ZKIje Cljarlotte
THURSDAY, JANUARY 16, 1997
10A
LIFESTYLES
Price not
right, women
pay more
than men
By Diane Targovnik
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
OLYMPIA - The price is not
right.
That’s the name of the new
study showing a woman in
Washington state gets charged
an average of $5.56 more for a
haircut than a man, while she
also pays on average $1.63 more
to get her white cotton shirt diy
cleaned.
So what is going to be done?
Sen. Pat Thibaudeau, D-Seattle,
says next week she plans to pro
pose legislation to punish busi
nesses that charge women more
than men for identical services.
Thibaudeau sponsored a simi
lar bill last year that allowed
the state Human Rights
Commission to fine violators up
to $10,000. It didn’t pass, but
the Senate voted 26-22 to study
the problem.
“Women get a double hit,” she
said Friday. “They make about
three-quarters of what a man
does and now they are paying
more for services.”
The senator isn’t too optimistic
about it passing, caUing it more
of an educational and informa
tive action.
“Women will keep saying to
themselves, to their dry clean
ers, to their legislators, ‘We
don’t have to tolerate this,’ ”
Thibaudeau said. “I think that
this sends a signal.”
Sen. Harold Hochstatter, R-
Moses Lake, thinks the biU is a
bad idea.
“Brave men died for our fiber-
ties, not for the price of our hair
cuts,” Hochstatter said.
“I guess it’s one of those things
where you ask, ‘Why should
government have to rule?’ ” he
said, after pointing out he
doesn’t wony about the barber
because he’s bald. “If you don’t
like your barber or your dry
cleaner, you don’t sue them. You
go into competition with them.”
The study divided the state
into six regions, calling hair
dressers and diy cleaning salons
in each area.
“If Joe Blow or Jane Blow
comes in off the street, we want
ed to know what they were
going to be charged,” said
Jonathan Seib, staff council for
the nonpartisan Senate
Commerce and Labor
Committee that headed the
study.
Seib was in charge of calling
and asking about haircuts and
dry cleaning services for men. A
woman from the council got the
female quotes. Neither of them
identified themselves as state
employees doing a study.
“We are also consumers,” Seib
said.
'The study did keep away from
asking car dealers about prices.
Staffers feared having to use
deception to find out if gender
bias existed in that arena, too.
A total of 180 salons were
called, with 60 percent of them
chenging women more than men
for a basic haircut. When asked,
both Seib and the female caller
said their hair was “above the
coUar.”
For dry cleaners, the study
showed that of the 70 establish
ments called, 66 percent
charged women more than men
to have a basic white cotton
shirt cleained.
If asked about the size of the
shirt, the female caller would
say eight. Seib was never asked.
A similar bill was passed in
1995 in California, where the
penalty for violating the law is
an award to the consumer of
$1,000, or up to three times the
amount of actual damages and
attorney’s fees.
“This affects men, too,”
Thibaudeau said. “I have had
more than one man teU me he is
tired of paying more for his
wife’s dry cleaning.”
Opposites attract
“We just need
to realize that
we are oppo
sites,” he said.
“We need to
realize we have
styles that are
so different and
misconceptions
about one anoth-
er.
Men value
their sense of
accomplishment,
he says. Women,
on the other
hand, value
security most.
How to
love a
black
woman
Excerpts from “How to Love a
Black Woman.”
“What women
want is someone
they can count
on,” he said.
“Women want
commitment.
“Women some
times feel that if
the love is good,
it won’t last.
They wonder
about men’s
abiding commit
ment. Men don’t
always realize
that fear.
Women must
communicate
that need to
men and men
must be open
enough to
imderstand it.”
“The new book is just like the
other one,” author Ronn
Elmore says. “You have your
five love substitutes and ways
to counter those for healthy
relationships.”
Tips for countering these
behaviors include:
•Avoid analyzing women.
“Women tell us what they
want, but we tell them why
they don’t want it or won’t get
it.”
Battle of the sexes
Women, he
suggests in the
book, need a
“reality check.”
•Don’t run away from their
tears.
“Men often feel that emotions
are pointing a finger,” Elmore
said. Most often it is not. It is
simply an expression of emo
tion.
just a skirmish
They must come
•Stick around.
For women, security is com
mitment.
By Jeri Young
THE CHARLOTTE POST
time I am writing for black men
or any man that loves black
women.”
Men and women are oppo
sites, says psychotherapist
Ronn Efinore.
But that isn’t a bad thing.
“The miracle and the beauty of
love is that we are opposites,” he
said. “Both can make good
things happen or make sick
things happen.”
Elmore, author of the 1996
best-seUer “How to Love a Black
Man,” has spent years studying
black relationships. His private
practice was filled with women
who wanted to imderstand men.
The key to having healthy
relationships is not tr5dng to
change your partner.
“The genders have styles that
are so different,” Elmore says.
“We think love ought to mean
the same thing to both. We
think we ought to love each
other the same way. That is not
going to work. It just ain’t so.”
Elmore is working on a com
panion piece, “How to Love a
Black Woman.”
“Same concept,” he said. “This
The concept is simple. The
book divides relationship behav
ior into five
categories:
pleasers,
controllers,
rescuers,
avoiders
and bash
ers. Each
group has
its own way
of dealing
with rela
tionships
that further
exacerbate
the gender
divide.
Elmore
offered 73
“tips” or
behavior
modifiers
Elmore
to terms with
who black men
are and of course,
aren’t. Black men
aren’t all good,
nor are they aU bad.
“At the core of men is a sense
that performance and accom
plishment are most important,”
Elmore said. “Those are the
things that he val
ues. Historically
for black men, that
sense has been
lacking.”
Men and women
need to realize
this, he said.
“Traditionally,
we have not had
the resources to
protect our
women,” Elmore
said. “We didn’t
have the resources
or the power to
make her feel
safe.”
The important
thing is to
acknowledge the
differences and
•Say, “I don’t know,” when
you don’t.
Talk to her to understand her
feelings. It is OK not to know
everything.
•Resist the urge to be a
“sugar daddy.”
•Reassure her of your devo
tion.
“It can be holding her, or say
ing ‘I’m glad that you are my
woman.’”
•Keep your fascination with
passing women to yourself.
Most important is to let her
know when “you are going
imderground.”
“Men tend to back away
when something is bothering
them,” Elmore says. “Women
tend to value dialogue and talk
on subjects that affect them.”
It is OK to go underground,
Elmore says, but let your part
ner know when it is happen
ing.
that help alleviate problems and
draw the sexes closer.
The solution is simple, but
hard to achieve.
work through them.
“It is OK to be opposites,” he
said. “God made us that way.”
“Let her know you are work
ing through something,” he
says. “Let her know you’re
going underground, but that
you will be back.”
Around
Charlotte
News of Note
•Community Health Services
continues through Friday. The
week-long event includes lec
tures, tuberculosis screening
and immunizations. For more
information, call 375-0172.
The North Carolina Extension
Service is seeking volunteer
urban forestry educators. Each
volunteer will receive 30 hours
of training in urban tree care in
exchange for 30 volunteer
hours. For more information,
336-2561.
•The Old Greensborough
Preservation Society is accept
ing promotional kits and demo
tapes from bands for its ‘97
Friday at Five Series. Send
tapes and information to The
Old Greensborough
Preservation Society, 447
Arlington St. Greensboro, NC
27406.
The North Carolina
Association of Black
Storytellers will host 1997
Storytelling Harvest Saturday
at 4 p.m. at the Main Library
Auditorium, 310 N. Tryon St.
The program will feature local
story tellers, Elisha Minter,
Annette Grier, Cheryl “Sparkle”
Mosley, Connie Ellington,
Nooma Rhue and Mona
Ferguson. Wekesa O.
Madzimoyo, president of the
North Carolina affiliate will
present a tribute to Martin
Luther King.
•The Charlotte Black
Political Caucus will meet
Sunday at 7:30 p.m. at First
Baptist Church West, 1801
Oaklawn Ave. Mecklenburg
County Commissioner Darrel
Williams will present an eco
nomic development plan for the
black community.
•The Fiber Artist Guild of
Charlotte will meet Sunday at 2
p.m. at the Hezekiah Alexander
Museum, 3500 Shamrock
Drive. Lucinda Thornburg of
the Schiele Museum’s
Backcoxmtry Farm will present
information on 18th century
needlework and embroidery.
The Mecklenburg Vegetarian
Association will hold its month
ly potluck Sunday at Seventh
Day Adventist Church, 928
Sharon Amity Road at 6 p.m.
•The Alumni Association of
Fayetteville State University
will meet Jan. 25 at 9 a.m. at
the Golden Corral Restaurant
on Sharon Amity. A second
meeting will be held on Feb. 8
at the International House of
Pancakes on Ashley Road. For
more information, call 545-
5172.
Heating rocks and irons for buggy rides
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
BISMARCK, N.D. - Before
MTV, the Home Shopping
Network and senior centers
with hot coffee, people stranded
at home in winter storms heat
ed rocks and irons for buggy
rides and went to bed early.
They remember it well.
With much of North Dakota at
a standstill because of a bliz
zard, “The Good Old Days,” has
become a popular topic.
“This is nothing compared to
1949,” said Fred Fettig of
Bismarck.
“Or the winter of 1958-59,”
said Arnold Pfeifer, another
Bismarck resident.
Mel Beig of Bismarck was the
Renville county extension agent
in 1949. His office in Mohall
was an emergency management
center on and off during the
winter. From there. North
Dakota Army National Guard
soldiers delivered food and med
icine to remote farmsteads.
Guard members operated bull
dozers to break open roads and
haystacks for ranchers to feed
livestock. They drove “weasels,”
or vehicles with moving steel
tracks instead of wheels. Small
airplanes were used for mercy
flights to feny people to hospi
tals in during emergencies.
“The town of Tolley was down
to one day’s supply of coal when
the train was finally dug out,”
Berg recalled. “The route to
Minot was plugged for three
weeks.”
Near Strasburg that same
winter, Ray Fischer said his
routine was eat, sleep, do chores
and, in his spare time, smoke a
cigarette and look out the win
dow of the farm house.
‘We were just a half-mile off
Highway 83. So my Dad would
come out to the highway. I'd
walk to meet him and he’d take
me to town to get groceries,”
Fischer said. “I’d have to walk
back from the highway with the
groceries. That winter, my wife
didn’t get to church for eight
weeks.”
That winter. Rose Cooper and
her family moved fi:om KiUdeer
to a ranch in the badlands nine
miles west of Grassy Butte.
“Those years, ‘48, ‘49, ‘50 or ‘51
were the worst years ever. The
snow was belly deep on my
horse, and I had a pretty tall
horse,” she said.
“We didn't have that much
time on our hands," Fettig said.
“Some days, I was so tuckered
out (as a child on the farm), I
went to bed at 5:30 p.m.”
Fettig used the daylight hours
as almost any child might: ‘We
had a windmill
and the platform
was about 40 feet
off the ground, but
we had a snow
bank that went at
least 30 feet up
the side.
“I climbed up to
the platform and
jumped off. I was
going to slide all
the way down that
snowbank,” he
said.
The thrill of the
ride never materi
alized after a 10-
foot leap.
“I got stuck,” he
said. “I jumped
and my feet broke
through the
snow.
mm