tye3nes3ay, Jah. 6, 1926
I His Annual Stunt .
But our way by williams
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-Tmav<e LAPP! •\ ’ f/sAw Y f Cor ear 11!
TH\NV< H\s Pa's GOKIWA vl HO\-ts IN \~X Too ' ?| |
St RISKiM HIS UFE. ; BuT THEkj IHER ' ?! ’i
FOU-ERiM os m» death X J i
VAEOET LOOVtlkl per a ; °Bor 5
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i . J.PsniLLams
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tiiw» BY m aasvict, me. j
I MOM*K POP > BY TAYI,DR
■“TtHuNK OV IT —ATTeR "We money t I "A L—J - VIMAT VIIO. OUR FRIENDS AT (, A
I SPENT TO GIVE CHICK A GOOD S =pgf? THE CTOS ©AY VJHEAO "THEY 1
]?<; hear of iris? TfiiNicornr' %'
ME THE PRESIDENT OF THE J ,f»V
r I- oh vieu, King. a «reeeT cleaner l '
S IS HONEST EMPLOYMENT- l CAN)
*, REMEMBER HOW TOO USED TO r 1
' CURRY HORSES AT THE I
rp= STABLE AWO DRiUE A GROCERY H
WAC-iON ON SATURDAY AFTCffWOOWS
7 Tb SET ENOU&H MONEY FOR THEATER
I ' —v m.* St JftTl Tiocers Awoz • H
( ' I • \1 'WASN’T ASHAMED I ~
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THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE
Stewai^t^
WASHIMGTQNvM
‘UTTER
By CHARLES P. STEWART
NBA Service writer
Washington Jan. 4.—Some day a
book will be written entitled, “The
American Alien—or, Passing the Hu
man Buck.” The author will be an
ocean steamship comany official.
The.book will deal with how to
get rid of passengers that no country
will allow to land. As a problem,
this is no cinch.
A passenger boards a ship and
arrives, in due course of time, at
hlsl destination. But the immigra
tion authorities at the port look him
i over and decide he can’t enter.
The steamship company then must
take him back to the starting point.
But the authorities at this port say,
“We don't want him, either—he can’t
come in here.”
Result: He's on the steamship com
pany's hands, scheduled for a life on
the ocean wave and a home on the
rolling dekp—for an indefinite period,
and at the steamship company's ex
pense !
■»- A man comes to this country from
Russia, lives here a while, decides to
return to his native land, and smug
gled himself on board .ship. Arriv
ing at Liverpool, the British authori
ties ask for his papers. He hasn’t
any—so they pack him back to Amer
ica.
At Ellis Island he can't prove he’d
been here before, so the authorities
return him to England.
The British authorities say, “What,
you here again.”—and send him to
America On file same ship. He-’s
due to be shifted from one ship to
another Until he can be palmed off on
some country.
HOW DUMB’S A DUMBBELL?
Xew York Mirror.
He's so dumb he thinks an actor
eats his role.
He's so dumb he thinks the cat-o'-
nine tails has kittens.
He's dumb he thinks Budapest is
an insect.
He's so dumb lie thinks Golden Gate
is the entrance to the Rockefeller es
tate.
tie's so dumb he thinks dog (fays
are canine holidays.
He so dumb be thinks Panama is
a hat Store.
He's so dumb he thinks C. O. D.
ftieftns Collect O Dad.
STINGIEST PERSON.
New York Daily Mirror.
The stingiest person I know is a
woninn who comes to my house every
Christmas Eve to wrap her parcels
so that she can use my holly wrap
ping paper.
The, stingiest person I know is a
map who takes just enough money to
,fjlpvstor<j-ti> get a suit of cheap clothes,
so they cannot persuade him to get a
more expensive suit.
A Chip Off the Old Block.
“Spike dear,” said the burglar's
wife. “I want you to punish Junior.
1 entertained the Ladies Shoplifting
Society this afternoon, and he and
that MeOary boy stole all the iee
cream apd cake I had for- refresh
ments.”
“ ‘At’s too bad. babe,” sympathized
her husband. “Youse oughta had 'em
locked up.”
"They were,” was the tearful re
sponse, “buat what good did i tdo me
with the house full of old burglar
tools.”
The Agile Mr. Doty.
New Orleans Times-I’ivayune.
li. H. Doty. Jr., was injured in an
autoinoßile accident when he was run
down. He win standing beside the
car in which he was riding.
= “Hogans Alley”
ON THE TOP HAIR RESTORER
The only genujne preparation that
gives back the natural color to grey
hair (no dye). Absolutely cures
dandruff; stops falling hair and itch
ing scalp immediately; grows hair on
bald. heads where the roots are not
dead. This treatment of the scalp
is a discovery of Dr. Fitzwater,- of
Hot Springs, Arkansas, and is abso 1
lutely the best known remedy of this
kind sold on the market by any in
stitution in America. Bold exclu
sively at Cline’S Pharmacy. Money
back proposition if results are not
obtained. Be sure to call for On
The Top.
Tonight
>Tomorrow Alright
mako you fool fine.
“letter Than Ella Far Unr Ua”
ii | ,u, iiiii'WTllli
AgfimfmggmpffNmm,
i - .
-
- : ~ \ =*=
FARMER SHARPLY
DEFENDS CO-OPS
'' Replies to Folger’s Attack By Saying
Foigcr is Contract-Breakers’ Law
1, yer.
Washington, Jan., 4.—A strong an
swer to a letter to'•Senator Overman
from John F. Folger, Mount Airy at
torney. who depicted the failure of
, the tobacco growers’ co-operative
, marketing association, was received
' by Senator Overman today from W.
, L. Seal, farmer of Mount Airy.
Seat is a contented co-opSrntive
( farmer and bis letter 'is a strong nn
„ swer to Folger, who he called a law
yer for “contract breakers.” Fol
’ get's letter was given wide publicity.
"Air. Folger says that ue at
speaking for the farmers of this
■ county and for ail the farmers of
‘ the Piedmont section,” writes Mr.
Seal. "He seems to have a wide eir
-1 ele of clients. He may be speaking
for his clients, the contract breakers,
t but he is not speaking for the far
■ mens, but against their best in
. terest.
“He states that the present asso
ciation is unsatisfactory and that 05
- per cent of the members have found
i it detrimental and are dissatisfied
! and di-gusted. I know thnt this is
, not true of my section and do not
- think it true of tbis county. In my
school district we have what is
called a local, and meet at our sctiool
I house to discuss association matters,
i Every man in our district is a mem
ber save one. and every member is
. satisfied and loyal and will sign a
. contract for the next five years. I
t know three other districts near ours
. that feel the same way toward our
association.
| “He says that the members of the
j association have been tried severely
and have loss heart and hope; it is
true that tobacco farmers have suf-
J sered for the past 25 years, with the
j exception of two or three years during
, the war It is also true that we will
( continue to suffer far more than we
have unless we have sense enough
to organize and stay organized.
What is true just now of tobacco
farmers is true of all one crop far
mers over the United States. We
. have all fallen upon hard times on
account of a one.crop system and ex
travagance in the buying of automo
biles. of land at- inflated prices, and
of hundreds of things that we could
! well do without. These are the
causes of our present suffering— not
co-operative marketing.”
Mr. Seal states that 'jn his county
farmers of the association are in
! much better financial shape than
those outside the association. They
1 have not given so many mortgages
and are able to secure cheaper credit
through the credit corporation for
Surry county in order to pay cash
for supplies and fertilizers
He charges that Mr. Folger’s in
frolnation comes only from his con
tract-breaking clients. He states thnt
the 00 suits brought in Surray county,
out of co-operative membership of
; 2.000. Mr. Folger represented "at
least 50 of these, and has lost every
suit save one, and the judge ‘bawled'
the - , jury out in open court for re
lieving this one of his contract.”
, Mr. Seal declared that froth his
observations the kicking farmers in
the association "were either former
warehouse pets, or have been simple
enough to fall for the false and
fraudulent warehouse propaganda
, that has been floated like a cloud of
poison gas over our section."
Now It’s Short-Skirt Flu.
A new disease known as “short
skirt flu" os ranging in London.
England. The victim suffers with
chills which are often followed by
1 rheumatism in the knee and hip
1 joints. The sufferers are all women
who wear the fashionable scanty
skirts *in spite of the winter weath
‘ Ptl.itDoctors claim that this year's
styles expose women to illness more
than ever. They advise wearing
warm knickers with the short flow
ing skirts.
Wife—l hear that: Mrs. De Koltay
is going to Paris for her gowns.
Hub—Judging from her appearance
the last time I saw her, she must
have left her clothes somewhere. “
EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO
[iTHe: surprise: IfU "“1 1
ATTACK*FROM T na^T/'A —i
f SUCCESSFULL S
MET, BY AN ADROIT
-L/ iI, - i IT. |
DINNER i
Bill —Why did you take up chemis
try?
Jack—l thought I could learn how
to make home brew.
He—l wish I could revise the al- ]
I phnbet. 1
She—What witald you do? I
He—l'd put U and I nearer.
Daughter—Just think, mothri-, a
poor worm provided the silk for my
dress. 1
Mother—l'm shocked, daughter, ]
that you should speak of your fattier 1
so disrespectfully.
Peggy—Does your husband talk in 1
his sleep?
Polly—No. and it’s very exasperat- ,
ing, he only smiles.
Wife—You shouldn't punish Bob- 1
by. What makes you think he took
it? It might have been me.
Husband—No, there was some 1
left.
Nothing Doing.
One Monday afternoon two friends
were walking down a back street and 1
beheld a newly hung wash. I
One man. always ready for fun.
said: "There's a couple of shirts that
would fit me.”
"Y'ot bet," the other said, ami ]
laughingly added: "let’s come down to- 1
night and get some clothes.”
They both were astonished and em- (
barrassed when a sheet moved and a 1
woman who was behind it stepped out j
and said, "I think you’d better not.” 1
The Morning After.
Once a man cussed himself on the 1
morning after. Now he cusses his 1
bootlegger and the drys.
Postman Was Peeved. j
The village postman, being an in- j
veterate gossip, could never resist 1
rending the postcards entrusted to him !
to deliver, and then communicating 1
his knowledge to others.
The local doctor was well aware of \
this, and one day, in writing to a
friend who lived in ./the same district,
he added:
“I weuld tell you more, only I |
know the postman will read it.” j
He then posted the card. It was ]
duly collected, taken to the post office ]
and sent out for delivery.
The postman stamped up to the j
house with the card and knocked at 1
the door, and, to the surprise of the 1
elderly woman who answered it, ex- j
claimed angrily:
“Just tell the doctor he’s tollin’ j
’em. I don’t read ’em.”
The stockbroker was very ill. and j
at times delirious. In one of his :
lucid moments be asked the nurse j
what the Inst reading had showy his j
temperature to be.
“One hunder and one," replied the i
ndrse. . ;
“Good,” said the patient. "When
it gets to 101 1-2, sell.”
Mrs. Gragga—l suppose you know' 1
I’m singing in the church choir now? ]
Patient Friend—No. 1 didn't. 1
Mr. Braggn—But surely your
brother Tom told you I had joined
tlie choir? 1
Patient Friend—Oh. yes, he told 1
me that. ,
“Do you think steel stocks will go \
up or down?” asked the inquisitive 1
one.
“Yes.” was the stockbroker’s an- \
sever, ‘“I think they will. They rarely
stand still, and they can't go side
wise !”
Beggar (accosting gentleman on ‘
street) —j've seen better days. sir. ' (
Gent—Sorry, but I’ve no time to 1
discuss the weather.
“Papa.” asked little Willie, “why ■
, do they call it the mother tongue?”
“Well," answered father (who firsj>
makes sure mother isn’t around)
“just see who uses v) :he most.”
Coooooooooooooooooooooooqoooooooooooooooo
r DRY GOODS WOMEN'S WEAtt
oooooooooooooooooooooeoooooooooooooooooooooooooc
N I
TEN YEAR FARM LOANS
!]| Money to loan on Cabarrus County farms at FIVE
!; AND ONE-HALF PER CENT, interest payavle Novem
-1 1 ber of each year. No inspection fees. No life insurance
i ! required. Pre-payment privileges on any interest date.
; J Write or pho'ne for information. ’
Thies-Smith Realty Company |
No. 200 Com. Bldg., Charlotte, N. C. g
PHONES 3278 and 4415 X
( | OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOj*
I PURINA FEED
11 IS THE BEST BY TEST
|i[ Chowder for More Eggs
'|; Cow Chow for More Milk "
< t Pig Chow for More Pork.
Come in and We Will Sell You the Best
CASH FEED STORE .
I PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooci
I POULTRY MARKET HIGHER
We want 500 fat hens and 100 nice turkeys at once, .
and will pay 20c per pound for all hens weighing 4 pounds .
and over, and 30c per pound for turkeys delivered to us by
Tuesday noon, January sth.
f: Why take a chance for more? We believe now is a
| r good time to sell. ?
C. H. BARRIER & CO.
— . . - A
I |<x)000000000000000ca0cxx}06000s00ci000000000000bd0f
DELCO LIGHT
|!| ‘ • .i
Light Plants and Batteries
[ Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter- X
;i| nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al- B
I; ternating Current.
R. H. OWEN, Agent
—Phone 669 Concord, N. C. 8
MXJOOOOOOOCGOOOOOOOOOOOCiOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI
lAlemite Lubricating Service
We do not use any Lubricants except Alemite Trans
mission, Differential and Chaste lubricants, one which al- gs
lows the easy shiftihg of gears even in Zero weacher, and
greatly reduces friction.
I pet alcohol in yous radiator before it freezes.
H Gas, Oil, Tires, Tubes, Accessories, Car Washing,
Tire Changing
CENTRAL FILLING STATION
PHONE 700
—— ————
j H. B. WILKINSON J
PAGE SEVEN