THE DANBURY REPORTER
VOLUME Y.
TIIE REPORTER.
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DANBURY, N. C., THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 23, LBBO. ,
0 Til Bit FOLLOWS THINK HO TOO;
There's juit one Iblog « man can bave
In 411 (hit world or woe and strife,
That make* tbq business not too bad,
And that one thing's an easjr wife.
Dost f»ncj tba* I girl
For Rosy cheeks orraven hair ? (
Sbe holds my heart because she laughs—
Because she laughs, and doesn't cure,
• . i . 1 ■ lU >"*
I put my boots just where it suits,
And find them where X put th*m, too;
That is » thing, you must allow,
A chap can very seldom do ;
I leave my papers on my desk,
She never dusts them in a beep,
Or take* to light the kitchen stove
The very on* I want to keep.
On winter nights my cosy dam*
Will warm her toes before the Br* ;
She never scolds about the lamp,
Or want* the wick a trifling higher j
On Sunday she is not ao fine
But what her raffles I can bug ]
I light my pipe just where I please,
And spill the ashes on the rug.
The bed is never filled with "shams"—
A thing some women vilely plan
To worry servants half to death.
And spoil the temper ot a man.
She lets me sleep to any hour,
Nor raises any horrid din
If it just happens now and then
To be quite late when I come in.
I tell yon, Jack, if yon would wed,
Just get a girl who lets things run ;
She'll keep her temper like a lamb,
And help you on to lots of fun.
Don't look for money, style or show,
Or blushing beauty, ripe and rare ;
Just take the one who laughs at fete—
Who laughs, and sbows she doesn't care.
You think, perhaps, our household ways
Are just perchance a little mixed ;
Oh, when th*y get too hofrid bad.
W* stir about and gat things firtd.
What compensation has a man
Who ear's his bread by sweat of brow ,
If home is made a battle-ground,
And life one long, eternal row ?
Harper't Magazine.
Helpless Girls.
Our most helpless girls belong not to
ibe highest or lowest but to the middle
class. Mulburj street bring* out girls
who o»o wish, oook, walk tea miles and
•wiin. Fifth avenue produces girls who
can row, swim, ride, (boot with bow or
nfle and even cook. But between these
two extremes is a vast army of piano
playing and making the most of their
good looks, can do nothing, or next to
it. Pat them in a boat, they are help
ICM. Put tbem in the water they are
flounder and (ink. Pot them on a horae j
they fall off Put them on their feet,
they oan't walk a mile ualesa 'out shop
ping.' Put a bow in tbeir hand', tbey
are oowlika is awkwardness. Put them
on a vessel it is with diffieulty (hey {ell
whether the bow or stern goes first
Apart from danoing or musio, in whiob
tbey are profioieat, tbey are profoundly
ignorant of all raal really good employ
ment or reoreation. They pad, they
powder, they dye their hair, tbey bisect
Themselves with oorsets, they grow faVi
•ad flabby } there ia little elasticity in
their mttaetssand leee in tbeir minds;
their talk Tuns to commonplace, or if ex
cited to a series of expletives and inter-,
jeotions, deemed pretty in a girl when
the bloom is en her obeek and ridiculous
in aa old maid when the bloom ia off.
Turn them adrift on the world, deprive
them of tbeir natural aapportors, and
they aink at onae. Tbey have little phy
sioal or little real pride of character.
They are willing and anxious to be mar
ried and supported. Tbeaa are to be
the mothers of the majority of the com
ing graphic v
CISTERN WATER.— "Tve t>eca •
workin' like all poeseased to day," said:
001. Solon, aa be borrowed a paper from
the loeal editor.
"80 ; what have yon been doing T"
"My wife, ye see, has the rheumatics ;
an' 'twas washday ; so she sea to me,
sea she, 'Solomoo, tbe water in the
cistern is out, an' I ean't wtseh without
cistern water, and my rheam&tica ia so
bsd thst I ean't fetch it.' Sufficiently
profundieated, sea I, 'Sally, I'll bring
the water.' An' I brought twenty-Ave
pails of water from my neighbor's well
as' poured it into that cistern, an' then
1 pumped every blamed drop out for the
wasbin'. Mighty bard work."
"Why, in tbe DSl*.* of common sense,
didn't yon pat the water ia tbe tabs,
instead of turning it isto the eieteru
sad pumping it oat again t" said tbe
editor.
"Coa,** said tbe Colossi, bristling
ap, "coa, ia the oame of common sense,
she had to bate cistern water to wash
with, yer darned foot."
WMAI DID IT GO—WHBRB HAS
Tarn MONEY GONE?— Take,for instance,
this fact: Ia the fiscal year of 1867-68
over one hundred millions of galloue of
distilled spirits were manufactured ia
the United Btatee. The tax was $2 per
gallon. Tbe revenue from that source
should have been two hundred millions
of dollar*. Tbe revenue oolleoted from
tbe source was ooly seven teen millioni of
dollar s. —Hillsborough ( Ohio) Gazette,
Av/u*t 19,1880.
1 ' '7 ■ 1
Patience Or eater Than Jos*a.
I suppose Job's pstienoe wss wonder
ful for a man ; but it was nothing to
thst of women. What would Job hsve
done bsd he been compelled to sit is
the houss sad sew, sad knit, aod nurse
tba ohildreo, sod see that hundreds of
different things wore attended to duriag
the day, snd beer obildren cry, sod fret,
aod complain ? Or how would be hsvs
stood it if, like some poor woman, bs
hsd been obliged to resr a family of ten
or twelve obildren Without, ssy help,
spending months, years—all tbs prims of
life—in wsshing, scouring, scrubbing)
mending, 000k log, and nursiog children ;
fastened to the house snd his Offspring
from morning till night, snd from night
till morniDg; siek or well, in storm or
snosbiae, his nights often rendered mis
srable by wstobing over bis ehildreo ?
Haw could he have stood all this, and in
addition to all other troubles ths curses
and eveo violenoe of a drunken com
panion ? He would soon hsvs tired of
unrewsrded labor and undeserved blame.
For, after all, though Job sodured his
boils and losses very wtll for s short*
time, tbey 4id not endure long enough
to test tbe strength of hi* patience.
Woman tests her patieooe by a whole
life of trials, aqd she does not grumble
at ber burdens. We are. honestly of ths
opinion that woman has more patisnoe
thsn Job; snd instead ot ssyjng, "The
pstienoe of Job," we should say, "Tbe
patienoe~ol woman."— Exchange. t».,
Hair Breadth Escapes.
Sometimes, wheo I look over my life,
I am smssed to see how the pagea of its
record are dotted with these hair breadth
escapee. I escaped the dsnger snd hard
ships of the revolutionary war by wait
ing until the war had been over about
sixty years bsfors I got born. When
tbe Brooklyn theatre burned I was ia
Builiogton. When the yellow fever
broke oat in New Orlesns I was ia Min
nesota, sod immediately skipped ont for
Canada. When I was a boy at school,
one dsy, all th 4 boys st sebool were flog
ged all around for robbiog sn sppls or
chard and the flogging didn't do a bit of
good, for every beggar of them had the
cholera morbus sll thst night just the
same And I ? I wss stteodinganoth
er school twsnty three miles distant.
When all my brothers and aistsrs were
down with tbe scarlet fever, I was dowa
South ia ths army, I laugh to tbiak of
my eat good fortune, %pd that I only
have to be shot at onoe cr twice a waek
instecd ot having tc take msdieiae three
ftgise * day. When 4 «aan eomee to tbs
oftse with a little bill nine times oat of
ted lam out. And if; by some astonish
ing blander I sm in, then indeed I am
tqore uufortunste, but tbe man ia in no
better luck thsn before.
Tba Bloeax oB Age.
A woman never grows old. Yean
may pass ovsr hsr head, bat, if benevo
leooe and virtue dwell in her heart, ebe
is s£ obserful as when the spring of life
first opened to her view. When #s look
upon a good woman we never think of
her age ; she looks as cLarming as when
the rose of youth first bloomed on her
cheek. That rose hss not faded yet; it
will never fade. In her aeigbborhood
she is the friend and beuefaetor. Who
does not lovs end respect the woman
who has passed ber dsjs in sets of kind*
nees and mercy—who hae been the
friend of man and God—shose whole
life bee been a soeae of kindness and
love and a devotion to troth ? We re
peat, each a woman cenqot grow old.
She will alwaye be froeh aad buoyaat ia
epirite, aad active ia honbie deads of
BMrey and benevolenee. If the yoceg
lady desires to retain tbe bloom and
beaaty of youth, let ber not yield to tbe
sway of fashion aad folly; Ist hsr lovs
trath and virtue ; aad to tie elose of life
she wiH rrtrin those feelings whiob now
Basks life appear a garden of sweets—
svsr fasah aad eveF new. '>• > n
When the silver dollar* were ordered
to be eoised, there «n great opposition
to the taeCrare on the part of ocoet ofr
the national beaks, end this opposition
took ahape in a combined effort to
prevent their eirctriation Now, however,
for one eeuso or another, the demands of
trade are sooh that the baoka have to
saoonmb to (he requirement* of their
eastomert, and silver dollar* ere being
distributed in immense quantitiee.
White not so convenient as greenback*,
they are preferable in many ways.
Kit Carson anh His Indfab Wife.
No m&mao ovdr gave proof of ft more
devoted love for her husband than that
given by Kit Csrson's Indian wif* for
her brave, manly husband.l While min
ing in the mountains Kit met, loved and
married an Indian girl, who fully return
ed bis love sad devotion ; the result be
iff; a life of rare matrimonial happinees.
Wbon on one of his journeys be was
taken ill far from borne, word ras sent
to his wife who, without delay, mounted
a fleet mustang pony, end alone braved
the daogers of a journey of buudred* of
miles, traveling night and day, sealing
rugged mountains, pioked her way
Lthrougb dangerous aod diffioult passes,
forded rivers aod kepther course through
morasses and swsmps with only her pony
and wild beasts for eompany, making
oniy shortstops in open piairies to lot
her hardy littls horse feod snd rest, and
finally arriviug completely exhausted, to
find her husbsnd better. But the ex
posure and exertion killed her. She was
seised with pneumonia aod died in a few
boors is her husbsnd's arms The
-•hook and bis unutterable grief killed
bim. In bis agony be a blood ves
sel, and they were ' * tame
grave.) . , ... ...
Where the Difference Game In.
A oertaio gentleman legal
assistance bgj been reopmuiended to oife
of the two brothers, but bad forgotten
the Christian name OT Bim he Sought, so
he c»U«d st the office 'of tbe one first
found and asked for Mr Pedger.
"Thetis my name, sir."
''But there are two of. jou of thai
name heie in town ?"
"Yes." • »
"Well, I wish to oonawlt with the Mr.
Podger—excuso me for the
who wears a wig.''
"Wo both Aur *igi, sir."
"Well, the SjML suek was divorced
trott bis wits not Ting ego." 1 o vf .
"Tbere yoo bit oftatb again, sir." ..j]
"The man to whom fwns recommends
ed has recently been sooussd of forgery,
though, I trust; unjustly "
•Th«re we are again, rty dear sir.
We Mii both tHsi skat genlte inetaua
tion laid at oar doors." . 0J
"Well, upon ay ward, you two broth
ers bear a striking resemblance. But 1
gusss I have it now. The one Ism after
is in the habit of occasionally drinking
to excess-—sometimes to intoxication/'
"My dear man, thai Aittio vice if un
fortunately ebars :ier:f.ie of the pti.- of
us, aod I doubt if err bust friend* ooald
tall yon which Was t be vorit."
"Well, you are * washed p%j» eer
taisly. But tell aie," catunuad .'>« visi
tor, "which of the twain U WM that
tcck t,he poor debtor's e*ih a.few rnunthe
sgor
"Ha, ha, wb were 09th in t*at mud-
Ma. 'I ass on Bob'* paper and he was
on mine." » u i ,
"In mercy's nsm* 1" cried, tie ttgplij
sent, desperately, "wiU you tr.l me
wbicb of the two is i]io tuost sensible
mab 1 ?"
"Ah, there yon tonkh .my
friend Poor Bob, I can't tbo
truth, even to serve a brother. If you
want the more sensible one of the t»o I
suppose I must seknowied'p^ 1 the ehro
I'm the man Terry (Miss.) Enttr
prii« ,5. j, 1
♦* r 1
WEALTH —WeaIth is an expetishre
thing. It oosts all it's worth. If yon
Want to be worth a million dollars, it,,
will cost yon just a million dollars to get
it. Broken friendjKhip, intelkotnal star?
vstioo, loss of social enjoyment, dcptiVs
tion of "generous impulses, the RIIIO ther
ing of manly aspirates, a limited
j robs and a scanty table, a lonely hums
i because you fear a lovely wife aod bsaji
j liful borne would be ospecsive, s hatred
' of the heathen, a dread of Hie cjntribu
tioa box, a haunting fear of the woman's
aid society, a fretful dislike of poor peo
ple because tbey woa't keen their misery
oat ot your sight, a little sbam benevol
ence that is worse thsn none ; oh, you
ean be rfetTyonng man, if you are will
ing to pay the pries.
PROOFS OF GAKVIILD'B GUILT.— One
of the great truths whiob can't be kept
too muoh at the front during the entire
eaavasa -is' tbs fast tbst all the ohargee
piefsrrod agaiast General Garfield are
proved by tbe resords of Coagrsss aad
by Wading journals of his own purty.
General Garfield is unfit tor any offioe of
trust of responsibility, or tbe leading
journals of his party lied about him like
a gaag of scoundrels, seven years ago,
wheu there was not tbs slightest
temptation to utter untruths.— WWii'ny
ton Pott
SLATS FOR FLOORS.— Cattle and pigs
and sheep oan be kept far belter aad ia
mure perfecAealth uj the use of spars
oc slat* for floors. For pigs, sheep and
calves place the slats from s third to
half an inch apart aod have a pit below,
into wbioh all the. refase oau fall and
whence it osn be easily removed. The
slats sboa d be slout three inobes broad.
A Merry Heart.
I'd rather be poor and merry, sayM
writer, than inherit the wealth of the In.
dies with a discontented spirit J A merry
heart, a cheerful spirit, from which
laughter awella up ag oetMttfy as bob
ble the springs of Saratoga, are worth, alt
the money baos, stocks and mortgages of
the oify. The man who laughs is a duo>
tor, with a diploma indorsed by the
ao'aool of Natnre; his faoa dors mora
good in tho siok room thsn a pound ol
powders or a gallon of bitter draughts.
If things go ri«ht he laughs, because he
is pleased ; if things go wrung he laughs,
because it is batter aod ohaaper than
crying People ara flways glad to see
ttin, their liauda instinctively go half
niy to u>eet his grasp, while they turn
involar.tarily from tlio okmmy dyspeptic,
who speaks* in the groaning key. He
laughs you out of your faults, while you
sever dream ni being offended with him,
and yno ucvar know what a pleasant
world you are living in until y he points
out the sunny streaks on ita pathway
WhA can help loving the whole souled,
geuial laugher ? N«t the buffoon, nor
the sin who elasaes noise with mirth,
but the cheery cauteotsd man of sense
aod mind I A good oatured laugh is the
key in all breasts. The truth is that the
people like to be laughed at in a genial
sort of a'way. If you are making your
self rtiiiWuus, you waul to be told of it
in a pleasing manner, not sneered at.
'And it is astonishing how frankly the
laughing population can talk without
treatfing on the toes of (heir neighbors.
Why will the people put on long faces,
whet» it i*«o Qtuob easier aud pleasanter
to hy>gb/ Tear* ouaie to u* uns ught
aud upbidden The wisost art in life is
to cultivate smites, and to fio'd the Sowers
where otbere shrink aWay for fear of the
thorn, ,'u / n \ ■■>»«
A Noble Habit.
There are persons whom you cao al
ways believe, because you know they
have the bahitof telling the truth. They
do not "oolur" a story or aolarge a bit
,of pew* in order to make it sound fine or
remarkable.
here are othehi jtfn hardly
loo#' Whether to beltare or because
.AM "stretob" things so. A .trifling in
in ai»e, but oat is qiiilityl
by patxir.g through their mouth. They
take a small faot or slender bit of pews
' eirtf-prf H with wdded wpria, and paint
it with high solored adjective*, uut a it is
' largely uurral sad gneaa false imprcs
sip#i, one does not listen to
folks, whou so muoh must be ''allowed\
tot
Coltrvaie this habit offelling the truth
ig little'tbinga ae well aa ia.gfoat ones
jPiok yoer worda 4( Jli#ely, aud r .uso only
«jfh as rightly mean. whM you wiah to
say. Never stretch a story or faot to
tuaVe it seem bigger of funnier. D>
this,-tad people wiH Itatrn to trust you
ati. respect 'yh*. This .Will be better
• a oatae for wonderful
tileries or making fuolishly or falsely
"fbnoy" r#u>;rk*. There are enough
'true thfbgt happening in the
ied tt»«y*are moat
when tyld ju*t exaotly as: tbay.ooujo to
pass. i)u* ba||,well Wi4 de
ceive 'or the sake of a fooliah or to
eicita the of* i lew companions
'atlbe rtpttrt ot a ftifcifr." :ij
i Dsar younp irteads, be true. Do the
fal«e tyngUM Let yourtt speak the
things that are pure, lovely, true.
j J Mother's IiOVO. 01
i.a o->u! }.. i ' * M-i
Limnrtitia tells a story that exquisite
ly illustrates a mother's love, lu rouie
' Fprlnjg a riwr Widely washitfita
shifres and itat tway • bough wberßoe
a bird had bcilt a ittage fur her atiap
eper home. U>w. m* white aod whirl* |
lug sireaui drilled the braooh, its
wicker cup of unfledged song, ind, flut
tering beside it aa it went, the mother
bird. 1 Unheeding the roaring river, m
aba went, her eriea of agony and tear
Jiorciog the pauaea io the storm. How
k* the love or an old-fashioned mother,
whi> followed the dove she had plucked
flrota her heart, all over the world!
Swept away by passion that ohild might
- fee—it mattered cot; though he was
bearing away with him the Iragrauoo of
the shattered roof-tree, yet that mother
wss with bim, a ltuth through all lis
life and a Rachel at nia death.
■ ■ ■ •• m « '■ **
A mo her sent her email boy into the
eeuutry, and after a weefcwf anxiety has
received, this letter; "I got here all
right aod I lorgot to write before; it is
a very nice place to have fun. A feller
aod I went out ia a boat and the beat
tipped over aod a oiao sot me out aod 1
was so lull ef water I didn't know uothio'
for a good long while. Thp other boy
has got to be quried after they find him.
His mother couae from Chelsea aad she
erica aH the time. A hose ticked me
oyer aod I have got to have some meuey
to pay a doctor for fix in' my bead We
are going to set an old bam on fire
i to-oight, aod I should smilo u we doo't
have bully fun. 1 loat my watch and 1
am very sorry 1 shall bring home
some Qiud turkles aod I shall bring
home a tame woodobuck if I can get 'em
io my trunk."
THE FLOWERS COLLECTION
NUMBER 16.
Garfield end Gen. Shields.
There WM a bill introduced in the
Furty-fifth Congress auihorijing the
president to sppoiot James Shields a
brigadier geceral in th« United Slates
army, on tbe retired list, with rank and
lrotu and after the passage of the
act. General Bhields was then without
Beans of support, and so broken by
disease contracted in tbe service ot bit
oouutry in tbe field, and so enfeebled by
age and infirmity that bis Democratic
friends in Congresn resolved to do a last
aot of simple justice by plaeiog him on
the retired list ot the army, and thus
provide a tiding veteran with food and
shelter. It was an extetue ease, and the
dictates of humanity, to say nothing of
the acknowledged serrioos of the grund
old hero during a long and brilliaat
career in the field, would scorn to justify
any proper measure of relief.
Geueral shields was tben nearitig bis
grave, dying only a few months afterward
in great poverty. lie wrs not only a
soldier of honorable fame, but a
Democratic statesman of great ability
and unsullied patriotism, having served
pa Seoator in Congress from three
different States of the Union.
When tbe vote was taken on a motion
to suspend tbe rules and pass this bill,
the yeas were 112 and tbe nays 55. To
the surprise of every lover of justice in
the House James A. Garfield voted oay
(see Congressional Record, 45th
Congress, 3d session, page 2387).
Troy Press, August 25th, 1880.
A Methodist parson, the Rev. Stanley,
"not away" with Bishop Tuttle, as they
say oat West, during his recent trip tu
the Missoula Valley. It seem* that the
Rer. Mr. Stewart,' of Missoula, was
driving tbe plerioal party (consisting ot
Btftbnp Tuttle, tiie Rev. Tillotson and
himself) 10 his own one-horse shay, and
while en route (net tbe Rev. Stanley
driving two horses. The Bishop, who
is *1 ways ready lor a joke, sang out: "I
say, Stanley, bow is it that you Methodist
preachers manage to drive two horses,
while we Episuopoliana have to put up
with oue V "Perhaps you are ono-horse
preaohers/'said the ready-witted Stanley,
and the prooeaeion moved on amid hearty
SIIOMS of laughter, in whieb the Biahop
joined. : ,
STREET EDUCATION.—A eity mission
ary visited an euhappy young man ia
I jail, waiting bis trial for a State prison
crime. "Sir," said tbe prisoner, tears
running dnwu his cheeks, "I had a good
, home education ; it was my itreet educa
tion that ruined uie. I used to slip out
of the house sad go off with tbe boya on
the streets. Iu the streets I learned to
lounge i in the streets I learned to swear ;
id the streets I learned to smoke ; in the
streets 1 learned to gamble j in the streets
I learned to pilfer. O, sir, it ia in the
streets the devil larks to work the ruin
of tbe youug " W i stern Recorder.
A seedy looking ouetomer, who was
drinking a glass of beer in a Larned
street sato>n Detroit, and glancing from
ihe man behind the bar to the open door
as be tipped, suddenly asked :
"Has this saloon any partioular
motto ?"
"I guess not," was the reply.
"Most evory such place always has a
motto et sumo sort." ( ,
"Yes, I pellet so ; but I haf no need
of oue. All der bupiiok understands
dot if dcy do&n' bay it>r vat dey drinks
J pukes deir heailt mid a glob, nod dot
answers shunt as well "
The seedy drinker paid for his, and it
J/jolt bis last oent to do it.
i u , ■ ■ .i■■.
W®RTH ALL OB GOT FOR HIM.—
I'Well, rTy,*>la my dog," said be as ho
eaned against the door jamb.
"flave you, thongh f How muoh did
yfttt get 7" inquired a bystander.
i "Seventy five dollars."
"Well, somebody got bit on that dog
trade," lemarked bystander No. 2.
' Oh, no.: I threw in a oroqnet set, an
old campaign flag, a file of the New York
Tribune, my lest year's fishing tackle,
army overcoat, and—let nie see Oh,
ye* t I let quite a good seoond hand
huggy go with it. Ob, that's a mighty
good dog. He's worth all I got for him."
—New Haven Register.
MEN-CHILDREN.— There is a matter
demanding tbe elcae attention of county
and township executive committees, and
that attention should be given at oat*
—now-
It 1 * this : numbers or negro men are
now attending tbe trte schools of Anson,
sad I reasonably suppose of ether coun
ties claiming to be under 18 years of age.
of them voted at tbe last election.
Ail tuph will elaiui the right to vote in
November. A liet of them should be at
ones obtained from the teaebeis. Does
not this matter come within tbe purview
of tbe State Executive Committee.
There arc about 15,000 Jew* in Jeru
salem, beiug 5,000 more than were there
seven years ago.
Faith uevee mountains, ha* it takes a
oouple of exprees wagons to move a fash
ionable woman's baggage.