North Carolina Newspapers

n m H L Hi, in, I jii i , , ...I,, M. - - . . I II . I - I I III . . r I ANTHONY & GROSS, Editors and. Publishers. TERMS: $1.25 Per Year In Advance. VOLUME I. CONCORD, N: C FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24, 1888. NUMB Kit T. The Lire Pilgrim. rhore is no life, however smooth its outward current flows, But beurs upon its heavenward way some sorrow as it goes. i;ut sorrow shall be lost at last in Ood as in the sea. Life pilgrim, is it not enough to know this thing shall be! Our lips were made for victors' song?, our brows to wear the crown ; "Why stand yo then, O sons of God, with heavy hearts bowed down? However fierce tho tempest be, your hopes may yet be warm. The lightning flash of God's great power cau pierce the darkest storm. Then forward! lot the midnight ring as grandly as the dawn, With" songs that tell of earnest souls that march in courage on ; The bitter conflicts of the world shall find in death a goal Spurred by the eagle pinions of the glad and conquering soul." lEarnest W. Shurtlcft. A Station Agent's Stories. "I was," said the man with tho wooden leg, "station agent on tho B. and R. railroad for a good many years, and several things occurred there which were tho talk of the line and which you may find interesting enough to publish. My station was both insignificant and important. "While it was only a hamlet in population, it was a railroad crossing. While every train seemed to bo in a hurry to get away as fast as possible, all engines had to tako water or coal, and various trains had to pull in ou the long siding to let various other trains jass. "Tho policy of our road was nig gardly. The object was to get every thing cheap, and to work every man to the limit. My station building was little better than a shed, and it was im possible to get any repairs or improve ments. I was required to act as tele graph operator, ticket seller, freight agent, chore boy, and all else, and did not have an hour I could call my own. I had a cot ia the office, and was on call during the night. Let 'cm sound my cell while I was in the deepest sleep and iabido of twenty seconds I was ready to answer. I should have had a first-class assistant at my station, but the com pany would not permit it I must cither do the work alone or get cut for some one who could and would, and so I kept hanging on month after month and year after year, always thinking about going, but never making up my mind to it. Tha situation was grave enough to keep my nerves under con stant strain. Train despatching was not tho art it is now, and if a regular got behind her time it caused confusion all along the line. "One of the queer incidents occurred after I had had tho station about two years. It was in tho fall of the year, with a great deal of nasty weather, and trains were continually late. The last passenger train on our road passed me, according to schedule, at 10 1-2 . p. m. The next one passed at 7.20 a. m., and it was supposed that tho intervening time belonged to me. If the night freight was on time, and if I did not gtt a call on tha instrument, and if there was no special on the line, and if a dozen oth,cr things did not occur, I could sleep from 11 to 6. It may have ecu; red that my sleep was unbroken five nights in a year. On all other nights I was turned out from one to three or four times. The night freight should reach mo at 12:05 five minutes after midnight She never left nor took up a car at my station, leaving that for the day freight, but made a stop of seven or eight minutes for coal and water. If there was a special on the line, or if there had been an accident,- the freight might have to side track and wait, but such a thing was rare. "As a rule, I was always asleep when tho freight came in, but somehow or other I know of her arrival. I knew of it without waking up, and next morn ias could have told whether she was late or on time Twenty -eight minutes after her time a passenger train on tho other road made the crossing; this crossing was eighty rods abovo the sta tion, and while I had nothingto do with the trains on the other road, I natural ly kept track of them adknew whether they were late or on time. On this partic ular night I went to bed at 10.45, and was asleep before 11 o'clock. At 12.20 I suddenly awoke. The night freight had not come in. I had been sound asleep, but I knew sho had not. She was fifteen minute3 overdue, and yet my call had not been sounded. This to me meant some sort of accident between ine and the next station north, which was eleven miles away. I at once called for the station, but tha operator had gone. I ran to tho door and looked out. Thero was a fine rain and a dense fog. 'Freight trains are seldom on schedule time, and I had known those on our line to be nn hour late without worrying over the fact. However, on this night I was all worry. The rain and the fog, the crossing, tho fact of my waking up as I had, the failure to raise tho agent at the station above, these things made mo terribly uneasy, and at 12.25 I lighted my lantern, put on nry rubber coat, and started up the line on a run. I had not gone forty rods when I heard a hissing of steam, and two or threo minutes later I could see tho glare of a headlight through the fog. In a couple of minutes more I found our midnight freight twenty-two loaded cars and a big locomotive and "she was standing directly on tho crossing of the roads. I shouted as soon as I had made out the locomotive, but no one answered mo. I pushed along to tho cab, climbed up, and found the engineer and fireman on the floor of the tender, arms around each other, and fast asleep or dead. At that same moment tha passenger train on the other road whistled for the crossing. "I am telling you, sir, that I lived a year f oi every minute in tho next five or six. I knew very little about an engine, though I had seen how they were re versed and how the throttle was worked. If anything was done I must do it, and do it quickly. Why I did not pull ahead I do not know. It struck me that I must back up, and I flung over tho bar, gave her steam, and sho began to move. The steam had rundown, and we moved at a snail's p..cf, and even when I pulled her wide open, the engine scarcely had power to back the heavy train. "We did move, however, although it was foot by foot I could hear the roar of the passenger train, and I knew that every second was hastening a terrible calamity, but I did not leave tho engine. Back! backl back! we crawled, and of a sud den a great light flashed in my eyes, thero was a crash, and I saw cars mov ing in front of rac and disappearing into the darkness. What had happened? "Well, I had backed the freight until tho locomotive of tho passenger train only carried away the pilot as it crossed our line. That was all the damage done, and no passenger had a suspicion of h'n narrow escape from m awful smash-up. "When the train had disappeared and I could realize the situation, I began to investigate. I ran back to tho caboose but no ono was to be found. I shouted nnd screamed, but soon found that I was all alone. Than, climbing back into the cab, I sought to arouse the en gineer and his fireman Dead? No. Drunk as two Lordi! Yes, sir. They were drinking, men, though tho com pany did not know it. They had been taken off another run two weeks before, and coming down the lino on this trip had brought a bottle with thcin. At the station above they had reached tho Unlit, and in their drunken deviltry ha 1 suddenly pulled out and left all the train crew behind.- Tho conductor could not readily find the station agent, and when he did rout him out and get . him to the office I was out of mine and did not answer his call. The two men had let tho steam go down, and the train had crawled down to tho cros.cing and been stopped where I found it. Tho men were by that timo too drunk to stand up, and had grabbed each other and rolled on tho floor to sleep. I was yet in the cab, trying to kick some sense into them, when tho conductor and his two brakemen arrived on a hand car, and after getting up steam we got the train over tho crossing to the station. The two drunkards ought to havo been sent to state prison, but for fear of the story getting into tho papers they were allowed to skip. "It wa3 with this same night freight I had a startling adventure the next summer. I had gone to bed and to sleep before it came in. It was exactly 11.50, as shown by the clock, when I got a call on the instrument, and as I sprang out of bed I h.-ard the operator at K , a station eighteen miles be low me, clicking off, 'For God's sake stop and side track No. 9! There's a runaway engine coming up the line!' I got this by car, you understand, and I crave him an 'O. K.' as soon as ho was done. Ia three minutes I was out doors and had my "Danger Stop!' signal set for the first time in month, and as I started down the track with my lantern I could hear the rumble of No. 9 as sLa crossed the bridge three miles above. She was on timo and booming right along, but it was clear and tho red light would stop her. "I should have told you that thero were two tracks in front of the station. One was tho main track, of course, and tho other a long siding, with a switch at either end. No. 9 had the right of way at night, and, instead of side-tracking her, I proposed to switch off tho runaway. I went down over the tics as hard as I could run, and just as I reached the switch I heard No. 9 blow for my station. While I was un locking the switch, the engineer called for brakes, and then I knew ho had seen the light and would stop. I pulled the bar over, and then picked up my lantern and ran back, reaching the sta tion just as the heavy freight was coming to a standstill. . My purpose was to run down and open the other switch," and thus let tho runaway out on the main track again, to run until her steam went down, but I had scarcely moved a hundred feet when I heard her coming It was then too late, and I stood on tho platform to see her go past. She was truly a runaway. Sho had broken away from tho accommodation train, which came no further up than G , and was coming up with a full head of steam and everything roaring. Thert was gros3 carelessness in bringing about this accident, but it was covered up and kept out of print . We could hear tho runaway a mile off, and wo could locato her as she came through the .woods by the shower of sparks flying from her smokestack. . On she came, and as she struck the switch it seemed as if sho must go over. Thero was a clickcty clash and a bang, and she righted and whizzad past us like a fiery arrow "We know what would happen at the other end of the siding. There was a field beyond, and when tho runaway left tho rails sho tore up a hundred feet of track, mado splinters of a scoro of ties, and plouthid her way into tho field for a quarter of a milo and blew up. Had she encountered No. 9 on the main track thero must havo been a ter rible smash-up. At -tho speed she was going the runaway would havo climbed right on top of tho train. Af ter tho explosion I entered tha station and called for K , to givo him the news, but he cou'l not ba raised. I could not set him until the usual hour next morning, and then I learned some thing which made my hair staid on end. lie had not heard a word of tho matter. Ho was not in his office whan tho ac commodation passed, and he had heard nothing from G , tho station where tho cngino broke away. I then called for the agent at G , and it turned out that at 5 o'clock on tha afternoon pre vious, ho had met with an accident by which he had been mado delirious all night. When they went for him to telegraph about the cngino ho wns i:i bed, and being held thero by nuiscs, and they did not even try to make him understand what had happened. As a matter of fact and record, no living hand clicked that message to me. Every man on the line was examined, but all denied it heard it and understood it, and acted upon it, and it came from K . How do I explain it? I never could. I have had people tell me that it was mind tele graphing to mind, but you can take any tltfory you wish. I wai called for in tho u ftal way, understood fully what was Icing said, and hurried out to do what I havo described. Tho matter has been a puzzle and a mystery for years, and I havo no hopes of a solution. "How did I lose my log? Well, there was a mystery about that. Wo iiaci cnaugeu our time ana a passenger train passed my station at 2 a. m. awoke ona night at 1 o'clock, feeling that the upper switch had been left open by the freight train. I lighted my lantern and ran up thero, and sure enough it stood w.Tde open, and a death trap had bccasct for tho express. I closed it, and was on my way back whan three cars which had broken away from the freight several mijos away, at tho top of a grade, cama whooping down, and, in trying to get out of tha way, made a stumblo and got my leg under the wheels. I dragged myself into the station and tried to call up tho offices above me, but could raise no one. Tha car3 were missed, and hunted for from one end of the lline to tho othor, and, strangely enough, they could not bo found. It was an odd thing to lose cars in that fashion, and before they got through searching men walked over every foot of the line. It was six weeks before they wero found. They had left the rails at a curve near a steep bank, and had gone over tho rocks into a deep river without leaving a trace. It was as if they had been picked up and flung over by humoji hands. Eein loaded with hardware, they had gone to the bottom, but tho current rolled them along until they finally showed abovo tho surface ia a bend. When hauled out none of tho three were dlamaged a cent's worth, but it was a deal of trouble to get them back to tho rails again. New York Sud. A Parrot That Prays. A family living near a church owns very bright parrot. Every evening tho bells of the church ring the "Angelus," and recently one of the little girls of the family was taught to recite tho ap propriate prayer at tho sound of tho bells. The parrot watched her care fully, and the other evening, at the first sound of the chimes, dropped to tho bottom of the cage, put down his head and said the first few words of the prayer lie nas Kept tms up ever since ana is adding other words of the prayer as the little girl teaches them to him. Chi cago News. ' , The Wrong Kind. "Bromley, I've been going through my last year's vests." "Find any bills in the pockets, Dar ringer?" , "Yes, one." "Good. A $50 bill I hope." "No, a bill for $19.53." "But there isn't a bill of that denomi nation." "Oh, there isn't eh? Bromley, it was a wash bill "Philadelphia Ca'L They Matched His Head. -"It's very cold," remarked Mr. Mc Corkle, as he came into dinner. "My hands are perfectly numb." "Then they match your skull perfect ly," was the unfeeling comment of his wif e, -PhiladelphiaTimoa. CUING -All K0W. The Romance of a Chinese Ranch man and Miss Annie Freese. A Celestial Cattle King Who Married an American Girl. Ching Ah Kow, a Chinaman who ar rived in San Francisco about six months csro from Tex is en route- for China with a pretty white wife and two children, Was met on his return by an Examiner report: r, as hi was crossing the bay to visit soiro friends in Oakland in company with 1T family and a ser vant On bcinjr addressed by the re porter, Ah Kow appeared so affable and wi ling to t ilk that tho scribe joined him on tho boat When seated his eyes beamed. with a sort of quizzical intelli gence as ho remarked: "I quite understand your curiosity. You h'avc noticed that I have a white wife and a pair of pretty girls, and you want to know how ,1 camo by them. Isn't that so?" "Well, I expect you havo guessed it," remarked his companion, "but a police officer at the ferry ha3 already told mo that you were a cattle king from Texas." "A cattle king?-' he exclaimed, "why, I havo not more tlian a thousand, but I have considerable land." . "How did you happen to make such an investmcnHa that country? ' was in quired. "That lady you see over there, my wife, was the main cause, and I'm not a bad looking fellow myself in American clothes, am I?" he continued, straighten ingup. Tho assent was given that ho was not. "incn you will aamit that sue was somewhat excusable in disregarding race prejudices. Tha whole story u that I lived in Saa Francisco until Kearney began to stir things up. Fear ing that members of my race would be molested sooner or later, and not de siring to return to my native country poor, as I had run away from a wealthy father in Hong Kong, I determined to seek a new locality. Gathering to gether about $500, I drifted south, and continued ta drift through Arizona and Colorado, uutil 1 naali,? landed in San Antonio, Tex. There I opened a Chinese bazaar, and sold my goods at such enormous profits that it was but a short time before I had about $5000. I was admitted as a member of the Social Ciub there, and became extensively ac quaiatcd. Among my acquaint ances wero many ladies. Many of them gave me cause to think that my attentions would not be repulsed. To one of these I became at tached. Her name was Annie Freese. Again, that's my wife. 1 did not then know that sho owned in her own name 1000 acres of land not many miles away. It was what you would call a case of true love, and it ran smooth." At tho closing sentence the reporter looked up rather suddenly. "Oh, I'm quite conversant with your literature, as i3 evidenced by my fond ness for Shakespeare and other authors whom, it is said, foreigners do not appreciate. Well, to continue, I paid my addresses to her. Then a revulsion of feeling seemed to take place. I was acceptable enough until I desired to marry one of their native daughters, though she was an orphan, by the way, Dr. T. HcNear, her guardian, mado it so warm that we had to run away and get married in another county by a Justice of the Peace. She1 was 19 years of age and I wa3 80 at that time. We got married, though, all right, and returned to face tho music. It was a cold reception that wo got. I told her that it would be all right, that I had over $5000 and could make more. It was then that sho told me that she had a thousand acres of land in her own right and a house and lot in tho city. She advised mo to buy cattle and stock it. I then closed out my business to advantage, bought cattle and plodded along until I was able to purchase five thousand head of stock, which aro. in creasing. It is all paid for. The cow boys tried to kill me onco or twice but I escaped." " Why did you go to China?'' " To see my father, whom I had not seen for nearly eighteen years." " And you return just on tho cvo of your new year? ' "That is the main reason I did re turn. I married a white . woman and I desire to become a white man, or as nearly as possible. Furthermore, my business sadly needs attention." " How do the people of San Antonio regard you and your wife now?"" " Things are all right now you see, I have money; that makes some differ ence," and Ah Kow winked. The boat arriving on the other side, tho fat Chinaman and his vigorous and rosy wife bade the reporter adieu, in forming him that they, would take the overland train for their home that morning- " ... : v - 1 The family was the centre of attrac tion on the boat during the entire trip. . Many people will remember the no toriety attaching to the marriage of Ching Ah ICow and Miss Freee, the lady being of an old and eminently re spectable family. French Funeral Custom?. When a person die3 in France his rep rcscntatives immediately send out what aro called "Lettres do faire payt" to all friends and even slight acquaintances, inviting them to assist at the religious service (supposing thero is to bo one) and the burial of tho deceased. Tho circumstances generally state- that tho cortege will be formed at tho house of tho defunct. The more intimate friends assemble in tho drawing room, whero they are received by tho nearest rela tives of tho deceased person. Mean while the coffin has bom placed in tho doorway of the house, which has been converted into a sort of chapel. Tho opening is draped with heavy black hangings bordered with silver fringe. and often embroidered with tho arms or initials of the deceased. If tho ceremony u to b3 a religious one it is very rarely a "civil" one the friends sprinkle the coffin with holy water, which is placed at tho head, ia a silver plated vess.l, together with a brush. Whoa the procession is formed, tho nearest relatives aro the immediate followers of tho coffin. . The men in variably walk, if they are able to do so; ladies follow in carriages. A priest, ac companied by choir boys, vested in cassock and surplice, 'fetches" tho body. In the country they go on foot and chant, but in Paris they always head the cortege with a carriage. The general body of followers usually num ber several hundred. The men go bareheaded even in the burning sun and falling rain. As tho bier passes tho busiest and mo3t effer vescent man acknowledges the solem nity of death by raising his hat The ceremony in the church is plain or pompous, according to tho position that tho dead person occupied in tho world. In Paris there are five "classes" of funerals. A first-class funeral is a very elaborate and cxpensivo affair. Tho church ia which the service is held is profusely draped with black and silver. The catafalque is quits monumental and is all ablaze with candles, and green flames arise from tall lampadaires placed at the four corners of the catafalque. All the chanting power of the church is brought to bear upon tho service, and professional siegers ar3 also engaged for tho occasion. The second and third-class funerals are also very ornate, but in the next decent the difference is strongly marked. Finally we come down to tho coffin made of pino and the severely plain canonical service for tho dead. At the close of the service tho chief mourners stand near the door of the church to rjceiva tho conventional shake of the hand from tho30 who have been invited to the funeral. Bostor Herald. Hunting Wild Ducks on the Chesa peake. When driven out of tho Great South Bay by tho gunners, many of tho wild fowl emigrate to the Chesapeake bay, where they are met w'.th by sportsmen from Philadelphia and the neighboring cities. Although tho gunners are just as eager there to get a few good shots at the birds the law is stricter than in New York stato and the birds aro less merci lessly killed off by sportsmen, bey men and amateur gunners. North of Tur key Point and Spesutia Island shooting is allowed only on Mondays, Wednes days and Fridays of each week from the 1st of November to the 1st of January. All tho gunning must bo done between 5 o'clock in tho morning and sunset. Night shooting with any kind of gun is prohibited and no one is allowed to shoot from a vessel, canoe, sneak-boat, or sink -box by day or night within half a mile of tho shore. These laws are strictly enforced and heavy fines are paid by those who break them. It gives Maryland a better chanco than many other states, and all visitors to tho ducking grounds havj to employ the resident owners of the boats, who make a good living in this way during the cold months of tho year. Many wealthy people from tho cities run down to tho feeding-grounds with their yachts on shooting days; but even then they usually employ one of the bay men to go along with them as guide and gen eral director of the expedition. Early in tho morning tho yachts and cat-boats can be seen cruising and manoeuvering around the shore, waiting for the clock hands to point to the five-o'clock hour, when they sweep over the line in a dead race for the shooting grounds, each boat bound to be the first on the spot The game constable is on hand each morn ing, and he takes particular care to see that no boats cross the line until tne appointed time. He gives the word to go at th- proper time, and the yacht race then, begins. Harper's Weekly. ..' A Blessed Year. Miss Ethel And so you are really en gaged to Mr. Sampson, Clara? Miss Clara (blushing) Ye3, it all happened last evening, Ethel. Miss Ethel--"What a blessing leap year is, dearf SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS. Lake Superior iron ore deliveries in the lower lake : ports for the past season were 3,347,320 tons, an increase of over 1,000, 000 tons. The gain in production has been 32 per cent, in rates 48 per cent. This year the miners are reckon ing on an output of from 5,500,000 to 6,000,000 tons. Probably the best lookout point Or natural watch tower in the world is Caddo Peak, in Johnson County, Texas. It is a beautiful truncated cone, ridng 300 feet above tho level of the surround ing country, and from tho top of it, on a clear day, ono can see a distance of 400 miles up tho rreandering- Brazos river. Dr. Gotling has invented another gun which he calls tin "Poiico gun," and which is designed for use ia riots. It is brass, weighs seventy-eight pounds, is mounted on a tripod with a u iversal joint, works very much like tho Gatling gun, and will deliver 1,003 shots a minute in any direction silcway, up or down. At a late meeting in London, Dr. E. P. Thwing stated that Americans are more susceptible to the influence of al. cohol than Englishmen, and that they are more affected by tobacco than the Hollanders, Turks or Chi iese. This he supposes to be due to an increased sen sitiveness of tho nervous system, induced by the high-pressure life of this country. Tho forco popularly believed to bo exerted by nitro-glycerino and dyna mite, when exploded, is somewhat mis estimated. Thus, experiments show that the power developed by tho ex plosion of a ton of dynamite is equal to 45.675 foot-tons:, one ton of nitro glycerine, similarly exploded, will exert a power of 64,453 foot-tons, and one ton of blasting gelatine, similarly exploded, showi a force of 71,030 tons. Indications now point to the existence of a submarine volcanic crater between tho Canary Islands and the coast of Portugal. From a cable-laying steamer ia 39 degrees, 23 minutes north, 9 degrees, 54 minutes west, the water was found to measure 1300 fathoms un jder the bow and 830 under the stern, showing the ship to be over the edge of a deep depression in the ocean bottom. The well-known great inequalities in the bed of the Sea of Lisbon are thought to be duo to a submarine chain of moun tains. It is reported that in Peru and other parts, of South America the past year's fruit has been avoided by birds, while it ha3 caused tho death of sheep and cattle when fod to them in large quin- tities. Those observations havo been cited as tending to show that the in stinct of birds, with respect to the wholesomeness of fruits, i3 frequently a worthy guide for human beings to fol low. The possibility is suggested that the variation in tho fruit of different years miy have something to do with outbreaks of cholera, A medical man mentions that, like his father and paternal grandfather, he has always had the power of voluntarily ejecting food or fluid from the stomach at any time. When troubled with acid ity or nausea, the stomach is emptied at will without the slightest difficulty, and may be washed out with several glasses of water. At college this faculty was used for gain, largo doses of narcotic poisons being swallowed for wager3, and afterward immediately expelled. An investigation is suggested to determine the cause of this gift, or what voluntary muscles account for it. How Billy Patterson Was Struck. About forty ycar3 ago, at one of the medical colleges of this country, the students had a trick of hazing every new man who entered the institution. They would secure him hand and foot, carry him before a mock tribunal and there try him for some high crime with which they charged him. He would bo convicted, of course, and sentenced to be led to the block and decapitated. A student named William Patterson came along in time, and was put through the court and sentenced in the usual solemn. and impressive manner. He wat blindfolded and. led to the block, and his neck placed in position. The execu tioner swung the ax and buried it in the block, allowing it, to be sure, to go nowhere near Patterson's head. The students laughed when the trick was at an end, but Patterson was dead. He had died from what we medical men call shock. All the students were put under arrest, and the question arose, "Who struck Patterson?" On the trial it was shown that nobody struck him, but the medical students retained tho expression, and it has come down through them to the present day. Cleverly Caught Dobson- -Hello, Jobson, old man,how are you? Oh, by the way, can you change a twenty -dollar bill for me? Jobson (pleased to be thought a cap italist) Certainly, my boy, certainly. Dobson--Good, I'm glad to hear it Then you'll certainly be able to pay me that fivo dollars you borrowed last year." ' - ' r.-"- And Jobson had to pay. Somerville Journal. Last Night Last night my dream-clad feet did tread On well remembered paths; and I did see The self-samo scenes th2 same 6tars shed Their dreamy light on you and me; The little stream coursed on its silent way, Our littlo boat rocked idly at our foet, And side by sile we watched the shadows Play, 4nd list to strange," weird music, wildj sweet, Last night ist night we drifted down tho self-samo slream; And I looked down into those midnight eyes, And road in their clear dopths my life-long dream; They were to me my heaven and my para dise. You sang, and e'er the echoes died away My heart beat wildly with a throbbing pain, My eyes were weeping, for I could not stay The tears that camo for tho hopes long slain Last night! Last night e'er the evening shadows fell We met we parted, 'twas the last oa earth, I heard, as of yore, tho village church bell, As it rang on that eve of tho Saviour's birth, How little we dreamed as ho turno;l to go, The different paths we wero doomed to tread! ' Xhen my heart grew sick and my head bent low Oh, many the sorrow that lips never know! And 1 sprinkled with tears a hope long dead List night. Last night my dreaming fancy led mo wher3 In days forgotten we would often stray, And bid mo dwell for one brief moment there, And sip the fragrance of tho new-mown hay And faces that the sod hath covered o'er And blotted from our sight, camo back to me, And phantom figures pressod tho tufted floor Whero we two lingered in our infancy Last night George Wilmot Harris. HUMOROUS. A goo I nick-name Satan. She stoops to conquer The washer woman. The dresses of engaged young ladies wear out soonest about tho waist Wonder if a balloon would bo moro effective if it were made of fly paper? A European miser has learned to bark, so as to save the expense of keep ing a dog. Toast An honest lawyer, tho noblest work of Go J, when an old farmer added, "And about tho scarcest" It i3 when a man sits down suddenly, unexpectedly and severely that he real izes what a hard, hard world this is. The public look upon the college yell a3 a useless accomplishment, but in later years," when some of the boys get into the itinerant fish business, they find it comes powerful handy. "I trust your lato husband had some thing laid up for a rainy day," said a friend. "Indeed he had," replied tho widow, with a fresh burst of tears, "ho had seven umbrellas. John was tho thriftiest man ever I see." A Queer but Efficient Rnle. Chicago architects have a queer way of estimating the cost of tho ten and twelve story buildings now being erected there. They take the dimensions and find tho exact cubic contents. Then they say the building, if plainly finished, should cost 25 cents a cubic foot, and not moro than 33 cents if elaborately finished. IVis is a kind of "Rulo of Thumbs" plan which the boat builders use to determine tho carrying capacity of their vessels. The rulo of thumb is said to be very exact, and so is tho rulo of tho architects noted abovo. Tho uso of tho rule by tho architects is almost universal throughout the west It en ables them to como somewhere near tho cost of tho buildings so that thoy can find out whether it is worth while to draw plans and make specifications. Contractors also uso the rulo so that they can give a rough guess and decide whether they will bo able to carry such a large contract Buffalo Express. A Shrewd Farm Hand. Tho New York Tribune tell3 of a laborer who agreed to dig a farmer's potatoes for one potato a hill. Tho con tract did not confine the laborer to a selection from each hill, so he took tho largest wherever found. These aver aged about half a pound in weight, and as there were 4000 hills to the acre, his share was just one ton, or . 33 1-3 bush els. At sixty cents a bushel they amounted to $20. He dug at tho rato of one-fourth of an acre per day, mak ing his daily wages $3. It took one fourth of the crop to pay him. A Warning. It is said of a trustee of Vassar that when once visiting the college ho loft his boots in the hall at night, as though at a hotel. Some of the girls, for tho joke of it, set to work and blacked them, and then stuck a pretty bouquet in each. This is leap year. Keep your boots in, gentlemen, and don't be betrayed by finding boutonnicres in the toes of your slippers. Men have rights that even a leap year girl is bound to respect Inter-Ocean.