VOLUME XIV.
Reporter and Post.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY AT
DANBURY. N. C.
PJfiPPBB k SONS, Pubs. * Prop#
RAT KM »r lIiWM UIPTIOX J
CBO Your, paoabl* in odvanco,
Bit Month*, 16
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*Yrot>»>iw orirt' —r will bo expected to remit
aecorriißf to the— rates at tho time tboy oowl
tfeetr rarer*.
Local Notices will bo charged W per cent, higher
thau above ratOM.
Ba«iije«» Oarde will bo ißOOrted at Ton Dollar*
per aoBBB.
iMH>'iiß"o«a -Lg
PROFESSIONAL C.IROS.
ROBE At D. GllMEll,
Attorney and Counsellor,
MT. AIRY, N. C.
Practices In the eourts of Surry, Stokes,
Tadkin anil Alleghany.
~ IT. F. CARTER,
jiTTQB#MT'aF-la W.
MT. AntY, SUKRY CO., N. (J
Practices wherever hiasc.rvlees are wanted
R. IZHA YMORE,
ATTORN EY-AT LAW
Mt Airy. N. O-
Special attention given to the collection ol
claims. I—l*m
B. F. KING,
WITH
JOHNSON, SUTTON $ C(K
DRY GOODS,
MM. T7 and 3 S.uth Sharp, Stmt,
r. w. jonrso*, R m. SKTCOH.
J. D. R. ORADBE, O. J. JOUNSON.
f. DAT, ALBERT JONES.
X3ay 4&s Jorxom*
manufacturers of
B AUDI.EKY,H AKNKSV*, COLI.AHS.TUt'NR
Ho. S3« Xf. Baltimore *treet, l!altliuoro« IM.
yt. A. Tucker, 11. C.snutli, I) 8 MpraggltM
Tucker, Smitli Co.,
ManoiACtufUT* ST -rhnh«m!o in
BOOTS, SHOES, HATS AND CAPS.
Ko. 300 Baltimore Street, Baltimore, J/d.
li. J. it Hm K. BEST,
WITH
Henry Sonneborn § Co.,
WHOLESALE CLOTHIERS.
m Aaitover St., (hotweeaOorßtaii «l Lombard Bt*)
BALTIMORE Ml>-
■ . BONBEBOKN, B. BLIMUNS
o WATKIHS W. S ROBERTSON
O I. COTTRKt.L, A. «. WATKINS.
Watkins- Cottrell & Co.>
Importer* an«l Jobberf of
HAHDW ARE.
1307 Main Street,
RICHMOND, VA.
Atenta for Fairbanks KtiiiiOant Btale», an
Aokor Brand Bolting Cloth.
MUf Am Putney, 11
ir. H. MILES,
WITH
STEPHEN PU WE Y$ CO.
Wholesale dealers in
Boots, Shoes, and Trunks,
1219 Main Street,
Mtpt. 8-81-dm. RICHMOND, VA.
J. ft. ABBOTT, OF N 0.,
with
WIR6O, ELLETT & CRIMP,
RICHMOND, VA.,
Wholesale Dealers ia
BOOTH, SHOES, THUWKB, AC.
f rompt Btteatioa paid to orders, and aalis
hetiea (aarutwd.
pm~ r,ry»u> Suit Prism Go*is a , penally
March, «. m
MIIBT W. fOWitia lOOAE D. TATtO .
E W. POWBRB A CO.,
WHOLS SALS DRCOGJSTS,
Dealers In
FHITI, OILS, DTES, TARNISH SB,
Tranoh and American
WXBDOW OLAUS, PUTTY, *C
SMOKING AND CHEWING
OIOARS, TOBACCO A BPBCIALTT
ISO* Main St., Riobmond, V
AVSiWaM-
J. L. CTbird,
, WITH
W. D. KYLE & Co.,
IBPCBTKBB ABD JOBBERS OF
HARDWARE. Cutlery,
jRON, NAILS and CABHIAOR GOODS
No. 9 OoT«rnor Street,
KICHMOND.VA.
Uracil". l*a«li.™». M;.y Fa-'.r. * £ -
fngaßßmaHsnßi
mil IHIH AUiyifAii*. M
BaetCooitta'irrup. TMIMROod. gf
Uee in Ume. Hold by gruff UtaKf
SUBSCRIBE FOR
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It is your duty to aid your county
paper. Wo propose publishing a good
family paper, and solicit from our
friends and from tho Democratic party
in Stokes and adjoining couutic* a li
beral support. Make up clubs for ua.
Now go to work, and aid an enterprise
devoted to your best interests. Head
the following
NOTICES OK THE I'ItESS ;
The REPORTER AND POST is sound in
policy and polities, and dodorve.s a libe
ral support.— Reidsvitle Weekly.
Tho Daubury REPORTER AND POST
begins its thirteenth year. It is a good
paper and deserves tu live loug and live
well.— Daily Workman.
Tho Daubury REPORTER AND POST
celebrates its twelfth anniversary, aud
with pardonable pride refers to its suc
cess, which it deserves.—JVetcv and Ob
server.
Tbe Danbury REPORTER AND POST
is twelve years old. It is a good paper
and should be well patronized by the
people of Stokes. It certainly deserves
it.- Salem Press.
For twelve long years the Daubury
REPORTER AND I'OHT has been rougliiug
it, and still manages to ride tho waves
of the journalistic sea. We hope that
it will have plain sailing after awhile.
Lexington Dispatch.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has just passed its 12th anniversary »nd
under the efficient management of broth
er Duggms cannot fail to iucroase in
popularity with tho people of Siokes and
adjoining counties.— Winston Sentinel.
m/j'he editorials on political topics are
timely and to the point, and the general
amke up of every page shows plainly
the exercise of mueh care aud pains
taking. Long may it live and flourish
under the present management.—Moun
tain Voice.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has entered the thirteenth year of its ex
istence, and we congratulate it upon tho
prosperity that is manifested through its
columns. To us it is more than an ac
quaintance, and we regard it almost as a
kinsman. — Leaksvitle Gazette.
The Daubury REPORTER AND POST
last week eelcbrated its twelfth anniver
sary. It is a strong and reliable paper
editorially, it is a good local and gener
al newspaper and in all rospects a credit
to its town and section. It ought to be
well patronised.— Statesville Landmark.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has just entered its 18th year. Wo wero
one of the crew that launched tho RE
PORTER, and feel a d :op iutorest in its
welfare, and hope that she may drift ou
ward with a clear sky and a smooth sur
faoe for as fcany more yean.— Cttvell
A'e\os.
The Danbury REPORTER AND POST
has celebrated iu 12th anniversary. Tbe
paper is sound in polioy and politics,
and deserves tbo hearty support of the
people of Stokes. It is au excellent
weekly and we hope to see it flourish in
tbe future as nover bofore.— Winston
Leader.
Tbo Danbury REPORTER AND POST
came out last week with a long editorial,
entitled, "Our Twclth Anniversary 'I
and reviews its past history in a very
entertaining way. Qo on Bro, Pepper
in your good work; you got up one of if
not tbe best country paper in North
Carolina.— Kernersville JVctvs.
That valued exchange, publishod in
Danbury, N. C., tho REPORTER AND
POST, has entered upon its L'ith anni
versary. Long may it live to call tho
attention of the outside world to a coun
ty which is as rioh, wo suppose, in min
erals as any in tbu State of North t'ar
oliua, and to battlo for correct pditical
measures. -Dunville Times.
'•NOTHING SUCCEEDS LIKE SUCCESS."
DANBURY, N. C„ THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1886
A I'tMllt TOiJU NAN TO HH OIKI,
A jcw»l rare are you, dear Anne,
But can you use the frying pun ?
Or K«t a meal for a lump y man ?
Ob, 1 will weil you if you can,
Sweet Anno!
Tour dainty fingers wield a fan,
But can they wash a pot or pan ?
Sweep, bake and brew ? Oh, if they can,
1 aui, iu truth, the very man,
* H'.»«*t Anne 1 '
Tou work in Kensington, fair Anue,
Play, sing and dance, but if you can
Well mend my socks, none other than
Myself can worship like this nutu t
Sweet Anne!
Fair and False.
The postman Lad just gone, and Miss
Kdith stood under tbe ball chandelier,
one band pressed lightly against her
soft, brown Lang try bangs, and tho
other holding two letters.
One of the envelopes was large and
yellow and the otber smaller and creamy
white.
Tbe light from the chandelier was
rather dim, aud she found it a difficult
rnattor to decipher the superscriptions.
However, she soon discovered that
tbe white one bad 'Miss Kdith M. Ward'
written on it, in a bold, rather angular
band.
She flipped it into her pocket with a
subdued, alert air of being watched,
which was comical because it was so en
tirely unnecessary.
The letter was from Jack Field, and
everyooo in her -get' know be was hot
lover. She had seen tho postman come
up the steps, and bad 11 own to the door
test any one should forestall her.
Kdith found tbo writing ou tho other
harder to make out. It was iu a
oramped, queer band, by no means leg
ible.
TiiS foreign stamp in the corner aided
her a little.
Evidently the sight of this letter
pleased her almost as much as tbe othor
bad done.
'As it is from Norway,' she said to
herself, 'I hope sister Anna is confirmed
at last, and is couiiug to America to
make Johanne happy.'
Johanno Knudstatter was sitting in
the kitchen, paring apples and singing
in a low key to herself.
The air was a Norse national hymn—
iodocd, you never could have caught
Johanne trying to siug anything that
was not Norwegiau. lici love of coun
try was a sort of religion with her, and
her love for hor sister was very much
like it, though far above it in degree.—
Everything connocted with Norway was
right, and sister Anna, too, could do no
wrong.
Johanne was not pretty. Ilor thick,
bore arms were rough and ungraceful,
and her face was rod from oonstaut and
close acquaintance with the kitchen firos.
Hor cheek bones were high, and her
coarse, scant locks wero of a nodescript
hue. But she bad beautiful eyes—
larjo and gray, with dark, long lashes.
1 0/ l, jYorge er mit Hjm !' (Ob, Nor
way is my home !) Johanne was singing
when Edith stepped into the kitchen,
the yellow envelope snugly stowed away
in her pocket.
■l've gat something for you, Toban
ne,' she said, ber browu eyes shining
with pleased anticipation. 'Guess what
it is.'
Jobanne laid down ber knife and ap
ple, and assumed an exaggerated ex
pression of thoughtfulnoss. She purs
ed up her mouth, she closed ber eyes for
a moment, and even folded ber bauds.
'lt is a—a kitten. Miss Edit ?' she
asked, with a puzzled air.
Edith laughed.
'No, you foolish Johanne, it isn't a
kitten ! What should Ibe giving you
a kitten for * Ilere ; you'll never guess
it, it's a lettor from Norway.'
Jobanne's oyes opened liko a flash.
•A letter ! Oh, gif 'ini to too, Miss
Idit"
With fingers that trembled she took
a small pair of scissors from her pockot
and cut the end uf tho envelope. Her
hands trembled even more when she
read the letter.
When she had finished she heaved a
deep sigh and her gray eyes wero illu
mined s
'Oh, Miss Edit' dis letter is from my
pastor, au' ni) sister Anna was confnin
ert, an' she stood high and she is OB tho
way bcre Oh, she will be here to
morrow !'
'And she will be my maid !' cried
Edith, with suddon inspiration, she was
no less excited than Johanne. 'You
cau have her near you always then, Jo
hanne.'
'Oh, Gud is goot—Gud is goot!'
said J obanne, tbe warm tears coursing
dowa her cheeks. 'l'm s,> glad I send
her do money, Miss Edit, do do pastor
ho says she can no coino till she be coii
firmcrt. Dat seem pretty long, Miss
Edit, but now she will be here an' I
ver' glad all day. She bat no faddcr
1 nor modder, Miss Edit, only me, an' she
inua' stay in de pastor's li"use till sho
be big enough to conic to mo. She can
spe'k some Engleak, ttt> fx,",if Icarra it
dere.'
Edith bad heard the whole story often
before, tyit she listened with tears of
sympathy shining on her brown la9hes.
'Oh, she is so ver' pretty, Miss Edit!
—nut hair yu6t like gold or de sun
shine, an' cheeks like a rose, an' eyes—
oh, must prettier dan de sky in de bim
mcl! Ak ! I never seed no prettier
girls dan she, iu de riches houses.'
Mero love made Johanno eloquent.
Edith could not help wonder if it was
her love that made sister Anna beauti
ful, too.
'Hans vill be glad to hear the news,
an' soon vo can git married, w'en vo
safe a little more money, an' sister Anna
can lif mit us. Akve vill be so glad
all tbe time!'
Hans Stecn was tbo gardener, and
Johanno and ho wero engaged to be
married. They had lived in the same
parish, and had known each other since
childhood.
lie was a stolid, slow man with a
broad, emotionless face, and small, blue,
white-lashed eyes. Edith had often
declared her convictions he was unwor
thy of Johanno.
Mrs. Ward did not exactly approve
the plan of taking Anna Knudstatter
as a maid, but was won over at last;
and Anna's position was secure when
sho arrived.
Edith had expected to sea a pretty,
rustle face, but was not prepared for
tho vision of loveliness that ihrfew itself
with the impetuousity of childhood, on
Johanuo's neck.
1 Anna was very plainly, though neat
ly clad, but ber garments were unno
ticed. Sho bad ono of the most ex
quisitely pure blonde faces Edith had
ever seen.
Tho small features wero perfect in
shupe; her eyes were like Johanue's, but
tbey bad the advantage of a beautiful
setting, and so appeared to be larger
and longci-lashcd, and a deeper gray.
In reality, they wore almost exactly tho
counterpart of Johanno'«.
'I shall be afraid to ask hor to dress
my hair,' said Edith, looking at Anna
with pleased wonder. 'She is the most
graceful crcaturo I evor saw. Is sho
not pcrfcotly lovely mamma!'
The happiest woman in Boston for at
least a month was Johanne Knudstatter.
She had a smile on her face froiu moru
iug till night, and she hummed 'A'orqc
er mit Hjevi' with redoubled cnthu-iasiu
and patriotism.
Anna too, seemed well pleased with
her now homo in America. Sho spoke
English almost as well as Jobanne bo
foro sho came, and she improved la
pidly.
Sho was a sourse of constant wonder
and lostbetic delight to hor young mis
tress—for Edith was nominally her
mistress, though the lines were not vory
tightly drawn.
Anna soon strutted about 1(I~*OIBO of
Edith's east off gowns, and aped
Edith's little airs to perfection. She
was Vanity personified, and had not
been in the house a week before she had
cut off ber smooth bands of golden hair
in oxact immitation of her mistress'
•bangs.'
Edith began to feel a little uncom
fortable. It was unpleasant to say tho
least, to bo copied it> everything, im
perfections and all—and imperfections
wete followod the moat easily and assid
uously.
Hans Stc en was much pleased with
Jobanne's sister, and spoke enthusias
tically—for him—of tbo time when they
would be married, and Anna should
live with them.
Edith received an invitation to visit
an aunt in a small Vermont village, a
few weeks after Annas arrival, and made
preparations for departure at once.
Anna was not needed, and would be
more useful at home, and so she was
left behind.
Tho pleas.ut visit extended over
two mouths, and as Edith cutcrcd her
home again, she felt as if she bad come
jto an atmospbero of brooding storm,
'lier mother met her at the door with au
anxious face.
"Mamma, what is the matter '''
Edith asked, in alarm, 'ls anyone ill
or dead ''
'lt is sointhing almost worse, Edith,'
said her mother, sadly. 'Anna was
mariied secretly to Hans Stecn, yes
terday, just a week before ho was to
havo married Johanno. Our poor Jo
hanne is almost broken-hearted to think
that her sister, whom she loved so dear
ly, and her own lover, could be so false
to her.'
'lt is shaameful!' crieJ Edith, indig
nantly, 'My poor Johanno!'
'Amm does not ev;n aeem to fjliio
that she has done anything out of the
way; always protesting tJat she likes
him, and had a right to do as she
pleased. She has not the slightest
idea of the meaning of duty, and don't
think she is at all cnpablo of under
standing tbe wealth of love Johanno
hnd lavished upon her ; and Hans is a
great deal worse. I would discharge
bim, but I know he oould not find an
other place easily, and Johanno begs
mo not to do so.'
Jouanno would not hear a word against
Sister Anna or Han9.
"Dey lofes each odder," she said,
with a wistful expression in her gray
eyes. 'Dat is dcir reason. Lofe is
everyt'ing—an all's fair in lofe, you
know.'
Poor Johanne !
THE VIRGINM CAMPAIGN.
Statesville Lamlmaik.
The Virginia campaign has grown
lively. An editor has been perforated
with bullets. John Ambler Smith, a
Republican, called Join S.Wise, the
Republican candidate for Governor, a
liar, on the train out from Washington,
the other night, aud Wiso hit him in tho
mouth and went on to his appointment.
There Smith arose and denounced him
as a liar and a coward, and the meeting
broke up in a row. Tho Republican
papers spell tho name of tho Democratic
candidate for Governor "f. lee," and
say if be had been named Fitzhugh
Smith he would nover have been heard
of outside hia township. The Demo
crats charge Wiso with being a horse
thief and tbe caudidate for Attorney
General on the ticket with him is ac
cused of stealing money. Tho Demo
erats aro donounecd as Bonrbous and
are charged with trying to get up another
war because they ride in processions at
the political meetings. There is every
thing in the campaign to remind ui of
the dear old timca in North Carolina.
Wise is making a regular Dr. York
campaign aud it promises to have a Dr.
York result.
AN UNUBUAIiVcENti IN A JU
RY BOX.
Alamance Gleaner.
It Is unusual to have a juror sit on
the trial of a matter in the Superior
oourt in a county of which he is not a
citizen; but such an unusual thing oc
curred here Tuesday. The jury had
been selected and empaneled, without it
having been observed that there was a
oitizen of another country in tho box.
During the progress of tho trial it was
observed that there wero only eleven
men in the box and the court oallcd a
hilt. This twelfth man had left his
seat and crouched down at the end of
th« box, a«d when bo was enquired of
' about himself tie said bo was from
Chatham, and by accident had takon a
seat in tho box (and had crowded out
one of the regular pannel), hot having
heard the ovidenco by agreement of
counsel, ho was sworn and ailowod to
ait on the;oase.
GRANT'S MOST*FROVIDENTIAL
EXPERIENCE.
Dr. Newman, spoaking of General
Grant's reverential spirit says :
"Once I asked him, I remember, what
bo considered his most providential ex
perience. Without hesitation be said :
'My resignation from tbe army iu 1X54.
I was then a captain. If 1 had staid in
the army I would have been still a cap
tain on frontier duty at the outbieak of
tho war and would have been deprived
of the right to offer m/ services volun
tarily to the country. That opportunity
shaped my future.'"
BULLY FORALEXANDRIA
l.paksvllle Echo.
Jno. S. Wise uildreised t!:e people of
Alexuiidria not niauy nights since. lie
was listened to with attention until he
coinmcntod to abuse Fitz Lee. The
crowd refused to hear any further.
"THE GAME OF i'KWKEIi."
Among tbe earlier contributions of
Josh liillings was a brief sketch on what
ho termed 'tho game of yewker,' ami it ,
will probably bo new to many readers,
as it i.s hare produced :
This ill-bred game ov kards is about
twenty-seven veais old. It was fust
diskovered by tbe dock hands ou a Lake
Erie steamboat, and was handed down
by thorn tew posterity iu awl lta juven
ile beauty.
It is generally played by four per
sons, and owes mutch ov its obsorbing
ness to the fakt that yu kau talk, and
drink, and cbaw and cheat wbilo the
game is advancing.
I have seen it played on the Hudson
River Railroad in smoking oars with
more immaculate skill than anywhore
else.
If yu play there yu will often bold a
a hand that will astonish yu, quite often
four queens, and a ten-spot, which will
inflame yu to bet seven or eight dollars
that it is a good hand tew play poker
with, but yu will be more astonisbod
when yu see the other feller's hand,
which invariably oonsisti of four kings
and a one-spot.
Yonker is a mollatto game, and don't
compare tew old sledge in majesty cnuy
more than the game of pins does to a
square church raffle.
I never play yewker.
I never would learn how, out ov prin
ciple.
I was originally croatcd cluss tew tbe
Conncktikut line, in Nu England, where
the game ov seven up or old sledge was
botn, and exists now in awl its pristine
virginity.
1 play old sledge tew this day, in its
natitT fierceness.
Hut I won't play enney game, if I
know iny eharakter, where a jack will
take an ace, and a ton-spot won't oount
game.
I won't play no such kind of game,
j out ov rcspekt tew old Counektikut, my
natiff place.
LOOKING AHEAD.
One mild day, during the past win
ter, an old darkey walked into a store,
in a small town in North Carolina, and
said ho wanted to look at some horse
collars. The cleik showed hiui sever
al kinds, telling hun the prices, and
expatiated at considerable length ou
their quality and cheapness, is the
practiced salosmau knows so well how
to do. After sometime, as the old man
did not seem to bo in any particular
hurry about making a scloction, the
clerk who had pretty well exhausted
bis stock of talk, asked him if his horso
was uoar by, remarking that it would
be better to briug him down to the store
as ho could give him a collar that
would lit him more easily if bo were
there.
"Well, you seo, boss," said the dar
key, "I ain't jist got a hoss yit, but I
'lows to git one ncx' spring if I kin
find anybody to stan' my s'ourity, and
jist tho't I d look roun' and seo whar I
cud git a collar, so I'd know where to
cum when I got my hoss. I'll cum
'roun' again in do spring,' and be saun
tered off.
PURE PATRIOTISM.
'No. gentlemen,' said a patnotio citi
zen, 'I aiu uot personally ambitious. 1
am only ambitious for my country's
good 1 want to see her occupy that
position among the nation* of the world
to which her greatness eotitlos her.—
And,' he added rather weakly, 'if I am
fortunate enough to obtain what I seek.
1 pledge myself to do all 1 can in that
direction.'
'Do you understand,' ho was asked a
little later, 'that there ia no salary at
tached to the office to which you as
piro V
'No what!'
'No salary ; not a cent.'
'Then tho office can go to thunder !'
said the patriot.
GATHERING MUSHROOMS.
He—Oh ! 1 sny, sis, here's a whop
ping toadstool.
She—How can you tell a mushroom
from a toadstool, dear 1
He—Eat it. If you live it's a musb
: room, if you die it's a toadstool.
Iln i« n ni-an fa '. r win will paiiit
l the top it the g»rdnr r *U«- oviry nveuing
i and buj fresh bulldogs as fa.it as they
oome along.
Subscribe for your county paper.
NO. 18.
SlHtLli BITE*.
Should a kite be umde of fly-pa
per.
The cup that inebriate* bat don't
cliocr—Hiccup.
'Stuff a cold and starve a feyer.'—
Tho ricb are cold.
Lore thyself last. In other word*
save the best for the last.
'Revolt when happy has another
name.' Mugwump coalition.
. There are 240 bones w a man. Mam
compares poorly with a a bad.
■All I want is jusjice,' said the tramp.
'Three months,' raid the justi-io.
A little girl described nervousness as
"just being ID a hurry all over."
A woman may work from sun to sun.
Hut a collectors work is always don.
The most striking thing in the way
of brouiu mantel ornaments—A olook.
Nevor 'give the devil his doa.' 'Self
preservation is the first law of nature.'
Never look a gift horse in the moath,
and never look a gifted niule in the
heels.
Pretty is as pretty does. And in
this section she docs pretty maoh as aha
pleases.
'There are daggers in some men's
smiles.' The revised edition baa it
'snakes.'
"What causes pain l " asks an ex
change. It is the boy's mother very
often.
Consistency is a jewel, bat we have
seen jewels that only attained the con
sistency of [taste.
'Make virtue of necessity.' Many
folks do, and get their entire stock of
virtue in this way.
'Better too soon than late.* Thi»
doos not apply to bridegrooms. 'Bet
ter late than never.'
Money makes the mare go, but not
half so fast as the mare sometimes
makes tho money go.
Cleanliness is nest to godliness, gen
erally, but the cleanliness of some fam
ilies is next to nothing
Time gods on crutches till love ob
tains his wish. Then time flies and
leaves love the crutches.
There is a gorge in Yellowstone park
where no sound can be heard. Not a
bad place to keep house.
A short horse is soon curried, but he
must first be caught. The same may
be said of a short cashier.
A woman and a fiddle are something
alike. They always come out strongest
when there is a beau about.
A man who wants a wife who will
work for him generally ends by falling
back on his father for support.
The man who sits with his back to a
draft faces his coffin, but tbe same men
would just as lief faco their coffin as a
draft.
'Truth makes all things plain.' But
this is an error. Many people are plain
who never had anything to do with the
truth.
A whistling girl and a crowing hen
never coiuo to any good end But the
heus keep on crowing and the girls
whistling.
A bird in tbe hand is worth two in
the busb. If you refer 10 the Ameri
can eagle, two in the bush are worth
i just 4*2 oents apiece.
>l'a,' said the little boy, 'what is an
absolute monarchy?' 'I can't explain
it, my son, so that you oan comprehend
it. Wait until you get married and
then you'll know.'
•He's a man of big calibre,' remarked
Jones to Hrown. speaking of an ao
quaintanoe. 'lndeed*' was tbe reply,
'how do you make that out?' 'He's a
great bore.' 'Ob,' murmured Blown,
and fainted away.
'To clean the teeth use a mixture of
emery and mixed oil, following it with
plenty of kcrosono.' This would seem
to be queer advice, but as it is taken
from a -machinists' maguiine, and from
a chapter relating to circular taws,
uo have no doubt it is given in good
faith.
Those art tho days when the y)ung
man puts on kneobrefehes snd stock
i ing« ind momsting a bicyeli starts on a
j long lour, fooling perfectly happy till a
! sixteon-mr-old country girl with blue
! eyes us big as saucuis, shouts; 'Hey,
I mister come here and I'll lend you
I money enough to buy leg* for thein
pants.'