Newspapers / Jackson County Journal (Sylva, … / Dec. 28, 1923, edition 1 / Page 3
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? "--l -I ,^v K': BOWER }( WALRUS WAYS \ ! ' ? C < _ _? ? ?, ?i-n . , ?"* (J ' \ '?( ? ' . , '??? J inveML toll of 'our way*," said Moth ff wrlrhs. "Yes, well let them, know ? ,bout us." Bi>lie Brownie waa wearing his warm, warm coat which Old Man Win ter had given him. It waa made out^of > the same material that Old Man Win terjiad his wardrobe made of, for no matter how cold It is. It If never too qolii for Old Mnn Winter. ' >; lie is protected from the cold by' his regular winter clothing 1 But he won't tell anyone just how It la made. And Hillie was wearing the shoes ami [lie cap and the earmuffs Old Man Winter had given him, too. ??There are many of us about, as you can see," said Mother Walrus. "But, though we love to go about In big groups, we have a nice family Ufe and are devoted to our own. "We are great, huge creatures, arent (*?" . ? , V "Enormous," said Blllle Brownie. > "If it wouldn't be rude,* he added; after a moment, "I would like to knovj how much you weigh." "Not rude at all, Blllle Brownle/f said Mother Walrus. "Not rude at al^ Now my Mr. Walrus la one of thf grandest and most superb of creature*, "He's a Walrus after my own heart and, of course, why wouldn't he be?" * Mother Walrus ladghed a great, deep laugh. "Of course," she repeated, "why wouldn't he be, considering he la the Walrus of my own heart? "He weighs three thousand pounds^ and I weigh two thousand pounds. "Ah, Mr. Walrus Isn't one of your skinny gentlemen. No, he Is fat, good and fat, and full of wrinkles, for the fat all wrinkles up, as there la so much of it. "There is plenty of fat to. spare, you see, and it just folds up and wrinkles up and lets you know that there la nothing stingy about the fatness ? It's all there ? plenty of It ! "His two ivory tusks are the moot beautiful I have ever seen. "We are slow creatures when we go over the Ice, but we're good swlm teers." "Gracious," said Bllle Brownie. "To think of weighing three thousand pounds." "It's a majestic thought, Isnt It?" , "A Walrus After My Own Heart." <Jald Mother Walrus, with a Walru* smile. "Ah, yes," she continued, "we're not small or dainty. We go In for slr,e and little else. * . ' "We have so much fat that there Isn't much room for brains. We're not very bright In fact, we might almost be considered stupid. "But we're as sociable as soelablf can be, and we're all very friendly with one another. "And, as I said before, though we are so friendly with one another, our own family always cqmes first. ? . "I'm not much of a fighter. I will do Oo one any harm. "But? if any one should come after my baby? then, It Is very- different! I should be so excited then, to protect my big little one, that I'd be afraid of do one and I'd fight, fight, fight. The Mother Walruses will fight for their young. They are afraid of noth bg, nothing, nothing If their young are I? danger. "Such are the ways of the Walru* features," ended Mother Walrus, a* ?h# bellowed a good-by to Blllle Brownie. RIDDLES What lias no mouth, yet can whistle? wind. ? ? ? Whnt is most like a cat's tall? A ^ten's tall. e #" e ' ? What) has three feet bat no legal * yardstick. ? ? ? ? -0. , ?What is the best land for young ttUdren? Upland.,. * ? e * ? ,^hy is a clock so bashful? Be ^?08e it always has Its hgnds over Its f*ee. . < ."???* ! ? ^ a bear went Into a dry ' goods ?fe what would he wtont? Muwlln' r(niaaiiH>. ' ? *ben may a (nan be considered to 0vir head and ears In debt?" When o?es for his wig. *' !.1 V- ' [ ? ? A fcWtllch is bigger, Mr. BlggSr or Mr. ' 2*r'# bab*? baby is a little U little Bigger), ,i-V .?<= i k if s ? ? !>? m. H.U.> And IF HOUR MA W OTHT LET US BCV IN "faE HOUSE WELL Box OUT HERE IN THE GARAGE ^ J jpy I*"*- M . 1 ?'? ^o] Blocked It O 0 nomu PREODiC I'm 60<hg To "TfeACH ^OU TME MANIV .-ART OP <5EIF DEFENCE ? HOLl> YOUQ JXiKF^ UP L I UfE TmiS ? LEfT l=OOT POR\UARt> kKD f NOW S\JWN$ VWlXM >OUf? CEFT- HARD -an DAt>DV'LL ^OU MOW "TO BLOCK IT If This Ain't Lese Majestic, W hat Is? IAsevc\t s*vo m hco w. i ^uere w8 1 \mtK f DO VOU MEAM BV KEEPtUC* me STAMDIUG mere uOOKIMCt UKE APOOt m Sn POR.'VS AMKlUTES V VUOUDEfc VIWfcfcE "(HE. SAVA HVUW/* UECfrU BE ??aNflNff>Uw -r* - ? , ONLY A MOVIE MAN v' - ' ?'? >?' V _ " \jj, Two men were fishing in the river. for some time they sat in silence smoking their pipes and watching their. lines. Suddenly one of them uttered an excited exclamation and dropped his rod into the river. "Heavens!" he ejaculated. "Did you see that fellow fall off that cliff over there into the river?" "Don't get exqited, Tom," answered his companion soothingly. "It may be a movie actor doing one of his stunts. They often make films in these parts." IF A GOOD PEN ARTIST Farmer ? There's my prize pig. Don't you think he ought to make a fine pic ture at the show? Visitor ? Well, if he's a good pen artist he may. No True Friend. I backed my "Judgment" to the end. Luck bids my heart repine. A horse is called "man's truest friend." He's never one of mine. Washington Means Lot. Wife-- John, "Washington" means a whole lot in our life. Husband? How so? Wife ? Weil, - the laundry man al ways weigiiti us heavy on the first syllable and the coal man cuts us short on the last. . Husband ? Spring's here! Stick an "S" on the second syllable and be merry. " ? . A Truce. Deris ? I hear you and Tom have made up again. I'm so glad. Kate ? Yes, but It's only temporary; we get married next month. - And There You Are. "Money isn't everything," sighed the rich man. ? "And I find you are nothing without money," growled the poor man. Taking Stock. ? Policeman ? What are you doing In this store? v Burglar ? Can't you see Tm taking stock? NO CAUSE FOR ALARM "Maria, there's scarcely a single per son left in this place." "Ob, John, what can have hap pened?" ' "Nothing, nothing, my dear; only I think I've married about all of them now." Home-Biding. One step. It does not take us far! 'Tvtas not intended we should roam. But view, each night, the evening star. From garden plots of home! i Selection. ? , *T>o you like music when you dine?" "No," replied Miss Cayenne. "If I don't enjoy something on the menu 1 needn't have it ; but an orchestra com pels me to take whatever it has on hand."? Washington Star. Striker Out "Our second baseman would make an excellent swimmer. "Why so?" "He strikes out so badly." Discussing a Friend. Flora ? Did you know Miss Oldsmlth wears false teeth? .' Fauna ? Well, they may be false te others, but they'fce true to her. \ * Knocking Our Hooch. Punch? We have Just heard of an American who drank a quantity of prussic acid In mistake for bootleg whisky. It was a merciful escape. Cause for Doubt ' Clara ? You may not believe It but I said' "No" to seven different men during the past summer. Maude? What were they selling? 1 ? * Same O^L Thing. r . Prominent Society Woman (to popu lar lecturer) ? Don't you get tired of saying the same thing over and over ?gain? ' Lecturer ? Yes; dout you?? Phila delphia Public Ledger. i Time and Change. v "Why, what In the world has be ?ome of you^ watch? The one jrou used to have had ? handsome gold '?ase." ,1 .. "I -knew It but circumstance* alter ASes."? Philadelphia Telegram. k v ' ?v jK'fh. ??' r ? S -? ? f \. .... * i Good to the last drop Elect to cloudless ? skie?, nothing sends the day off to such. i ' a glorious start as the tight sort of breakfast cup/ ([Most women prefer MAXWELL HOUSE COFFEE Leaked. * * It was one of London's gray day* when one American greeted another American In Piccadilly. "LIT ol' London's got no skyscraper! yet," "remarked one. > . "Pity, too, answered the other, gazing heavenward. "I never saw ? sky that needed scraping more." MOTHER! GIVE SICK CHILD "CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP" Harmless Laxative for a Blllou% Constipated Baby or Child Constipated, bil lons, feverish, or sick, colic Babies and Children love to take genuine "California Fig Syrup." No other laxative regulates fr - the tender little xf/ bowels so nicely. It sweetens the stomach and starts the liver and bowels acting with out- griping. Contains no narcotics or 8oo thing drugs. Say "California" to youf druggist and avoid counterfeits! Insist upon genuine "California Fig Syrup" which contains directions. ? Advertisement If there be no good feeling, the very name of friendship vanishes. CALUMET ?"?"a BAKING PQWBEB * Sales times m much as that of
Jackson County Journal (Sylva, N.C.)
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Dec. 28, 1923, edition 1
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