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VOL. XXVII, PlTTSBORQ. CttATHAM COUNTY. N. C THURS13AY. JANUARY 19, 1905. NO. 23.
Ctenvricht 189S. hv KB
CHAPTER XXXT.
Continued.
"So I thought," said uude Sam;
imt" breaking off suddenly aad pur
suing another line of thought "mar
riage is the most discussed yet least
understood of human institutions,
l'bougb women so greatly outnumber
laen, good wives are as scarce as good
fcusbnnds. Of course nothing can coun
terbalance the want "of good personal
qualities ia cither husband or wife, but
there can be no matrimonial paragon
who is unfurnished with dollars. I re
laeusber in my salad days, soon after
I settled in this country, Van Rensse
laer and I once amused ourselves by
making some investigations as to the
condition of the marriage market.".
"What do you mean, Sam?" asked
Eimt Gertrude, looking up from her
AVCl'k.
"About twenty years ago," continued
my uncle, "there lived in Rivington
street, New York, a matrimonial agent
who used to advertise in the daily
papers that ho was prepared to supply
wives of every desirable quality to
-ectleinen of unblemished honor and
respectable mean?, while of course
Li": usefulness to ladies weary of sin
gle blesseuusss was equally great To
this nrofessor s OiUce van Rensselaer i
and I cue day betook ourselves, and
wicii planked down a fee of o, which
the agent, with a grateful smile,. made
l;y?i9 to. appropriate."
-What iuduced you to be so foolish?"
.sisked my aunt. -
"Sport, my dear Gertie, sport; noth
ing more, I assure yen," said uncle
Sam.
"Well, what, sport could you find
in giving your money to a. cheat?"
"Very much: my $5 were .well in
vested. Admission to the agent's ofiice
r.loae was worth the fe?. Hal ha! I
.'member, the place to this day," and
Utelc 8am reclined his head on the
hid, oii his chair and chuckled.
' tVLnt was the place like?"'. I- in
quired. "It was a fairly1 wcll-furnishcd
office," said uncle Sam. "The avails
were covered with shelves, on which
stood letter cases and japanned tin
bo:;e Iu a corner of the ofiice, on an
elcvR:ed platform, , a bald-headed old
fraud of about sixty, the proprietor
of the place, sat at a desk plentifully
spread with ledgers. Packets of letter;-,
hald together by rubber bands,
i?l lilies of photographs, lay about in
confusion, while close to the door stood
a large table strewn with writing ma
terials and printed forms whereon cli
ents might conciseiy state their quali
'icatiens and requirements."
'Did the agent show you any of the
photographs ?" asked Constance.
' Dozens of thein. One lady iu par
lioular I remember he recommended
s.s a very suitable wife for me, his rec
ommendation being based chiefly on.
the fact that she was an English
woioau, who. having passed the first
Hush of her youth (a statement which
nobody who glanced at her photograph
would for a moment question), was
free of the frivolities which usually
accompany girlhood, and having. been
or some years a member of the Lon
don music-hail profession, she was an
H'-'coiaplishcd vocalist, who could di
vert ray leisure with charming songs
nn amusing character, many of them
unknown to the best musicians. These
qualities, the agent argued, more than
tompansated for the lady's lack of
property."
''Was that all the old man told you
about her?" I inquired.
"I think it was," replied uncle Sam.
''But I wrote to her the nest-day un
der the assumed name of Holdenhurst,
and a day or so afterwards received
her reply, dated from the Bowery,
couched in orthography which I had
not previously met with. One of her
statements that her dear pa had been
killed some years before by a fall from
a scaffold in the Old Bailey impressed
&ia as" a very pleasant way of describ
es an unpleasant fact."
At this point I interrupted uncle Sam
ith my immoderate laughter, much
to the surprise of aunt Gertrude and
Constance, who, being imperfectly ac
quainted with London, perceived noth
ing to laugh at.
"How about Mr. Van Rensselaer?"
asked Constance, when my paroxysm
f laughter had subsided sufficiently
for ber voice to be beard. "Did the
ufct:t recommend any of bis clients as
a suitable wife for that ugly old Dutch
man;" "Gently, Connie, please. Martin Van
Kensselaer was a capital fellow, as
sQd a judge of a railroad as was the
Great Commodore himself; and his ad
ykv was always sound in matters
where he was noj. personally inter
ested. Poor old farfin is now hftvond
Hie
vt'il against which I have been
Winding beating"
os, I know," persisted Constance
but you have not answered my ques
tion. Did the agent recommend a wife
''w your frioud as he did for you? If
so; .1 would like to hear about her,"
"t li afraid I can't oblige you lu
'hat. Con; hut of course the agent made
a rfeonnatndatioij. It was his business
do so to everybody who consulted
"Mr. Var. Rensselaer didn't win his
gr Novel.
WALTER BL'OOMFIELD.
BESS. fidsSStS-'iSoHS.
wire by any such means as that, I am
sure," said aunt Gertrude.
"So am I," added uncle Sam.
"Do you think, Sam any marriage
was ever brought about by such horrid
methods?" my aunt inquired.
"Without doubt, abundance of theih,"
replied uncle Sam, unhesitatingly.
"Nothing that was ever said is more
true than that humankind are mostly
fools. And it 58 well that such is the
case. Were it otherwise, then prob
ably, though no one woull starve, no
body would be able to live well. It is
in the follies of his fellow-creatures
that a-sharp man finds his chances of
aggrandizement. The matrimonial
agent of Rivington street transgressed
no law that I know of, or that I would
nact were I invested with the attri
butes of Solon. He merely preyed upon
ools a perfectly legitimate process,
sanctioned by the doctrine of the sur
vival of the fittest. Pass me the cigar
case, Gertie, dear."
"Were you and your friends fools
when you visited that office in Riv
iugton street?' inquired Connie, with
a mischievous smile.
"Unquestionably we were," admitted
Uncle Sam, with charming frankness,
"and on many other occasions besides."
"Nothing can ever induce ine to be
lieve that it is right to use superior
natural gifts or knowledge to entrap
the inexperienced and unwary," said
my aunt.
"Power is its own justification. That
Which a man can do he may do."
'That is not right," asserted aunt
S Gertrude boldly i
"Nothing is right, nor likely to be,"
agreed uncle Sam. . .,
CHAPTER XXXII. - j
EUBEKA. !
What is time? The past has gone
and cannot ue recalled; the present is
here, but imperfectly under cur con
trol; the future no man knows. Is
there another subject which mankind
regards in ways so numerous and di
verse as time, the most generic and
indefinite of terms? Only for the mis
erable wretch condemned to die on an
appointed day do the fleeting hours ex
pire with maddening rapidity; to the
sufferer from any other form of torture
they" drag their course with most ex
asperating slowness. It is the privilege
of tho perfectly happy (if indeed there
be any such) and the perfectly foolish
(of whom everyone must surely know
abundant examples) to disregard time.
The week which elapsed between our
return to New York and my marriage
to Constance seemed to me of super
ualurally long duration. Love i3 im
patient, and dressmakers and milliners
monopolizing. Though living in the
tame house as my affianced wife, I
now saw very little of her; she was
nearly always engaged ia being meas
ured, of fitted, or experimented upon in
t ome way by a contingent of French
modistes, who came every day to the
house and disorganized all its cus
tomary arrangements. Of the numer
ous dresses being prepared for my wife,
though I had heard a good deal about
them, I.-was not for the present per
mitted to see one; but I would have
endured that privation without mur
muring if the companionship of my
dear Constance had been spared to me.
However, all things come to those
who wait unless death comes first and
captures the waiters, in which case the
latter escape from their wants. Man's
comfort is not more dependent upon
events than upon their convenient se
quence, a course often difficult to se
cure. At last the wedding morning came
and Iv was almost happy. Ah, that
word almost! Has the man yet lived
of whom it can -be trutbf ully said that
ho was quite happy? Long and varied
experience makes me doubt it. With
health, youth and strength; $100,000 to
my credit at Drexel's; and a beautiful
girl, magnificently dowered, for my
wife; for what more could I wish, you
ask. Why, for my father's presence
this day, and his approval of the life
long contract I was about to make.
SomehoiV ; I could not keep from think
ing of my father on this my wedding
morning; and as I waited with uncle
Sam and a small party of his friends
in the Presbyterian Church on Fiffh
avenue, vrhere the ceremony was to
take placed the old church at Holden
hurst, its urjlikeaess to the- sacred
building wherein I was, my father's
lonely life now that I had left him,
:md the probable effect of the recent
tragedy upon him and my grandfather
Wolsey, largely engaged my mind,
despite all efforts I could make to
disregard thfem; until the organ, peal
ing forth . the. soul-stirring strains of
Mendelssohn's .Wedding March, an
nounced the arrival of the bridal party,
and my dear Constance, almost com
pletely hidden ia white gossamcr-like
habiliments and attended by six maids,
passed slowly tip the church.
Of ths events between that moment
and the conclusion of the ceremony,
when we all left the church, ! for a
long time retained only a confused
and general recollection; but finally
;-he particulars of the ceremony took
criov i in iiiv mind, and now I can
Nearly recall the talL commanding
fra'andW clear, impressive voles
ef the grand Old Ulsterman, the officiat
ing minister of the church; ami juy un
easy glances at uncle Sam (whom I
had never seen in such a place before),
and my fear lest he should create a
diversion by some eccentric conducts
Not until after the wedding party
was assembled at breakfast did, uncle
Sam give rein to his usual pleasantry
and then to no very great extent. I
remember he inquired, across tli6 table,
what my wife and I thought of the
reverend gentleman's boots.
."Think of the reverend gentleman's
boots!" I echoed in surprise. "Really
I didn't observe them. Did you, Con
nie, dear?"
"Not very particularly , stammered
my wife, ineffectually endeavoring to
suppress a laugh.
. "Why, how can you say that?" asked
uncle" Sam. "The reverend doctoi
wears the largest boots in New York,
as many rash wagerers know to their
cost; and I observed you both intently
contemplating their dimensions wh'Le
he was exhorting you to be mindful
of your . new duties. I assure you I
am very, giad if I am mistaken, for
there could be no better proof of your
attention to his precepts."
There was a suppressed titter at thTs:
out aunt" Gertrude came to tEe rescue
and protested against remarks of a
personal nature generally, and particu
larly in the case of a gentleman highly
esteemed by all who had the privilege
9f his acquaintance. Uncle Sam agreed,
and declared that he had not only com
plimented the minister by asserting,
in other words, that he had a larger
understanding than any other man in
.ew York.
Several of my uncle's friends ten
lered their congratulations in the time
honored platitudes which have served
n innumerable similar occasions, after
.vhich uncle Sam rose, and glass in
hand, invited all present to drink to the
health, prosperity and lorg life of the
bride and bridegroom. "For the happy
pair opposite, who with all the courage
)f inexperience and ill defiance of sages
md satirists have given those hostages
'.o Fortune which so 'many of us would
ike to redeem, I entertain a very spe
cial and real affection," said uncle
jam. "The bride is the only sister of
my dear wife, and a daughter of my
Iriend and benefactor. I have known
her all her life, and I say of her, that
ao truer or more amiable lady can be
'.cuud between Maine and California.
She was my ward; and tay duty to her
lias also been my pleasure from the
lay I became her guardian until you
iaw me surrender her to her husband
and with her all that I held in trust
Tor her, with something over and
lbove. The bridegroom is the only son
f one, Who, in my youthful days in
England before I entertained a thought
jf setting foot oa thi3 continent, had
promised to become my wife a prom
tee she was forced to break and of my
raly brother, whom I do not expect to
tee again. It Is for these reasons
;hieHy that I am prejudiced in favor of
(he bridegroom for he is no genius,
tnd I don't suppose his unaided efforts
would ever have burdened, him With
much property; he- Is a trifle senti
taental, and lacks resolution and fixity
f purpose. Nevertheless he has proved
himself a faithful friend and a pupil of
it least average aptitude. It is with
much pleasure and confidence that I
ask you to join me in wishing health,
.wosperity and long life to Mr. and Mrs.
Ernest Tinman."
The toast was drunk with enthus
iasm, everybody standing. In my
brief reply I uureservedly admitted
the accuracy of my uncle's estimate
of my powers, and congratulated "my
self on having woa not only his good
will but a wife the equal of his own
hi fortune and every personal grace,
notwithstanding the natural defects
to which he had called attention; a
retort which, obvious as it was,
seemed to put the company into great
good humor. v
' By this the hour was reached when
it was necessary that my wife should
prepare for our departure to Saratoga,
r.nd the party left the tables to inspect
'the wedding gifts, which were exhib
ited in a large room devoted exclu
sively to that purpose a valuable col
lection; of jewels and fancy .articles,
at which I could not look without the
painful thought that nothing from
Holdenhurst was among them. .
It wanted hot more than half an
hour of the time fixed for our depart
ure when uncle Sam, with an air of
mystery, beckoned me to follow him.
I did so, wondering what his' purpose
could be. He led the way to his study,
where aunt Gertrude and my wife
awaited us, the latter now in a plain,
tightly-fitting traveling dress, ready to
depart. ; My uncle closed the door in
a cautious way as soon as we had en
tered the room, which circumstance.
as' well as the seriou? looks of aunt
Gertrude and my wife, Ailed me with
alarm. V
I was' about to inquire the meaning
of all this when uncle Sam spoke, my
wife meanwhile observing me closely
to note the effect of his words upon
jne. "A letter from England arrived
for you this morning," he said, "and
by'gocd fortune it fell into my hands.
I have kept it from you until now, for
your benefit; for you would not have
liked your marriage to have been
again postponed. I don't know how it
may prove, but I greatly fear, that it
contains bad news. However that
may be, take courage for your wife's
sake as well as your own. Remember
my recent experience, and never let
it be said that the old man was braver
than the . young one." And having
spoken thus my uncle handed me a
black-bordered letter bearing an Eng
lish stamp and the postmark of Bury
St. Edmuud's.
Tu. be continued.
- When holiness is all nonsense to b
1 mi? mm ilP!.J5?wJ
increasing; Interest;
MiOH T no period in. the history
O O question of road improve
X ment been so widely and
enthusiastically discussed
as at the "present time. In the crystal-,
ization of public sentiment for the bet
terment of our highways, the office of
Public Road Inquiries,- at Washingtony
has ptoveu a most jmportant factor.
This work is beihgaccompiished by
collating aiid disseminating informa
tion, publishing and distributing lit
erature on the subject, testing road
building materials,. and in co-operating
with other allied forces of construc
tion of object lesson roads in various
sections of the country. The interest
manifested in this question is by no
means confined to those withlu the
rural .districts,- who are supposed to be
the greater beneficiaries, but all classes
of our citizens are directly or indirect
ly interested in this great movement,
and therefore should be free to ex
press their opinions and lend their as
sistance wherever opportunities pre
sent themselves.
In this ago of enlightenment and
progress all agree that it is necessary
to adopt other and move modern meth
ods of improving our highways than
the primitive method Of "warning out
the hands" male citizens between the
ages of eighteen and forty-five years
in proximity to the road to be im
provedr This has proven entirely too
effective, especially with the rapidly
increasing population of the country
and the constantly increasing volume
of traffic on the road. Were every per
son liable to duty to work with pick
and shovel a few days annually, as re
quired by law; but little more could
be accomplished than to fill the worst
chuck holes, and by so doing ease their
conscience and relieve the overseers
of the embarrassment f being in
dicted in the county court: No system
of working roads is a just one if la
bor is compelled to bear the entire
burden of the cost and at the same
time property enjoy equal benefits by
its enhancement in value
As previously stated, money it the
necessary requisite for the improve
ment of our common highways, but the
perplexing problem -with our people
is "how to get it." Day by day 'the
public is becoming more enthusiastic
upon the question a they study it in
its various phases, and are of the opiu
ion that, as the roads are a benefit to
all, the burden of cost of their con
struction and maintenance should be
born by all. There are various ways
by which this may be done, but like
the accomplishment of all great move
ments, the co-operation of all allied
forces is essential. Within the past
few years rnaaiy States have enacted
laws and appropriated money for the
improvement of the common roads of
the country, and many counties have
issued bonds for the same purpose,
with equally good results. Funds for
this purpose have also been raised by
direct taxation and by individual sub
scription, but the limited amount col
lected is generally too small to scarce
ly make a beginning on the great nun?
ber of roads to be improved.
Maculum Koadt,
In the construction of a road in any
kind of soil it is essential to properly
locate, grade and drain before surfac
ing and, filing, if the best results are
to be obtained. Good materials are
equally essential, but often, however,
it pays better to use an inferior mate
rial found in tha locality, if a more
desirable quality cannot be secured
from a distance The system of con
structing macadam roads upon mod
ern and scientific principles is consul
ered superior to others, although more
expensive. The macadam road built
of crushed chert, trap rock or good
limestone, will endure the ordinary
volume' of traffic almost an indefinite
period of time with but little additional
cost rf repairs, especially if only wide
tires are used, as. wide tires are road
makers and narrow tires are road
breakers. Any material that will re
sist wear, and has sufficient cement
ing qualities to render the roadbed
impervious to . water, is desirable.
Either gravel, mixture of clay and
sand, or mineral oil, when properly ap
plied, make a less expensive and at
the same time a most excellent road,
when local conditions are favorable.
The use of first-class machinery is also
indispensable to successful road build
ing. The county authorities could
make no better investment than to pur
chase a complete plant of the very best
road building machinery.
Popularity of National Aid.
No internal improvements would
more materially.TDenefit the country at
large than good roads. . No section of
the country is more enthusiastic for
good roads than the South, and as her
people seldom receive assistance iu any
way from the National Treasury that
method that might be adopted for gen
eral internal improvements. ,lt is grat
ifying to knowvthat this cause meets
the approval of the Southern delega
tions in Congress, particularly the en
tiro delegation from North Carolina.
One of the best speeches made on the
good roads question during the last
session of Congress was by Represen
tative Gudger, of the Tenth (or moun-
i-tain) District of the Old North State.
It is becoming quite evident to the
niinds of our solons that in order to
secure re-election it behooves them to
get in line for better roads. This gi
gantic movement for better roads is
by the people, and the wishes of tho
people sac-aid, and must, be srfAutsL
HOUSEHOLD r V
S V MATTERS -5
Good Doiiehunlf .
Measure four cups of sifted flour and
Sift again with four level teaspoons of
baking powderj one level teaspoon of
spice. Add, ' three-quarters cupj. of
sugar, one beaten egg, a teaspoon of
melted butter and one cup of milk.
Roll out, cut in shape and fry. in deep,
hot fat. :'.
'Ebb Santi-wiclies.
cook eggs in boiliug water for forty
minutes, which will make them mealy.
Press through a vegetable ricer and
season highly with salt and a little'red
pepper. Add about one teaspopn of.
olive oil, or soft butter, td each egg
and spread; between thin slices of but
tered bread.
s - -
Ham. and Macaroni. .
Break quarter pound of macaroni in
three pints of boiling salted, water.
Cook until soft (about twenty minutes).
Drain in a cdjauder. To this add one
cup white sauce, one cup minced, ham,
one saltspoon paprika. Put in baking
dish and cover with one-half cup grat
ed bread or roiled cracker crumbs
blended in one tablespoon melted but
ter. Bake until a nice brown. -
Chocolate Kread raiding-.
Soak two cupfuls of stale bread in
one quart of milk", scalded, for half an
hour; melt two squares of a chocolate
over hot water; add half a cup of sugar
and enough milk to make it pour eas
ily ; add it to the bread with pne-f burtii
cup of sugar, pinch of salt, one tea
spoon of vanilla, and two eggs slightly
beaten; turn. into a buttered pudding
dish, and bake one hour in a moderate
ev.n; serVc with hard sauce.
Caraway Cookie?.
Cream one-third cup of butter, add
one cup of sugar and beat well. Beat
one egg, add to the first mixture and
also two-thirds cup "of milk. Sift flour
cups of flour and five level teaspoons
of baking powder together and use as
needed to make the dough soft enough
to handle. Add two teaspoons of car
away seeds. Make little balls, lay on
a buttered pan and press into little
cakes. Bake in a moderate ovcu.
" Kidney igiofr.
uake a large beef kidney cut nil the
fat out, cut it up ia slices, then' let it
lie in cold water with a teaspoonful
of salt added, fifteen minutes, wipe
dry, aud then put ia the pot with
threp half-pinfs of cold water; let it
boiftwo hours Half ''en hour before
it is done add oiie largo onion sliced,
oue teaspoonful of powdered sage, a
very little grated nutmeg and pepper,
and salt to season well.; Serve hot with
mashed potatoes. "v
rare, core and quarter ripe pears and
weigh them. To six pounds of pear
put two cups of water and cook slowly
until softened to a pulp. Add four and
one-half pounds of sugar and cook un
til a thick marmalade is formed." Stir
often and cook moderately lest tbS
pear aud , sugar scorch, as there is very
little liquid in the mixture to prevent
burning. If gas is used fov cooking,
turn the burner very low and put some
thing between the kettle and the
burner.
A currycomb makes an excellent fish
scaler.. . -' " w" -
A piece of camphor put into water
will keep flowers for a long time.
Mud spots on silk can generally be
removed by rubbing with a piece of
linen dipped in benzine or alcohol.'
If, when making jellies, the insides
of the molds are well brushed with
white of egg, tho jellies will turn
quite easily.
Finely-brokeo egg-shells shaken vig
orously with a little warm water in
clouded water bottles, or vases will
remove the deposit.
To obtain onion juice, pare and quar
ter a large, fresh onion. Put each
quarter into a wooden lemon-squeezer
and press out the juice. ,
Milk applied to ink spots will gen-,
erally remove them. Melted tallow is
said to hava the same effect After
treatment cover with salt.
Thin slices of brown or. gluten bread
lightly buttered and then spread with
cream cheese make delicious sand
wiches to serve with lettuce and to
mato salad.
When coffee has been split'on a table
cloth, the stain can be removed by
soaking the ' art in clear cold water,
to which a little borax has been added,
for twelve' hours.
A good polish for stoves is, made of
one teaspoonful of powdered alum
mixed with the stove polish. The
brilliance that this polish wJU give to
a stove will last for a long time. -
A bolt of cheese cloth' should be as
essential a feature of the young house
keeper's menage as the bolt of home
spun lino" was of grandmother's. Noth
ing makes better dusters; it serves as
glass and china toweling and is an
ideal fabric for the dish cloth.
, To keep moths out of furs and flan
nels, sprinkle epirits of turpentine over
sheets of paper. Place a sheet between
each garment. The turpentine will
evaporate . when exposed to tho air.
The odor J may be more agreeable to
some; than that of the camphorated tar
balls.
Humor
, - We AU Uo.
. . ' -
A feasy old gentleman wren
Once tried to make love to a hen.
(She started to scold
And turned iiim down cold
We all get our bumps now and then.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Bold Thinz.
'Jdanmsh! . I should say she
"What has she been doing novJ"7
'Getting off street cars facing the
front." Cleveland Leader.
v . Only Playiuff. ' '
Jimmic, Jimmie, don't you know it's
awful to ray those swear words?"
"1 was dus' playiu' I was papa hunt
in' for his collar button." Detroit Free
Pres. ?
Canned Goods ' '
Church "Do you speak any foreign
languages?"
Gotham "No, sip; the only foreign
tongue I ever Bad any use for came
iu a tin box."; Yonkers Statesman. '
Familiar Example.
- "Now, little boys," "said, the Sunday
school superintendent, H want you to
tell me what faith if".
"Goin' out on the pi early in ihe
mornin' to ketch a mess o' fish for
breakfast." Chicago Tribune,,
Marked Advances.
'Has Oidboy made any advances to
ward a reconciliation with his gay
ypung wife.?" '
"Yes I think he has made an ad
vance of several thousand dollars."
N ,w Orleans Times- Democrat.
Before She Knew Him.
Wife "Do you recoil ect that
.hen Ave had a tiff I said you
once
wer
just as mean as you could be?"
Husband "Yes, darling."
Wife "Ob, James, how little did
know you then." Baltimore Sun,
He Knew Jfot.
"What is the luckiest day to be born
on?" '-.'
"Couldn't say. I only tried o""
New York Tress.
, .la a Pet.
"That sparrow was in a blind rage
aminute ago," said the first robin.
"I guess that explains why ho went
off in a pet just now," replied the other.
"How do yod mean 'in u pet?' "
"That Angora cat just caught him."-:.
Philadelphia Ledger. v
Ouiclcly Concealed.
''My boy' said the benevolent par
son, "I hope you do not hide your light
uiider a bushel?"
"Light?" echoed the"lad, who was
learning to smoke iu the baru. "Why,
when I hear dad coming, I hide the
whole cigar under a bushel." Chicago
News.
Accurately Informed.
"The mosquito must be a mighty In
telligent animal," said the, man who
says foolish things.
';What makes you think so?"
"If he couldn't read and write, how
could he manage to pick out all the
summer resorts so accurately?" WaJ.
ingtou Star.
Ills Choice. -
"What would "you rather have-an
auto or its equivalent iu money?"
"An auto." .
"Why?"
"Because your money goes fast and
then you haven't got it, but an auto
goes fast and you still have it." Cleve
land Plain Dealer,
No Wonder.
"What's the matter with C-arrage'i
voice? It sounds like a fog horn."
"Why. Garrage was out in the coun
try Avith his auto yesterday, and some
one stole his squawker. So all the way
in he honkhonked with his voice, and
that's what's the matter wth-it."'
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
'.'"' Water.
Hicks "He hasn't been in Wall
S-treet long, but he seems to be quite
at home there."
Wicks "Yes, he takes to stock-jobbing
like a duck."
Hicks "You ineau 'like a duck-to
water.' " -
Wicks "Yes: but Avhy be so tauto
logical ?" Catholic Standard-Times.
As He Expected It.
"I. suppose you don't take much in
terest in ancestry and that sort of
tiling," said Count Fucash. .'
"Oh, yes I do," answered the eminent
mathematician. "I have the highest'
respect for a first-class ancestor.. He is
)ften the active nuineraMbat Is relied
n to give potentiality to a long subsc
luent line of ciphers." Washington
Star. ". , - -
Several uranium minerals '. hava
shown radium directly proportional iu
quantity to the amount of uranium,
which tends to confirm the suggestion I
that radium is formed by the breaking
dowa of the uranium atom.
The average height of man is fouua
by A. Dastre to have continued - the
same for thousands of years, as shown
In primitive man, prehistoric man, and
kistoric . man. The great size of an
cient man is imaginary V
Oae of the most siugu'iar of the many
curious fossils yielded by the famous
opal fields at White" ClifTs, N. S. .WV. la,,,
an opalized shark. .It is .three and R
half feet long and eighteen inches in
greatest circumference and is encircled
from tip to tip with thin veins of pur
ple opal. ' - .
Some plants gw to Sleep overy night.
The mimosa, or , sensitive plant, in
daylight opens its fragile leaves which"
are hard at work eating, absorbing the
carbonic acid of the air into plant food
At nigbC the mimosa sleeps and di
gests what it has eaten, and the leaves
fold up double against each other, tau
stem droops and the leaf is limn aud
apparently dead.
Experimenting on the influence of
metal containers on the ferinentatiotf
of liquids, Leopold Nafhan has shown
that German silver, copper, zinc, brnss
and bronze have a decidedly strong, in-
hibitory effect, while tin and lead . bavo
moderate action. Polished iron, sil
ver, . gold, polished tin, aluminum.'
nickel, as well as celluloid, glass and
hard rubber, have little -or no effect.
The smoothness of the surface of met
als seems to have decided Influenc?. w
'X striking instance of the change
which the-cultivation of natural science
is capable of causing in the face of tho
earth is afforded by a remark of Mr."
Andrew Murray concerning the results
achieved by horticulture in England.
Tbey have, he saidv affected the ap
pearance of all England. "Nowhere
can a day's ride now be taken where
the landscape it not beautified by some
of the introductions of the Royal Hor
ticultural gasiety." . 4
- i "' i,
Perfumei.
"The manufacture of perfume by
natural processes. or from the natural
flower," said Mr.'James H. Calisber,
of New York, at the Rennert, "Is an
tiquated and practically out of com
mission, now wonderful is nature is .
indicated when I tell you tbst all our
perfumes are made from f je synthetic
odors of coal tar, and that tne retain- .
ing body is ambergris, or civel tue
first a foul, waxy concretion cast off
from the stomach of the sperm wliaic,
the second an equally offensive matter
from the civet cat. These retaining
bodies, by tho way, have a high value,,
especially the ambergris a piece of
which, worth $20,000, was found a few
days ago by. a fisherman off Cape Cod.
Toilet waters, formerly seemed by dis
tillation, are now secured by percola
tion, and, in fact, the whole business
of perfume making has been revolu
tionized. The genuine oil of rosea
from Bulgaria is about the only article
now distilled from the fresh flowers.
The artificial oils are the iouine, for.
violet; heliotrope, for heliotrope; lilac
ine, for lilac! and so on, ia every ease
being a perfect substitute for tbe nat
ural odor. -
"But what is the need of the substi
tute? Is It a question of economy?'
"Not at all. The artificial perfumes
are no cheaper, but the chemical pro
cesses saves time. When the pomades
were used it was nec-jssary to freeze
and wash them early in the winter for
the entire year's supply. Now we havo
our oils ready to band and in forty
eight hours wo can turn them out in
the finished perfuues. It is purely a
question of. time aud convenience."
The fancy basket is going out of
style, according to Mr. Calisber..
"Instead," he said, "the square,
round, octagonal and vari-formed box,
in Oriental colors and designs, is the
popular thing for your perfume. bot-"
ties. Here is one, for instance, fa
mous Byzantine plaque; here id a lot
of boxes "decorated in Japan and m
ported direct; here are some Grecian
and Egyptian models. The entire ten
dency is. toward the Oriental effects,
and we are making no effort to main
tain the old styles." Baltimore News.
Inkling!
It Is generally the woman with n
fine carriage who is most willing to
walk. . '
"While there's life there's hope" i
not exactly tbe motto for an under
taker. .
The 'girl of the period seldom comes,
to a full stop until she finds tbe youug
man' of the ipterrogation point.
.. There is nothing some disdainful wo
meu hold up to ridicule oftener tbau
their lognettes.
. TJbe confidence mau's road to uecws
often peems to be paved with gold
bricks; Arthur L. Tubbs, id Every
body's Magazine.
Latest From Ko ill.
The imperial telephone Jingled mer
rily. "Who is there?" demanded the Czar.
wondering if it Avcre' possible for ary
one to shoot over the wire.
" 'Tis I," cried Kuropatklu.
"What is the pews?" '
"I had to run all night." ;
"Bah! 'tis nothing. I had to walk all
night."
"You?"' ,
. "Yes, I had to walk the baby vf aa
doVn the hallway."
And just theu a tlay Yolce eallei
Topiaky!" Baltimore Herald.
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