THE
(HFATT AST
t J J
E. F. YOUNG, Manager.
"1,1 VIC AND LET LIE."
C K. GRANTHAM, Local Editbr.
VOLUME I-
DUNN, HARNETT CO., N. C, THURSDAY. MAY 7. 1891.
NUMfiER 11.
&xs: (Central !tmcg
I . published Every Thursday
-RV-
E. f nm ana - e. x. g
SUBSCRIPTIONS. IN ADVANCE:
7
ADVERTISING RATES:
i,..- ..Inmn, n'- Year, ' - - $75X0
... . . . - 20.00
7i-tVitra-t ii.lv.rtis.iiitiii- lakni at pro-j,-,ri:'.iU't.-ly
1 r:i!..
. Tjir-j;,u-r'i' ft i: '' '?'"- if ft' -V. C
v' ffc.i-i-i-f " '
;1 ls' th ! ' vi-f-r.; me lic il col
Vts in ilie I iiito'l StHte-s; In 1S9J, 148.
Til-. An-t : t;; Tivnon wi-altb. hasa
fur-m:. - It ha started ou the
.-!it'.'in.- rid. jn- ii ts th;- San Fran
w; ' :-f'u will t:Mi)i forward
-VadiJv t fivrloni and g;-.-:itnrss.
i . ' f tii ; :n'-U of . P.ilerm H
ii i- j ;ift! r I'n'-ii.':it Lincoln. This
; ;nr by orli-r of tjic Marquis Li
Kudini, th.- ur:v Premier of I til y, who
as M ivor of dikr:no at the time of
Line o!n as-.isM nation.
.Mr?; Alice. Freeman Palmer announces
Imui th- j.ttforiu that there are to-day
I'M'" girl in, the colh-ars of America.
This giv' color, admits the Boston
'.. -ri(, to Dr. Seelye's declaration
ill it before tiie end of the present cen-
uirv the Atneriean wonwu will be better
(Incited thin the nieiu
Embracery" a new term in English
i,irijrudenoe. Tlie apprehensions of
l.im who is j.rrested upon a charge of it
would probably take the direction of the
"divorce court. In tlie matter, however,
he would be in error; the charge is really
no of corrupting' a jury. It is a very
i arc offense, yet, from what appears from
a recent case, where a geutlernau got
fined .""()( for it, very easy to commit.
Von have only to get a juror into a pub
lic house, treat him to a glass of ale and
remark that, the prisoner whose conduct
i under his consideration "is a good fel
low, thoutrh le may have over-stepped
tin- mirk a little." . The influence of a
jury by flattery or other arts ' is in a
learned counsel only cajolery; but in a
laynian it is 'embracery" a nnicli more
idvanccd stage of inratiutiou.
The statute upon the subject of cruelty
to animals, is pretty rigid in Pennsyl
vania. U mikes it a misdemeanor for
any per-on to "'wantonly or cruelly ill
treat, oveiload, beat or otherwise abuse
any animal." Recently there occurred" a
pigeon-shooting match bv -t'.ie members
t a min rlub, and one of the member
wo-.mde. , wyhout at th- sa-ue tim kill
ing, a pigeon. When this was discov-
led the bird was at once killed. Some
humane person thought that the law had
been violated, and that its penalty should
be invoked, so its machinery was set in
motion' and a trial was held, and the ae
elided was found guilty of cruelty. The
cruelty. consisted '-in wounding instead
"f instantly killing'' the pigeon. The
ac was taken t the Supreme Court of
the State, whichobserves the Mtil nl
Vvm, happily took the broader view
that birds are "placed here" by the Al
mighty for the usC of man," and that it
as :UV unavoidable incident, to which
i his statute did not apply.
- Says the Washington St,,-: "The
rhonomenak growth of the American city
population is a subject for both wonder
Jid alarm". Its percentage cannot grow
without a corresponding " decrease in the
percentage of rural population. And
this fact Ls fraught: with economical and
s'-xiai uangcrs. Consider what thes
must be in a very few decades when w
know that the urban increase ha, W
during the last ten decades frnm th
percent, of the whole population to
slightly less than thirty per cent, iu
1S0. And this is so far as city popula
tion proper is concerned, or the popula
tion of towns having a pbimlation of
fight thousand or more. The rural popu
lation in its strictest limitation that is
n the farms anj in the couutrJ store?
aDtl w,'rk-'ls or in hamlets of less than
twohimured souls-w.d show that the
Jrroportioti between the town and
lountrvaceatuiyago an i now U very
; water than a.p.ais from the cen-
enumeration. I the Americantic
d:xnM,oarillf Are 1niwn
"n!r l Xw :Murred in the nur.uit of the
manly t..r in the enthusiasm of the
ranonalgame: Are fanners' movements
of the future to b3; re.dred impossible
. "ytne disappearance of the farmer'
ne coition, .of population in our
Krat utie. and the prevading Wwijov--nimenc
of the.e cities combine to raise
iH1C "f th" ,uo?t rious problems that
uow confront American statwmcV
LOVE'S SILENCE;
Of all the words that bear their part,
In alt the deeds of day to day,
tine word is chiefly in my heart.
One little word I must not say.
The hills of truth are straight and itep
They have a smart in every stone;
And climbing them I needs must we?p
To thinfe that love must die unknown.
Night follows day day chases nigh,
And brings a lesson strange to teachj
That love is lifeless ia the light.
And siUnw is the fullest Fpeech.
IVa'.ter II. Pollock, ia Longman's.-
MR;-gPlXDLE'S TRIP WEST.
IIY KI'.AXU J. MARTIN.
The gaunt figure of Major Soeutpenny
ivas familiar to the citizens of Middle
field. For reasons best known to hirn
relf he had a great antipathy to labor
cither mental or physical. His external
habiliments bothered him little so loner
as, internally, there were no unsatisfied
demands. His thoughts were allowed, to
wander with the vagrant winds for Major
Scentpenny was a dreamer. From a
lack of practical engagement his mind
such as it was contented itself with all
conceived visions of future .wealth. He
was in the habit of making periodical
visits to several houses, so that when he
was seen approaching Mrs. Proudman's
home, early in the evening of a balmy
Mayday, no attention was paid to the
fact. Ths Major, so it was , currently
rumored, was entered in the lists as a
wooer of the buxom widow.
His usual tranquility was disturbed by
the prospect of a realization of his fond
est hopes. Xor was he alone with the
fautasy of wealth, for, at that particular
time, a score of worthy citizens of
Middlefield were great'y agitated. The
commotion was caused by a blue-eyed
man of great suavity, who introduced
himself as the Second Vice-President of
the "Gold Trust Mining Company of
Colorado," and who intimated that his
shattered health required that he re
cuperate in Middlefield, and in co other
locality.
The Second Vice-President,Mr. Sharp
file, to use his own phrase, had "an easy
picking of it,'' when he exhibited, at the
urgent request of ten prominent citizens,
the samples of ore he carried, as he said,
for his own amusement. Some were bold
enough to express a desire to become
stockholders in .the company, and had
the funds at hand to back their ambi
tions. Others made efforts to realize
money on their possessions so as to be let
in.
Mr. Sharpfile offered no encouragement
at first, but finally, after a great pressure
had been brought to bear upon him, com
municated with the general office of his
company and inquired if there was any
stock for sale. The answer came that
there were a few shares left at $1.10.
Mr. Sharpfile secretly informed each
prospective stake-holder that he was the
lucky one and could have a few shares
on condition that he would promise never
to divulge the fact. In the midst of his
secret sales of stock he never forgo the
fact that Mrs. Proudman had ten thou
sand in the bank, and was not at all aux
ious to invest it.
Major Scentpenny became greatly at
tached to the mining magnate and in
formed him that Mrs. Proudman was be
ginning to seriously consider the advisa
bility of asking the Gold Trust Miming
Company to allow her to become a stock
holder. Mr. Sharpfile readily compre
hended the situation, and, as a direct re
sult of his,' schemes, the Major was now
on his Way to the widow's home to pre
vail upon her as a friend, to invest her
money in the company.
Mrs. Proudman ami her daughter,
Eliza, had finished their household
duties for the day and were knitting
when the Major applied the polished
brass knocker to the front door. He
found, a comfortable chair, an amiable
widow and "her sprightly daughter await
ing him. 'No sooner were the formali
ties at an end and he was ready to speak
upon the. subject nearest his heart when
the knocker announced tha arrival of
Ruother caller, who proved to be Adam
Spindle, a pedagogue and rival of the
Major for the hand of Mrs. Proudman.
Men in love, like generals in war, adopt
seemingly curioui plans of action. The
Major and Mr. Spindle had their ideas
as to how to win the widow. The
former believed in concentrated effort,
the latter iu confusing advances and re
treats. After a lew comments on ordinary
topics, the Major lound himself alone
with the widow, Mr. Spindle, and Eliza
having gone to take a stroll in the moon
light. The Major approached the sub
ject cautiously. He recounted the nu
merous instances where banks had failed,
suggested that, bad crops were frequent
visitors, enlarged upon the necessity of
making Eliza, the sweet child, a lady
independent in every respect and worked
himself up to the highest pitch when he
expressed the hope that the declining
years of his dear friend, Mrs. Proudman,
would be blessed with elegance and ease.
Then he brought on "The Gold Trust
Cor" in regal style. The Colorado press,
including the Mtuntain Slipper, Slippery
Poss Signal and All-around Punches,, had
published columns about the mines and
their enormous outputs. The company
was worth millions and, of course, stock
was scarce. He wasau intimate friend
of Mr. Sharpfile ana that gentlemau
would, ir Mrs. Proudman wished to pro
cure it, so manage affairs that a four
thousand block would be at her option
in the course or six weeks, but not before.
Of course he was interested in her welfare
as a friend, nothing more.
Mrs. Proudman had ambitions and list
ened attentively to all he'said. His sin
cerity could not be doubted, and the in
vestment, to all appearances, seemed to
be a safe one. In truth, let it be stated
that the Major was fully convinced of the
absolute truth of all he uttered.
Mrs. Proudman. after thanking him for
his efforts in her behalf, said that she
would take the matter under considera
tion and, in all probability, would en
deavor to secure the stOCvi at the expira
ticu of the six weeks.
This information so elated tha Maior
that he could scarcely contain himself for
joy, and uttering a few unintelligible
words made his departure. He. already
fancied himself the husband, of Mr3.
Proudman, rolling in riches, four meals
per day, and a spanking team of road
sters to ngage his leisure moments.
Shortly after he left the widow's home,
Mr. Spindle and Eliza returned from their
stroll. Eliza scampered away to her
room and Mr. Spindle Ited the field to
himself. Mrs. Proudman had great faith
in him and took him into her confidence.
Mr. Spindle was, to say the least, con
servative and held mining companies in
much the same light as he did Satan ;
but he listened attentively.
"Mrs. Proudman," said heafter along
pause, during which he was working out
a distance table in his mind, "I would
advise you to go slow in the matter. Our
friend, the Major, is visionary. I am
going away in the morning, and will be
absent at lea3t five week?. Do not 'pur
chase any stock in the Gold Trust Min
ing Company until you have heard from
me.''
"Where are you goTng' inquired Mrs.
Proudman anxiously.
"Do not press me now for an answer;
simply await advice from me."
Mrs. Proudman agreed to this and
early the next morning Mr. Spindle ap
peared at the railway station, and tak
ing the ticket agent, an old friend, into
hi9 confidence, purchased a ticket to
(not even the agent could tell)
and was miles from Middlefield before
the gallant Major Scentpenny was astir.
:;: zf '
The Gold Trust Mining Company's
plant was located not' many miles from
Silverton, Col., away up a mountain
above the timber line. A half dozen
men, under the directioln. of the Superin
tendent, Mr. Poss, were engaged in dig
ging into the mountain side. Vague ru
mors of rich finds in this mine were cir
culating in neighboring camps, and the
statements of the men working tfre
mine, as well as the elaborate articles
that appeared from time to time in the
mining journals created a great interest.
Bright and early one morning Mr.
Poss noticed a man climbing the mount
ain. The stranger stopped when half
way up, and seating himself on a bowl
der, lighted a cigar and began to read a
book that he carried under his arm. Mr.
Poss paid no heed to this until the fol
lowing morning, when the stranger ap
peared at about the same time and re
peated the ceremony. Morning after
morning this individual climbed the
mountain, 'each succeedingv twenty-four
hours finding him nearer the mine, until
at last he found himself within a short
distance of where Mr. Poss and his men
were working.
The "visitor," as the men termed
him, had a bad cough and evidently re
alized that his days were numbered. He
excused himself for intruding and passed
fragrant cigars around among the men,
which act made him a welcome guest at
the cabin where he took lunch -with the
miners.
One morning Mr. Poss ventured into a
conversation with him, and learned that
he was an invalid who had been ordered
to spend the season amoug the mountains
of Colorado. He was wealthy, disinter
ested in mining, and claimed the State
of Maine as his home. Mr. Poss took
kindly to him and gave him a complete
history of the "Gold Trust Company,"
as an agument that any man with a small
capital, some pluck , aud hardened con
science, could grow rich rapidly in the
mining business.
In substance the history was this : The
company had been organized by one Mr.
Sharpfile and himself. Mr. Sharpfile was
in the East selling stock on the strength
of a lot of fine samples from the big
mines of the State. He, Mr. Poss, worked
the other end the mines. They had
located several mines, but were working
one only. The ore was poor, but they
had the mine "salted" incase any inves
tors desird to inspect it. In the event
of such an occurrence, rich ore would
be found at every turn. Mr. Sharpfile
was meeting with great success in dis
posing of his artisticallly designed stock
certificates, and both would ictire from
the company in the course of a few
weeks. ' '
The stranger took a fit of coughing and
excused himself for the balance of the
day. He was missed on the following
morning, and when a week elapsed and
he did not appear, Mr. Poss concluded
that the cough had finished him.
,
The following copies of telegrams re
ceived and answered by Mrs. Proudman
and clipped from the Middlefield ifonn-,
cover subsequent events quite fully :
Silvkrton, June 21, 18.
To Mrs. Proudman, Middlefield, Vt. :
I have just obtained an admission from
Sharpfile's partner that the Gold Tru3t Com
pany is a wildcat scheme. I have been to see
the mine and it is a hnmbujt. I will not re
turn to Middlefield unless my presence there
is required. Swindle.
Middlkfield. J une 22, 19 .
To Mr. Spindle, Silverton, Col..
Come at once. No mining stock for me.
Your presence is desired .
Mrs. Procpmax.
Silvkrtos. June 23, 18 .
To Mrs. Proudman, Middlefield, Vt. :
What dijsposition, if any, has been mad 5 of
our mutual friend, Major Scentpenny?
Spixdle.
Middlefikld. June24, 18 .
Mr. Spindle, Silverton, Col. :
The Major's name has been entered in the
black book directly under that of Mr. Sharp-
file. Come. Mrs. Proudman.
. Extract from the "Society Review" in
the Middlefield Banner of August 24,
18:
"Cards of invitation are out for the wed
ding of Mr. Adam Spindle and Mrs. Bertha
Proudman, both well-known society leaders in
this town. The happv couple will , take up
their residence at notty Knot,' the old
: home of the bride."
j In an obscure corner of the same issue
' appeared the following
Kilvkrton- Col Aurust 22 (Special).
The Gold Trust Mining: Company suspended
operations to-day. Investigation proves that
it was a big swindle. Messrs. Sharpfile and
Poss, the projectors of the scheme have flei
the country. Warrants are out for their
arrest.
Detroit Free Press.
Some" Strange Fires.
On the night of March 21, 1676, about
three hours after sunset, a monster,
bright light arose out of tho Adriatic
Sea and passed from east northeast to
the west of southwest, crossing ovefc
Italy in a vertical line about half-way
between Rimini and Leghorn. Various
estimates as to the height and size of the
body were made. One scientist,' with
amusing exactness, declares that it was
thirty-eight miles high at Cahners. At
all'places near its course a hissing noise
like that of a sky-rocket was plainly
heard. At Leghorn the sound is said to
have been "like that of a large cannon
quickly dying away until it sounded
much like a cart running over cobble
stones." Estimates of its size seem to
have been as wild as those respecting its
height. Some .accounts say it was as
"large as a house;" Le Cat says that "it
was a good half inile in circumference."
Bbhn, who has written ta very readable
account of "the g
fir of "MaroTi 91
eat meteor or strange
MDCLXXVI. " esti-
mates that it was "about one-half mile
by the smaller diameter," which wpuld
surely make it a terrifying object to be
hold. On Thursday, March 19, 1719, there
appeared at London, about eighth
o'clock at night, a "sudden great light
moving after the manner but more slow
ly than a falling star. It started from a
pfcint below Orion's Belt, then lying in
tte southwest, aud went upw'ards in
stead uf downwards like a falling star.
Its size, according to the testimony of
numerous observers in Spain, France,
Ireland, Holland and some parte of Ger
many, as well as those who saw it in
London and all over England, was about,
that of the full moon. It was of whit
ish color with an eye in the centre as
blue as the most azure portion
of a June
It went
until out
sky after a thunder-storm,
straight upwards in its course
of sight, leaving a track of
sparks in its wake.
fiery red'
. A fire of a strange nature appeafed in
Wales in 1693. According to the most
intelligible. account concerning it now in
existence, it came up from the sea near
Harlech. At several places near- that
place and all over Merionethshire it did '
much damage, burning hay, houses,
barns, etc. A person writing of it said r
"The grass over which it moves kills all
manner of cattle that feed upon it. But
what is most remarkable is that any
great noise, such as the beating of a
drum or sounding a horn, effectually re
pels it from any house." St. Louis ite
pullic. Barnnm's "Brick Man."
As an illustration of one of Barnum's
ingenious methods of attracting atten
tion to his museum may be mentioned
the incident of the "brick man." One
day a man applied for alms to Barnum,
who was sitting in the ticket office. To
the inquiry as to why he did not go to
work, the mendicant replied . that he.
would gladly do so at a dollar a day, if
he could find employment. Barnum gave
him twenty-five cerits to get his break
fast, and told him to return and he
would give him a dollar and- a half a
day and easy work. When the man -returned,
Barnum gave him five bricks,
and told him to place one in front of the
museum, another on the corner of Vesey
street, a third at the corner of Fulton j
on the St. Paul's Church side and the
fouith on the cast corner of Fulton. Re- 't
turning then to the museum, he was to !
take up the fir3t brick and replace it
with the fifth, and then continue his j
rounds, putting down one brick and j
taking up the other each time, ne was
enjoined to answer no questions, and to
seem not to hear, and that at the end of
each three-quarters of an hour he was
to pass into the museum, look around at
curiosities lor fifteen minutes, and then
resume his rounds with the brick. .. Bar
num sajs that the man played his part to
perfection, and his eccentric conduct '
caused a great crowd to gather about
the museum..----Many of these, of course,
went into the museum to seek some ex
planation as to the purpose, of the
"brick man." This was kept up for
several days, until the police requested"
his withdrawal, because- such crowds
lingered about the museum .that traffic
was interrupted. Harper's Weekly.
Smokeless Powder Is Powerful. i
The Wetteren. smokeless powder from;
Belgium has just been tested at ,the!
Springfield (Mass.) armory. Preliminary;
tests showed a velocity of nearly 1900;
feet, with an initial pressure of 47t000
pounds, the charge, according to the ca
pacity of the new rifle, being but thirty
six grains. The shell now in use in the
United States army rifles permits of a
charge 'of fifty-five grains of ordinary
powder. Its highest velocity is 1400
feet, with" a pressure of but 35,000
pounds. Th'e increase of velocity ob
tained by the Wetteren powder largely in
creases the danger space. The hardened
lead and copper covering of the new ball
alsoincreaes it3 penetration, the shot being
effective at a distance of two and one-,
half miles. Tests with the magazine guns ;
will take place early next month. Bos-
ton Transcript. ' j
A Home-Made Weather Class. j
Two articles only are required to con-:
struct this simple weather prophet. First
a clean oil flask (such as olive oil comes
in), and secondly a wide-mouthed fruit
jar. Fill the jar to within two or three
inches of the brim with soft water.
Place the neck of the oil flask within the ;
fruit jar. In fair weather the water in
the neck of the flask will remain about
half an inch above the bowl, but in
stormy weather the water will rise grad
ually in the neck, and ram or snow tnayj
then be looked for. If the atmosphere;
be very heavy it will rise at times to thej
height of two or three inches in a few
hours. The water needs no changing,!
nor does it matter if the weather glass be
kept out of doors or in, save that in
freezing weather, of course, the glass
would break. Detroit Free Pre.
Coachmen for
wear white hats.
Berlin doctois. are to'
HE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
TOBIES THAT ARE TOLD BT THE
It &UNNY MBIT OP THE PEES3.
Mr Visitor No Discrimination
1 ; JJrief Preparation Until the Next
Make-up Satisfied, Etc., Etc
He comes and taps at my study door, .
My neighbor's youngest boy. .
i And he takes my mind from a tedious task
f, To show me his latest toy.
"j! w
e prattles on in an artless way;
He sins me a childish song;
An1 1 think, as I watch him lovingly,'
I rhat he scarce can stay too long,
He has a cherub's face and voice,
x Twixt heaven and earth a link;
Butjph! I wish he woutd not thrust
; Mymucilage brush in the ink.
I America.
'!"
NO DISCRIMINATION.
I Tramp "Will this dog bite
old tramp?"
a poor
Hired i Girl "Just as quick as a fat
joung one." Epoch.
" :
j - ....
BRIEF PREPARATION.
I "Now," said tne carpenter to his wife,
I' we'll be off to the party as soon as I
get cut my claw-hammer, brush my
nails, and clean up a bit." Pud:
A MODERATE REQUEST.
'J Ethel "Twenty-five dollars,
pap-Vl'm tr-: "hopping to-day.
please,
Papa ' What are you going to buy?"
Ethel o.uin. I want the monev
for cab fre." Mameyn Weekly.
:
4 A HAPPY THOUGHT.
j "I hate this house cleaning business,"
sighed a discousolated husband . 4 Wife,
J(et's go live in a tent."
i "Better live in con-tent," suggested
Jiis. wife meekly. Detroit Free Press.
PERSIFLAGE JN THE MENAGERIE.
1 1 "I wish you monkeys would quit your
Everlasting chattering!" exclaimed the
Jion.
3 " What do you want to put in yur
foar for?" askedY giddy young simian.
c I THE PRODIGAL
FAMILY.
B Prodigal Son "I
come to von with
heavy heart."
' Prodigal Father "And a light pocket-book.
I knoy all about that. How
Jnuch do you need now?" Texas Sift-
$ngs.. . x - .
I '" .'
LNTIL TnE NEXT MAKE-Ur.
I Mr. lirump (old friend of the familv)
( - "Is Miss Giddy disengaged?"
I Norah "Disengaged, i? it? I
Shouldn't wondher, sor; her young man
Jist wint out wid a face black as night."
Judge.
I
i
AN ETHICAL POINT.
La Fiancee -"I am sorrv to hear
papa is speculating so heavily."
1 ILc Fiance "By Jove! it is almost
criminal for a man . to speculate with
irhoney that ought to be saved for his sou
in-law." Life.
SATISFIED.
Johnuy (sobbing)
"Does
it really
ti-h,-hurt you to wh-whip me, Mama?"
f Ma"
Ma "Yes, my son;
very, much more
jjthan it hurts you."
i Johnny (drving his
'glad!" Puck".
eyes) "I'm so
A NATURAL AFFINITY.
Day "The spirit medium I saw
night had a wonderful affinity for
..other medium."
I Weeks "What other medium?"
ij Day "The circulating medium.
'jMnnsey's Weekly.
i
I A TRAITOR.
last
the
Mr.. Giltman-
-"What have you done
pet poodle 'that 'I paid
t"cifch in v -urifo'a
you $20 to steal ?" . ,
If Sneak Thief Bill "I returned it this
Iroorning and got the $50 reward she ol-
"cred for it." St. Joseph JVejcs.
?- ALMOST A WRECK.
. .
'I Conductor "What do you mean by
blocking travel like that? You're nearly
Jrun the car oif the track!"
1 Tramp "Dat's home-made sponge
cake. I struck at dat farm-house. I
j: -wanted ter soften it a bit." Jt
ttutgc
BOSTON STYLE.
). Arabella "During your visit to Bos
jton did you encounter Cupid's darts?"
'i Bertha "Boston cupids do not use
; Arabella -"What then, do they use?"
j Bertha "Bean shooters." Puck.
?!
ii CRUSHED BY A MENDICANT.
,i
?j Well-dressed Party "No, I've got
nothing for you. .Ain't you ashamed to
Jbe begging?"
it Beggar " You are ; the one to be
? ashamed dressed up like a gentleman
J and never a nickel in your clothes."
Tcxa Sitings.
MOVED IX A SENSIBLE CIRCLE.
Customer., (who has -just had bis
whiskers dyed) "Yes, that's a good job.
Jt s a neb, glossy black. I should think
ijon would use it on that gray beard of
yours. .
Barber'
to maintain.
I have a position in society
Next !" Chicago Tfeus.
f OFFENDED THEM.
! Ryman "Poor old Squeers, the hair
dresser down the street, has lost the pa
tronage of most of bis lady customers."
I Cornwallis "Did he make a bad
break?"
f Ryman "Well, he put out a sign,
Haindyed while you wait.' " Muntey,s
"fc" -wrw
Weekly.
2 HARD LUCK.
i ' When were yoa in business, my poor
t man!" asked the lady of the house of
Bootless Bob, the tramp.
f "Yes, madam, but I was too honest.
I asked a woman who weisrhed 300
J .
the dog on me." JTw
HER TEST.
Mr. Bleecker "My adorable one! will
you be mine!"
Miss Emerson "Do you pronounce
the 'c' in ceramics hard or soft!" '
Mr. Bleecker "Soft."
Miss Emerson "Then . I cannot wed
you. Our natures are incompatible. We
should be unhappy." Judge.
PAPA COCLD PAY FOR THEM.
She (during the conversation about art
in dress) "I have had no experience
with American dressmakers. Papa al
ways buys my gowns in Paris."
He "How delightful! May I be al
lowed to express a wish!"
She "Why, certainly. What is it!"
He "That he will always do so."
Cloak HerUv,
HE WAS A JOKER.
School Commissioner "I want to give
you an order for an appropriate picture
to be hung in our new Hall of Elocu
tion." 43reat Artist "What shall it be! An
allegorical work? A figure?
Commissioner "Yes, that's it. Sup
pose you paint us a figure of Speech!"
Kate Field's Washington.
A LITERAL INTERPRETATION.
Mrs. Sanso "My dear, though you
complain about me upsetting things
while housec'.eaning, I see by this paoei
that out West the men and not the wo
man, attend to that work."
Sanso "Indeed?"
Mrs. Sanso "Yes. It tells of
Blizzard Bill entered th house
cleaned it out." Neu York Herald
how
and
CHOSE THE LESSER EVIL.
Miss Kate "I hope you won't think
me inquisitive, but everybody is wonder
ing why you married Mr. Brown."
Mrs. Brown "Well, my dear, I don't
mind telling
you. He was forever call-
ins" on
me, ana he ; became so tiresome
that I concluded to marry him. You
can't imagine what a change it has made
in him. I now have my evenings quite
at my own disposal." Boston Transcript.
NOT PRESSED FOR TIME.
The train mde a stopping at the
twenty-ninth crossing, and then the mild
iooking passenger turned, and blindly
inquired of the conductor what was the
matter with the tram. .
The Conductor (surlily) "If you don't
like the way this train runs, you can get
off and walk." , .
The Bland Passenger (more affably
j than ever) "Ob, nevermind; I'm in no
special hurry. Kate Field's Washington.
i
SHE PUT HER FOOT IN IT.
j The wife of a country minister sat in
the front porch mending clothes. A
j neighbor stepped in for" a friendly chat.
1 A basket half full of buttons was on the
j floor of the porch. The visitor said:
I 'Vm eppm tn ha wpll Kiirmlipfl witll
buttons, Mrs. Goodwin. My gracious!
if there arn't two of the same buttons my
husband bad last winter ou a suit."
"Indeed-!" said the ministers's wife,
calmly. "I'm surprised to hear it, as
these buttons were found in the conti
bution box." Dry Goods Ctjonicle.
HE RAISED THE BID.
The ioom was crowded aud the collec
tion of furniture, art and bric-a-brac be
ing usually choice the bidding had been,
very spirited. During an inierval of the
sale, a man with a pale and agitated
countenance pushed his way to the au
tioneer's side and engaged him in a
whispered conversation.
Presently he stood aside, and the au
tioneer rapped attention with his little
hammer.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he said, in a
loud voice, "I have to inform you
that a gentleman present has lost his
pocketbook, containg three hundred
dollars. He offers fifty dollars for its
return." .
Instantly a small man in the back-
j ground sprang upon a chair, and cried,
excitedly, "I'll give one hundred!"
i Youth's Companion. I
Legend of Clebach's Fountain.
Clebach's fountain was a holy well in,
the southern slope of Cruachaa, near
Roscommon, Ireland.' The legend is that
St. Patrick met here the two daughter o
King Leoghaire, Fedelm and Ethna, as
they c.ime fiom the royal palace of Roth
Cruachan to bathe in the fountain. The
maidens wondered at the appearance of
the venerable stranger surrounded by his
monks, and they questioned him eagerly
as to who he was and whence he came
and what kiag he served. When Patrick
told them of the lofty mission he bore,
the 2race of God touchel the hearts of
the maidens, so that they believed and
I were baptized in the waters of the iouo-
tain, which St. Patrick had blejsed for
he purpose. Immediately on coming
out of the water they prayed that they
might be unived with God, Patrick's
King, and be with him forever. . Almost
immediately the blush of health left their
cheeks and they calmly sank ta sleep in
death. Their bodies were laid side by
side at Clebach's fountain, which became
! ?nc J lhe.ho1 W1U of Irland' fam
for the miracles it
among the
people. St. Louis Republic
Ingredients of Brazil's Population.
! The pure whites of Brazil comprise
I about thirty-five per cent, of the total
population; twenty-five per cent, or so
! are Africans, and about thirty-five per
cent, mulattoes, while the remainder are
aboriginal Indians. In the northern
provinces the Indians are most numerous,
and In Rio de Janeiro, Bahia, Peinam
buco and Minas the Africans are to be
found in great numbers. The greater
part of the Europeans in Brazil (who
live in the seaport towns and the adja
cent provinces) are those from the Latin
races, chiefly the Portuguese and Spanish.
1 Detroit VrtA PrtMM-
and she sicked
York Recorder.
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL,
Electric welding is spreading.
Gas can be changed into liquid form."
Pails and tubs saturated with glycerine
will not shrink.
Galveston, Texas, has twenty miles of
electrical railwav.
The street cars of Springfield, 111., aro
supplied with electric heaters.
Copper tubes now manufactured by
means of electrical deposition.
Since 1S80 over 700 applications for
patents for electrical accumulators have
been made in England alone.
A good water-proof cement can be
made, it is said, from equal parts of red.
and white 'lead worked into stiff paste
with boiling linseed oil.
The creosoted wood floors of a build
ing recently burned in New York were
the only portion of the structure not de
strojed.; They were only charred.
To obviate the waste of steam in steam
hammers an improvement has been intro
duced in fitting the hammers with two
pistons of different diameters, compound-"
ing them in fact. "
Mica, which stands unique among
minerals as an insulating substance, is
destined to become one of Connecticut's
leading products. Three new mines
have recently been discoverd in that
State. .;"'.
A new embroidery machine for use in
in making linen handkerchiefs can turn
out finer work than any work done by
hand. The north of Ireland must adopt
the new methods if it wishes to retain its'
present leadership.
A late innovation is an electric railway
express service established in'a Western
town, by means of which, for a small
charge, all the packages bound out
ward for the suburbs are gathered up
at the depot and then delivered - along
the. route.
The production. of electrically welded
steel chains will soon become ac impor
tant industry in this country. The steel
chain will be one:third lighter than the
present iron chain, with as great a ten
sile strength, and can be produced at
considerable less cost. '
At the coming Frankfort electrical ex
hibition a large balloon will be sent up.'
The power, sending up and maintaining
it will be electricity, which will be ob
tained from a large dvnamo on the
ground. A telephone will connect the
passengers with those oa terra firma.
Cream of tartar is the tartaric ncid of
grapes, and may be used in water with
sugar as a substitute for grape juice.
It is the substitution ol mineral acid for
.those of fruits and vegetables that is sa
injurious to health; for instance, sul
pheric acid invinegar for the natural
fruit acid.
. The North German Lloyd Steamship
Company's managers have concluded to
stick to the single screw for all their new
steamships, believing that a single pro
peller whirled by a mighty triple expan
sion engine is more effective than4win
screws operated by 'two engines whose
combined power does not exceed that of
the single-screw ship.
A saw has been designed for cutting
iron, mild steel or other metals of fairly
large sections. The inventor of this ap
pliance claims that it is a cold iron saw at
once simple, powerful and effective. It
is always in readiness for work, and can
be manipulated by inexperienced work-,
men: The machine is stated to be
capable of making 400 cuts through bars
of Bessemer steel four inches in diameter,
each cutting occupying six minutes ou
an average, without changing the saw.
Hats and Heads.
. It has been noticed by Henry Heath, .
who sends hats all over the world from
Calcutta to Peru, that different nationali
ties possess heads of distinctive sizes and
shapes. For instance, Germans have
very round heads, a peculiarity shared
by our own royal famiiy. The average
English head is what hatters call a good
shape that is, rather long. The Scotch,
one is not surprised to learn, are very
long-headed. Canadians arc 'distinguished
by exceptionally large heads, South
Americans by very small ones. . Austral
ians, again, have, rather small heads.
The subject is an interesting one and
worth pursuing further if space allowed.
The heads of individuals also vary a good
deal from time to time, shrinking during
illness or mental worry, and generally,
becoming smaller with advancing years.
As to shape, there is tuch a thing as
fashion, but it only affects mashers; men
stick to much the same shape year after
jear. Pall Mall (Jaulte.
Swimming to Chnrcb.
A girl named Nyangaadi, who lived
near the Ogowe River, West Africa,1 one
Saturday came in her canoe with two
bunches of plantains to sell to the mis
sionary. WLen she was going away 3Irs.
Batcbelor, the missionary's wife, said to '
her: k "Now, you must not forget that
to-morrow will be the Sabbath day, and
you have aheady promised to come every
time." "Yes," said the girl, "I will
surely come if I am alive." And so she
did. but no one knew how she got there,
until, at the close of the service, she told
the girls that in the night her canoe had
been stolen, and none of her friends
would lend her oae; but she had prom
ised to come to church, and so she felt
she must. She swam ail the way. The
current was swift, the , water deep, and
the river fully a third of a mile wide;
but by - swimming diagonally she suc
ceeded in crossing the river. New York
Obtereer.
Russia's Kohl-Snppe.
Kohl-suppe to the Russians is what the
pot-au-feu is to the French. A large cab
bage is ctit info quarters and put in a
stewpan, with a pound each of fish .
(usually sturgeon), beef and mutton, an
ounce of salt, and is covered with cold
water.- This is allowed to cook
for about fonr or five hours until
the meat. and fish can be shredded,
when It is skimmed, seasoned with salt
and pepper, and sent to table in a deep
tureen, New York Journal,
4