Newspapers / The Tarborough Southerner (Tarboro, … / April 12, 1831, edition 1 / Page 4
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BETTY BROOM. " v A country girl was Betty Broom, That went to live in town; And never felt she was so much uit As when she first came dozvn. She hail a'pretty face, A heart above disguise, And yet she could, at any time, Throw dust in people's eyes. For Betty was a chamber maid, And swept her mistress' room: And her mistress said she ne'er before Had found so stout a Broom. A fireman, young, and straight and tall, To Betty courting goes: Was it not strange, that bring in love,- He should neglect his hoset Quoth he, "I am a fireman bold; And isn't it a shame, That all my engine unity, Cannot put oul this flame?" He swore that loss of wagtr'd pelf Ne'er put him in a pet; And yet he swore he'd hang himself, If he should loose his Bet. And he declared, come weal, come wo, From her he ne'er would part; For though he long'd to ring' her hand, He ne'er would wring her heart. Whene'er he talk'd about his love, So much on vows he ran, That all his friends declared he was A promising young man. , "Besides," said they, "his constancy, No trifle can impair, He loves good living and of course Can ne'er forget his fore." " 'Tis true he was a farmer bred, And that for lack of pence: But then he is a gentleman, , For he had learned to fence." I wonder how young men can bear To promise, sigh, and flatter; 'Tis plain that matrimony now, Is made a money matter. And so it proved, for he was false; And then you know what follows, ftiss Betty sued him, gained the cause, Andchang'd her grief for dollars. Herav'd and stamp'd in useless rage, Made many fiery speeches, And swore 'twas a degen'rate age, When women sued for breacha. To my daughter on her birth day. BV BERNARD BARTON. My child, this is thy natal day, And might a father's prayer For thee inpire his votive lay, What blessing shculdst thou share! Shall wit, or wealth, or beauty move Thy sire to bend his knee? I hold thee far too dear my love. To ask these things for thee. If wish of mine might prove of worth, Be this thy porticn given; Thy Mother's blameless life on earth Thy Mother's lot in Heaven! An insane Mail's idea of a tmc Republican. A diversity of ideas lias been entertained in different countries, respect ing the nature a true republic an. During the former French revolution, it was one who de lighted in anarchy and blood shed. In the time of Oliver Cromwell, it was one who ha ted the king, eschewed wigs and sung psalms through his nose. In our own times and country, it is one who is for holding fast to the negroes and driving off the Indians. But the following characteristic of a true republican, as the reader will perceive, differs from all the others. The anecdote is related by a physician of our acquaintance. He was called upon to visit a man in this city, who, in a fit of insanity, had attempted to cut his own throat with a pair of shears. He made several clips through the skin, but did not succeed in dividing any of tne important blood-vessels; and the principal injury he did was notching out a piece of his windpipe. The doctor mend ed up his throat as well as he could, and gave him particular directions to keep his head still. But in visiting him the next day, he found he had been tossing about, and had got the dressings sadly deranged. But one curious idea seemed to have taken possession of him, viz.: that the doctor had carried off his head. Full of this strange notion, he demanded of him as soon as he entered, what he had done with his head. "Your head!" said the man of medicine, "why, I tried to fasten it on, yesterday, but I see you have torn ofFthc dres sings." "iNow, doctor," replied the patient with a look of suspicion-, "that story wont do to tell me; I'm not to be imposed upon. You know very well that you carried off my head, and unless you bring it back within half an hour, I shall have recourse to the law. Verbuin sal sapient i you understand me." And he gave a .significant look, as much as to say, if I have lost my head I know how to recover it. The doctor was a little puz zled what to do. lut he again assured him that, notwithstand ing the efforts he had made to divide them, his head was still sticking to his body. "I wonder you'll persist in telling that stof," said the in credulous patient; "you see I ve too much brains to be imposed upon, and I insist upon your restoring my head. As for my body I dont care a fig for that, vou may take it and welcome. But my head I must have; I'm true republican, and have a right to my head it's one of the inalienable rights of man, and I'm determined to have it, if it costs me mv life." N. Y. Pa. A solid Hogshead. The heading and some of the staves of a tobacco hogshead which had been exported from New Orleans to Bremen have re cently been returned to the former city. The heading is of solid oak, six inches thick, and the pieces exhibited. which comprise only a part of which the hogshead was com pesed weigh upwards of 350 pounds. A letter from Bre men mentions that frauds of this charucter have been fre quently committed in shipments from New Orleans. Jury Trial. One J. II. Beady being on trial at Mont real fur burglary, the Jury re turned a verdict of guilty. The Chief Justice said, ihe Court seldom interfered with a verdict of a jury, but he would respectfully ask if the Jury had considered that the nrisoimr had been proved to he 24 miles from the place where the crime was committed; and there was no other possibility of his hav ing committed the crime than by his travelling 43 miles, and crossing two ferries in one night. The jury were then remanded and soon after retur ned a verdict of not guilty. The prisoner was then put on trial for receiving stolen goods. Reminiscence. ..Thomas Burn side, of Stratford, N. II. was one of Roger's Rangers in the French war, and slightly woun ded in the battle of January 21, 1757. Some years afterwards, he was desirous of becoming a Justice of the Peace. He procured Col. Burr to assist his views, and carrying with him by his direction, as a present a firkin" of butter and a piece of linen, waited upon Governor Wcntworth at Portsmouth. He stated to the Governor that the inhabitants of the town could not live peaceably any longer without a magistrate. The Governor inquired how many inhabitants belonged to the town, and who was the fittest man for the office. Thomas answered that himself and his hhbor were the only mnauit- ants ant 1 himself the only man qualified for the appointment; for his neighbor was no mmu fit for Justice of the Peace than the d 1 was. The Governor gave him his commission and was - highly amused with the singularity of his application. This was an old fashioned method of acquiring an office but comical as it appears, we have more respect for the pro tensions of Justice Burnside than for a score of those which are now-a-days made use offer similar purposes; he made' no pretensions to more patriotism than other people,-but honestly considered himself the fittest man, and produced the solid material to pay for his commis sion. Boston Tra v c lie r . Bets. A claim was lately brought before the Court of King's Bench, in England, to recover the amount won upon a fight between a couple of Dogs Lord Chief Justice Ab bott refused to try the case, be ing of opinion that the time of the Court was not to be wast ed in trying which dog or which man won a battle, as the whole of these wafers were il egai. it is noped me time will soon come, (says the Jour nal of Law) when all kinds of bets will be excluded from the grave consideration of learned Courts. ' A Man of Bone. In the Dublin museum is the body of an ossified man, a Mr. Clark, who fcll'aslcep in the open air when, in a perspiration, and caught a severe cold; soon after, ossification commenced, and continued for several years, till the whole man changed to bone. After his teeth had grown together, and become one solid mass, his miserable existence was prolonged by breaking an aperture, through which nourishment was receiv ed until his death. Savannah Georgian. Interesting to the Ladies. The J ournal of Health strongly recommends simple soap and water, as the best wash for preserving the complexion, ins tead of the thousand varieties of cosmetic lotions, which arc so much used. There are five beautifiers of the skin, viz: personal cleanliness, regular exercise, temperance, pure air, and cheerful temper: Let all pouting beauties ponder on this. The Journal puts its veto on the use of distilled liquor, Col ogne water, &c. and insists that, to use them for a wash,. is to destroy the suppleness, transparency and smoothness of the skin, and to cover it with unseemly blotches. Medical Science. The fol lowing epologue, says d'AIem bert, made by a physician, a man of wit and philosophy, re presents very well the state of , . . H.T is fm itinrr with t ho rinn.,.. a , ,. i ' ii blind man :nm,w . 1.1 , . "1VV1 VIU1 cum, in.u is, tne physician, comes in to settle the difference. He first tries to make peace be tween them. If he cannot sue coed in this, he strikes at ran dom; if he hits the disease, he kills the disease; if ,0 hits na ture, he kills nature. A Clincher. The word is frequently made use of when some circumstance is related which it would be an insult to but as it is seldom heard but among the lower orders of soci ety, so it entirely derives its or igin from thence. Two jour neyman mechanics were one day contending for superiority in ihe art of invention, and at lnnrrth laid l WagCr which of them could coin the greatest lie When the stakes were deposited, he that was to begin swore veuemuiiuy m.n. moonlight night he threw a tennennv nail with such force, that it went quite through the body of the moon, wincii was then at full. That's true, said his opponent, for I was on the other side at the very moment, and with my claw hammer I clinched the null. Ihe last fellow was adjudged the prize, and from that time every out rageous Talsohood has been ter med "a clincher." The but time to wind up a watch. There is a time for al! things, sTivs Solomon, a time p 7 -. . . to sing and a ume 10 maKo i i i ...... merry and wo auu a nine to i fv . i xt: . i wind up - ffwaicn. vnai inai lime is depends upon a man's habits. Are you an early riser and shave before breakfast tTie morning should also be al lotted to your chronometer. Yto vou sleep till the sun is mid way in the heavens wind up your watch the half hour before dinner, it will give you an ap petite. If vou are a man of business, be punctual about your time-piece, wind it up as regu larly as you go to bed that is the best time lor a man who goes to bed sober but if your habits arc irregular, or you ac custom yourself to wnisKev punch or gin-sling, by way of a night-cap, don't undertake to wind up your watch at that hour ten chances to one you find the key-hole leave it till morning, and then if your hand is not steady, call a ser vant to do it for you there is nothing like having a watch wound up properly. Behind hand. An idle fel low the other day complaining oi nis nard lot, said lie was bom the last day of the year, the last day.ot the month, and the las day of the week, and lie had al ways been behind hand. He believed it would have been fif ty dollars in his pocket if he had not been born at all! r f . ihis man belongs to tin. same school ot wits no doubt with him who hired himsel If r. . out to labour tor life at eihl dollars a month, with an agree- .-t-t ... o merutnat lie should have half bis pay at the end of every month, and the rest when his time teas out. Taunton Reporter. Go-bcticccns. There is nnr haps not a more odious char acter in the world than that a go-between. W which I mean that creature who carries to the cars of one neighbor e very injurious observation ii.nt happens to drop from the mouth I f I' wilO III .i i . . apersonis - Miu sianocrcr s herald mrl i. . ni.uii, and uiiogetnei more odious than the slanderer himself. By thi vne otnciousness he makes that poison effective, which cU were inert; for three-fourths of the slanders in the worhLwouId "ever injure their object, ex cept by the rnaiico Or0 .,n tweens who under the mask of ""uuiemencisiup, act the part u dpuble traitors. 'Excrcise.Penons whose nabits arc sedontn mere physical Cx preserve health- n.i Cls ly take daily v'S purpose, while i1P i,J'!, their thoughts rem,';.! gcd. This we conCci. a radical error. TJG M ercise that can produc? ly beneficial result which breaks up u li .4 ideas, fox hunting f,jr a,; ple; and diverts th,.,n - and various channels a inent writer has said,! ought .to be the (M!fi J4' "" v; . - ti tl IT C 0 d nvrv triMii t !.... :.. 'Of tmnc lirm tli ..i for it is to no purpViu tention continues fixed ' same point. This i nn l! true; and in order to the J," ment ot any advantage fo mind should he kept 0prn the access of every n(;wil, auu so iar (iisenafrp, f- )redomiuance of any uouguis, as easily lo an modate itself to the ent merit which may he tlravnfrv surrounding objects. Rebuke of the ArcUim York to a CUrgyman.-l itev. iir. waited nru. jiarkham to inform him.'-. the Rev. Henry Goodbrid' very respectable clcrvrr wen Known m the ort!i England, kept race horses nu, juu uun i say so, rep!;. nis grace. -es, said the! I t I r meddling intormant. vim! has actually entered one of I horses to run the ensuing met mg at Don caster Then said his Grace, "I'll bet yea guinea he wins.' We remember to have se-a says the New Harmony pap not a hundred miles from il city distinguished by "the lei: ned rortugusc as the Atlia of America, a sign overalls factory in these words; "NALE8 MAID HEAP The following notice, tlier. fore, 'not being the worst, ms;' stand in some rank of praise. It was put up at a store k in this town a few days sidi: and is copied to the wordei letter, with the exception s the signature. ..Let us b schools! Let us have school: NOTES. j for BeD ency person traden With mi Woman She has not sence enuf to IraD for hir Self nor no Body els j Will not Stand GooD for noas of hir contrack from Ihis Date October Conundrum.. ..Mr. fatem his musical Memoir, spcakir a Sunday evening musical party, says the amusement of the eve mug was conundrums. length Mr. Sheridan, in bisturfl, gave the following. 'Why pig looking-out of a garret of dow like a dish of mxen peas. This coming from She excited great attention, evefjy one setting his wits to vorlv'J discover the similitude, wh having racked brains to nopjr' pose for some time, they length unanimously gave it UP What!' said Sheridan, 'cant any of vou tell whva pi?!00!' is ing out of a r;irrpit window'3 like a dish of green peas!' no being the reolv, hcenjoyi the perplexity he had thro . I J . . II.. w. mem into, good humoreuiy joined, 'Faith, nor I neither- Mere bashf.ilncss without merit is nivfctv.'ird: and tferl1 Yvillirvift mndnotir inonlnnt. modest mrrit lino n ffflllh rally - 14 v. v. v j i m ic.-, uiJit meets with -as many patrons 2k j s '.uc understanding to belirvn. tl , "v:ci.ive emsuives into a belief that beholders.
The Tarborough Southerner (Tarboro, N.C.)
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April 12, 1831, edition 1
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