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Jon Rich tries to enjoy The Late Show" from outside the studio.
NEW YORK
BY JON RICH
STAFF WRITER
I have always wanted to be on television. Maybe
it’s an ego thing, but I’ve always looked up at the
small screen and said to myself, “I can do at least as
good as that bozo.” That’s why I like David
Letterman’s “Late Show.”
Letterman doesn’t take himself too seriously, or
at least as much as anyone with their own cult
following can be expected to. To see what Letterman
was really like, I traveled to New York to attend a
show taping.
I talked two of my friends into making the trek to
“The Big Apple” with me over fall break, and I
learned two things from our eight-hour tour: never
allow anyone to eat three Taco Bell Chilitos before
embarking on an extended drive, and eight hours
with the same people, no matter how much you like
them, is just too damn long.
Anyway, we arrived in New York without maim
ing one another and promptly began our quest for
tickets. Before going any further, here’s a tip in case
you want to see Dave for yourself: Write for tickets
early. Early as in plan your trip around seeing the
show. We wrote a month ahead of time, but our
request wasn’t filled. The address is:
The Late Show with David Letterman
c/o The Ed Sullivan Theater
1697 Broadway
New York, N.Y. 10019
If your written request doesn’t get filled, you
might get in via the stand-by ticket line. The line
Taj Mahal's Shows for Children, Adults Offer Unique Blues Blend
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Music Page 6
Lord of Acid
Ronny Jordan has
continued success with
his acid jazz styles on
The Quiet Revolution
despite a number of
overproduced tracks.
1 load TriPPin
BY ALISON INCE
STAFF WRITER
* s 088 mm oin America when the sun goes down and I sit on
(} fsfEjHiZ the old broken-down river pier watching the long,
long skies over New Jersey and sense all that raw
land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over
™ ■“* ™ “ to the West Coast, and all that road going, all the
people dreaming in the immensity of it...” JackKerouac,“Onthe
Road”
Few people can say they never have had the urge to escape from
everything around them, hop into a car and drive to where no one
can find them. Blame it on Keroauc. Call it Wanderlust. Road trips
have come to epitomize the American dream of freedom.
The rules of the road are simple and few: Stay to the right of the
yellow lines, to the left of the shoulder, and don’t get caught
speeding. Beyond that, “the open road is a beckoning, a strange
ness, a place where a man can lose himself,” wrote William Least
Heat Moon in “Blue Highways.”
GRACELAND
BY KEVIN BRENNAN
STAFF WRITER
“For reasons I can’t explain there’s some
part of me wants to see Graceland.” Paul
Simon, “Graceland”
With Simon’s anthem ringing in my head
and in my heart, I started on my pilgrimage
to the home I’d never seen. Elvis Presley’s
Graceland, my Graceland, our Graceland.
Graceland has captured the imaginations
of songwriters, poets and millions of league
bowlers throughout the world. Now it was
my chance to travel down 1-40 to the place
where Elvis Presley hung his hat, blue suede
shoes and rhinestone-covered jumpsuits.
“I’m going to Graceland, Graceland in
Memphis .Tennessee.”
Hours away from Memphis and just out
side of Nashville, I had an experience that
lent me some insight into this mysterious
state that Elvis called home.
I was waiting in line at an Arby’s when
some firecrackers went off outside. A woman
behind the counter asked one of her friends if
she had anything to do with the disturbance.
When she called out “Bubba!” to get her
friend’s attention, several people turned
around. The fact that the Bubba population
forms inside the theater at 9 a.m., and stand-by
tickets are given out at noon. These tickets don’t
guarantee you a seat, but they might if actual ticket
holders don’t show.
If you seriously want to see the show, get there
early. CBS gives out 1-00 stand-by tickets per taping,
and empty seats are given first to those who com
mandeer the theater lobby at sunrise.
Yet there was hope. A CBS page told us 30 stand
bys were seated for the previous day’s taping. That
didn’t matter much to us; we 81 st, 82nd and 83rd in
line.
Stand-by tickets in hand, my cohorts sized-up
our chances. “It doesn’t look too good,” one said
while the other added, “Yeah, but how often are
you in New York?” We decided to return later and
take our chances.
Before leaving Letterman’s domain for
sightseeing, we traced the steps of our guru.
Letterman has a segment called “Meet the Neigh
bors” where his camera crew visits stores on 54th
Street,and they had gone to the t-shirt/tourist trap
store “Rock America” several times asking the
Bangledeshi clerks there to pose for ID photos.
We stopped by and the same clerks sold us “Late
Show” shirts and advised us that if stand-by tickets
didn’t get us in, we might want to appeal to
Letterman’s eclectic sense ofhumor. After all, who
would have thought two Bangledeshi clerks would
be made into cultural icons?
That’s when I thought of a plan. The mother of
one of our group gave each of us a gift to take on the
trip, a Carolina-blue kazoo. At the time I thought
the choice kind of odd, but who was I to look a gift
kazoo in the mouth?
Please See NEW YORK, Page 8
Taj Mahal
7 p.m. and 9 p.m. Friday
Carrboro Arts Center
Taj Mahal brings his unique blend of blues to the Carrboro Arts Center
for a 7 p.m. children’s performance and a 9 p.m. adult performance
Friday.
Mahal, the son of a West Indian jazz arranger and a South Carolina
I Gospel singer, is a self-taught master of more than 12 instruments.
His music features a mix of Caribbean, West African and Southern
I roots.
I Mahal performs at more than 200 appearances each year and has
I recorded 20 albums. He has appeared on television, movie and Broad-
I way soundtracks.
I Mahal’s children’s performance is a part of the Families Night Out
I Series. The show, which is for children 4 and older, will be in the
I tradition of his children’s album, Shake Sugaree. Tickets are $8 for adults
I and $6 for children and friends.
I The adult performance will feature Scott Ainslie as the opening act.
■ Tickets are sl3 for the public, sl2 for students and seniors and sll for
friends. For more information, call 929-ARTS.
ft
of that restaurant was more than one shook
me up, but it wasn’t going to distract me from
my mission.
“Poorboys and pilgrims with families and
we are going to Graceland.”
There was a motley crew of tourists on
hand to tour the compound on Elvis Presley
Boulevard. From college students to grand
parents, several generations were showing
their appreciation of the legend.
I decided to skip the tours of his cars and
airplanes in favor of the tour of his house and
“Sincerely Elvis.” The Elvis Shuttle trans
ported me across the boulevard and through
the gates to Elvis’ home.
The tour of the house covers most of the
rooms in the house except those on the second
floor, where the bedrooms are located. Just a
suggestion: don’t run up the steps yelling “I
know you’re up there, King!” The helpful
tourguides don’t take too kindly to this.
A strong stomach is necessary for all legs of
the tour because one word that has never been
used to describe Elvis is “taste.” The only
thing that overshadows the multitude of mir
rors is the display of 20 zillion portaits of the
King. I won’t even mention the Jungle Room’s
carpeted ceilings. Well, I did, but just once.
Graceland also is the final resting place of
Elvis, his parents and his grandmother. Elvis’
monument is nicely understated with his Tak
ing Care of Business in A Flash emblem.
ATHENS, GA
BYKEVIN KRUSE
STAFF WRITER
Road trips are a vital part of the college experi
ence. Under the constant deluge of academia, the
inner child needs to scream down a highway in a
cramped Honda in search of Stuckeys’ pecan logs
and fireworks supermarkets, only occasionally stop
ping to reload on Fritos and Zingers.
There’s something primal about spending an
unshaven, unbathed week with your friends, truly
learning what the word “pheromone” means, only
getting a bit of exercise when you’re doubled over
a balcony rail, depositing the trip’s potpourri of
junk food onto the downstairs patio after a failed
bout with Strawberry-Banana Mad Dog.
One fall break, my comrades and I ventured
down the yellow brick road of 1-85 to the fairy tale
world of Athens, Ga. We loaded into the car of a
friend we had cajoled into driving and hurtled
down under through the scenic splendor of state
troopers and South of the Border billboards.
Plenty of refreshments were on hand, and within
10 minutes, my roommate had stripped completely
naked to the tune of “Like a Virgin. ” The rest of us,
shaken and shell shocked, demanded an immediate
pit-stop.
We wheeled into Buford’s Amoco and Kountry
Kitchen in order to have the pleasure of dragging a
key and its attached two-by-four to the restroom,
which apparently had last been cleaned as part of
LBJ’s highway beautification program.
Of course, its stained cinder-block walls were
UPFRONT
Movies Page 7
“A man who couldn’t make things go right could at least go. He
could quit trying to get out of the way of life. Chuck routine. Live
the real jeopardy of circumstance.”
The theme of road trips has shown up in both movies and
literature. “Thelma and Louise,” deals with two women sick of the
monotony of life. “Blue Highways” is the author’s story of his
travels after he loses his teaching job and gets separated from his
wife. In “Travels with Charley,” John Steinbeck describes his
ignorance about his own country and sets out in a truck with his dog
Charley to “try to rediscover this monster land.”
And of course, “On the Road.” Published in 1957, William
Burroughs credits the novel as having sold “a trillion Levis” and
sending “countless kids on the road.”
Professor of History John Kasson believes that people who take
road trips are drawn to the romantic quality of the road.
“There’s a real sense of discovery when you are on a road trip.
You’re kind of on a mini-quest. There’s also the dramatic aspect of
going across the country and watching the landscapes and accents
change.”
■■ ■ f
The King's "tastes' shine through Graceland's decor.
“Maybe I’ve a reason to believe we all will
be received in Graceland.”
A few final tips for the would-be traveler:
don’t show ignorance. I was berated by an
elderly English woman for not knowing Elvis’
mother from his grandmother. Although the
Heartbreak Hotel Restaurant sounds inviting,
it is the only place I know that serves a grilled
peanut butter and banana sandwich.
adorned with the usual vending machine of “adult
pleasure” items, as if the overpowering stench of
urine is supposed to somehow arouse the frisky side
of a man. I’d hate to smell the convenience store’s
perfumes.
The only notable event of the trip was a stop on
the side of the road to view the fabled peach water
tower of Gaffney, S. C., which basically looks like a
giant rounded ramp impaled on a spike kind of
a “buttsicle.” It was crude and tacky. We posed for
photos for five minutes.
Please See ATHENS, Page 9
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Dan Smith and Kevin Kruse take time away from a warm
keg for a Coke and a smile at the Atlanta museum.
Chicago's Smashing Pumpkins Bust Into Raleigh for Ritz Show
College rockers Smashing Pumpkins will
be appearing tonight at the Ritz with England’s
Swervedriver.
The Pumpkins are vocalist and guitarist
Billy Corgan, vocalist and bassist D’Arcy,
drummer Jimmy Chamberlin and guitarist
James Iha.
Time magazine classified the Chicago band
as “Glamßockers,” comparingthem to Suede
and the Velvet Underground.
Their latest album, Siamese Dream , was
released by Virgin Records. Their first album,
Gish, was released in 1991 on Caroline
Records.
The show starts at 8 p.m. Tickets for the
performance are sold out.
The Ritz is located at 2820 Industrial Drive,
Raleigh. Call 836-8535 for more information.
Smashing Pumpkins With Swervedriver
8 p.m. today
The Ritz in Raleigh
Thursday, November 18,1993
Killer Doctors, Fan
Man Present More
Danger Than TV
MTV has been pressured to stop airing
“Beavis and Butt-Head” episodes that supp
osedly encourage kids to bum their houses
down, and Touchstone Pictures removed the scene
from “The Program” where guys lie down in the
middle of roads hoping to avoid moving cars. This
baffles me, but not because it is censorship and
attacks our First Amendment rights.
Heck, the only amendment I care about is the
one that lets me carry around a semi-automatic
rifle, I mean semi-automatic hunting rifle. No, the
reason I am in such a quandary is because this stuff
is make-believe; the real danger comes from real life
as exposed on the news.
Only a few weeks after
MTV announced its inten
tion to soften up their epi
sodes of “Beavis and Butt- •
Head,” the fires in South
ern California dominate
the airwaves. Someone in
the Arson Lobby must be
working really hard be
cause in spite of setbacks
that would threaten other
pranks, arson just keeps
on going like the Energizer
Bunny with a blow torch.
It seems like the only lobby with more television
exposure is Ross Perot’s United We Stand America.
I guess the original name for the group wasn’t as
catchy: United We Can’t Stand Ross Perot,
America.
Did you see the NAFTA debate on television? I
don’t know enough about it to take a position (I
thought it was some kind of cheese spread until I
watched Larry King), but Perot is out of hand.
A lot of times when a group of people are talking,
they’ll look at each other, and sometimes they’ll
answer questions asked of them, but Perot spent his
entire time looking directly at the camera telling us
how Mexico has less buying power than a school
kid the day before he gets his allowance.
Personally, I think it’s more harmful to the youth
of this nation to watch some billionaire posture
himself as the spokesman for the working class
than to see some punks risking their lives on a stupid
dare. In fact, it would be quite entertaining if one of
the punks was Perot.
Also in the news recently is the guy in Virginia
who had his lil’ johnnie cut off by his wife. This
story is OK for television, but two geeks giggling
about fires isn’t?
If I had a choice, I’d much rather have my house
burned down than be eligible for the Vienna Boys’
Choir.
Although I think this bizarre couple is newswor
thy, the person I really want to see is the next guy
who goes out with the woman with the do-it
yourself vasectomy kit. He would have to be very
brave, I mean he really would have to have brass...
forget it.
They found the husband’s misshS&'appendage
and had it surgically reattached. Is this something
they normally teach in med school?'%
Maybe I have a boring view of the medical
world, but I didn’t realize that assisting suicides was
a viable specialization. But I feel bad for Dr. Jack
Kevorkian, because with a title like the suicide
doctor, he’s kind of locked into that field. It’s not
really the title you want your heart surgeon to have.
He also must be hurting financially, because ifhe
is really good at what he does, he’s guaranteed to
have no repeat business. I’ll bet he gets teased a lot
by people saying “Physician, heal thyself.”
When he was in jail last week, he held a hunger
strike until they let him out. How noble he
refused to eat prison food. Now that’s a powerful
statement to the powers that be.
The thing I think is hilarious is that he keeps
getting out on bail. He admits that he’s going to
assist in more suicides, plus he’s called the suicide
doctor. It doesn’t take Solomon to figure that he
probably shouldn’t get out.
Vying with the suicide doctor for the news per
sonality with silliest title is the Fan Man. This is the
guy that parachuted into the middle of the Riddick
Bowe-Evander Holyfield fight with a big propeller
strapped to his back and then got his butt stomped
by an angry mob.
I’ve parachuted before it’s scary. The whole
way down, I was just hoping that I would be able to
land as soon as possible. I can’t think of the horror
and disappointment of finally landing and then just
having the crap beat out of me. I would be trying to
catch an updraft and fly the heck out of there.
Then again, I don’t think this guy’s a candidate
for Mensa. I saw an interview with him on the news
and the following is the exact transcript.
Reporter: “Why did you do it?”
Fan Man: “Because I’m the Fan Man.”
Reporter: “What were you thinking?”
Fan Man: “I was thinking that I’m the man with
the fan, the Fan Man.”
Oh, the man with the fan, the Fan Man, that
explains everything. I don’t see why I thought this
guy was bonkers.
“Beavis and Butt-Head” is unacceptable view
ing, but the major networks all carry stories on
doctors that kill and maniacs who fly into boxing
rings.
I guess we all owe a big thanks to the news
entertainment pioneers at “A Current Affair.”
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