'The Daily Tar Heel/Friday, January 29, 1993
8
My oar Itol
PETER Wallsten, Editor Office hours: Fridays 2 p.m. to 4 p.m.
Amber Nimocks, Managing Editor
Anna Griffin, University Editor
Jackie Hershkowitz, City Editor
Yl-HsiN CHANG, Features Editor
Erin Randall, Photography Editor
Samantha Falke, Copy Desk Editor
John Caserta, Graphics Editor
Alex De Grand, Cartoon Editor
In a little more than a week, students will have the
opportunity to clear out the stables of Student Con
gress.
It’s more important this year than ever before for
students to take care to elect the best UNC has to
offer. It’s important because this year congress has
outdone itself when it comes to making games out of
serious business.
The shenanigans are entertaining but they make
congress look like a Calvin and Hobbes playground
nightmare. The professional clowns not only often
manage to outmaneuver those representatives who
are responsible, but their high-wire circus acts also
overshadow the noble and sincere efforts of the
grown-ups in their midst.
UNC-CH is the only school in the 16-campus
UNC system at which students exercise control over
a substantial portion of student fees. At the other
schools, and at the overwhelming majority of univer
sities nationwide, the chancellors or presidents allo
cate funds to student groups. UNC-CH students have
been entrusted with a great responsibility. In the last
few years, our representatives have not lived up to
this trust.
If congress members aren’t careful, state lawmak
ers may renew their call for Chancellor Paul Hardin
to take control of student fees in effect, terminat
More money, more jobs
Seniors, have you found a job? An overwhelming
number of you would have to answer “No.”
February is suddenly upon us, and senior students
throughout the many departments at the University
are beginning to panic over their lack of success in
finding a job. And rightly so.
Anyone who has attempted to enter the University
Career Services in Hanes Hall would tell you to give
up now, walk down the hall, and enroll in school for
another year. UCS is packed from dawn to dusk with
students trying to get just a minute with one of the
staff members.
One sentence can sum up the whole problem
University Career Services is appropriated about
SIB,OOO a year (exclusive of staff salaries) to pro
mote student job searches and corporate recruiting.
Eighteen thousand dollars.
This figure is considerably less than that of other
state schools, not to mention the surrounding private
schools that compete with us for employment oppor
tunities. Eighteen thousand dollars would be a mod
erate recruiting phone bill, and the University ex
pects UCS to use no more for their entire operating
budget.
Tar Heel Quotable*
"This is not a homeless shelter. This is a
hospice. This is for people who are dying."
AIDS Service Agency President
Peter Millard on the need for an
affordable house for AIDS patients.
"I think the most important thing for us to
do right now is let the legislature know that
this is a bad idea to raise tuition."
Student Body Vice President
Charlie Higgins.
"They're not a wine-and-cheese crowd any
more."
Sam Cassell, Florida State basketball
player, on the Smith Center crowd.
"This is an opportunity that only comes
every year or so."
Art Werner, Chapel Hill town council
member on the council’s decision to
give $30,000 to the town’s
Bicentennial Committee.
The Daily Tar Heel
manaV* *** * dvert, * ,n ® : Ke ™ Schwartz . director/general manager; Bob Bates, advertising director; Leslie Humphrey, classified ad manager; Michelle Gray, business
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assistants. ’
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Newsclerk: Kevin Brennan.
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Alan Martin, Editorial Page Editor
Rebecah Moore, State and National Editor
Steve Politi, Sports Editor
David Counts, Layout Editor
David Lindsay, Copy Desk Editor
Jennifer Brett, Omnibus Editor
JENNIFER Pilla, Centennial Edition Editor
Play time is over
ing Congress’ reason to exist.
The only way to avoid having Papa Hardin essen
tially send UNC students to bed without supper and
take their allowance is to change the face of congress.
But don’t vote for anew face just because it’s new.
Some incumbents are mature and take their respon
sibility seriously. Sorting them out may be difficult,
but it is crucial.
The burden is upon every student to learn about the
candidates in her district. Examine their positions,
attitudes and accessibility (because, shamefully, some
members of this year’s congress maintain unlisted
and unpublished phone numbers).
And then vote. A voter participation rate of 10
percent is not enough. Students must recognize that
fee allocation affects everyone. It’s much better for
an elected peer to control student fees than an inac
cessible bureaucrat in South Building. Representa
tives must be elected who are willing to put the good
of the student body and the respectability of the
institution of congress above their own petty agendas
and in-fighting.
Fill Congress to the brim with good people and
throw out those clowns who have given student
government a bad name. Your vote Feb. 9 can move
campus past the era of sandbox politics and preserve
student control of student fees.
We are out of the recession now and no one wants
to hear the UNC-system President C.D. Spangler
apologize once again at Commencement for the lack
of jobs going to graduates. We have the impetus for
change employment. Increased investment in
UCS is a pivotal place to make that change.
The problem is clear an overworked, under
staffed, under-resourced UCS is having trouble plac
ing students in career positions. They need more
money. Additional funding will secure more jobs for
graduates, which in turn will secure more alumni
donations for the University. Any money invested in
UCS now is guaranteed to gamer exponential returns
in the future. It is a win-win situation of which the
University has to take advantage.
Where is the money going to come from? The most
obvious approach is for the student population to
address the problem. Who could be better than the
student body president, as a member of the Board of
Trustees, to lobby for more funds for the UCS? As
student body president candidates begin to prepare
their agenda for the Feb. 9 elections, it’s necessary
that due attention be paid to the future and to improve
UCS.
"Some people have a stereotypical image of
the traditional pageant competition, and I
don't fit that stereotype. I think that's why I
won."
Jennifer Lloyd, UNC junior and
speaker of Student Congress on being
crowned Miss Alamance County.
"It was a great time for me to break the
record."
George Lynch, UNC basketball player,
on breaking the all-time UNC career steals
record with a steal that preceded his fast
break dunk that put Carolina ahead to stay
in the greatest comeback in UNC history.
"He was disruptive, he attended class nude.
Some people felt they were being sexually
harassed."
Lt. Bill Foley, Berkeley, Calif.,
police spokesman about
Andrew Martinez, a Berkeley student
expelled for his nudist practices.
How the earth will be saved by nuclear bombs
To fill some requirement, I have to
take a geology class this semes
ter. Ordinarily, I am a big fan of
the sciences, but for some reason a
straightforward geology class this se
mester just does not seem too appeal
ing. I know enough geology to eat well,
and that’s enough for me, for now.
But take it I must, so I decided to have
a chat with the professor about tailoring
the course to fit what I wish to study:
behavioral geology. I don’t just want to
know how rocks are formed, I want to
know how they feel how does the
gravel on my driveway react to stimuli?
Are the patches in the sunlight inher
ently happier than those in the shade? If
I take a piece of basalt away from its
magma of origin immediately after cool
ing and place it in a cage with two
models of its mother magma, one made
of wire but with a milk bottle and the
other without any food source, but cov
ered with warm, huggable fabric, which
will it pick? Are pebbles truly social or
simply communal? I feel these are all
important questions, worthy of research.
I suggested my course of study to my
teacher, and though he praised my pre
liminary research as “infantile and asi
nine, completely without merit” and
even suggested anew experiment that
would require me to place several of my
mineral samples up my rectum, I do not
think he will give me permission for an
independent study.
I left his office, my jaw smarting
from his unexpected right hook, feeling
quite dejected. But then, as I was leav
ing the building, I saw something which
immediately lifted my spirits. It was a
New York Times newspaper clipping,
dated Tuesday, Nov. 3, 1992, that de
scribed the relatively good chance the
comet Swift-Tuttle has of colliding with
the earth. Gleeful visions of that jerky
kid who wouldn’t get out of my way this
morning being smushed by big hunks of
comet danced in my head, until I real
ized, with the help of a few simple line
drawings, that if a comet hits the earth,
I, along with the countless dorks whose
demise I cruelly dreamed, would die.
Luckily, I read on, and found that I
really had no need to panic, for the
comet was not due to impact until Aug.
A feminist who’s proud
to show femininity
To the editor:
I am writing in response to Alisa
DeMao’s Jan. 21 article entitled “She’s
got the look and terrible blisters, too.”
Asa very independent and ambitious
woman, I am appalled at Ms. DeMao’s
article and disgusted at her suggestion
for “unisex clothing.” Ms. DeMao
claims that skirts and other feminine
clothes degrade and deny women “free
dom of expression.” Give me a break!!!
Skirts and dresses celebrate woman
hood, not damn it. Feminine clothing
distinguishes and separates females
from their male counterparts. Women
are individual beings with unique quali
ties. Why would a free-thinking, liber
ated woman want to dress in unisex
clothing and blend in with men?
Ms. DeMao states that skirts restrict
her from making “broad, expansive ges
tures.” Does she constantly feel the need
to sit spread-eagled or to do cart-wheels
down the street? She claims to hate the
professional world’s “bastion of sex
ism in clothes.” Why do you give in to
it? Why didn’t you wear your “frumpy
jeans and sweatshirt” to the interviews?
You willingly became part of a system
CANDIDATES: Important notice of deadlines
Attention student body president.
Residence Hall Association and Caro
lina Athletic Association candidates!!
Candidates forcampuswide offices
should contact Alan Martin or Peter
Wallsten at the DTH (962-0245) as
soon as possible to set up a time that
we can interview you for the endorse
ment process.
The interviews will take place Fri
day, Feb. 5 and Saturday, Feb. 6.
Endorsements will run in the Mon
day, Feb.B edition.
In addition, we would like to run a
version of your platfpnn in the paper.
Give us an 800- word masterpiece by
14,2126,which I~Bf~
should give me
plenty of time to
find shelter,
and, more im- 1
portantly, scien
tists think that g
with the proper I
use of nuclear Jas()n
weapons, the , , . jj
entire collision lOrChIDSKy
could be Turn Your Heai§
averted. and Cough
My mind ““- 1
reeled. What a wonderful thing this
comet will be! “Why?”, you may ask.
Now. Well, I’ll tell you. For one thing,
it will finally give us a chance to use all
of those nuclear weapons we’ve wasted
so much time building. Right now, the
earth is full of nuclear weapons- all just
going to waste, thankfully, I guess. But
it is still waste. Now, I certainly don’t
recommend shooting them at anything
on earth, but I hate to see such impres
sive machinery go to waste. I think I got
that trait from my mom. She would
never waste anything, if she thought it
was valuable. I remember how my sis
ter and I used to eat entire bowls of
outdated prescription drugs and milk
for breakfast, all because my mom
couldn’t bear to throw out the excess.
Anyway, a nuclear intercontinental
ballistic missile is quite an engineering
feat, and if it can be put to constructive
use, so much the better. Blowing up a
big comet or meteor seems the best use
now, especially when you consider that
my best other alternative was to remove
the warheads and sell space inside the
nose cone to travelers heading towards
the major population centers and mili
tary areas of die former Soviet Union. It
would have been the fastest possible
way to get there, and I would have had
free in-flight snacks and drinks, but I
still think the comet is a better idea.
Besides, the missiles should be used
because everybody, deep down, really
wants to see something the size of an
office building come ripping out of the
ground in South Dakota, sending com
and cattle flying, and scream into the
sky at Mach 20.
Also, the sense of global unity and
READERS' FORUM
that you hate and preach against. That,
Ms. DeMao, is hypocrisy.
Personally, I like skirts and feminine
clothes. But, I don’t choose to wear
these to make myself “attractive to men.”
I wear them because I am proud of
myself and my womanhood. If you, Ms.
DeMao, want to be “mannish,” you go
ahead. But I am sick of hearing you
exhort your anti-men, femi-Nazi atti
tude to insult independent, career-ori
ented women who freely choose to act
feminine.
COLLEEN RODITE
Junior
Nursing
Joe Bob was highlight
of DTH s weekly fare
To the editor:
Mr. Andy Bechtel is to be congratu
lated for his letter lamenting the loss of
Joe Bob Briggs from the Omnibus (“Un
derside of culture wants Joe Bob back,”
DTH, Jan. 15). I too very much enjoyed
his tongue-in-cheek drive-in reviews,
which to me were the highlight of the
week’s Daily Tar Heel offerings
(though, unlike Mr. Bechtel, I also en
joy Jason Torchinsky’s column). Actu
ally, Joe Bob did enter a theater at least
noon, Friday, Jan. 29 to appear on
Monday, Feb. 1.
We will allowing each candidate to
submit two letters of endorsement from
other students (NOTE: THIS IN
CLUDES SENIOR CLASS CANDI
DATES) . The letters must be no longer
than 400 words each and are limited to
two signatories. They are due by noon,
Tuesday, Feb. 2.
Students for Student Congress
should come by the DTH to pick up
endorsement questionnaires. These
will be due Wednesday, Feb. 3.
THERE WlllL BE NO EXCEP
TIONS TO THESE DEADLINES.
cooperation brought on by the threat of
the comet would be unparalleled. Noth
ing brings people together like a com
mon enemy. For example, the only time
I ever saw my Uncle Morris and my
Aunt Rivke hug was when they killed
that health inspector behind their res
taurant. And what would make a better
common enemy than a big hunk of rock
and ice! For once, there would be a
battle that all the peoples of earth could
join together in and feel good about!
It would be completely guilt-free.
Not only would we be saving the earth,
but we would also be finally ridding our
home of nuclear arms. Destroying the
comet will be so exciting! Everybody
on earth would be following the progress
of the comet for months. People will
print up “Rock the Rock” T-shirts, MTV
will run a contest to guess, say, the
weight of the comet, and the winner
would get to push one of the launch
buttons on his or her respective country ’ s
missiles! Special satellites would be
launched so that the actual explosion of
the comet could be televised all across
the globe!
Then the day would come, and all
over the world people will step out of
their homes and watch the majestic pro
cession of the missiles’ sleek cylinders,
emblazoned with the flags of the world,
as they streak across the sky towards
their martyrdom in the heavens! After
the missiles are out of sight, simulta
neously everyone will bolt indoors and
snap on their televisions to view the
actual explosion, which will be shown
in a special show hosted by Dick Clark.
After the comet is destroyed and it is
ascertained that the earth is no longer in
danger, I foresee a monthlong global
party, declared by the nations of earth,
to celebrate humankind’s ingenuity in
averting its own doom. Then I guess
there’d be a weeklong recuperation and
clean-up period, and then life would go
on. But with such memories.
No, not even a massive, speeding
comet can quench the fire that is man
kind. That will only happen when the
giant monkeys come. Solidarity.
Jason Torchinsky is a senior art his
tory major from Greensboro, N.C.
once, to see and review “The Last Temp
tation of Christ.” One of the most seri
ous crimes a publication can commit
(and one of which student newspapers
almost universally are guilty) is to take
itself too seriously; Mr. Briggs’ column
served as at least partial leavening. I do
acknowledge that The Far Side,
Doonesbury, and Calvin and Hobbes
help serve that function admirably - it’s
just that they aren’t enough. If the weekly
cost of the syndicated Briggs column is
only $6 and that is the major issue in not
continuing it in Omnibus, I would be
willing personally to shoulder the bur
den, even though I suppose that might
mean the column would then be consid
ered an “advertisement.”
I am proud to be considered a mem
ber of the “underside of culture.”
BRADFORD B. WALTERS
Associate Professor
Neurosurgery
Columnist’s ‘mind’s eye’
closed to Palestinians
To the editor:
This is in response to the column by
Eric Wagner, titled Mind’s Eye (Jan
19), which I think can be more appro
priately called Jaundiced Mind’s Eye.
It’s a bunch of pro-Israeli propaganda
bullshit. What amazes me is that every
time Iraq attempts to flaunt a “UN”
sanction, the “international” commu
nity comes down on them like a ton of
bricks, but Israel manages to acquit
itself of every atrocity committed against
the Palestinians whose territory they
occupy.
Now, I have heard that there is a pro-
Israeli lobby in Washington which has
the government by the seams. 1 don’t
know if it’s true, but do you think that
might have something to do with this
kind of partial treatment?
LAKSHMAN RAMAMURTHY
Graduate
Biology