Newspapers / The Concord Daily Tribune … / March 12, 1926, edition 1 / Page 7
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m&xF I v - r| 4ay, March 12, 1626 1 nil HP IW'VIW.VUII Y Dinner Stones >r ,k s " , -L --t«dy: “Are yon sure that this century plant will bloom in one een ttnarr Salesman: “If it doesn't you can i bring it back, Madame.” Manager—What is your name? Applicant—John. Manager—l mean your full name. Applicant—lt's John, whether I'm fuH or not. » Teacher—Why are you late? Pupil—A man lost a dollar bill and there were a hundred people look ing for it. Teacher—That is no excuse. , Pupil—l’ll aay it is, I >was stand ing on it. i At a railway aiding a man asked the foreman for a Job. “What can you do?” the foreman. •‘Anything.” replied the man. “All right.” replied the foremnn. “take this .oil Can and oil the points ind crossings up the line." Three days later the foreman re ceived a telegrdm which read: “Arrived at Detroit, please for ward more oil.” business man stepped into a '.ma&ter's shop. "A piece of beef for resting,” he ordered briskly. The meat, mostly bone, was thrown on the scales. “took here,” remonstrated the man,' “you arc giving me a big piece of bone." “Oh, no, I ain’t.” said the butcher, blandly, ‘-'yer paying for it.” Indignant aytoist (to man driving next car—Here, you duffer; traffic esw way .only here. Don’t you know thyt? Hbe Duffer—Well, I’m—hie —only goin’ one way, ain't I? Prfcfessor—When you examine pa tient's lungs with a microscope what do you see? , Smart Pupil—The seat of hi» \ t8 ‘ ... __ * 'Malabo—Were you sick with the flu,\Rastua? •Raiitus— Man, I wuz so sick that every night I looked in the casualty list for my name it's been half an hour since I ordered-that turtle soup. Waiter —Sorry, sir, but you know how turtles are. Protect Your Property and Your Money |i3egE9M*P||J house, when painted with A h ■ Marietta House Paints, is pracd \ j| * caily guaranteed against the wages of B % fonJ weather by the Marietta Service A pjyjj Certificate. No other paint manufac turer olSers you such a certificate. Asi Concord Paint& Paper Company 342 N. Church Street Phone 16L MARIETTA PAINT EVERETT TRUE RY CONDO } QAUUSS> up m Opr=lC<S. -two TlHtsW 1 TO-pAX. AN© BOT-H -TlW«s.s. T*-}C,Y Yc*J -HAS> BOf TiiAT H4tD OUT A<SAIM. Wteßg : : i! i p/we TO eXRAM ALL m iMoVe MGNTS C5Ve-R V _ At-WAVS JUtT . Till Vou (SbT V -H&M 11-J7S* l<f?i -- Cutest Things I New York Daily Mirror. i Little Georgie had been listening to > the Older boys talking about "good j /turns.” He went out to play aud in 1 a short time came buck. “Mom,’ he said, “I did & goad turn. | I licked two kittens for the older j mathef yat.” Six-year-old Dotty was used to hearing more or less talk at home! about advertising, as both her parents were in the advertising business. Lgst Sunday, she brought home a text; from Sunday school. Her mother ask- j ed what it was. 1 “Oh,” - she said, shrugging ber| shoulders, “only a little ad. about Heaven." ' “Little boy can you tell me why we celebrate Washmgton’s birthday?” “yes’m. ’Cause "here ain’t no school.” ( TODAY'S EVENTS Friday, March 12, 1826 Festival of St. Gregory the Great. Observance of Arbor Day in Okla h-ina ain New Mexico. Seventy-five years ago today Ne vada City, Calif., was almost wiped out by fire. One hundredth anniversary of the birth of Robert Lowry, who wrote “I Need Thee Every Hour,” and other ' famous hymns. ' Oue hundred and fifty years ago today was brrn Lady Hester Stan hope, the brilliant niece and compan ion of William Pitt. The Rt. Rev. Joseph Schrembs, bishop of the Roman Catholic <jio oese of Cleveland, today celebrates his (!oth birthday anniversary. New Orleans hold a special elec tion trday to choose a mayor in suc cession to the late Martin Behrman. Arthur J. O’Keefe, coinmisioner of public finance,, is expected to be elected without opposition. lam weary of my crying; my throat is dried; nvno eyes fail while I wait fqr my God. I O God, th.p k nowest my foolish ness, and ray sins are not hid from thee.—Psalms LXIX. 1,2, 3 and 5. I -es- ; I Mrs. Marion Cleveland Dell, daugh ter of President Grover Cleveland, has won a Paris divorce from William Stanley . Dell, whom site married at Princeton, N. J., in 11137. Auk Shut a Five Gofer BUI to Auntie But Undo gam’ll Get It. | BY CHARLES *>. STEWART ! NEA Service Writer [ Washington—-Jack, surname nu-. TTcnown, wrote an affectionate letter to “Dear Auntie.” Jack nevpr will take any prizes in i penmanship, but experts, at the dead letter office did manage to dope out ;; the ’Dear Auntie’ part and were able jto get the general impression that \ Nephew Jack was fond Os and •; solicitous concerning her. I Seemingly “Dear Auntie” was in ’ financial straits, so jack pinned a $5 I bill to his letter. ** * * The dead letter office has some sharks at making sense out. .of hard handwriting, hut this specimen Stumped ’em. So Jack’s uncle. Samupl, wifi get the former’s $5 bill, after it's been held for ’ a year, instead of “Pear Auntie.” That is to say, it will be turned in to the treasury, as a pres ent from Jack, since there's nothing else to b done With it. ** * V Now, wouldn’t you . think folks would be more careful with their mail, especially the kind they put money in? Sure you would. So would the Postoffice Department. It knows -they’re not, hoWever. The dead letter office is averaging , au. annual turnover jnst now of 22,- OOfl.QOf) letters aud 803,000 packages.! It took $125,000 cash out of last year's orphan mail. .It finally found ! the owners of $70,000 of it, but $55,- , 000 -was hopeless and the treasury got it. This doesn’t include $3,000,- 000 in cheeks, drafts and money or ders. Hour’s Antisotic Oil. Kmwa ■> Snake Oil Gets Creeping and Crawling Down Into Creaky, Stiff and Sw<*H*» Joint*. Limbering ’Em t'p in a Few Minutes. This great oil, known as “SNAKE OIL,” is the only thing of itsjdnd yet llscbvered. Wjft penetrate the thick est sole 'leather in 3 minutes, then there is little wonder it re'ieves Rheumatism, Neuralgia,, Neuritis, Stiff- Joints, Chest Colds and ,Sore Threat almost like magic. ’Over 5- 000,00 .bottles sold under absolute guarantee and less than a dozen bottles returned, a record .never be fore equal ley by any pain remedy. Don’t suffer lunger, get this most pen etrating liminet nnd know Whitt it megns to be free from pain. Now on sale, all leading druggists.—(Adv.) S TT? Yes, you will look up and congratulate yourself rs , for having installed our trir- lighting fixtures . They really render a service of two kinds. Primarily, JcTJ they furnish you with ef ficient light, and they are fjjh decoratjv* also. fjjj| “Fixtures of Character” II >v. #. HETHCCX L Q VV. Depot St. Phone 669 > We keep at all times a comjSlete assortment of Easi* man Kodaks and accessories. —-On Sale at — Gibson Drug Store (Authorized Agents) -^S!TTT mm - '-..■1 - L —i.t... J, B Extra Nice Mountain Honey 3 Pounds Net Weight Jar 9*# 95 e It’s f ine Ws?7 \ CABARRUS CASH GRO CERY CO. PHONE 571 W P S.—Red Bliss gnd CobWer Seed Potatoes and .Garden Seed .> 5.; i: > f ■ f THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE s.. OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS ;■ • - V . . •• 4 r- /"THREE. Ju& meads \ L i ANl’ a CHUCK WAGSWd! \ /EF 1 HEMToH \ FOLLA / q wnj 1 KA£ALS,IWA ASOtVJ ! LA TEmPLPmim-T T' SiT ME f\ I i K EF VOH-T'HIKJK RESTROmT WAITfeRS _ slovw£r -than fools. " MOM OOGHToi fRV AvjaiTvw FER yJJ?.wIL,s I s C , l 'Some dad g. mules. >,wi MOM’N POP * BY TAYLOR ,If viwteß i’ll have SfMc ‘ov-tail C t’\)e Seen %'if PSksoa) 1 Bon - g|NOW- SoUt>-Ah> ENTRA Thick; TENDERIOI.m 7 ka.'Ai't i a»& F O R Ml' SHE iA«£S - IMG steak:-hash e.Rows p otatoes - j loß&tta-s V Comamce w" t « Chick, k- That N r a-oewer - i'v I >s p t \epv . ( ; THE BIQ ( AMdVcou’pll of&yto f Tc | ALC 5 psj L s ) HEARTED ) V<ELL EDMUND-\MH6RE hale / l. }\ of' TV? 8 YOU Tc \ ED/VIL2JD ( ''OU BEEK KEEP INS, - \ D 'i E -^' T JA *£K TC T,m£ - J r J " Tsvk ? MV novice AND JUST 'GMOgEHEK l’l f KNELL THANKS EVER KjHbKI W FOR A FSVAt DAVS- VOU'UE BEEN [ S® MUCH FOR. THE LUNCH j lAXh HER ROYAoLW Since you came To / MR TYTE - AND a’ntouSANp W?//MiwWm l Town - remember that -Assfehice / \ Times more for the 1 tM makes the heart grow fonder.' / ”>V <3OOO advice 'F'f* A^xrfm . Mk-SHE’LL GOON MiSS The vUOvpEeFuk S JfOlfi V - || |t timsS vdu’ve seen showimS. her j mk. sah 1 Mm 1 ———' ”^ No Argument Here FANCY DRY GOODS / WOMEN’S WEA'R Let Us Insure the Life of Your Baby Chicks By Feeding Them Startina and Baby Chic Chow We have plenty on hand all the time. Also Chicken Chowder and Hen Chow. Will give you more eggs. Cash Feed Store PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. jj t |: We Deliver—Rain, Hail, Snow or | Shine If it's to eat you can nearly always get it lure. | Our :j;crc is just as ckis? to you as your telephone. ~j Our prompt delivery service, rumbinyd with year telephone, is the 1 ' greatest convenience a busy housewife cain have. It enables you to 1 j *l° ycur food sliopnine in just a few minutes instead of a half hour, g or an hour cr more. * •• j Beat possible Service, best possible Quality and lowest possible j Prices. That is cur motts. C. H. BARRIER & CO. DELCO LIGHT i Light Plants and Batteries Deep and. Shaliow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter-'i nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al ternating Current. R. H. OWEN, Agent - iPhone 669 r Concord, N. C. ROTTER BORING BAR We have installed a Rotter Boring Bar which enables jus to re- ' bore your motor without removing tile bioch from the frame, thereby**, saving • you practically one-third the cost of ordinary overhaul jobs. ,♦ ■ AVe alsa have a Brake Lining Machine which drills and counter s.'ngs so that tlie rivets never come i:i contact with the brake drum, al so riveting machine which uses sc-lid copper tubular .rivets. dust, give us a trial and be convinced. RUSCO BRAKE LIKING, PREST-O-LITE BATTERIES AND ACCESSORIES Auto Supply & Repair Co. FA¥HITOEY WEFIt I Vaby&mags March 15th to 21st You want the finest carriage you can find for your baby. We offer you the Whitney Coaches as the most beautiful carriages in the world, and we have priced them with extreme modera- ! | tion. For comfort, for beauty, for strength and long service ' —buy the Whitney Coach. Let the \\ hitney Coach carry your baby safely and com- . fortably over the smooth road to childhood’ Come in and sec them today—One of the largest stocks ever > i shown m Concord. H. B. WILKINSON Out of the High Rent District, Where Parking Space Is Plentiful and time unlimited. Concord Kannapolis, Moorcsviile China Grove } KHot Water |j This gas hot water heater j \ is surely a friend in need and ; a friend indeed of every cook match and in a few minutes steaming hot water wilj run Let us install one fax’ yofL I . Pays for itself quickly. ' EB. GRADY iJ PLUMBING AND HEATJKG DEALEE ■'jSj Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Pho«« 83Allfc’'3»jy PAGE SEVEN
The Concord Daily Tribune (Concord, N.C.)
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March 12, 1926, edition 1
7
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