VOLUME VI.
Rsportsr and Post-
PI 1 LI3IIKD WKKKLY AT
• DANBURY, N. C.
PKPPER & SONS/ Pubs. 6> Prupt
Rial* III' HI KM KII'.IOX :
'ne Ve»r. piotMe n mlwi*i. e «l N»
Six MOIMIM "5
Hi, KM or AI>Vi:R.KMXU:
On# jii ire ."Hit Hi e* or 'c*») 1 t in* *"1 nrt
K*»r fr-'i nl«I t tiii.il iihfrtt.n .TO
r.L. ra u f.»r o'lgrr t mi* or m«r *|»iue «nu 1*
mule ti propirtltm t.i il e nlHito rnte*.
Tmm c t» id frtlMOs w 1. Ix) r I fo rem ♦
A(Vonl'*i(f t,» the e rata* at the t ni. they *«;•«!
th»- r »•««. »r*.
I. c-i>"N »t l.e flt ir'o.l ."»0 per rent, higher
Ih an *S»;n*e 'ntm.
H '"'ir«U w 11 be iiisflrteil at Ten Dollar*
per annnni.
rROFESSIO.Y.IL C.MVS.
ID3EUS J). G/ A. 1/7:7,',
Attorney and 'Counsellor,
MT. AIIIY, X. C.
I iii 11 in t! e limits of Surry, Slokci.
Y H iki i ami a iv.
rr, F. CARTER,
TTQa,YEV-?XT-L;X IT.
■i i. Atu^, i;av co. f n.
ri u titvs wlu're\f» liisser\ivs are u anted.
n. L. HA fMORE,
ATTORN EY-AT LAW
Mr, Airy- N. C.
•uoutioa ..iven u. the collection of
i*l.i ins. I—l-11l
II M. M AUTINDALK,
WITH
Jlllf. J. C. Ui'LLyy $ CO.,
SIATIOMKItS' AM) UOOKSKLLI-.ltS'
II AlikllOLUl.
out Hook•#> n Specialty,
b!u(io.ti*iy « f a!I k.ii.ls. W rapping paper,
Tuir.i's, iHi ii.et lit»urt i*, 1 aper i/limii.
to: W. liAi.TIMOKi; ST.. UAI/riMOKK, VP
J. H. IIAKUISON,
WI Til
A. L. ELLET&CO.,
DA if GOODS 3o NO HONS
A. 1.. I 1.1.K1T. )
A. .iriMi.x WATK-xh, f
s'u v .l^^ v ' Va
15 F. KINU,
WITU
JOIf.YSO.Y, SUTTON CO.,
DltV GOODS,
N« i*. 'lt i»"d 19 -outli Sharp. Street,
T W. JtIIIKFON, R M. PUTI'ON
J. 11. K. UKAIiBR, 0. J. JOHNSON.
O. r. HAY, AI.UEKT JONKf.
Say Jqzx^p
inaiiufi turert of •
s \r>: IA KV .HAltSl W S, COLI.AItS.TIU'N K
N.u« W. I'alt.m e ?treet. I nit nuie, l/«l. |
W i.Tnr'-er. II.C 'mlh. S l«. Hprafiy i»
Tucket' Smith i Co.
M » .. i trio. IKalvr. in
V. ii 1.-, IIA TS A.\l i C/ti'S
• N . 1.1 II« :e Street, I'alt more, .V«l.
ELII,HIT, iCITZ $ CO.,
ini v.rtei> X © i!ea!er» In
NtJTIi NS.HOsI UV.OI.OVKS, WItITKAND
i ANi \ liooDS.
No 5 lim.o- ei »'iei«t, l ull m re, Jfd.
li. .7. tf It. F.
will!
lien vij ,Son iu born )'• Co.,
IViiOLES.ILE I LOTMEHS.
10.» .o \er Vtun • . »o:i* A' l.« uil'itui St#»l
i At.UM'.Uh. XI).
11. SONNI.koKN, B. BI IMUNK.
€. i'KIS. W. S. HODKHTSON.
I. •ntric LI«, A. -v WATKINJJ.
Watkins- Cottrsll & Co..
,itt « t m kmi uubber* uf
HAUDWAIIE.
13u7 .Main Street,
Aii ii MOM), VA.
t A rent* lor Fn'rbmtki* stuiidard Nculen, uml
; AnKe. x>rui)d Uoit ng Cloth.
Si's/Inn Pu'neg, L. II Hair
»('. 11. MILKS,
WITU
ST£FHEJ\ P UTNE Y$ CO.,
il /n>ittjue imm r* ii
Boots, Shoe*, and Trunk#,
12.9 Main Street,'
Sep '• 6-bI-t'm. HHiiMUND, VA.
«f.HITUEI. WJf. n. I>EVBIK'».
CHRIST N ni.VKIKS, SOI.Oi/ON KI VJiKI.,
JIM. DEFRIES* CO.,
Ini|>urtfr» and Jobhera of
FOREICN AND DOMESTIC DRY
COODB AND NOTIONS.
312 II r.i tnutimvrr tilrrrl, Oeiietm Howard
an J l.birly. liAL'l ISlhltE.
Enltiblisced 1841.
S. T. DAVIS
WITH
T.J MAORUJ3ERand CO,
Atita.nt lUVto mut i.iw.o.* >u
HOOT*, t UOKH AM) bKdOAMI, &c.
No. 31 Sharp Street, Baltiinnre, Md.
J. F. YATKS of N. C.
with
Bayne, Anderson 4' Bard,
Wholesale Grocers,
>*o. Iftt) West l*ratt and 52 8. Howard bt.,
BALTIMOItK, MD.
. «R|»W»\G OLD.
lAt six—l welt reiiK'uilier when
I fancied a!l f ILK-T nld at KMI.
I B il when I'd tnr ind my firt' ilecade,
j Kif e • i apjieari'd iiv»ie truly staid.
1 j Hut w' en t'li- (If ■ • t'i rniitid I'd run,
' 1 tliouu't t ni.ue old till tweaty-nne.
I I Tlien (MIJIV, WV I I'd rea 'lifil ha a ■,
' I iiebl tlui thirty in. It l f> ks sa^.
, But wlie imy tliiitli'tti year wns t !1,
1 1 iiiitl: *• * twiHiv>ri. in** t '..row oM !"
Vet twn-scnrf Ctin • a:i I fun ■>{ m • thr f v,
And so I drew t ,c Ii »• .it tifty.
But »' en I ie. t i'' e ! that ag», I swore
i N'one could IK* nl 1 until score.'
And here I am a' sixty IO'V.
As }ouiig as when at six. i trow !
' l is trui' my fail It somewhat^ray,
A'nl t!iat •' us 1 a .'mi l , l t«v 1.1 y
I 'l is true, t' - .i*s" ro 'iie, .'ur.it in., k "i*
|Su -'Urn i.i|.a" w'i - 1 lii'>y .|» *..k to ine:
B.it liioss 1 oil" so .I, iin yoii'l', as who i
| i .il 1 |. • |ile u I a! ten—
I Perhaps a l l.lew ist?r g i«w i,
j I'erliat s s im 1 ohl dlas.ons tlowu.
liut wou.'e i si 11. wliihi yH.-irthavc rid'e-l
Whe.i is it tliat ii ni n '_ro> s old t
llai'VCHt Time old tint Xriv.
lit ci llettinns of tlie p riod of harvest
carries meiuorv back to hot June, to the ,
t l ily step under the burning sun, carrying j
I tie yellow sheaves for the shock, a dnz
e:i iu a pile, to u >vet.!d proun.tioti to
j the binder's pi ue an 1 (he uiys- [
terioua binders tie an I wreitling with
the big buu lie, to th i full iry of swing- !
j iug the mighty era lie with iu uimical
ring and wish, and the merry tune uf the
j whetstone upon the ringing blade, fill- |
iug lull and valley, wood, copse and
j field. We have a va.uo impression thai
I the poetry of it was not iu the doing of
i it under a hot June sky, although tl ere
t must have been a cer a:n exhilaration,
uud ilie spirit of evolution, and the sat
isfaction of reaping the sown, and gath- j
j cring the justly due ewards of toil,
j is tlieie any peotry 1. -ft it in it! The |
music of the uierrv cradle is gone, and
the voice of the wlictstouc i> no longer
, heard with i's piercing, ringing uiiisic, |
| chiming in jidly cliorus with - th>' Voioes
jof thu uuiuerous laborers required in
j those days. There is a busiiK-ss sound
' about the steady uiouoououß wliirr of
{the reaper and binder, and the poetry
U pone. We doubt if even extra-poeti
cal afternoon suck for tin- long June
evening, with t'ie light-bread, and salt
rising, and go.deu butter, cold from the
spring-house, uud ihe blackberry pics
* an I the buttermilk, is left to shorten
the long day and gladden the weary
harvester. It must bj all dull and
prosy.
We arc inclined to suspect that the
jolly woodpecker has beaten himself,
wiib his merry laugli, hisjovial "el-cab.
( to some laud where his bright, sunny
cacbiiMtlou may still accompany the
music of the cradle and tin; ring of Ihe
whetatooe upou the blide. I'.ie hard
headed, mechanical spirit of business
has possessed ihe harvest, an I the reap
er aud-biuder is a remind.rr of the polit
cal chain into which all modern life is
binding itself. Who that has harvested j
and gathered and reaped and bound ami I
i garnered, can forbear a sigh of regret '
| for the peotry of the past, jouru iu which
j convinced judgment, as he must, in the
| firm belief that all this ui .deru progress
i is the true advancement of .ill jiit) hum
an races from the lowest, man's eti«hivo
| lueut of matter and machinery and me
chanic* to do the drudgery man had
once to do iu the sweet of Ids brow uu
t der the burning suit nor jeil.sja saw
the poetry of it as lie did it l
For the poetry of it, for the sake of
the sunny memories of it, fir one sweet
; draught of the olden times as it isglcum
, nig s-jiinijy in memory, if somebody will
leud us a cradle and ten acres whc.it,
we shall charge nothing for the cutting'
of it aud revel for onie in an eld time
harvest all to ourselves aud sneer in old
fogy,conservative contempt at the fellow
with bis reaper aud binder in the next
field.
MR. SPI'BUKON'S IDEA.— Few MEN
I have bail more occasion for groans than
Mr. Spurgeon, who is nevertheless a
cheerful man, and with characteristic
terseness preaches his doctrine of cbeer
t'uluessand endurance to the world. In
a recent sermon ho said : "If b dievers
, | learu to groan down here, their educu
tl ill will be thrown away when they get
to hfn'ven ; but if they learn to eing be
low they wull be quite at home yonder,
having n.erely gone up stairs where the
uiusiu ie belter." He pitied the Sun
day-scohol teacher who could sit down
; aud say, "Come, deur children, and let
uie tell you about the miseries of reli
t gion," aud then wonder bow it was that
the obildren did net ran after the Lord.
DAKIJUIIY, N. C„ THURSDAY, JUNE 8. 1882.
About Mother* Dress.
Only yonng and sensitive people
themselves can tell lmw often they are
troiibluil bv tho fact thu' mother, hav
ing passed t iie years of vanity uud be
ing quite sure of the estimation iti which
she is held by father his become indif
ferent to dress. Not careless, for she
!if never untidy. She brushes her hair
smooth and twists it into a little hard
knot; she pins into her tiutriuilii d dies'
the cleanest and hardest of linen cllais,
and her flat-si led prunella stioes are al
ways whole and well buttoned; but she
"does not care:" and what loving daugh
ter is there who does not want her moth
er to c ire very uiucti how she looks'
"Of Course,"sighspoor Ilelii^"ofcourse
I do not want my lua to dye her hair or ;
rouge like old Mrs. Fritz, and I shouldn't
like her to be foolish : but why shouldn't
she dress like oth.'r folks ? She is
young yet. She might wear nice bon
uetts, And gloves that fit her. Why
should she n.iike herself look funny,
and dress like ail old woman of eighty,
when she eould look so nice tixed up ?"
Hut mother, when remonstrated with,
stakes her head, quotes something about
"purple and fine linen," and remarks
tlut "her days for finery have gone by." ;
Perhaps they have, hut there is no need
for .i wry. :V matronly elegance is pos- 1
sible without that; and it is almost the j
dufy of any woman of iuean« to satisfy !
her children in this respect. Tl e ] angs
which those yotin r people endure be- ;
cause she will not ''look like other peo- j
pie" cannot he expressed in words. !
They arc something that years never
will blot out—something they will re-'
member ill their middle life with euio- 1
tions of pain. What strangers think is J
so much to the girl, who sees and feels I
glauues to which older people are iudif- |
fereut ; and. besides, she has a natural '
love for the becoming and graceful, that I
is daily wounded
It is not a common fault in the "set
tled " people of to-day to be iudilfercut to
their attire, but all the ..mre do the short
comings of the reuiaiuinif few make their
ehildrotr'# heart* nciic ; *i J it w mucli
more sensible for the mairon, who her
self "dois not care any longer'' to sub
mit to the loving dictation of daughters
who d>, and dress becomingly, than it
is to entrench herself behind some ugly ;
fashion uf the past, and spuru with con
tempt the pretty things tl ey io.ig to
see mother wear. They need not be
atiaid of\ieldllig. No daughter ever
dressed her moilier in too giy and
juvenile a fishiou. Y ur.g eyes note suit
ubil.ty of shade and color la the most
sensible manlier, and these heaven sent
dressing tuaids may safely be trusted
with •'mother s toilet."
A Yankee Trader.
"I kalkerlate i couldn't drive a trade
with • u 10-duy 1" sa d a true speciuicu
of a Vunkee peddler, as he stood at the
door of a merchant of St. I.ouis.
"I calculate you calculate abr ut right,
for you cannot," was the sneering re
ply.
"Wal, I guess you needu't get huffy
about it. Now here s a doien jeuyinc
razor-straps, worth two dollars and a
halt'—you may have'em for two dollars."
"1 ted you I don t want any of your
trash so you had better be going."
"Wal, now 1 declare! 1 >1 bet you
live dollars, if you make me an offer
for them ere strops, we'll have a trade
yet."
"Done," replieJ the merchant, | lacing
the money iu the hands of a by-sland
er.
The Yankee deposited a like sum—
when the merchant offered him a pica
yune for the strops.
"They're your r," said the Yankee as
he quietly fobbed the slakes. ••But," he
added with great ap| aretit honesty, I
kalkulato a joke's a joke, and if you dou t
want these strops 1 11 trade back."
"The iiierchaut's countenance bright
ened.
••You arc not so bad a chap, after all;
here are the strops- -give me the mon
ey."
"There it is," said the \ ankee, as
ho received the strops, and passed over
■ the picayune.
"A trade's a trade, and now you are
wide av*ke in airncst. I guess the
next time you trade with that ere pic,
you'll do a little better than to buy razor
strops.''
Away walked- the peddler with his
strops, and his wager, amid the shouts
| of the laughing ciowd.
t It seems that the men who arn't want
ed here aro the ni«n who arn't wanted in
I the other world.
An Electrical Lady,
A Nevada lady of high social stand
inp presents a singular Cnse for the con
sideration of scientists. For many years
she has been afflicted with acute neural- j
gie puns in various parts of the body. ,
and some time silicp, hoping to find re- t
lief, resorted to th« use of an electric J
battery. She used the apparatus for j
six months but found no relief. At |
this time nothing was noted of an unus
ul cliaraoter us the result, iilihough »cv
M'hl months have sine# elapsed, it vus
only when the recent cold commenced j
that any extraordinary symptoms I
followed. One night a short time ago
the lady I.ad occasion to enter a dark !
room uud pick up a woolen coat which I
l wus lying there. did so she |
was both surprised Jrft 1 frightened to !
observe a bright light surrnumiing the
baud that held the guiuient. At the
same time the electric current passed i
along the arm shocking her quite se
vcrely. When l.er husband was told of
the fact he discredited its reality think- i
; iiii; there was mure imagination than
anything else in it. So the next even- !
iug, to convince the incredulous better |
half, she turned the gas out in the room '
where they were sit iug, uud letting her i
hair down, began combing it. A rc- j
| mark able display of light was the result.,
j Ihe sparks tluw aruuuii iu every direc- '
tion, and there was a sharp, crackling j
sound as the teeth of ihe comb pa>sed ;
; between ihe hair. In laying her hands j
upon iron the lady doer nut observe tie
J peculiarities referred to, but the instant
sue touches a woolen cloth the fire begins
' to fly uud the shucks fulluw uiic another
| in rapid succession.
One summer, in the years agone, .
! while a cump-uieeling was iu progress iu
1 Katon county, there arrived on the
grouuds a bully, uuu.ed Miller, who had
made a vow lo lick Elder Johnson, aud i
break up the whole business.
'1 lie elder heaid Ihe news with culm I
compnsute, uud us soun as at liberty he |
hunted up a worldiy liiciid of his owu, i
and u»k.eJ : r UI *
'■Friend Smith ididii't you used to
fight iu )our younger days J"
■'Alt, elder, 1 buve had many a turn
with li e LOjS."
| ' And what is the effect of a sudden
blow between ihe eyes !"
"It astonishes anil humbles."
"1s there uuy danger of killing a uiau
by such a blow ?"
".Never knew a case of it."
'1 be cider went Ins w«y with .t serene
smile ou i.is face. Miller had bis coat E
oil, and was hunting for him, uud they
mel iace to tace as tbey turned u wagou, \
Miller started to crack Lis heels aud
crow, but he never imisbcd. '1 he elder
too,, bim uue squaie between the lookers
without stopping bis pace, uud it took |
luuive iuwU.es, three uippers of water i
aud two quarts oi whiskey, to icvive the i
' patient, nil get him off tlie gioduds.
One a year afterward, he met the
j elder, uml seriously asked :
"Elder, some ot the boys gay I was
kicked by a horse, aud others slick to il
that 1 was struck by lightning, but I've
' always had a suspicion Vi»t you hit lue
1 with a provision stuud. liow was it,
any bow I"
Tlie F> i.lt Garden.
There should bo a fruit garden on
every farm fur the profit*health and eu-
I joy went that it briugsj where well cared 1
| for—yielding a succession of truits from
I early strawberry time until the latest
gi apes are gone. It it uur desire that
all whu have no gaideu lor small truits
may resolve to prepare the ground aud
plant one thu coming spring. '1 he soil
tor a fruit garden should be rich, deep
; aud mellow, aud, abuve all, thoroughly
! drained should it be naturally wet.
there U uottiiug better than Well rotted
stable munure for enriching a gurdeu
soil. '1 he list of stia*berries that may j
be planted is a long une, aud has been
• added to from yeur to year. Setli
Hoyden, Charles Dowuiug, Monarch
uf the West aud Sbarplcss are all relta
-1 ble. The Biuwell bus proved excellcut
aud ihe Manchester is a promising new
sort. Ou heavy soils the jucuuda and
triomphe de gant do well. Among
, raspberries are the I'uibbert, Fatiician
and llerstine. 'lbs.mammoth cluster
aud Urcgg are among the best biack cups
lor general use. For blackberries the
, kittatinny aud Snyder are the beet. The
, I Versailles, red Dutch and while grape
j lead in the currant*. 1» is difficult to
! select from the long list of excellent
.'grapes; Concord, Wilder, Brighton,
) | Euuielan, Delaware >od Niagr*, give a
i good variety, j
Dunn in Florida.
The St. John's Kiver is a queer river,
j says a Florida correspondent. 11 is shout
150 miles long, from four to ten niiles
i wide, and averages about a foot deep.
I 111 the center, of course, the channel gets
jto be quite deep. Sometimes it has a
depth of forty feet, lis current runs
übou' a mile a day. 1 presume it would
take about 150 days for a cork to fl at
from the source of the St. Johu's to its
mouth. It is salt for fitly miles from its
mouth and brackish for 100 utiles. It U
lull of shad, catfish, frigs toads, eels,
alligators and euwl-fishes. 1 don t know
of any or reptile that don't live iu
the St. John's lliver.
"Call this a river ?" I said to an old
slligaior killer who was fishing for cat
fish off ihe pier st Palatka. ".Why, it's
a great bay. It's no more a river than
Lake Erie is. Luke Erie runs faster
thau thu St. John's Kiver."
"Thar you's wrong agen, stringer. |
She's neither a river nor a buy ; she's u
cow pasture. Don't you see the cows
siuiidiiig all over the river 1"
The uian was right. All Ihe cows in !
Florida seemed to congregate in the St. j
John's. There tbey stood iu the water |
all day long, slashing the mosquitoes '
with their tails, while their heads are un
der water eating grass. It is a strange 1
thing, indeed, lo see droves of cattle '
feeding along a river with their heads ;
under the water. '1 hey look like a lot of
cattla without heads. They will put
even their horns ..nd ears under when the
grus£ lays deep, and keep them under I
sometimes two minutes. They get to be
as amphibious as a crocodile. A sub-j
marine cow pusture is an institution en
joyed by the State of Florida.
iu tppalllng Tbuught.
During the second year of the war a
grocer in an Ohio touu scaled bis prices
by reports from the front. One day a
defeat would cut the price ol butter four
ceuts, the next day a victory would raise j
the price of eggs a penny a dozen, aud
I victory or detent was certain to hit even
the jar of nutmegs on the shelf. One
I day a farmer who hud some butter to sell
| entered the store uud asked the going
price. "1 ni paying sixtoeu to d.iy,' j
was the answer, "liut only two Jays !
ugo you paid twenty." "Yes, but you
see l'ope has been defeated since that,
aud there is a back action." t The far
mer si Id out aud wuuted the most of il .
in sugar, uud the grocer remarked as he
made ready to weigh it; "Sugar has ad- |
vuueed a cent a pound since Monday." j
| "Mercy ou uie! how is that!" "De
cause the rebels got licked in Tennessee " I
I The old man sat down on a nail keg and .
' thought it all over, uud presently looked i
I up uud suid : "My fiicnd, if a Federal j
| defeat cheapeus what you buy, uHd a
rebel victory enhances the value of what |
: )ou sell, what a hell of a fix you'd be in i
' if there should happcu to be a drawn
battle."
"l.lve lor Something."
Thousands of men breathe, move and ;
live, pass off the stage of life, and are !
heard of uo uiore. \\ by I They did |
not u particle of good tu this world, aud
none were blessed by them; none cnuld
point to theiu as the instruments of their
ledeinption ; Lot a l.ne they wrote, not a
Hold ibey spoke, could bu recalled, aud
so they perished—their tight went out
iu daikness, aud they were not remem
bered more than the insects uf yesteiday.
\\ ill you thus live and die ? Live for
something. Do good, and leave behind
yuu a monument ol virtue that the storm
of time can uever destroy. Write your
uauie by kindness, love and mercy, on
the beans of the thousands you come in
eoutkvt with year by year, aud you will
never be forgotten. No, your name,
your deeds, will be as legible o.i the
hearts you leave behind as the sturs on
the blow of evening. Uood deeds will
shine as bright ou the earth as the stars
of heaven.— T/ios. Chalmers, D. D.
Where the Mornia Hide.
Near Wisconsin, in the Sunset moun
tains, a cave has been discovered which
' is one of the greatest wonders of Ari
zona Territory. It is of unknown pro
portions, having never been explored,
aud the phenomenon connected with it
that causes the wonder of beholders is the
fact that a strong current of air lushes
iuto tbe cave of sufficient force to draw
iutothe Plutonian depths all light articles
placed near tbe entrance, 'the roaring
of tbe winds into the cavern uiay be
heard two Luudrcd yards away from tbe
I opening.
On the W.j Eloine.
It was jus, this side of Detroit that a
man entered the cur, took a seat, and
devoted hisattculioti to the morning news
paper. After a time the ci lidue'or came I
I along aud ti uched hjui gently on the
! shoulder without effect. Again he tup
ped the passenger on the arm, but there !
I wus no respense, aud il.e official had to
speak.
j "Ticket, sir!"
"1 haven't liny ticket."
"Money, then ! ' said the conductor.
"I haven't any money '
"Then you must get ift at the next
station-"
"I will," was the submissive response,
and the conductor passed aloi.g.
The train stopped at the next station,
started ngaiu novl w is bowling along at
ibe rate oi i wunij Luiles an hour, when
the conductor again came through and
saw tho traveler ou the same seat as bc
' fore.
I ' I told you to get out of tbe cor," he
J said somewhat sternly.
"You did."
I "U by didu't you do it ?"
! "1 did."
| "And then got iu again ?"
"lilid."
"Now, look here my friend, I want no |
' more of this nousclisu. Get out ot this j
'carat the next s.atiou aud stuy out.'
lou hear me!"
Again ihe train stopped and again it
| started, aud again, but iu another cur,
the coiit.ucior toui.d toe self-saute truv- i
■
clcr, us culm us a June uioruiiig.
" 1 ou lure again ? '
"\es."
j "Lndu t 1 tell you to get off this train 1
uud stay off.'"
"No."
"1 did"
"No, you t' Id uie to get out of tha'
car aud stay (Ut, and I dnl."
".Now, my In nd,' said ihe conductor,
{ "listen to uie and lotud you do just what
i tcii you; at ihe next station get off
; this train and stay off. Do just us i tell '
\ you or you will get into tiounlo !
"Agreed,' said the traveler, aud the
j conductor | asscd oil.
| Again the train stopped and started
I and again tlie traveler turned up ou the
I train. '1 i.c conductor was jrst reaching
| lor the bill ripe to stop the train and
| eject, hiui ruiumarily wucu the tiavelei
stayed his baud.
"1 obeyed orders," lie said. "You
told me to do just as yolfWdored. 1 got
; out uml stayed nut until yuu said *.VII
' aboard.' '1 hen 1 got aboard,fur 1 didu't
| want lego 1 into trouble."
The conductor gave hi.n las baud, and
i it wus noticed thai later iu the day, tliev
■ ate together iu the dil.itig car.
Na Claim* In .Missouri.
I Jenkins was travtlling in Missouri
I last year beloretlie Presidential election,
| an i in the li.bt car across from him two
men were arguing us to the probable re
sult of the election. Says otic:
"Hancock s the man."
"No, sir; Garfield will get it," was
the reply.
j Suddenly an Adventist sitting behind
■ belli spoke and said :
"My friends, do you know who is go
| ing lo be our next President ? It is the
J Lord, who is c« tiling at once with his
! atige's to reign."
(Juick as thought Jenkins, imagining
that some third party candidate had been
! mentioned, sprung up, slapped tbe Mil-
I lei ite i n tbe shoulder, aud cried out ;
| "Det you twenty-live dollais he dou't
' carry Missouri."
A I*OBICR. During the late war a
j man named West, in a small gathering
of friends, wus urging upon their minds
the importance of enlisting. "Go, my
brave frit lids," ho said, "light lor your
country, die for it if it is necessary, for
it is sweet to die for your native land."
"But," said one, "if it is sweet to die
for oue s country, why don't you go ?"
This was u poi.ir, aud for a momeni
disconci rted hiui, but rallying, he de
clared that be, as au individual, was
not fond of sweet things.
A shirt distance from Ituena Vista,
'.'ul., is il cave inhabited by spiders of
; enormous size. The cuve was discovered
| last December by a party of sighl-seek
crs. The spiders are about the size of
suiull birds, and make a strange sound
! while weaving their web. 'I he webs are
I so and ihe fibers to large that it is
, impossible to brcuk theiu.
There are a hundred poor bread mak
ers for every poor miller: but we notice
that the miller usually bat to carry the
blame for that "lust sack of flour."—
| Jlmtricmn Miller,
NO. 52
SUAI.L lIIIES.
The Ytinkers Statesman discusses
"Women as Wives " The idea seo.us
feasible.
A parrot is a great comfort to a lone
*OlOllll. It soon Icarus to sw.iar, whis
tle, :iud uiake noise, just as good as a
man.
At a curiosity shop—"Oh, the charm
ing little boil Antique, isn't it?"
"No, madam, it is modern." "What a
pity—it was so pretty !"
The attempt to revive dresses cut low
in tlld uecx tor hall costumes has been a
| failure. When anything gets so low as
, thoy were it is extremely difficult to re
j vivo it.
Otic of those motherly old negro nurs
o> skill is so often ux tolled par*-
suaded a (jraud Itapids woman to skill
a black cat and to wrap her'sick buby
in the hide. The treatment caused the
child's death.
Tfie youth who attempted to rob a
\\ estern railway tn in had his top and
marbles taken away from him and big
kite broken into a hundred pieces, la
fact, these train robbers must be treated
with the utmost severity.— Mod
ern .'lrgo.
The tables are turned. A woman of
this city "advertises, her spouse. Airs.
I'eline Scott notifies "whom it may con
cern' 1 lh.it she will not be responsible
for debts that may be contiacted by her
hutiband—Ac 10 J\'urthu>est.
Beecher contends th.it he could cure
the most, rabid so cialist in fiie mitiuies
by giving hi in SjOO,UOO. Henry, we
arc a rab.d socialsi, by luspiratiou , and
it you can-guarantee a cure on one ap
plication you can seud on your medi
cine.
A Hoston wid. w uinrried an English
clergyman, a tew years ago and gave
him outright hall her fortune ol
000. lie at once retired from the min
istry, became a drunken spendthrift and
gamester, aud his wife so much
I llut shu has su'jJ for a divorc-.
A noted physician lays many persons,
siuiply by deep aud rapid iubalations of
pure >nr, can become as iutox eated on
j oxygen as if they had taken a draught
of alcoholic stimulants, iicre is a hue
point for the man who has been walking
rapidly home from the club 111 the uigut
air.
A correspondent of the N". V. Sun tells
how to pieveut nightmare aud had
dreams. It is to "olosei yourself au
I hour with your conscience." If the ed-
I J
itor of the Sun were ro try this recipe
it would be the most lonesome hour he
ever experienced..— J\orrutuwn Htr
ald.
A Tennessee girl, who found a beau
she liked better, didn't snap the golden
j cord with the old one by suddenly re
turning his letters ami lock of hair.
I She suit for him, told hiui how it was,
1 gave him s.l in cash and 300 pounds of
peanuts, and took his receipt in full for
all demands.
I When an Eastern uian goes to Color
, ado ho is called a "tenderfoot" until
1 lie has been stabbed, shot at, engaged
I ed iu a free tight, fallen down a mine,
kicked by a mule, and chased by a vigi
| lance committee. Theu they admit that
lie is ge.liug used to the country ; and
when he kilis his mau he is looked upon
as a citizen.
111 China a man who makes or sells
adulterated food is imprisoned «r haug
' ed. lu slits country it is the man who
' buys the adulterated food who has to
I suHer. The other fellow acquires' five
| inches of fat on his ribs, and is elected
j tnpositions of liouor and trust. The
! Chinese must go. Some of t:ioir cus
13111s are subversive of our oherished in
stitutions.
About 6,000,000 pounds of evaporat
ed apples are at peisent exported tu Eu
: rope aunually. The fruit is sliced into
' pieces one-sixteenth of an inch in thick
ness, aud tbcu exposed to the fumes of
sulphur instead of drying iu the sun.
After drying, it is neatly as white as
when first cut. The evaported apples
now sell for 15 oeuts per pouud iu Eu
npesu markets.
"Please, sir, give a few cents to »
poor bliiiiiinan," "Are you entirely
j blind'" "Yes, sir." "Haven't any
-1 thing for you, to-day." "1 suppose you
think, because you wear pants and
have fcftt your hairfarted in the uiid
| die, you are somebody. You look liko
that man who was bung in Washington
county laat wtek, you long-legged, fed
beaded, froekled-faoe galoot,''