Newspapers / Chowan University Student Newspaper / March 26, 1929, edition 1 / Page 3
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Tuesday, March 26, 1929. THE CHOWANIAN, CHOWAN COLLEGE, MURFREESBORO, N. C. Page 3 4: 4: ^ 4: 9|: ^ 4( * UNDER THE * * GREENWWOD TREE * ^ 4: 4: ^ ^ Martha B.; I’d like to ask a question about a tragedy? Mrs. Jones: Well? Martha: What is my English grade? Miss Webster: Order! Norene Baker (dreamily) : A hamburg and a cup of coffee. * * * Miss Whitney: Spell frog. J. Vick: F—r Miss Whitney: That’s right. Go on. J. Vick: Oh, gee! Miss Whitney: Correct. * .♦ S Florence B.: Rachel, how long will these flowers live? Rachel A.: Until they die. * * * Miss Willeford (to Alice Miller) : What did you do with Maggie’s temperature? Alice (frightened) : Oh, good ness, I left it in the thermometer. * * * Simple question No. 99999. “And Brutus stabbed Caesar through the heart.” “Did he die?” * * » “I love you,” he whispered, “you must not leave me.” Her eyes melted. “I adore you,” he choked, “you must stay.” Her heart melted. “I must have you,” he shouted. “I cannot bear to lose you.” Her knees melted. Then her feet, her hands, her head, and soon there was nothing left of his little snow girl. Ain’t life tough, children? * * * SO WHY STUDY! The more you study. The more you know; The more you know. The more you forget; The more you forget. The less you know; So why study? The less you study, The less you know; The less you know. The less you forget; The less you forget. The more you know; So why study? —Exchange. ♦ ♦ ★ “How do you like the way my new hat fits?” “Fine, but don’t your ears ever get tired?” —Whirlwind. THE FAMIL Y NEXT DOOR by Hines SON\t WUO OP ft COtftPUElk 1HERE'5, SO(V\CTHmG TH' WITH f\NO \ OOti'l \MHKT \T \S V(EU ^ V BUD f DO'Se OF aU’uPKV^R. \ , ftW N\0LP*=3St‘S \ /' N\E UP R\GHT '' SKL= R*t U S !•«( on _ Uro.n t., He named his child Montgomery Ward, because it was of the male order.—Min. Ski-U-Mah. * * * Irate customer (phoning to druggist) : When are you going to send me that sleeping powder? Do you think that I am going to stay awake all night waiting for it? * * * Old Tightstring glanced lovingly at the posters advertising the pan- tomine, “The Forty Thieves,” then, entering the gallery en^ trance, placed half a dollar before the man seated in the box. “Gim me a good seat,” he cried. Silent ly the box office attendant took the fifty cents and slipped a small paste-board ticket through the aperture. “Change,” demanded Tightstring, impatiently. “No change; balcony fifty cents,” an swered the cashier. For one mo ment Tightstring viewed the im- perturable countenance in the box, then slowly handed back the slip of pasteboard. “Keep it,” he said quietly, “I don’t want to see the other thirty-nine.”—Ex. 9|C * * First Loafer: I hear all the men have gone on a strike. Second Loafer: What have they struck for? F. L.: Shorter hours: S. L.: Luck to ’em. I alius did say that sixty minutes was too long for an hour.—Watchman- Examiner. * * * Traffic Cop: Use your noodle, lady! Use your noodle! Lady: My goodness, where is it? I’ve pushed and pulled every thing in the car.—Wampus. * * ♦ “Ge Mom, a truck just run over Pop and mashed him all over the pavement.” “Arthur! How often have I told you not to tell me such things when I’m eating!”—Sun Dial. * * * Mama: What do you say to the nice man who gave you the apple, Gertrude? Gertrude: Peel it.—Goblin. ♦ ♦ * The story is going around about a football player in a small col lege who was unusually dumb. To the surprise of everyone he pass ed all of his work, including a spe cial examination in chemistry. The chemistry professor was asked about it, and he said, “I decided that I would let him pass if he answered 50 per cent of the ques tions correctly. “I asked him two questions— one he answered wrong—one he answered right. Therefore, I let Did you ever come to your senses and realize that you were the dumbest dumbell in creation? If you did, you know how to ap preciate the dawning of that real ization on me this evening. This is how it happened: I had a birthday. I didn’t announce the fact; I’ve had too many birthdays to count—I can no longer pass for sweet sixteen, — and not enough to brag about, for I have not yet passed the three-score- and-ten post. Somehow, though, news of the anniversary of my advent got out—possibly through a package from my family, and a very good friend who has been my right-hand helper at table all the year took the matter up. She gave me a birtday dinner. First, there was a birthday greeting at my plate. I read it with surprise and more of pleas- him pass. “The first question was ‘What color is blue vitriol?’ He answered ‘Pink.’ That time he was wrong. “The other question was ‘How do you make sulphuric acid?’ He answered that he didn’t know. That time he was right.”—Ex. * * « Absent Minded Professor (com ing home at night) : Do I hear any one? Burglar (under bed): No! Professor: That’s odd; I was positive I heard someone under the bed.—Kitty-Kat. }|c * The nervous passenger ap proached the captain timidly. “What would happen, sir,” she asked, “if we struck an iceberg?” “The iceberg would pass along as if nothing had happened,” re plied the captain. And the old lady was very relieved.—Prince ton Tiger. AN EGOTISTICAL CHAPTER the giver. Then I exclaimed over the elaborate and exceptionally appetizing dinner we were having and inquired where our guests were. There didn’t seem to be any in the dining room just then, so I began to eat, with one eye on the door, so to speak, expecting every minute to see solomon or the Queen of Sheba enter tardily. Both seemed indefinitely delayed; indeed, neither has arrived yet. Gradually it dawned on me that not all the tables were having steak for dinner, and that there was a decided connection between that dish and the birthday card at my plate. I acknowledged it gratefully, even if I had been slow in seeing the fact. Lettuce and tomato salad came next. I marveled at their being served out of season, and looked again for the entrance of the Queen of Sheba. By acci dent I blundered upon the information that the salad was peculiar to my table, and then I put two and two together and de duced the knowledge that the salad was somewhat related to the steak and card, and that the espe cially delicious cakes to go with the ice cream were too! I was having a sure enough birthday dinner! “Clever deduction! Astonish ingly clever deduction,” I hear you say. Save your breath; I’ll say it for you: “Dumbell! Supulative dum bell.” But anyhow I enjoyed the din ner, and am even more grateful for the celebration than if I had known about it from the begin ning. Thank you, Wilma! Bertha Carroll, March 19. P. S.: March 20. It has just dawned on me that the coffee was served in honor of my birthday. Miss Wfibster says that either I’m the prize idiot as a learner or she is as a teacher, for we have lived together in Stone Cottalge since September, and I’ll still dumb. Bertha Carroll. One of five planes which search ed the Atlantic Coast Sunday, re-yj turned late to report no trace had been found of the plane with four men which disappeared Friday morning on a flight from Norfolk, Va., to New York. W. J. M. HOLLAND & SON Funeral Home Ambulance Service Phones 36, 46, 238 Franklin, Virginia J Shop With Wynn Bros. Murfreesboro*s Greatest Store The Home of Exclusive Styles In Women^s Apparel ' YOUNG’S CHAIN STORES 12 Busy Stores Visit Us When In Scotland Neck or Ahoskie! BARNES-SAWYER GROCERY CO., Inc. AHOSKIE, N, C. We Sell To Dealers Only! Nine Years of Service in Our Beloved Roanoke-Chowan Section. We Will Thank You to Continue to Give Us Orders GO TO U. VAUGHAN’S For Dry Goods, Notions, Shoes, Etc. Murfreesboro, N. C. WE Have a Complete Line of Toilet Articles and Cosmetics. Let Us Supply Your Needs. THE VIRGINIAN Franklin, Virginia Soda, Drugs, Toilet Articles, Candies, Etc. “In Business for Your Health!” Vi: MISS NAOMI T. WIGGINS SPECIALIZING IN LADIES HATS, HOSE AND UNDERWEAR Murfreesboro, N. C. Eastern Cotton Oil Company Weldon, North Carolina Manufacturers of Cotton Seed Products Dealers In Eastern’s Fertilizers Use Eastern’s Hog and Poultry Feed Harrell & Holloman Drugs, Toilet Articles, Patent Medicines, Cigars, Cigarretts Fountain Drinks AT YOUR SERVICE Vc: Farmers Mutual Fire Insurance Association Northampton, Hertford and Bertie Branch Rich Square; N. C. “Ahoskie’s Fashion Center” BRITTON’S EVERYTHING FOR THE WOMAN Largest and Most Complete Stock of Woman’s Wear in Roanoke-Chowan Section. Ahoskie, N. C. UNDERWOOD BROTHERS Authorized Sales Service ford LINCOLN FORDSON Murfreesboro, N. C. The Peoples Bank MURFREESBORO, N. C. Chowan College Faculty and Students WE DESIRE TO EXTEND TO YOU A HEARTY WELCOME TO OUR TOWN, AND TO ASSURE YOU THAT IT WILL BE A PLEASURE TO EXTEND TO YOU EVERY COURTESY AND ACCOMMODA TION CONSISTENT IN SOME BANKING.
Chowan University Student Newspaper
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March 26, 1929, edition 1
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