FORUM I thought I would havo tho holiday Muoa Mica James Guest Columnist My maternal grandmoth er passed away close to Easter and, as death usually does, it created a new normal for me. Much of my life was consumed by her in recent years, and I became extreme ly anxious about what the holidays would be like with out her. For weeks, I had rehearsed my responses to those who may offer invitations to their homes for dinner. I prepared my son to do something we have never done before ... eat Thanksgiving dinner at K&W [caferteria]. He was actual ly excited about it but I am sure it made my grandmother turn in her grave. She was not going to be here to taste my desserts and tell me what she told me every year, "Baby, you did a good job. Don't stop baking." I was going to be able to dress normal because she was not going to be here to make me turn the heat up. 1 really just wanted to stay home to assure I had time and space to grieve. The saying goes, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." I ended up at my client's house caring for her while her daughter visited with family. Because those close to me know how important family is, they were shocked to learn I chose to work. I must admit, I was shocked myself, but I kept hearing my grandmother's voice singing, "Only what you do for Christ will last." As those words resounded, the anxiety dissipated and energy was infused. I became excited about baking items I only bake twice a year. 1 even rearranged my schedule to make sure everything was baked ahead of time to deliv er to my son's teachers, family and friends. I ultimately realized my grandmother prepared me for such a time as this. I was raised Seventh-Day Adventist and my family ate together EVERY Saturday after church. Even if I didn't attend church, the expectation was that I went to Momma's house to eat. Hors d'oevuers, main course, dessert, Russian tea and rolls, ALL HOMEMADE, were on a fully set table every week. Guest pastors, their families and anyone my grandmother decided to bring home were welcomed. In fact, when my grandparents added on to their house, they didn't expand the living quarters but rather the dining area because she loved cook ing and entertaining. I thought I would have the holiday blues, but I am thankful for the traditions my grandmother instilled. While she is sorely missed, a day or two out of the year will not overpower the years of memories I have with her and the rest of the family surrounded by food. The knowl edge, love and recipes shared around the table every Saturday have empowered me to begin my own holiday traditions. As I determine what those traditions are, I am remind ed and admonish you to remember: "Only what you do for Christ will last." Micha James is a freelance writer in Winston-Salem. She is also a proud alumna of Winston-Salem State University who is passionate about helping and empower ing others. She can be reached via michalavae@gmail com. White evangelicals are fading, powerful, baffling James A. Haught Guest Columnist Overwhelmingly, 81 percent of white evangeli cals voted for Donald Trump - a twice-divorced vulgarian who calls women "pigs" and "slobs," brags about extramarital affairs, and boasts of grabbing females by their private parts. He rarely attends church. Nonetheless, strong evangelical support propelled him to the White House. Can anyone explain this bizarre contradiction? Does it mean that evangel icals care little about sexu al morality and family val ues taught by their church es? Are they more devoted to Republican conserva tivism than to their church maxims? This paradox smacks of cognitive disso nance, the confusion suf fered when opposite beliefs clash inside a person. A few white evangeli cal Americans renounced Trump, but the vast major ity comprised his biggest fan base. I hope that a pro found scholar will explain what impelled fundamen talists in the 2016 election. The outcome showed that white evangelicals still wield enormous political power, even as they dwin dle in U.S. society. Many studies have outlined the retreat of religion. Here's a capsule summary: Since World War II, churchgoing has declined in America and many faith based laws have ended. It's no longer a crime for stores to open on the Sabbath. It's no longer illegal to buy a lottery tick et or a cocktail or a maga zine showing nudity. Mandatory prayer was removed from public schools. Desperate women and girls were allowed to end unwanted pregnancies. Gays were allowed to elude prison, and finally allowed to marry. Birth control was legalized for all couples. It's no longer a crime for unwed couples to live together. It's no longer a crime for movies and books to present sex. Teaching evolution is allowed in public school biology classes. These social transfor mations rebuked the "reli gious tight" allied with the GOP. White evangelicals feel that the ground is crumbling beneath them. Worse, young people are leaving churches. A new book, "The Ertd of White Christian America," by Robert Jones, head of the Public Religion Research Institute, says that Americans who say their religion is "none" have become the largest seg ment in the United States. They now constitute 25 percent of adults, com pared to 21 percent who are Catholic and 16 percent who are evangelical. The secular tide is sure to rise, because 39 percent of adults under 30 have no church affiliation. In a .Washington Post interview a few months ago, Jones said the retreat of faith has been "swift and dramatic" in recent decades, first eroding mainline "tall steeple" Protestants, then Catholics and finally evangelicals. Southern Baptists lost 200,000 members in 2014, then another 200,000 in 2015. A previous book, "The Great Evangelical Recession," by megachurch pastor John Dickerson, warned that "evangelicalism as we knew it in the 20th century is disintegrating." He said "a majority of young peo pie raised as evangelicals are quitting church," and "in coming years, we will see the old evangelicalism whimper and wane." Well, those forecasts may come true someday - but in 2016, white evangel icals decided the presiden cy. They still have colossal power. Strangely, they chose a president who contradicts evangelical morality. Trying to fathom America's religio-political tides is bewildering. James Haught, syndi cated by PeaceVoice, is editor emeritus of West Virginia's largest newspa per, The Charleston Gazette-Mail. Holiday meals can be healthy as well as satisfying Ramon P. T Jamas Guest Columnist Holiday meals can be healthy as well as satis fying We all know what November means: the beginning of the holidays. We had Thanksgiving; Christmas and New Year's are coming. Quality time with the family, office or school holiday parties and seasonal favorites - who can resist pumpkin pie and eggnog, right? The holiday season brings a wide mix of emotions and stress - both good and bad - and the temptation of nos talgic holiday treats can add yet another concent; holiday weight gain. While eating and merrymaking is both expected and encouraged during these special moments, excessive indulgence can lead to health issues later. This time of year doesn't have to be synonymous with weight gain, especially if you approach them with a sound game plan that addresses three important factors to gaining weight: nutrition, fitness and stress management. We've compiled a holiday eating game plan with strategies that can help you horn gaining those unwanted pounds. Before-eating tips ?Don't skip meals - especially break fast - in anticipation of eating larger holi day meals later on. Research shows people who eat a healthy breakfast tend to con sume fewer calories during the day. ?Have a pre-meal. Don't go to a holi day gathering on an empty stomach. Snack on fruits or vegetables before head ing out the door. This will give you a slight feeling of being full, which will help pre vent overeating later. ?Plan ahead. Have a plan for self-con trol, especially when it comes to your most tempting treats. Think ahead about the sights, sounds, aromas and feelings that trigger your personal patterns of overeat ing, and then make plans to combat these beforehand so they don't become over whelming. Practicing awareness and mindful eating helps reduce the potential for excessive indulgence. ?Manage stress. Healthline (http://www.healthline.com/health/holi day-stress-management-tips#l ) high lights five effective ways to manage stress during the holiday season. ?Go for healthier alternatives. Once you are in the game ?Stay hydrated. Sipping on a glass of cold water or ice throughout the event helps keep you feeling full and staves off the dehydration that comes from eating too many high-sugar, high-salt goodies. Dehydration can actually mimic hunger; tempting you to eat more when in reality, you're just thirsty. ?Practice portion control. It's nice to dig in to your favorite holiday treats. However, the extra effort required later to Photo Mytechref.com work off the calories ? or worse, the gaining of unwanted body fat from eating too much ? should be reminders for por tion control. So, eat what you want, just keep your portions reasonable, chew food slowly and keep return trips to a mini mum. ?Size matters! The bigger the plate you are eating from, the more food you are likely to eat. Use smaller plates at the buf fet line as they can help with portion con trol. ?Be Mindful. Eat food because you're hungry, not because it's there. Make a deliberate decision to control so-called recreational eating. Eat with your appetite, not with your eyes. Examine what's avail able, and then decide what you really want. ?Eat slowly. The stomach needs about 20 minutes to tell the brain that it's feeling full. But when food is gulped down, by the time the stomach sends its fullness signal to the brain, you've probably already eaten too much food and too many calories. Fill up your plate, eat slowly and then put the brakes on for a while so that your stomach can send its fullness signal to your brain. ?Veg out on veggies first. Filling up on healthy, low-calorie, high-fiber vegetables instead of high-fat, high-sugar, high-salt and high-caffeine treats will make you feel full without the drawbacks of dehydration, nervousness, weight gain and overeating. ?Share the holiday spirit - and your food. Save calories by splitting treats with another person. ?Enjoy yourself. They don't call it "the most wonderful time of the year" for noth ing! But rather than focusing on food, allow yourself to enjoy the personal rela tionships, meaning of the season, personal reflections, renewed spiritual dedication, holiday games, fun and memories you're blessed to have. ?Remember that healthy eating is only half the battle. You also need to stay phys ically active. Happy holidays! Ramon Paolo Llamas has worked in a variety of settings in the public health and healthcare fields since 2005. Ramon is currently a freelance consultant and blog ger based in Durham, NC. He writes for Men's Health Network. Connect with him via 1\vitter, ?RandomRPL, or on his web site, https://flipaswitchblog.wordpressjCom.