THE JOKER’S BUDGET. WHAT THE FUNNY MEW HAVE TO SAY FOB THEMSELVES. The Ring—He Stayed Late —Oh, George—The Best Dance —In the Horse Car—A Violent Interfee ence, Etc., Etc. THE BING. •‘I don’t see whjr you should sneer al tny engagement ring,” said the fair girl, •with a flush of indignation on her cheek, as she faced the belle of the opposition town; “it’s a great deal prettier than the sneyou wore throe years ago, and haven’t Worn since!" “No, dear,” replied her friend, with a tool, far-away look in her voice; "not frettier, but quite as pretty. It is the am. ring.’’— Puck. HIS RECOMMENDATION. Jones —Hello, Bill! I hear you have L position with my friends, Skinner & Co.? Bill—Oh, yes; I have a position as col lector there. Jones —That's first-rate. Who recom mended you ? Bill—Oh, nobody. I told them that I one* collected a bill from you, and they l '-ontly gave me the place.— Judge. ANOTHEK VICTIM. Hall Boy—Did you ring, sir? Uncle Elisha (who blew out his gas fifteen minutes before) —I din’t do nothin' else. I wish t’ you'd look inter th 1 room nex’ ter this, an’ tell th’ duffel that’s smokin' cabbage-leaf cigars to pull on my pipe ’till I git ter sleep. He’s more ’n welcome!— Puck. BLUE. “It is pretty blue up at the house,” said Mr. Twimsy, mournfully. “I’ve got a cold, my wife’s got a cold, baby’s got the measles, and my eldest daughter’s got a piano. Which is the warmest park to sleep in?” HE DID. “Gladys, dear,” he murmured, “I love you madly, devotedly. Will you be mine ?” “Oh, George,” she stammered, “this is so sudden, so unexpected. I—l ■” “Chestnuts 1” he muttered under his breath, but she heard him. “Yes, it is,” she said, “and you many give the bell a ring,” as she held outlier hand. He did. It was a solitaire. THE IOENG MAN STAYED DATE. “Lodemiu. ” called out the clear, cold voice of Mr. Jarvis from the head of the stairway, “has that young man gone yet?" Deep silence in the parlor. “If he has not,” continued the cold, clear voice, “will you have the kindness to remind him that it is our custom tc have family prayers half an hour before breakfast ?” THBOW IT, One day Ernest had been seriously lectured by his mother, and finally sent to the yard to find a Bwiteli with which he was to be punished. He returned soon, and said: “I couldn’t find any switch, mamma; but here’s a stone you can throw at me." — Harper's Magazine. AS THE TWIG IS BENT. “Oo ittle totsy wotsy, I ’pecs oo bettali dit down on the f’o’ an’ ’ct mamma wuk.’’ “Elo’noe, wha’s de use raisin' de baby wid sich baby talke? Does you’ wan' de chile ter talk like dat when he's a grow'd up man? An’ he will ’f you ’dress him in dat fashion. Why doan yo’ say, ‘ls ob de 'pinion yo’ bettah set on the flo’ while yo’ moddah pufoms her duties,’ an’ hab it grow up an’ speak good English while you’s ’bout it V—Harper’, Bazar. THE BADON. Miss Petroleum (sighing, and laying down her book of memories). —Oh, ma, why can’t we keep a salon like Madame Becamier? Mrs. Petroleum.—Why, so we can, dear, for I guess your pa has got the money to run as big a saloon as any of them foreigners; ’ain’t ycr, pa? Mr. Petroleum (growling from behind the big chair). —I dun know. Better ask Jack; he can give yer more points on saloons than I can. A BEASON FOB ADD THINGS. “Why do you fill up your paper with such nonsense?” he suid to the editor: “ ‘John Smith, of Pugville, is in town, calling on his many friends.” Just then the offioe-boy poked his head in the door and said, “Mr. Smith, of Pugville, wants fifty extra papers.” “That’s why,” explained the astute editor.— Harper'> Bazar. HOPELESSLY SPOILED. Mra. Hobson (at a ohurch picnic).— The lemon pie you so kindly coutribut. ed. Miss Smith, I find is spoiled. Miss Smith (in amazement). —Spoiled? Why, my dear Mrs. Dobson, itwasrnudo fresh this morning. Mrs. Hobson.—Yes; but unfortunately young Mr. Sissy sat down on it. A GBEAT DODGE MAN. First St. Paul dame.—Mrs. Crossly, my husband tells me that Mr. Crossly is very popular among the society gentlemeD. Second St. Paul Dame.—Yes, he is. If I do say it, my husband is a great lodge man. •Tndeed.” “Oh, yes, he goes down town to lodge about seven o’clock every night and comes home to lodge about the same time every morning.”—tit. Paul Globe, t Whipping and Cclcr Blindness. That the origin of color blindness liei in the brain, and not in the eye, hai been suggested by Professor Ramsay. While engaged in teaching in Brooklyn some years ago, the principal of a school insisted in treating every case of the sorl as dependent on the will of the pupil. His remedy was tho rod. Thiß certainlj scorned a tyrannical and unwarranted treatment, but the result was favorable to his theory. Is it possible that a thorough examination will ultimately demonstrate that the fault lies very largely in the shiftless methods of ob servation which have grown up under the old classical system of education, and which have to a large extent become hereditary? Professor Ramsay’s sugges tion and his argument deserve careful attention and, if tound correct, we have another and overwhelming reason for the newer education. At first sight, it is not perfectly clear, on the above theory, why it is that color blindness should be more common among men than among women; yet it is possible tlial this will be found to bear out the sug gestion made above, for, with the dis continuance of the wearing of colors by the men, their intciest in colors to a large extent must have ceased; and 11 our old methods of education were to b( continued much longer, it may be that, with the less use of color by women in their dresses, an increase of color blind ness might result among them as well. It is doubtful, however, whether the in troduction of the rod as a quick cor rective will find many advocates.— Science. The Deer Range of the Northwest. The great deer range is in Northern Wisconsin, across Minnesota to Dakota, and covers the country adjacent tc Brush City and Princeton and to the north of Brainerd. There are very few deer on the Red Lake reservation, and very few about Duluth, because the wolves are so numerous in the counties adjacent. The wolves drive the deet out. At the extreme frontier the deei are found in good condition. They breed in the timber and remain there during the summer and are driven out by the wolves in the fall. Between ths Indians and the wolves many deer are wastcfully destroyed. It is necessary to kill the wolves to keep the deer crop, and the bounty is doing some good. But the deer are not getting exterminated. You might as well talk about extermi nating the ducks, cranes, gulls, pelicans and all kinds of water-fowl which breed up in the Peace River country, 1,50( miles northwest of Winnipeg. Thera are about 20,000 saddles of venison han dled here a year. Sometimes this amount is exceeded, as in 1878, when the prairie tires got into the timber and diove the deer into the settlements. One firm here dresses five or six hundred deerskins a a year. The deer fur is of no commer cial value, but the skin is made into moccasins and into the buckskin of the Chores. —Pioneer Pros. Oriental and Occidental. First Chinaman (in native lingo)— “Glorious reception, that given by the Chinese Minister at Washington.” Second Chinaman —“Great man, son of the sun, to spend money so lavishly and hospitably.” At Another Corner. First American—“l hear Senator De Gpod had a grand party last night in his new mansion at Washington.” Second American—“Eh? I wonder where he stole hts money.” —Omaha World. NERVES! NERVES!! What terrible visions this little word brings before the eves of ths nervous. Headache, Neuralgia, Indigestioa, Sleeplessness, Nervous Prostration, All stare them in the faoe. Yet all these nervous troubles oaa be by using (*{>> Nasal I’assagcs.M ‘"hr.! pi Allays fain I :■ II a m illation Urals tho Soros.»F . EM It os t a ro s t Pj- 1 ’ Soiisos of 'Tastoß^S^ and Smell. TBY to CDREhS'-feVeR A particle appllfd Intnoarh no*trH and la aaroeable. Price rdicenut at drugglatn, by iiiall,r»-latere«l.*iii oenw ELY HHOTIIF.H. Ht., Hew York. To dream of a ponderous whale, Erect on the tip of his tail, Is the sign of a storm (If the weather is warm). Unless it should happen to fail. Dreams don’t amount to much, anyhow. Some signs, however, are tnfalliable. If you are constipated, with no appetite, tortued with sick headache and billious symptoms, these Bigns iudicate that you need Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Purgative Pellets. They wilt cure you. All druggists. The total number of overland passen gers to California last year was 15,0000. When all so called remedies fail, Dr. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy cures. The volcano appears to be nothing but an instance of absurd exaggeration oi the principle of the pimple. Hloo ICI Yarns, Rags, etc, J cents. A Child can use them! The PUREST, STRONGEST and FASTEST of all Dyes. Warranted to Dye the most goods, and Eive the best colors. Unequalled for Feathers, Rib uns, and all Fancy Dyeing. 33 leading colors. They also make the Best and Cheapest WRITING INK \ ONE QUART LAUNDRY BLUE/ IO Cents. Directions for Coloring Photographs and a colored Cabinet Photo, as sample, sent for 10 cents. Ask druggist for liook and Sample Card, or writ* WELLS, RICHARDSON & CO.. Burlington,Vt. For Gilding or Bronzing Fancy Articles, USB DIAMOND PAINTS. Gold, Silver, Bronze. Copper. Only IO Cents* fiIQA A MONTH Agents rramsa. m beet eel)* A# b i l| I tnar articles).-! the world. 1 earaple Fret. ffeWAddreii JA Y BHOESON. IHlruit. Mirh. HERBMND FIFTH WHEEL “MB lmpre»tm*nt. II Fit Hit AND UP.. rmmontTT) TA keep FRESH MEAT or FISH ln|/Ppß I Summer, or In a Hot Climate; w ■ most valuable and saving In every household. This method le simple, at a trifling cost: guaranteed to keep the meat free from decay am! fly blows f*»r months, or MONEY refunded. For Its own or family use only, mailed for 25 rente. Send at oner, as this might not appear again. Address Fresh Box'!*). Bellevue." Idaho MG3t f B ( 3' W.L. DOUGLAS $3 SHOE. GENTLEMEN. Tha only fine calf ftS Benmleae Shoe In tha world made without taeka ar nalla. Aa stylish and da rahle aa thoae ousting ft& or ¥>, and having no 0- nalla to wear the •‘looking or hurt tn« feet, SSK. iKr. M i.imfort.bl. soil well flltln. » . han■#*» perfectlyßeytere the 1 I by cold*, 7 rram or lojoAea telWi , w £3S£Ssr B I Broadway, M 0» St., Nro Twk, fw book iwwoi., reu. 0k #»’ f ftH a day. Samples worth 91 -50. VIII XEft tines not under the horse’s feet. W rite IPV Brewster Safety Rein Holder Co., Holly, Mict PICI nir LlIaJ uru . dipping dail 7 to all ■ ■■■ ■■■■%# parts of the United i-tates. AII&IA Fire Ansi and Sporting I.IIIU V Goods at LEflft Than MA V- Ulllld l FA CTrREEH' PIC ICES. UVIIV Write f«»r CATALOGUE. Jenney & Graham 6un Co.,‘c,mcaoo: I IfYE j | Fora case of Catarrh in ihe Head which they cannot cure. | I Copyright, 1887. ] CATARRH IN THE HEAD. SYMPTOMS OF THE heavy headache, obet ruction of the naaul pitHsagcfl. discharges falling from the bead Into tho throat, sometimes profuse, watery, and acrid, at othere, thick, tenacious, mucous, purulent, bloody and putrid; tho eyes are weak; there is ringing in the cars, deafness, hacking or coughing to dear tho throat, expectoration of offensive mut ter, together with seabs from ulcers; the* voice is changed and has a‘ f nusal twang”; the breath is offensive: smell and tasto Impaired; there is ft sensation of dizziness, with me ntal depres sion, a hacking cough and general debility. Only a few of tho above-named symptoms are likely to bo present in any one case. Thousands of cuses annually, without manifesting half of tho above symptoms, result in consumption, and end in the grave. No disease is so common, more deceptive and dangerous, less understood, or more unsuccessfully treated by physicians. n o . M yo» would remove on evil, strike at its liONMQ'A NFNSF rant. As the predispcssir.ar or real cause* of UUHimusi wknub eatarrh is, in the majority of cases, some IRFATHFUT weakness, impurity, or otherwise faulty incmmuil. condition of the system, in attempting to ■■*■■■■■■■■■■■■■ cure tho discaso our chief aim must bo directed to the removal of that cause. The more wo see of this odious disease, and wo treat successfully thousands of coses an nually at tho Invalids’ Hotel and Surgical Institute, the more do we realize the importance of combining with the use of a local, soothing and healing application, a thorough and persistent inter nal use of biood-clcansing and tonic medicines. n In curing catarrh and all tho various diseases with lIHIEF which it is so frequently complicated, as throat, whim bronchial, and lung diseases, weak stomach, ca- Dri jiunr tarrhal deafness, weak or inflamed eyes, impure iILLIfinUL, blood, scrofulous and syphilitic taints, the wonder ful powers and virtues of Dr. Pierce’s Golden Med ical Discovery cannot be too strongly extolled. It lias a specific \2 U T * 1 F liver pills. V PVHXa-T VEGETABLE! PERFECTLY HARMLESS I V ! Aft A LIVER PILL, they «ro Fneqiialed! ' OMJh.IAL.EBT, CHEAPIIBT, EASIEST TO TAKB. itnewarw of Imltatlona, which contain Poisonous Minerah. Always ask for Ww/' Dr. Pierce’s PcUeta which are IttUeHugar-coftted Pills, \\ / f y f or Anti-bilious Granules. ONE PELLET A DOSE. Sold by Druggists. ■ SICK HEADACHE, P* /i A 25 Cents a Vial. IBtllona Headache, Dlrztneoo, fsiMtlptllon, kw m. / IN ■ - milouft Attneko, and all derange- K W HdP menu of the stomach and bowels, are promptly re- Ajk »E»*Q PfRELY TF.GGTABI.B, Dr. Plorce’i Pellet* opernto wlthont illMurbenre to S”" 1 ►» » J»rt*»r “f dl.'eere. Ittney the .yMrin, flirt, or occupation. Put up In alue truthfully t„ that their action upon tho sjatem la universal, not • vials, hermetically ifsalcft. Alwiva fri.h anr not now care. Send At once t.r « u vii isesnd a Free BoUmf of inj infallible ren.edy. Cr. ■> Ktpress and Post Offlsa. IL Qm IfcaJOT* Al. <... t s:t l'« ax« «*- Naw Vsrt