Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / April 24, 1968, edition 1 / Page 7
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f m % di 5-Year Man | on Campus | With Ellison Clary ij| Attention You Healthy Chickens: Try This You say you’re just too dang healthy? Never been sick a day in your life? is when you visited a fnend who fractured his entire body bouncing off your semi- muscular gut m a sandlot football game'’ a rash?^°“ ■"sssage yourself ivith poison ivy and still not contract ^ You don’t even weet the bed, even when you sort of halfway try dr^ft'ptvsiw??*^ ^ chicken? You don’t want to pass the Is that what’s bother in you, Bunkie? VVell don’t desjair, start chumming around with effeminate httle fellows, or undergo a sex-change operation. On the contrary simply be a tad imaginative and dream up a ruse similar to the one recounted to me recently It’s too late for me to take advantage of it since I’ve passed not one, but two selective service physicals. Unselfishly, however, I deliVer it to all male readers enduring a health problem (too much of it of course;. ’ TOis fellow up north, employ!^ Yankee ingenuity no doubt, perfected an infallible act at avoiding being found phvsicallv fit to serve in the militai^. After a year’s dilfeent practfce, he mas- Kom“vi:ior‘“" First: Be Prepared Came the day for his physical and he was prepared. He stag gered through a glass door without opening it and into the examining station sporting Ray Charles sunglasses and following a gigantic collie. He purposely strode smack into the first enlisted man in his path and asked, “Pardon me, but may I keep my seeing eye dog with me in the building?’’ They were considering letting the dog stay inside until a major found out he wasn’t housebroken. The hard way. The Army should get hip to corfam shoes. Next, our witty draft dodger embraced the sergeant in charge and exclaimed, “Oh Mama, it was sweet of you to come but I told you before you’d only embarrass me here.’’ The sergeant quite convincingly explained to him that he was not his mother, then loudly advised him to find a seat in the waiting room with the rest of the men. To this our boy squinted around the confines murmuring, “What seat? What men? What room?’’ Presently, the men were ordered to proceed to a room used for administering mental tests and filling out personal and medical histories. On the way, the great pretender clutched tightly the shoulders of the fellow in front of him in order to “see where I’m going.’’ He seated himself backwards in his desk, placed his papers upside down, and took his mental test with aid from a huge mag nifying glass. On his personal history sheet he listed his occupa tion as “street corner pencil vendor.’’ Down To Shorts & Cane Then came the mass physical exam. He stripped down to his shorts and red-tipped walking cane and tapped his way to his ul timate trial, the vision test. First he was given the color blindness quiz. “All I can make out is black,’’ he explained. Next he was instructed to look into the sight testing device. He passed it by to peer through the keyhold of a door to the outside. Not paying attention, the test administrator ordered, “Tell me what you see.’’ “I see a civilian stealing a man’s suit from a U. S. Army vehicle,” he responded. After checking on his car, the administrator directed him to the machine and asked him which line he could read. His predictable response was, “I don’t see any lines.” After several hours of trying various corrective lenses (the Army doesn’t give up easily) the faker convinced the military he was blind as a bat. They dismissed him. Just to be sure he was safe, he exited through a door marked “incinerator.” Needless to say, our boy was ecstatic at having fooled Uncle Sam. To celebrate, he decided to take in a movie at the cinema house across the street from the examining station “What Did You Do In The War, Daddy” was playing, and to him the comedy was doubly funny. He enjoyed the flick for about an hour before he glanced directly behind him to see the vision test administrator scowling at him. What could he do now? A whole year’s practice had paid dividends but now he was on the verge of blowing it all. But he kept his cool and suddenly got a brilliant idea. Turning again to his tormentor, he asked, “Hey buddy, is this the bus to Baltimore'?” Students Place Book Student Body University of North Carolina at Charlotte Post Office Box 12665 Charlotte, North Carolina 28205 2]^ Dear Students: —. I wish to thank you for the * money which you donated to pur- ^ Chase a book in memory of Buddy JTnan. With this gift we are pur chasing “The Larousse Encyclo pedia of Animal Life (McGraw- Hill, 1967). This reference book will serve many generations of students and wiU be a lasting memorial. A gift plate bearing his name and also the name of the student body will be placed in this book. Chancellor Colvard is notifying the Hyman family of this very fine gesture. Sincerely yours, Joseph F. Boykin, Jr. Acting Librarian The Carolina Journal, Wednesday, April 24, 1968 PAGE 7 Letters To The Editor Annual Staff Trusted In Student Legislature's ‘Dependable^ Work Dear Editor: April 10 marks a significant day tor the staff of the Rt^es ’n Rascals. Finally, following four weeks of awaiting pledged help from the student legislature and the senior class, the classes sec tion tor this year’s publication has been sent in. Having retorted to the senior class drive to freeze our funds, in believing in the Publication Board’s policy of non-interference in editorial decisions, we finally were forced to submit to their wishes. Trusting that the student legislature was a reliable body; and trusting that combined with the aid of interested members of the senior class the classes section would be finished within one week of the date of the biU to “freeze funds,” we agreed to the terms composed by a legislative com mittee. However, we evidently trusted in a very untrustworthy body. For, not even a handful of help arrived for the first week of work, and thereafter there was some drop- in aid and 15 minute workers who didn’t even stay long enough to learn the procedures. At this point, it must be ex plained what sort of agreement was made between the staff and the legislature. It was agreed in the legislature meeting of March 11 that the classes section would be re-edited by non-annual staff personnel. Why? Because it was decided that tte staff members had already spent their time on this section once, and should not have to do it again; and, because the staff needed to spend more time on material other than class sections for future deadlines. The compromise admittedly, seemed fair at the time. However, this compromise also concluded that the section could be completed Borden Says Lack Of Help Causes Mistakes TO THE EDITOR: I was somewhat disturbed this morning to read of the public dissatisfaction with our Bookstore as expressed by Miss Mary Ar- nette, not because of any guilt feelings for having “done” some one in, but because of the impli cations this incident may lead other students to accept as being factual. During the Fall Semester, we handled over 27,000 books with only part-time student help. In the Spring Semester we handled over 23,000 books, again with stu dent help only. Under such condi tions it is inevitable that mistakes will be made. To prevent the stu dent from being penalized for Bookstore mistakes, we es tablished a procedure several years back which would allow the student to obtain a refund from the Bookstore. We have dissemina ted this policy by printing it in a letter on every Booklist in the store. Since it is deemed highly improbable that a student would purchase his entire semester’s supply of books without referring to a Booklist, we thought this was the best way of notifying students of our policy. (Note: I have en closed a letter from our Spring Semester Booklist so that you on the newspaper staff may tet the veracity of my statement.) I quote from a portion of that policy: “IMPORTANT NOTICE: Until you are absolutely certain the books you haO bought are the correct onee, and that you are not going to drop the course DO NOT MAKE ANY MARKS OF ANY KIND IN YOUR BOOKS! If you do so, they are automatically Used Books and WILL NOT be accepted for refund. If you expect to return any book, KEEP YOUR CASH RE GISTER RECEIPT and present it with the book to the manager tor refund. That receipt is your only proof that items were purchased in the University Bookstore, and the store reserves the right to refuse to make refunds on any items not accompanied by the Cash Register Receipt.” The reason for this is the abun dance of college Bookstores in the local area — Davidson, Queens, Kings, Central Piedmont, Belmont Abbey, Johnson C. Smith, and Gas ton College—which in many cases use the same books as we do. It is not an uncommon practice for people to pilfer a book from one store and then try to obtain a “refund” for it at one of the other stores using that book. By having the student keep his cash register receipt, we are assured that we are refunding only on our own books. Often, too, the purpose of re funding is misunderstood. It is not for buying back from the stu dent any book tor which he no longer has a need. It is to allow students to return UNUSED, UN MARKED books tor courses from which he or she has dropped (vol untarily or involuntarily) when the University has cancelled the course, or some other legitimate reason. The fact that a student buys a book new and later finds that he can buy or borrow a used book from another student is not con sidered one of these reasons. As to Miss Arnette’s request that we separate used and new texts, I must state that such an arrangement would require far more space than we envision having even a decade from now. Used and New texts are priced at different times and in an entirely different manner, and are readily discer nible from each other. Where errors are made, we shall be pleased to rectify them to the best of our ability, but in cases where it is questionable wherein lies the fault, the Bookstore must reserve the right to make final judgment. within one week. One week passed, and the Rogues ’n Rascals office hosted at most four constant wor kers—one of which came from the senior class and one other which came from the student legisla ture. Somehow, this did not seem to fulfill the pledges of the legis lature. Following this first week, these four constant workers ceas^, and from then until April 10 we never received consistent help again. Personal pleas for help were made by the editor; an additional re quest was made to the legislature and to Dean McKay. Nevertheless, we received only sporadic help from those who so mightily pushed for the freezing of our funds. Pro cedures of re-alphabetizing, re labelling and re-typing had to be explained by the editor—by the time this was done, the “help” ha to leave. As a result of this “dependable” service from the legislature tlie classes section was sent in to our publisher, tour and one-half weeks overdue. How generous of the student legislature to pay $32.00 fine and to clip tlie bill for extra pages that had to be lain out anew—by the editor. As a result of this “dependable” service from the legislature, we must inform the students at large that the book will be delayed in final publication by as much as one month. This means that you wiU receive your yearbooks in October rather than at the opening of school as originally anticipated. As a result of this “dependable” service from the legislature, we resorted to asking the aid of a nurse. Yes, Mrs.Stroud, the school nurse had to proof-read and cor rect the entire classes section - a chore of about three tedious hours. We have been disgusted by the weak, fickle, unreliability of the student legislature. We were patient until the very last minute on April 10, yet disappointed and extremely concerned all along by the inability of the legislature to enforce its decisions. Indeed, we were dismayed in the first place by its ability to blindly make such a decision. Ilence, we implore the newly elected members of the student legislature to strive for effectiveness and for rationality. It will be a comforting change. M. P. Borden, Jr. Manager UNC-C Bookstore Candy Kimbrell, 1968 Editor Phil Wilson, Managing Editor Cindy Trexler, 1969 ICditor
University of North Carolina at Charlotte Student Newspaper
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April 24, 1968, edition 1
7
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