Newspapers / The Hornet (Bixby, N.C.) / Sept. 8, 1915, edition 1 / Page 1
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mini unDirpm liih HUKrlhl Vol. VII FORK, NORTH CAROLINA, Sept. Sth, 1915 No. 2 ^^^Mi^^i^^i^i^^iH^ I NOTICE! 1 J We wish to explain that r J this isnot THE HORNET'S ♦♦♦ V regular size This is one o our Vacation Issues, and we ^ A will get back to normal in another issue or so. So just X hold your potato now and Y we’ll come properly dressed Y after a bit.- ♦H H H H H H H H * H H H H f It Sums Itself Up Dogon my lousy liver. I’m going to stand pat until there ain’t enough of me left to cover a flea bite, pro vided I was court plaster, which I am not as good as. I’m done petered, all but my name, and it ain’t got no credit any more, but I don’t want the devilish Demo crats to know that I think so. I ain’t mashed on myself nary bit, but catch me a saying so if you can. I’m ashamed of myself—drot it if I ain’t—but I wouldn’t own it, not even to old man Joe Cannon. I’m going to stick to the interests, till the last hair slips, and then con tinue to stick like a hungry tick to a nigger’s shin. The standpatters is my right arm, and the Teddyites in my left arm and our departed brethren, Nels Aldrich, Bill McKinley and Mark Hanna, are our legs and they being dead is the reason we can’t travel like we use to do. My right arm got paralyzed in 1912 and my how funny it felt, but I done some wild slashing with my left arm, you remember. I change, as you well know, And changing ain’t no sin. Wise men change, but fools don’t. And that’s the reason I change. I’ve turned many a political som erset with such velocity that it left my naval in the small of my back. A "Drummer’s” Discovery Democratic supremacy and Demo cratic control in the Nation is having its effect. A traveling man who “makes” most of the states west of the Missis sippi made this remark the other day: “There are not as many cheap skates, half-crooks and demagogues in politics as there used to be. I see the effect, but I don’t know the! cause.” The estimate of this drummer is correct but we can’t see why the devil he can’t discover the cause. The Republican pretenders, the “four-flushers,” and the fakers and the blatherskites haven’t the easy j picking they enjoyed, say, for 16 years under G. 0. P. Pry. The vot ers rounded up this kind when they put all Republicanism on the blink in 1910 and 1912. This is not to assert that the politi cal millennium is at hand. It is yet a few centuries off, human nature be- ’ ing human nature. There are still demagogues visible to the naked eye. The fakers yet flourish in our midst. The buncombe-artist, the inciter of prejudice and passion, the player on! ignorance, still spout from the barrel- head or other convenient platform. But there are less of them, they hold power more precariously, and! they are, above all, being compelled to change their styles and paces. The people have found out the Republican type of demagogue and buffoon. The Republican predigested conviction from “boss” to “rank and filer” is becoming unfashionable. The penal ty of following the incendiary and the flannel-mouth has been borne home. It is harder than ever to fool the “proletariat,” sounding phrases won’t do it. Mere promises won’t do it. Something more substantial must be offered. In conclusion, we want to remind the Republican “bosses” that they can fool part of their “one-gallus” following all the time and all of them part of the time, but by Ned, they haven’t been able to fool all of them all the time. This Does Us Good As good praise as THE-HORNET' has yet received came in from a. reader away out in Utah. He said! THE HORNET drops in on him every two weeks like “some pleasant dream.” He pronounced THE HOR NET “ a rain-bow of hope,” “Pando ra’s box.” Its presence acts as a life elixir; it is a destroyer of the blues, a dispeller of ill forebodings. The look of de pression on one’s face will disappear before its sunny smile, its cheeriness,, as frost before the morning sun. Gift ed with natural wit, it can furnish wholesome amusement by the hour to one, a dozen, or a thousand, and keep them laughing until the tears of Democratic joy flow down their cheeks unbidden, but it will give a. Republican pleurisy-pains and mental appendicitis. He says further, “it turns away the burden from the heavy latten: breast, drives away dull care, and’ makes one have a feeling of sweet: contentment.” Truth in a Nut Shell The Hornet has said a great deafl about the Republican party and we? haven’t said enough. The fact about; the matter is that a common cuss; stands about as much chance, with? the; big pussle gutters as the proverbal’ celluloid cat has of catching the as bestos rat in a lake of fire which the: Russelites tell us does not exist.. One of our subscribers writes- THE: HORNET and asks: when will the: Democratic Party die? When the* Mississippi River runs backward^; when women quit loving money and! fine clothes; when snakes walk on legs and their bite don’t poison men’s; toes; when Plymouth Rock roosters look like Leghorn hens; when Ui S. marshalls quit helping run wild cat stills; when there can be a hollow without two hills;, when the Republi cans stop lieing and their “Rime ducks” quit crying; when Teddy quits running and goes: to- walking; and quits so dura much talking;.
The Hornet (Bixby, N.C.)
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Sept. 8, 1915, edition 1
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