11A
LIFESTYLES/ The Charlotte Post
February 1,1996
AIDS death takes toll
Continued from page 9A
did not question us like the
other ones will. Ronnell was
always the one that would be
there for the family."
It was not until the fall of
1994 that Ronnell's poor
health became visible to oth
ers.
"My wife is a real bright
skinned lady, and I'm dark,"
Gardner said. "And our son
had begun to get as dark as I
am...I started to talk to him to
ask him what was wrong, and
he would always say nothing.
But I could see there was
something physically wrong
with.him."
Two weeks later, Ronnell
had become so weak that he
had no choice but to seek pro
fessional help.
By simply looking at the tex
ture of his hair, a local doctor
immediately diagnosed
Roniiell with Acquired
Immune Deficiency
Syndrome.
The AIDS virus causes the
hair of African Americans to
become fine, like a baby’s.
Other . symptoms include
slight fever, headaches,
fatigue or swollen glands.
"The miost shocking thing
through that whole experience
was our son wondered if we
were we going to accept him
as our child.br virere we going
to reject him and cast him
out," Gardner said. "I believe
he would have died earlier if
we would have rejected him
because his main fear was
wondering what were we
going to do with him.
"He was so tense and scared
then, that he was just about to
die then from being afraid
that we were going to reject
him."
Earnestine and Roosevelt
reassured Ronnell that the
disease would not strip away
their love for him. It was a
turning point.
"That seemed to be a real
burden off of our son,"
Gardner said. "From that
point on he got better. He and
I talked quite a bit once he
knew he would not be living
long. He became a very, very
respectful young man."
Through intimate conversa
tions with his son, Gardner
learned that Ronnell had sex
ual intercourse with a prosti
tute when he was 16. No one
knows if Ronnell contracted
the virus at this point. His
girlfriend, at the time, was
and still is HIV negative.
Because the disease had
taken away all of the things
that a normal 21-year-old
likes to do, Ronnell told his
father he didn’t want to live a
long time.
Nine months later, Ronnell
died.
Gardner acknowledges that
some days are harder to deal
with the loss of his child than
others. Under normal circum
stances, the Gardners would
have celebrated Ronnell's
22nd birthday last week.
Instead, they searched for
meaning in his unexpected
death.
"You never know if the loss
will get easier in time,"
Gardner said. "I don't know.
It may get easier the more I
talk about it. We have to learn
how to deal with it and go on.
I think my wife and I have
done as best we could out of
the death of our son. Our chil
dren seem to have gone on.
We're just going to try to live
as best we can."
Gardner wants to console
other African American fami
lies. He advises any parent
facing this challenge to have
faith in God and be loving.
"You have to love your chil
dren unconditionally," he said.
"I don't think anybody would
selectively go out and choose
to get AIDS. But once it has
happened to you, it's just
another disease that we as a
people must understand,
accept and go on.
"Things happen. They do
happen, and they’re still your
child. You must accept it, live
with it and go on. There's been
a saying in the Afro-American
community that the Lord will
not put any more on you than
you can stand. When things of
that magnitude start to hap
pen to you, the only thing you
can trust in is the Lord."
Roosevelt Gardner is avail
able to speak to groups about
coping with AIDS. For more
information, call (704) 362-
2254.
Wedding Announcement
Ifill-Esho
Kimberly Funlola Esho
of Charlotte and Curtis Lee
Eason Ifill exchanged wed
ding vows 5:30 p.m. June 22
at the. Johnson C. Smith
University Chapel, 100
Beatties Ford Road.
The bride is the daughter
of Emmanuel and Carol
Esho. and Charles and Connie
Jefferson. Kimberly graduat
ed from North Community
High School and received a
bachelor's degree in psycholo
gy from Johnson C. Smith
University in 1993. She is a
family counselor at the Family
Center.
The groom is the son of
Geraldine Eason and the late
Harold Ifill. Curtis graduated
from South West Edgecomb
High School and received a
bachelor's degree in business
administration from JCSU in
1992. He is a mutual fund
specialist at First Union.
Tiedra Pittman was the
matron of honor, and Tammie
Hawkins was the maid of
honor. There were 11 brides
maids; Shade Esho, Toya
Freeman, Marla Marks,
Verretta McKay, Latissa
Simmons, Darlene Simmons,
Lastoshia Wiggins, Denise
Pringle, Dashia Price, Alice
Horne and Torlena
Blackmore.
Niema Farer and Essence
Karan Horne were the flower
girls.
Gary Hodges was the best-
man. There were 11 grooms
men: Otis Ifill, Bobby Eason,
Robert Tyson, Marcel Bush,
Craig Rivers, Lee Hawkins,
James Eason, Jeffrey Smith,
Jeff Staton, Terrance Staton
and Daryl Ifill.
Justin Wulf and Quincy
Lamont Pittman were the ring
bearers.
The wedding reception was
held at the Hilton Hotel. The
celebration continued during
the couple's honeymoon trip to
the Bahamas.
The newlyweds will reside in
Charlotte.
Husband’s help opens door to wife’s fantasy
MORGANTOWN, W.Va.-
One day last February while
working at her home interior
shop, Mindy Dupke flipped on
the television to catch a,few
minutes of the do-it-yourself
show “Our Home."'
Her husband, Adam, who
was there helping, took a
break to watch with her.
Crammed into the small
workroom of Surroundings,
the store, Mindy, a West
Virginia University interior
design graduate opened in
July 1994, the couple took a
breather from the hard work
of creating pieces for cus
tomers.
The 25-year-old Mindy, one
of the youngest business
women in town, had worked
as an interior design consul
tant after graduation. At the
completion of a job, she would
always leave a handmade
item for her clients.
These dried flower arrange
ments, potpourri and other
beautiful tokens of apprecia
tion were a hit and friends
suggested Mindy sell them.
She liked that idea.
Never one to shirk from hard
work, she formulated a plan
for a shop and went about the
business of building invento
ry.
She worked tirelessly, push
ing creativity to the limits,
making items to sell in her
future shop. Odd jobs and the
occasional interior design pro
ject kept Mindy and Adam
going as he finished his stud
ies at WVU and she inched
closer and closer to opening
Surroundings.
It was not easy. She encoun
tered many obstacles. Not
everyone took her seriously
because of her age. But she
proved them wrong.
It was six months after the
opening, on that February
day, that the couple watched
“Our Home" in the store their
sweat and tears had built.
fDry Seasons
‘You haven't nmde your goaf at this time,
hut choose to hoCd on to (jo£s hancf,
which shaffguide you down fife's path of
vaffeys and high mountains.
(Even as 'Efijah went aside and prayed to (jod and saw the rain coming Before it did.
You must afsoget in the presence of (^od and
Iqww that my season of rain is reaffy edready here
and it shudf water my grounds at any moment now
and (^od knows Best which part of my
garden needs the most rain and which needs Cess,
Because I've Been using his products
and he's the chief farmer.
— Lesfie Qardner
13
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Mrs. BEATRICE McMURRAY
DR. DENNIS L. WATTS
MR. KELVIN SEABROOKS
CERTIHED CHIROPRACTIC
CHIROPRACTIC PHYSICIAN
FORMER WORLD CHAMPION
NURSE, Office MANAGER
CLINIC DIRECTOR
COMMUNITY RELATIONS
BEATTIES FORD ROAD- WILKINSON BLVD- THE PLAZA
WE JUST WON'T HAVE OUR BIG
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YEAR, SO WE DECIDED TO SPEND
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