PAGE FOUR
*;**» < ‘£**.******* , t*-«**»*-»**»**-**J*''«**»**-**-**-**"*****-”-*****-“-* ''*
;| Laws Could Add to |
| Personal Comfort |
| Bp RING LARDNER J
,To roe Ehiitor:
Here’s a • copy of the message 1 am
sending to congress and inayiis to e > T
might not dastglve it out to the
Lperg adheres a copy of it. K
W* - * ••'
jKteH v ,lqdys ( fiu*4 sppt*. 1 realise •»
’ ain't cnotemary for nobody only .the
|*£P i ,:
body jaGdiug you one a specially.. *.,
ntiui cioto to the whlto\
*hiiiiicTin' mvsqlif, and thlghf of,got ail.
way Inlf t biMln-t of left WaiMog
too l few nitoutep before the Goo\
JidM docfded to iunke U, a
•ptiVTst 'least |uptot °. f .
the Wds that dtd get in I dou 1 sfO,
how they could of barred this bu |7*'
£»t beside® if yoji fcftjs J». aching
M ipessag?^iU
•R« %
rae or the preside© or tne ouija feof r <v?
,so 'aayway IA» to vyrito, «hd
•point * few tlhinga needy.t,eu-,
••i> to W ?■,. ; : . ; • -•«*”
, WeiC geets, you k'bow the old. gag,
that, people that lives to a glass house
shoHldoU ®«t ,of a bot so the
i place to commence ioakeing,jnefor{ns.
•i?Tight, where yog are £t, nsraely ; t*»«
■■•4m? >“?"
no way. yoij <#p § begin
ning than appt r a committee to attend
alf the ball games to IVaqfijngtoji this,
season and fl.ml out if the ; home team
;is really playiog their best. .
And the nexlt thing to do is to give
the town Pullman telephone booths so
a person can enjoy a nights, rest while
•waiting for the wrong number and
thus kill 2 birds with one nickel be
sides getting your shoes shined.
“Please use this rag to wipe your
razor as one small cut destroys a
towel.’* • , , .
“Guests without baggage 25 cts. ex
tra for meats served in booth."
“Stop; have you anything left?”
Pass a bill providing for the pres
ident not to leave Washington during
his* incumbrance as they are libel to
run wild when they get away from
home and go to gay Paree and buck
the Tiger or something. Presidents,
of course, like to travel because they
get 10 cts. per mile which nets tl em
about 2 cts. profit at the present rates
minus the amusement tax on a upper
but if they claim they can't get along
without some such kind of a get rich
quick scheme, why allow them a.dime
for every mile they stay on the fair
way and I gue?s by the end of 4 yrs
they will have enough saved up to buy
Vz interest in a milk chocolate.
I also wished you would put tip the
names of the different govt, bldgs, in
big letters so as when a man is show
ing his Mrs. the town she won’t act
like she lias him subpoenaed.
Borrow a 1(5 yr. old dependent child
soinewheres and give it to the bird
that figured out tho personal exemp
tion allowance on the income tax and
make him support it on S2OO a year
Pas« a rule to permit smokeing in
the senate and house so as you hoys
, won’t keep asking teacher if you can
leave the rin.
So much for local legislation and
now we come to matters that effects
the whole U. S. States and the first
'thing to do is pass another amendment
because it takes in both the 18th and
10th amendments to have this new
amendment provide that Election Day
is Kings X from prohibition so a man
will have some place to hang around
while the madam is spoiling ballots.
Repeal the truants law so a person
won’t have to go aii spring and fall
without a caddy.
Repeal the law vs. the rabbit punch
in boxing. Tide punch is a blow that
lands at the base of a fighter’s brain
and it looks so me that the man that
I unde it instead of being disqualified
ought to be given a seat in, the lutll
of fame along with Columbus and Ad
mi ral‘Peary.- . ‘ ''
•No % fare minded congress wants
to show partiality towards either one
of the 2 Ivig govt, war so an-,
other' sporting event that should
oaght *Yo* be on the shelf is the
service game." This saves', them the
tijnutifo of getting 4 rj<! ofjhe frcU^ra.
I Pa& a l aw" vk ‘ men wen rin g dipper j
HfattmT which iloift benefit uthiodyj b\tt
"r <r
ttmre was to* much opposition ,to
abolishing this quadqt custom alf to
gether, at teaVe til hVf Whm;
govt. * regulation so as, when jfou are
and ast to dinner you won’t*
' have to go through no all day battle
of this
WtX vl, .v U S toM *
Make
to regards so hats In co-ed elevators.
The it ’is now a mao is alt
is l he stays in one town but the min
ute he goegi visiting he is all wrong.
For lust, if you are in Chicago you
keep your hat on the elevator
is In a hotel or a department jstqre.
tu N. Y. city you also take tlieia off
.in a ‘apt. bldg, providing - the lady
ain't your oWri Wife or a ’refatli'e. , But
in places likw Washington you gptt<A
expose yourself in eMvator* of all*
kinds -and whefr I and *tii£ madam were
t»n a sight-seeing trip to the different
Moors f ‘of tvftlce bldgs. I discovered 1
was ftie only gent in (he cps. wiOl, a
covered egg and feit even sillier than
These la a few of the needed legis
iations, hoys, and 1 wished you would
find time to give them tension but i
suppose you will be too busy ntonklng
with the words and music of a peace
treaty' with’ a country that knows, pi
at least has heard fwuors, that we
ain't been fighting them for Id yrsl
T© by lbe BeU Symlltsup*. pßc >
vrt'T- ■■
;; An Evening With 'j JI
i: the Spirit* |
(I #
jj By RING LARDNER j>
fipqf the Editor: *
* Mm other P. M they was a bunfeh of
og up to Yoiikem talking about what
terrible spirits you jpet, -N. Y
now days and 1 tjf jtl*e, .in
party name U«rJb ag/atoe ffhpre
they was some beautiful apirjts and
fet'
4 9rn Hrafe W^s^
doctor’s t»«q*e 4.he door aqcj
jujrseljf g«y probstoS give
U» a
for, a gpsjr 4PC, tdolL. uo in A
) Inside rfjftjn apd u» v to a,
\ ladi; ; they cad fttedie,. .witch
I imrq
seeTthe kiiuj of spii-Hs yfs
ktod.yre thought yys j^t
*»* , ki^
ws« a JdaditMn
eapld of Jose 3d or 40 pounds and
s****& i m
;i Wall, pretty spon and the doe
roocn, j(rt Where, .they, was >aty>ut 20,
; g^st^.,mostly jerngle that looked
t|ka ttte cn,d g d«iy., ; A .
I alma uiate,r. of Oberlin. coll<?ge ast ,me
to itokT’aCji>to< ?
’ was stretched .the
It wag a hupyh toys. as r 4oils
; and . cooties and Metlle. tyd,
told |ie> was Jor spirits v .td*
play with when they f< 4
We was ail put around in a circle
like Yale learning (heir.signals in the
4th quarter, I set. next Jack and
his Airs.,from Ypickers rest,of
wq skepticqls was. scaitered abound
amidst the believers*. .
“Is there somebody here nntne R”
says Aledie so I says yes it was me.
“This is Edward” says the spirit ami
Medie ast me if I had a brother Ed
ward and 1 says* yes. So Medie says
“This is. your brother Edward that
was killed in a accident a long wile
ago wasn’t he?” So 1 says yes 3 yrs
ago. Then Edward said Hello there
and I said hello Edward how are you
and he said hello there and I couldn’t
refute it so he left the field with the
last word and give his megaphone to
a Irish comedian.
“Oil, here's Pat O’Brien’’ says the
doc. “He is a funny Irishman that is
with us every night, get his brogue
So then Pat told a Irish story that
died even longer ago than Edward
but you don’t feel like razzing the
spirit so everybody laughed the right
amount.
Before the darkness had fell I had
noticed a bird s'etting over to tlie left
of me that was a countryman of Nora
Holmer and now all of a sudden a
spirit spoke to him in Norski and fie
answered back in the same strain and
l never understood Norway before but
as soon as these birds begin to talk I
knew they was saying hello Knut hello
there and etc. Pretty soon Medie
turned to the live ski jumper and told
him his mother was going to die.
“She was all right tiie last time I
seen her” says Ellert. “Weil she is
going to die” says Medie and personly
I think she was right as Ellert was
around 45 yrs. old and when a man
gets that age their mother is seldom
never trying out for the Yassar basket
hall team.
“Mere’s a beautiful spirit, who does
he want” says Medie next, “lie says
dear hoy.”
‘ Lots of people call me that” says
Herb the guy that had broughteu us
there at $2.00 a crack.
“Yes it is your father and he says
he was on the river once in a boat
when he was a little hoy and was
saved from drowning and he says
something about a dog. Did a dog ever
swim out and save your father from
drowning?”
“Well no” says Herb after a terrible
pause. “But a dog barked and roused
up the neighbors and they come to the
rescue.” .
“There 'that’s evidential” says the
doc aud several . female voices says
wonderful; > ...
“S!usfy”„,says Medie ,“is there some
one here. that, lost their wife?”
did” s«ya Jack.
* “Hello sweetheart” says, the spirit.
“Heilo i #Hte” »ays Jsefc, ; '
;; ‘‘Hedo s'aya tlm spirit. ,
~ iniifq, pt torgot
m ir )iCf4w.
*£.. I*ol*. th^ ( tm»e,l got reat v
smoke and begin nittting a
; •cigarette paper ; and , a : flew spirit.
' and ~^ays^fhj?LV
»»■« >■ • -•fl‘ S < --W,--
’ “Tbgi’S; Bright iEyea qays,
Medie. “She wants to know wliat you
have gpt.” v .,, i: . , ....
“Tell her i got a sore knee” I says.;
" “Ese serious” says Bright Eyes.
Well, they was a lot more of them
that give us aU thq latent, ? uews from
Over There like hello abd hello
tltere aqd r hello j _ mqtotnp ll^*d! :
Medie ck.me ,tp and. turned Up- 4ie
lights a/id PC to L
: . “Welf” says "you’ imye
'a.’hfotoer that got filled 3-yrs. logoff \
“No” ,| Sfiya “But 1 know a man that
! has a brother Edward thqt ought to qV
been killed 3.yrs. ba^ # «r^
"that d*»V story?”
“vVeli” lie suys “Pari of It is true
We b>"e to haye’a.dog once and he use
,V, : V'•*' ” • i. • -
to bark, ’ , ,
Then Mrs. Jack from Yonkers hulle»)
* Jack out and we all thanked Herb
for taking us to where they was noth
ing but, beautiful spirits and he ssys H
you want the bad kind you can go to a
Medie evil.
{{St by iM BeU Syndicate. Cnc.»
THE CHATHAM RECORD, PITTSBORO. N ;
CORINTH ITEMS
| / , . . '
j Master Junius Stephens has been
[very ill this week, but after having
his ears lanced seems to be im
proving.
Mr. and Mrs. W. Hubert Coss
have just left Corinth for Fayette
ville, where he Is employed by the
Carolina Eight ;and Power Com
pany. • K t
The people of this community
were very busy during the pretty
weather hauling pulp wood and
cedar. Some of them got mqre fpr
a ; few loads of cedar , t thqy
made from their whole '* cottop crop.
, Mr. * S. V. Stephens pf
is clearing a site here for a planing i
mfll„ which is to be installed,, im
mgdtotoly. He 'is a'lso to pqt t ,in
two saw . miljs just . across ? Cape,
Fear river to-cut a large tract of
timber on the'McCoy*s quarter. We
understand Mr., Stephens will pur
chase lumber, from other mills in
this” vicinity. 1 All toid, thiss will
medn * a good /pay roll and consid
erable money brought into "this sec-'
■
. -#**»*•- m**w**um' . .iWft fFRW"*".-^
j CUT COFFEE-COST W H*LF' *
Yog 'get as ’ cups trom' one pound of
| “Gold Ribbon” Brand, Coffee and Chicory as
if . you do from two pouiids of ordinary 'boffiee,*
because it is Double Strength. Cut your CGffee
;1 bill in half by using “Golfl Ribbon”" Blenii---
one pound lasts as long as two pounds of ordi
nary coffe—arid you pay no more!
j B t wL f J ]
ACTTODAY..DONT MISS THESE BARGAINS!
TT7 . .Gn « -v • . .*v . «<• j g ; t ,• ii:;j .
•t • j— * 1 ! j»
f . (frwtsvnmc | /<m lffl w y.aY\
fIPIG REDUCTIONS
%#o«USED CARS
.v*. If you^ha rent /attended' Chevrolet *4. Great Spring 'fradedKißi you canWu^atoaAdsahic,d«pend-"
- €lean»nce JSale. come in today! To mate IF the, ab|e used car bearing the.red tag “with a« OK that 1
»-* ’ “ higgUsrhf its hitid ever hdd in *his community >we that - hifc
offer big reddens o» that aaffcai new to r«woodidoaed by eipcrt ttiW;banlcA th
r tefbrd oi :: mwm ‘ .mi ■■ ;v'iiiatiita«<: 4 *m» \ topuihh appewrance - and performaoce; f : ‘ *
•*- -- .. '*# '* * .<» '**«'■< f»» j 4.
' ttiebUi-MiptiM tiven di« IV3* Chevrolet hsM filled See <uir big fteiecHon of makes and audek carryta4 i
oiir showrooms with l*te model, low, mtteoge cars -’ the Ramsons red “08. that counts" tags- Buy tdd«f {
... thdtomst b*h(rtddhl# weekdo-ouikefrooßidormoi*!-, and save! « . r ,.v » :•
THI MOST EXTSAOSPINASY VALUM M LOW PSH*** 4 AMO S
tTUKDIJ CARS, ....a- ™ . »*-Si .
1927 CHEVROLET TRUCK
* 32 x 6 inch tires on rear; rups
good.; A ’bargairi for >
$175.00
' ' ';* - ;* • •• i
1926 CHEVROLET TOURING
■i Car, a Bargain at
$150.00
'1: ‘ ■.
‘ d
X • >,f. •' , ’ .... . . r - v s - • / *
- f • f * - • * ’’*
SMALL DOWN PAYMENTS —EAST G. M. A. C. TERMS
THE ECONOMY MOTOR COMPANY
SILER CITY, N. C.
M BUY “OK’* USED CARS FROM A CHEVROLET DEALER
* < it k * V.i - -sA« -*1 tJf'.TJ . .7/ . ... -t *#v A- Y-«.
iO We ate glad to Say that little
Sadie Marie Dickens, who has been
quite ill with tonsilitis and cold, is
much improved. '
We have just learned that our
own Mr. Will Harrington will run
for the legislature. We are- glad
to have so worthy a citizen jn our ,
community and hope him .success,
Mr. James .Cross isi to represent ,
the Moncure high school in tpe
oratorical contest among ; the high
schools of Chatham ( couafey,for the ,
$25 prize to be given.- f We v toope
this yo-ungster wins the ftrife. /
>We are glad <to note. f that Mr'.
H. R. Dickens is back ..after. about
Six : months* stay at the Sfajte Sana
torium. He has been fcqeitCL- op - .A;
rest cure And for observation and.
treatment for lung wasp
him a complete and speedy recoy-;.'
ery. He is looking stout, and WflU.
The school house here., that jyas-,;
sacrificed, or thrown away, *by the
county had been partitioned dft and,
prepared for dwelling anq ,
,is partly occupied'by Mr. 4*X Spivqy
and family. »
' _ ■■' ■ i )■. i lit ;
U* s If %?
— 1
1928 Plymouth Sedan
with ' >1930 ; license, - good
. tires, good paint, first-class
mechanical condition. A
bargain. Price
$30Q,0«
*j *>io nS-g r-hi4iW«
• to -w . to v V*
“TAKE IT FROM ME,” 1
a Home ‘Oiwner Sky»— |
- - ’j ' - - ~Y- ’' >'
.-K . .. . r\ •: •••>,”.••-** *, •. ‘f’l
. “Bve found that as a rule you get what '<
■ ’• ''-i & •-'"'T "' ‘l* •• ■•- * <• • A r fi
you ’pay sos.f of. My roof cost me a little, ~i
mpee becattSH it!s worth more. *. I vj
have put on a substitute for & few dollars
less. It would, have kept the weather out l
for a few i years./Instead, I spent. a little ’
more .andi got a roof that Fll never have *<
to» replace and that is -completely fire
proof. Besides, my roof, has beauty and P
|**.vy % , .- t
I ; a solid substantial look that flimsy ma- '
teriais just can't give. I made {
| a might -good buy.” • v'Mrf >
‘Ahy horiie owrier can profitably follow
! this . •; .r > ? 1 ‘ :
Durham headquarters for colorful and
• " "• ./ , . ;■ ..4 .* / r ;’* /. i % \* •
durahla Richardson Shingles.
THE BUDD-PIPER
ROOFING CO.
DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA
It’s a long time since we've seen a robust doctor.
THURSDAY, MARCH 6. 10->a
1926 ESSEX COACH
. Run only; 13,000 miles, good
i tires, and new license. 'Price
$200,00
i-MriM -ti
- . *4 •••.•' / r y- :i‘
1926 FORD TOURING CAR
New Paint
mm
> n f : ?