Saturday, March 26, 1926
Dinner Stories
V— "■"-*■ 1,1. ■ I ■—»
“■How did Et'jfl come to marry a
miserable apeeiinen like that?”
“Well, you see, she met bim during
the January sales, and be looked so
reduced." -
Salesman! at show) —This is the'
type of cor that pays for* itself, air.
Perspective Buyer—Well, as aeon
as it has done that you can hare K
delivered at njy garage. . ,1
Would-Be Author—So you like my ,
book. What part do you particular-,
ly like? .
Miss Innocent—Oh, I think those
'quotations from I-ongfeliow are sptex-1
did! * • ,
Smith—Before Qoldie was married
he said he’d be boss in his own’house_
or know tbe reason why.
Jonee—And now he’s married?
Smil’j—He knows the. reason why.
Tommy—Dad, Dad ; there's the
' twrgiar!
i Dad, creeping up to bed again— ]
How many times have I told you jiot
to point?
]£ i r~ I
I Mrs. Highup (wearily)—A wom
ans work is never done.
tScMrs. Way up (drearily)—Too true.
* uum may get rich and retire from
business, but a woman must go on
making and receiving calls to the
day of her death.
Silas —I Hce The Are house has
burued down over to Pleasant Cor
ners.
Clint—Yea, but the boys got back
from lodge in time to save the auto
matic engine—and then new fire ex
tinguishers.
Mother—Bobbie, I notice that your
sister took the smaller apple. Did
you let her have her choice, as 1 told
you to?
Bobbie —Yes. I told her s'ae could
have the little one or none, and she
chose the little one.
Customer (in drug store) —Give me
a small bottle of castor oil.
Druggist (wrapping up bottlep-
Tlmt will be 20 cents—ls for tbe oil
and five for the bottle.
• iCustomer—But last week I bought
the same thing here and you didn’t
charge -me for (lie bottle. ,
Druggist—That's my mistake, then.-
You can just pay me 25 cents now.
V*4 \\w .. •
ft *
Protect Your Property
and Your Money
XT’OUJI house, when painted with
A fjffifff k ' * Marietta House Paints, is practi
\ 0 I caily guaranteed against the ravages of
Bf| foul weather by the Marietta Service
OffiOßA HllS Certificate. No other paint manufac
lurer offers you such a certificate. Ask
m about it today.
Concord Paint & Paper Company
542 N. Church Btreet v Phone 10L
MAIUKTTA PAINT STAnO* ’
EVERETT TRUE ~ ’ BY CONDO
1 1,1 S—gM ) —1 1 -'■
CISTCN* €V£fceTTl 'CO(J'X> *rAKtC A 0X1) J
&X tO HPO
F«EC im
u» At
pc shasbmw
Stingiest Person
New York Daily Mirror. j
Tbe stipgteat person I know is a
girl \Vho invited some friends to a
party at her house and in order not
to spend money on postage stamps
went around and placed the isvith
tions Tq W friends’ Utter boxes.
The stingiest person I ever met was
a man who fanned s bucket of water
all day sa he didn’t have to buy ice.
. The stfugiest person I kqow ia tbe
mah who tells his wife when leaving
.home in the morning. '’lf I'm not home
I for dinner FU tail yon on tbe tele
| phone at six o'clock and don’t answer
Tt so that I will get my nickel back.’’
j The stingiest- person I know is the
, man who sold me a canary which
I turned out to be a sparrow after its
first bath.
Bishop Darlington thinks the body
of Woodrow Wilson should lie in Ar
lington Cemetery, where repose the
remains of Bryan, rather than iq the
Episcopal Cathedral at Washington.
| Be Your Own Weather Man.
. These rules will help you to know
j whnt to expect:
! 1. When birds ruffle or peck their
feathers or huddle together, look out
lor changes in toe weather.
2. Elies get worse on approaching
storms. .'
3. Heavy dew tqeans dry weather
to follow.
4. Soft-looking cloihlh mean fine
weather to come, moderate'winds.
5. Evening rad and morning gray
will set tbe traveler on his way; eve
ning gray and morning red will bring
down rain upon his head.' Rad at
•night, camper's delight; red at morn
ings, camper's warning.
(1. Red eastern sky at sunset means
bad weather to follow.
7. A strip of seaweed hung in the
house in fine weather keeps dry and
dusty-like, on coming rainy in gets
wet. damp and sticky, |
8. When hogs carry straw in their
mouths it Is a sign of a sudden big
drop in temperature.
While the above signs may not in
all cases be correct, yet by many peo
ple nicy are considered, very reliable,
and/ Nos 7 and 8 may be considered
as positive signs. *
Bowing and planting must be done
under a waxing moon, leaping and
cutting under a waning moon, accord
• ing to an ancient belief that stilL ex
ista in certain sections of the world.
Nt.i.t s. ov Casas, wm a*
willing Member of Ford Peace
* . Junket.
BY CHARLES P. BTEWABT
NEA Service Writer
Washington, March 19—Now comes
the news that Louis B. Hana/’of
Fargo, is a candidate for the North
Dakota United States sCnatorship
now he’d by Gerald P. Nye, of Coop
erate wn.
Dispatches mention Hanna as an
ex-member of the national house of
representatives, an ex-governor of
North Dakota, an ex-Red Cross offi
cial, a bank president, kn LL. D„ a
Cougregationalist, a Mason, the proud
possessor of the Norwegian grand
(first rank) of St. 'Olaf and
manager of the North Dakota Cool
idge campaign in 1924.
But dispatches omit the juiciest
detail in the entire collection.
• • *
Hanna was one of the very, very
few rational individuals who, by pure
accident, went to Europe in 1915
with the Ford peace expedition.
Now the rational folks along with
that expedition were the funniest
part of it. The pea A nuts were
plain Uutty and you expected ’em to
act; that way. BOt tbe rational ones,
as soon as they realized what they
were mixed up in. were wild to get
out of it, so’f to stop being made to
loojk so ridiculous.
- But how could they? They were
in the middle of the North Atlantic.
They were stuck for two weeks of
it anyway. They didn’t relish evAn
two weeks of that kind of advertise
ing.
* * *
It’s easy to see how Elnnntv was
hooked.
Me was governor at the time. He
got an invitation and it looked nat
ural to him that he should get it, on
the strength of his position.
He was away out in North Dako
ta, where lie didn’t realize what a col
lection of freaks was being assembled
for the peace drive. Hp had an idea
it was going to be an aggregation of
lionest-to-goodiTess notabilities, with
whom it would be, creditable to him
to be associated.
Apparently it was going to be a
nice trip, too—free, likewise.
The president of the University of
Indiaim deplores the passing of fam
ily prayers on tbe ground that, “they
arc occasions In which to lift the
thoughts away from cares of life and
to seek that divine pence which
passeth undefstanding."
Helen Wills, the American woman
tennis champion, began to play the
game before she was eleven yean
old. unfl at the age of fifteen she
won tier first national title—the
glrV championship.
ilQilltJ
Far each maa and woman,
friend and neighbor
I'm A. live Wire, the labor
saver. <
’lni tbe. snappy, full of pep chap
who lifts ,the gloom from homes that
needed to get acquainted with the
wonderful Weaving- known as electric
ity. I light up your t-ooins and halls,
sweep your carpets and run your sew
ing machines, heat your homes and
ljght up everybody’s pathway in life.
tUcaf&j
W.J,HETHC(»
TOwfoSS-lewraaSjOT: .concdton.i
We keep at all
tones a complete
assortment of East
man Kodaks and
accessories.
—On Sale at—
Gibson Drug Store
(Authorized .
Agents)
*£■!■■■!--■ !• 1 ."» »■ .Ts" L
POOD FOR
Every Family
Don’t worry about your
meals; jupt phone us. \W can
supply you in Groceries,
Fresh bruits and Vegetables,
and in Canned Goods. We can
Wit any family, large or small,
for we carry three sizes (Num
ber 1, 2 ajid 3 cans)
Sanitary Grocery
Company
THE CONCORD DAILY ffctBUNE
Giving the Old Tree a Good Work-Out
OUT OUR WAY . BY WILLIAMS
' DiDki’X AjERW
*./. use mo \ iTs all im "Th sample.. Sot W'Fe&l am cracked-Th’
I MICROMETERS | FEEL! TwtS 308 < =’° ,fe ' “1W BULLjS <aAG ABooT
' las Place uas-t" be right lt6 Al l t afraio -t -tkers s A rt/
1 VsiOßw<EO. Oov/mTO A . FEEL-AM SEE - IKJ momBERS' n
. SO-1-1-WELL, TMOuSAMDIA '' IF MOO DOmT MEvjER WORKED
! I AimT sot see WAT FEEL VNELE- VH’
i TKATOELLICOT -TAie reads-
MOWN POP - BY TAYLOR
A WEEK AGO SHE WAS MINE -TODAy'\ 'SWf -EDMUND BUCK-VOU HAVE STOLEN
1 SHE’S THE WIFE OF EDMUND BUCK- ) % ALL THAT I HAD IN THE WORLD BUT T=
\ That csuy must have made her / Vou will pay for it some day-You J
l "Think he wa4 Rolling in J will crinse At my feet and. beg \
T OOIICsH - CURSES ON THE f FoS MEACY BUT WHAT COMPASSION )
V POWER OF MONEY" J >| ®»1 WILL I SHOhl FOR A SCOUNDREL *-/
——• T, j|
RwurTuiKi’ W BETTER TRY ONE '\/'"TT ALL I.jSAip WAS » TRY ONE -OF
EAT » OF‘SUCK’S ICE „ / BUCK’S ICE CREAM SANDWICHES*
Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that 9 '
T ou get the yellow checkered Bag f
and then you will know that you |
have got the original Startina to 1
feed your baby chix bn. ’ J
Cash Feed Store I"
PHONE 122 - SOUTH CHURCH ST.
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I <'U should know how
, O'livcnicnt it is. at this
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DELCO LIGHT J
Light Plants and Batteries \
Oi
Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter- 9
nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al- *.
ternating Current. 8
R. H. OWEN, Agent
—Phone 669 Concord, N. C. 8
—
BATTERIES 1
Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and g*
Chevrolets
PREST-O-LITE $15.60
COLUMBIA $11.95
Compare These Prices.
REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS
PHONE 228
(Studebaker Sales and Service) w
Auto Supply & Repair Co.
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If Baby Could Choose You’d Buy a ijl
' WHITNEY
► „ Ihtby can t toll you how Wonderfully comfortable those beautiful i
i Whitney Carriages arc. But you will easily appreciate the infinite V
| pains that have been’ taken to keep baby happy and contented. The *\
, hitney will hold your little baby almost as tender]v as a woman's ['
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i them. i
| Come and see one of the largest variety of .Baby Carriages ever ]<|
shown in Concord.
H. B. WILKINSON 1
| out tb ® High Reut District, Wiirre Partin* Npaec Is Plentiful ' |
i and time unlimited.
i Concord Kannapolis, Mooresyille Cliina Grove 1
Hot Water
IQ| from the faucet—enough for
JHHHhbS Let us install one for’ yoo.
Pays for itself quickly. .
E»B. GRADY
PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER
o*ce and Shew Room 59 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W * -
PAGE SEVEN