each
other.
Elsie sighed as tbeso thoughts of
the past surged through her mind,
and she sighed a bitter, quivering
sigh.
Pupa Gale was a rich pork mer
chant, aud, in his rough way, was kiud
to ber.
He paid ber liberally for tho servico
she rendered in polishiug up the some
what ueglectod educations of his two
daughters, but they were selfish aud
caprieious.aud her lot was not, by any
menus, a happy one.
The steamship's deck now rang with
joyous laughter aud merry jest, as the
passengers prepared tho messages that
they confidently hoped would bo wafted
bb ore ward.
All sorts of letters were written,
read over laughingly, placed in their
frail receptacles, and cast iuto tho sea.
Even tho sailors became interested
in the experiment, aud sent out mes
sages to wailing friends, or anxious
sweethearts iu dear America.
"JImvo you written your message
yet, Miss Annabel?" asked Agnes
OjIo, haltib'g for a moment beside ber
maid, as she leaned over the rail aud
watched tbo tightly-corked bottles, as
they bobbed up and down.
"My message?" cried Elsie, with a
guilty start, for she bad just been
thinking of Guy Chalmers. "Ah oh
really I have no oue to write to!"
"No one?" persisted Agues.
"Xo!" was tho low answer, and El
sio's eyes dropped.
"That's too bad!" said Agnes, com
lniscrutiugly. "Everybody is send
ing ont a message. If I were you I'd
just write something and send it off at
random. You could sign your name
and address, and perhaps some ouo
would find it who'd lie anxious to
know w ' you nro and would write.
That would bo romantic I"
"I've no lasto for romance!" an
swered Elsie, but sho nevertheless pro
cured a bottle, and after a moment's
thought, wrote on a piece of paper.
"is Mip-Oi'eas on Stramph Xantic,
August 12 An accident which hap
pened to our propeller has delayed
our voyage, and we are nine days out
from Liverpool. The captain says
we are just half way between that port
and New lork. Everybody is well.
"Elsie Annabel,
"Care of John (Sale, Esq.,
"Walnut Hills, Cincinnati, Ohio."
Khe placed this simple message in n
bottlo.eorked ami sealed it, ami tossed
it overboard.
Tho bottlo was particularly long
necked, bright green iucolor,aud her
inexperienced hand bad smeared the
whole top with red ink.
Sho stood watching it a loug time,
but finally it disappeared, nnd, with
a weary sigh, sho turned and went
below.
Tho N'antic ultimately reached Xow
York, and Mr. John G.ile hurried
back to Cincinnati, to attend io bis
pork.
Rob Carriugton and bis cousin, Ar
thur Stevens, bade tho Misses (Kilo fare
well, aud secretly promised to corre
spond with them.
Tho (Sales had been homo nearly a
month, when . one morning a hired
hack came slowly up the long cirriago
road, which wound through the rich
pork-paokor's extensive grounds, and,
when it finally reached the hou-c, tho
door opened ami a young man leaped
lightly to the ground.
Ho inquired of tho servant who an
swered his ring for Miss E'sio Anna
bel, and the man showed him iuto tho
buck parlor.
Elsio was considerably surprised
when tidd that a gcutlcman wished to
see ber below, but sho wont down, and
timidly approached the back parlor.
She stopped for 11 moment on the
threshold, and the geutieman, who
li ml biicu idly drumming on tho win
dow, turned.
At tho sight of bis fuce sho reelod,
and would have fallen had bo not
sprang forward and caught ber in his
arms.
"Elsie, my dai!ni, !" bo said,
holding ber very tightly. "Have you
no word of welcome for me ?"
"Oh, Guy I" slm murmured, as her
eyes met bis. "Have you really come
back to me ? I have been so loiielv
without you ! Forgive mo for my
cruelly."
"it is 1 who Iiav ) coiiu to ask for
giveno.h!" said Guy, leudiujher ton
seat. "After we parted, two years
ago, and I got over my stubbornness,
I tried to fin I you, bii' yju had dis
appeared, leaving no troca behind
you- I was inconsolable, and re
proached myself for my btirshnoss,
because it was nil my fault. Finally,
however, I grew moody and cynical,
but I could never bring myself to
think of you with aught but love and
tenderness. Six mouths after you
disappeared ray old undo died, and
left mo his heir. Since that time I
have hunte l for you for and wide.
Last summer I took a run along tho
coast in my yacht, stopping at every
port. Two weeks ago we wero lying
off Capo Breton iu a dead calm. One
of the sailors called my attention to a
bottlo that was drifting by us I fished
it up with a scoop net. It was sealed,
aud all gathered around to see what it
contained. I broke the neck, aud
found this littlo nolo," aud he pro
duced from au inner pockot tho iden
tical messngo she had written on board
the Nantio, iu mid-ocean. "You can
imagine my joy at tho strango discov
ery of your hiding-place, and, a
breeze springing up, I ordered tbo
yacht put about, aud we ran into
Halifax. I have come to you as fast
as steam would carry me, to nsk your
forgiveness, nnd assure you that I
have never ceased to lo'o you."
What answer she made bun can but
bo imngiued. Anyway when Pupa
(Sale returned to dinner ho heard the
whole btory, and declored in bis heurty
way that he'd give away the bride.
Accordingly as soon as a suitable
trousseau could bo preporcd, tho two
so stranglcy reunited wero mnde oue.
The Misses (Sale officiated as brides
maids, and Bob Carriugton and bis
cousin were the groom's best men.
Papa Gale, true to bis word, gavo
tho bride away, and the great pyramid
of flowers which occupied the centre of
the banquet table was crowned by the
identical bottle that was responsible
for the happy event.
Iceberg riieiioiiiena.
The occurrence of ice in tbo com
paratively low lntitudesof Cape Hoin
ami the Falkland Islands is easily ex-
' plain !, savs the Pall Mail Gazette.
The ice has originally formed part of
the great barrier which, with very few
breaks, surroiin is the vast Antarctic
i continent, risiug to an overage height
of from l."0 feet to 200 feet above,
' and sinking from l,10i) feet to 1,400
; feet below tbo level of the sea, and
having, moreovcr.a thickness of some
thing like 1,200 feet or 1,500 feet.
It is a solid perpendicular wall of iee,
formed by the descent over tho low
lands into the sea of the ico and mow
which form on the mouutiaus inland.
and when tbo forefronts are pushed
iuto depths of ubout 300 or 100 fathoms
largo stretches are broken off and
float away northward with the current,
When they start on their aimless
careers they may be miles iu extent,
aud though, as a rule, they break up
by collision and erosiou.it is not nt all
unusual to encounter an island miles
long iu the neighborhood of tbo ex
treme ico limit. For instance, tho
Coldinghamo in this region passed
about 500 bergs, one of which was ten
miles loug. The Cutty Sark, again,
iu latitudo 50 south, longitude 47 west,
is found by cross bearings and distuueo
run that tho cast side of ono berg
which she encountered was nineteen
miles long. At first tho masses are
straight, flat-topped and horizontally
stratified altogether unlike those
met with in tho north. Ry tho action
of tho waves they are cut at tho water's
edge into coves caverns of a heavenly
blue color. Then, as they collide or
get molted away at tho base by tho ac
tion of the water, tlioy turn over and
show to tho woudoriug mariner those
fuutrstio shupos which simply b?ggar
all description. Naturally, as thoy
travel further north, thoy bocoino
smaller and still more strangely
shaped and utitiiipitoly melt away.
European Libraries.
Austriu possesses more libraries and
books than any other country iu En
rope. It has 577 libraries and fi, 175,
718 books, bolides manuscripts. Next
comes France, with 5')) libraries, 4,
."i.'W.lOO books and 13",8)0 manu
scripts; Italy, with 105 libraries, 4,
3:iH,28l books and .'150,570 manu
scripts; Germany, with 308 libraries,
2,610,25'J books nnd 50,000 manu
scripts ; England, with 2)0 libraries,
2,871,101 books and 2il,0il0 manu
scripts; Kavariii, with I HI) libraries,
1,308,500 books and 23,000 muiiu
K.cripts; Russia, with 145 libraries,
052,000 books and 20,800 manuscripts.
Tho largest national library is iu
France. It bus 2.080,000 books. Tbo
British Museum has over 1,000,(100
books; Tho Munich Museum, 800,000
books; the Berlin Museum, 700,000
books; Dresden 5()i),t)IH) books;
Vienna, 420 00 ) book i. The Oxford
University has 300,00J books; tho
Heidelberg University, 300,000 books.
The Vatican library contains 30,000
books, aud ia tbo richest in maun,
scripts, rsacbiug 25,000 iu nuutbtr.
8 V ss-r-i'?X'.rtl
A MISTAKK.
Hold the littles dog to the eat :
"How Rlad J am to meet you!
I have lain mi hour on the hard door mat
And seen not so much as chicken r rat.
Till I ran down the steps to greet y(u.
''You arts glud to sue me. I know,
For your tail is so wildly waving,
Mine wags, too, w hen I'm pleased and glud
I tuck it down tiltt when I'm frightened or
sad.
I know ley the way your behoving,
'Dear eat, how pleased you are ;
Your tail ways faster and faster.
I will wng mine, too, and side by side,
We will trot to the spot where the I f hones
hide,
And" then eanie hii awful disinter,
For tho beautiful, loving oat,
While her tail was wildly waving,
Cuffed the little dog well with angry paws
Khe spit iu his face aud scratched with he
claws,
And seemed with fury raving.
'You cannot always tell,"
Mused the little dog. Hying fleetly.
'I won't trust their tails but I'll look ii
their eyes.
And then I'll be spared such another sur
prise,"
And his tail wns tucked down neatly.
- Mariana M. Tallrnnn
THE LITTLE HBOWN OWL.
Kept in captivity the owl used to
get out of sorts at times, just as little
children will ; but instead of givin
it jam wrapped around powder, its
owner sent it for a trip on tho water
to cure it. It was fastened to tho back
of a duck, which was then driven into
a horse pond. Tho owl was no sailor
and as often as it stuck its claws into
the duck, .as it frequently did in its
terror, the duck dived aud gave it a
good drenching. This made the owl
more alarmed than cver.and caused it
to dig its claws all tho lirmer iuto the
duck, and this, of course, only led to its
being ducked again nnd again. Every
time the owl came out of its bath it
expressed its surprise by loud bootings.
Then in caso of accident to ouo or
othor bird, or perhaps to both, the owl
was unbound. After sinking its feath
ers, as a dog shrikes its coat, it slowly
fell into its usual state of solemnity.
But it was always tho better for those
excursions on the pond. Little Folks.
MOTHF.HS OF OH EAT MEN.
The mother of Lord Cornwall's did
not at fust favor a military career for
her son.
Gibbon's mother was passionately
fond of rending, and encouraged her
sou to follow ber example,
Coleridge reverenced his mother.
Ho once said: "A mother is a mother
still, the holiest thing alive."
Beethoven's mother was a stout,
brisk, hardworking housewife, who
soemed to have not a thought above
ber daily duties.
Machiavelli's mother gavo him his
first lessons in deceit lessons that
afterward bore fruit in tho doctrines
taught in "The Prince."
Oliver Wendell Holmes was fond of
talking about his mother, and often
declared bow much bo owed to ber
care iu training.
Tho mother of Whitfield, tho great
pulpit orator, was a woman of high
character. He always bore tribute of
ber Chrihtiou virtues.
The mother of Miohaol Ange's was,
in ber way, as heroic a character ns
her son. Ho once said : "Whatever a
man is be generally owes it to bis
mother."
Bryoii's mother was an ill tempered,
passionate woman, very indiscreet in
ber language. Sho called him "a crip
pled brat." Her influence on biin
was as permanent as it was bad. St.
Louis (ilobe.I)emocrat.
A WHITE SQIMRREL.
I i J you ever see a white squirrel?
l not think many of you ever did,
for they are not very common.
When I was a little girl at home, we
had a pure white squirrel, with pink
oyes, for a pet ; we caught bun in a
tree in our front yard. Wo took him
iuto the house and made him a cage,
and then went to work to tamo bun ;
that did not tako long, however, and
then we bad, oh! such a preltv pet.
We bad an old-fashiouod clock with
a rtpiiiru top and u fancy front piece
projecting a few inches above, aud
back of that he bad his uest.
Tli ) cloc'i sot on oil) end of tbo mm
tel shelf, aud a larg looking glt on
tho ' ther.and bt foro this glass Master
Dick, for that was the squirrel's name,
would sit for au hour at a time and
look at bis likeness, turi'iug his head
lirst oue way aud then nuother, and
frisk bis lovely tail, which looked liko
a great white plume. Ho would sit
up on his haunches or walk back and
forth before tho glass, evidently wish'
ing to view himself iu every possible
attitude, aud always seeming to say,
"Look at me ; ain't I a haudsome fel
low?" Ho was very fond of bathing, and a
dish of water was placed on tho shelf
for him every day. Ho would wash
himself, and after wiping himself with
his tail, for bo always used it for a
towel, he would dry and smooth it
uictly, and then look iu tho glass to
see if it was well doue. If it did uot
suit him he would go through Hie
whole performance ogam until his
toilet was perfect, uud then he would
sit up and look around nt us all us if
to say, "How is that?"
1 think ho was very proud of his
good looks, don't you? Thut was not
nice, even iu a squirrel, but they do
uot know good from evil, and so wo
must not blame them. I know some
littlo boys nnd girls who ore very
much like little Dick, and that is very
wrong in children, for God has given
them power to know good from evil.
Dick grew very mischievous, too,
aud nlthoiigh we loved him very much,
decided to sell him, so ouo timy when
my father was in Milwaukee ho sold
him to a museum owner, and wo have
never beard from him siuce. Farm,
Field and Fireside.
MISS KITTY l'l'SSKY CAT.
Kitty Pussey is uone of your quiet,
sober or dignified cats very far from
it. A more gentle, cunning, and nt
the same time more lompiijg.uiischicv-
ous little animal does not aud never
did exist. Sho is a littlo beauty in
build und color ; a rich, glossy tor
toise shell striped coat of fur is hers.
Pretty binds, white and gray stripe
and circles mark her bodv, nnd each
little foot is capped with a wbito
stocking. Ilia' hea l is a picture
rich black and gray fur comes down
between her ears to a point near her
eyes, from which miik-wbito hair ex
tonds down to and around her pretty
mouth, making a graceful curtiiin-Iike
effect. Pussoy's eyes are large, lumi
nous and exquisitely expressive of
her every humor and mood. Looks
at oue at times with an expression of in
telligence so h ii man-like as to be almost
startliug. She is the proud pos essor
of a bed room to which she trots off
at night when the rest of the house
hold retire. It is a nice soft cushion
on top of a box in tho cellar, quite
neor the warm furnace. Her hour for
caving her bed in the morning is
when she hears cook entor the kitch-
Piua-y takes her position at tho
cellar door leading into tho kitchen,
anl will ci v out in unmistakable tones,
"Open the door and let mo iu!" She
keeps up the cilling until tho door is
opened, when sho bounds into tho
kitchen, staying only long enough to
saluto cook, then pusses on through
the house, until sho reaches tho door
of our I), d room, where hho sits ami
very lustily cries out "meow-ow-ow. "
which translated means, "Plciiso open
tho door, good mi .truss, and let mo in
to bid you and master gooil inormiig !"
When wo let her in bhe quickly jumps
on to tlio lien, alio, geniiy
purring, commences rubbing her cute
littlo nose into our faces, followed
many other little caressing
capers, to tell lis how very glad she is
to sec us, and that it ii time to get up
aud dress for breakfast. When we do
get up there is lots of fun for I'ussey.
She scaiiipel'saioiili l.c'ios ly watching
us, mi I when a naked 1 -rg or arm is ev
osedshe quickly springs at it, and has
a iii;;h tun,: tickling) She has a great
udliess for bare feet, and to pluy
with our toes is her delight. Mhi
Kitty Pussoy's originality in capers
and tricks is soni'thing marvelous.
To stand upright oil her feet, walk
backwards, jump over hold-out arms,
carry off and hide littlo articles, are
only a few of lo r abilities in that line.
u fact, her inteil gent versatility ap
pears to bo without limit, and she
laily devolopes new talents. Miss
Kitty Pilssey's sweet, charming mis
tress is quite sure there is not in the
wide world another such u pet kitty.
St. Louis Slur-Haying.
X Familiar Make l p.
Mrs. Dix I wonder what present
my husband will bring mo to-uight I
Mrs. Hicks What iu ikes you
expect one? Is it your birthday?
Mm. Dix No o; w quairtlfd this
ruorDlUC Xld-Bit.
SCIENTIFIC SCK.tl'S.
The new astrouoniieal observatory
at EJinbrugh, opened on April 'J, cost
180, 000.
A pound of feathers contains six-
teen ounces, or 7000 grains; a pound
of gold contains twelve ounces, or
57'J grains.
On some of the Prussian state rail
ways writing compartments have been
introduced hanging carriages for
which au extra charge is made.
Sir William Turner has compiled a
table which shows that a whale of
fifty tons weight exerts 115 horse
power iu swimming twelve miles an
hour.
Professor Roentgen says thut ho bns
watched the Ciiicugo experiments re
garding the germicidal power of tho
X ruye and thinks it probable that
the fuets are true.
The Scientific American states that
only oue person out of every Alteon
has eyes of equal strength ; also that
only one out of ten has the left cyo
strouger than the right.
At the industrial exposition at Zurich
there is on view an air-tester, consist
ing of a glass vessel filled with a red
fluid, which by its change of color
indicates: the degree iu which tho air
iu a workshop is contaminated.
The frog deposits its eggs in shallow
water, where the warmth of the sun
promotes speedy batching. The com
mon snake often selects a bed of de
composing vegetable matter. The
crocodile mi 1 the clumsy sea tortoise
go ashore to lay their eggs.
In the Japanese Imperial Budget,
for the cut rent year, tho sum of
82 1,1130 has been set aside for earth
quake investigation. This grant is over
and nbovo the usuul expoudituro of
the central observatory controlling
the seismic survey of the country.
Sawdust is turned into trausportablo
fuel iu Germany by a very simple
provss. It is heated under high
steam pressure until the resinous in
gredients become sticky, when it is
proved into bricks. Ono man
with n two-horse power machine cau
turn out nine thousand bricks a day.
lie Ciiiiglit the funny Man.
He was one of the "smart" kind.
Ho belonged to the class of fuuuy
men who do things in public pluccs
calculated to turn tho laugh on tho
other fellow. Ho was one of those
who tell tho barber to givo him chlo
roform ; w ho request tho waiter to
furnish nu ux with tho sirloin; who
inquire of the grocer if tho sand iu
the sugar is pure liko grit ; who say :
"Is it wiirin enough for you?" ami
who "suss back" at the telephone girl.
When tho eouductor held out his
baud for the street-car faro this fuuuy
man bestowed a general wiuk, nnd
paid, loud enough for every ouo in
the car to bear; "Can you chaugo a
glDO bili?"
"That depends on whether you
hive the bill," replied tho conductor,
promptly.
Then the funny man bugged him
self gleefully, drew a crisp "century"
loin his pocket nud gave it to the
nickel collector.
The conductor gravely examined
the bill, and folding it nicely, placed
it carefully iu his trip book. Un
buttoning his overcoat ho loosened
his coat, opened bis vest, and from
thu inside pocket drew forth a bulky
pocketbook. From it he took a roll
of bills.aud in matter of fact I-do-this-every-hour
way, counted out $'.)".
This he handed to thu funny man, aud
then he shoveled out $5 in dimes ami
nickels and poured them iuto the
I'll iwiy man's band. Next he rung up
the lure and said: "Transfers for
Fiillerton uveuue." And the funny
mini spent the rest of the time count
ing his ones and twos and lingering
his nickels and dunes.
"I've been laving for just such a
lamb for a month, "sitid the conductor
to the maiion the rear platform.
Chicago. Ilccord.
One on Maliaiiv.
The other day congressman Stone
ot Pctinsyhania, who is ono of tho
piaelieal jokers of the House, ap
proached Mr. Mahuuy of Now York,
who is an authority on Celtic orthog
raphy and orthoepy.
"M iliuny," said Stone, "how would
yon pronounce this word," and Lr
spelied it out very carefully "M-a-o-Il-i-ii-c-r-y?"
"That's easy," said Malum; "tha'
is the name of au old lilsh dock
Mai lliaerv.a little bit of Danish mixee
wiih Milesi in."
"You're lni-daken," said Stone,
"that's pure English machinery. "
Mahuuy collapsed. ' Don't tel
anybody," he implored, "If that go!
out among tho Irish of my district il
would ruin nc, ""Washington Fost,
Au Ended Song.
I sang of love to many a string.
With mauy a sweet conceit nnd rhyme.
And everywhere uud every time
VS love, and love, I could but sing,
I'ntil my own heart felt the spell.
Ah. then, how soon my lips were mut !
How silent lay my untouched lute,
(Since what Love was I knew -to well !
Mary Ainge De Vere in the Century.
IIIMOKOCS.
A wealth of imagination is not al
ways negotiable.
Ho If wo were not iu a canoe I
would kiss you. She Take mo
ashoro instantly, sir.
When a man really loves his neigh
bor as himself, it K"erally turus out
thnt the neighbor is a pretty girl.
She My heart is heavy, tonight.
He You might lry the cathodo rays
on it. They would inako it light.
Edith Were you very nervous
while he was proposing? Jessie Very.
I was afraid we would bo interrupted.
"Mamma, why do they call it the
weather bureau?" "Because the top
drawer is generally in such a frightful
mess, I suppose. "
JJrazzy Y'ou'll find, Miss Buzruz,
that most pcoplo nre either too smart
or not smurt enough. Miss Buzfiiz
Indeed; and which ure you, Mr.
Brazzy?
What are you crying for, child?"
"Lolo hurt me." "How, pray?" "I
was going to hit him with my fist,
when he ducked his head and my fist
hit the wall."
"Why did Mrs. Dash send for you?"
"Why, her careless servant mixed up
her reul cut-gluss with the tea-store
kind, and she wanted me to help her
separate them."
She bought a pretty pnrusol
Of an entrancing shade ;
lint dan-d not take it in the sun
For fear that it would fade.
Hoax I stood on one foot all tho
way home in a crowded car last night.
Jonx What was the matter with
your other foot? Hoax Another
man was staiiding on that.
"They look on me ns if I was nu
enemy of humanity, said tho cv-
oijo; "but how malignant would bo
their hatred if it should occur to them
lliat I suggested the big sleeve."
He I should hi:vebecn here earlier
but business is picking up a little, and
I was detained at the office. Sho
Oh ! I hope your business will con
tinue to improve, Mr. Mushmou.
'That," buid the crank, as the op
position fielder jumped apparently
about fifteen feet in tho air nud pulled
lown a home-run fly, "that is noth
ing short of a bigh-hunded outrage."
Ho (bitterly) So you thiuk my lifa
loesn't amount to much? His Fionceo
(sarcastically) Oh, no; I thiuk it
amounts to u great deal, now that I
know you have it insured for SV),-
000.
The Count I would do anythirg
my power to prove my love for
your daughter. Her father Would
you support her? Tho Count My
dear sir, I said 'anything iu my
power.'
Chinese Dislike of Ileincr Pictured.
In attempting to paint pictures of
Sou Francisco Chinatown, 1 found it
almost impossible to gain tho consent
of tho parents to have their children
pose us models for me. 1 triod in vain
for a loug time. Thev alwavs declared
that some ill luck would certainly
overtake their little ones if their
portraits were painted. So strong
is this dread thut a person coining
along tho street with a camera creates
a panic. Frightened mothers, rushing
about, soi.o their children and drag
them iudoors.oiit of harm's way.
'Fii ih dislike to being pictured is very
general, uud does not apply only to
children, as was impressed upon tne
on ono occasion when 1 saw oneof the
m st crowded streets iu Chinatown
suddenly cleared because of a photogra
pher who had placed his camera otouo
end of the street to tako n view. .This
fear of evil consequences I found to bo
strong, that even the poorest would
not be tempted by tho offer of monov.
Consequently I had about given up
when I fortunately found the ono ex
ception (in my experience) iu China
town. This wis a poor woman with
four little children nnd a sick hus
band to support. Sho was iu great
need, and my Chinese servaut,
after much difficulty, persuaded her
for a largo payment to let mo paint
her little girl named Ah Yuug. St.
Nicholas.
His eirr-f ailinc Test.
"Old chap, I've been duck shooting
don't you know."
"Duek bhootiug?" "Why, yon
don't know a tame duck from a wild
one,"
"Oh, yes, I do tba wild com got
way V Chisago Btsoid.
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