VOLUME XIII.
Reporter and Post.
PI'BLnUKD WEEKLY AT
DANBURY, N. C.
PKPPER & SONS, Pubs. v Props
RATt» OF M( B* KIPTIU* ;
Cne Yaar, |»aoul>le In advance 51.J50
Six Month*, 73
KATE* OF A i> V r.K I'INI \U :
Ono Square lion lines or lex*) 1 lime ?! 00
For each additional liiMjrt.oii, flu
Contract* for longer time or more apace can be
iuh'lo in |iro|iortion to the above ritten.
Trun».ent atl\orti*er* will be exj»cctet| to remit
according to ttie»e rate* at the time they »oml
their fa*»r».
1.0c.tl Nrttlcenwlll hecharped3opercent.higher
thitn above ratea.
lluwiiieMß Card* will be liu»erted at Ten Dollar*
}>ei annum.
PROFKSSIOJVA I. C.lirvs.
A. J. IK>Vl>, J- w. lIKID
BO YD RE ID,
All oriiej'K-nt-1 jiiw
WB.NTWORTH, N. 0.
Practice in the Superior court ol
Stokes county.
hiOBEIITD. G IL. M Ell,
Attorney and Counsellor,
MT. AIRY, N. C.
Tract!its in the eour.s of >Surry, Sfok\«.
T ulkin anil any.
ir. F. aiJirEJi,
tfrrss YJS r-v? r- L.r ir,
MT. AillV, SI'KKY CO., N. C
Practices whm*v»\ liiAwrvicm .ire wanted j
11 BAI 'MO RE,
ATTORN EY AT LAW
Mr- Airy. N. C-
Social attcutiou gi\uii to the collection ot
claim*. I—lllin
B. F. KINC,
WITH
JOHNSON, SUTTON $ CO.,
f DRY GOODS,
N«». J7 ami 20 Mouth Sharp, Street,
r. W. JOIIKSON, U. M. KL'TUON
J. H. E. URABUK, O. J. JOHNSON.
P. DAT, , ALItEIIT JONES.
IQay J053.0©^
ii»amifaatnn»rs ot
BADIH.BRT.HAIIN! ss. rnM.XRt.TiII*NK
No. W. Raltiiuore street, Uattimoie, J/d.
W. A. Tuc'icer, If. (J. Sm th. H.s. Spragjfhu-
Tucker, Smith & Co-
Maiiufactitrhri> X* wholennle f»ealera in
IjIQOTS, CHOES, HATS AM) CAPs
Na.'J3o Baltimore Street. HaltiVi irr. J/d.
u. j. a- it. l:. ,
WITH
Henry Sonncborn V Co.,
WHOI,F.S.ILF. CLOTHIERS.
10 Aaitover St.. (lMßvrttnU,»i mun A Lombard Sta)
11 ALT IMO HE Ml).
U.SONNEBORN, 11. BUM LINE
WATXINS, W. S. ROBERTSON
U. L. COTTRELL, A. S. WAT KIN'S.
Watkins. Cottrell A Co..
Im|a»rt»'ra and Jobber* ot'
HAKDWARK.
1307 Main Street,
RICUMOKI>, VA.
Agents for Fairbank* Stainlatd St-alen, an
Anker Brand Bolting Cloth.
■S lejhfA Pu'iu Jf, L. U lVa!r
11. MILES,
WITH
STEPHEN PUTNE Y§ CO.,
IVlwlenole dmler. in
Boots, Shoes, and Trunks,
121U Main Street,
Sept. 8-Sl-om. lUVUMOSD, I'.l.
J. R ABROTT, Of N O ,
with
H I.\GO, EI.LRIT k Ckv .iP,
RICHMOND, VA.,
Wliolenle UvuiiTH in
BOOTS, SHOES, TRUNKS, ftC.
Prompt all.nlioo p*id to order*, .nil SMtiu-
Uclion puurniilwt.
Virginia State Prison Uoodt a tpeeiall\,
March, t>. iu
■OIWT W. roWKkH. HIHItH I). TA V 1.0 .
11 W. POWERS k CO.,
WHOLESALE DRUGGISTS,
Dealer, ill
PAIKTB, 01L8, DIEB, VAttMSIIKS,
French and Amerlcnn
WINDOW OLAbS, PUTTY, AC
MMOKINU ANI> L'HKWINU
CIGAItS, TOUAOCO A
1305 Main St., Bichmond, Va;
Au*.i.ttitn'.!J—
J. L. c. BIRD;
WITH
W. D. KYLE & Co.,
IKPCBTKRR AND JOBBRIIB OP
HARDWARE. Cutlery.
IRON, NAILS and CAURtAOF. GOODS
... :, 0: i
No. 9 Governor Street,
IUCUMOND.V^
Kaxt touae. A oertaln cure. N"t eanfnstve. 'i'hre#
iniititit*' imimeia In on# Good for Cold
Ui U>W IIMUI, H*»adm'hf>. Hay F«*ver, Jtc.
«—• "' l E"T"vassiai,-s^ f .
i>rii'ot iu i u I'l i iKiit ti.
4(l >plcl at Halelffh, inne 36th, IHSI.
Wc again congratulate the people of
North  "arolitia on the career of peace,
prosperity and good government on
which she entered after the inauguration
of a Democratic State administration
and which has beep unbroken for no
many years since ; upon the just and
impartial enforcement of the laws : upon
the efficiency of our common school sys
tem, and the great progress made in
popular eduoation ; aud upon the gener
al improvement und enterprise manifes
ted in every pjrtiou of the state. And
wc agniu challenge a oimwi* be
weun this state of things and the crimes,
outrages and scandals which attended
Republican usccudancy in our borders ;
and we pledge ourselves to exert in the
future, as we have done in ihe past, our
best effort* to promote ihe material in
terests of all sections of the State.
Affirming our adherence to Demo
cratic principles as heretofore enuncia
ted in the platforms of the party, it is
hereby
Resolved, That wo regard a free and
fair expression of the public will at the
ballotbox as the only sure means ot pre
serving our Irce American institutions,!
and that (he corrupt and corrupting use !
of Federal patronage, in influencing and
controlling elections is dangerous to the
liberties of tho State and the Union.
Resolved, That wc are iu favor of the
unconditional and immediate abolition
of the whole internal revenue system, |
as an intolerable burden, a standing
mcanco to the freedom of elections, and
a source of great aunoyance aud corrup
tion iu its practical operation.
Resolved, That uo government has a
right In burden ita people with taxes
beyond the amount required to pay its
necessary expeuses aud gradually extin
guish its pubh; debt. Ami that when
ever the revenues, however, derived,
exceed this amount, they should be re
duced so as to avoid a surplus in the
tnasury. We therefoio urge upon our
Senators and Representatives in Con
gress to exert themselves in favor of
such legislation as will secure this cud.
Resolved, that with respect, to the
tnrilf we reaffirm the life long and fun
damental principles of tho party as de
clared in the National Democratic plat
forms und tlmt the details of the meth
od by which the constitutional revenue
tariff shall be gradually reached, are
subjects which the party's representa
tives at thet'cdcrul capital must be trus
ted to adjust; but in our opioiou the
duties on foreign importations should be
levied for the production of public rev
enue, and the discrimination.- in its
adjustment should bo such us would
place the highest rules on luxuiics and
the lowest ou tho noccssaries of life,
distribute as equally as possible the
burdens of laxation and confer (he great
est good to the greatest number of the
American people.
Resolved , That the course of the Dem
ocratic party in furtherance of popular
education, by efficient public schools in
all sections, and the establishment, of
graded and normal schools in the larger
towns aud accessible centers, is a suffi
cient guarantee that wc favor the edu
cation of oil classes of our people and
we will promote and improve the pres
ent cducatioual advantages so far as it
can be done without burdening the peo
ple by excessive taxation.
And WIIERAB, 'I here is now more
than a hundred millions of dollars in
the treasury of the Uuiicd States wruug
from the pockets of the people by unjust
taxation on the part of (lie Republican
party ; therefore,
Revolved, That ve will accept such
distribution of said surplus revenues of
the governuiect for educational purpo
ses as may bo made by the Congress of
tho United States: provided it/ways, that
the sane stmll be disbursed by State
agents, and not accompanied bv objec
tionable features and embarrassing cou
ditious.
Resolved, That it is duo to the white
so eh- of out eastern counties, who have
couiu, erfully borne ther share of our
soni on burdens, that the present or
coue other oqually effective system of
do.nty government shall be maintain
ud
Resolved That in view of the existing
and increasing harmony and kindly feel
ing botwoen tne two races in this State,
and a similar condition of things which
we believe to exist generally in other
Southern Status, we deprecate the at
tempt of the Republican party, in iu
recent platform at Cbioago, to force
civil rights as a living issue, and wo de
nounce it as u fire brand and a hypo
critical expression of interest iu the
black race, a wanton insult to the whites
of theSoutb, and tending to stir up strife
I between the now friendly races.
DAN BURY, N. C., THURSDAY, OCTOIIER 2, 1884.
The Democratic Ticket.
FOll PRESIDENT!
G-ROVER CLEVELAND,
Of Ni:\V YOltK.
FOR VICE-PRKSf DENT •
THOS. A. HENDRICKS,
OF INDIANA.
Kt.BCTORS AT I.AHOK:
\VM. H. KLTOHKN. ■
JOHN N. STAPLES.
FOR KLK.CTOII—FIFTH DISTRICT:
RrtUEKT B. GLENN,
M OF STOKES.
TpST-
STATE TICKET.
FOR OOVI.RNOR:
ALFRED M. SCALES,
OF oriLFimi).
VOR I.IKUTKNANT QOVICRNOR:
CHARLES M. STEADMAN,
OF NEW lIA NOVKIt.
SKI ItKTAUV OF STATU:
WILUAM L. SAUNDERS,
OF WAKE.
FOR ATTORNKV OKNEKAL:
THKODORK F. DAVIDSON,
OF UI'SCOMIIK.
FOIt TUEA.SI'RKR:
DONALD W. BAIN,
OF WAKE.
FOR AUDITOR:
WILLIAM I'. ROBERTS,
OF GATES.
FOR ST'P'T RCM.lt' INSTRUCTION* .
S. M. FINGER,
OF CATAWBA.
FOR SI PREMK CO(*RT.TUDriK:
AUGUSTUS S. MERRIMON,
OF WAKE.
FOR CONORCM—FIFTH DISTRICT:
JAMES W. REID,
Of Rot; KINO HAM.
county Ticket.
>'..r thr Senate—,l. C. Nt XTo".
Far llirjf RrprtirntatiP'i —l. I . I'HII.t.IPS.
For Iknf-K. I. DAI/KIX.
For Hr, n ,irr »/ li.nl>.-. 1. 11. 11 MITCHKI.I..
Far Sorrier— (llHKON tIKOUOK.
F.n■ Cor-nrr— .JOHN" COItROI.I..
'J'ho daily pay mil of the largest poin
ting office iu tho world, tho United
States Government Printing Office, is
So.OOO.
The culturo of tobocco is extending
in North Carolina. Last year seven
acres were planted in Clevelaud, this
year tho area is five hundred acres.
A swariu of bees have colonized m
the mummy of an ox that has iain oil
the alkali flat, near Dayton, Nevada,
for two years or so, and the interior of
the carcass is full of honey. Tho skin
is intact over the whole skeleton and is
rigid as iron. The boes pass in and
out at the mouth of the animal.
Tho Liquor shops must bo closed.
See. 1,079 Code, inukes it "unlawful
for any person to sell or to give away,
either directly or indirectly, any spirit
uous liquors, wiuc or bitfeis containing
alcohol, within two miles ot any place
at which political publio speaking shall
be advertised to take place, and does
take place." Tho penalty is §20.00
fine and twenty days imprisonment.
Tbe other night one of thoso snapper
bugs flew in at the open window and lit
on tho ear of a gentleman who was
asleep. The bug entered the car and
commenced his snapping and tearing at
the delicate lining of tho oar with i's
claws. The snapping sounded liko the
beating of a thousand slcdgo-hanimers
aud tho clawing caused almost insup
portable pain. Tho bug was too far in
to be pulled out by tbe fingers, and tho
gentleman arose and his wife triod in
vain to get it out witti a needle and a
hairpin. At last be rasolved to go to a
doctor, and while dressing himself bis
wife happened to think of the attraction
light had for bugs and moths. Bbe
placed tbe lamp near the ear, and in
less than half a minute the bug crawled
nut backward with the blood oozing from
I the ear.
Ulalnclxm.
Grcomdajro Patriot.
Four years ago u buok wn«
contuining ihe savings of (iarliilil It
was replele w'th loftly sciitimoiit and j
apt maxims, its ouly fault wa. a too
great tendency to abstractions. If the |
Republican managers pmpose to issue
a book containing tho NiyingH of .lames 1
Li. I>lnii,e it will not be open to ll,e |
■■eiuie criticisms. Blame j;eis right
down to business. lie is So tbe point.
Here, for instance, are a few of the sig
nificant utterances tiiat M'gUt be incor
porated ■
"Born this letter."
"I sen various channels in winch I
call bp useful. - '
"I will sacrifice a good deal to get i
settlement.".
"I have endeavored m writing not to
be indelicate."
"I foci that I shall not prove a dead- j
head iu this enterprise."
'•lt will be in my power to 'cast j
an aiii bur to windward' in your be
linlt."
• You can 101 l i'ald.vell that with
rtit knowing it 1 did liiai a great fa- !
vor."
"No one will ever know from me
that I have disposed of a single dollar
iu Maine. '
"It will be to some extent a matter'
of favoritism us to win. gets the banks in I
the several localities "
: 'I do not wish to seem importunate
and troublesome, but it you knew the
ugouies I have sufierod iu this matter
during the past six mouths you Wuuld
pity me, 1 mil sure, and uia'he great ef
forts lo relievo me. I'ray lot me know
«liut I am to expect."
| in I in ■!» l uf.Varili Car
olinn klunexty
From a private letter to the editor
we make the following extract:
Lot ins add a wind for General
Scales. I have known him intimately
for years. N.i cleaner, purer man, per
sonally md po'itically has ever been
before the people of North Carolina.
There is not a spot or stain upon his
garments, but lie is the model, hon
est, upright christian gentleman. More
over without being brilliant he seems to
have been born wise, lie seems to know
intuitively how to act and how to vote
on all matters affecting the public good.
In a long congressional career he has
not made a single mistake. \V iih the
same cool ju guicnt and intuitive wisdom
lie will luako the beat possible Governor.
He is eminently Not ill Carolinian, tho
best type and rcprcsentativs of the na
tive production. An euiboJiinent of
North Carolina honesty and intelligence
so striking as to bo recognised by tbe
average citizen anywhere; u nearer ap
proatli to the level of the intelligent
mufses of our people than any public
inua wc have had for years. If ho does
not get a larger vote, especially, among
the quiet thoughtful people than auy
c.aidii'u.e has done for years, I shall be
greatly disappointed.
The Only Issue In Slglil.
Harper* Weekly.
Mr. Blaine's resolute attempt to force
a debate upon the tariff in order to
evade discussion of his own conduct in
mixing with Senator llawley calls bis
public and private business will not avail
to turn public attention from that vital
ly important inquiry. Tkere are thou
sands of Repuublican Protectionists
wbo are vot not willing to vote for a
candidate with Mr. Blaine's official re
cord. With multitudes of Republicans
the issue of official honor aud integrity
takes precedence of all other issues, and
they will support Mr. Cleveland as tbe
oandidato whose oourago and firmness
will make his unstained official fidelity
effective fur honest administration.
Suoh Republicans must bear as they
can the terrible charge of Phariseeism
with which they are overwhelmed be
cause they intcud to vote for a perfectly
trustworthy candidate for the presi
dency.
A man that neeJ forty cents worth
of whiskey to give him an appetite for
a fifteen cent dinuot always has tbe
dyspepsia.
The old liolluvt-L,og Joke.
Tolti bv Gen. Sc.ikx at Lenoir.
"Tell these people what you are,"
ibe would say. But no answer came.
I "Tell them if you are a Liberal, a Dem
ocrat, or a Rcpublicau.'" But no un-
I swur. "Tell them if yo.i are iu favor of
1 civil rights. Tell these colored people
| if you didn't vote against their testifying
iin courts; of justice. Tell ihe c people
if you didn't vote against the "stiblish
iiieut of Normal Schools und agaiust the
Morgantou Insane Asyluui—that home
of God's unfortunate people. No, fel
low-citizeus, the only thing that you
ckii get bitn to Kay is, that lie is ; old
j Vo-.k." Yes, and he is old York, with
i political sius enough to bury hiiu so
| deep that he can never be resurrected.
| Why, his political position reminds me
l of an old joku I used to tell !wcuiy
i years ago. A man had an old sow that
| eoofiou' dto get into his com field. lie
j never could ascertain how she managed
j to get ill, until one day he watc'.ied ber
i and saw that she came through a erook-
I od hollow log 'hat had fullen across tbe
j fence. Sho would go into the hollow
| lug outside tbe field, go through it and
come out in the field. 'So,' lie says,
j 'ncyer mind old lady, I'll tool you.' lie
turns tbe log around, putting the crook
ed part inside the field and both ends
outside. Tbe old sow gets hungry,
comes up to her log, goes through, luukii
| around and finds that she is still out oi'
: the field. She goes through again with
! the same result. Tbe log has been
' turned on York. He goes through to
find that instead of being inside the
| party he is outside, and on the 4th of
I November be won't know that be na«
I ever boon in the II Id at all."
InMiort." Itrace up''
"Young men, yon'aro tho architects
if your own fortunes, rely on your own
stieng.ii of body a id soul. Take for your
star self reliance. lucribe ou your
banner, 'Duck is a foot, Pluck
is a hero. Don't take too much advise,
keep at the helm and steer your own
ship, and remember that tbe art of
commanding is to take a fair share of
the work. Think well of yourself.
Strike out. Assumo your own position.
Put potatoes in a oart go over a rough
road and small oues go to 'die bottom.
Rise above the envious and the jealous.
l''irc above the mark you intend to bit.
Kncrgy, invincible determination; with
a right motive, arc the leavers that
move the world. I)on,t swear. Don't
deceive. Dou't read novels. Don't marry
until yoy can support a wife. Bo civil.
Read the papers. Advertise your
business. MuKo money and do good
with it. Love your God aud fellow tucn
Love truth aud virtue. Love your coun
try and obey its laws.
Why l.nbor und Cupltul C'uii'l
Unite.
The coming question is how to di
vidu the profits fairly beteen labor and
- capital and give each their propei share.
Unfortunately, lubor cannot share loss
es. 1 f Soil,ooo is made one vear labor
steps iu for its share. If tbe same is
Idst next year, oapital must sustain the
loss, as labor spent what it made the
previous year and cunnot refund what
it has not got. When labor gets fore
handed enough to make a fair deal on
losses, as well as profits, does not labor
then become a capitalist ? Or, how much
must a man be worth before lie can be
known as a capitalist ! Where is tbe di
viding line'— .life nj Steel.
If KesiU I'r.ilerstuiiilliiulj
Mr. Blaine tells the reporter of the
' j Keneboc Journal that his only desire
| is that every voter iu tho United States
j may "read tho letters for himself tnd
'rot form his judgment from editorial
j misrepresentation in partisan jour
nals."
If every voter in the Uuited States
would read those letters understanding-
I ly Mr. Blaine would not receive tbe
eloctorial vote of a single State.
A Campaiun Joke.—A prominent
gentleman just from the western part of
tbe State, who has heard the discussion
between tbe Gubernatorial candidates,
says that Dr. York is making a most ef
fective canvass, and that his speeobes
aro producing a most formidable im
pression.—JVorth Stale.
i "Dear me !" said a lady the other
• evening, "bow the china crave ir grow
ing' Here's a New York club tbat is
paying $3,000 for a pitcher."
Something new and I'hcl'ul.
Drying fruit a pleasure instead of
drudgery. No trouble to dry fruit with
my l'atcut, Solar, Fruit aud Yegetable
Dryer. It dries rapidly, on both side
alike, and all over at tho same tiuia
It has no equal for drying bright fruit
as there is no scorching or smoking the
tiuit, no sticking, no expense fur wood
or water, uo waste, us it dries all the
juices and sugary matter in tbe fruit. It
it not only the best drier for drying
peaches aud upplcs, but also fur all the
small fruits, sweet potatoes, snap beans,
or anything that you wish to dry quick
in the sun, f j>ruuiiijr*3»vi!f> of tobacco
&c., as any intelligent person will know
at once who sees it. It is made of thin
muslin cloth, such as is used for cover
ing plant beds, stretched over a light
frame made of laths, with a tin reflector
so arranged as to throw tho rays of tho
sun over the cloth. The material for
making one dryer inches w ide and 10
feet long costs less than one dollar and
will weigh about 28 lbs. Anybody that
has seen one, or wish my printed in
structions how to make, use &0., cau
make it in a few hours. Three dryers
is about as many as an ordinary family
can mauago. The combined heat of
the sun and reflecti.r causes a contin
ual upward current of air 10 draw up
through the cloth which causes the fruit
lo dry rapidly. the drier in the
shade, place the fruit on tbe cloth and
then set it out in the sun, square with
tho rays, then m about two hours lift
one end around so as to bring it square
with tbe sun is all you have to do until
the fruit is dry. It will dry sliced fruit
in übout half a day. Fruit dried on
the übove dryer for making pies &c\
requires no cooking or slewing, simply
cover the fruit you wfsh to use with
boiliug water, just enough lo cover it,
and let it stand 30 or 40 minutes, then
put the water with the fruit into your
pie, sweeten and flour to taste aud baked
and you will find it equal to green fruit
pie in flavor and color, and I think
better than when the fruit is put uh
in cans. The above dryer and part
therof is fully covered by Letters Patent
either with or without tbe reflector, and
eny infringements upon the same will be
pans ecuted to the full extent of tho law
Any one sending moan order wit
two dollars and 12 cents 1 will send him
by registered letter a farm right to make
ae many dryers as bo wants to use at
bis place of residence only, with printed
instructions bow to make, use, kv., or
five farm rights for ten dollars. Write
name. Post office, County and Stato
plain. All orders promptly filled. Ad
dress Riloy F. l'etrce Gormanton,
Stokes co, N. C.
PREMIUMS.
The General Committee on tha coun
ty exhibit offer the following premiums
for the fullowing articles ot farm pro
ducts of Stokos county, to be delivered
to the committee at Danbury on or
before the 10th day of September tirxt.
Samples of tobaccu may be delivered up
to the loth of September. The com
mittee to award the premiums will bt
apjoinled by tho general committee.
All premiums will be paid in money
Those products not getting a premium
will belong lo the county and will be
sold for the benefit of tho exhibit :
Ist. Best 4 bushel while wheat, $3.00
2nd. Second best i bushel white
wheat, 2.00
3rd. Thud best 1 bushel white
wlieut, 1 00
4tb. Best 4 bushel red wheat, 3.00
oth. Second best 4 bushel red
wheat, 2.00
tilh. Third best 4 bushel red
wheat, 1.00
TOBACCO.
Ist best quality of fine yellow
wrappers, 2 lbs , SIO.OO
2nd best quality of mahogany
wrappers, 2 lbs. 6.00
3rd best quality of smokers, 2
lbs. 4 00
CORN.
Ist best 4 bushel white bread corn 2.00
2nd best 4 bushel corn, 1.00
OATS.
Best 4 bushel of winter oats, 1.50
Best 4 bushel spring oats, 1.50
POTATOES.
Best 4 bushel Early Rose potatoes 2.00
Best 4 bushel Peerless potatoes 2.00
Best t bushel of any other kind of
Irish potatoes, 1.50
Best 4 bushel sweet potatoes, 2.00
N. M. Pepper, Chairman.
S. B. Taylor, Secretary.
Kleqanck and Purity. —Ladies
who appreciate elegance and purity are
using Parker's Hair Balsam. It is tbo
best article sold for restoring gray hair
its orig'nal color, beauty aud lustre.
NO. 16
The FHruier.
It does one's heart-good, says an ex
change, to see a merry roundfaced farm
j er. So independent and yet so free from
vanity and pride; so industrious; so pa
| ticot and persevering iu bis calling, and
) yet so kind, Bociable and obliging.
Tbere arc a thousand nolle traits about
i his character. Eat and driuk with biin
and he won't Hit a murk on you, and
| sweat it out of you with double coui
! pound interest, as some people 1 know
| will; you arc welcome. He will do you
a kindness wihout expecting a return
byway of compensation—it is not so
with everybody. lie is usually more
I honest and sincere, less disposed to deal
in low and under-handed cunning than
many I could name. lie gives to soci-
I ety its best support, its firmest pillar
that supports the edifice of govciment
' lie is the lord of nature. Look at him
iu liis liomespu:i and gray; [laugh at him
'ifyou will but believe lis can laugh
| back if lie pleases.
tluiv to Keep Healthy.
Never begin a dinner with pie.
i Never sleep in your overshoes.
Never ride a thin horse bareback,
i Never walk fifteen miles before break
j last.
! Never carry a barrel of potatoes OB
| yonr head.
Never put your feet in the firo to warm
i I heui.
Never swallow your food before you
j chew it.
Never jump sut of the window for a
! short cut.
Never drink more than you can carry
' comfortably.
Never yivc a tramp your summer
| clothing in the winter.
Never jump more than ten feet to
j catch a ferryboat.
1 Never s'.t by a red hot stove with a
! sealskin cup or ulster on.
i Never thrust your knife more than
! half way down your throat.
! Never kick an infuriated bull-dog
when you have slippers on.
Never let your clothes dry on you
when you are caught in 'he rain.
Never walk into a parlor at a recep
tion and put your feet on tho mantel
piece. It will cause the blood to run
to your head.
A Partial Lilt.
The following has been published as
a partial list of the article) of nupeach
| ment against the Republican party :
The Credit Mobilier swindle.
The Boss Shepherd ring frauds.
The sale burglary iuiquity.
The whiskey frauds.
The Freedman's bank swindle,
i The lielknap impeachment.
| The naval frauds,
j The Sanborn frauds.
1 The Indian bureau frauds.
Tiie Pension bureau frauds.
The ISlaek Friday rascality.
The theft of the presidency in 76.
| Tho Indian bribery in 1880.
j The Blaine speakership jobbery.
The starroute frauds.
1 lie list includes only the counts re-
Ineling to officials fraud aud public scan
, dal.
A Terrible Revenge.
i ''Smith has been outrageously sland
ered by the Daily Uuest."
I 'ls that so !"
"Yes, indeed. The infamous sheet
called him a liar and a political cut
throat."
j "Yon don't, say so?"
"That's not all. It insinuates that be
would sell himself for ten ceuts and
' ehent llie man who bought hun."
"Well, what has he done about it?"
" Done' Great Cwsar ! What could
Ihe do* lie has stopped his paper."—
• Grap Ate.
"May 1 have the pleasure of seeing
you home ?" ho bashfully asked. "Cer
tainly," she graciously replied. 'There
is a nigh bill just in front of the bouse
or, if you prefer it, vou can climb a big
tree in the cow lot. (Jo anywhere you
can get a fl;ood view."
It is not strange how some men can
tell how every Cburch and Sunday
School should be run, and how every
Christian should live and yet never
take a step towards Ileaven them
selves.
Darwin "avs there is a living princi
ple in fruit. We suppose he refer* to
j the worm.
The tallow-dip swallows of Rus
sia are what ought be oalled light M
j ters.