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PITTSIK)UO CHATHAM C., N. C, JULY 30, 1890.
racti will be maua.
"The Train Cannot Wait."
Slio in jn t 18, with guidon lniir nnd
grey eyis large grey eyes that lungh
jud as well usher red lips; her figure,
though a little frail, makes 0110 think
wliut a pretty woman olio will ho Boon.
Hi'i' hands mid ii nns uru those of n
child is sliu not still a child ? Chuii
left school lint a fortnight ago. 81m
is tho beloved und only hiiip:btor of n
ricli miller in tho neighborhood of
Nothing in inoro pootiesl than a mill
iu tho country. It does not disturb
the silence of tho ir with its monoto
nous tie-tnc; on the contrary itH noise,
strong nud regnlur, is like nu iiccom
paiiimctit to the iiiiiny other noises of
tho wind, nnd of th- trees, nnd of the
bird p. Cliirn was charmed with it nil.
During u few days ufter her iirrivnl
the whole homo was upset, m iking
ntul receiving calls, dmii'r parties,
dancing partic, lawn tennis:, the days
were not long enough to hold their
pleasures. Then all was quiet at th i
In the orchard, which wn-i large,
the walks were spread our with siiud,
nnd the trees, loaded with fruit, af
forded a b aiiliful Hlutdy grove. This
was Clara's favorite nook ; hero she
would go and rend poetry. She hud
been given the works of Limarliiic,
bountifully bound. Now, tjamiirtiue
is very tender pod, mid I'lnru wi n
btlll ill her teen", mid this wis siini
lner, and the fragiuuci of lh. Mowers
mid the mnrni'ir of Hi i bv-zinotol
on her young mind; nnd through thit
book rho would di e nil of things she
had neter dreamed of b-'foro.
Ouo day her mother asked her if
Bhe remembered her cousin Albert.
"Oh, yep, indeed," said she. This
answer cumo from her heart ; she
blushed mid from her neck to her
brow she felt that sort of electricity
that is produced by a little shuino mid
a great pleasure.
"Well," wild her mother, "'you will
Bee him very soon."
.Clara was about to say, "Oh, how
glad I am I" but she thought it more
proper to say nothing.
And why was she silent? I will tell
you. It was because she had rend
Lamartinc. Why ! does poetry make
one false? Well, I don't know, but
it speaks of love and what is love?
"Well," said Clura, "I have not
secu him for two years. I suppose he
is changed I"
"Not more than yon," said her
mother, casting a loving glance of
admiration to her daughter; "you
were a little girl when you went away
you lire a young lady now."
Clara ran on" to hur beloved grove
to hide the blushes on her cheeks nnd
the beatings of her heart. She sat
down, drew from her pocket her vol
ume of poetry, but lead not a line.
Albei t arrived n few days before he
was expected, but she was thinking of
hi in. Shu always had roses on her
cheeks, but these roses change 1 into
peonies when she saw him nnd her
hands trembled. He took hold of those
bunds nnd kissed her ou both cheeks.
Ho was a medical htmb-tit who had
not yet in hit brain the b ast thought
of anything serious; he had suddenly
discovered in himself a vocation for
tho beautiful science of 'Eictilupius,
that he might go to Paris, to spend a
low years of his life and watt? a few
thousand of his father's francs
'Ah! little cousin," said he, "you
are pretty uow. Why, I nui afraid 1
lliall fall in love with you."
She 1 mked ut him, nut knowing
ahut to say.
'Have you forgotten tho good
umos wo hid iu this garden, and over
there iu the wood.: "
"Oh, no," said she.
"A:id when we would go lowini
l.ld I would scire yon by swing u t.
d fro in the boot ! caps z i y. u?"
"C'l, no, 1 remember It all."
"Then why don't Mm nl your arms
ill nil I my luck mil siv picasaiil
till ;;p to me ii- .mil did then?"
'.' iou'l know." she tall' r. il.
Tfciui he nai I to 'nlu c!f: "i'his eon
I n mine uiie-l be a I'llli; aueplc-
"Well," snid ho aloud, "and what
is this book?"
"L imni tino. It is beautiful."
"1 d m't think hi i. I think it sltl
pi 1" then seeing that she was some
what abashed, ho added i "Why does
it displease you that I should not care
"Because I love his poems."
"Well, if I read poetry I want Alfred
do Mussel. I shall send you his works
v, hcu I get to Paris."
At this moment they heard a quick
and linn step ou the sandy walk, and
a young man came upon them.
"Excuse me, mademoiselle," snid
he, "1 have just learned that Albei t
is In re, and I have como to shake
hand . "
An old saying ciuiio 1 1 Clara's mind :
"Two i. company ; throe is a crowd."
Shu was too well behaved to say it, so
she left the two young m"n together.
When alone who reflected that Al
bert was a very nice cousin, and might
make a very good husband J us for his
friend well, he was a very good look
ing in in, and might bn a very nice
fellow but w hat a difference between
"Your c oi in is a ch inning girl,
"Oh yes, but bIio is only a school
"Well, what else can slio be? She
is just out of school mid not a woman
yet. bn ymi know what were my
thoughts us I looked at you both?"
'How can I know?"
"1 was thiukiu; that yiv.l wonl I
make 11 pretty couple."
"Now, Jack, what harm have I ever
done that yuii should want to chain inu
"Are you not 25?"
"Js that old age?"
"Wnii! I you giv.j nn old mail to
your cousin, who will bo only l'J ncxl
Vi lli ?"
"In two years she will bj 2 J Unit
w ill b better still. Then I w ill bo a
serious man and 1111 M. I. Clara is 11
good nialcli ; our fortunes are about
eijual. I think I might make a living
iu this country. Well, who knows
what may happen one day? I havu
plenty of time to think of it."
"I think your c 111-in deserves bet
ter t fi 11 11 that, and you ouy,ht to
be in love with her,"
"What! Love as first sight 1 I do
think Clara is pretty, but plenty of
time plenty of time!"
Everybody Rojinod happy at the
mill ; even Clara, who listened with
pleasure to the compliments of her
cousin whenever he chanced to be
with her, and she thought him so
witty that slio quite forgot to show
her own wit before him.
I n the meantime she was hoping that
ho would propose b -fore going to
Paris, but the last day dawned, nnd he
had not said the least word ub int.
marriage. She hoped till the last
hour; till the last minute.
Albert gave kisses all around nnd
said to her. "I will come back next
year. I will write to you and send
Mussct's works.as I promised. "
She plucko 1 up courage and said to
"Is that all you want to promise
He understood what she meant, but
would not prom's ) more and as his
eyes rested on the clock ho said:
"lioodby, cousin ; tho train is here
it cannot wait."
The life of a stu lent, especially that
of a student who iloe-t no', study, is
jint us tiiesome as any other.
There comes a tune when ho gets
tired of dissipation.
Albeit was in one of his dirk days;
since morning he had felt cross and
would not even sin ik ; his pipe lav
ou his table with a pile of books nnd
dusty papers. His tobacco pouch re
minded biiu of Clara alio had em
broidered it for him during tho week
lie had spout with her. Th :i he wa
also reminded that ho had promise I
to wi.tr and send Mulct's works; ho
felt badly at these thou lits, nnd re
morse made him go out to repair hia
forget fill nes.
There is a knock at tho door; the
servant brings up a letter to him; it
is from his mother.
His drowsine-s gives way as he
iv uds the lines ; he gets up iu a pas
sion, ii a -ttiug the table slid every
thing upon it.
Clara is to be mnriied, and iu a
Meek, too; nnil ha is expected to al
ien I ih.' wed ling.
"An I whom ib iM she many, I won
der'.'" evobunis he, ".mine cnnnio 11
country U I, 1 .iippogo. No, it can
not be I I inn-d go there 1 nd -dop it ;
she cannot bo sacrificed iu thia way 1"
Two hours later he started with a
valise in one hand nnd a bundle under
ouo arm. It was Musset's works.
Clara met him at the garden gntoj
she was looking ns fresh as tho flow
ers, and he, being conceited, thought
that the happiness on her fnco was duo
to his presence. Sho was Icsh timid
than lust year, and a little stoutcr.ono
could rend her heart through her grey
eyes ami her smiles.
"Is what I hear true, Clara?"
"Certainly, I wns about to write to
you. I want you hero for the wed
ding." "it is impossible 1"
'Quite possible and true."
"With Jack, of course."
"Ah, tho scoundrel ! Thero is noth
ing like a f 1 it'ti I lo betray one."
"Why, Albert, what a short mem
ory you have. Poor Jack would not
speak of love before he was quite sure
of your feelings toward mo. 1 am
very thankful that you set him at lib
el ty to speak. I am so proud and
happy at being loved by such a noble
Albeit threw his bundle on tho
"What is that?" asked Clara.
"Musset's works. Iliad promised
them to you."
"You me too late, coiisiu. Jack
gave them to mo long ago, ns I was
complaining of your forgetfuliiess. "
"Tell me.Clura this is all a dream
is it not? You are not going to
marry Jack? "
She laughed. "And why not? "she
"BiK-ansc I love you; liociusi if
you menu to marry Jack I start by the
first train, and you shall never s .0 me
She looked at the cloc'.t, as ho had
iloim tho veur before, and said arch
"Then hurry up, cousin, for the
train is here, and it cannot wait."
New Orleans Tini'S-Democrat.
I'p to the Sped Heat ions.
A lady, whoso organ of benevolence
was not properly developed, once sold
1 he following advi rtisement to a Lou
"A lady in deliu ito health, wi.sbu
to meet with a useful companion,
She must be domesticated, musical,
early riser, amiable, of good appear
ance mid have some experience of
nursing. Total abstainer perl'erred.
Ci in'ortable home. No salary."
A few days later the advertiser re
ceived a hamper labeled:
"This Side Up with Care Perish
able." Ou opening it she found a fmo tab
by cut, with a letter tied to her tail.
It ran thus.
"Madam: In answer to your adver
tisement, 1 nin happy to furnish you
with a verp useful companion, which
you will find exactly suited to your
nquireuii nts. Sho is domesticated, a
good vocalist, an early riser, posaessoH
1111 amiable disposition, and is consid
ered handsome. She has had great
experience us a nurse, having brought
up a large family. 1 ncod scarcely
add that the is a total abstainer. As
salary to her is 110 object, she will
solve you faithfully in return for a
It would be putting it very mildly
to say that this reply quite upset tho
Campuses His Own Fpilapli.
One of the most eccentric characters
of Indiana is Allison Dewilt of Buttlo
(irouud, an old bachelor who has lived
alone in a little cabin for nenrly half a
century, and is now nu octogenarian,
eut'ei'blid by diseaso and near death's
door. Over one year ago ho began
digging his own grave, which pro
gressed slowly btcmsa of lusfeeblo
iioss.aftcr reaching the required depth
tie spent several weeks in walliug it tip,
using brick and mortar. Then ho con
tracted with u Logansport firm for a
suitable monument, bearing his ow n
epitaph, and th's stone was placed in
position during the present week. Ho
prescribed what should be carved ou
1 he tombsti no, stipulating that 110
cipitul letter must be used save iu the
word (tod. A literal copy is as fol
lows: 11 tin"!i''lor lies beneath this savl
who itisolioyetl t" laws of (io.l
advi'M) to others lliuo I Kive:
tbui't live a batoli as hlM live regret.
A Water Bulwark.
The new ram Ivatahdin, of tho
United States navy, is so shaped that
her dock in front curves down to tho
water line, and as she rushes ahead
huge wave is raided over her luw. It
has been suggested that this wave
would be 11 means of prot' Ctiou to tho
ship fiom an enemy tiring at her as
she approached. Shu ilea very low
111 the vrater, 11 11 I with the liquid wall
at her bow is practically behind
kind of fortification.
Astonishing Military Organization
of African Apes.
The Simians Are Well Organized
for Plunder or Defence.
Evidonco of the astonishing sngncity
jtiy military organization of tho Afri
can baboons increases with tho re
!ent exploration of their favorite
jianntB, due to the troubles in Central
Africa nnd Abyssiuin, The English,
fterinin and Ito.liau traveler.! and
iiiiisaiirins who hav;j been employed
In various missions oil the fringes of
tho Abyssinian plateau have corro
borated many stories vhicli hive
hithei to beeu suspected to bo exag
gerations of fact. It now nppiars that
their method and discipline are far
in advance of thos'i oT any other ver
tebrate animals, mid not inferior to
those of some of the native tribes
The d.lVerent species of bnboons,
which are found commonly over the
whole Africau continent, are all by
nature dwellers in the open country.
They II ud their fool ou til) ground,
and, whether this be ins :ets or vege
tables, it is usually iu place which
all'jrd little shelter or protect 011.
Though strong uud well armed with
teeth, they are slow auiniils, with lit
tle of tho usual monkey agility when
on tho ground, nud not particularly
active even when climbing among
rocks. In the rocky "kopje" of the
South or tho cliffs and river sides of
Abyssiuin, mid the Nilo tributaries,
they ure safe enough. But they often
abandon thes'j to invade the low coun
try. Wheu ou expeditions of this
kind they often leave their stronghold
for days together, and the means of
joint defence from enemies in the open
country are then carefully organized.
Their natural enemies when thus ex
posed are the leopard, the. lion, mid,
iu South Africi, the dpi) wild dogs.
To the attack of the leopard they op
pose numbers mi I discipliu". No en
counter between the baboons aud wild
dogs Iiim b -imi witnessed aud described,
but their defensive operations against
domestic ited dogs were seen and re
corded by the (ieruiau naturalist,
Urehm. Tho following account ap
pears iu the translation of his travels
by Mrs. Thompson, just published:
Tho baboons were on il it ground,
crossing a valley, when the traveler's
dogs, Arab greyhound accustomed
to light suciessfully with hyenas nud
other beasts of prey, rushed toward
the baboons. Only the females took
to (light; tho males, ou tho coutrary,
turned to face the dogs 6r'jW',-','i ucut
tho ground with their bands, opened,
their mouths wide aud showed their
glittering teeth, and looked at their
adversaries so furiously aud malicious
ly that the hounds usually bold and
battle-hardened shrank back." By
the time the dogs wero encouraged
to renew tho attack, tho whole herd
had made their way, ovcrcd by tho
rearguard, to tho rocks, except a six
mouths old monkey, which was left
behind. The little moukoy sat on a
low rock, surrounded by the dogs, but
was rescued by an old baboon, who
stepped down from tho clilf near,
advanced toward t'10 dogs, kept
them iu check by gestures and
menacing sounds, picked up tho baby
monkey aftd carried it to tho clilf,
where the dense crowd of monkeys,
shouting their battle-cry, wero watch
ing his heroism. Tlio march of the
baboons is not a inero expedition of
the predatory members of the com
munity. The whole nation "trcck"
together, nnd inako war on tho culti
vated ground in common. Their com
munities are numerous enough to
reproduce in miniature tho move
ments of troops. Tim tribe often
numbers from 2oU to '100 individuals.
Of these the females ami young are
placed in tho centre when ou the
march, while tho old males march in
front and close the rear. Other males
scout upon tho flanks. It has been
noticed that thoso remain on guard,
and do not feed during tho whole time
that tho rest are gathering provender.
If disturbed by men, tho old mules
form n rear guard aud retire without
any haste, allowing tho females aud
young to go on ahead carrying the
plunder. Their retreat is, us a rule,
deliberate and orderly, tho baboons
being quito ready to do battle with
any annual except man 011 tho plain--,
and instantly becoming tho assailant
of man himself when they got the ad
vantage of position. Brehni was
(toned out of u pass iu a few minutes
by the dog-faced b.iboous. "These
M'lf-reliant animals," he writes, "ure
a match even for men. While the
sereaniiiig females with young ones
tied with all haste over the crest of the
rock beyond the raugo of our guns,
tho adult male, casting furious glances
beating tho ground with their hands,
sprang upon stoues and ledges.lookmi
down ou tlio valley for a few mo
moots, continually growling, stini'luif
nnd screaming, and then b'gan to ro'.i
down atones 011 its with so much vigcr
nnd adroitness, that wo immediately
saw that our livoi were in danger nnt
took to flight. Tho clever nuiinih
not only condtuitcd their defense 011 11
definite plan, but they ac;ed iu Co
operation, striving for a common end,
nud exerting all their united strength
to obluin it. Ouu of our niilnbjr tuw
obo monkey drug his stone tip a tree,
that ho might hurl it down with more
(.fleet 1 I myself saw two combining to
set a heavy stono robing.'1
Adjusting the siddiu properly has
much to do with safo and is mifortublo
riding. Tho rule should bo to keep tho
sad lie as near para 1 I to the bar as
possible. Avoid tilting, especially
backward. Breathe through the nose;
if forced to breathe through the
mouth, keep the tongue well pressed
against the, upper front teeth to
avoid inhalation of cold air, tho force
of wliic.'i should be broken by p issing
through the nose and wanned for in
spiration, A sponge bath with tipid water and
friction is b ii 'lio al imuie liatcly
alter 11 ride iu th 1 upon air. Spong
ing with diluted ule.ihol relievos the
niusc ihir somes and still'iiess.
lei cold di iu'n, pistry and sweets
ure uot Conducive lo health at any
time. A cyclist, after a long spin,
needs foo l to supply tho tis siij waste.
The hunger which a ride iu the park
provokes is such that ouo can mid
should eat - only health producing
food. "Hungry enough to cat any
thing!" That anything should bo
fruit, sandwiches and milk. Tea made
from be if extract is btimtilntiug uud
Violent riding will pro luce heart
disease. Wom.'ii suil'.r uj from
shortness of breath will liud the ex
Only 11 sponge and friction bath
should bo taken immediately utter
riding. The bo ly is too fatigued ; a
lull plunge is then too 1 xlui'isiiug.
With proper adjustment of the
saddle nnd attention to dress at sea
sonable times moderate cycling will
result in ln uetit to the imjority of
women. Philadelphia Tunes.
In tho Tyrol the girls who are fond
of cuts 111 irry early.
If it rains 011 a Dutch girl's wed
ding day it is because the bride has
forgotten lo fed her c it.
If it rains when t'jeio is a large
washing on tho line in Germany, it is
a sure sign that the home mother has
ill-treuted the cat-
Throwing a cat overboard from
a ship wid came a cyc'.oii".
A person who despises cits will be
curried to his grave iu a howling
If the family cat lies with its back
to the tiro there will be a squall.
If a eit licks itself against tho
grain take your mackintosh with you.
If a cat washes herself calmly and
smoothly the weatlsrr will bo fair.
Bad luck will follow if a black cat
crosses your path, for tho devil prowls
about especially at night, iu the guise
of a black cat.
To dream of a binds cat at Christ
mus time iu Germany is a omen of
The Pennsylvania Dutch believo
black cats cure cpilop-y.
Three drops of a black cit's blood
is said to boa cure for croup. St,
A Twe-licatled Tin tie.
L. E Uu lsoii tells Gamelaud about
a freak turtle ho found on the shores
of Lake Outurio among a lot of newly
This turtle was just emerging from
its shell. Thero Here two heads ami
two necks to it, and each head wus ap
parently independent of the other,
und ouch seemed to have contrary
ideas as to the proper way to go. Both
heads would be asleep when one would
wake up and start the body oil" accord
ing to its own ideas. That would
rouse the other head and then thero
would be a mix-up of motions. It
died after u while. -v
New Moopiug Car.
A new pattern of a sleepii.r; conch
has been brought out in Eugland that
is siiposed to meet some peculiarly
Euglish waiita. The car is fifty-two
feet long an I lliuo feet wide, with
single-berthed and double-berthed
compartments alternating, a corridor
running tho full length. Each pus-i-euger
has room to undress comfort
ably mid finds hooks in abundance
upon which to hang his clothes, and
by bolting his door can be assured
10R Til R HOl'SKWin't
THE CLOliriED BISK.
For tho greasy sink try washing
soda, says tho Homo Queen. Phico a
lump of the soda about ns largo ns a
hen's egg over the sink hole nud pour
a ketllo of boiling water over evi ry
part of it, using your sink brush to
send it in ull thegrta-y parts. If yon
put iu the sink, every day or two, a
lump of soda Weighing half a pound
or mole, you will have no trouble with
tho drainpipe becoming flogged with
grease. So large a piece will dissolve
Toty slowly, but all tho witter that
goes down will help to cleanse insb a I
of clog tho pipe. Whenever yotl have
H kettle of boiling water that you do
not nee 1 at once, pour into tho sink,
nnd with this systematic cure there
need bo no auxiely concerning impure
guses from clogged kitchen drainage
during these trying slimmer days.
TO COLON FOOD.
How to color things without poison
ing the guests is something of a puz
zle to the ambitious housewife who
wiiuts to raiso her feint ubivo tho
common-place. The cleverest hostess
is the one who gives 11 ".shaded" diu
northo menu and decorations
shaded, say from pal s pink to dark
red. Commence with a pink soup
und finish with a rod dessert, deeply,
beautifully red. The lloweis deepen
ing from tho loveliest of blush roses
to tho deep crimson of the j icquemi
iiot. Carmine or cherry red or cochi
neal tincture, or the former with a
judicious blending of apricot col
oring, will produce any and every
jhado of red or piuk desired,
ami ns both are harmless and taste
less can bo used without any four.
Aspic jolly is tho most accomiuo bit
ing bit of edible, for it easily takes
ou every color of the rainbow if
properly treated aud may appear
several times in the course of the meal
without exciting either surprise or
remark; mil tir-d p;uk to garnish
pink dish, later red to decorate a red
dish. For the red diuut-r the mayon
naise is colored with a tablespoon! ul
or two of currant jelly or a little carmine-
Tho sweetbread may bo
smothered iu a pureo of red haricots.
Beets, cut iu small die ', may bo used
to garnish another dish. Cherry
sauce is suitable for the lamb. Straw
berry jam lends a willing hand iu the
color scheme, aud aspic jelly, ns be
fore mentioned, colored cither red
or pink, serves many a purpose.
Cream for tho meringues must bo
colored red with the carmine, nud tho
cases for the ices must bo red red
crepe paper, perhaps shaped like a
rose. Apricot coloring und saffron
will tint anything yellow, and damson
biue which can bo bought at tho shop
with a little carmine, will make
mauve. Lemon jelly and ice cream
ire easily tinted mauve or yellow.
Chopped green aspic is the very back
bone of a green dinner. Color tho
aqiic with a few drops of spinach juice
or apple green. Chopped parsley is
ulso au invaluable aid, aud green pop
per cases and the handles of dishes
tied with grceu ribbons do the rest.
The sauces, meringues or iocs are col
ored with tho spin ich juice, and some
of tho entrees may repose upon spin
ach. San I'laucisco Chronicle.
Ham Tonst Mix n teneupful of
finely chopped boiled ham with two
well-benten eggs, n tublospooiiful of
cream and a d ish of popper. Heat
over the tiro and then spread the mix
ture on buttered toast or slices of
bread fried quito crisp in butter.
Stvo very hot.
Cold Slaw Tako a small callings,
about two pounds, nn I five or six
stulks of celery (tho largo, outside
stalks will dol ; chop both fine ami
mix together. Sens hi w ith one tea
spoonful salt, a few dadies of popper
and half a pint of good vinegar poured
over tho whole.
Cherry Nectar Take two boxes of
sour cherries, stone them and boil for
half an hour in a quart of water.
Strain them out and boil tlio juice
with one pound of sugar to ouch pint
of juice for fifteen minutes; then put
in the cherries and boil for fifteen
minutes more. Serve cold.
Cauliflower Salad Boil ono large
cauliflower with two quarts of wuter
nnd oue teaspoonful of Milt for half an
hour or longer. Take up nud strain.
Wheu cold divide into small tufts, ar
range in centre of n dish ; pour over it
n salad dressing or a cupful of mayon
naise dressing. Servo immediately.
For the salad dressing put into the
bottom of a pint bowl the yolk of a
raw egg aud a quarter of a saltspoou
of salt ; stir in d.op by drop three
tablespooufuls of olive oil, oue if
vinegar or lemon juice and a, q iarter
siil'.spoon of dry mustard, stirring un
Tim City Boj .
O.id help the boy who never sees
Tho laltl-erlHes, the birds, the bees,
N'nr lii-ill (lie mimie of the bree.o
When r.ephyrs soft are blowing;
Who cannot in sweet comfort Ii"
Wrier" clover- biennis are tdl- l; im-l high,
Au'l hear the gentle murmur tl'jlt
Of l.rnokletPfMtly dowi-ie;.
Ood help the b'v who di not know
Where all the woodland bottles grow.
Who never sees the f.ire.a glow.
When leaves lire red and yellow : -Whose
ohildi.-di t 'et can m-vr sir iy
Where Nature d ith her eh.irnia displ ly
'or sueh a hapless boy I say
Uod heli, Hie little f-U -w.
- Clii '.lg i Journal.
"Biiuimer never goes away for a
rest in tho warm weather." "No; but
lie always sends his family."
"Is Mirgaret fond r music?"
"Yes; cho thinks so much of it that
she has never learned to play or sing.
"What shall I do with these vegeta
bles lef I over I rum yesterday's malliet
ing ?" "i n tiieiii 011 your summer
"Did he look like it bicyclist ?
"Oil, d. -iiv, no ; not in the leant. Why,
he could staii I up straight with no
"D.ek, how do you think you will
like the horseless carriage ?" "Jt
won't do at all ; the tin's will all worry
the people' who ride."
"What in mIi' that man so nngry
when tl e horseless carriage upset ? "
"He is a leather dealer mi l there
wasn't iiny harness to cut."
"I wonder," said the Albino pet
tishly, "why the fat woman and her
hllsbaii 1 always quarrel so ? " "Oil,
we!'," Mild the bearded lady, "ho has
11 grout deal to cuiituid with."
Sim Oh, d 1 look nt Mr. Wright,
the poet! What a rapt expression he
has! Hu must be thiuking of some
Biiblim ; stauz 1 or sonnet. He (an
other pool) Thinking of himself, I
"What do , you think of the bicycle
ense?" "i'r: eal tiling ! I never took
so much good ex'-rcise before iu all
my life." "Why, 1 didn't know that
you wore ruling." "1 am not, but
1 have to Cio.-s the street 01100 iu a
w hilo. "
Yeast Did you over notice how
busy the boos are uud how indolent
the wasps appear to bo? Criuisou
beak Well, 1 can't say that 1 ever
noticed it, but I have often heard of
tho "bu-y beu" und of the "wusp
like waste. "
"Willie, didn't I ask you to mako
less noise? " said Mrs. Still, at the
dinner table. "Yes, you did,
mamma." "Well, I will have to usk
j on again." "K -member, iiiani'.iia, you
told me it was impolite to ask tor any
thing twice at the table."
Anna Don't prosecute li 1 in, papa.
Let him go, aud cover the matter up.
Papa I! it, Anna, he has embezzled
two thousand dollars, nud I trusted
him so! Anna Yen, think of it
niily two thousand dollars! Why,
people will lo ver believe we have
money it it is known that a man in
his poi.itiou took so little.
A litile fellow who lives near us
w-nt into a shop some weeks ago to
buy 11 pair of gloves. Tim shopman
i t ired at his juvenile customer, au I
asked In tn what si.ee he took. Tho
youuestoi promptly informed him. "D
you want kid gloves, my boy?" asked
the shopman. "K'.d gloves," ejacu
lated his en.-doiucr. . "I'm not a
kid now.. I want V 1 own-11 p' ones!"
i indicated the I aw.
A f.ieii I of B preseiitative Culber
son of Ti xas related the following in
cident: "When Mr. Culberson was
prosi outing attorney," he sanl "then
was a criminal statule iin.voMially dis
reg tided. The indiet uieiit of u well
known man for violation of this law
was secure 1 through the 1 IV-.its of Mr.
Culberson, who presented the case
w.th more vigor than ninio.it any ho
had eior conducted, securing a con
viction mid sentence to the peiiiten
tiarv. Then he b ft t'-tm und no one
know where he had gone until he and
tho priMitii r, who had been taken to
the peii teiitiary, returned together.
Mr. dnbi-ison had g ne to tho Gov
eiiini, obtained a pardon ami mot tho
c tiiviet at the pt-iiiteiil iary w ith it.
'i ll bw hint been vindicated, nud
there w re 110 more violations of that
-lat'ito 111 JotVei son." Washington
The I, -iti' Shah's Jewels.
The diamonds in one symbol of tho
lute Pcisiau Shah's rank 1110 said to
weigh nearly twenty pounds. There
is also 11 j v I' d s iller, valued at $1,
0 1(1,1 IM. And In I tiling that the Shah
pr . d was h silvt r vase 01 nun nted
with 100 emeralds, whose equal, is suid,
is uui tube fouud iu the world,.