Newspapers / The Concord Daily Tribune … / Jan. 13, 1926, edition 1 / Page 7
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„ c ‘ ' '■ ■ - Wednesday, Jan. Id, lfijd Tbs PoKtical Bee Tree /Hi JL H _.jri«vOk>. j UW*M*M ” 'V ' s ~ holOinct hep o>mm. *.,««««] “***- ‘ J , i... ■ . . t MOM’N POP ; BY TAYLOR 7YvgfeeEN Deceiveb- lfs me? 6obh,vihen? I gther dan "j MATTER LORETTA? I >fol) HAVE MISREPKESBJeD \ IDOtfT REMEMBER 1 VOUSAIDYOUWBMT n VdHVARC VOOSoJ L V«SRSeU=TOME 1 IP ° T p gM ~.^ R J DOWN AMD MADE A J cool Toward yJ H . ' ir J I f cleamob ia)Yhe , j I |, | . , ....... ijl. : J 1 t -ANDVg&TgROAY If WEU- L MIGHT BE A L J l 6 DOLLARS NIORF.O I Told tod the TfepTW- r I discovered That <Sarba6e collector oh chic< thavs , 1 SWEPT UP THE STREET | YOU AR6 DRIVING A BUT OUST THE SAME WOJC.ER.rUL -NOW WC \ ?™ e U, *ON rs SARSAGE TRUCK. f L'M MAKING SixTeEN r CAN Go OUT To A m S Tteusr building f— -* 4 this street: berries more r dinner and show ■ THE CONCOBD DAILY TRIBUNE I - - - - - «'-•—■*•-- - .X :, . - .__ .- .. .. - - - By CHARLES P. STEWART NEA Service Writer Washington, Jan. 12 —One of our leading admiral* took me out to the naval research laboratory, on the other side of the Potomac, not long ngo, to sec sonic scientific experiment al work in progress there. Just what it was has nothing to do with the story. , I didn’t under stand it anyway. The point is that the admiral is very much interested in it and want ed to stir up a little publicity in its behalf, with a view to extracting, 'enough money from Congress to de velop it still farther. .... ■ x So we took a street car. We rode 1 and we rode and finally we came to the end of the line. "Now we gotta get a gasoline wag on,” said the admiral. “Hey!” he called, to an African youth, standing alongside a venerable flivver nearby the'street car terminus. "Can you take ub to the naval laboratory? Ton know where it is, doneha?" "Yassub, yassuh," said the Serie gnmbian. ' ... This flivver was of the model of the early 90’s. It was fastened to gether with wire. A number of the parts were missing entirely. The i Wheels Wubbled—threatened to come j off. in fnct. It had asthma. It had the blind staggers. It had paresis. It had everything. We took a sharp curve o n two wheels. Far down the road ahead of us loomed a huge navy motor track. From the rear a red flag flut tered. "Slow bell! Slow bell!” yelled the admiral. “Great gosh ! Explosives!” ... The dusky driver turned dimly in his seat. "Muh brake’s no good," he observed plaeidly. Well, he missed that truck by the' breadth of a hair, to a chorus (though , only one voice furnished it) of "Port! Hard o’ port! Port y’r helium !” and landed alive at the naval observatory. “You can go home ns you please,” said the admiral, as we got out. “I’m going to take an airplane.” Senator Simmons Right. News and Observer. That is good news that Stnator Simmons, ranking member of the Fi nance Committee is making ready to demand improvements in the re peal measure. It is full of inequali ties and injustices with too much fav oritism to the swollen incomes. It re peals the publicity provision which should be restored. It makes big re ductions on .an income of one hundred thousand dollar* nud no reduction on forty thousand income. Why? That is u question Senator Simmons will ask and demand an answer. -T-Sfo. mtim. will .be mgdv pn the partisan bill. It was drawn to enable the Republican loaders to say in the campaign this fall: “See we have reduced taxes biennially since we oaine into power.” For that pur pose the reductions are only slightly over three hundred million dollars. They conlil be reduced $450,000,900, and should be for the relief of the tax-payers. That would not make it -possible for another reduction for the campaign of 1028. The Democrats in the House lost a golden opjiortimity when they failed to fight the indefensible provisions of thq bill. The House Democrats should have opposed the objectionable provision and refused to let it be tag ged as "a non-partisan measure.” Their failure to measi*ee up to their opportunity imposes n more difficult duty on the minority senators. Reve nue bills must originate in the House. If they are wise, the Senate is not anxious to assume the burden. But when the House sends a half baked and illogical measure over to the up _ per branch, the duty of Senators in clear. EMBARRASSING MOMENTS. New York Mirror. The principal in our school has the \ habit of ' visiting all the rooms every t day. One day during our penmanship period * lie came in anil began to talk to our teacher. A few minutes lutcr I heard the door slam. I was Nitre he had gone out, and without looking up. I said. "Gee, Miss Green, why does Mr. Brown come in here every day?” Not an answer T looked up ami saw’Mr. Brown stand ing beside me. In the history class every morning X amused myself by reaching back with my right hand and punching the knee of the fellow who occupied the seat behind me. morning I reached for his knee, and had no sooner grab bed it, than a book came down with a bang upon my head. Tijo fellow was* at home aiyk and the co-ed had taken his seat. The- Powerhall track in Edin burgh, Scotland, Is generally credited with being the fastest running truck in the world. Just Received two Car Loads of Sparta Feeds—Laying Mash and Da ry F%ed. \ Spaftan Feeds sell beiiuse they get results. Phone us your orders. Cabarrus Cash Grocery Co. _ SPEECHES TO ORDER. The Pathfinder. / . A writer in the Bookman reveals, I with a sort of horror, the existence in i Washington of a going concern whose business it is to furnish public speak ers with speeches for every occasion, j It <has n n hand about 2,000 standard speeches which may be had pretty cheap, and then it stands ready to write special ones to order for those ready to pay the special (trices. . Whether this ls-a good thing or n bad thing it is in line with the pres ent-day tendency. It is a phase of ' specialization. The doctor no longer compounds his medicines. He sends his orders to the pharmacy. A news paper does not think up or draw its own Sunday- comic supplements. It orders them frojn the factory, and they don’t blush because many other pa pers use the game. High government officials have al ways had speeches written for them. The "speeches from the' throne" are always written by a minister who stands humbly by and listens to them | as if he were quite ignorant and inno cent of what's coming. If a presi- j dent had to stop his work and look up j data for and write all the speeches he is called on to make he would have no time fur any other work. Govern ment officials have aiway ■. had speech writers. Some presidents, too, have sent messages to congress which were i so good as to prove beyond question i that a more skillful hand had pro- j pared them. So why Hhould not the regular busi ness man who is called on to make a I speech avail himself of a speech writ er? In most cases, at least, it would be better for both himself and his hearers. If a mnn has confined him self strictly to business in order to become a millionaire and a notable he is at a disadvantage as a speech-mak er. IVhat leisure or what (raining would a nmn like Henry Ford or Jack Dempsey have to make up a good speech? Quantity production is moss econonrctH. When a man becomes famous he is constantly called on to make speeches and write articles. He doesn’t hesi tate to get writers to write his arti cles. All he needs to do is to sign his name, or give permission for its use. Even in a world series of baseball, w-hen the players, especially the man agers, have about as much leisure as firemen answering a third alarm, long articles appear in the newspapers ev ery day under their signatures. And the articles are well written, to >. If them had to address the Rotar ians. or the 'Society for the Suppres sion of Esthetic Dancing among the Heathens he would do well to get his speech written the same way. There is no Use denying it, we arc becoming more and more standardized, specialized ami syndicated. One nmn does your painting. auother your praying and another yotir fishing: while you, perhaps, do their surveying or hair-cutting. It is logical that writing speeches for others should fol low in line. By specializing eaeh job is done better. But it must be admit ted 1 that as we go along we art losing and more of our independence, physically, morally and mentally. HOW DUMB’S A DUMBBELL? New York Mirror. He's so dtimb he thinks an apricot is something to sleep on. He’s so dumb lie thinks a football gridiron is purchased in a hardware store. lie's so dumb he thinks a bellhop is' a debutant dame. He's dumb he thinks Guinea liens are imported from Italy. He's so dumb he thiuks you go to college for a race track course The late Queen Alexandra, like all 1 members of til English royal family, . was a great lover of dogs and at one . time or another showed Chows, I Skyes, Japanese Spaniels, - Basset hounds. Borzois and Pekingese. The l two last-uumed breeds seem to have 1 been her favorites, as she was many j times photographed with them. EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO E—fforsyoc jj ai'Tif |sM , XfiviEcess / A«YAeea<jvj3isU HAVCN'Tt ' r— A *STA r i M *£ln. TSAT '5 W>T| -^ > Mow Do ? I - ? YOU nfevcfi uiTfenigP 'that Coajcs dinner stories Lost Ideals. “Believe me, George, I once had an ideal, to.” “How'did you come to lose it?” “I married her.” ■ Wife—Before you married me you j said I was very dear to ydu. Husband—Yes, you* are now too. You are the biggest expense I have. Doctor—What you need is a change | and rest. i Patient —I can't afford it, my chil- j dreu get all t'.ie change and my wife takes the rest. Teacher—What made you late this' morning. Jimmie? Jimmie—l got a new pair of rub- , ber boots for Christmas and they were tied together so X couldn’t take j long steps. Contributor—l have here an orig inal joke which I Editor—My dear man, you don’t 1 Icok that old. The Bore (at la. m.) —I tteard a J ghost story the ether night—by jove, it did make me start! She—l wish I knew it! Maid (to absent-minded professor) I —Here’s the doctor, sir. 1 Professor—l'm not receiving visi- j tors today. Tell him I'm sick. i “Hazel went to an astrologer to find ) out when was the best time to get married.” “What did he tell her?” “He took one look at her and told her to grab the first chanee.” Young Poet—What do you thihk of my latest brain child? Editor—l'm afraid our magazine will be unable to adopt it! Coal Merchant, to Fireman—Quick, quick: my coal yard is on fire. Fireman—Oh, is it? Well, if the stuff is the same as you sold me the other day there ain’t no hurry.” “Are they unhappily married?” “Oil. I hardly think they’re rich enough for that.” A musician was trying to telephone to a firm of music publishers. Think ing he had been given his number, he said: “I want Beethoven—Op. 243.” •-.“Line's /busy,” said the telephone B*l. First Tramp—Pese people what complain of dere work bein’ too hard make ine tired. Second Tramp—Dey do? First Tramp—Yes; why don’t dey t’row up de job? A little boy was told he must go to the hospital to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. ‘‘Well, mamma/’ said Johnny. “I ain’t afraid of going to tfre hospital. I’ll be brave and do just as they tell me. Put I’m not going to let them palm off a baby on me. like they did to you when you was there.” ‘‘Jedge, yo’ honah," complained an irate colored lady to the court, ‘‘dis yeah no ’count husban’ o’ mine drinks.” “Yassuli. jedge. yo’ honah. Ah does drink some,” admitted the husband. , ‘‘Hut. jedge, dat woman don’t treat me bright. Whyy Ah pawns de kitchen stove V git a li’l money an’ she don’ miss it ftT two weeks.” Judge—You say the officer arrested you while you were quietly minding your own business? t Prisoner—Yes. your honor. Judge—You were quietly attending to your own business, making no noise or disturbance of any kind. Prisoner —none whatever, sir. Judge—lt seems very strange. What is your business. Prisoner—l’m a burglar. . g* 111 * ll ■ 1 «aa *• ■■ ll l | iH'U*i OOOOQOOOOOOOOQOQOOQQOOOOOOQOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ * VANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN'S WEAA - TEN YEAR LOANS \ Cabarrus Farm Lands (Lowest rates,to borrower. No inspection fees. _ l /'//j No Life Insurance—No Stock. Interest due Novem-' U r, ber Ist. Pre-payment privileges on any interest date. ! THIgS-SMITH REALTY COMPANY i, CHARLOTTE, N. C. A. F. HARTSELL, LOCAL AGT.,, CONCORD, N. C. \ J OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQOGOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOe OOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO^' I PURINA FEED IS THE BEST BY TEST Chowder for More Eggs ■ Cow Chow for More Milk ~ Pig Chow for More Pork. Come in and We Will Sell You the Best .9 r ' ’ CASH FEED STORE I PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. S“ / :j Wanted: Chickens and Turkeys! .1 Weather conditions prevented delivery of |s t| last week. t ’ZB? !| Our guaranteed price of 20c per pound for Hens, and I .3 30c per pound for Turkeys is extended to Wednesday, Jan- I . . 2 uary "20th. C. H. BARRIER & CO. | DELCO UGHT I Light Plants and Batteries I Deep and Shallow Well Purfips for Direct or Alter- 9 'i nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al- 5 l 1 ternating Current. R. H. OWEN, Agent I --Phone 669 Concord, N. C. - JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCXKaexSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOI ; DO YOU KNOW 1 5 There ape nearly one million parts assented in an automobile? Most !| 9of them help to make it’go, but there is just one important part to H | make it STOP when you want to—GOOD BRAKE LINING. If 3 We are specialists and use only the Rest*—RX’SCO BRAKE LINING., 1 Leave your car here tomorrow morning and drive it tomorrow’ I night with good brakes. Our charges are reasonable." | We use a ( ADY BRAKE LINING MACHINE which drills ■I -onnter- sinks the ; rivets, together with a riveting machine which uses -4 solid copper tubulhr rivets that never score your brake drums. AUTO SUPPLY & REPAIR CO. I PHONE 228 i 3-Piece (Full Size) Bed, Springs and 11 Mattress, Only $22.50 ii The new Simmons Graceline Bed, Link Fabric Springs, 9jss jj 43-pound Cotton Mattress in Art Tick — j k j i A Really Good Bed Outfit at a Very Good Price. ft] | H. B. WILKINSON j ' Out of the High Rent District fl ;' c Cdncord Kannapolis China Grove Mooresville 1 PAGE SEVEN
The Concord Daily Tribune (Concord, N.C.)
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Jan. 13, 1926, edition 1
7
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