the charlotte messenger
VOL. IV. NO. 12.
THE
Charlotte Messenger
IS PUBLISHED
Everj' Saturday,
AT
CHARLOTTE, N. C.
In the Interest* of the Colored People
of the Country.
AMettd well-known writer* will eontrih
•lie to its columns from different parte of the
•country. mid it will contain thejatest Gen
***l News of the day.
Ths Mussixobr is a first class newspaper
will not allow personal abuse in its col
"•nns. Itis not ewtarian or partisan, but
si'i lependent—dealing fairly by all. It re
serves the right to criticise the shortcomings
n f a,I [public officials— commending the
Worthy, and recommending for election such
men as in its opinion are best suited to serve
the interests of the people. . 1
It is intended to supply the long felt need
es a newspaper to advocate the rights ami
del end the inter sts of the Negro-American
especially in the Piedmont section of the
Carol in os.
SUBSCRIPTIONS:
(Always in Advance.)
1 year - - $1 .V)
-> months - - . 1 (X)
c> months - * 75
mouths - - ». 50
‘J months * *. .^5
Single Copy - - 5
Address,
W.C. SMITH Charlotte NC*
There is a typographical error in spell
if g f he word “trust” on the bark of the
new *r» silver certificates. There is an
fora “it,” making it “trast.” You
v. i 1 find it just over the letter “t” in the
word “States.”
The Americans living in I’aris held a
tr.ee ing on the evening of the day when
some of them had gone to decorate La
fayette’s grave, and passed resolutions to
th* effect that a proper return for the
gift of Bartholdi's stature would be a
statue of Washington, or of Washington
and Lafayette.to be offered to the French
people and to be set up in Paris April
•'lO, 1880, the centennial of the day when,
thanks to the assistance given by France
and Lafayette, our first President took
the oath of office.
“The recent attempt made by son ©
French aeronauts to reach a great height
above the earth has not been productive
of any paaticular scientific results,” says
the London Spectator. “The balloon in
which the ascent was made reached an
altitude of over 20,000 feet without the
occupants of the car experiencing any ill
effects, except a tendency to faintness on
the part of one of them. When about
twelve years ago a similar attempt was
made, and the height of 20,000 feet was
reached, it was with fatal results to three
out of the four aeronauts. The success
of the present experiment is explained
by the allegation that the difficulties due
to the rarefaction of the atmosphere
only begin at an altitude of 23,000 or
24,000 feet. This view seems supported
by the fact that in the Himalayas and
the Andes heights of about 20,000 feet
have been on several occasions readied
without any inconvenience. In such
cases, however, the ascent has always
been gradual. The ill effects experienced
in balloons are possibly due to the sud
denness of the change.”
The case of James Cline, a young
burglar who was shot in the head re
cently in New York, who was taken to
a hospital, hns become interesting to the
doctors. When he was taken to the
hospital his whole right f>Mc was para
lyzed. The paralysis first disappeared
from the face. It was thought that he
could not live, but in hope of saving his
life the operation of trephining was per
formed. Three torn arteries in the brain
were tied up, but the bullet which had
entered the left side of the head near the
top, could not be found without en
dangering the patient's life. After the
operation the paralysis seemed to leave
the right leg. but soon returned. Now
he is gradually regaining control of his
leg and arm. It was found that the
power of speech bad also left him. This
is attributed to the fact that that part of
the brain which usually appears to con
trol ihe vocal organs was entirely blown
sway or badly lacerated. Cline, the
do< tors say, will remain speechless until
some other part of the brain barns to
perform Ihe function of the destroyed
portion.
THE IVKAlrtl,! and THE tROI'S.
We >*ly Hi II ft in Issued by the United
States Signal Service.
Washington, October 3.—The follow
ji'g is the weather cro[> bulletin issued
by the signal office:
During the week ending Oclobcr 1 the
weather has been cooler tbuh usual in all
the agricultural districts east of the
ltocky Mountains, the average daily tom
perftture ranging from 3 tot> degrees be
low Porta d in the central valleys, except
from Virginia to Florida, where the
temperature was but slightly below the
normal. The temperature for the sea
son, from January 1 to October 1, was
slightly below the normal on the Atlan-1
tic coast and from New Knglaud west- j
ward to the Missouri Valley, aud it was j
slightly warmer than usual in Ohio and
central Vissipj i valleys, aud general!v.
throughout the Southern States, the av-'
erage daily excels or deficiency general-!
Iv amounting to less than 2 degrees.
K AIN FALL.
The rainfall for the week has been in
excess throughout the greater portions
of the cotton and tobacco regions, and
over the winter wheat regions from Ohio
westward to Missouri and lowa, In the
regions that have suffered most from
drought, eonvering the greater portion
of Illinois* southern Indiana, eastern Jo* !
wa and the greater portion of Missouri, j
the rain fall for the week has l*ocn large- ;
lv in excess. Less than ihe usual amount j
of rain fell along the South Atlantic I
coast, in northern New England, west j
era New York, Nebraska, and the north
western portions of lowa.
The large deficiency in rainfall for the
season continues in the central valleys,
but this deficiency has been reduced dur
ing the week in the wheat and corn re
gions of the Northern Stales. Over the
greater portion of the cottou region the
deficiency ha? exceeded 10 inches. In
the tobacco regions of Virginia. Ken
tucky and Tennesse the deficiency in
rainfall for the season generally amounts
to less than 5 inches, except in the ex
treme west portions of Tennessee and
Kentucky, where the deficiency iu rain
fall for the season exceeds 10 inches*!
The only states i©porting excess of rain- j
fall for the season are Pennsylvania, I
Man e, southern New York, the west j
portions of Cansas and Nebraska, north
ern Texas and Colorada.
THE COTTON HARVEST*
During the week the weather has been
favorable for harvesting cotton in the
States west of the Mississippi, and in the
extn m ■ eastern portions of the cotton re- \
gion, w hile cool weather and h avy ruins j
have effected this and other growing!
crops unfavorably in Mississippi.
KARL YFROSTS.
Frosts occurred in the northern portion
of the tobacco region of the Ohio valley
aud along tin Atlantic coast ;s far as
Virginia, which probably resulted iu
some injury to the crops. These frosts
w ere anticipated and warnings were issu
ed by this office, giving timely notice of
their occurrere .
GOOD FOR WINTER WHEAT.
The rains which have occurred during
♦he week in the winter wheat regions)
will prove of especial value, as the sow
ing of the wheat ha? bten delayed in
that section owing to the continuance of
the drought.
Jefferson's Ed neat ion.
For a boy born in a wilderness, Jeffer
son enjoyed remarkable advantages in
early youth, growing out of the fact that
the frontier was as yet so near the pireut
colony. Good English tuition at 5. .
Latin, Greek and Flench at It. regular
classical studies at 14, and a col lego
course at 17, fall to the lot of few Atuu i '
can backwoods boys. Trapping quail* j
and shooting wild turkeys, deerstalk
ing, fox limiting, aud horse racing do
not figure to any extent as his biograph
ical exploits. Jefferson the boy a book
worm—Jefferson the youth is the petted
member of an exclusive coterie, sorial, j
aristocratic, and literary. The accom- ,
plishmeuts and courtly habits of the
town effaces all the chara'deristics of the
country lad, or rather soften them down
and leave them but two iu number—the j
keen zest of horsemanship and a true love j
of nature —the pure and passionate ad- j
miration of plant ami blossom, of rock !
and stream, of fresh air ami blue sky. ,
These are the legacy of the forest; all else j
lie Icarus from books and the serial tra- 1
ditions which <1 rift from the old world j
to the new. Vet such is the strength of
nature's influences that by these two :
slender threads she held this nursling of 1
society and made hiui the apostle and
bulwark of that primitive cmality he
abandoned, against the pretension< and
claims of caste anti privilege to the favors
of which htp largely owed the develop
ment, if not the awakctiiug, of his genius.
Century.
Haymaking in the Alps.
The inhabitants of the Havanan Alps
depend largely upon their goats for s»d»-
ristence. They are very poor; they have
modest little homes among the moun
tains, their goats supply th* in with a
little milk, and they make cheese und
butter. Dread is quite rate, therefore
they grow | potatoes on a s auty farm to
take its place, and with these, and the
produce of their goats, the people live
an 1 keep healthy and strong. Tltry
gather as food for the goats the
which grow* on the almost inacces-iblo
shelve* of the mountain side?. A mower
is often in a dangerous position, let down
by his comrade* by a rujw in order to
cut gra-s. I nder him i* a precipice of,
ray. 1-V) f«et, which descends to a little
valley where hi* home is. lie cuts the
grafts, tie# it in a bund e. ami it is draw n
up to be dried iu tk: sun. /#•.»*.£
Mi’ll
CHARLOTTE, N. C„ SATURDAY, OCT. 8, 1887
General News Notes.
Franco will not to war witlr Ger
} many again, *o long M Von Moltkc and
! Hismark live.
The f resident's trip through the west
| ami south will cost him about ♦ 1,1100;
I instead of? 10,000 as Ihe New York Sun
j figured it.
I Cardinal Gibbons has gono to Port
j land, Oregon, to cooler the Pallium on
• Archbiahop Grosa, the former Bishop of
i Georgia.
| Governor Hill, of New York, never
I drinks wines or liquors of any tori. At
j a recent public banquet nnere he was to
; lie chief gucat he requeated that no wine
[ be used,
Six years ago Calvin Brice was running
| a little bank in Lima, Ohle. He was ene
lof the nun who built the Nickel Plate
toad and sold it to Vanderbilt at a price
which made the buildera millionaires.
Mr. Brice now lives in a Fifth avenue
palace and has contracted for a S3OO,
000 home at Newport.
The Vnited State* supreme court hav
ing decided that privilege taxes on
drummers are uot constitutional, a suit
I has been instituted in Mississippi, to
compel the disgorging of all such taxes,
1 "h:ch were collected before this derision
; The suit will hardly amount to anything.
I Mississippi promptly acquiesced 'in the
supreme court deeision,
DESTROYED BY THE WATER.
Villa*.. I .rnalei.lt Sweat Away-Creat
Sad'etla* ia Texas.
A dis|tatch from Brownsville, Texas, :
Siiya: It is reported that gnat distress \
prevails on both sides of the upper Lie ;
Grande country, on account of logh wa
ter. It‘is said that entire farms arc un
der water, and that families residing
near the river have l«cen washed out, and
have lost ail they had. A large number
|of these families have lost thtir entire
I ciops reaped during the past season. The
| river his overflowed Its lauiks tor miles,
; and looks like an ocean. The water Is
I still rising at Brownsville. Edinburg
I and LaPutltlo, situated sixty miles above
j Brownsville, have been washed from the
I face of the rarth; aud at Santa Maria
| tie water is gradually making its way to
destroy the plae-o.
Matches Tor the Blind.
" This is one of the cutest things in
ihe watch line that has yet appeared,”
said Jeweler t hurlcs S. Croesman, hold
; iug up one of the uew Swiss watches dc
.sigued for the use of the hliud. *' The
old raised figure watches were clumsy
and the blind |>eople were constantly
leadin'* or breaking the watch hands by
; touching them. In this watch a small peg
i is set in the centre of each figure. When
| the hour hand is approaching a certain
hour the peg for that hour drops when
the quarter oefore it is passed. The per
son feels the peg is down, and then counts
t ack to twelve. He can thus tell tho
| time within a few minutes, and by prac
tice he can become so expert as to tell tho
time almost exactly. They have lieen in
use about six months, and there isa steady
i and growing demand for them.—.W e
j Yvrt i>va.
WASHINGTON NOTES.
! thk rnnuMDCT wtu. stop at « uatta-
KOOOA, TENS.
Kx-ltcpmacntative IVttlbme, of Tenn
; osaee, headed a committee from Chatta
nooga, waited on the President and
1 urg> d him to stop at that city on his
coming trip to the South. Titc I’resl
dent informed the Chattamaiga commit
j tee that he would :p ud one hour in that
i city on his way from Nashville to At
lanta on Monday, October IT,
l OVIMKtM K WITH SPAIN.
The Frvaidt nt Inis issued a proclaim
j lion removing the discriminating duties
I against Spanish commerce, he having
ben officially assured by memorandum
lof an agreement la-tween the American
sm rotary es State aad the S|wuiish minis.
| ter at Washington that ne such duties
■ were enforced by Spain against Am-ris
i can commerce.
A Case of Deliberate Wisc Murder.
A dispatch from Chattanooga, Tcnn ,
I says: A white fisherman named John
Davis was arrested for the murder of his
wife and committed to jail without Iwil.
Mrs Davis died Monday week very smi
th tdy. Davis stated at the timo that
sh ■ bid eaten a hearty sup|-«r and was
dead in an hour and a half. Suspicious
i circumstances aroused the officials, and
the remains were disinterred smith* fact
was revealed tbit the skull had boon
fractured by a blow. Davis' sens claim
tbit their mother had fallen in a fit and
bruised herself, but later information is
tu the effect tbat Davis hurried the re
. w ains to the grave without allowing nay
one to examine the baly. It ia dearly a
j cate of delibrate wife-murder.
Sharp Goes to Sing Sing.
A dispatch from Now Y'ork, aaya: The
Supreme Court in gsnrral trim afiirned
the judgement of coavirtwn in the •aw
of Jacob Sharp, all four of the Judina
i concurring. The rase ean h* xp]w-sleit
to ihe Co nt of Appeals, but Snarp w|ll
j I r sent to Stag Hing at vac*.
Saratoga Chips.
“Do Saratoga chips come from Sara
toga?" inquired a Mail and Erprm re
porter of a New York grocer.
“Not much,” said the grocer. “They
are made in this city, and many are
! shipped to Saratoga. But if you want
j lo know all about them just go Up to the
bakery and see how they are made. ”
At the bakery it was learned that the
concern has a monopoly of the business
j iu this city, and that there arc only three
makers of Saratoga chips in the country.
; Chips are an American institution, aiid
are uot known nboad save for some small
j lota that have been exported. The pro
' cess of manufacturing is in part a secret.
The potatoes are peeled and sliced by
machinery. They are washed and dried
( between muslin clothes. If they were
t now fried the amount of starch that they
' contain would make them brown, and
j the secret of the business is to remove all
! of the starch, so that the chips will be
perfectly white. When this is dono they
\ are put into the hot grenso, and come out
curled and crisp and with the delicious
flavor that lias made them famous the
wotld over. Said the manager:
“We use scvcnty-fivfe barrels of pota
toes a week, keep seven Iwkets nt Work,
and have three wagons out delivering.
Hotels take them by the barrel,
restaurants take them in twenty-five
j |iound boxes, and for grocers to serve to j
; private families we nut them up in one -
! pound cartons. Tnc dining cars on
| nearly all the railroads use them, and we
have sent some to England. Cities ns
I far away as Jacksonville, Florida, and
i Pan Francisco send to us .for Saratoga I
j chips. They will keep for three months.
A few minutes in a hot oven makes them
as crisp as, though they were just
j fried.”
Washington's Wonderful Monument.
I have been living'now forsqme months
| at a distance of a mile away, in full view
' of the Washington monument, looking
directly upon its eastern face, says a cor
respondent of the Kansas City Journal.
It never seemed twice alike. It has its
moods and changes of color, like the tops
l of the Swiss Alps. This morning the
base of the 600-foot structure was lost in
a deep blue mist, which tilled the valley
for a depth of a couple hundred feet.
Then came a section of, perhaps, 100
feet more in which the shaft was purple
and pink, the whole crowned with a
! white blaring colnmn, hundreds of feet
high, flashing back the sunlight, set
agaiust a deep blue western sky! At
another time you will see the cold, gray
base of the monument rising above the
deep green foliage which surrounds it,
- with the dark blue highlands of Arling
ton beyond, and overtopping all these
the graceful shaft pierces the heavens,
towering far above the horizon line, until
its top is lost in a sea of fleecy clouds.
It is a realized vision of Jacob’s ladder,
a real visible stono causeway leading
from heaven to earth. Do you know of
any other monument like this? A few
evenings ago there was n grand thunder
shower in the cast. The west was black
with darkness, and even the white monu
ment was blotted out of sight. But .'it
every flash of the lightning the whole
eastern face of the monument gleamed
and flashed like a polished sword, coming
out of the darkness with n suddenness
and vividness that was startling. It
seemed to be a ghastly monument, a col
umn of electricity, which leaped from
the earth to the sky. lam sure no other
monument in this world can exhibit such
a phase as that.
YYhcrc Dancing is a I’nssion.
1 presume those who have not traveled
in Spain hardly realize how thoroughly
that country is given to the worship <•(
St-Vitus. Snvs a recent writer: “Ti c
dance demon seizes on Spaniards at a l
times and under all circumstances—it
1 the streets, on tho public squares, under
the porches of the stately mansions. A
j peripatetic musician comes along strum
mine his guitar, and in an instant the
maid servants throw aside their broom-,
the work women set down the pitchers
' they are carrying to the fountain, the
muleteers leave their mules, the inn
keeper forgets your dinner, and ail spring
forward, arms akimbo and eyes spark
ling. Their feet just touch the ground,
i they balance in unison with the music
and dance with their souls as well as
with their bodies. Let a tourist pay a
visit to Toledo and put up at the ancient
- hostelry of Dc Lino, and let a guitar
player station himself under the great
sombre arehwav that Don Quixote him
i self would not have passed without a
■ foreboding of evil. He will sec with his
own eyes how the natural order of things
will lie disarranged and everything
thrown into confusion. A fandango will
j begin in the court, the kitchen und the
1 street, and amid such a hubbub that ho
| will think that he has taken leave of his
■ senses. One day at St. Sebastian the
regiment passed by with a band at its
| head. A fandango was played. Even
j the children who had been industriously
engaged in making dirt pics pricked up
' their ears, caught each other by the
; wi-ts, and tried logo through the steps.
Their nurses joined in, snapping their
fingers. The pasacra-hy came to the as
sistance of Ihe nurses. The soldiers
, themselves couldn't stand the tempta
\ lion, hut fell out of the ranks and min
gled in the dance.
A “Fair” Joke.
Suppose, at the fair, they should offer some
j day
Two washing machines to hestow
On the good, honest farmer, who sent the beet
hay.
1 Th* competition would never be slow.
Then, nippw, at the fair, the winner should
get
A cloth and some soap for his pains;
! And told "they were trashing machines, you
just bet! '
The committee gets up anti es plains.
You need not call that a rheat and a lie,
And go off like some gunpowder smoke,
Unfair you might call ft; yet to should
not 1,
j I should call It a pretty fair _
IN NORTHERN PULPITS.
A Hriumtlonnl Preacher In Wnsklnscort
l»cuon lire* the Anarchist and la Botafei*
ouxly Applauded.
A Dispatch from Washington D. 0
says: An unusual Beene occurred at the
Metropolitan M. E. Church, when the
Rev. .John P. Newman, in a sermon on
“Infidelity,” referred in severe terms to
the Atiarfchists. “Could any American
citizen,” he said, “ten years ago have
imagined the circulation of a petition :
to pardon those whoso hands afe ted j
with blood of the. defenders of public;
peace and safety? What is back of this |
anarchy, this dare devil movement on j
tho pait of those villains who ought to
have been hanged long ago?”
At this point many of the audience ]
rose to their feet, clapped their hands
and with loud demonstrations announced
their approval of the minister’s words.
The Rev. Dr. Joseph Parker, of the
City Temple, London, who is to pro
nounce the eulogy on Henry Ward Bec
ffficr ih the Brooklyn Academy of Music j
on Monday night, preached in Plymouth
Church, Brooklyn, in the Pulpit where
his friends had stood for forty years. !
Ills subject was “Not here, but risen.” i
The sermon, which was delivered with - \
out manuscript, was largely a memorial ■
discourse, several sympathetic referen- j
ccs being ninde to the d< ad pastor. Tel- !
egrams were received by Dr. Parker, j
white he was in the pulpit, from his peo
pie in London, sending their good wish- |
cs.
Assaulted by Negroes.
A Dispatch from Dallas Texas, says:;
John Barlow and Miss Julia Walker, a
respectable young couple, who were to
have been married in a lew days, while
walking in the city park at about mid
night were confronted by two negroes |
who robbed Barlow of his money, watch !
and ( bain. One of the negroes then j
stood oyer Barlow with a cocked revol-1
ver, whilj the other dragged Miss Wnl- j.
kefra short distance away and outragi d
l:Cr. The negroes will be lynched if
caught.
Bull vs. Bicycle*
There are many instances on record
where men’s lives have been saved by
speedy horses, but, possibly, the first in
stance in which the treacherous looking
bicycle has figured as u life saver oc
curred at Stanford, Ky-, the past week.
Dr. W. B. Penny, of that place, is a
typical Kentuckian, over six feet tall,
and built in proportion. The Doctor
makes a specialty of pulling teeth, and
uses his wheel—a fifty-six-inch sky
scraper —in making his visits. One even
ing recently he made a call several miles
from town, and was delayed until nearly
dark. He started home, however, after |
lighting his hub lantern. lie had pedaled !
along serenely two or three miles over I
the smooth Stanford pike, thinking of !
supper, when suddenly he heard a com- i
motion in his rear. Glancing back, he 1
w r as startled to see a mad bull, with head !
down and tail erect, charging at him ;
with full speed. The red side lights of \
the lantern had roused the bovine’s ire,
and he had determined to annihilate it. |
There was no time to think. Grasping j
his handles firmly the Hector bent him
self to business, and pedaled as he never j
pedaled before. Faster and faster went j
the light machine, but closer came the j
infuriated bull. Straining every nerve
the Doctor pulled himself up a hill, !
knowing that pneeup he could gain upon ;
his bloodthirsty pursuer, and possibly !
escape. A slipped pedal or a header i
meant death, and he knew it.* But strong
legs and a stout machine gained the vic
tory, and the hill top was reached w'ith
the bull not over thirty feet behind. But
the Doctor knew he could quickly coast
away from his enemy on the deeiivity
before him, and throwing his tired legs j
over the handle bars, he rapidly drew ;
away and left his pursuer. The race was j
only three-quarters of a mile, and did
not last much more than two minutes, j
but it seemed miles and hours 4ong to!
the man on the wheel.— Courier-Journal. ,
Old Shoes “Worked Over.”
One ot the curious industries of New 1
York is the rehabilitation of old shoes,
the cast-off kind gathered from the ash I
heaps and refuge of the streets. A regu- |
lar market for these is found in the cob- j
biers’ basements along Baxter and Mul- j
berry streets—more particularly in tho
region known as “The Bend.” This re- ;
j jeeted stock is worked over by the shoe
i makers, mended and patched so as to be
j water tight, and then-blacked to the
> brilliancy of stove polish. Long rows
j of them may be seen displayed on the
: boards in front of the cobbler shops in
i “The Bend,” glistening in the moouday
! sun with dazzling brightness. A small
! boy, generally one of the scions of the i
' paternal von of Crispin, stands at their
| side in the double character of guardian
! or salesman, though the former duly is
! often discharged by the oscillating vales
inan in charge of the stock of cheap
clothing on the floor above, who halloos
! down the basement to the proprietor
. whenever a would-be customer for the
i shoes stops to make hu investment,
j Prices for this strange merchandise range
| from seventy-five rents up to $1.40 a
I pair. There must lie a market for it, or
|it wouldn’t bo produced. Its existence
j shows how many poor fellows are “down
on their luck” and compelled to buy
I such goods.— Brooklyn Cititen,
In 1880 there were only about 500
| miles of railway in Mexico. Bv the close
I the present year there will be more
than 3,000, with a capital of $120,000,-
! 1)00 invested. Os this amount 2,700
| miles arc ctwned and operated by Ameri-
I tan*. 1 heir lieufit to the country is
j demonstrated by the increase of * tho
I public revenues from $17,800,000 in
i 1.70 to in 1886.
Terms. $1.50 per Amm Single Copy 5 cent.
SOME I\*.Y
Gome day when least you dream of such a
woe,
The air will tremble to the sounds of weep
ing:
And pale and still with white end foldol
hands,
The one you love will silently be sleeping.
And burning tears will rain from your sad
eyes,
Because you failed to value while possess
Ing:
Then wait not for tho bitter day to come,
But cherish while you may tho tender
blessing.
Some day the air will echo to swoofe music
Os drum and bugle call and martial tread,
And with the flag draped o’er his pnlsele«3
Iwsom,
The gallant soldier will be cold and dead ;
Aud all the tributes heaped upon his bosom
Will fail to thrill his heart with joy or
pride.
But lmd he heard in life one-half your praises.
Or felt your fond caress he had not died.
Oh, keep not back the words that might be
spoken ;
While hearts are hungering for the blessed
speech.
Value your treasure, fold it to your bosom
Before it slips forever from jour reach.
The saddest words that sound in all life’s
measure
Are these, wrung from the heart by cruel
fate,
The undertone to every note of pleasure,
“I found my jewel’s value, all too late.’ r
D. M. Jordan.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Complaint of the stage carpenter—all
work aud no play.
To remove mill-due—pay off what ia
due on the mill, of course. — Siftings.
Although the hen is proud of her little
ones, vet does she love to sit on them.—
Park.
The most popular man in the P. O. de
partment- General delivery. Washing
ton Critic.
A man running for office may get out
of breath : but he will be more apt to get
out of money.— Picayune.
When you come to think of it, yenng
man, inn’t the marriage ceremony misv
leading?— Yonkers Statesman.
An exchange publishes “The Song of
the Gas Man.” Os course it is song to
long meter. — Newman Independent.
Send us the dresses a women has worq,
and wc can tell you whether her husband
is in Canada or not. —Omaha World.
When you see a person literally devour
ing a book you may be sure it is filled
with tender-lines. — St. Paul Herald.
Talk is cheap. The man who talks
too much gets so liberal that he gives
himself away.— Haiti mare. American.
It is trucMhat doctors disagree, but
they don’t disagree half so much as their
medicines do.— Burlington Free Pres*.
An up-country town is proud of a
female blacksmith. We presume she be
gan by shooing hens.— Shoe and Leather
Reporter.
Mr. Joues, of St. Paul, has had the
blood of a la nib introduced into his
veins. He is now ripe for Wall street. —
Burlington Free Press.
Coffee and tea it is well known.
Are apt to make tho features brown
And so the girls, I’m pleased to state,
Have got to using chalk-o-late.
— Detroit Free Pre3S.
No wonder they say the A ankees ex
aggerate. Wo know one who complained
to his butcher that the last piece of stc.-tk
sent him was so tough that his mother
could not chew the gravy.— Hotel Ga
zette.
“What I dislike [about the large ho
tels,” said Miss Culture, “is their grega
riousness.” “Well,” responded the Chi
cago maiden, rather bewildered, “those
fancy puddings never did agree with
either.”— Boston Globe.
Prodigal Son—“ Father, after twenty
years of fruitless wandering, I have re
turned to my old home.” “Oh, it’s you,
is it, Bill? Well, there ain't any wood
split for your ma to cook the dinner with.
P’raps you'd better get up an appetite.”
—New Haven News.
A man whose fair features were terribly
marred
By an accident, said: “Little hoed
People gav<? to ine once, but my luck, though
ill-starred.
Now has made me a marked man. indeei.
•—Boston Budget.
Wong Chin Foo, who has the whiskers
of a tiger, whose waist is three miles
round, and whose wit is the forest of
pencils, asks in the North American /fe
rine. “Why am la heathen?” Bacuusc,
oh most wise aud courtly mandarin, thou
wast born a hoy. Hadst thou been born
a girl, ,thou wouldsst have been a she,
then. Send us the chromo. Or hold;
we’ll take an ulster.— Burdette.
A “Fortune” That “Gome True.”
Some years ago Christine Nils* *n,
whose recent marriage, you remember,
had the lines of her hand examined by a
: palmist, who told her sh«* would lmvo
{rouble 'from two causes, fire and man
i lacs. This prediction vtas verified, for
.luring the Chicago fire she lost s3o,*H>o,
»nd when Boston was burned she lo*t
$200,000. When at New York a crazy
man followed her for a week, believing
that the words addressed by Marguerite
to Faust were intended for himself. I a
Chicago a poor student decided to marry
' her. and wrote passionate letters to
! which he received no answer. One day
! he catnc in a superb sleigh, drawn by
four homes, to take his affianced to
the church. 'Hie manager quieted him
by saying, “You are late: .Madame Nil>-
toti has gone there to wait for you.”
The third insane person was her husband,
M. Rouzeaud, who died iu an asylum.—
i Mu* leal lie- -ord.
I The grain elevator capacity of CUicagO
I if 38,850,000 bushel*. ...