Lk., . T: ". ' .' v ' "
brisbane\
THIS WEEK
Childhood
Tugwell's Little Girl
Holland Buys Planes
Rev. Webber Knows
Childhood lasts longer in France
than in America and it is real child
hood. Boys in
their teens, writI
ing letters, call
| their^ fathers
American "prep"
5 that such things
.... ? , . as francs exist, ,
Arthur Bri?bnne , , , I
when much old- .
er than Assistant Secretary Tugwell's
intelligent young daughter,
Marcia, aged twelve, who, in partnership
with her friends, Mary
Frances Cottrell and Joyce Hel- ,
mick, organized "a laundry for
washing dogs." They advertised:
"Small dogs, 30 cents; middle-sized
dogs, 35 cents; groomed and
washed. Dogs not good-natured
must be sent with muzzles, and we
cannot wash large dogs."
Too bad that parental severity
broke up the dog laundry. It had
announced working hours "10 a. m.
to 5 p. m. on Saturdays," the studious
little girls' only holiday, "all
hours after school on other weekdays."
What a good example for government
enterprises: the little girls
really meant to work to "groom
and wash" the dogs, not merely
stand around and collect the 30
cents.
acre than any other plant, mor
calories per pound than any othe
fresh fruit and, in some large spe
cies, produces more food per singl
fruit than any other member of th
vegetable kingdom, says Collier'
Weekly. Huge bananas grown i
East Africa and Cochin-China ai
two feet long, as thick as a man'
arm and contain sufficient food t
make an adequate meal for thrc
men.
551
about:
Presidential Straw Votes.
Bohemian grove,
calif.?Every baby, as
I've always heard, is born with
a soft spot in its head, and once
in a while there's one who
never gets over it, but grows
up and, in presidential years,
goes around taking straw votes
on railroad trains in order
definitely to find out which
ticket will be elected.
He is a kindred spirit to the other
fellow, who, to settle the whole issue
right now and
you a cool thousand I
that his man beats
your man, and then,
types within the ten Irvin S. Cobb
days befo're coming
here and being fearful that both
species is going to multiply rapidly
during the ensuing three months,
I'm thinking seriously of taking the
veil until after the campaign ends.
Politics certainly does breed its
ticks.
*
The Little Red School House.
YES, in my early days we also
had the little red schoolhouse.
Maybe the reason we liked it then
was that it got its red tone from
the paint on the outside and not
from the teaching staff on the inside.
Likewise, in those unprogressive
times, we thought the youth of the
land should be taught to cherish
the American flag for something
besides private hissing purposes.
Hopelessly old fashioned, eh, what?
*
The Dictator Business.
TT LOOKS as though, when the
* battle dust lifts from that distracted
country, Spain will have a
dictator, dictators being fashionable.
It seems to be comparatively
easy to make a success of it, too.
Just follow a formula:
Make it a blasphemous violation
of the first commandment for anyone
to assign you second place.
Be sure all sentences personally
uttered begin with the capital letter
"I" and end with the pronoun
"me."
Convince yourself that, in order
ever to behold any human being
who is your equal in moral and
mental stature, you must carry
about with you a full-length mirror.
Never permit yourself to be photographed
in your nightshirt, but
always in full uniform.
On arising, lock the jaws and
clench the fists and leave 'em that
way all day.
And?this is very importanthave
a dependable police force and
somebody to pick on, preferably
somebody without any friends.
*
Political Claim-Alls.
0 WINKING JEEMS FARLEY
announces the Democrats will
carry every division of the Union,
although privately he is said to be
a little bit doubtful of two very
backward counties in Vermont.
While generously conceding the
central part of Mississippi and the
western end of Kentucky to the
enemy, diffident John Hamilton is
sure the Republicans will sweep
everything else.
Congressman Lemke, most modest
of the claimers, is certain he'll
win in 40 states. Really, he doesn't
need that many, but 40's a nice
even number. If the shy Dr. Townsend
also should run, he counts on
20,000,000 votes in this country, besides
clean-cut majorities in Sweden,
New South Wales and the Island
of Yap.
*
Oxen Versus Onions.
\\^ITH no aim to set up as a
, Z. ,,P?5iali,t human behavior,
I think I've stumbled on a signifi
cant, timely discovery. I found ir
a scientific work this statement"Each
living growth has to begir
in a single microscopic cell. More
over, every future thing of eithei
animal or vegetable kingdom con
tains in that first cell a fixed num
ber of even more infinitesimal bod
les called chromosomes. In the ox
the guinea pig, the man and th<
onion the number is the same in
variably."
1 contend this natural kinship ij
classification may explain why h
campaign years, some of us an
bellowing oxen, some are docil.
guinea pigs and most of the rest o
us are just plain onions.
IRVIN S. COBB.
??Wlfu Service.
Bananas Give More Food
The banana gives more food pe
Plucky little Holland and ner
wise queen seem to have decided
that the 1914 "war to end all wars"
did not finish its job. Holland went
through the big war safely, selling
butter, cheese, eggs, not disturbed,
not making any bad $10,000,000,0u0
loans.
Now Holland Is buying 13 heavy
bombing planes in Baltimore, I
spending $1,500,000 for the 13, and
spending many other millions for j
other killing machinery.
That mearte work and wages in
Baltimore; it may mean poison gas
and death for some of Holland's
neighbors.
Foreign countries read everything
said about them in America;
not that foreign countries care
what Americans think, or attach
importance to American opinion,
as such; but America has money,
raw products, and governments
that are sometimes whimsical,
changeable and boyish.
Europe, Asia and Africa watch
with equal interest statements of
Americans that count and more
numerous Americans that float
like feathers in the air.
One simple - minded Russian
pointed with pride to the statement
of a clergyman in our Union Theological
seminary.
That gentleman, Rev. Charles C.
Webber, has a plan for a better
government, not based on the text
about rendering unto Caesar that
which is Caesar's. The big idea is
to take away what is Caesa -'s.
Eight hundred young people j
were told by Reverend Webber; |
"God, who is not content with !
things as they are, is a revolution- j
ary Being, constantly seeking to
make all things new."
Rev. Webber, "recognizing this,"
about God being a revolutionist, j
has a plan to help God in his efforts;
a plan as simple as A, B, C.
Capitalism, he says, must be abol-;
ished. Rev. Webber wants a
planned and planning social economy
in the United States. Under 1
the Charles C. Webber plan, peo- i
pie would own and manage such j
things as industry and property;
no money would be spent for war,
and youth would rule.
J
Those brought up with the old- |
fashioned idea of God might ask f
Rev. Webber, respectfully: "If God i
really is a revolutionary 'constantly
seeking to make all things new,'
why does He not carry out His will
and 'make all things new' every
few minutes? Can it be that He
needs the help of Rev. Webber?
Lenin and Stalin got along without
that help."
Also arises this question: With
capitalism abolished, who would
build the churches, the Union Theological
seminaries, and pay salaries
to Rev. Webbers for reading
the mind of the Divinity?
Dean Swift should have known
Rev. Webber when he /rote his
trfle of a tub.
France calls Paris the "aerial
port of Europe," proudly. In America
the still prouder title "Chief Air
Traffic Port of the Whole World" is
claimed by Miami, Los Angeles,
San Diego, Chicago, Cleveland, and
with a great deal of reason by San
Franciscc and Oakland, thanks to
the magnificent bay, and to the fact
that the greatest air line, running
from America to Asia, starts from
that neighborhood.
C Kins Feat urn Syndicate. Inc.
WNU Service.
THE STATE PORT PILOT,
Scenes and Pei
I jy^* jaMPCj^yfry Jiil^jN?P**?*T?? I
jL? //J Aj^RSl? JkLJ^t ) ?, M Jj
1?Gen. Edward Rydz-Smigly, who 1
drops him into the boots of the late Mars
government tries to crush the military r
their fallen comrades in Washington, D. C
Perry Is Tennis Champ
* v
II
Wimbledon, England.?Baron Gottfriec
congratulates Fred Perry of England, wh
to win the men's singles at Wimbledon
The German, however, injured a thigh m
GIVES ALL TO CHARITY
In a momentous decision based
on "divine inspiration," Elsie Janis,
1 one-time popular stage star and
"sweetheart of the A. E. F." during
the World war, has disclosed (left
plans to dispose of her worldly pos- race
sessions and to devote the proceeds San
arts) Vtn* Ufa lnfal rhnritiPC hfllll
Civilians and Th<
I
*$r
"O 1
;e Tokyo.?Civilians and their dogs pai
in a demonstration ot the preparedness <
come*.
m
SOUTH PORT, N. ^
rsons in the Cu
'Ikj
?' y- i^flBMlw^SBWCBMSijEB jEsSs
lias been proclaimed Poland's fi
hal Pilsudski. 2?Tanks rumble t
evolt. 3?Veterans of the Secon<
i for Third Time
_ . ,'ij
WM' rl
HHi"-" tv, -mm
1 von Cramm of Germany (left)
o defeated him in straight sets
for the third successive year,
uscle in the first set.
51-Foot Yawl Win
"You're first to finish!" James
1), owner of the 51-foot yawl Don
! in America?2,225 miles from Cz
Francisco, crossed the finish line
rs 46 minutes and 53% seconds.
sir Dogs Parad<
#??.&.>: ', 'zz M,,'ym? ,< * ?- agS ',||
< >1 - Hi Ck M I - I
ade through the streets ol the J:
of the civilian population tor a gs
k.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12,1
irrent News
rst citizen, a post which virtually
irough Spain's cities, as the leftist
division dedicate a memorial to
FILLS FARLEY'S POST
William W. Howes, who is acting
postmaster general during the
leave of absence of Postmaster
General James A. Farley, who is
directing the Democratic party's
campaign to re-elect President
Roosevelt. Mr. Howes' regular
post is first assistant postmaster
general.
s Honolulu Race
I 'Xgy* ...
WmfS Ik m
' i '
r '
H i I pj
Wilder, judge, tells James Flood
ide, at the end of the longest yacht
ilifornia to Honolulu. The Dorade, of
; with an elapsed time of 13 days 7
The Circe, of Seattle, was second.
5 in Gas Masks
m
ipanese capital wearing gas masks
is attack when and il the next war
' ' " J,K
936
National Topics Interpreted
by William Br
National Press Bulldlntj W?
Washington.?The United States r
is being given an object lesson in a
what happens when d
The People government at- g
Must Pay tempts to interfere t
with nature.
American farmers these days are
threshing their wheat crop. The c
production is that of a reduced acreage,
an acreage that was planned
on theory by the Department of
Agriculture. The result is that this
year's American wheat crop will h
'approximate 640,000,000 bushels, t
That is about 145,000,000 bushels g
less than the average crop during f
the five years from 1929 to 1933. t
The result is a shortage. c
Department of Agriculture fig- r
ures indicate that the total wheat '
crop in the world this year will be t
something like 650,000,000 bushels r
below the annual production. In ?
other words, the wheat crop is ?
short everywhere on earth and the f
result is obvious.
In our own case, there is normal- J
ly a carry-over each year of about 1
125,000,000 bushels but due to the i
shortage of the crop this year that I
carry-over is insufficient to make t
up the needs of domestic consump- t
tion. c
Consequently, we soon will see c
heavy importations of Canadian 1
wheat, a wheat that can be blended 1
in milling with our own production 1
and a very satisfactory flour re- 1
stilts. Yet, it must be remem- e
bered that on all importations of (
wheat from Canada or anywhere 1
else, a tariff of 42 cents a bushel '
must be paid. It is clear, therefore, *
that consumers of bread must pay j
that tariff because the importers '
are going to pass that item of ex- (
pense along as part of the cost of
the flour. In addition to the short- \
age in the United States, Canadian (
wheat production is reported to be c
something like 100,000,000 bushels s
unaer normal, mere is sumcieni
production in Canada to permit of
export, of course, but the shortage ?
is bound to be reflected in the
prices.
And mention of the price brings
us back to the individual effect of
the combination of acreage, re- ;
duced by government edict, plus
the act of nature in visiting a
drouth upon us. Scarcity always
results in higher prices. It is the
operation of the law of supply and
demand. The Roosevelt farm policy
has been predicated on the theory
that scarcity would produce
higher prices and thereby add to
the farm income. But drouth and
other production hazards cannot be
predicted and, therefore, the American
people find themselves in a
position where the unpredictable
has happened and the farmers are
not getting the benefit of higher
prices on a natural and normal
production.
There seems to be a stronger
demand for wheat now than at any
time during the
Industry last five or six
Opens Up years. It indicates
a restoration of
buying power on the part of the
masses. In other words, industry
again is opening up to some extent
and employing workers although
the increase in employment
has been small thus far.
In consequence of this combination
of circumstances, there is
now a seller's market in wheat instead
of a buyer's market in wheat.
To say it anotner way, there are
more people seeking to buy wheat
than there are seeking to sell it
and the consumers of flour will pay
the bill. By way of contrast with
present conditions, it may be pointed
out that world wheat consumption
has exceeded world wheat production
in every year except one
since 1929. In the 1932 crop year
there was slightly more wheat produced
in the world than was consumed.
The result of the steady
growth in consumption over production
in the last few years has
been to wipe out all of the carryover?wheat
stored in bins and elevators
throughout the world?and
in every country users of wheat are
scraping the bottoms of their bins.
The tragedy of it all is that, because
of the reduced acreage and
the drouth in the United States,
American farmers are not in a position
to take advantage of the higher
prices thus established by the
sale of surplus wheat which may
have been accumulated if the
acreage had been normal.
Instead of the United States real- i
1 v orvr?f*.rx1i;?? 1?A * s * 1 S
?j vvuwiuuuig uic uidiAci iur wncsif ^
we are in a position where a good
many other countries may be en- 2
couraged to grow more wheat The
natural and obvious results of this
will be to further curtail the outlet
for American wheat which so long
has been relied on by many foreign
nations that are non-producers of
wheat
I do not know how far the New .
Deal intends to go in revising its ^
basic economic policy regarding
crop controlling. I can be sure of .
only one thing in regard to the j
New Deal plans: The visitation of ?
the drought in two years in which t
the political planners of the New j
Deal attempted to upset natural t
laws has proved the inability of
mhlngton, D. C. j|=j!fl^^B
nan to alter the course
rtd by the same token tw^^M
litions have pr oved theVH
;overnment to change h'~?M
i i
A year or two ago, a
if the American Bar asjhJ^H
Bar Offers fl
New Plan the New f^H
laving created so rr.aay
o which had been given
ilmost like the courts.
lort pointed out how such
he now dead NRA and theT^M
lead AAA could issue ru^^H
egulations that were enlorcejuJ^H
aw. They called attention t?0
urther fact that countless ot tjH
ules and regulations carneiJ^H
ind severe penalties, eves
ixtent of a jail term lor jj
ridual violator.
Lately, another committee
Vmerican Bar association hsiJ^H
ished another report, again ci^H
ittention to the un-American
>les established in such ko^H
iratic control. It offers a
ive proposal for the elhriy^H
if bureaucratic management)!^?
lividual affairs from Washitg^H
t proposes the establishment
idministration court which
tave power to enforce these r^H
,_j ? *
uiu icguiauuua DUI viltJuld
squipped with the judicial r'r;l
ietermination so that the thotX
lpon thousands of regulatioqX
heir various penalties wjli^B
)e enforced upon an
:used of their violation *it'.?B
ng that alleged violator tin X
>f a hearing.
Ultimately, the proposed c^|
vould take over the judicial iX
if all of the administrative
ties in Washington now owrJaX
;omething like 75.
* |
I suppose the condition ci:H
txplained by the fact that
of new bu^H
Too Many have been
Bureaus u"d" the J
of New DealbS
tnd that in the haste to get
nto operation, no co-ordinatix^B
tad between the various grtq^|
>ut it is my belief that ph^H
titizens cannot be blamed toc^H
tondition. Since they carxttfl
>lamed for failure of govercafl
o function properly, they ougbi^J
>e compelled to answer forhetH
lifferences in law which
:rats nave wriuen unaer auiu*
>f congress to dralt necessary
llations. H
Sooner or later the public
ng to become fully aware at*
lerious character ol this sih*
t can be safely predicted. IS*
hat when the general public*
ind out what has happened.!*
vrath will not be easily appa*
After all, congress is rei*
jlame for this condition. Itn*
hrough laws which P*
Roosevelt demanded and it<bd*
ake time to debate the pro*
ior did it examine the sectiffl*
m0w fully what results M
rom them. In many cases*
nany, statements of ger.er.1*
ative policy were no. de?i*
:ongress abdicated its duties
vrite whatever rules andi W*
ions were found to be news*
iome authority of tms to a*
tas been given to order T*
he national laws flexible *
lever have been given ? "
ixtent as they have u> tbe*
hree years.
Insufficient time hasi W*
ince the American Bar
:ommittee came sai lafl
ninistrative court pr?P?' m
analysis to be made of
ialities. It may. and
ioes have weaknesses^ m
lowever, have a a ..j*
he general idea ,vhetbetfl
ody should . 'vic;at(dB
ndividual citizen tatthe*
.ureaucrat's law and*
vlty Should be rath
hat bureaucrat sit ? J *
udge and yury ta. teJWI
ridual citizen what hTprob.b,ywmb?,a?fJ
very f -? 3
ooking for loopbotes.*
nstance, it seems >
can Bar association
:erves the hlg ''f. ld!v awjj
or speaking out V.kI
idmittedly bad cond
o me, likewise that i aSM
ee, instead of ^ ^
nust be praised hurea**
lecause as long (ct*
:ontinue to exerci uridyl
hey are now exer T,.0 sit^B
hority from (or .:*
institutes a field ^1?
rers. Few, if any- ^ i:M
of Washington M
nto the Capita] city, find die
'y that has charged tiiem
ation of a bureaucrat's
it the same time know ho? ?'W
end himself. He lias to
awyer and that makes >" f
dona] burden upon business
I