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NORTH-WESTERN NORTH CAROLTNA-WE LAQOR FOR ITS INTERESTS.
Six Months, $1.00.
VOLUME III.
WINSTON, FORSYTH COUNTY, N. C. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13, 188L
NUMBER 50.
LEADER.
One Year, $1.60. ; X '
is n-BLT-.Hrn evrrt TUESDAY rt
JAMES A. ROBINSON,
Ovner and JZdiior. -
Tub:crfptioa Teres la adTaaesr
"V.e copy, one yean' postage paid) , , , f. 90
One copy , m m.m. n , ...i,. u 1 oo
Jne coy, three months , 50
A rrns nwirV on your paper indicates that year
subset ii: ion has expired, or is due, aud jouanra
kprctfiiiiy soli' itcd to renew or remit..
.'oHiniunic.iti..i comainin items of local news are
re-iect'tilly solieiitil. . ,
"1 he editor will not be held responsible for views en
tcri .lined nd expressed by correspondent.
Advertising rracs made k iwwi upon application.
Winston Card.
EUGENE E. GRAY,
ATTORNEY-AT-LfiW,
WINSTON, K. C -
Opficb : Orcr Wachovia National Bank.
aprso-iy
W. T. VOGLER.
Practical Watchmaker and Jeweler.
Main St., Oh-ositk Msrciiakt' Horat.,
WINSTON, JC. C.
Ki'cp constantly- on hand Clocks, Watches, Jew
dry, ami Siivtr-plateJ ware of kinU.
KI-::CTACL1".S A SPF.CIALTY.
Kcpairi'iR r.f evfrj- description don promptly, and
a'' ir-i-J. tan u-'T.
H.S. FOY. I- J.W. FOr.
LIVERY1 STABLE.
H. S. FOY & BRO., Proprietors.
Main Street, "WINSTON, N. C.
We have a large number of fine Horses, Pnssteas,
Buggies, &c, and are prepared to furnish
FIEST-CLASS ACCOMODATIONS 10 ALL
Prompt attention :given and charges moderate.
iCWe have ample room and horse drovers can he
readily accommodated. Patronage of ail solicited.
1 00 GO
S3 ef
O-EEEITSBOIK), IT. C
SEYMTTOR STEELE, Itrop'r.
TERMS.
Ji.So PER DAY.
Large Sample rooms. Omnibus and baggage wagon
meets all trains. i
H. M. LANIER, with
Jones, McDuffee & Straton,
' iMrosmas of ajtd dbalkks if tub
POTTERY GLASS
Of all Countries, from Original sources?
ALSO. LAMP GOODS, CHANDELIERS.
TABLE CUTLERY, ETC. ,
51 to 69 Federal & 120 Franklin Sts.,
BOSTON. MASS.
JACOB TtSB.
C. M. TTS.
Jacob Tise& Co!,
East Side Ciurt Hotut Squar.
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
MERCHANTS.
We desire to return our thanks to our many c
era for their liberal support in the past, and hope
we wilt have their trade in 'the future.
Our Stock is complete, consisting of
DRY GOODS,
BOOTS AND SHOES,
HATSE-
Hardware,
Queens ware,
' of all kinds, all of which w. sell at the
very loweet prlow.
FURNITURE 1
We have been recWtal r??Ck
FURNITURE of aU grade, all
sell at the very bottom price aiwe do
not intend to be undersold.
Gie ns a trial before baying elsewhere.
Ecu. Fcrgei n w tt til fc.
April igth-jy.
XjOOKT SCiBXEEI I
If you want La Blanks.
If you wap: BaU Tickets.
if yo want Programmes,
If you want Letter Heads,
If you want Bottle Labels, ...
If you want Auction BUH,
If you want Calling rcU,
jf you want Address Cards,
If you want Check Books,
If you want Shipping" Jags,
If you want Business Cartas,
If you want Caution Notice..
iVyUwantWedtorCard
if vou want Invitatlcm Cards.
Yc want Business
f IlSt lob Prmtina;of any deserfption.
II you wanv titSuto maaaar. T
i r o -
. o
5 'ft 1 1st
sv i i n3 4,
g -EH 4 ?J
i rH g .a g g
b w SSI
" A Hymn for Farmers.
. be following hrmn, written for t he ooeav
lon by Mr. John O. Whlttler, was rang to
the) tone ofAuld Lang Syne," at the banquet
m ins American tionioaiiarsi ote)i.jrt "
Boston, a few weeks ago. I
O painter of the fruits and! flower,
We awn thy wise design!
Whereby these ha man hands of oar
Kay sbswe the work of Una. I
Apart fram thee we plantn Tain !
The root and sow the seed : ;
Thy early and thy later sain, 1
Thy san and dew we need. '
Our toll la sweet with thaslkfalneaa, -
Our burdrn Is our boon .
The earn of earth'a gray morning Is
The blessing of Its noon j :
Why search the wide world everywhere
For Eden's unknown ground t
That garden of the prlmaj pair
May never more be found.
Bat, blest by thee, our patient toll
Car right the ancient wong.
And give to every ollme and soil
The beauty lost ao long. 1 1
Onr homestead flowers and ft-ulted trees
May Kdea's orehard shaine ;
We taste the tempting sweets of these
Like Eve, without her bl
ijlame:
east a
And north and Bouth and east and west,
The pride of every sone, j-1 ;
The fairest, rarest, and the beat
May all be made our own.
Its earliest shrines the yoking world sought
In hill-grove and In bowers ;:
The Attest offerings thither brought
Were Ttoy own f rulte and flowers.
And still with reverent hands we cull
Thy gifts, each year renewed ;
The good Is always beautiful.
The beautiful is good.
1 i
The False
Guardian.
Just after the elose bf the Amerie&n
Revolution, . James Tudor, a young
hip exirpenter, of B:tbn, sailed on
board the Orient, a n iw and staunch
built ship, bound for Smyrna, at that
time the largest aad wealthiest city of
Levant. After the usual! tedimm and
want of variety incidental to so long
a voyage, the Orient
arrived safely at
that port and unshipped her anchor.
The next morn In gJ
just as the cap-
tarn's gig was being
owered for the
accommodation of that officer and the
supercargo, who werej then preparing
to go on shore to report to the British
oonsul and pay their respects to Mr.
Tracey, the American- merohant, to
whom they bore letters of introduc
tion and credit from Gray, Tollbitts fc
Co., the great importing house at
home, they perceived a small row-boat
rapidly approaching the ship, and
containing two ' persons 'a man who
was vigorously rowirrj, and one soli
tary female ngvre. I ' : !
When the boat came alongside, the
boatman promptly assisted the lady
on board, oomewnat wnaiy, dui
heiitatingly, she Inquired for tne cap
tain, who, in company with the super
cargo, was pointed out to her.
She was vountr and ntettv. in fact.
almost . childlike, and : seemed, from
her wild, scared lcoK, to ! be laboring
under some deep anxiety or fear.
She was- dressed in garments of the
richest material, .though seemingly
thrown on in hast and with the
greatest negligence. 1 1 f
She approached the captain and in
a flurried nervous way inquired if she
mlrht speak with him a moment
alone.
He answered in the
affirmative, and
drawing her aside out of hearing of
his companions; patiently prepared to
listen ; for the pudden .ap'iearance
of
the strange young
Woman on board
his ship at so early an
hour In the morn-
ing had greatly excited his curiosity.
Will you excuse me, 7 she began
timidly, but are you a single or mar
ried man ?" J
Captain Ward
glanced at the
questioner curiously
! Indeed it was a
a young woman
peculiar question for
to ask of him, a perfect stranger.
But
good
he answered her with i perfect
breeding and politeness
Yes, he was
a married man.
Ths wraino lurlo- lrt.Vri r1iHn.rToiiited
but presently recovered.
"Is there any gentleman on board
vour shiD who is not married, and
whom you think would, like to marry
rich young girl
ithin the hour,
and ask no question
? I will say that
she has been deeply
rorged and per-
...nlAil Knf fa n ATA
heless highly re-
nectable and virtuous.: thousrh she
can only claim her pjroperty by clearly.
tNJUkDllBttlug ute iaui ui a iraj iuu-
riage." ; j i ( :
"Both my mates are married," said
the ciptain, I "and the supercargo is
engaged to a young Oady in Boston, to
whom I understand he will be married
on our return. But noia," he aaaea,
reflectively, "there is our carpenter,
James Tudor, a fine looking, gentle
manly young fellow as one might
wl-h to see, and is unmarried. In
fact he is much more of a gentleman
iu
his ways and m
nners than any of
US.
If we except Mr.
wley, yonder, the
SlltAVAMri "
Caii I see himl
?" i inquired
the
strange young lady,)
eagerly.
"Oh, certalply,
iss, I will emm-
mon him directly." j
And James Tudjor. the sprightly
!
and handsome young carpenter, was
sent for, and one promptly aft where
Captain Ward ani his: mysterious
visitor was stand in gJ j .
It was evident at a j glance that
Tudor had made at first sight, a favor
able impression up n the young lady.
Captain Ward therefore excused
himself to the lady , and after leaving
her alone with Tud y?t rejoined Owley,
when the two ohor ly after took their
eat in ihe gig, andj were pulled ashore
by four seamen in waiting.
At the awkward Intoduction of the
captain the carpenter touched his tr-
n.nlfn rHf al v mn ti n'tmAa S InW ind
rmm j v.... , mvam r 1 -- -
grateful bow, wblcn went far toward
captivating the heart of the young
lady.
"Pwax sir," sks
said, .lashing and
trembling visibly ; "I have what may
appear a very unmaidenJy proposal to
make. There is a wealthy young
lady, in whose service and interest I
' am now employed, who cannot obtain
poceeeslom of her rights exoepUag by
marriage, as a proviso to that effect
was unfortunately embodied ' in her
father's will.
"Her. uncle 'was appointed her
guardian, and, taking advantage of
the situation, has since attempted to
make a traffic of her hand, by marry
ing her to a wretch whom she loathes,
in consideration of his yielding up to
him one-half of the property, which
amounts, I am told, to over fifty thou
sand pounds sterling. It is now the
earnest wi-h of this young lady to
marry some one else, and thus defeat
her unprincipled guardian, who has
been to her, since her father's death,
a most unmerciful tyrant. , She is
pretty and amiable, and I have every
reason to believe, would devotedly
love her husband. And now I come
to the most difficult part of my mission.
Will- you, a stranger from a foreign
shore, take pity on her hopeless, oondi-J
tion and marry her? The moment you
are married she will make over to you
her entire fortune."
"I will marry her,'.' said James
Tudor, "if for nothing more than to
spite her tyrant, but I will not be so
mercenary as to exact her fortune for
so slight a service."
"Come, then, my boat awaits you;
let there be no delay ; said the youug
lady, greatly overjoyed by his ready
answer. "You need make no altera
tion in your, toilet, as I am supplied
with ample means', and have beeu
authorized to procure for you the most
costly garments to be found in the
market."
Hardly knowing how the adventure
was likely to end, Tudor followed the
strange young lady into her boat, and
they were speedily landed at the
market wharf. '
She hailed a eab and the two en
tered it. They were driven to a locality
mentioned by the young lady, where
our young American enjoyed the de
lightful luxury of a Turkish bath,
which left his naturally clear skin as
pure and white as an infant's.
Their next step was to visit one of
the most fashionable English cloth
iers in the city, where Tudor, at the
urgent solicitation of the young lady,
secured the richest and most expen
sive outfit in the establishment.
The proprietor himself assisted
young Tudor in the arrangement of
his toilet, and when onee attired in the
elegant and costly habiliments, a
finer-looking young gentleman could
not have been met in the city of
Smyrna.
He was tolerably well educated, too;
well read, with a great flow of lan
guage at his command, picked up
from the works of Steele, Addison,
and others, with whom in his leisure
hours he had made himself thoroughly
conversant, added to which he was
naturally possessed of easy, graceful,
and winning manners.
When his toilet was complete he
glanced admiringly into the full
length mirror before him, and was
then ushered into the presence of the
young lady by the gratified proprietor.
She looked at him in a half-bewildered
way, as though she were, in
some doubt of his identity, and then
her eager face was suddenly over
spread with a genuine blush of nleas
ure; and taking his arm they re
entered the cab, which was still in
waiting, and were driven directly to
the residence of an Episcopal clergy
man, the address of whom had been
previously given by the young lady.
On alighting from the close cab
they were ushered into the parlor
where they were presently joined by
the clergyman.
"You must speak to him," whispered
the young lady, blushing crimson,
"for as you may have guessed, I am
to be the bride if you de not object to
me."
"Nay, on the contrary," whispered
Tudor his face glowing with manly
pleasure, "I aoa overjoyed to hear that
it is yon. But please tell me by what
name I am to introduce you ?"
' "Susan Fa' er," whispered his
fiancee, smiling through her blushes.
The young American promptly ac
cepted his cue, and proceeded with a
graceful introduction of the young
lady, as well as the purpose for which
he had called. ,
The clergyman bowed and with
drew, but presently reappeared with
his wife and two. daughters as wit
nesses. :
When the interesting ceremony was
over they again entered .the cab, and
were driven to the residence of the
British Consul, before whom the new
made bride made a clear statement of
the facts. ' M "
As good fortune would have It, Cap
tain Ward and Supercargo Owley ar
rived just as she had concluded, and
both readily vouched for the responsi
ble and geatlemanly character of
Jam? s Tudor, the bridegroom, and a
messenger was immediately dispatoh
ed for the false guardian.
When he arrived and saw how mat
ters stood he ground his teeth in sup
pressed rare, but wisely declined to
test the validity of the marri' ge.
He relinquished on the spot all fur
ther claims as guardian of his niece,
and at the request of the consul, made
out a hurried schedule of the property
then under his control belonging to
the aforesaid niece, .Mrs. Tudor.
A fortnight later, and the happy
bride came into lawful por session of
the JC50.000 left by her father, and on
the subsequent return of her husband
to Boston, where with the money thus
reoeivwd-waa. purchased the wharf
which bwars their family name to this
7.
Cock-fighting in Cuba.
A correspondent writes:-"Vhile the
Spaniards qf the mother country find
their pleasure in bull-fighting, the in
habitants of Cuba still delight in what
was once the "good old English" sport
of cock-fighting and the valla as: gal Ins
(cook-pit) is always full when a com
bat is announced to take place. The
cock-pit itself, around which are two
rows of raised seats, Is about three feet
in diametev , and the cocks which are
going to fight are all marked and num
bered beforehand, the key s of the cages
in which they are placed being handed
to the senior of the judges, who lays
them on the table so that there may be
no suspicion of fraud. This is the
more necessary, as heavy bets are de
pendent on the result, and attempts
are often made to substitute a bad bird
for a good one by those who have wa
gered against him. The noise and
clatter as the time for the fight ap
proaches are indescribable, the vendors
of refreshments and the betting men
making a tremendous tumult ; while,
when the two cocks enter the arena,
which has been carefully raked and
sprinkled with sawdust, one hears such
cries as "Fifty pesetas on the English
bird," "I will bet you six" ounces (of
gold)." "Done." Then a man will
rush and offer "Two to one on the Chi
nese," or "Five to four on the Espan
tago,"asthe casemay.be. Grandees
and Democrats, planters and negroes
(the latter only admitted in the even
ing), functionaries and beggars, meet
as used to be the case at English
prize-fights upon equal terms ;
but all the noise is hushed as if by
magic when the president makes a
sign for the fight to begin. There i
no need of giving a detailed descrip
tion of the fight which is conducted
very much according to the old Eng
lish custom, their ownexs stirring them
up to the contest by putting them at
each other, beforehand. When they
have fought so long that they fall to
the ground exhausted, without victory
having been declared for either side,
one of the two owners counts aloud up
to ten, while the other yells at them
and calls them "oowards" and "good
for nothings." If this is of no effect
their owners suck out their wounds
and pour into them spiced brandy.
This done, they are put upon their
feet again, and, agonized by pain, find
strength enough to renew the battle.
If this fails one of the ewners counts
up to forty, and if at the expiration of
this only one of the cocks has come to
the scratch he is proclaimed the con
queror. The great festivals of the
church are always accompanied by
cock-fights, notably at Easter, or on
saints' day, when it is the eustoui for
ladies to attend them. Upon these oc-
asions the respective owners adopt
colors and choose a representative
from among the girls who are present.
The young lady who has the colors of
the victorious cock, is proclaimed
queen for the rest of the afternoon, and
for the ball which follows.
A Miniature Electric Lamp.
Tive Hundred-Candle Power ia the' Area fo
a Half Dime.
Mr. Edison has just completed and
transmitted to Prof F. G. Fairfield,
of the New York College of Veteri
nary Surgeons, an electric lamp which
has the novelty of being probably the
most minute ever constructed. The
electrodes, or carbon points, are only
one-tenth of an inch in diameter, the
object being to obtain the high eat at
talnable intensity within the smallest
possible space. It requires a battery
of about forty cells. The flame will
not exceed the dimensions of a silver
five-cent piece, but will concentrate
within this limited area the power of
five-hundred candles.. The conduct-"
ors are scarcely larger then a hair, and
the electrodes are adjusted by means
of a delijate screw movement, capable
of altering the distance of their points
from each other one ten-thousandth of
an inch, if necessary. The instrument
was made to illuminate a microscopic
objective, constructed upon the newly
discovered law of homologous sections.
This lens renders it possible to obtain
a power of sixty million diameters.
At such a power only a section of a
colored corpuscle of human blood can
be viewed at a time. Computing the
molecule of living matter to be about
a twenty-millionth of an inch in di
ameter, Prof. Fairfield believes it pos
sible to project the image of it upon a
screen with the help of the lamp, and
to take photographs showing themole-
rfeular constitution of such complex
rbodies as albumen.
Two Affectionate Rivals.
There were several men clustered
around the stove in the back room of a
Galveston saloon, and some how or
other the subject of newspapers came
up for discussion. One man said that
editors were more jealous of each other
than any other class ; that they never
had a good word for each other, etc.
A long-haired youth with a solemn
look, spoke up, and, heaving a sigh said
he had had some experience with edi
tors and he found them the reverse of
jealous of each other ; that a Texas edi
tor was always willing to deny himself
comforts for the benefit, of a brother
editor.
"Where did that happen ?"
' "It happened in a western Texas
town where I lived," sighed theyoung
man.
"I had dsshed off a little poem often
or fifteen stanzas about 'Beautiful
Spring.' There were two rival papers'
in the place the Bugle and the Trom
bone. I had heard that the editors
were deadly enemies and sighed to shed
eaah hr's .ror, and I was afraid
that, if T lf fha TVvmmAmw mi hilar) m v
nop.m first there would be a deadlv en-H
counter. .'!.:
"I finally resolved to have it appear
simultaneously in both papers, When
I called on the editor of the Trombone
he said the editor of the Bugle had a
large family, and that he would pre
fer it would appear' in the Bugle, as
personally he loved the editor of the
Bugle. I went then to the Bugle man,
s ad he said the editor of the Trombone
was his warmest personal friend, and
that he would be' glad if I Would let
him have the poem, as it would be
putting bread in his mouth and clothes
on his back. ;
"So, owing to ihe love those two ed
itors had for each, other, I couldn't get
my poem into either of their papers,
and it hasn't been published yet. I
never saw men so anxious to help each
other out of distress," and once more
the long-haired poet sighed like a bel
lows. . : . . j ' .'. 1
There was a pause, and the old man
with a frost bitten nose drawled out ; .
"Yer never tried them same editors
with a cash advertisement did yer ?"
The poet answered in the negative
whereat the audience significantly
nodded . their heads and winked at
each other. ;
Home Again
And mighty glad to get there.
, Glad to get to a spot where your b d
room is big enough to turn a double
hand-spring in without landing two
thirds out of the window.
Glad to find a bed where the foot
board is a few inohes below your feet
instead of a few inches above' your
knee, naking it necessary to sleep in
an uncomfortable, ; half open, jack
knife attitude.
Glad to get a drink of water that
isn't so saturated with "healing min
erals" that it tastes like a rusty lamp
post on a frosty morning. Glad you
haven't got to swear Jht such stuff
"does you good.' ,:
Glad to abandon the nonseasical
conventionalities' of "resort" life, and
lift your feet to the mantelpiece in the
American fashion, and feel social and
free. - ' . ;:
Glad to get a square meal into your
system garnished with simply the
provision dealer's profits ; a meal that
you feel sure you can afford to eat
Glad to see your wife and family
around your own table and hearth
stone.; They look better and feel more
clo ely related to you than they do
promenading the, verandas of a hotel
with strangers.
Glad to "slosh" around in your own
bath-tub, where . there Is no deathly
fear of an "undertow." ,
Glad somebody can speak to you
and answer a civil question without
'charging "fifty cents all around."
Glad it isn't necessary to lie to stran
gers about your extensive business and
your establishment. You can't fool
people that have known you from a
boy Hp, so you don't have to try.
Glad you had money enough to get
home after your j hotel bills were paid.
This is cause for proclamation of a day
of thanksgiving" and' prayer.
Glad you now have a chance to
growl and find fault in true home-like
fashion, without being deterred by the
presence of a scornful world.
Glad that you. can roam into every
room of the house at your own sweet
will, although the bver-weening curi
osity you bad while on your vacation
deserts you; 1
Glad to meet j your friends on the
street once more, and surprised that
they didn't know you had been away.
Glad to see the dog, glad to. see the
cat, glad to see the servant girl.
Home again, i And you inwardly
vow that you will let the tendrils of
your affections so cling around your
own. vine and fig! tree that you will
never desert its comforts again, never,
never. But in less than three months,
guide-books and ."resort" literature
will begin to flood your post-office box,
and you'll find yourself planning just
such another lay out for next summer.
The nomadic instincts of human na
ture will not "down" after they have
been once . gratified, -r- New Haven
Register.
Exploring Hudson Bay.
Prof. Bell, who has spent five years
in exploring the Hudson bay, gives, in
glorious terms, an account of his wan
derings in and about the great body of
waters, which, in hie enthusiasm, he
designates the Canadian Mediterra
nean. ' He slates that Hudson Bay is
in effect one thousand miles long,
more than six-hundred miles wide
and, covers one million square miles.
Instead of being, as is usually suppos
ed, a part of the Arctic regions, the
nearest shore is more southerly than
London, and its farthest, still remains
within the Temperate zone. On the
northeast coast there is little snow In
winter and little rain in summer. The
tributaries of the bay are the Nelson
which discharges pie water of Lake
Winnipeg; the Winnipeg, about the
size of the Ottawa; the Saskatchewan,
nine-hundred mile long, pouring in
from the west, and the Bed river',
coming over five-hundred miles from
the south. I. ; j
: All the centra part of North Amer
ica, from Labrador to the . Rocky
mountains, drains into Hudson bay.
The largest tributary is the Nelson,
about four times the size of the Ottawa,
at the capital; then comes the
Churchill, the Big river and the Al
bany. On the we3t side of the bay the
southerly winds are the coldest that
blow in the winter, and there is less
snow and less intense cold in the vicin
ity of York Factory and Fort Churchill
than in more southerly regions. Dar
ing winter the temptratara improves
as one goes from Minnesota northward
through Manitoba, and down the val
leys to Hudson bay, and bathing is
found agreeable in July, August and
September. On the southern and west
ern shores unlimited supplies of red
and white pine, spruce, white birch,
balsam, poplar, aspen and tamfarao
are found.
Odds and .Ends.
Mirrors nhould never be hung where
the sn shines directly upon them.
They soon look misty, grow rough
and granulated, and no longer give
back a correct picture. The amal
gam, er union of tin foil with mer
cury, which is spread on glas to form
a looking glass, Is easily ruined by
direct, continued exposure to the solar
rays. : S
Theodore Hook once called upon an
old lady,! who pressed him so urgently
to stay s!nd -dine with her that, aaThe
had no ! engagement, he could net
refuse. On sitting down, the servant
uncovered a dish which contained
two mutton chops; and the hostess
said : "Mr; Hook, you see your din
ner." "Thank you, ma'am," said he ;
"but where is yours ?"
The correspondent of an English
paper writes: "I have a canary that
di-ginctly articulates phrases and sen
tences. I have always regarded my
bird as a great rarity, but not an an
absolute exception. I can not but
think that more canaries would mani
fest the talking faculty (which probably
is latent in them all), if more attention
were given to them. My bird hs
always been treated as a member of
the family ; there being no children
in our house, he has been attended to
and cared for as a child."
Dr. D.i G. F. Maodonald writes to
the Lon don Dai iy Telegraph . " Th e
phenomenon known as tbe harvest
moon is altogether independent of the
harvest and of terrestrial latitude and
longitudel The nearest full moon to
the autumn! equinox, when the sun
is in Libra, is the proper harvest
moon. She then rises sooner after
sunsetting than at. any other period of
the year, ! and nearly at the same time
for days together, occasioning a num
ber of brilliant moonlight nights. The
so-called hunter's moon is the imme
diately succeeding one."
There is nothing new under the
sun especially in the matter of jokes.
Mark Twain has an anecdote of a
Scotchman who enters an eating house
on Holbom Hill and calls for a penny
loaf. Then he says he has changed
his mind, and that he will have a
pennyworth of beer instead. This pro
cess he repeats twelve times, and he is
then going on his way, rejoicing and
full of beer, when the oookshop keeper
demands I payment for his beer. "I
gave you a penny loaf for each mug of
beer," answers the canny Scot. "But
you have not paid for the loaves,"
continues the ineensed Boniface. "But
I had them not," replies the Scot.
This storyf is to . be found in an old
cheap book published late in the seven
teenth century ; and it is very proba
bly a survival of Home incdiseval joke
current among the schoolmen, since
its humor hinges on a false premise in
logic. 7 .
Yesterday morning a man with a
load of fowls, couatry produce, etc.,
stopped in front of the house of a
prominent citizen, and the good wife
came out to inspeet the display.
"Guess I'll take those two wild ducks
for to-morrow's dinner." "Guess you'd
better take something else, madam,"
said the t produce man. "I met your
husband 'on the. road this morning
with a wagon, two horses,, three dogs,
and a hundred rounds of catridges,
making for a big duck slough." "Oh,
indeed ! The poor man !" replied the
lady. "You had better give me four
ducks. He may want some when he
gets home."
The testimony of experts of all
kinds is to be taken with great cau
tion, and experience is diminishing
rather than increasing confidence in
it. "'A Cabinet Minister was once com
menting on a very strong despatch in
the presence of his sovereign. "The
language is strong," said the states
man, "but the writer does not mean
it; he is1 irresolute." "Whence do
you sec : irresolution ?" asked the
king. "In the n's ' and g's, please
your majesty." Only it is to be said
that a great deal of humbug is often
talked by people who profess to be
judges of handwriting. I showed a
professor of caligraphy a letter which
I had received. He took a very un
favorable ' view of the handwriting.
It was the handwriting of a man with
out learning, without genius, without
feeling. "And now, sir," I said,
"will you look at the signature?"
The letter was written by Lord Maeau
lay. Miss Aunie Louise Cab? has sold
her house in Portland, Maine,
will hereafter, it ia said, live in New
York. t
. . t
"The first American flag used by
citizens of California is still in exist
ence. The people made it themselves,
and had to buy a seaman's shirt in or
der to get the blue.
By saving all the seams and hems
and coarse pieces of cloth that are not
suitable for a jag carpet, when you are"
making one, and braiding sewing to
gether, a nicerugcanbe made. -The
rags are prepared the same as for a car
pet and knit on wooden needles about
as large as a lead pencil, eight or ten
inches long ; knit a square centre, and
knit stripes of various colore, and sew
around it until it is aa large as ycu
wish. ' ... -
Gold Is, in its last analysis, the
sweat of jjthe poor and the blood of the
beats j
Won at Last.
"So you wish to marry my daugh
ter?" These words were uttered by a man
who fairly hissed them through his
teeth as he stood, with a cruel sueer
on his lips, in front of a young man,
the nervous twitchingsof whose clear
cut features .told more plainly than
could any words, however freely inter
spersed with adjectives, the ton are he
was suffering.
"Yes, sir," said Herbert MjFntosh,
looking up into the face of him who
had spoken. "I love Myrtle with a
rich, warm, tempestuous love that
recks not of obstacles, but sweeps away
like a mighty avalanche the difference
in social position that exists between
ns. My passion is a deathless one,
that, like the mighty simoon of the
desert, gathers force with every in
stant of Its existence, and stills alike
with its hot breath the life of man and'
beast. . I know that appearances are
against me. I am poor and honest,
and last Saturday night I had a king
full beaten at the Owl Club, but I can
not conceal my love. You are rich
and successful, and I can see from the
window of my little room In which I
work, the high walls of your packing
house, and hear the plaintive cry of
the stricken pig who has his interior
soooped out and is cut into hams and
clear sides, before the echo of the
death shriek has ceased to linger in the
musk-laden air of the stock yards.
You are living under torquoise-tinted
skies, while I am in great luck to have
a sky at all. It is net my fault that
you are rich ; I : love your daughter,
and she returns my. love;" and saying
this Herbert looked anxiously in the
direction of the window, his breast
giving a great throb of joy as he saw
that the blinds were closed, and the
old.man coufd not throw him out.
"Hark ye, my lad," said the pork
packer, with a cold, skating-rink
smile hovering o'er his face, "you say
you love mjr daughter, and would win
her for your bride. So be It. I have
naught against thee save thy poverty.
Come to me within a month with
flOfO gained by thine own industry
and skill, and Myrtle shall be your
wife. .If you fail in this her hand is
given to a friend of mine who owns a
glucose factory."
"But you would cot force her to
marry against her will," said Herbert.
"She has plighted her troth to me.-"
"I know not of your childish vaga
ries," replied the eld man. "I have
said my say. In three minutes I shall
untie the bulldog." .
Herbert went away.
'
Midnight on Wabash avenue.
Five men are seated around a table
with a hole in the centre of it. Herbert
is in the party, and opposite him aits
his hated rival, the man who owns an
interest in a glucose factory. Herbert
is dealing. Herbert looks at hia cards
and bets f 100.
"Five hundred," says the glucose
man.
"A thousand," says Herbert, re-tob-ing
into his pocket as if for money . ,
"Oh, never mind getting out your
roll until the hands are played," said
the glucose man. "I will be easy
with you, and only all. I have four
aces."
"Straight flush," said Herbert, in
low, bitter tones, as he laid the cards
on the table and pocketed a $1000 bill
which bis adversary threw acros to
him.
The next night Herbert and Myrtle
occupied one chairin the parlor of tbe
pork packer's residence. :
"We will be married in the fall, my
sweet, "she said, in soft, low tones, kiss
ing him passionately as she spoke.
?Ye8, Tcotie," he murmured; "in
the fall. We can live with your folks
next winter."
Japanese Carp.
The Emperor of Japan has been
making quite lately an official tour
through his realms, and on the occa
sion of his arrival at a village, Otsu
mura by name, he was presented with
three large car for his special eating,
which fish the chronicler of the impe
rial travels declares to have been three
feet in length. The wonderful things
the Japanese do with their fish we can
scarcely understand. It seems as If
carp are among the most ancient of
Japanese fish, and have be; n preserved
by them from time immemorial.
Home recent travelers tell marvellous
stories as to the age and size of tbe
ciprinoides, which are kept in hwly
precincts. It looks as if the carp,
since it has received its impulse in the
United States, will make the circuit of
the world. Fature biologists will not
have to. speculate, as does Mr. Wal
lace, on the migration of animals, de
ducting their movements from many
different sources', for the man of to
day, like Noah of old, carries his dumb
friends along with him. Recently it
was noted that some of the carp raided
in the United Stales Fish Commiesion
had been carried to Ecuador. Tbe re
sult has been perfectly successful.
Though the and journey over the
mountains extended for many days,
and the small fish had been carried in
tin vessels on the backs of porters, the
little c rp were placed in t he beet pos
sible condition by an enterprising
South American gentleman in a pleas
ant pond on the very heart of the An
des. This performance in fish culture
far exceeds that undertaken by the
English in New Zealand with trmit.
The son cf a clergyman in Rich
mond, Macs., received as a wedding
present a very valuable suit. It was
a breach of promise suit for foOOo.
Oh, won't he have ntsvl
Sunshine.
, From an aoorn weighing a few
grains a tree will grow for a hundred
i years or more, not only throwing cfl
) many pounds of leaves each year, tut
; itself weighing several tons. If an
orange twig is put In a lure box of
I earth, and that earth is weighed, when
i the twig becomes a tree, bearing lu3
i clous fruit, there will be very nearly
; the same amount of earth. From csre
( ful experiments made by different sci
i en tine men, It is an ascertained fact
that a very large part of the growth cf
a tree is derived from the san, from
the air, and from the water, and very
little from the earth ; and, notably, ail
vegetation becomes sickly, unlef s it is
freely exposed to the sunshine. Woo i
and coal arc but condensed sunshine,
which contains three important ele
ments, equally essential to both vege
table and animal life magnesia, linis
and iron. It is the iron in the tloci
which gives the durability ntcessary
to bodily vigor, while, the magnesia Li
Important to many of the tissues. Trus
it Is, that the more persons are out cf
doors, the more healthy and more vig
orous they are, and thelonger will they
live. Every human being ouht to
have an hour or two of sunshine at
noon in winter, and in the early fore
noon tn summer. HIVm Medical Ad
vter. English as the Universal
'Language.
We gleau from London Truth the
following item, which we are sure our
cultivated readers will agree with us
as furuUhing one among the pertinent
proofs that intelligent thinkers every
now and then eome across which go
to show the "manifest destiny" of
spoken English, and the ultimate es
tablishment of the "Greater Britain"
which Sir Chartos Dilkey wrote about.
English the Tslegrsphis Tongne.
Although the English language is
the most absurdly spelled tengue in
the world it permits much more terse
composition than any ether, and tele
graph clerks have specially noted that
English telegrams as a rule, contain
feweg words than those expressing the
same ideas in any other language. I
was reminded of this subject the other
day by noticing the directions for an
electric bell In my room in a foreign
hotel. They were printed in'French,
German and English, viz :
On eat prlede ponaser le bouton 'jusqn'au
fond.
Man let gebeten den knopf ho vlel all
moglick suruokcustowen.
Please press the button to the bottom.
There are ten words each in the
French and German to seven in the
Englirh., The number of letters ia
thirty-seven, fifty-two and thirty-one,
respectively. The note at the foot of
the bill of fare was similarly interest
ing: On re met la note cheque Jour su control
des voyageurs.
Una I itu n gen zu vermeldrn, wlrd tagllch
die Belchnung sur Controls vorgelegt.
Bills are given dally to avoid errors.
Here again we have ten, eleven, and
seven words with forty-five, sixty
three and thirty-one letters, respect
ively. Another common "notice"
affords corroborating evidence of the
preceediDg" examples of superior ter?
news of our venacular :
On est pre de ne pas f umer.
Es wlrd gebeten nlcht ru rauchen.
Please do not smoke.
Here we have seven and six wcrJj
to four, .with twenty-two, twenty
seven and sixteen letters respectively.
A Small Boy's Wandering
Thoughts.
A good mother, whose Ave year-el J
boy ia exceptionally conscientious and
devout, has often been smitten with a
pang of apprehension lest her d&rlic z
might be too good for this worii.
The thought came into her mind tls
other day, when her head was by the
side of her child's at church in prayer
time; but this pain was quickly ban
ished by a very different feeling whn
the little boy said to her in a low wLIj
per : "Mamma, can't I go to the cir
cus to-morrow? There's going to Is
a horse oh stilts." On a quiet answer
from the mother the child returned to
his devotions. And what does th'
story show? That the, child was hu
man ; but not that his Apparent devo
tion was deceit or delusion. The little
boy's noind wandered in his prayer at
the minus of some grown people do,
and he spoke out his thought, n
grown people genera' ly do not.
This is Fame.
"Good gracious!" asked the profes
sional, "why do yoa, a prosperous
business man, the father of a fa.nii!j
and the main stay cf a church, c! .lib
era tely come to me and want to lta.rn
all the tricks of poker playing? IX
you mean to throw sway your rer; t it
ability and become a gamb'ex?"
"No," said the merchant; "no; I
don't mean to become a garullcr;
but I'm going to visit LouJsvills, tzl
I'd as soon go to Texas without a
plttpl as to Louisville without a
knowledge of poker." Bomton I'nt.
"It Is all done !" remarked a brida eI
the end of the marriage ceremony,
with a sigh of relief. "No," whis
pered the officiating minister, "It hut
just- begun." Recently converted
per sous, if very happy, are sometime
tempted to make the bride's mL.tak.
A renovated and reconstructed Pres
byterian church announce thrcjb
its friends in a religious journal that,
"with a new minister and a new !; -organ,
a larger attendance is secure I,
and the solemn truths of revdx'J:
arc presented and reoeived with c
uaxal carncatnscs." .
It