14A STYLE/The Charlotte Post Thursday November 20, 1997 Parents: play time important Continued from page 16A it is an African fabric, but tradi tionally it’s used during funerals. It is not appropriate for children’s toys. When manufacturers chose the fabrics it gives it an African look, but it is a misuse of the cloth.” Folayan says choosing toys that are ethnically incorrect can have,, far-reaching effects on young chil dren. They may develop insecuri ties about tbeir looks. “Ibys are fantasy,” she said. “As children play, they become part of their games. You don’t want your child with short hair to dream only of long hair.” Experts say price should not be a factor in choosing toys, either. Breaking the family bank does not necessarily mean children will be delighted by gifts. Many appropriate toys are relatively inexpensive. ! Davis said tbe answer does not rest with the price tag, and exces sive spending is not a good idea. “Young children cannot compre hend cost, and their favorite toys often are the least expensive,” she said. “Stressing the budget to make the family happy can back fire by causing extra tension. The children may even feel responsi ble for tbe stress.” Folayan says it’s never too late to introduce children to ethnically correct toys. But if children have only received white dolls, they may need enticement to play with /black ones. • “Begin by talking with the t * child,” Folayan said. “Give them j positive messages to affirm their j self-esteem. Tfell them how beauti- > fill their hair, lips, eyes and noses • are. Affirm the beauty of other people of color who are family members. Tbys should be used to reinforce those images. “It’s going to take time for them to become comfortable with black dolls. The important thing is that parents realize how important it is that children receive realistic toys.” Here are some guidelines for choosing children’s toys; • Choose toys that foster cre ative play. Will it stimulate the child’s initiative, imagination and skills? • Choose toys that help children learn how to learn. Tbys that require decision-making can help build self-confidence. • Make sure children have a wide variety of toys. Choose toys for all the child’s developing needs. • Watch the age appropriate ness of each gift. Don’t rush chil dren to toys for older ages. • Choose toys that will grow with the child. These must be sturdy to last several years. • Choose toys that reinforce self-esteem. “Play time really is important,” Folayan said. “Children will develop self-esteem during aU activities, including play. Having inappropriate toys, or toys that don’t reflect them can be barmful to children.” • Choose toys that look like your child. “My daughter likes Barbie dolls,” Folayan said. “A good choice for us was Nigerian Barbie. Her features were very ethnic and a she came with a lit tle book that explained the ori- ‘Dance chooses just jthe right number 'Continued from 16A ' Along the way, “Honey Hush” peeks into the bedroom, tells sis- tahs how to stop an evil man and deals vrith sexism. My personal favorite is “The Black Church and Churchgoers.” Nothing is as fiiimy as people in church. Included among Dance’s selec tions is Mabley doing one of her infamous routines about ber “o-o- o-l-d-d-ti-d-d-d-d-d-d, pu-u-u-u-u- u-u-u-n-y, moldy man,” According to Mabley, her man was so old and puny that after a funeral, the undertaker told him not to leave the mortuary. In addition to Mabley, Whoopi Goldberg appears in her alter ego Fontaine and comedy newcomer Hazelle does her too-funny “Not Going to Stop “til I Make it to de Tbp.” Dance includes sections from Alice Walker’s classic “The Color Purple” (the nasty consequences of Celie’s “beat her” advice to Harpo) and Valerie Walker Wesley’s “Devil’s Gonna Get Him” and Tina McElroy Ansa’s “Ugly Ways.” Also included are hilarious thoughts and tales from Harlem Renaissance writer Ann Petry, actress Ethel Waters and leg endary blues songbirds Bessie Smith and BiUie Holiday. Dance culls slave narratives and classic black autobiographies for juicy tidbits like Amanda Smith’s “Brother Johnson’s Search for a Colored Wife.” Dance also does extensive oral research that yields folk tales “The 15 inch Pianist,” (you don’t want me to tell you why that’s funny) and “A Man Won’t Make a Fool of Me Twice.” In addition to the foreword, poetiprofessor Nikki Giovanni adds two selections the oft- repeated “Ego Trippin’” and the interesting introduction she pro vides students taking her courses at Virginia Tbch. It’s no secret that black people use humor to get through the tough times. It’s also no secret that humor sometimes masks the sorrow. Dance realizes that and uses it to make Honey Hush! a classic. Tb quote the venerable Moms, “chile, it sho’ is funny.” ‘‘IMPORTi^iNT NOTICE” Maekin^l Bonding Serving North Carolina For Many Years & BoniM-lI Bonding Co. Are ^Reioeatb^ 212 North McDowell St Suite 110 Charlotte, N.C. 28210 704-334-7997/535-1572 “Still Less Than 5 Minutes From Jail” Directly In Front Of Post Office at BARRISTER PLACE lh25'91 ' 5SPM F(HID « DRINKS “ DOOR PRIZES NOTE; There Is NO Bonding Business Being Dene At 207 N. Myers SL COME ONE - COME ALL gins of her outfit and had a map of African that pinpointed Nigeria.” Folayan turned down a request for a black Airline Barbie. “She was a white doll with a black face,” Folayan said. “There was nothing about her that I found developmentally good for my children. TTiere just was no positive.” Davis recommended gifts with open-ended activities that will stretch the child’s imagination. “Art supplies - like colors, paper, paint - or boxes with cos tume-type clothes can entertain children for hours,” Davis said. “Kitchen sets, doU houses, balls and construction toys can be enjoyed long alter Christmas day.” Safety is a major consideration for all ages, but especially for those under 3. Davis said to make sure all toy pieces are larger than the end of a toilet paper tube. When giving gifts like bicycles, skates £md skateboards, include safety equipment like helmets and knee pads. “The most important gifts can not be purchased. 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