THE REPORTER AND POST.
VOLUME XI.
Reporter and Post.
tTRI.NIIFD WKSKt.Y At '
DANBURY, N. C.
PKPi'EK k 50XS, Pubs. &r Props
I'ATES or ni x.iCKiriMm i
Oe V i* *MO».U • 'ii Htl v inc# sl.9#
K.i S »r" . .73
J EN or AUVCRTINnOi
Hti • r B ' -nr linei AT !•*») 1 I mo II M
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Ct 1 "'r•; • i »• i i;:er tune :n»»r»p cull bm
ra > »i aix>«rt -
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mi ' ic crmift at -he i iu« «on 4
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PROFESSIONAL C.IRDS.
PROBER TIXUILMER,
Attorney and Counsellor,
MT. AIRY, W. C.
Practices i t courts of Snrry, Stokes.
Taasin si;«I Allcc'iany.
W. F. CARTER,
c£jrroytjrffr-.*r'£* r.
Ail. Al 11/ Sl'lUhi CO., N. C
Practices are wanted.
R~L. HA YMOHE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Mt. Airy X. C«
Sjicchal given to th* collection of
claims. I — I2IQ
~ 11. M. M ARTIN DALE, ~~
WITH
IVM. J. C. DUL4JYYS CO.,
ttTATIOXFH 1 ? ASl> I'OOKSHLLEUS
wAnnuo una.*
yjf Sr/tovl Hooks a Surcialtu. _>n
Stationery of ail kimis. Wrapping paper,
Twines, Bonne'. Boards, l'apcr UiimL.
*l2 W IIU.TiM JItS sr.. 11AI.TIMORK. Jfl>
~~~ J. S. H AKKIrfON,
Willi
A. L. ELLET&CO.,
DRY GOODS Sc NOTIONS
10, 12 A 14 Twelfth Stree',
A . T«. KLLRTT. \
A. ,ir WATKiSP, f
efflr slUchm'd, ?a
]J. K. KINO,
WITU
JOn.Y.SCKV, SUTTON X CO.,
DHY GOODS,
NUK. 27 nml 2'- 3outU kltp.rp. Street,
T. W. R. M. Kl'TCO#
J. H. R. GRABBK, O. J. JdHSSON.
O. K..PAV, ALBERT JONES.
ZD ay Be J©;a©s„
Imnm f.iHitrcrs of
bAPDLF.RV.HAH S KSS. COLL A M.Tttt'KRH
;-.n 336 W itrcct, Uiltinorv, JM.
W > »\r J ~ li I SltMth. B.B.lpmfHH
Tuck en* i Sn\ith & Co..
Il.tt ti. v tiirhr.- A w!i*le«.tlO Dcalcrk »a
HO OTP, ?,l!()i:s y lIATS ASD CAPS.
No. 5M lMUiinore Street, Halt mare. .Urt.
EEHART~ WITZ $ CQ~
import*, J JL w o.«*«A!e de:iltA» fn
KOTK'-'S WMITEASP
FAKCV O'ttODJJ.
A HAtiovtfr «CTOtft. n*>lt'i«or*. Mi.
ii. j, .t n. t. lycsT,
WITH
ilh'nnj Sqnnebom 4' Co.,
fVHOI.SS.ILE CLOTHIERS.
40 A:uto>erat-. (&c*wcenticii#»t:t .c Jit.)
hAI.TIMOHE MP.
U. SONNMOOItN, B. BUM LINE.
CWATMNS. W. S. ROHKtITHOX
1 O I.OOTjUfcLI., A S WATKIMB.
WatVins- Cottrell & Co..
:?«r mid •!
II I AH 1 > VVA RE.
1307 Main Sueet,
RlCtlitO.fi>, I 'A.
A T*»ntx for Fiirhnnk* Su.mJard KckiM, and
Auk'" Krind Boiling cloth.
Alrylitn Pu'.nr>/, A. U Blair
W. //. MILKS,
WITH
STE PHEXP UT.XE YSf CO.,
Wholesale dtalcr* in
Boots, Shoes, and Trunks,
]2!9 Main Street,
firpt. £-S!U*i. HICUMOyn, VA.
WW. OKVP.IEV \TM. R. DEVRIES,
OlltlSJ'N iHiVUIKM SOI.OJfON Kt JfJfSl*,
\\M. DEVRIES * CO..
lir i-ortfri" and Jobber* of
FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC DRY
GOODS AND NOTIONS.
SI2 UVs' Itiillimarr ■ Slrrel, hctirrrn Uotrurd
an i L iberty. ISA L 7 l MO H A".
I Entail i.ietd 1844.
S. T. DAVIS
WITU
T.J MAGKUDER and CO,
unit J>e*lum in
HOOIS » bUO/M AXD BhOLAys, Ac.
No. 31 Sharp Street, Baltimore, Md.
J. F. YATES of N. C.
wilk
Bayne,lnderson f Bard,
Wholesale Grocers,
JK«. West Pratt and 52 S. Uoward Sfc,
MiUUC>i(K Hp.
SUIT'S LAM
Jiiary liud a little lamb;
It's lichee was white m snow ;
And every where that Mary went,
Tlie lamb was ,ure to go.
It followed her to tchool one At J,
Which WM against the rale;
The teaeher (oak hie rules, then,
And lauiineu him out of sc1«>"l.
Vj
Rut when the teacher turned around,
Ito fore lie closed ;lie door,
lie Ibarul like.
All stuttered on -the floor, «
When up "frfim tfcla."' 1* e®W, „
"A moral nay be re»d:
Tti's 'rnih »unM nu. a nut', i oe
If he were better bieO."
And you a tender iamb like tills
l To you for life may bind ;
Ru ' if you do, dou't walk before,
but always walk behind.
Mr nil Mr* Wlckle.
Old man Wieklc and his wife, while
walking along the street going home
from a mite society, engaged in a quar
rel.
"I am not going with you any more,
Samuel," said Mrs. Wickle. "You aro
too old a man ta cut up the way you did
to-night. The idea of an old maa who
has the rheumatism so bad that be can't
put his socks on mornings, going to a
mite meeting and cavorting and romp
ing as yoa have done to-night' I say
its a shame."
"I may have rhetmatism," said the
old wan, " but I havn't gat dyspepsia.
I don't growl aid snap at everybody.
You have been growing worse for the
last ten years. If you didn't have me
to pick at 1 believe you'd die."
"1 won't walk with a man that acts
like a rhinoceros."
"Mow does a rhinoceros act?" aaked
the old man, thinking that be would
'.'atch her on natural history.
"Acts like & foe!, that's hew he acts,"
and Mrs. Wickle walked rapidly away,
leaving the old maa several pacea be
hind. He finally caught ap just as a
young man came walking along.
"You are walking pretty fast," said
the old gentleman.
His wife didn't say anything.
"It's clouding up," he remarked, "it
| must be going to rain."
The old lady made ne reply, but the
youag man took in the situation
"Yon old villian"' be exclaimed, ad
dressing Mr. Wickle, "what do you
mAr. by attempting to thrust your com
pany upon a lady who does not want
yoa' It's becoming too frequent for
ladies to be insulted on the street* by
loafers. Get back!"
The young man struck at Wickle.
Tho old lady eluhhed her umbrella, and
exclaiming, "That's my husband," gave
the young man an undignified blow.
The old man, encouraged by his wife's
striko for the Union, juiupejl on the
young aioa aad bold bin while the rat
tling ribs of the old on the
youth's head with a sound like the fall
ing of hail stones.
"Samuel, no one can break ap oar
domestic felicity," said his wii'o, after
the battle.
">io, sir," said the old man "When
a man tries to destroy the domestio hap
piness of my household be catcliee my
consolidated power of wrath."
Tell Mmmr .Htlbir, GMi
We wonder how man; girls tell their
mothers everything. Not those "young
ladies" who, going to and from school,
smile, bow, and exchange notes and
pictures with young man, who make fan
of them and their pictures, 'speaking in
a way that would make their ebeeks
burn with shame if they heard it. All
this, most credulous and romantic young
ladies, they will do, although they will
gaze a* your fresh young faces admiring
ly, and send or give you verses or be
gets. No matter what other girls do,
don't you d* it. H*cfeool-girl flirta
tion may ond disastrously, A many a
foolish, wretched young girl could toll
you. Your yearning for some one to
IOTO you ia a great need to eTery woman's
heart. But there is a time for every
thing. Don't let the bloofr and fresh
ness of your heart be brushed off in (illy
flirtations. KcndeV yourself truly intel
ligent. And abore all tell your mother
everything. Never be ashaacd to tell
her, who sboulil be your boat friend and
confidant t, all you think and feel. It is
Strang* that many young girls will tell
every persbo before "aaothcr" that
which it is moat important that she
shoald know. It is sad that indifferent
persons should know more about her
fair young she does her
self.
The hosee often any* "neigh'' wh»B
he wean* "yes."
DANBURY, N. C, THURSDAY, AUGUST 10, 1882.
Love a Drontu.
Tlicy arc young married people and
hare just gone to housekeeping, aad the
neighbors who assemble at their front
window* lo WIU|BM the harrowing light
of their parting for that day declare thai
the following U a verbatim account of
their ooiiY#r»atton :
"Good-bye, Charley, now bo Oartful
the «troot-cara*on't run off. tho . track
you me, Charley,—tWrc
wai seuiething I wanted Mil yo« —
hair-pins F 1
got the^ —w-h-a-t eoulil it h*»o been J,"
"I'm duo at the office, pet," qays
Charley, bracing up and looking very
, handsome and manly : "was it something
to eat?"
"Why of aourse it was ; there isn't a
bit of mashed potatoes in the house, nor
.a mouthful of bread and butter. We.
want half a yard of beefsteak—see and
bare it out bias so it will be tender—
and a loaf of sweet broad, Charley, and
a strawberry shortcake, dear, and—and
anything else you think of, dear."
"But, my litttle wife," says Charley,
looking very wise, theso things must ail
be uiadc before wc can eat them."
"Must they? oh, dear, and I never
learned to do fancy work' I never
crocbetod a biscuit fit to oat, and 1
couldn't paint a tomato to save my life.
Oh, Charley, go to tho ready-made
stores, do, there's a darling'"
He did ; and they had a picturesque
meal of lobster and strawberries with
baker's rusk and lemonade, but Charley
has written to his mother to come at
onc« and make them a long visit, they
are so delightfully situated they can
make it pleasant for her now, he 9aya. —
Detroit Post.
A Cheap Arutlou:
There is yot living in Central Michi
gan a lawyer who, some fifteen or six
teen y oars ago, was waited upon by a
committee from a small village for the
purpose of engaging him to deliver a
Fourth of July oration. When they
aaked bis price, he satd that bo eotuid
ered $25 cheap enough.
"Mercy on me' explained the chair
man, "but we can't pay no sncb price
as that' That must he for a regular
Henry Clay oration;"
•'Well, yes. I think it will compare
favorable with anything Henry got
off."
"Oh, bat wc can't stand it—wc most
have a cheaper one.
"How cheap ?"
"Not over five dollars. We'll give
you live dollars, your dianor, and all
the lemonade you can driuk for the
cheapest oration in your head."
"I'll do it 1 replied the lawyer, and
the money was paid on the spot.
He was on band on the glorioas day, ,
and by-and-bye the procession moved
to the grovo, tho oratotlook the stand
and was introduced, and without any
fooling around ho walked to the front
and said :
"Follow countryman We whipped
England twico and Mexico onco. We
are a free people. This is the glorious
Fourth. Give 'cm 'Hail Culumbia'
and go in for a good time —the end."
Ue had given them a s."> oration, and
every soul in the crowd except one old
woman was perfectly satisfied. She fol
lowed the orator around until she had
cornered him, and then expressed her
disgust by saying
"Scorns to me that if you had really
desired to please the crowd you wouldn't
have chopod that off without a siugle
word about Noah's ark or the battlo of
Bunker Hill!" Free Prets.
SLCII 18 LUTE.
A girl,
A whirl,
A dance,
A glance,
Souie coy, coquettish intrigue.
A walk,
A talk,
A sweet
Retreat,
A pensive sigh hall stifling.
A gate,
Quite late,
Oh, bliss,
A kins'
What would my mamma say, sir ' i
A thick
Aah stick,
A whaok!.
My back !
''You're getting quite too gay, sir."
"The Lord sends meal and the devil
seads cook*but wben a woman's
"hilp" lights out in the middle of the
season she wishes the old geotlemau
in black would send 'cm along a little
faster.
"Uwlne to (he Pel'
One of tb* oddest sight* in the South
ia to see the negroes hang about the post
affioes. They are the first One* Uj call
in the morarag aad the last to leave at
night, and it it by no means rare to
have them inqui re for mail ten or fifteen
times a day. 1 wot in the olhcij al Ma
rietta, Goorgia, when an aged darky
limped in and inquired
' Arntiir to' or fivo letters heah fur
junobrok* DitkeV' .
replied the postrister,
«flor takiug a look. *
"Well, den I'll Ukc one."
"Tktrc arc ao letters for you *'
"Itn't dar a ucwspapcr."
"No," ' •
"Hasn't I got ni'.f&n' 'tall
"Not a thing."
"Uat's curni—very curus,'' mut'ercd
the Kan as he walked out.
I followed after and when I mked
him if he expected tu important letter
that day he replied :
"Sartin I does. Pat's why Use walk
ed fo' miles dis mawning."
"Where was the letter coming from V*
1 dunno."
"Who did you cxpeot to write to
you V'
"I dunno."
"Did you expect news or money in
the letter ?"
"Deed 1 did, snh. I 'spected dat
letter might had S2O into it."
"Who from 1"
"I donno, but I 'pected it."
Ue then told me that ho could Dei .ti
er read nor wnto, had no friend to write
to him, had never mailed a letter uor
received o.ic ij Sis life and yet he bad
inquired ior m ilo at least five hundred
times a year for tho past ten years * 'u
•fact, it wasn't an hour after I left him
before he cfrsied round to the offioc
again and said:
"I reckon I must hab somt mail by
dis time."
"No--nothing for you."
"Wall, if dat han't cuius— ijrv
us' Reckon I'd batter waft for Jat .*
o'clock train.'' -[Detroit Fre - Prest.
Southern Industries
BT HON. CABBIVS M. CUT
I am tired of hearing the depreciating
oiyof, Wc want "Yankee brains and
entcipriie." We don't want eny such
•bine we waut southotn brains and ea
teiprise. What the South wants is
common sens* and action. The old
ruling class was not, and is not, a more
'icffioient class thin the sanpc strata
■ii N*w England. On the contrary,
history shows that when we applied our
selves to the thing iu hand, we excelled
{he North. We bad more good states
men and orators than the North. Our
military men were the foremost. In
manners rnd taste, the South with all
her smaller cities and sparse population,
was at least equal, and abroad held
superior, to the North. In physical
development tuey are, and have been,
superiors of the JSforth. Slavery pre
vented manufactrres and commerce,
and ; nterfered with common education,
and therefore was a block .to most of
the progress of modern oivilization—
mechanic arts, roads, buildings, ships,
and al! that. It prevented inventions
and the intelligent use of tho methods
already dnowa. It wsircd agai'ist
economy and self-restraint. But slav
ery is gone, aud gone forever, and tho
road to prof ress lies full aud freo before
us.
There is plenty of capital in the South
for all legitimate pu-poses. Where
comes the mono; for oi?r foreign travel;
our summer watering-places, our extrav
ag&noe in household and perioun! de
coration » We have enough to begin
with, and more will join us if need be,
ni in our new ootton factories.
Lenralni to Iwlm.
There rtally is no aystery in learning
to swim—an accomplishment which is
possessed in perfection by the most stu
pid of frogs. More than onje I hava
explained how any one ean teaoh him
self The trunk, less the arms, is heav
ier than water ; with tin arms it is
lighter; all, therefore, that a person has
to do is to acquire the habit of droning
in the breath when he is preparing to
make a stroke, and expelling the breath
while he is making it. Let any one do
this aud keep calm, and he will And that
he can swim. Hot, perhaps, it is better
to aoquire confidence by a preliminary
caarse of Healing. To do this it is only
necessary to He flat on the water, stretch
out the arms with the pal as of the bands
downward, thraw back the head, and
whenever the bady sink? low, slowlf fill
the Imp with aiv.
C«Hv«rsatl»a.
Among all the "tcoomplishmcnts"
which our young ladies are expected to
acquire it ia to be regretted that the
art of onvemtion is not included. No
graoe of perso| or manners can compen
i sate for this. In youth, the conversa
tion of oar women is too apt to be tri
lling and insipid, and in middle age is
too often confined to complaints of
health and the scandal of the day.
Lively conversation upon instructive and
elevating topic» is but little practised,
but whenever it is found, it gives a
charm to the society of females which
nothing e'se can. It triumphs over de
formity and old age, and makes ugliness
11 self agreeable. Ourran, speaking of
Madamo dc Stael, who was by no means
handsome, but a splendid conversation
alist, said that she had "the power of
talking herself into a beauty." Ladies
should think of this. Beauty lies in
other things than fine features and cos
metics.
Where He Saw Her.
Just before a Wcstern-bouad train
left the Union Depot yesterday morning,
a masiier with his little grip sack slid
around to a woman standing near the
ticket office and remarked
"Kxcuse mc, but can I be. of auy as
sistance in purchasing your ticket'"
"No sir was the short reply.
"Ueg pardon, Hut 1 shall be glad to
see that your trunk properly chocked/'
he coutiuucd
"It has been checked, sir!"
"Yes—ahem—ytu go West, 1 pre
sume !"
"I do."
"Going as far as Chicago t"
"Yet sir."
"Ah— yoa—to Chicago. I also take
the train for Chicago, llogyour pardon,
but didn't I meet you in Buffalo last
[ Fall»"
j "No sir."
"Ah, then it was Syracuse
j "No sir." t
"So ! 1 wonder where I have soon
you before'"
"You saw mc enter the depot about
live minutes ajo with my husband 1 pre
sume."
"Your husband ?"
"Yes sir. And if ymt'li stay a round
here three minutes longer you'll make
the fifth fellow of your kind that ho has
turned over to tho coroner this month."
Some mashers would have made a run
for it, but thisono didn't. Ha went off
on the gallop, and as he wanted to go
light he left his grip sack aod a ton of
brasii behind him.
The Caat of Revenge
It is reported of one of tho great cap
italists of Gothom that once upon a time
ha feund an article in one of the dailies
which rather "peeled the maa off his
spots," and he called in his confidential
secretary aud said .
"James, go out and see what the
Daily Bluster can be bought for. I'll
buy it. aud throw everything into the
bay."
J amc.s went out on the errand and re
turned and reported the price at seven
hundred thousand dollars.
"Too much ' too much !" replied the
magnate. "James, go out and see what
it will cost tiio to start 4n opposition
daily."
James sallied forth to get the figures,
and on his return reported that half a
million dollars would perhaps run it for
a year or so.
"Too much ! too infernal mnch was
the decided replyi. "James, jjo out and
buy a dollar boquot and seud it to the
editor with my compliments,—Jim'
James, 'im if revongo costs that
much money, we'rogot to knuckle and
let him take the trick."
Dr Clean an a Wlines*
Dr. Cloaa, Tarboro N. C., was on the
witness stand in court the other day.
In "giving in" testimony he usad the
word "scalawag" frequently, until final
ly the presiding judge asked tho Doctor
what he meant by toe term "scalawag."
The Doctor replied : "I mean a man
who says that ho is no better than a
negro, and when ho says so tells the
truth."
Webster, Worcester, Walker may
stand aside. The Kuglish langauge is
incapablo of adding anything to the
farce and completeness of that defla
tion.
Where one man carries an umbrella
to keep his whole body dry twenty carry
it to keep their toes dry while the rain
atreans down their coat-tails.
Democratic Platform
We congratulate the people uf North
Carolinu on the era of peace, prosperity
and good government which has been
unbroken since the incoming of a Dem
ocratic State administration upon the
puro and impartial administration of jus
tice and the honest "nforcement of the
laws upon the efficiency of our common
school system ami great advance wade
in education, and the general impn.ve
nient and enterprise manifested in every
part of the State, and we pledge our
selves to acert all efforts to advance the
material interests of all sections of the
State in the future as we have done in tho
; past. And wc challenge a comparison
between a Democratic administration of
oar State affairs and the crimes, out
rages and scandals that accompanied
Republican misrule. Affirming our ad
herence to Democratic principles as de
fined in the platform adopted by the
National Democratic Convention, held
at Cincinnati in 18)40
Resolve J, That we regard a free and
fair expression of the public will at the
ballot-box as the only sur» mean! l of pre
serving our free American institutions,
and we doneunce tb« Republican party
and the interference of its federal officials
for their gross frauds upon the elective
franchise, whereby whole districts,
States and the Union have been deprived
of their just political rights and we be
lieve the corrupt and corrupting use of
federal patronage, and of public money
drawu by taxation from the people, in
influencing and controlmg elections, to
be dangerous to the liberties of the
State anu the Un^pn.
Resolved, That we are in favor of the
entire and immediate abolition of the in
tcrnal revenue system, with its attend
ant corruptions, and that m» denounce
the present tariff laws as grossly unequal,
unjust and vicious. VV e favor such a
revision of the tariff as will produce a
revenue sufficicnce for the economical
support of the government, with such
incideitaJ protection, as will grre to
mestie manufactures a fair competition
with those of foreign production. That
there should be an immediate repeal of
all laws impoMDg a direct tax for the
support of the government of the Unit
ed States, bat if it sheald prove imprac
ticable to abolish the internal revenue
system with all it* attending demoraliz
ation, fraud and corruption, then we
urge upon our Senators and Represen
tatives in Congress the importance of so
amending the law that the revenuo offi
cers who now receive in salaries in North
Carolina alono more than $500,W0
shall be elected by tbo people of tho
localities to which they are assigned.
Resolved, That the course *f the Dem
ocratic party since ita accession to pow
er in North Carolina in furtherance of
popular education is a sufficient guaran
ty that we earnestly favor the education
of all classes of our people, and that we
will advocate any legislation looking to
uu increase of the fund for that puipoae
that will not materially increase the
presont burdens of our people.
Resolved , That the question of pro
hibition is not now, and never has been,
a party question in North Carolina, and
never been endorsed by the Democratic
party, and the people «f tho Stato at
the general election, in the year 1881,
having by an overwhelming majority vot
ed against prohibition, and the Surpreme
Court having decided tbnt the prohibi
tion act is not and never has been a law,
we regard the matter as finally settled,
aud any attempt to renew tho agitation
is merely a weak effort of designing per
sons to divert the minds of the people
from the dangerous principles aud cor
rupt practices of the Republican par
ty
Rtso/veti, That while we are not wed
ded to any particular form of county
government, we recognise the fact tha
a largo part of the taxes of the State are
paid for tha common bent fit by the
whit* peoplo of our eastern counties, and
that we consider it tlx boundeu duty
•f the wliit« men of tho State to protect
thesn people from tho oppressive doiniu
atian of ignoraut blacks, and pledge
ourselves to snob legislation as will se
cure this end.
And whoreas it is seriously suggested
that a vigorous effort will aoon b« made
to compel the State, by judicial proceed
ings, to pay the fraudulent and unlawful
speoial tax bonds, amounting to t'2'2,-
000,000, issued under legislation passed
by the Republican Legislature in 1868
and 1807 . t hare fore,
Resolved,further, That the Democrat
ic party wtll resist luck recovery and
the payment of such bonis by «very
lawful means.
NO. 9
SMALL BITE*.
How to serve a dinner: i>at it.
The fanner is known by bii fruits.
When the cats are away, the mice will
piny—thunder.
The watermelon is like a book : It
isn't read until rt is open.
In the interchange of thought use u»
coin but gold and silver.
What word of seven letters will read
the same backward 1 "Revivor."
Oold is either the fortune or theTruin
of mankind, according to its use.
Trees in the forest may be bairen, but
trees iu the garden should be fruitful
As too long retirement weakens the
mind, so too much company dissipates
it,
11 is no po'nt of wisdom in a man to beat
his brains about anything impossi
ble
Duties aud rights are inseparable—
one cannot be delogatod without the
other.
It is tlie care of a very great part of
mankiud to couceal tbe'r mdigence from
the rest.
A steru discipline pervades all nature,
wh-ch ii a ! ; ttle cruel that it may be
very k : tid.
The prompt performance of duty in
tiio past is the best pledge for tutor*
faithfulness.
"Oh, who is waiting on my girl,' is
fast taking the place of Oh, where U my
boy to nighf V
Despair and postponement are cow
ardice am) defeat. Men are bora to.
succeed, not to fail.
The visionary are always dangerous..
No man can delude others so easily as.
he who deludes h'm.elf.
The law cannot supply brains for
fools, and those who rittompt it are die
onef who ht>po to profit it.
It is one of the worst errors to »up
pose that there ii any other path of
safety except that of duty.
Dont't be aniious until you ars com
pelled to be ; many a mau worries about
a ghost that sever appears.
In a crowd the average individual is
small, and tho purpose of parties is to
take advantage of thii fact.
Ono year of a noble and generous life ii
worth a oentury of cowardly years and
self oares and over solicitude.
Boston uan inconsistent city, lier
Milk street is a whole mile away from
Water street. How are they to go to
gether *
Some men are with their character
much as they are with their Hiouey —
the less they have, the mora careful they
have to be.
» It is scarcely surprising (bat th« ago,
is so full of falsehood when sucb a vast)
number of words are oompelled to pass
through fal.io teeth.
The average life of an iceberg wbiefc
puts in an appearance on the Atlantic
coast is only twenty days. It wouldn't
pay to fit one up for a beer gadren.
A faro bank in St. Louis lost &13,-
UUO the ether night in three hours plac
ing. Through somo acciiicnt the play
ers were allowed one chance in twenty
to win.
Ao lowajuilge says of the prolixity
of the lawyers This State pays a quar
ter of a million of del tare annually for
unnecessary gab." That's getting oft'
pretty cheap, judge.
The editor who was asked by a Utshfut
subscriber if he could tellhioi "the first
step toward matrimony" and replied
"mis step," was either a punster or a
horrid old bachelor.
When you read of the shady groves
and .jlran dells find hidden waterfalls
and cool forests don't get anxioa*. Let
a dozen mosquitoes hop on to you and
you'll feel as if you were thore.
A Boston paper says Lene, the defaul
ter was in his old pew in Kxeter last
Sunday. When a Maseuchusetts man
has paid pew reut in advance nothing
but the walla of a penitentiary OMI keen
In in from getting the worth of hia
money
A conceited yoong country parson
walking home from church With one of
the young ladies of hie congregation,
said, in allusion to his rustic audience :
"This morning I preached to a contrac
tion of asses "That was why," ob.
served the lady, '-you called thetu
your beloved brethren,