Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / April 6, 1966, edition 1 / Page 3
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UNA JOU IRNAL Wednesday, April 6, 1966 Pane 3 The Hot Line Changes m New Case Sought For For Ratman Vacation By ELUSON CLARY, JR. A petition is circulating asking Election Today Will Qimax Long Campaign Last week we read about Ratman getting a call on the Ratphone from Chief Herd of the Queen City explaining that the Pilferer, arch enemy of humanity and motherhood and fatherhood and even foster-parenthood, is believed to be behind the festering crime wave there. We read how he is suspected of kidnapping the missing Commissioner Waldron. Later on, we read about the Ratmobile being stolen light under the noses of Ratman and Rodent. And, of course, those of us who stuck it out to the end read about a lot of other silly nonsense. “Holy hitchhikers! We’re up Sugar Creek without a Ratmobiie. What are we going to do. Ratman?” ‘'Don’t worry. Rodent,” replies Ratman. “We’ll hail a cab.” Ratman calls down a taxi and, as the Pitiful Pair get in, Ratman nudges Rodent and says, “Don’t let the driver know who we are. We don’t have time to sign autographs.” Just then, the driver says, “Hi Ratman! Hi Rodent! Where to?’ “Follow that Ratmobile,” orders Ratman. Rodent punches Ratman and whispers, “Jumping ^guises, Ratman. How did he know who we are? Do you think it’s because of the way we’re dressed?” “No Rodent,” Ratman replies. “I imagine he picks up three or four people a day who wear mouseketeer ears and longjohns with block “Rs” on the seat flap. He probably guessed us by our speech mannerisms. You’re a dead giveaway with your banal interjections, you know. I wish you’d learn not to use those sick expressions or keep your stinking trap shut!” Rodent is stunned and hurt but soon finds words to express himself. “Holy irritations, Ratman. Leapin’ triteness, I didn’t know it bothered you. Jumpin’ apologies. I promise not to use those interjections anymore. Holy inanities. I’m sorry!” ’The driver interrupts to say, “Hey Ratman and Rodent, the Ratmobile is stopping in that driveway up ahead.” “Great work, driver. Who lives there?” asks Ratman. “Clark Kent, alias Superman,” comes the reply. “Aha,” exclaims Ratman. “Ingenius of the Pilferer to disguise hinmelf as Superman. I’m going to rush in mid surprise him while you stand in the front yard in case he tries to run away, Rodent. Driver, you pull off so he won’t suspect the cab company is after him.” Ratman streaks away but suddenly halts in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, he yells, “What’s that? Oh pay the man, will you Rodent? I left my Ratwallet with all my Ratmoney in my other Ratsuit.” Ratman turns, races to the house, and crashes through the front door. He meets his foe and a hair-raising fight ensues. SOK WHAP CAMP ZAP WHAM CAMP KAPOWIE BIFF KABAM CAMP KAWHAP KAFLOOIE CAMP, etc. Ratman staggers out the door. His ratface is a glob of ratblood. His ratsuit is battered and torn and his ratflap hangs open, blowing in the wind. “Holy mutilization, Ratman,” exclaims Rodent. “What hap pened?” “He really is Clark Kent and he’s the one who’s behind the crime wave. He says he’s not going to return Commissioner Waldron until the dr^t board promises to change his draft status from lA back to lY since he’s a conscientious objector. He’s very conscientious about objecting.” “Holy Muhammad Ali, Ratman. What are we going to do now?” Wonders Rodent. “What can we do when Superman goes bad? I'm going back to stately Mouse Manor and train for another fight. A rematch clause was in our contract all along and Superman has no choice but to honor it. I think I cmi heat him next time. Ali I need is a different attitude,” says Ratman. As Ratman and Rodent drive slowly back home. Superman holds a news conference. “Like I said,” says Superman, “I’ll give you back the Commissioner if I don’t have to join the army. I beat Ratman and I beat him bad. I’m the champ. I am the greatest, the prettiest, and the strongest. For my next fight, I want to take on the Phantom, Tom Terrific, and Wonder Mother all at the same time. Ooh, I’m so pretty...” As Ratman said, “What cana we do when Superman goes bad?” that the administration recon sider the scheduled dates for the Easter vacation. The petition points out the fact that UNC-CH students receive a week for a combined spring- Easter vacation while UNC-C students get only a five-day weekend. It also points out the fact that for accreditation an irstitution must hold 15 weeks of classes, while UNC-C holds classes for 16 weeks. The petition reads: “We, the undersigned, peti tion the administration to re consider the dates scheduled for Blaster vacation. Whereas, the Southern .^sociation re quires only 15 weeks of class meetings for accreditation and whereas the present UNC-C calendar schedules 16 weeks of class meetings and whereas our sister institutiMis, UNC-CH in particular, schedule only 15 weeks of classes and whereas a need for a longer vacation is evident because of student and faculty fatigue. We do hereby submit our names in good faith and as evidence of our con cern.” A copy of the petition has been placed at the Union information desk. Continued From Page 1 the University Party’s candidate for the position. The Student Party candidate, Sam Scott, expressed his view that “only an experienced VP can successfully chair a sophis ticated Student Legislature. Unquestionably, I am experi enced in that direction. I have introduced 40 per cent of all of the proposed S.L. bills. Never have I forgotten the students whom I represented, and never shall I forget,” he said. Willma Happy will bear the Student Party’s endorsement for the position of Secretary of the Student Body. Miss Happy is a rising junior and sees the main qualification tor the office as being experience. “I feel that this experience (recording sec retary for the Student Legislature this year and recording secretary of the Young Republicans Club for the past two years) alone qualifies me tor the position of Secretary of the Student Body. But I have also worked closely with the pre.s"^nt Secretary, and am well aware of the duties which I would be expected to per form.” Martha Caton, who is running as an independent, is also a candidate for Secretary. The Journal was unable to reach Miss Caton for a statement before our deadline. As of the Journal’s press deadline only one candidate had filed for the position of Treasu rer. Miss Sue Garrett is seeking that position on the Student Party ticket. “In seeking the office of treasurer,” she said, “I offer you (the student body) experi ence in both legislative proce dure and budget planning.” Stokely For V. P. To whom it may concern; It has been my extreme pleasure to be associated with Mr. Stokely during the past year. He has proven to be a highly reliable and competent man in his )ob. He is an excellent speaker and presents an outstand ing appearance. Mr. Stokely is cheerful ot all times and works in complete harmony with others. His dress is always immaculate. In his job as a leading Quartermaster he has displayed excellent qualities of leadership and is always eager to accept greater responsibilities. Mr. Stokely comes to you with the highest recom mendation. H. E. JACKSON LCDR U.S. Navy ■'1 3 BROS. TAVERN I I Dancing Nightfy } I RESERVATIONS: 596-9985 | Q-fnhti hos two (2) locations to better serve your Q^JLCI^jCI llUlll/t need*. 150O Central Ave. and 3732 Coliseum Center. We feature Canse.rvative, Traditional, and Continental clothing fashions. Tra- ditional fashions ore feotured throughout the two stores. We solicit your patronoge. The Management Miss Garrett has been a repre sentative to the Student Legisla ture for the past year and is past national secretary’ of the Luther League of America. Frank Jones is seeking the chairmanship of the Union unop posed and Nelson Lemmond is unopposed for vice chairman. Neither candidate was available for their comments. The only candidate for the position of Carolina Journal Edi tor is Ellison Clary. Clary stated that he considered “it an honor that I should be a candidate for the editorship ot the Carolina Journal. The position of editor Is a challenging one. If elected I intend to do my utmost to meet the challenge. Of course I will draw on my three years of experienc/3 with the Carolina Journal to do so.” PARK DRIVE-IN 1 Vi Miles Behind UNC-C On Route 29 Featuring The Herlock Burger “A Meal On A Bun” Only- 49c (Visit the finest driv ing range in Charlotte, it's lighted so yoir con play at night. Right next door to Park Drive-In on ■ Highway 49.) C [ T Y CHEVROLET CO. QUALITY SALES & SERVICE 710 S. Tryon
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April 6, 1966, edition 1
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