mmmmm
tKfje Cfjarlotte ^osit
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1996
«A
LIFESTYLES
Please buy
me some
flowers!!
Ask
Gwendolyn
Baines
Dear Gwendolyn:
It's that time of year
again. The time when all
the ladies in the office will
receive roses. I don't
know about myself. You
see, for the past eight
years of my marriage, I
have never received roses.
My husband forgets
Valentine's Day, my birth
day, and our anniversary.
I only receive a gift at
Christmas. It is usually a
cheap item for the house.
Never flowers, perfume, or
something just for me.
I love my husband, but I
do need for him to show
more affection. If giving a
gift was against his reli
gious belief, I could accept
it. It's not.
This year I am thinking
of having some roses deliv
ered so I can fit in. Last
year I was the only lady in
the office who did not
receive roses. I was so
hurt and upset I went into
a vacant office and cried. I
told myself for years he
might surprise me, but it
hasn't happened yet. Do
you think I am wrong for
wanting to buy them
myself? Valentine's Day is
such a wonderful celebra
tion. For me, it's always
sad.
Jean
Dear Jean:
Stop being sad. You are only
human and expressing a nor
mal behavior. This obser
vance only comes once a year.
You are not alone and don't
feel you are. Don't sit and ask
yourself what's wrong with
you. It's your husband who
has the problem with under
standing how you feel about
gifts at special times of the
year.
You are not wrong for wanti
ng flowers, but perhaps you
should rethink your reasons.
Don't order roses just to "fit
in." Remember, your co-work
ers are people just like you.
Their life is not happy every
day. It seems that way
because all you see are the
roses.
Don't wait for him to send
you anything! He may take
notice if he sees that you don't
care. Fpcus instead on the
nice things he does for you. Sit
down with him and explain
your reasons for wanting flow
ers.
Men often view things dif
ferently than women.
During your conversation,
start with the positive and
then move on to the flower
issue. Remember to be posi
tive and upbeat. And express
how you feel in language that
he can understand.
Jean, remember, there is no
shame in buying yourself
roses. A gift to you on a spe
cial day makes it that much
more memorable. Daily self-
affirmations are necessary
and unfortunately women do
not use them enough.
Go ahead. Make your day.
Give yourself a rose!
Features
Around Charlotte 9A
Church News 11A
Sunday School 10A
Take a close look
at our
Black History
facts...page 15A
FOREVER
Cleanliness is key to lasting,
healthy skin design
By Andrea R. Richards
THE CHARLOTTE POST
✓ enneth Mitchell got his first tattoo - a skull
( M / and crossbones - about 18 months ago. He
said the procedure hurt a little bit, but not
• I 'V enough to keep him from doing it again.
( m % Today, Mitchell, 22, is adding two tomb-
^ stones to his chest. He doesn't mind having
permanent pictures on his body.
"Two of my friends died within the last
year," he said. "This tattoo will be for sentimental value. I want
it to be there for life."
Mitchell said his mother didn't approve of him marking up his
body, but he did it anyway. Ironically, the Charlottean said he
would not want any of his future children to be tattooed.
"But it's for me," he said, with conviction. "This is not for
them."
Tattooist Nikki Thompson of Nikki's Tattoo Studio on Monroe
Road advises African Americans to avoid some colors: blue, pur
ple and yellow.
"These colors don't usually show up too well," she said. "Also, a
lot of Afro-Americans and Asians are prone to develop keloids. If
you have keloid scarring, then do not get a tattoo."
Because tattooing is becoming more and more popular, the fed
eral Food and Drug Administration is currently studying its safe
ty.
Permanent tattoos are applied by using a small electric
machine with a needle bar that holds from one to 10 needles,
each in its own tube. The machine operates like a mini-sewing
machine. The needle bar moves up and down as it penetrates
through the top and middle layer of the skin, depositing ink along
the way.
Small tattoos (up to 3 inches) can generally be completed within
an hour. Larger ones may take up to several hours or more, and
may be done in more than one sitting. The severity of pain
depends on where the tattoo is placed and a person's tolerance
level.
The first and most important step in getting a tattoo is to hire a
professional tattooist.
'Make sure you go to somewhere that has been approved by the
health department," said Thompson, a tattooist for five years.
"Don't go to somebody's house and get it done. Also, make sure
the person has a working autoclave (a heat sterilization machine
regulated by the FDA)."
Kris Sperry, of Atlanta, co-founder of the Alliance of
ILLUSTRATION/JOETTA I. TALFORD
See TATTOOS page 9A
Gifts of Love
By Andrea R. Richards
THE CHARLOTTE POST
V Valentine's Day can
be stressful for gift
givers and receivers.
If your friend gives
you a sample box of
chocolates after you've given
him or her a bouquet of roses
and an exquisite dinner, it can
be difficult to look
grateful.You feel your com
panion is not creative, just
plain cheap, or even worse,
both.
There's nothing wrong with
trying to cut costs because the
price of romance certainly has
increased. The coirntry's old
est video dating service. Great
Expectations, conducted a
study on dating inflation. The
report showed a 602 percent
increase since 1976.
For example, a dozen long
stemmed roses costs $60
today, $25 then. Movie
admission was $1.50 in '76,
now it’s $7.50 in some states.
Night club admission climbed
from $4 to $10, while a silk
lingerie teddy went from $4 to
$35.
Here are a few fun, yet inex
pensive, ideas to spruce up
any Valentine's Day.
Thanks to modern technolo
gy, Cupid has entered the
Internet. MindSpring
Enterprises Inc., an Internet
provider based in Atlanta, cre
ated a page to order flowers,
bottles of perfume, boxes of
chocolates or to reserve
romantic weekend reserva
tions.
You can also take a test to
see how compatible your mate
and you are by taking a per
sonality test, and even an IQ
test. The MindSpring Web
site can be visited at
http://www.mindspring.com>
or call 1-800-719-4332.
Flowers may smell nice,
while chocolate covered cher
ries can taste good. However,
nothing beats the romance of
a caring touch.
The First Aid Relationship
Kit by Tender Loving Things
Inc., is a simple but very effec
tive gift. It includes a large
wooden massager, scented
massage oil and a tea candle.
"Giving the gift of relaxation
and touch is the healthiest
and most stress-free present
you can give a loved one for
Valentine's Day," said Mark
Juarez, TLT president. "We
consider Valentine's Day the
perfect opportunity to encour
age people to go out there and
massage one another."
The kit costs between $10-
$12. For more information,
call 1-800-486-2896.
Pam Newell, director of
Great Expectations, said peo
ple don't have to empty their
bank account to have a good
time.
"Since the cost of romance is
^ pi m
PHOTO/TOM MINC2ESKI
The First Aid Relationship Kit is an inexpensive, creative way
to spruce up anyone's Valentine's Day. It includes one large
wooden massager, a scented massage oil and a tea candle.
up, couples must find creative,
sentimental and fun ways to
be romantic, such as writing a
poem for their partner or
preparing an intimate dinner
for two," she said.
Gift certificates, baked goods
or a personalized cassette tape
of sentimental songs are also
more thoughtful Valentine's
gifts.
There has
never been a
love like this
By Andrea R. Richards
THE CHARLOTTE POST
The first official weekend for
love will be Feb. 16-18.
The Black Love Weekend,
sponsored by the
Empowerment Project and the
R.I.S.E. Network Youth and
Family Enhancement Center,
is a fundraiser with live jazz
music, an open buffet, a youth
'jam,' and a family-focused
love explosion.
The celebration will kick off
with "Jazzin', Jammin', and
Lovin'” featuring the the
Michael
Porter
Trio, 9
p.m.
Feb. 16 at
Renaissance Place, 631 N.
Tryon St. Tickets are $20 per
son and $35 per couple.
The following night will be
the "One Love Jam," a party
for young people. Admission
is $5 wdth a canned good.
The love weekend will con
clude 4 p.m. Feb. 18 at Biddle
Hall at Johnson C. Smith
University. There will be
songs, dance, stepping,
poetry readings, along
with several guest
speakers. This event is
free.
For more information, call
344-9311.
Social Lites
Mr. & Mrs. Conner
Anniversary celebration
Mr. and Mrs. William S. Conner
were married 64 years ago,
January 10, 1932, at first Mount
Calvary Baptist Church,
Charlotte.
. Mr. Conner retired from
Highland Park Manufacturing
Company, after 42 years and Mrs.
Conner retired from the
Independence Building after 47
years. They attribute their long
lived marriage to putting God first
-See SOCIALITE page 12A