Monday, March 22, 1026 Dinner Stories “S»W-JT«r.” | “Would you like an airbhip trip for a honeymoon tour?’’ "No, there wouldn’t be any tun nels.” , Smart Pupil. Professor—When you examine pa tients’ lungs with a microscope what do you see? Smart Pupil—The seat of his pants. Same Thing. I Doctor—Are you married? 1 Much-bandaged Patient—No: I got run down by an auto speed artist. Reserved. S Wife—Mr. Jones i« a most attrae ■ve man; is he married? ■ Husband—He’s a reserved Chap— ■peps all his troubles to himself! One Way Traffic. ■lndignant Autoist (to man driving Bkt car)—Here, you duffer; traffic Bk way only here. Don't you know ■t? Duffer—Well. I'm—hie—only Bn’ v one way, ain’t I? k? $ fo' & ~ .» ti 4 st.-: - i ■ No Secret.. Bold Man—You can put in your ■Bnpaper, young man. that my se- Berof health is eatin’ lots of onions Biry day. ■Reporter—What makes you refer as a secret? ,i I V, . No Difference. —Maggie, these eggs areas as ever. I thought I told you them soft? —Sure an’ I biled them five this time, mum, but it didn't to make no difference. k Wculd Shatter Faith. would you feel,” asked Sapleigh, “if you were to re- Hre me for a Christmas gift?” KWell.” answered the fair girl, “it would sliatter my faith jn Claus.” Bp Bound by Honor. Walker —No, ma’am, I ain't from choice. I’m bound by I wrote a testimonial for a once an’ promised to use other. ■Mrs. Housekeeper—Well, why do B>u not use that? ■ Weary Walker—Because, ma'am. Hat firm failed about five years ago. Protect Your Property and Your Money sip A.i»*■ house, when painted with / hout it today. Concord Paint & Paper Company 342 N. Church Street Phone 16L MARIETTA PAINT SERVICE STATION EVERETT TRUE BY CONDO tie-v. tve-efe-xr" 1-1 I HAvcs to nakca 1 Tests ; t t\oc.i> on A MIMUT& —Tee-H&fe-—1 IT * 1 COULDN'T ' .** AT 30CH CGO's.e | '(f —yp_\ - ~~ 'iWr~ flj Lci-rs as ue» w**t \q- jo Embarrassing: Moments New York Daily Mirror. I had an important business prop osition whose success depended upon bow I presented it before a certain body of influential business men. Naturally, I wanted to make a good impression. I launched into my subject with ev ery confidence that I would win. I was thoroughly acquainted with every phase of the proposition and. wi/ a good talker. I could see from the expression on the faces of several of the men that my remarks were being favorably ac-. cepted. Thus encouraged, I waxed warmer as I proceeded to present the most important issue. * * Crash! What was that? My false te.eth hud fallen with a clatter upon the polished surface of the table before which I stood. I was facing my, audience toothless. It was a horrible moment. Only my keen sense of humor saved the sit uation. Nevertheless, if there had been n hole in the floor, I certainly would have stepped into it and most likely been falling yet. Silk Stocking Coupon Craze. Monroe Enquirer. The Silk Stocking coupon craze has at last reached Monroe. The plan is to purchase a coupon for*one dollar, sell three other coupons to neighbors or friends, “and receive a five-dollar pair of hose,” after said neighbors or friends have purchased one and sold three other coupons to neighbors or friends—on and on ad infinitum. Looks as if some of these self-same Monroe ladies who get into the game at the eleventh hour are going to be left with the bag to hold. And if they are going to depend upon the coupon scheme for their hosiery needs this summer they will have nothing to roll. Impossible. “Henry, it’s raining cats and dogs We must lend Mrs. Whitaker an um brella or she will get drenched going home.” “My dear, it’s impossible. The on ly umbrella we’ve got has her hus band’s name engraved on it." •lark Knew His Business. “I cannot understand, Jack, why you always sit on the piano stool when we have company. Every one knows you cannot play a note" "I'm well aware of it. dear. Neith er can anybody c’.sc when I am sit ting there.” Governor Ritchie Favors Dry Law Modification. BY CHARLES P. STEWART NEA Service Writer Washington. March 22.—1 n the be lief that Governor Albert C. Ritchie, of Maryland, is due to figure increas- I ingly in the news -for some time to come, I chased over to Baltimore the other day to find out for myself how he looks, talks and behaves, gener ally. He does all three admirably. Governor Ritchie, in short, 'has a charming personality. He’s a big man physically, he obviously has brains aiukhe's a gentleman all over, [ somewhat of the southern type. • • * • It was a tradition, prior to Rit chie’s regime, that governors of Mary land had only- one term apiece. , Ritchie's had two and now he be speaks a third. It’s his for the ask ing. on Maryland's ( part. This speaks well, and correctly, for his guberna torial records. * * * (Governor Ritchie is best known as a wet. Well, he is in favor of modifying the Volstead law, but not, he says, because he's wet. He's in favor of it because lie thinks the cause of tem perance was gaining ground up to the time prohibition was enacted, and. in his opinion, absolute prohibition gave it a bad setback, and since then things have been getting worse and worse. He wants modification, not as a wet measure, but an a temperance one. * * * However, his advocacy of prohibi tion modification is only incidental to his main issue, which is— State rights. Gastonia Preacher Is Author of a New Play. Gastonia, March 20.—Rev. Forrest J. Prettyman, D. D.. pastor of Main Street Methodist Church here and former United States Senate chap lain, has entered the role of play wright, his Intest contribution being “The Pilgrim’’ which tells the story of a superannuate Methodist minis ter and his wife, tending to solve their problems of a homeless age by means of the superannuate endow ment fund recently established by the church. The Chapel Hill Weekly, speaking of the rift in the Democratic party over the prohibition issue, * says, “Nothing short of a miracle can beat the Republicans in 1928.” More than two-thirds of all the re tail pharmacies in Denmark. arc own ed by the government. liPsir gpi For each man and woman, friend and neighbor I’m A. Live Wire, the labor saver. . Tin the snappy, full of pep chap who lifts the gloom from homes that needed to get acquainted with the wonderful blessing known as electric ity. I light up your rooms and halls, sweep your carpets and run your sew ing machines, heat your homes and light up everybody's pathway ill life. £jecklcaf&i JUvcW^te^ W. J.HETHCQX 3HONC 669-16 Sf DEPOT ST. CONCORD. N i GARDEN SEED 3c Package Gibson Drug Store (Authorized Agents) FOOD FOR Every Family Don't- worry about ypur meals; just phone us. We can supply you in Groceries, Fresh Fruits and Vegetables, and in Canned Goods. We can suit any family, large or small, for we carry three sizes (Num ber 1, 2 and 3 cans) 1 Sanitary Grocery Company THE CONCORD DAILY TRIBUNE This’ll Slow Him Up Some OUT OUR WAY BY WILLIAMS 1 Bo ’ r \=rf AMS' OF VOU fffflfn A . get aw of OAKIOV OL yf VOO L-l IlfllP? MA ' SAV _ QOmT GET f HOH NOf\ ( 'i\<\ ymmy ma,i g\T lour of were, i get-tw \ VffiVW//.- -TV D\SHT \TUL INA THRU.’ DISH T-US VKAPvtii-rU \ Wmt ootwr -i TISEI I. \l LICKED TH MOOR HlP wyy/f VoosiTi ma ? /m§HS>w Km ' fe LAsr Mo ° VJHW MOTHER’S GRAW - . J.^lLams, L,-_„ OC mA .NNEKi VA WANT SuMPkJ . , eumnm ' _ MOM’N POP BY TAYLOR H NECKT.ES? MV V6S- Since the latest stales from. LT l i ovo much omlv A Piffl L HIS PARIS- VIHW OOHBM OVJft F °J? ‘/ff BOC-kl SfcLESMAKi LEFT FRAHCE ° WE ? jltoi - [ 'vOVtrt THIS NECKWEAR fUE JT C-RltD LlVde BABIES/' < \ j \ V VOT’S D'MATTA? HOW SHOULD I ' j 2 . MEESTER GUNN VOS ALL I ft I ~ \ 7 A A BOOT CUSTOMER W SAIOWAS-ONLV . ' 1 . .i: i’. Don’t Be Misled, Look and see that g r ou get the yellow checkered Bag I and then you will know that you ; have got the original Starting to I , feed your baby chix on. i Cash Feed Store PHONE 122 SOUTH CHURCH ST. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaooooooooooooooooe a>»ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo6oono FANCY DRY GOODS WOMEN’S WEAR | 0000000cx30000e000000000000000000&73(xx)0000000000 XIOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOGOOOOOOOOOOOCGOOOOOOOOOGOOOOOQOi DELCO LIGHT Light Plants and Batteries Deep and Shallow Well Pumps for Direct or Alter nating current and Washing Machines for Direct or Al ternating Current. . ' R. H. OWEN, Agent —Phone 669 Concord, N. C. OPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooQoooooQoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOdH BATTERIES ( Big Price Reduction on Batteries for Fords and Chevrolcts PREST-O-LITE $15.50 COLUMBIA ... $11.95 Compare These Price?. REPLACEMENT FOR ALL CARS PHONE 228 (Studebaker Sales and Service) Auto Supply & Repair Co. I - 7 | Refrigerators i With the coming of Spring we will have warm weath- Ijj | er and you will need a Refrigerator. Let it be a Gurney. • | We have just unloaded a car load and have them from 8 i 50 lb. to 150 lb. capacity. In White Enameled or Porcelain* X i lined. In buying a solid car we got the best price possi- g f hie. Therefore you want to get our prices before you»| ; buy. If you buy a GURNEY you will be satisfied. H. a WILKINSON | Out of the High Kent District, Where Parking Space Is Plentiful i ! , and time unlimited. i Concord Kannapolis, Mnoresville China Grove [ iOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW 1 Hot Water "Jp 1 If is surely a friend in need and Yj| | a friend indeed of every cook ;j, if" I match and in a few minutes I steaming hot water will run Pays for itself quickly. E.B. GRADY PLUMBING AND HEATING DEALER Office and Show Room 39 E. Corbin St. Office Phone 334 W an mwd THE DAILY TRIBUNE AND THE PROGRESSIVE FARMER BOTH ONE YEAH AT THE FOLLOWING PRICES: In State outside Concord $5.25 The Progressive Farmer is the best farm paper published, and ita price is SI.OO a year. t: You need not pay for the Progressive Farmer at the same time you '' pay for The Tribune. We \\sll get it for you a whole year at any time on payment of only 25 eents. Pay your subscription to The Tribune to any contestant, tut come to The Tribune office to pay for your Progressive Farmer. PAGE SEVEN