Cljarlotte
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 1996
9A
LIFESTYLES
Woman is
waiting to
exhale
Ask
Gwendolyn
Baines
Dear Gwendolyn:
One year ago I met a nice
man at work. We started
dating and last month we
got married. As happy as
we hoth are, the marriage
started with a problem.
While dating, my hus
band and 1 became inti
mate. During our
courtship, I never experi
enced an orgasm with him.
I just pretended to be
pleased. The problem is
after marrying him, I still
have not experienced an
orgasm.
Now I have a bigger prob
lem. For six years I dated
a man who was sexually
perfect. However, sex was
his only quality. Several
times he dumped me for
other women, and I once
caught him with my best
friend. Last week I picked
up the phone three times
to call him, and three
times I put it down. I don't
know what happened.
Mary
Dear Mary:
I do. You are human and for
a minute, you almost gave in
to your sexual feelings and
became an unfaithful wife.
Don't try to spare your hus
band's ego. You are his wife .
now. He needs to be informed
of the problem.
If the two of you have done
everything possible and you
still do reach an orgasm, con
sider talking to a sex thera
pist. To keep your husband
from feeling less than a man,
let him know there are many
couples with the same prob
lem. It can be worked out.
Once he discovers your sensi
tive areas, you will have all
the joys of marriage.
If you continue to pretend,
you will eventually be even
more tempted to break you
wedding vows.
With the spread of AIDS,
and because it is wrong, cou
ples need to remain faithful.
Mary, let me tell you this.
Men who are considered good
lovers usually have a lot of
practice. That is how they
Ijecome so good. With practice
your husband can become
more adept at figuring out
what you need.
Keep your focus on your hus
band. There is no greater joy
than to come home to a man
that loves you and that you
love in return.
Get rid of the temptation.
Throw away your ex
boyfriend's number. Don't
jeopardize a beautiful mar
riage for a moment of sexual
pleasure.
Features
Around Charlotte 10A
Church News 12A
Sunday School 11A
Black history
stories
and
pictures
Page 13A
Teen program
teaches saying
no to early sex
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
H ope, Ark. - a volunteer program called “A Hope
for Teens" is encouraging- students to choose a
healthy lifestyle that includes saying ‘no’ to sex.
A group of community volunteers led by teacher
Carol Lester developed the program for Yerger
Junior High School.
Lester said the program is about teaching stu
dents to set limits and stay out of situations that
compromise their values. It includes teaching them to say no to
sex and abstain until marriage. A nationwide program is called
True Love Waits."
Lester said the material does not include any reference to God.
Students are not encouraged to practice safe sex, but, instead, to
abstain altogether. The slogan they use is “101 ways to wait
while you date."
Teens can do a lot that is healthy and wholesome in a boy-girl
relationship without having sex, said Lester, who also teaches
practical arts entry-level home economics.
Most 13, 14, and 15-year-olds are sexually abstinent, but they
may think they are the only virgins in the crowd, she explained,
“If we can teach our kids to say no to drugs, we should be able
to teach no to sex," she said.
The idea for the program came when a group of mothers,
including Lester, attended a workshop last August on the issue
of teen pregnemcy. Yerger Principal Larry Muldrew encouraged
Lester to develop the volunteer program, which is not costing the
school anything. Now other school districts have begun asking
about the program.
Some students have volunteered to talk to other students
about why they chose to abstain from sex until marriage.
“When we started out, no one knew what the word abstinence
meant," Lester said. “Now students are realizing it may be a
very popular option."
AIDS toll increasingly borne by blacks
By A. J. Hostetler
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
ATLANTA -
A ids is exacting a
growing toll on
blacks, with the virus
responsible for a
third of all deaths
among black men ages 25 to
44 and a fifth of deaths among
their female counterparts, the
federal government said
Thursday.
The report from the Centers
for Disease Control and
Prevention is the latest to
demonstrate the changes in
the epidemic since the first
cases were reported 15 years
ago among gay white men.
AIDS now claims a higher
proportion of deaths among
young black women than
among young white men, the
CDC said.
“This is an epidemic that is
affecting every segment of
society," said Cornelius Baker
of the National Association of
People with AIDS.
At least 41,930 people .died
of AIDS in 1994, up 9 percent
from 38,500 the previous year.
About three-quarters of the
victims were ages 25 to 44, the
CDC said. AIDS is the leading
cause of death in that age
group.
In 1994, AIDS caused 32
percent of deaths among black
men ages 25 to 44, up from 28
percent the year before, and
20 percent among young white
men, about the same as in
1993, according to the CDC.
AIDS caused 22 percent of
deaths among black women of
the same age group in 1994
and 17 percent in 1993, com
pared with 6 percent among
young white women in 1994
and 5 percent the year before.
The death rate from AIDS
for young black men in 1994
was 177.9 per 100,000, almost
four times greater than the
rate for their white counter
parts, 47.2. The rate for black
men rose 13 percent from the
previous year, while the rate
for white men remained about
the same, the CDC said.
The toll among women is
growing. The rate for young
black women, 51.2, rose 28
percent from the 1993 rate of
40.1. The rate for young white
women jumped 30 percent,
from 4.4 in 1993 to 5.7 in
1994.
The CDC expects the death
rates for blacks and women to
continue climbing as their
proportion of AIDS cases
among Mack mm ages
25 In 44, up from 2S
■percent the pear b^ore,
and 20 perce7it aitumg
young while mm, abnut
'the same as in 1993,
according to the CltL.
grow, while cases and deaths
among white men are leveling
off.
“The disparity in the burden
of the AIDS epidemic will be
increasingly borne by black
communities in the country,"
said Dr. John Ward, the
CDC's chief of AIDS surveil
lance.
AIDS is now like other sexu
ally transmitted diseases,
which tend to strike minori
ties harder than whites, Ward
said. He pointed to the link
between sex and drugs as
another reason for the growth
of AIDS among blacks.
The CDC did not report fig
ures for other minorities
because information on other
races was not available.
Through 1995, 513,486 cases
and 315,928 deaths of AIDS
have been reported.
Horoscopes
ARIES: (March 21-April
ji® itpi#®':;!
skhp'w-ip:#: ^3ri‘esbtalees.' It's'' ?
advantageous to.your mone-:
tary goals, to be.flexible and/:
roll ■with the punches. Yon
earn tq: l^vsl -'sd'ltaid;
ning.
1
TAIIHUS: (April 21 - May
21J Now’s the best time to
etart a new partnership,
whether in .business or
..romance^ the results -will defir
: nitely be very positive, Keep^
your physical energy high- '
Money dealings will intensify
in the nei^ few months, be
: very fiareful about the details.
GEMINI; (May 22-June
21) Your mind may be totally
on pleasure and free time dur- ;
ing the week, it's time to think, i
aiSut improving your flnaa*
1 iiji and lob .Mtuun.m. Be l au-
';:;eaplh|li|ihe®lSHe:ahy'^
ien^: Ihjdwdyn&w^,,
win.
CANCEEt (June 22 - July
■::28)Ahete*ihle# ^^erih»^
your lovehfe ready to bo wiit*:
ten » be. patient, allthe.details /
: fWih .unihldwddednp.;; j;
; itqhrihpiiinrt.cqhhhim;to.be:;W
domihant'h>r:ttpihto' 8eyeral:;l::::
:yda :aip.teaipteft: refrain frp#/
'niakhig'any/basty derisions,.^
LEO; (July 24- August 23)
:. The: thought of work doesn't
do much for you, but it. will be
■surpri|mg: how ih^
‘ .vsdll ac(dhip1ieh: iljwdyust put j
yourttose td;-
the’grind»'
approach to moneymaking
idi.-as and fiiiaiiciis.
■VIRGO: (August 24 -
September 23) Hard work is
the key tliruiighoul this week.
There is friction on tlie job
wh.ch can bo avoided with
diplomacy. The chance to
e ih'tnce your working akilla is
good. liK.k for opportunities,
however .small thpy may seem.
The solution hr a
problem is 'evident. ; -ly |"Y-
LIBRA: iBepttemher 24 >
October 28) This week will
be a lot more active and
rewarding than the past,com
pie of weeks. Beal estate could
be a profitable area now. Yotm ^,
financial b.mdwagoii rolls
along, producing profits which/
will be more evident in the
next ft.w weeks. Concentrate
m
stone. Keep in mind in the
future that yoti.udll benefit,
from amora iatelfestual
SCORPIO; (October 24 >
November 22) Try to lode at
thihp. wifrsfr
tive. If you go about accom
plishing things differently,
you may be amazed at how
much you'll get done. The next
few,weekswih:favck..fihanfiial:v' '
planning, so work closely with
someone who knows the busi
ness well. ,/
SAGITTABIU8: ;
(November 23 « December
21) The prevailing theme is ^
tranquility. Evemngs may hi;
filled with enjiiyablc .niciul
t-vi-nt.=> and romniitic inter
ludes You hfive attracted the
attenliori of a \TP at work,
honieone who can help you
advance your career and peW^'
sonal goals. Keep your atti-
tude upbeat. ■
CAPRICORN: (December
22 - January 20) Your
friends are very supportive,
and if you are working on a
personal goal, they will be
able to give some good advdee. -
Alicky.oppUtfrtttife®
enable you to climb up a few
additional rungs on the ladder
of success. Trim down your
AQUARIUS: (January 21 >
February 12} You will meet a
whole new circle of people who
can be stimulating on an intel
lectual level. These new
pehda^#ltt..help'Clarif5i'inYj - -
important objectives which
have been fuzzy. Steer clear of
any known troublemakers in
the workplace, they may ham
per your progress.
. PISCES: (February 20- /
March 20) Distant friends or
family will dominate your
woridng on that special pro
ject which may have to do
with a home matter. Beware
of being overly optimistic eon*
ceming finances - remember
to not count your chickens
before they're hatched.
? ' JFTHIS WEEK IS YOUR
BIRTHDAY: You will no
0douMaeh4mey(iurgreate$(;':
succegees by listening to the
comments and advice from
■ dthdra, formulating a long
. range program, and finding
Joy in your accomplishments
and goals, no matter horn
small they may seem to you.:
You also have a tendency to
, speak before you think, hurt-
ing those close to you, -