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ANECDOTES USED HY ( ON
Hy Morton M. Mi'.ford.
.., it comes to story telling
Renresentattve J. Thomas ncu.n, vm
Alabama, is in a class by himself.
If any one doubts that fact, it would
be welt for him to make inquiry of
any one of the thousands of Kentuck
ians th-it have heard the gifted Ala
bama Congressman speak during- the
Democratic campaign that i rapidly
drawing to a ciose. Here are a few of
Mr. lleflin's best anecdotes:
'Uncle Rufus was sn old-time dar
key, and one day he called the little
nejtioos on the place tp him and told
them he was going to show them how
to ride a mule. 'You see Ah draw; Vic
reins close in; den Ah mounts Mm an'
Ah slips mah foci tr.u'.ah his To legs
an Ah slays v id 'im. The little ne-
jrroe.i iisicieu irat"1.1
sah, maybe.' The:i when he mounted
him the litte hammer-headed Tcx;'s
mule vent up in the air in the s'-npe
of an iiitenvgntioa I1-1'11 thl'pw
old Uncle Rufus three rods aw-.iy into
the plowed ground. Uncle Rufus, hu
miliated but still retaining his wits,
arose dulinrt himself and said: "Dafs
dc way to do it. Whenever you see
dev gwine to thow yea, pot off uv
An old negro that operated a hack
at r.rimintfhum swapped his horse for
an old cavalry charger. lie was doz
ing on the box one day awaiting a
passenger when a gentleman carrying
a suit case ran out of the Tutwiler
Hotel and beckoned to the negro. "I
want to get to the Union Station and
I'm in a big hurry. Can you get me
"Yassuh, Ross, Ah reckon Ah kin,'
answered the old darkey gathering up
the reins. 'Hop in. You see, Ah'm
got a new boss heah. He's a cahalry
hoss an' I doan know much er.niji
him yit, but Ah speck he kin git you
at de deppo in good time'
"'Woll, that's lucky for me. You
,ce, I'm a cavalry officer and I know
how to handle him. Now, you holler
at him "Attention" and then "Charge"
and when you want the horse to stop
"Yat sah, Cap'n,' said the negro.
The darky pulled up the lines and
gave the first of the suggested com
mands. When he hen.nl the familiar
word 'Attention' the old horse stood
ready to bolt. Then the negro cab
driver gave tlte second command.
'Charge,' and the horse started out on
the run. He fdrly flew overthe
pmooth pavement, dragging the sway
ing hack behind him. As the convey
ance drew near the station tne negro
hollered "Halt," and the horse came to
a mCic-n stop. The army oflh-or
, , . , , j,1
jumped out ef ta hack v. th grip j
hand, t.ianked t:io old darky am, j
handed him a crisp dollar hi!!.
" ' Ah gues A'm got it oh all de ut'i
er mggas now,' chuckled the old man
as l:e pocketed the money. 'Ah'm got i
a cabalry hoss an' now dat Ah knows
Tinw to handle 'im Ah kin make moh
davi a barrel ub monv. Ah sneck it'll
take me all de night to count ds ' yolks of two eggs, half their wight :t
change A It'll make endurin' de day.' ihrt boiled potatoes: 1 toa?pcmful of
"It vas r.bo-.it a week before the ne- j chopped parsley, a little cayenne and
gro cab driver had another hurry-up ' salt, and thf raw y.-.r of one egg.
passenger. The passenger wanted to j Brush all together. Make the mixture
go to the courthouse and as he climbed ; into balls the size of a cherry, usng
in the hack he admonished the darky! flour on the hands. Drop them into a
to make all possible haste. 'Doan' you ' p:-n of hot water and peach for a min
fret crbout mah gittin' whar you want ! ute or two. Take up with a skimmer
to go, boss,' explained the negro is a
reassuring tone. 'Ah got an army hoss
here an' he's as fas' as ligntnin' ef you
knows how to handle 'im. An', moh
dar. dat, what it takes t' handle 'im
"Well, the darky climbed up on the
hex. Ho gathered up the reins and
hollered 'Attention! The horse, long
acd.-,t'.'-.i,:.d to such a command prick
et! up his ears, distended his muf
and made re-idy
Charge!' yelled tho j
ebo-.'y-rred driver. The horse strain
,ed at his collar and in a moment he
"was on the run. Ke went so fast that
.pede. trains a'or.g the sidewalk craned
their rwtks to watch what they
thought was a runaway. As the sway
ing back cam? near the destination of
the passenger the negro turned an
n&hy hue. His ferr soon gave vay to
desperation. In great distress he
shouted t.-i his patsenger: 'Ross, Ah
'speck you had better take it on de
wing, 'kase Ah done forgot de las'
vd dem three wuds.' "
An old fellow down in my district
had a stepson who refused to stay at
home. Ke received a telegram from
a sheriff out in California onp ds
that read: 'Your rn died here tt)d.y.
"The o'd man wired back: 'Roving
Too Much For Him
One day an old negro passed by his
master's cupboard and saw a fine
hock of ham. It was nice and brown,
BmeTled so sweet aad looked so appe-
tizing that it made the negro's Month
water. The temptation to become 'the!
T"5or cf that ham hock wa too I
; M- -'nto HV.rland, to he $lk-1
ed the meat ut off the platter and
stuck it in his bosom. 'Ah guess
Marse Jeems wouldn't care nohow ef
he seed me Kii.b his here poke,' he
mused, 'kase dry ain't so much meat
on her no way.'
"With the meat tucked away safely
between the lining of his ragged vest
and his undershirt the negro hobbled
off to church where a pi-oUacted l.ieet
ing wr.s in progress. He took a front
seat and was in time to hear the col
ored parson announce that the text of
his sermon was: "Be Y'e Free From
"As the parson warmed up to his
subject, Uncle Remus grew restive.
" 'Ah say unto you all, bruddern ami
sistcrn, take dat sin from out youah
buzzum! the preacher shouted in a
stenorian tone that could be heard for
a block. This spiritualistic admonition
troubled the negro worshipper on the
front seat of the church and he slyly
felt his bulging coat front to make
doublv sure the coveted ham hock was
" 'Then the voice of the preacher
rose again: "Ah says unto you all
take d.:t sin from out'ti youh buzzom."
"Uncle Remus grew more lidgcty.
Again the parson, looking directly at
the old negro sitting in front of the
pulpit, shouted: 'Ah repeats, breddern
and sistcrn, take dat sin from out youh
"Uncle Remus could stand it no
longer. With a look of indignation
and desperation on his wrinkled face
he threw back his coat, ripped open
the front of his vest, grasped the cov'
eted ham hock in his knotted black
hand and hurled it at the person. 'Go
ahead and take it, ef you is gwine to
raise so much fuss ovah such a measly
affaih,' he shouted as he hobbled out
of the church."
GIRLS! GIRLS! TRY IT!
STOP DANDRUFF AND
BEAUTIFY YOUR HAIR
Hair Slops Falling Out and Gets
Thick, Wavy, Strong and Iieautiful.
Your hair becomes light, wavy,
fluffy, abundant aad appears as soft
lustrous and beautiful as a young
girl's after a Danderin hair cleanse."
Just try this mohten a cloth with a
little Danderino and carefully draw it
through your hair, taking one small
strand at a time. This will cleanse
the hair of dust, dirt and excessive
oil and in just a few moments you
have doubled the beauty of your hair.
Resides beautifying the hair at once.
Pandevine dissolves every particle of
dandruff; cleanses, purifies and invig
orates the scalp, forever .stopping
itching and falling hair.
Rut what will please you most will
he after a few weeks' use when you
win actually see .new liair lino anr!
downy at first yes but really new
hair growing all over the scalp. I;'
you care tor prcty, soit hair and lots
of it surely get a 2o-cent bottle of
Kno,Ut.,,nV I)ani;oWno from anv d:T
sjst or toilet counter, and just try it
MARION 1 1. A R LAND.
To the Mistress of the Household.
Quenelle for Soup.
rut ivtj a saucepan the half-boiled
anil drop into the soup befors serving.
Cough Syrup, Etc.
A fme cjugh syrup, one which is
esnscir.lly geed in bornchial trouble,
and is perfecty harmless, is made by
slicing white turnips .nd covering
them vnth sugar; a syrup will soon
form, rnd it may be taken in any
quantity and as often as desired. In
!c medicine closet I r.lvays keep a
tin t mustard prepared with flour
ready to bo passed into a plaster.
Putting mustard and flour through a
sieve insures perfect blend.
Second I cannot' tomatoes, poaches
and pears by starting them on a gas
range and then putting them into the
fireless cooker for any length of time
that suited my converJenee. Of course
they were returned to the fire and id
lowed to boil up before putting into
jars. The are a'.i fins. And m roast
ing of the cook or burning of fruit.
Hor&eTaJich In Catsup.
I send c-n a hint that I h&vs used
suctesfuliy many years. Three heap
ing rpoonfuls of grated or chopped
horseradish in a jjx of cold pernred
mangoes (filled peppers), tomatoes or
catsup pui. up in cold vinegar. Of
course, the vinegar, sugar :nd salt
were first boiled, then allowed to be
come cold before pouring over the
vegetables. Horseradish is a fine pre
Prt into a granite saucepan a cup
each of molasses and brown sugar and
a tablespoonful each of butter and
Tine sax. Boil until a little dropped
into cold water k brittle, beat in a
seent teirpoonful of baking aoda and
take immediately from the fire. Von
into buttered pans.
Into :. saucepan put a pound of
granulated sugar and a gill of boiling
water anil, as soon as the sugar Is
dissolved, add a tablespoonful of vine
gar. Roil until a. little becomes br!t
Ue in cold water, add peppermint es
sence to taj.te, and drop by the spoon
ful on buttered or waxed paper.
One potato, 1 tomato, 1 onion, 1
green pepper, 1 cau-ot, 1 apple, 2
stalks of celery, 2 slices of bre.ikfast
Cut all into small dice and drop
into boilin;" hot water. Cook thor
oughly and reason with pepper and
sait to taste.
AFTiCii SEVEN YEARS
Asheboro Testimony Remains Unshak
Time is the best test of truth.
Here is an A.diel.oro story that has
stood the tesi of time. It is a story
with a point which will come straight
home to many of us.
Mrs. R. K. Vv'ooilell, Salisbury St.,
Asl.eboro, says: "1 suffered a ;;reai.
ileal front a lame and aching back. My
kidneys were weak and I had dull
headaches. Reing told that Dean's
Kidney Pills were a good kidney medi
cine, I got sonic i;om the Standard
Drug Co. Two or three boxes fixed
me up in good shape." (Statement
given January 2, 1P0K).
OVER SEVEN YEARS LATER
Mrs. YVoodoll said: "I still hold a high
opinion of Doan's Kidney Pills. I
have never found anything equal to
them for backache and other kidney
Price ,r0c, at all dealers. Dont
simply ask for a kidney remedy gei
Doan's Kidney Pills the same that
Mrs. Woodell had. Foster-Milburn
Co., Props., Ruffalo, N. Y.
A Few flours Real
Plcasyro hi the
h li4'r;it of 'the
makes reading and
sewing real pleas
ure:, these evenings.
7'hc Kayo gives a
steady light that
can't hurt the eyes.
It requires almost
no attention. Its
simplicity of design
makes it easy to
keep clean. You
don't have to re
move the shade to
light it just lift the
gallery and touch a
match. Most con
Use Aladdin Security
0l or Diamond While
Gil to obtain best results
in Oil S 'rues ; Lamps and
The Rayo is only one
of our many products
especially suitable for
use oa tlie farm.
Standard Hand Separator
Mica A; le Grease
Kureka Harness Oil
Matchless Liquid Gloss
If your dealer does not
carry them, write to
our nearest station.
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
Wnnhiniltoo, D. C. Cinrlntte, N. C
N'oWnik. a. Ch.rk.ioii, V. V.
Kicbmoud, V. CfacrlcKtm, S. C
Abe Daniels was pardoned Thurs
day by Governor Craig from the re
mainder "of the 18 month's sentence to
the Davidson county roads en the
charge of selliag liquor.
Welcome SHOES- :-:
And a! a!! Times
See Our Special
Don't Forget Us
-:- on :
1 Qonfa Piano
ri e j wm at m m wu
u T a J IrJ
SMALL DAI GIITKU IS SIIOT BY
j While playing with an old pistol,
which it had boon thought had been
, rendered harmless, Thursday after
noon at their home in Ashevilie, the
eipht year old daughter of Mr. and
Mrs. C fi. riaiss vas acoidentally
shot through tlio jaw by her ten year
: old sister. It is thought that the
! child will recover.
THE CARNEGIE FUND AND HOW
IT IS USED TO TAY KE
1r.c Carncg'fi Foundation for the
advj.nccment of Teai-ViinK is an institu-tii.-n
founded :y Andrew Carnegie in
lOO'i and ineorporirLcd Ly the ConjrreFS
of Ihe United States in 1 '06. The :'n
etihition is endiwet! with Sl.r,0tl(i,(Mi0
to provide retir'njf allowances for
teachers and ofli'ers of colleges, uni
versities and technical schools in the
United States. Canada and Newfound
land, and with $l,o."0,000 to provide
for educational inquiry and publica
tion. By decision of rhi eight'i annual
meeting of the trnse's in 111 L' ."3 5 al
lowances were bcinjr paid to teachers
and eighty-eight pensions to widows of J
teachers, at an annual cost of $616,
470. The amount of the average re
tiring cllowance is $1,705.51, the aver
age age of retirement being tKut
In the administration of its endow
ment the foundation has restricted ita
allowances to professors and officers in
a list of seventy-three institution se
lected for thir educational starding,
and has published a series of widely
influential reports and bulletins con
cerning educational conditions.
The president of the foundation is
Dr. Henry S. Pritchett; secretary,
Clyde Furst, address 57C Fifth avenue,
New York City.
HONOR ROLL MT. OLIVEI
Seventh grades Alma Leach, Mary
Tyt.or, Maude Tyrcr, Nellie Sugg,
Claude Maness, Flora Maness, Thom
as Wrcsin, Emmett Maness. ' ' ,
Fifth grade Lizzie Sugg, Mary
Lerch, Eve Wronn, Nellie Phillips.
Fourth grad Wade Tysor Cittie
Moore, Vernie Maness.
Third grade Mary , Miller, Ola
Wrenn, Alton Maness.
Second grade Clay Sugg, Joe Ty
sor, Dock Williamson, Donald Sugg.
First grades May Wrcnn.
J. N. Cagle, Principal.
The Democratic National Committee
has accepted for the national cam
paign button, a design "America
First" submitted by Hon. A. W. Mc
Lean, of Lumberton. An immediate
order for 20,000 of these cawpaign
buttons has been placed.
We have them at the
ry, Watches, Pants, School
Supplies, Hosiery, Underwear, Etc.
Is Now Here!
Every sewing machine in the city
is just humming, and every woman in
town is getting herself and her family
into the prettiest clothing imaginable,
as quickly as she can.
Have you a sewing machine in your
home ? Wouldn't you gladly pay $1.00
Down and $1.00 a Week to hare the
finest sewing machine that is made?
You will never miss so little an
amount, and you could have so many
pretty things if you owned one.
We are selling The FREE Sewing
Machine cn these terms and it is the
most wonderful sewing machine that
was ever made. It is a far superior
article for less money than any of the
do-called "od line" machine that you
have uesd so long.
The Rrtoscillo movementthe eight sets of ball bearing, auto
matic lift, automatic locking drawers, automatic tension re
lease, shuttle ejector, head latch, thread controller, etc., as well
as the rotary spool pin, self -threading shuttle, new French leg
design and other improvements makes The FREE first choice
of all who have investigated como in and try "The FREE"
D. At CORNELISQN, Agt.
SE AG ROVE, NJC.
Having Qualified as administratrix
of i. CFouet, deceased, before J. M.
Caveness, Clerk Superior Court of
Randolph county, this is to notify all
persons having claims against said
estate to present them to the under
signed on or before the 15th day cf
December, 1916, or this notice will be
plead in . bar of their recovery; and
all persons indebted said estate are
hereby notified to come forward and
make immediate settlement.
Thia Dec. 6, 1915.
HELEN P. FOUST, Adrax. J. C.
Crops this year have broken all rec
ords. The nation's 1916 principal farm
crops are worth about $5,500,000,000,
exceeding by more than $500,000,000
their value in 1914, the previous ban
ner year in the country's crop history.
CASTOR I A
Tor Infants and CMldnm.
Tba fM Yes Bars Alwip Bought
We fill your orders
promptly. Phone No. 70,
C, Liberty Street.
Having qualified as administrator
on the estate of J. M. Breedlove, de
ceased, before J. M. Caveness, Clew
of the Superior Court of Randolph
county, I shall sell at public auction to
the highest bidder for cash, on
promises on the 23 day of Dec. lflfc
two cows, one hog, a lot of house prop
erty, farming implements, etc and
other articles too tedious to mention.
All persons having claims agajn
said estate are notified to present them
to the undersigned, duly verified, on or
before the 1st day of Doc 1916.
this notice will be pleaded in bar of
thi recovery; and all persons ow
ing said estate will come forward ana
make immediate settlement.
This 1st day of Dec 1915. ,
W. A. STALEY, Admr. J. M. Breed
love. horn with tba wonAnrmi 1
I uum mi rm bri U I ant tott w hit. 1 lht
tMttar th.n lactrioltr "
Tnlrht and naka mdtac or MWinf
fciauum. Hal M . BiUahW
and oOBOmleal. Sstwtaetioa w"
Mate MaU to 'aVaaWT I
aatwunn,. "a amra pmn T
Haywood ParkN Franklinvine, N.