Newspapers / The Charlotte Post (Charlotte, … / Oct. 21, 1993, edition 1 / Page 7
Part of The Charlotte Post (Charlotte, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
Cftatlottc^ost CHARLES FAULKNER Children also ^ carry burden of stress "Children sure do have It easy. They can live at home and relax. Only adults have to carry the heavy burden of destructive stress." This is one of the most Inac curate statements that I have ever heard. The exact oppo site is true. Children live in stress from the very moment they are bom. One of the things that makes their stress so horrible is that adults don't think that chil dren have stress. So, they don't do anything to alleviate the child's stress. In fact, adults pile more and more stress on the child each day. What causes children to have stress? The answer is obvious: Children have enor mous stress because of the pressure that parents put on them to be perfect. 'You're Just a child. You can't make decisions for yourself. You'd better do everything that I tell you to do. (And), You had better not make a mistake." Some parents even threaten the child with extreme physi cal abuse. Other parents take out their own frustrations and stress on the child by turning the child into a punching bag. Teachers Impose constant psychological stress on the child by throwing each child into competition with one another and by making the child think that falling a test is the end of the world. The pressure sparked by the fear of failure is so overwhelming that it makes serious study ing impossible. The stress destroj^ the child's memory, motivation, concentration, and often, his/her health. Yet, the parent says, "My child sure does have It easy." We haven't yet said a word about peer pressure. If the child doesn't get one of the best grades on every exam, the other students often ridi cule him/her. The child feels the need to be the best at everything. Yet, this is unre alistic. No one is outstanding at everything. This pressure from parents, teachers, fellow students, friends and associates is un ending. It is the constant companion of the child, prac tically throughout his/her life. 7A THURSDAY October-21.1993 Responsibility urged in workshops on sex By Cassandra Wynn THE CHARLOTTE POST Michael Rorle, 17, has big plans. He will graduate from Garinger High School this spring. He has been ac cepted at N.C. A&T State University in Greensboro and wants to major in ar chitecture engineering. Michael realizes that a bad decision right now could min those plans. Like most boys his age, he has to confront Issues concerning sexuality all the time. "It's scary," Michael ad mitted. "The pregnancy part. I'm not ready to have a baby. That's in the back of your mind. You think about things like if you do this, is she going to get pregnant and ^1 you end up being a deadbeat dad. Or am I going to be a responsible adult?" It may be peer pressure or just the hormones kicking in. No matter what they've been taught at home, con fronting their sexuality is something that most teen agers have to do. The Male's Place, a pro gram of the Mecklenburg County Health Department, is designed to help young men like Michael make wise and responsible choic es when It comes to sex. 'The bottom line Is to pro mote male sexual responsi bility and involvement." said Reggie Singleton, The Male's Place coordinator. "All the emphasis on re sponsibility Is placed on fe males and the guys have been left out of the loop and not held accountable. If we are to have an Impact on teen pregnancy, we have to involve men and expect more responsibility across the board." In his seminars on sexu ality, Singleton tells youngsters, "If you choose not to be abstinent, then you should be responsible." Michael has attended workshops and Singleton's message has been pounded into Michael's head: "When you become a father early, chances are that you may drop out of school, with no skills and limited options. It puts you in a rotten posi tion." But sex has always been an all-too-delicate subject. "Guys are embarrassed to talk about sex," Michael said. "They are worried about being pressured by parents if they talk to them. Their moms might start watching their phone calls and sweating them." Clearing up the myths r't ,1. •%-s|Sharonda CUnkscales, 13, and Michael Rorie, 17, say they want to make responsible decisions. ■SsS* I I V'l'. by- W. Photo/PAUL WILUAHS -Sii about sex Is what Singleton tackles first in presentations to adolescents. "There is so much mystery to sex," said Singleton. "No one taught our parents. They learned primarily through trial and error, jokes, myths and friends. A lot of it is in accurate and not very posi tive." Judy Williams says she is open and honest when she t^ks to any of her eight chil dren (three biological and five foster) about sex. "I lay it to 'em on the line. I get out the medical books so there won't be any myths." Most important, said Wil- liams,who has had her chil dren attend the workshops on sex, is teaching responsi bility. "I tell them I'm not go ing to shoulder your respon sibility. I tell them that when you do grown-up things, you have to take grown-up responsibility for it.” Abstinence is what Wil liams preaches. "I advocate no sex before marriage. I tell them that sex is beautiful un der the right circumstances. I say don't end up getting a baby. You can protect your self." Singleton said that those in sex education "see teen pregnancy and sexual be havior as separate things. You can't control sexual be havior, but you can teach responsibility." The more comprehensive approach to sex education is aimed at factors involv ing teens' decision-making process. "It's not just plumbing anymore," Sin gleton said. 'Talking about behavior is lust as impor tant." In existence since 1981, The Male's Place is aimed at boys but its workshops include girls also. "Most boys are responsi ble and respectful and have a sense of restraint and control. Still disturbing is teen pregnancy. There is still a large number of males who aren't taking re sponsibility," Singleton said. Teen mothers are getting younger, according to sta tistics from the Mecklen burg Council on Adolescent Pregnancy (MGAP). In 1992, 2,064 teens became preg nant. Ninety-seven girls 14 and younger became preg nant and of that number 66 girls gave birth compared to 46 the year before. Robin Woods figures that two out of 10 teens that she works with are sexually ac tive. Woods is the teen advis or at Johnston YMCA. Peer pressure Is a problem for teens. Woods said. "Kids put each other into catego ries. They may say she's dumb because she's not doing anything. A lot of the eighth- grade girls have started to watch the guys playing bas ketball and are doing things to attract them," she said. There Is pressure for 13- year-old Sharonda Clink- scales. "Why don't you do it? There ain't nothing wrong with it," are some of the things she said she hears from peers. But Sharonda is adamant about waiting. "One reason. I'm too young. It doesn't feel right now. There are a lot of diseases going around. And my mom would kill me," she said. Singleton stresses several things to teens at his work shops: •You don't have to be pro miscuous to be manly. Be ing monogamous is manly. •Two persons should be equally responsible. Both the guy and girl should use protection against pregnan cy and sexually- transmitted diseases in cluding AIDS and HIV. •Choices made now can have an Impact much later. With a sense of decency, self respect, assertiveness and peer refusal skills, young sters can make responsible choices. Workshops are availa ble for school and church groups as well as small groups. For information, call Akanke Ast, Spelman College student, on cover of "The Afri can Americans." It made an October debut at bookstores. Book filled with lush photos By Cassandra Wynn THE CHARLOTTE POST "The African Americans" (1993, Viking Studio Books) may be one of the "must gets" for Christmas. Lush with rich color and black and white photos, "The African Americans" chroni cles contemporary life for black Americans. Although the book has historical fig ures like Frederick Douglass, Paul Robeson, Marian An derson, Thurgood Marshall and Martin Luther King Jr., much of the book also con tains the little-known people who are working In commu nity service, business, the arts, entertainment and churches to make a differ ence. "It's for everybody," said co-editor Charles Collins. "One of the messages is that we're all In this together-the fireman, the poet, the doctor, lawyer. Where the heart and soul of the book rests Is with everyday people." Collins, who lives in San Francisco, is president of WDG Companies, which is engaged in real estate, com munity and economic devel opment. The book made its debut in book stores earlier this month. The large-format, full-color book contains 240 pages and more than 250 photographs accompanied with text. John Hope Frank lin, historian and author of "From Slavery to Freedom," wrote the introduction. Photographs from the book ;are featured in the October issue of Ebony magazine, the Today show and in Parade magazine. The book includes recent pictures of the late Arthur Ashe and Arthur Mitchell, Reginald Lewis. Nobel-Prize winner Toni Morrison, au thor Terry McMillan, law yer/teacher Anita Hill, boxer Muhammad All and former Joint Chiefs of Staff chair man Colin Powell are among those whose pictures are in the book. But the photographs of Af rican American, who are not famous and in the trenches make the book unique, Col lins said. From Phillip Sim ons, a retired iron worker in Charleston, S.C., to John Os borne, who is pictured help ing his daughter with her homework to Shirley Clark, a seasonal farm worker, the book makes an effort to cov er every aspect of life. "Our success is measured by the everyday heroes who are now working to Improve lives. We wanted to give them some prominence. It is im portant that somebody pays attention to them," Collins said. 'The African Americans" is divided Into eight sections: "Service to the Community," "A Quest For Knowledge, " "Economic Achievement," "A Cultural Richness," "Amazing Grace," "Everyday Heroes," "Hope for the Fu ture." Each chapter begins with an historical overview accompanied by a comple ment of pictures. 'We wanted a book that See 'AFRICAN' Page IQA 9A AROUND CRARLOTTE CHURCH MEWS
The Charlotte Post (Charlotte, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Oct. 21, 1993, edition 1
7
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75