THE CHARLOTTE MESSENG
VOL. 111. NO. .37
THE
Charlotte Messenger
IS PUBLISHED
Every Saturday,
AT
CHARLOTTE, N. C.
In the Interests of the Colored People
of the Country.
Able and **ll known writers will contrib
ute to its columns from different parts of the j
Tcuntrr, and it will contain the latest Gen
*»ral News of the day.
The Messenger is a first-class newspaper
and will not allow personal abuse in its col
umns. It is not sectarian or partisan, but j
independent- dealing fairly by all. It re-;
-crves the right to criticiae the shortcomings
of all public officials—commending the
worthy, and rrcommending for election such
men as in its opinion are beat suited to aerve
the interests of the people.
ft is intended $o supply the long felt need
of a newspaper to advocate the rights and
defend the interests of the Negro American,
especially in the Piedmont section of the
Carolina*.
SUBSCRIPTIONS:
{Always hi Advance.)
1 vear - - - 91 .V)
* months - - 100
months - 7ft
*4 months fto
U months - - 40 j
Address,
W. C. SMITH, Charlotte NC,
A circus was sold at auction in Phlva.
dcipUia recently. Emp;ess, a vicious
elephant, who killed her keeper last year
and has mangled two or three other
keepers, was knocked down for $1,500.
Queen, another elephant, not so vicious,
brought SI,OOO. Chief, a vicious ele
phant, brought $1,300. A Bengal tiger !
was sold for $350, a leopard for SIBO, an i
African spotted hyena for $45, a sable j
antelope for S4OO, and a big lioness for j
$250.
a_.
On a recent morning another camel, I
the second, was born in Druid Hill Park, j
Baltimore. It was a male, the first one j
having been a female. “It is a comical 1
looking arrangement,”says the Baltimore .
Sun, “and is composed mainly of legs
and neck; it is about five feet tall and
four feet long, and but for the two extra
legs and'its light brown color would look
tomewhat like an ostrich. But as it is,
Dne could allow his imagination to stretch
i little and say jt has the appearance of a
iude looking for jiis collar-button which
had rolled trade! a bureau. The little j
thing made several attempts to rise, but
not having been in this country long
enough to know how to manage its long
legs, its efforts did not meet with any
great success I”
There are blacksmiths and blacksmiths.
Some making their living by shoeing
nurses, and others take contracts to make
drop-hammers for the French Govern
ment. A firm of Brooklyn blacksmiths
is working its factory night and day on
one of these contracts, given out last fall j
by one of General Boulanger’s agents.
This firm has supplied drop-hammers to
France, Germany, Spain and Turkey,
and has had so many orders from foreign
governments that it has scarcely time to
•In business with common people. Drop
hammers are used in cannon-making, and
the Brooklyn firm’s work told in the
Franco-German and Turco-Russian war.
So long as the United States keeps at
peace, there is no reason why its manu
facturers shouldn’t make a ready profit
from the quarrels of other nations, which
-s a very comforting reflection. _
Wither effort is almut to be made to
discover the North Pole. Alexander Mao
Arthur, a gentleman who has made »
‘pi i ial study of arctic explorations, ae
eompanied by a drug elerk named Young, i
has -tarted from Winnipeg, Manitoba, for
Selkirk, with a load of provisions of
aI -i i:11 1.400 jaiuntls, his destination being
the North Pole. For a long time Mr.
-M«>-Arthur bus been in communication
with the Smithsonian Institution at
Washington and other scientific insti
tute in the United States, with* view of
making explorations in the Northern
B eas. aud if possible pushing northward
in the ultimate hope of discovering the
N nil Pole. Before he left he stated that
he would not probably return for two or
three years, and sjwike of going to Baffin s
ilav to look for musk ox. His plan was
to take dog trains from Selkirk, but as
they rould not lie procured, he has de
cided to take ponies and start across the
lakes. The object in starting early was
to permit of the horses being returned
before the ire on the lakes breaks up. He
took with him a letter of credit for
11. 50A i m the Hudson's Ba’y Company,
York Factory, also a large supply of
trinkets, etc., such as might please tha
entire eye. From York Factory he ei
|iects to travel by a clog train. He also
took a supply of scientific instruments.
Mr MneArthur is convinced that his plan
is the only feasible one to accomplish the
end.
•harity.
Bhc does not live to pleaso tho eye
With fragile loveliness,
But common ways to sanctify,
And humble hearts to bless.
In purling is the stream not wise?
In carolling the bird?
Ay! so is she in sacrifice,
And smile and loving word.
Israel Jordan, in Youth's Companion.
MY SPEECH
After two seasons of hard toil, and
two winters spent in the cold seclusion
of those Colorado Mountains, we gave
u P. our B *® ver m inc and abandoned the
claim. I was quite ready to return. Two
years away from a razor, two years of
bacon, beans, syrup and canned corn ;
two years of struggle with sour dough:
two years sjjcnt at an altitude where it
takes six hours’ boiling to cook potatoes
(astoning phenomenon to every tender
foot) cured my mining fever for evermore.
I joined that great procession which
the railroads never advertise, the dis
gusted ones returning East or West from
those silver lodes with twisted back bones
and empty pockets.
Home again I learned, to my amaze
ment, that Cousin Brooks, one of the
most stupid boys that ever gaped over
his books, had just become Governor of
the State!
When I went West to find an opening
for my money, Brooks was a sedate, hard
working lawyer. I never supposed he
would earn his salt.
After becoming tolerably well ac
quainted with mother again, and the
boys, and making brief vain quest fur
employment, I took a run up to the capi
tol one day to sec Brooks. He greeted
me cordially. He always did like me. I
suppose because I used to help him out
in his lessons, between thrashings, al
though upon leaving school I bore a re
morseful feeling that I had been unmer
ciful to poor Brooks.
He was in his official apartment at the
state room, a lofty room with frescoed
ceiling, huge plate windows, elaborate
furniture, library, and elegant writing
desks. He was sequestered by ante
rooms and guarded by ushers, but I went
straight through to his presence without
a check, while the clerks stared in sur
prise. This was because I so
Brooks that I came upon them like a».
parition, for he and I were of similar
form behind the same ancestral nose.
Greeting over:
“Aud how are the mines, Chug?”
“They are still there.”
“You have made your fortune West, I
hope?”
“No. The West did pretty well. I
didn't. The West kept all I took there.”
He looked at me doubtfully. Brooks
never quite understood my way of talk
ing. Yet I speak clear classic English,
always.
“You haven’t lost every cent, Chug?”
“Oh no. If I can sell ray mine for a
hundred thousand I am all right.”
“Is is good for anything?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Hum l” Brooks was a fine looking
fellow, large, portly, benignant. A kind
hearted man, somewhat changed since I
•aw him last. He had aged greatly, far
more than I, notwithstanding all the
vicissitudes and bacon I had undergone.
He seemed more serious, more fatherly,
and appeared tired. He looked at mo
with something of the old appeal in his
face.
“Stay here and help me, Chug. I had
to discharge my secretary yesterday. He
was a schemer, more anxious to gain out
side friends than to do his duty by me.
I want somebody who is reliable. It pays
two thousand a year. Probably I can
put some perquisites in your way also.”
As a kindness to Brooks I consented.
He led me over to a handsome work
desk charged with innumerable pigeon
Doles, rolls of red tape, seal stamp, wax,
and other vital elements of government.
A pile of letters and documents already
burdened the slope.
I sat down itefore a half ream of
selected mail, my brief instructions being
for this heap: “Say no to every want, but
make a friend of every writer.” This
mountainous task strained my early sab
bath school training severely. However,
: I evolved a general letter applicable to
most of these cases and submitted it to
I Brooks. He was good enough to praise
its conciliatory tact and gracious denial,
and I proceed to duplicate the form and
scatter No broadcast.
An hour latter Harold, our clerk, ap
peared at the door.
“Here is the prison delegation.”
Brooks put clown his documents and
straightened up with great concern.
“Let me sec, what do they want? Chug,
there is a memorandum on your desk some
where. ”
I searched and found the appointment
slip.
Tuck., 11 a. M., Cedar County delegation to
urge amelioration of convict*
Brooks ran his hand through his hair.
“Why do they bother me now! Why
can’t they torture those fellows in the
Legislatures -- uA after they get in their
bill come and ask of my approval? Why
consume my time for an object so remote,
What shall Ido with ’em Chug? I have
: more work here already than I can finish
i in good season.”
I “Do!” I exclaimed, rising energetically
and feeling something of the old scorn
for him, “why, man, let 'em in. Say:
‘Fellow citizens, I am proud to meet you;
frlad to see the cause of our criminals en
itting the sympathy of such advocates,
and anything I can do to further the good
; work, be assured I sliall rejoice to do.
At the same time all government move*
by routine, and I must commend you to
i the usual procedures. Secure Legislative
, action affecting the ends you aim at, and
as I feel sure the object will be justifiable,
i J shall take pleasure in signing your bill.’
CHARLOTTE, N. C. SATURDAY, MARCH 26, 1887.
That’s all. Remain standing and lei
them stand. Fidget to and fro from your
desk. Lc t them k now you arc in a hurry,
although courteous, rad get rid of ’em
quick.”
“Cedar county,” mused Brooks. “I
don’t know anybody up here likely to be
in this delegation - Chug, you look a good
deal like me. You may receive theso
pcple and act as Governor.”
“No, thank you!” 6aid I, bolting to my
desk and catching up my pen.
“Hallo?” cried Brooks, with slow sar
casm, ‘ ‘you can brag, but not perform,
eh?”
This Uunt reply 6tung me. It wax
quite unlike tho Brooks of my school
days. I used to pride myself on superior
force. It would never do to let him find
me larking nerve, or my old ascendency
would vanish wholly. 80 I promptly rose
again.
“Why, I can receive the delegation if
you reaily want me to Brooks, but—"
“All right., Chug, you may reccjve
them. Treat them well. That will give
me time to go over this paper, and I must
do_it before noon.”
1 was somewhat agitated. To confront
these fellows face to face grew every in
stant more disagreeable to me. For two
years I had rusted in the mines. Proba
bly this delegation contained preachers,
lawyers, practiced spokesmen, to answer
whom would require more than mere au
dacity. But Harold stood looking at
perplexed, and Brooks himself was peer
ing up from his papers with a covert
smile. I put a bold face on it.
“Here, Harold, help me put these
chairs in the private room.” And I seized
an arm chair in each hand.
Harold looked at Brooks with aston
ishment and protest.
“You will need the chains, of course,”
he said.
“No, I’ll make ’em stand. I’ll soon
get rid of the prison delegation,” I cried
emphatically. Brooks nodded, and Har
old unwillingly joined in removing every
cl-air to the inner apartment, save tha
enes which Brooks and I had occupied.
•‘Now bring ’em,” said I; and while
Harold was gone I threw off my coat,
untied my neck band, put my watch in
open sight upon the desk, and took a
pen, freshly dipped in ink.
“I’ll let these fellows know that time
is precious! ” I said decisively, looking
down at Brooks.
The door opening from the ante-room
swung on its hinges. Harold appeared
upon the threshold. lie gave a look ol
dismay as he saw me in my shirt-sleeves,
but I stood erect and firm. There was a
rustling of silks, a prophetic fragrance,
soft murmuring voices, and then a bevy
of ladies flowed suddenly into the
room. I stared dumbfounded.
“Great ! cr ladies I ”
I dropped my pen, sprang to my coat,
and plunged my arms frenzicdly into the
sleeves.
“Excuse me, ladies, I , I had for
gotten the , the sex of your delega
tion , it is such a hot day ”
I fumbled my necktie. The horrible
fear came over that I had failed to comb
my hair that morning. Mother accused
me of rank neglect since my return from
Colorado. But I caught sight of a dis
tracted phantom in the mirror; happily,
ury hair, thougli somewhat browsv, boro
suggestions of combing.
“Governor,'’ said Harold gravely, “Let
me introduce Mrs. Minor, the head cf
the delegation.”
Now I ought to have bowed in a state
ly way and said: “Madame, I am happy
to meet you and to find that prison re
form enlists advocates at once so fair and
capable.”
But I did not say this. I observed that
Mrs. Minor was a tall, matronly lady,
with gray hair, Roman features and pale
complexion, very stylishly dressed in
black, with while lace about her throat
aud wrists. I observed that her compan
ions were mostly elderly, well-bred, taste
fully attired, self-possessed and eminently
ladylike. At the rear were some younger
women, notably one brunette, with flash
ing black eyes, wearing a broad-brimmed
bat, with a rich red plume and a brocaded
lark red velvet dress, with a profusion of
-Hibons. She looked demurely over the
shoulders of her companions directly into
my eyes, and I, but just returned front
such a long exile, unused to feminine
proximity, was instantly bereft of all
senses.
I stood irresoluc. Mrs. Minor also
stood a moment hesitating. Then as I
made a halting movement forward she
held out her gloved hand, which I shook
awkwardly.
“We ought to be old friends,” said I,
glancing ut Brooks, who buried his head
in documents, while his chair shook sus
piciously, “for I was a miner myself un
til”—
The appalling reflection that in my im
personation as Governor all reference to
my Colorado experience was out of place,
now tripped the remark. I added, to
complete the sentence: “Until I became
of age.”
Brooks glanced up with agony in his
face, a look which conjured me whatever
else I did by all the gods not to profane
his identity through such abhorrent
puns.
Mrs. Minor introduced her companions
to me. “ Mrs. Grillin, Miss Minx, Mrs.
Qualter;” and site went through the
group, standing a little aside so as to
keep the ladies and myself in our re
spective places. I felt perspiration
trickle over my brow as I bowed to Miss
Mulwine, the brunette, who was the last
one presented. A desperate desire to do
something gallant came over me.
“ Take seats, ladies; sit down. Er—
Harold, where are the chairs? Bring in
the chairs, sir! The chairs ought always
to be here."
Harold winked, put one hand over his
jaws and staggered into the back room,
lie did not reappear. but handed forth
the chairs behind the partly open door
without showing his countenance. Then
I beard him go out into the ante room by
way ot the ttacK corridor, and became
conscious, from the shuffling feet, that
he had posted all the clerks against tho
communicating door so that they would
overhear my speech.
There were not chairs enough for the par
ty, so I took the chair from my desk and
placed it for Miss Mulwine. I remained
standing before them.
“ Mr. Governor, we have come to ask
your co-operation in ameliorating the
condition of our convicts.”
Here was another great opportunity. If
I had kept my head; if that paralyzing
bt unnette had not eyed me so steadily, I
might have said:
“Ladies, the condition of our convicts
has long enlisted my anxious study.
Nothing stirs my sympathy; nothing
seems to me of greater importance than
improvement in facilities for their com
fort and moral welfare. Any practical
measure which you have matured will
command my cordial support.”
But I didn’t say that. Instead, I re
plied :
“Yes, there is too much laxity. Those
frequent escapes remind me of our expe
rience in Colorado. A drunken miner
shot a fellow one night, and the sheriff
took him to the Town Jug and locked
him up. The jug was only a log build
ing set in the hillside. He got out so
quick that he met the sheriff on his re
turn in front of the Welcome Bar, and
asked him to stop in and take a drink.
Then the crowd carried him off to the
nearest tree. He didn’t get away that
time.”
‘ ‘Perhaps you do not quite understand
us,” said Mrs. Miner, gravely. She un
folded a large package and disclosed a
mass of papers, “Here are the petitions,
circulated in every church in our county
and signed by all the best people, asking
that greater social and religious privi
leges be extended to our criminals.”
“You don’t get them up as handy as
wo did in Colorado,” I rejoined. “When
we had our struggle for the county seat
we strung the petition on an old wringer
frame so we could roll it up with a
crank.”
Brooks gave a loud “hem!” I looked
across. He was glaring at me in warning
wrath, and apainT recollected that these
Colorado reminiscences were inopportune.
I started around, caught the unfathom
able eyes of that marvelous brunette, and
lapsed into hopeless incapacity.
“Pardon me for interrupting you, Gov
ernor,” said Brooks, in a cool, earnest
voice, which at once commanded silence
and attention. “But it is fitting these
ladies should know that their petition
ought to be given to their representative,
and he should press for appropriate leg
islation. Until that time this office is
powerless to act. ”
Mrs. Minor replied: “Oh, we quite'
understand that. AVc only wished to
show the petitions for a moment here as
evidence of their popularity, and ascer
tain the Governor’s feelings toward the
movement.”
“Entirely favorable, madam,” said I.
‘ ‘Then we will bid you good day and
withdraw. I know your time is valu
able. Many thanks for your kindness.”
They bowed. The clerks scattered in
the ante-room and the ladies retired
gracefully, while I stood stupid, not yet
recovered from the surprise of their ar
rival. The door closed Dehind them.
There was silence a moment. Brooks
sat with his back turned. He lifted up
a page of manuscript and remarked with
flattering emphasis:
“Chug, you made a beautiful speech.”
“Oh, shut up! shut up!” I cried wild
ly, throwing myself into a chair.
Brooks’s fortitude suddenly gave way.
He cast himself forward on his desk and
laughed hilariously. He rose and bowed
himself shrieking over a chair. He
dropped full length upon the sofa, on top
of the pamphlets, helpless and uproari
ous. He ha-ha-ed all over the office and
crowded me with his outrageous mirth.
When at last he was completely exhaust
ed he sat down and faced me, quizzi
cally.
It dawned upon ray mind that Brookt
aud I had changed positions; that th<
superior force of character, perhaps, now
was his; that the coolness in emergencies
1 which is the test of strength, was mosl
I manifest in him. Inspired in this dis
! covery, and by this occasion, I justly re
i marked:
“I believe I am the biggest fool of all
our state officers.”
Ere I had concluded I became aware
that the door was open. A perfume ol
jockey-club floated to my senses. Harold,
grinning, had shown in the beautiful
brunette, and she w as upon the threshold,
looking and listening.
“Did I leave my parasol?" she asked
sweetly.
Harold picked :* from the floor for her.
She bowed and went away.
Once more Brooks hung himself in
festoons over all the furniture, entirely
careless of his own reputation in tilt
matter. When this unseemly mirth sub
sided he came to me where I sat with
moist brow, clasped in both hands up
right before my desk, and said sootn
“&cver mind, Chug. Life is but a
succession of mistakes, with the best ol
us.”
“Yes,” I replied. “So far as lam con
cerned. I begin to observe that."
Vigilance Rewarded.
Mrs. Hetty Green, the richest woman in
America, her fortune being estimated at
$25,000,000, recently paid a visit to
Chicago to look after her property inter
ests there, she being the owner of build
ings valued at $1,000,000. While wan
dering through one of the structures to
which she holds title, the janitor begun
j asking questions, and not receiving natis
j factory replies, asked her to withdraw.
! Mrs. Green admired the man’s vigilance
so much that she increased his wages s
I dollar a week.
DRIVING SHEEP AT NIGHT. |
QUEER NIGHTLY PROCESSIONS IN
NEW YORK STREETS.
Flocks of Sheep From the Count ry [
on Their Way to the Slaughter ;
Houses—The Cosset.
Sometimes a bit of quiet country life is i
brought in and dropped down against the j
roaring background of the city's swirl
and rush in such away that the most oh- ;
tuse finds himself moralizing on the
strange contrasts the town affords. Take
these queer processions of sheep that arc
driven through the streets from the North
River to the East every night. The
driver lias the odor of country soil upon
his boots, the sheep bring with them a
suggestion of green hills, and the very
dog, so used to having his own way,
creeps close at his master’s heels, awed
into semi-silence by the crush of great
piles of brick all about. The bleating of
the close-huddled flock and the crack of
the driver’s whip echo all out of place
down in the deep canyons the buildings
make of the street.
It isn’t every thoroughfare that these
sheep take, and, qnlike death, they
haven’t all season for their own. Only
the streets above Forty-second street are
open to them, and not a flock is allowed
to start before 10 o’clock at night. This
makes the thing all the more peculiar—
the midnight march of the doomed ani
mals through the deserted streets to the
shambles. From 10 o’clock until 4or 5
o’clock in the morning there is an unin
terrupted procession of flocks across
town.
The favorite thoroughfare, and the
one almost exclusively used, is Sixty
second street. That leads up to the
transverse road through Central Park and
so on down to the slaughter houses at the
foot of East Forty-fourth street. AVhat
with the swearing of drivers, the bleating
and dust of the passing animals, the
barking of the dogs and the following of
wagons to pick up the halt and lame that
fall by the wayside, people living along
the line of march learn to bless this
nightly procession that lends variety to
their street and sleeplessness to their
homes. But in spite of police regula
tions and Aldermanic ordinances, the
sheep continue to take the even tenor of
their way across town.
Still their way across is not always an
even-tenor sort of way. Sheep have been
known to be obstinate and that makes
their way sometimes an uneven kind of
tenor, not to say base. Years ago, when
the law permitted sheep to be driven
through the streets in the daytime, the
leader of a passing flock jumped through
one door of a blockaded street car and ran
out the other. With praiseworthy per
sistence the entire flock of 200 followed
their leader as eager as a crowd of school
boys “doing stunts.” The company
didn’t use that street-car for a long time.
Most of the sheep thus driven come in
at the west side depots about Fifty-ninth
street. They come from Orange county,
this State, and from Kentucky and Ohio
principally. It is a wise provision of na
ture that Kentucky, the State that pro
duces the best spring lamb, also produces
the best and most delightfully flavored
mint. The lamb and the mint sauce are •
often indigenous to the same hillside.
These sheep that come all the way from
the blue-grass country are naturally not
used to the niceties and refinements of city
ways. Sometimes they do things that
the veriest chit of a city bred lamb would
be ashamed to do. The other evening an
electric light threw a broad glint of white
light across the street. The first animal
that came to it paused, bunched its legs
together and with a great leap cleared the
light space. Just 159 sheep followed aud
jumped at this same beam of light, as if
it were a ditch.
At the railway yards they keep a little
{iet lamb that lives a kind of traitor life,
t gets well acquainted with the sheep
that come in, and having secured their
confidence leads them across town to tho
shambles. Then having fulfilled its mis
sion the cosset goes back to the yards and
the next night betrays another flock the
same way. Thus it earns its feed at the
expense of the lives of other members of
its family and lives in clover while be
traying the confidence of its trusting
friends. Anybody who knows the first
tiling about animals can tell that this cosset
knows what it is doing. This Sunday
school-book talk about lamb-lke inno
cence is all bosh. A latnb is generally
innocent because it can’t help itself, but
give one a chance to play this trick and
see how quickly it will acet'pt. The lamb
must stop posing as a picture of innocence.
It is unmasked at last. —New York World,
Bate of the End of tho World
Sir W. Thompson, lecturing at the
Roval Institution, London, lately, set
forth the latest scientific theories concern
ing the origin, total amount and possible
duration of the sun’s heat. After refer
ring to the theory of Helmholtz, that tho
sun was a vast globe gradually cooling,
but as it cooled shrinking, nnd that the
shrinkage —which was the effect of gravi
ty upon its mass—kept up its tempera
ture, said: “ The total of the sun’s heat
was equal to that which would be required
to keep up 478,000 millions of millions ol
horse power or about 78,000 horse power
for every square metre—a little more than
a square yard—and yet the modern
dynamical theory of heat shows that the
sun’s mass would require only to fall in
or contract thirty-five metres per annum
to keep up that tremendous energy. At
this rate tne solar radis in 2,000 years’
time would be about 100th per cent, less
than at present. A time would come
when the temperature would fall, and it
was thus inconceivable that the sun would
continue to omit heat aufficient to sustain
existing life on the globe for more that
10,000,000 years. — Philadelphia Ledger.
An Icelander is in Washington Terri
tory looking for a place to locate a colony.
Terms. $1.50 per Aim We Copy 5 cents.
SOLITUDE.
Not in the deepest tangles of the wood,
The turtle’s haunt, the timid squirrel’s iair;
Not on the ocean beaches, rough and bare
With never-ending battles, unsubdued
In war of winds and waters hoar and rude;
Not in the mountain passes, where the air
Sobs low, and life is like a long despair—
Thy home is not in these, O Solitude!
But in the busy concourse, long and loud,
Where not one pulse of human sympathy
Beats through the grasping spirits of tfc*
crowd—
Where each is rapt in snatching greedily
His brother's portion—’neath a shallow
shroud,
We know thy truest haunt and woep tc%
thee.
—Arthur L. Salmon , in Chambers's Journal
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
An unsteady man, like an unsteady
light, is apt to go out nights.— Burlington
Free Press.
“Where is the ideal wife?” asks a
prominent lecturer. In the cellar split
ting kindling, most likely.— Philadelphia
Call.
“They never throw anything away in
New England,” T. B. Aldrich said to mo
one day; “they always put it up in tho
attic.”— St. Nicholas.
There is a man in Cedar Rapid/} that
has such a weak and bony horse that
when it lies down he has to give it bak
ing powder in order to have it rise.—
Electric Light.
“What’s tho difference between a piano
and a gun, Charley?” asked a young wife
of her. non-musical husband. “A gun
kills the quickest, that’s all,” was the
staccato response. — Danville Breeze.
AN EARLY SPRING POEM.
Id the sprig the yon bad’s eds he frequently
prodoudees ed,
For the sprig is just the tibe for idfluedza of
the head.
-Life.
A new volume just issued is entitled
“The Anatomy of Money.” We trust an
entire chapter is devoted to the vocal
organs, to show how and why it is that
money talks and what it says.—Philadel
phia Press.
“It strikes me,” said a city and county
hall man yesterday, “that we do not
want any war with Canada. When we
were drafted in 1861-4 we knew where
to go, but in case of trouble with Canada
where could we goV—Buffalo Courier.
There arc 18,000 operatives engaged in
the collar and cuff trade at Troy, N. Y.,
at a pay-roll expense of $7,000,000 a year,
and in spite of this no one of them has
succeeded in turning out a collar that
won’t saw its wearer’s cars after the third
laundry visit.— Tid-Bite.
Oh, softly the lover did lute on his lute,
Neath the pale gentle light of the moon.
But he swiftly turned ana began to scoot
When he noticed the dangerous, large-sized
boot
Os the man who came too soon.
Alas, too soon.
— Merchant- Traveler
mssßsm —-
Proverbs Relating to the Moon.
Weather proverbs relating to the moon
are thus given by the Boston Journal:
When the moon is visible in the day
time, the days are relatively cool.
In western Kansas it is said that when
the moon is near the full it never storms,
and the sailors say the full moon eats
clouds.
If the full moon rises clear, expect fine
weather.
A large ring around the moon and low
clouds indicate rain in twenty-four hours;
a small ring and high clouds, rain in sev
eral days.
The larger the halo about the moon the
nearer the rain clouds, and the sooner tho
rain may be expected.
When the moon is darkest near the
horizon, expect rain.
If the full moon rise pale, expect rain.
A red moon indicates wind.*
If on her cheeks you see the maiden's bhish.
The ruddy moon foreshows the winds will
rush.
If the moon is seen between the scud
and broken clouds during a gale, it is
expected to scud away the bad weather.
In the old of the moon a cloudy morn
ing bodes a fair afternoon.
If there be a general mist before sun
rise near the full of the moon, the weather
will be fine for some days.
If the moon show a silver shield,
Be not afraid to reap your Held,
But if she rises halved round.
You soon will tread on deluged ground.
The rising or setting of the moon will
be. followed by a decrease of a storm
which is then prevailing.
The Liquor Code of Turkey.
A common impression prevails to the
effect that the Turks, among their other
virtues, number that of sobriety. This
cannot be literally true, for our late Min
ister, Mr. Cox, has been investigating tho
matter. The Turks have laws upon the
subject hf drunkenness and its punish
ment, and this is one of the clauses: “In
temperance is proved either by admission
of the person accused, or by witnesses
who have seen him in the act of drink
ing. The flavor of wine from one’s breath
is not a sufficient proof; he may have
eaten quinces,which give the same odor.”
Os course, every man who is fond of the
bottle will lay it on quinces. It is possi
ble that quinces supply in Turkey the
place of cloves in American barrooms.
Very few men will admit being drunk,
even when their tongues and legs I>ecome
hopelessly tangled. In view of the pun
ishment provided in Turkey for the of
fense, it is presumed that quinces have to
bear a heavy burden. “Punishment for
intoxication is, 'good advice for tho first
rime;’ a severe admonishment for the sec
ond time; and for every subsequent time
eighty blows of the cudgel over the
stripped Imdy. The striker, in operat
ing, must not lift his hand higher than
his shoulders, and the club he uses for
this occasion must bo a short one,”
ER.