Thursday, March* 4, 1926
Dinner Stories
•fl i .
Feed dealer—You owe me *s3 for
lets, Mo*e, and if yog don't pay me x
11 have to take your fibrse.’
Uncle Mow*—All right, Mista Gug
lenheimer. an’ Ah’ll pay you Se bal
ipee o’ de $3 jest as "eopti as Ah
kin. 1 . . ' „
Weary Walker—_Jfo, ma’am, I aiu’t
lirty from I’loice. I’m bound by hon
-e. I brote a testimonial for a soap
naker once an’ mvntfted to use no
>ther. uy p 4 ■ • . . ~ .
Mrs. Housekeeper—Well.why do]
sou not use thaU
Weary Walker-ißecause, ma’am
that firm failed abowt five years ago.
Clerk—l’ve made a great discov
ir.v. sir. i
Grocer—Well, what is it?
Clerk—l’ve found out that the
eavy end es a match is the light
ad. ;
A young attorney had been talking
r about four hours to a jury wtio,
ten he had finished-, 1 felt like lynch
j him. ... , ,
His opponent, aigrfczled. <d<f pro
ssional, then aftwe and. looking
reetly at the judge, said: I
onor ». i w iU follow tlia ex-:
my young friend who has
St I finished ami subni't the case.'
thout aurgunient.”
Mistress—Maggie, these egge are as
rd as ever. I thought I told you
wanted them soft?
Maggie—Sure, ah* I biled, thpn five
ats this tjjpe, mum, but it don't
m jo make no, difference.
Wife—Mr. Jones is a most attr.ac
e man—is ire married? . f
Susband—l don’t' know. He's a
erved chap—keeps all 'his troubles
himself! \ (
)ealer —Yes, I want a bay to run ’
»nds, but I hope you won’t ob
! to early hours.
Joy—lOh f y. no. I don't *care how
ly you close. * •
Now,- Charles," said the teacher,
your father' can do a piece of work
me houtyaud your mtolicr cap do
1 One hour, how long would it take
i of them to do it?”
Ijhree hours,” answered C'hur'es,
Hinting ttie time they would waste j
arguing.” y
Protect Your Property
and Your Money
mrgy \7 r OUR house, when painted with
d k Marietta House Paints, is practi
\ SfljyPi ® J caiiy guaranteed agahtst the ravages of
H % sou! weather by the Marietta Service
AURORA HUH Certificate. No other paint manufac
turer offers you *gch' a certificate. Ask
"S- ‘ llt us about it tydkf. y
Concord Paint & Paper Company
*42 N. Church Street Phone 16L
Marietta saint service station ' [
EVERETT TRUE ?•“ BY CONDO
[AH*. euePerr, I J|l|top) “'I
can .be wee
m*-- - ■T k ' .-■Jw'- ■
Embarrassing Moments
New York IJa'Jy Mirror.
Ope lAy in. "Washington, D. <3., f
1 met one -pf my wift-'s lady friends and
invited her' to have dinner with me.
We went to n first-ejass restaurant
gnd when I asked for the bill I hap
pened bri mujnbey that I had-left my
poeketbook in my other suit in the
hotel.' When pulling on tny overcoat
my right sleeve swung against one
of the ladles’ hats and knocked it off.
She had ml a wig which fell to the
fioo*.-., ~, ,j .
j The other day, a-girl friend-and I
were out walking.' A young "shiek”
was ontfic other side of the foad..L
j made the remark that he looked .more
like a frfrmer dressed up than he did
j like a “sheik,” ” { ■>
| She repl'ed: “I wish you to
stand that he is my brother.”
It wns Runny afternoon around
ChHstOias time, when my friends,.my
two-year-old niece and myself went to
a hospital to visit a friend of ours. As
the rule is that children under 12
are not permitted to visit patients,
both of us stayed in the wa : ting room,
ft was about 15 minutes Inter 1 wffren
i an old doctor with a long, white beard
' and mustache strolled in. All of a
sudden my niece eit-laimed:
J “Ah, Auntie, look at Santa Claus!"
and suddenly rushed town rd him.
I Imagine my embarrassment when I
saw who she- meant and heard the
laughter of everyone who |was in the
romp.
The Demand for “Smocks.”
. Mmiroe Enquirer.
1 We sec much in Cue papers these
days about “demand for smocks sta
bilizing the fotton goods market
A smock is a long skirt, made
plain, used over the other dress, and
used mostly by workers. It is a
utility garment, and fills a need.'
The general use of such a garment,
and which should prove equally as de
sirable among men as wr men work
ers, wou’d, take much of t'.ie surplus
/tottrtn crop in its manufacture
Could cotton manufacturers gener
ally And 'other and- mqre common use
(ot COtt r n there Still would be a good
price for the staple>t‘Cen when bump
er crojfs are produced. Instead of
tryihg to. induce the Celestial to in
crease rhnr shirt-tail file proverbial
I inch, wc in thin country should do
Jour fiart. ’’ '
BY CHARLES P.' STEWART
NEA Service Writer
Washington-^—Every day, in every
way, the (Congressional- Record's
drong, if King’s not in it. That’s
wbat the-Emoot-ites say about: Sen
ator Kins of Utah.
Senator Smoot and King are good
friends all right.
Nevertheless, the former's sup
porters do complain a bit, that every
time anything’s done in Washington
in'Utah’s interest. Aimehow or other
King manages to grab off the credit
for it. i »
* * *
'.They’re a queer pair to represent
the same state at the same time in
the tipper house of Congress.
Smoot, th>> dry, practiafil, huiAor
less, mentally and physically an
gular old Mormon man of business.
A pillar of the Republican party. A
comervative of conservatives.
King a Mor-rafip, like Smoot, but
otherwise his exact opposite. The
suave. poiijAed, uimlble-wfifted law
yer. jocular, flowery. One of the
handsomest figures in the Senate. A
leader on the Democratic side. f
the chamber. Rather inclined to poli
ticial liberality. • . '
* • »
Oh yea, they're very friendly, a'
dollegues ought to be.
Mrs. Smoot and Mrs. King go to
parties aud receptions und all sor\s
of , gogia! filfietions together. Still—
Well, Senator. King bfts a pen
chant for teasipg • Senator Smoot.
He’s good ns it and Smoot is dis
tinct'y tcasablc. '
Is Everybody Happy?
Winston-Salem Journal. —'
Tom Jimison says he would rather
be a street ■ sweeper in the city of
Charlotte’ t'.iaii to be mayor of Wiq»
fon-Salcm.
Good for Tom. We’re glad he’jft
happy. 'ln fact, everybody's
We are sure the people of iVi n gbßjel
Salem would rather let him «IM|
sfrfets in Chqilotte than be'mayor of
Wiaston-Suiem.
There are, -no doubt, quite a few in
our midst who will agree with the
Charlotte’ Rotary Club—vJhioh, by the
way, got happy at Tom’s ex
pense—that Me. flimispn As better
fitted fur street sweeper than for the
mayor’s job anyhow.
But that’s a matter between Tom
and Charlotte. For once Winston-
Salem is happy to be on the sidelines.
Yrs, everybody’s happy.
Luis Fjrpo and Paul Berienbncli
began their cJiyeers as WMytlers.. A
number of prominent wrestlers, in
cluding French Gotch. I)t Roller and
Wayne Ilium, tried to became box
ers, but failures iu the
mitt ganie.
If you tdll us of ycui*\®
plans for effecting aIS
-2 change of lighting fix
turcs in your home we
Jfl will furnish you with a
minimum estimate of
what it will cost to do L •
the job rigbt U I
lafl “Fixtures of Character” £
W. J. HETHCGX |.
We keep at all
timet a complete
M&ortmentof East
man Kodaks and
accessories.
—On Sale at-
Qibson Drug Store
(Authorized
Agents)
ML it .."'i.. 1 .!.i ...r j
Help! Help!
Help yopr favorite contest
ant win a Free trip to Califor
nia by trading with us. Help
( yyur»elf by buying the splen
did values we have to offer in
Groceries, Flour and Feeds.,
CABARRUS CASH GRO
CERY CO. ,
P* S.—Fresh Fish aud Oysters
! Friday and Saturday.
THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE
The Last Long Mile
' ~ ' BY Williams'
EU.A \ 1-f OFF GOOD'M /T.
ThsttS, \ a cleAmi I'u. ar l :
-Hi- MPv “SOME. MORE BCT-reP'bJ t
—I > ;OLGu,f J: OM iF VA J EA-rWi iT
/ A ~ >S ' WVPIMNA'. 'SMPnk iW f W -XN\X\A A v J ; /
eul licks A'S vA LJk spook! •. \/V r
WAUT: HOW Boor \tvv/
WB? m AMOTHE.R L .
|e ’ To LIVE OMER-> ; -fe* -
tv - “TvAE. ,KdOl- A l o < BE l o JUGr. ■ ei926 B< St* acsvicr. ISC J-V f
MOM’N POP . BY TAYLOR
CHICk there's ajT LOi?.ETTA f r AM 018 fUIEND h£lLO OIDPEAP -C. ''
A CkOOD SHOW AT THE M t-’MWJwa Mv S e Auuw& OMVOU | k-WST HAPPENED TO )
PALACE TVlt WIBEK AND cI»iEX"rT JSt, LORETTA- ABE IN TOWN AND 1 J
VIE HAVEN'T BEEN TO A W TO BE- \ EDMUND Ati THOUCtHT I’D LOOK f
&0 00- VJE USED Li .lototplbisures, 1 ; mM B Tflr
~~ ~ | \S I
f MB.BUCK-This T JUST A N&iawßQg No EXCUSES ACCEPTED!
*' IS MB. (Sunn A EH ? WELL ft|lT Til HAVE TICKETS FOR
■WHO uvfiS GET your Glad W TJ®,l % THE Show and rgf OHEOMUND-\
, C x r| RAGS ON LORETTA J 11? RKERUATIONSTbR W Qlt> ]
i ‘) AMD vug’LL GjO ( V A TaolE AT THE .. A . r
? - GET ME
0 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000< 1t P«;
I'- m/
FANCY DRY GOOt>S WOMEN’S WEAR |
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oooocooooooooooooooooooaooooooooooooooooooooooooo
§ Let Us Insure the Life of Your
Baby Chicks
s By Feeding Them Startina and
Baby Chic Chow
§ We have plenty on hand all the time. Also Chicken \
2 Chowder and Hen Chow. Wifi give you more eggs.
§ Cash Feed Store
g PHONE 122 - SOUTH CHURCH ST.
OOOOQOOOG&OOOQOQQQOGOOQOOOOOQQOOCOOOOOCGOOOOOOOOO
I Last Call For 20c Hens! i
5 Fair Warning!
3j If you have any more Hens to sell this Spring let us
have them by Thursday noon or this week. We don’t
■ mean Friday. i
■ We want Fifteen Hundred pounds by that time and
! will guarantee price until then. W*e are buying agent in
• Cabarrus County for one of the largest poultry "dealers in
the South and that is why we are able to to guarahtee
i prices and pay more than other local dealers.
i C. H. BARRIER & CO.
■ ■ ■ ■ *' ; «■■ v
30000000000000000CwOQ0(XXX3O0OOC«XX)0OCKXX)0COOO000pi
I DELCO LIGHT j
Light Plants and Batteries
1 Deep and Sh'&liow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter- ! ,
1° nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al- g
ternating Current.
R. H. OWEN, Agent
.—Phone 669 1 Concord, N. C.
JOOoaoooooooooooofxxxxxxxxxxxMboooooodooooooooooat'
• / ; -—y,
| Alemite Lubricating Service ]
H Drive your car around and let us grease It with ALEMITE CHASSIS H
ip and TRANSMISSION LUBRICANT, a lubricant that really allows jjjj
| die easy sh sting of gears, even in zero weather, and one that really ■
Sj makes a difference in the flexibility of the springs, and riding quali- B
j| ties of your car. v
fe CAR WASHING TIRE CHANGING FREE CRANK CASE i
SERVICE
1 < Qentral Filling Station j
PIIONE 700
tXiOOOOOOOOCMXIOOOOOOO^OOOOOCCOOCOCOOOOOCIOOOOOOOOCX
| Refrigerators Refrigerators I
j ' i
1 8 Just received a solid car load of the world fhmous Gur- j j
5 nev Refrigerators,. Many- different sizes and styles to- I
O vhoose from. A price to meet every pocketbook. Come 5
2 in and see them tpday.
jx e give Reeves Tour Votes on all cash purchases and 1 j
S 300 per dollar on collections.
H. B. WILKINSON
X Out of the High Rent District. Where Parking Space Is Plentiful
Q and time unlimited.
,0 Concord Kannapolis, Mooresville China Grove
j
HHot|Waterf
This gas hot water heater
is surely a friend in need and
a friend indeed of every cook
match and in a few minutes
steaming hot water will run
' " Pays for itself quiddy/ *
E. B. GRADY
IJL.UMRING AND HEATING DEALER
QMice and Show Jfcobm 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W
PAGE SIX