Newspapers / Winston-Salem Chronicle (Winston-Salem, N.C.) / Feb. 9, 1984, edition 1 / Page 13
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cThe w ^^Hflp^HraK^ lgf| jJ| ** BP ^ \ ^|fl jj^r ^H Wr ' '< ? ? M?*m Happiness to Khallda Lovell Is three charminj I The older black generation iffi! tdl|roit thai divorce used to be a hush-huas4^ subject in the presence of children, ?8$ t? it was, only in a Abortion was unspeakable, because no matfeed, one more couldn't hurt, and, of^^H Putting Grandma and Grandpa away because they had gotten old and senile would nr/\tta ? /-lie: *? ???*** nm#l iCaii **.t p?w?fc ? wnut uvv ??V WWU?U tfV\UlllV HIV MKU W the town. They moved ill when they could a? For this extenda Pity the door-to-door salesman who knocks at 38^ Barkwood Drive and asks, 44Is the lady of the house ; home?" The response would probably be, "Which one?" at tf Petree household, where Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Petrei their daughter and son-in-law, Mr. and Mrs. Clarem Lytle; and their daughters, 13-year-old Tammy an 17-year-old Rhonda Lytle, all live in one, big, happ home. Another granddaughter, Nelneeta Lytle, is in h< freshman year at North Carolina State University. 44I think the trend has gone toward being to yourself, Plarpncp I vtlp u/hn ^Aocn't rail!,? u ? ^.v,. v..?v > IV, "iiu uwvjii 1 I vail) WUII9IUCI II wife's parents as in-laws, but as a mother and fathei "Family's just aren't closely knitted anymore. No everybody wants to get awaV Not so in the Petree-Lytle family, where their typici Sunday dinners, prepared by mother and grandmothei Ida Mae Petree, may seem like a feast to the averag 1.5-children household. Nelson Petree says his entire family is considered to b one of the largest in Winston-Salem. Three more of th Petree children, all with their own homes and families live just a few blocks away on Sawyer Drive. "This is the headquarters," says Mr. Petree, referrin to the after-school stops by the five other grandchildre and the Sunday dinners after services at Macedonia Tru Vine Pentecostal Holiness Church Inc. When Mr. and Mrs. Petree were newlyweds, the coupl lived with the elder Petrees in their home because durin that time it was a common living arrangement. Burrell: he's dad George Burrell has always been a good father to hi two sons, 13-year-old Vernon and 12-year-old Derek. in the last three and a half years, however, he's als been a good mother. When Burrell and his wife divorced he gained custody of the boys. "If a person has the love and desire to be a parent,1 says Burrell, "he can be a good one, regardless if it's man or a woman." Burrell, who could best be described as a liberated dad does all the family cooking and he scoffs at the idea o wearing an apron while doing domestic chores. "When I was real young," says Burrell, "me and m brother used to stay with this old lady while my mothe was working. She taught me how to cook, sew, clean ani iron." Derek and Vernon eye their dad with approval. "I think he's a good father," says Vernon, who ap pears to be the youngest because his brother towers a cou pie of inches above tym. *"I really think he does a goo< job at being a mother, too." Burrell, 48, works with Southern Railway in Hig Point, and most of the time he's on call, leaving his tw< sons to spend the night with his mother, Elizabeth Bailey who also lives in Winston-Salem. ? 4 (zMagazin v-^ ^v|r ^Al ml* j Bfl |1 Bj^ fl Ia I I, very precocious little ladies. longer care for themselves. Every Sunday morning was the Lord's day. And after church, the family got together for Many of these values still hold true for many Salem, much is the same, despite divorce and Three Winston-Salon families, two of which Chromck what it is that makes their family a dfamily, their arrai H| ' ^^^p|r :- :^|M e V'-tvWjI^K?^Hp jjfl g Nelson and Ida Mae Petree, their daughter Melii daughters Rhonda, left, and Tammy prove that ex and mom, too is "We spend quality time together," says Burrell. "We do things together like playing basketball, bike riding or a o playing a game of football. I, "Even though I'm their father, 1 let them know I'm willing to listen to their opinions or problems," he says. " "But most of all, because 1 was brought up in the church, o I *r\l t /"? inrfill tUn ; ^ .A ~ ~ C 1: ?: " a * vi j vw 111o1111 imptii lautt m itriigiun in inein. The Burrells don't have a housekeeper, but visitors to I, their modest home might think so. Every piece of furif niture is in its place. "We have to spring clean and help him out," says Very non, "but when I grow up 1 know I want to be just like :r him." d Since Vernon and Derek were born, Burrell has always been there for them, and as a father contending with a lot of odds, he isn't complaining, i- "Right now, I really enjoy being single," he says. "My i- boys seem to be happy in the situation they're in." d Another thing that keeps the Burrell family in its proper perspective, says Burrell, is their appreciation for ! h what they have. o "I've always tried to teach them to be responsible and to be thankful for what they have," says Burrell. "They Please see page B8 u 9 e Section Lovell and her da just an ordinary Nine-year-old Atika Griggs realizes that her younger sister, 5-year-old Aquilla, is just a baby. She figures her attention-getting antics are just a stage. Atika and 7-year-old Aneesa are also old enough to realize that their mother, Khalida Lovell, and their f* Q f hpr Qm irnonn r i ^ n r L r?/4 ^-1- ^ ^ ? -? i upui vji 1553, udu incii ui 11 ci ciiccs luur years ago. "1 never thought I'd ever be divorced," says Lovell. "The first year without their father was hell." Atika is the only one of the two who can remember what life was like living with their father. They visit him every other weekend. "1 was in a state of shock," says Atika. "At first, I was mad, but now I understand." Lovell and her precocious little girls have each other and the four of them like to think of themselves as any other ordinary black family. 44In terms,of my divorce, I don't think they're afraid of loving people," says Lovell, "because we're honest with each other. "I tell them 1 think the home should be a loving one, with the mother and father hugging and kissing one another," she says. "But they're in a different home now and they understand that." It's obvious that the little girls look at their mother as more than just an authority figure in their lives, as evidenced by Atika, who Lovell labels the psychologist of the three because of her spell-bounding analyses of everything. "When mommy went to Chicago once," says Atika, "my aunt stayed.with us and we were so bored. My mom doesn't act old like a lot of the other kids' moms. She's so young and a lot of fun." In a lot of ways, Lovell has child-like mannerisms about her. When talking to the three, she doesn't use the stern voice most often heard from a parent. Playfully coaxing them on to sing a song the three of them learned at the Sister Clara Muhammad School, Lovell explains to them that she would be very disappointed if they didn't sing the song for her. One by one, beginning with Aneesa, they join in to build strong harmony to the pleasure of their mother. "1 don't have an obsession with my little girls," says Lovell, cuddling Aquilla as she warrants her mothers' attention for the mqfrnent, t4but outside of God, they're the most important-thing to me." :? mam 'i m ^ ? j igement is quite , Jf nee and her husband Clarence Lytle and their tended families can work. ?L S H / i ,^H ^BBEk ^1 * ' ^1 V^V \ B Hl- ^Hr ^H i^B^Biv^^iBBBBIIBBs^^^^^^^^lBil For Gcofft Burrell, center, raising two boys Is s? I Section B February 9, 1984 iughters are black family II ii/h n cnv/c c ko -U 1 > I .. >, vjiitu snares ncr prooieros witn her little girls because of their ability to understand so wpll, says it's sometimes difficult to accept their age and then there are times when her memory slips her. "Sometimes I forget that they're children," says Lovell. "In the mornings, 1 have only my children to talk to and that puts a lot of pressure on them." But Atika also sees a side of her mother that most children often find difficult to accept in a parent. "Parents don't want you to grow up," says Atika, "and sometimes mommy's like that, but we have a good relationship and we can talk things over." Aneesa agrees. "They (parents) always think you're supposed to stay . little," she says, "but with mommy it's different. "When she gets home," says Aneesa, "we wait until she gets all rested and undressed from work. Then we go upstairs and sit on her bed and talk about what we did that day." , . Lovell, who works as a file clerk for the city of Winston-Salem, has written a book on parentology and organizes community plays with casts mostly made up of children, including her own. "I believe in being the best parent I can be," says Lovell. "anrl 1 thinly mv nirlr <-?- <* -L:lJ , ?? . ..i; 1111iv g,n 13 aic me ucm cmiurcn they can be. "I think the economy is the greatest problem in bringing up a family today, but I think that happens in a lot of families where there is the single mother," she says. Despite LovelPs divorce, she says she still believes in the two-parent family. Sitting Indian style on the floor, she turns to her little girls and says, "We're going to find us a daddy aren't we?" The response is "yes." "I don't advocate divorce," says Lovell. "It's such a personal and private thing. I love the black man, and I have a sincere concern for hfm. However, because he's not in the home doesn't constitute us as not being a family. "The truth of the matter is, regardless of seperation," she says, "with faith in God and raising your children to believe that way, there can still be a wholesome and sound family without the two in the home." Confirming her mother's beliefs, Aneesa adds, "1 really think the four of us have a real strong relationship. We love our daddy, but now it's just us and we're doing asoecialone When Mr. Petree became seriously ill over 17 years ago, son-in-law Clarence and the Petree's daughter, " Melinee, moved into her parents home so Mrs. Petree wouldn't be there alone. "After that," says Mr. Petree, "they stayed on and we decided to buy a home together." Says Mrs. Lytle: "You've heard the saying: 4 A family that prays together, stays together.' We have a very religious family. We believe strongly in prayer, patience and Taith, and that's the way my parents raised us." Mrs. Petree nods in agreement with her daughter, takes a glance at her two granddaughters, and adds, "You know we're passing it on. I teach all my grands how to pray and the one away at State, 1 tell her to pray so she can keep up those grades." Living in an extended family would seem to have its drawbacks, that is, who'll handle what bills, the amount of food being consumed, lack of privacy and a host of others. "There is no man or woman of ijie house here," says Mr. Petree. "It's men and women of the house. "We love being with each other," says Mrs. Petree, who was being ribbed about the time just the two of them took a three-week vacation to Dallas, Texas. "We went around the end of August," says Mr. Petree, "and she worried me to death about the grandkids and if they were going to get off to school all right." - , He says the three-week vacation didn't last that long. Please see page B8 kte^w JflB fl^Etf^lH ?J H^B sp^*^ BSE.~.~?. **t^3l^mmS&S^^^ rcond nature.
Winston-Salem Chronicle (Winston-Salem, N.C.)
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Feb. 9, 1984, edition 1
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