The
Scrap Book
Retired at Ten.
lie (after nil elopement from a mrnl
Bunnner resort I My dear, you told me
the nlnlit I proposed that your father
bad retired from business, but I now
learn tie' Is a peanut vender.
She No. I didn't do anything of the
ort. You remarked about half past
10 o'clock ut night that you supposed
my father was in the city Immersed
la business, and 1 said he had retired.
He always pies to bed at 10.
MY CREEP.
Whoever wns hrgntttm by pure love
And ciituc d.-sire.l and welcoina Into life
Is of immaculate conception.
He whose heart is full of lemlernesa and
truth.
Who Imvis mankind more than he loves
himself.
And rar.no t tlnd room in his heart for
hat,
May he another Christ. We all may be
The saviors of the world if we believe
In the dhlrlty which dwells In us
And worship It and nail our grosser
seh es.
Our tempers. Breeds and our unworthy
l.l.ns
T'pon the cross. Who Klvetii love to all.
Pays I:in hoss for unklndness, smiles for
ft-
each fainting
And lends new ooura
he:irt
And s renihens hope and scatters Joy
abroad.
He, too, 3 a redeemer son of God.
i:i!a Wheeler Wilcox.
She Had Him That Time.
It Nil:-, llio same old story of n man
who ivi'i'iscl to tell his wife the out
come of a business transa. 'lion lu
which naturally she took a deep In
terest. "No." lie sneered, "I won't tell you.
If I did you'd repeat It. You women
can nc cr keep a secret."
"John." said the woman quietly,
"have I ever told the secret about the
solitaire engagement ring you gave
nie eighteen years ago being paste?"
Indies' Home Journal.
that the old man should hare come t
meet him, the squire asked if ther
waj had news.
"Yes, sir," replied the butler; "very
bad news. The old magpie is deud,
sir."
"What did the bird die of?"
"Too much horseflesh, sir."
"Too much horseflesh, John! Wher
did it get it?"
"The carriage horses, sir."
"What: Are they dead too?"
"Yes. sir. Pled from overexertion
drawing water the night of the fire."
"What tire?"
"The mansion, sir."
"Y'nti don't mean to say that the
mansion Is burned, John''"
"Yes, sir; it burned the night of th
funeral, sir."
"Whose funeral?"
"Y'otir poor mother's, sir."
"What, mother tieaj too?"
"Yes, sir; she never held her head
up after your (ior father died?"
"tlreat heaven! Father dead! I nev
er heard a word of any of these mis
fortunes. What was the cause of uiy
father's death?"
"Well, sir, it was this way. lie re
ceived a telegram tc-llii'g him 1 Mat the
ship had gone down that had the wholo
of Ills fortune on board, and the .shock
of it killed him."
"John, I am entirely ruined!"
"That you are, sir."
When in.
BALTIMORE
STOP AT THE
(S&SP 130 Rooms
.nSfeieasstS-a. Elegantly
Furnished
iiiQTEL
lURCI 3
Cuisine
Rooms
With Bath
and vn Suite
Centrally Located'"
Opposite Camden Station
Main Depot B. & O. R. R.
Rates SI. 00 Per Day
And Upwards
SEND 1 OR BOOKLET
Hotel Joyce
li.iltimore, Md.
QUICK REPAIR.
SKILLED WORKMANSHIP.
This is the watchword of
N. MELTON.
T5he
RANDLEMAN JEWELER
Your watch needs repairing,
Your sewin machine runs hard,
Your clock can't be depended on.
These will be made as good a?
new if sent to me for repair.
I pay express or registered
mail charpes one way.
N. MELTON,
Randolph Ildw. Store
Randleman, N. O
51dg.,
As He Understood It. !
Little Johnny was hustled off to
eluiivh Sunday morning with the ad
monition that if lie eould not remem
ber the tevt he e Wt g out that aft
ernoon. At the iK-.'iier table he was
itsUed the text of !ho Kor.imn and said:
"Pon't be afraid: .n.'ll git ilia
quilt."
The mother laugliing'y replied. "You
must be mistaken. Johnny." Hut he
was sure he was right. Imring the,
week the pastor railed, when it wasi
learned that the text was. "Fear wt;'
the comforter will eoaie." t 'hleago
Tribune. i
"My dear,"
want you :
town hall to i
W hat for
lowly other h
"I am to lo'
Married Lib
"and I want :
it ud pose as
Chicago Ne- s
-''. Example.
a ill Mrs. Strongmlnd, "I
accompany me to the
utow evening."
ipieried the meek and
f of the combine,
ire on the 'Park Side of
' " explained Mrs. S.,
in to sit on the platform
:c of the illustrations."
STOP A7 THE
New Princess
HOTEL
WHEN AT
ATLANTIC CITY
i
The PolitJ P'anter. j
"1 was stopping with a Mississippi ,
planter for a lew days," said the colo-1
liel. "and cue afternoon 1 fell asleep
In it hammock on the veranda. I had
slept for more than an hour when I !
heard the step of the planter, and a
minute later he stood over me and
eald:
" 'Kurnel, would yo' oblige me by
waking t:pV
" 'Certainly,' I replied as I roused up.
" 'And now would you oblige me by
walking around to the rear of the
house V
"He walked with me, and I noticed
that the sky was growing dark and
that there was a peculiar looking cloud
In the southwest. In the rear of the
house was what I toot for an outdoor
cellar, but when we reached it the
planter pointed and said:
" 'And now if yo' will kindly enter
our cyclone proof cellar I shall esteem
It a g-eat favor.'
"I entered to find all the family
there, and two minutes later a cyclone
came whirling along, unroofed the
house and tore up several trees 100
years old. I always wondered why the
planter didn't yell at ine and ewear,
but his way was the gentle and cour
teous way."
W; y tho Plaster Didn't Stick.
For the fii-st time In his life Daddy
O'Alligtn felt very ill, and the doctor
hail sent a porous plaster to ease the
palu in bis back.
"Well. Iiaddy," said the doctor next
day. "did the plaster do you any
goo.I?"
'Oi can't say that it has helped nie
much up to now, but you know 01 only
took it la. t night."
"Took It V What do you mean?"
"Mane? Oi mane that 01 chewed
Ami chewed for half an hour on the
ould thing, and then OI had to send it
down hull. Scents to me if they'd bile
the plasters a little more and not put
bo much p-'pper in they'd be easier to
chew t'p am wouldn't scorch a body's
lnsoide so."
Slightly Mixed.
A Kansas man and his family had
(lathered around the supper table, and
nil heads were bowed for him to ask
a blessing when the telephone bell
rang. The man answered it and. coin
ing back to the table, again bowed his
head, but again the telephone rang,
lie answered that call, then for the
third time seated himself and. bowing
his head, said. "Ilellor-Llppincott's.
A Fimncial Pessimist.
Oaye Yes. he Is what you might
term a fini.n : il pessimist. Myers ;
V.hat's a financial pessimist? (Jaye
A man who ,s afraid to look pleasant'
for fear his friends will want to bor- j
row somethli:L'.
mm
Accidental.
Alice Flow did you come to meet
your second husband, Grace? Orneo
It was purely accidental. lie ran
over my Aim one with a motor ear
nud afterwati! attended the funeral.
A Cheerful Giver.
Hobby's father had given him a ten
cent piece and a quarter, telling him
he might put one or the oilier mi the
contribution plate on Kaster Sunday.
"Which did you give. Hobby?" his
father asked when the boy rame home
from church.
"Well, father, I thought nt first I
ought to put lu the quarter, but then
just in time I remembered, 'The Lord
loveth a cheerful giver,' and I knew
I could give the ten cent piece a great
deal more cheerfully, so I put that In."
A Crash.
"John, what was that awful noise In
the bathroom just now?"
"Don't worry, my dear," replied
John sleepily. "It was merely a crash
towel falling" Milwaukee Sentinel.
rs-e- nil m
City i
(mill Ikiirh
1 rurn.
.... u.,.1
Smilti Curolnm Ae . um ftfi
Tin III,.-. H..I. i l 1,1
1 tin.. nci. .:.' viih urn- in..
i' rn i. lea-acs i,.r conv
iiii.ut ii lie iM.lf
i.l p'lv'l, .' ..( ii,,. Atlanlie
b.i... s.uiu ... UieKUuM'.
An'. r-r.iii hp. I Kiimm im l'lmi.
AHOOKl.F Vw.il h.- xlauly (urnicheU
U on ;;,.) iiiation.
lin'. lir . In M-. ii si.50 ,0 $,t(,.(io
1MTW. . K III ' . l.ni'l.' Ill JO. Mill. II III I III'
pK.m l'..i fu.... ii. i, rmai.iai ..ilrtri'.-s
CROUELl. V COLLIER,
'II IK rillXCM IIOTKIj,
Ali.lllll "v, X.J.
Opinion.
Opinion Is a light, vain, crude and
imperfect thing nettled In the Imagina
tion, but never arriving nt the under
standing, thre to obtain the tincture
of reason. Pen Jon son.
CAPUDINE
CURES izw.
indigestion and
What Pa pi Said.
Ill- "eaeher was having a hard time
explaining the geography lesson.
"Tommy, ypu can learn this if you
m::ke up your mind. It's not one bit
smart b appear dull. I know that
you are just as bright as any boy in
the class. Keuiember, Tommy, where
there's a will there's"
"Aw." broke In Tommy, "I know all
da'. 1 do' Me fadder's a lawyer, an'
I'e heard hlui say It lota o' times."
"You shoiihl not have Interrupted
me but I am glad that your fa:her has
taught ;o i the old adage. Cun you
repeat It to me?"
"Sure .Me fadder says dat where
der's a wl!1 der's always a bunch o'
poor relations " Lippiniott's.
Didn't Charge Them Cent.
The ninth chapter of Matthew wil
under consideration by a class of boys,
the chapter belujj read verse by verse
aud then ijuestlons asked by the teach
er on the ! :: sages read Thi uecount
of the r. ! of Jalrus' daughter coil-
cUitle'- '. ipter, and the last verse
Ive is ns follows: "And
iciu straltly that no man
it nnd commii'ided that
utld be gl on he- to eat "
:-!ced In -o
Of the
he cha"
shouhl
Botre.;-'
The le
this vc
mnnd?"
given i'
reply
was the
7011th exelaiaied.
them n cen:
What dll
at some '::'
i.l Chri- '
lestlon v. 'ic i i
"He ilidn'
n with
t com-iil-l
lie
;c'l!-l!e
n.-i'ii
Testing His Competency.
A husky Irishman scrolled Into the
civil service room where they hold
physical examinations for candidates
for the police force.
"(let your clothes off. nud be quick
abut:t It," sai.l the doctor. j
Tliu Irishman undressed. The doctor
measured bis chest and pounded his
ba.U.
"Hop over this rod," was the uest
cninmat.d.
T!:e man did his 1 est, lauding on hi;
back. "Double t p yuv.r knee, end touch
the Hour with your ban' s."
lie lost hi-; l:..!a:iee and s;raw!e.l up
on : lu I'.i M. He was Iudiguant, bit:
s;!enl.
"Now run arounil the roirn tr:i times
v. ;.::t to ' ; i e-i-l and v. i;i 1."
"i'il i;.:." '.. aa.'.-l.!:... .'.e. hired tie
-' ni'v-l the do -tor. pt'.s-
loi!
"; !; lea'e 1 the !'i 'a nai;. with
Vr;.!hi::'.. "i-'tife an' v!::;:'s a'.!
tins fi-tiii. 1 :i i:i.vj ;..i, to do v. id a
in: T'.'i: 'e license. ;'.::. l:o- ':"
lie had sfra-e.l into t!.e v.ro.g l.u-
Av..VI Vfrteii;-.
S' .:.e Si o i lnren were dl:ilti! and
r.fter the toasts each contributed some
thing to the entertainment. Dr. Mac
Donald was pressed t sing, but pro
ter.ted that he could not. "My voice is
altogether unmusical," he explained.
"I never Fing." The company thought
the doctor was modest and Insisted.
"Very well." he said at last. Long be
fore he had finished his audience wa
uneasy. There was a painful silence
a3 the doctor sat down, broken at
length by the voice of a braw Scot at
the end of the table. "Mon," he ex
claimed, "your Blngin's no up to much,
but your veracity's Just awfu'!"
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Wat No Slouch.
A number of men were having a dis
cussion as to who was the greatest
Inventor Some said Edison, some
Watt, F-oa.e Mor.-e, some one and some
auother. Fhu'ly a pawnbroker got la
a word i' : I l ai l:
"Veil. l i a'ieeuens, dose vas gread
peoples. I : I tells you dot man vot
Invented Ir.. rest vas uo slouch." La
dles' Home . ournal
The tier B:-9ko thi New :
fn his re'":"! f r.-n an
abroad an Ilirrli-'b fi:
the xtctius'iip w la. rf by b
trusted I file, ' 'I ',i"il i'--
fla
:'t
a.'d
itge
Demora!;;'.. . btt Not Scattored.
A y "' - if r.nteR' division of the
Confo '!: urn:,-, after the command
bad r'.:n I'ays from Nashville, had
thro- :i - his gun and nccouter
i::er:'s :::: ' a'.or.e i'i the woods, sat
hot ! n-.d cr.i",! ; cd thinklng-the
first clian -e h: had for such a thing.
r.o'llrg r. i .leeves and looking at
hi ; !er,'; and j:e'.:cral physique, he thus
er e er.t lo his feelings: "I am whip
ped, i MV.y whipped, and somewhat de
nior::!i"c 1. but no man can say I am
Bcat'.ered."
"Owen Moore Went Away,
Owen Moore Than He Could Pay;
OwenMoore Came Back One Day,
Owen Moore."
Poor Mr. Owen
Moore no doubt lived
in a small city or town
where he tried to make
a living by running a
store. The people who
were his neighbors in
that town and on the
farms around town
bought most of their
things from the great
Mail Order houses,
neglecting to trade
with Mr. Moore.
Quite naturally, Mr.
Moore failed in busi
ness and went away
owing more than he
could pay. He had to
go away and find a lo
cation in some town
where the people pat
ronized home mer
chants.
But the funny poet who wrote those lines was mis
taken about Owen Moore coming back one day. Mr.
Moore, having been burnt once, would not stick his fin
gers in the same fire again. No, indeed! Mr. Moore
would stay away, not because he was Owen Moore than
he could pay, but because if he ever came back and
started again in business there he would be Owen Moore
still. He would let the old town continue to grow street
grass.
Have you been the cause of any Owen Moore trage
dies In your town?
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?-
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Manufacturers of TYPE and
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s .. si l"lr.f
( " '
CUT3,S0RES.I
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BHEdJ
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IT HEA1
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- " -in i en i ' -
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